Wednesday, November 8, 2006


For those of you who don't know where that name of "Swarley" came from in the previous post, then o'bviously you're not watching one of the best sitcoms on the air today - 'How I Met Your Mother'.

In this week's episode, Barney's drink order was mistakenly attributed to "Swarley" (also the episode title) at a local 'Friends'-style coffee house. After that, his friends were merciless in finding ways to twist the new, detested nickname:

Swarles Barkley

were three of the best.

If I had the chance to torment Barney with my own variation, I would have called him

"Kid Swarlemagne".

"Swarley" has got to be the best made-up name to be found in a TV series, male division. As for the female category? There's no competition......

Mulva (from 'Seinfeld')

In fact, I'm thinking the two piglets I was going to feature in a future "Toobworld" story should get those names. Swarley & Mulva. These piglets would be kin to Arnold Ziffel. And all of them can trace their intelligence back to their ancestor, the demi-god Hercules, who had a liaison with a sow during the unseen portions of the "Porkules" episode in 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys'.

As for Barney's predicament about being called "Swarley", it was never really resolved this week. The dreaded nickname may crop up again someday.

But here's the way to bring it to a cringing halt. Barney should bait them into calling him a variation of "Swarley" by showing up at MacLaren's Bar dressed in a white suit complete with porkpie hat, acting all calm and inscrutable. I don't know if it would be Marshall or Ted, but one of them wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to shout out for all to hear:

"Swarley Chan and the Chan Clan!"

And that's when Barney's secret weapon, a family of insulted Chinese, steps into view. The gang would never dare risk calling him "Swarley" again, for fear of what trap Barney might have set for them.

But that's if I ran Toobworld. I just maintain the place......


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