Saturday, May 14, 2005


Aaron Echolls is a movie star who lived in Neptune, California - at least in the TV series 'Veronica Mars'.

In one episode of the series, Amelia was watching an old movie of his in a motel room. It was a toga flick, a cheesy actioner very loosely based on Greek mythology.

As an amazing "coincidence", action movie superstar Reese Hardin also made a blood-and-sand epic from which clips were seen during the run of the TV series 'Movie Stars'. And those scenes looked suspiciously similar to the one shown in 'Veronica Mars'.

And to make it a trifecta, both movies are carbon copies of a motion picture that was made here in the Real World back in 1981 - "Clash Of The Titans". This all-star salute to the stop-motion wizardry of the legendary Ray Harryhausen introduced a young actor as its leading man by the name of Harry Hamlin.

And gee, wouldn't you know it? Harry Hamlin could pass as the twin brother to both Reese Hardin and Aaron Echolls. So forget about twins - they're triplets!

Toobworld is full of fictional movies, which we know mostly just by their titles: "Blood Orgy Of The Amazon" ('Laverne & Shirley'), "The Monster That Devoured Cleveland" ('Dobie Gillis'), or "Planet Of The D-Cups" ('Married... With Children').

But sometimes a scene from one of these fictional movies needs to be shown for a particular plot point. If it's too particular, I suppose they have to actually film it, as was the case with an old Nora Chandler movie in the 'Columbo' episode "Requiem For A Fallling Star".

But otherwise, it's been the general rule to use a movie that features somebody who might be in the cast for that TV show. For instance, Grace Wheeler was a former song-and-dance star of Hollywood's Golden Age of musicals, partnerered with Ned Diamond in the 'Columbo' episode "Forgotten Lady". And the movie that played a pivotal role in the Lieutenant's investigation was her classic "Walking My Baby Back Home".

The clips shown came from an actual movie by that name which starred Janet Leigh... who played the role of Grace Wheeler.

Incidentally, the Greek mythology movie made by Reese Hardin in 'Movie Stars' was also entitled "Clash Of The Titans" as was the film from which the clips came. Both "Titans" and "Walking My Baby" serve to illustrate the Real World echoes to be found in Toobworld.

Another example comes from "Method Actor", an episode of the 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' remake from the mid-1980s. Paul Dano was a former movie superstar who was now teaching film courses in college since the roles weren't exactly coming his way anymore.

And for one particular class, he showed a very emotional scene from an old movie of his, which showed him about to be executed for desertion in the Army.

That fictional film clip actually came from a TV movie that really helped to make Martin Sheen more of a household name - "The Execution Of Private Slovik". And how 'bout that? Martin Sheen looked exactly like Paul Dano! Who'd-a thunk it?

The reason I'm bringing up these examples of real movies substituting for fictional ones is because of a scene from the April 3rd episode of 'Desperate Housewives'. In it, Bree Van De Camp's son is watching TV and we can clearly see that it's a chase scene through a jungle.

And it features Evangeline Lilly as Kate in the pilot episode of 'Lost'.

Andrew Van De Camp should not be watching 'Lost' in Toobworld. 'Desperate Housewives' and 'Lost' should exist within the same TV Universe.

So in order to protect the integrity of the dimensional structure, we're going to say that the scene Andrew was watching was some other flick that by an amazing coincidence happened to look just like that scene from 'Lost'.

And since a transcript of that episode makes no mention of what exactly Andrew is watching, that's the position we're going to stick with. As far as we're concerned, Evangeline Lilly was either appearing as herself or some other fictional character in a movie that eerily mirrored what happened on the island of 'Lost'.

Not that anybody back in the outside world has any clue about that.... yet.

Or do they.......?



Friday, May 13, 2005



Like Sammy Davis Jr. showing up at 'Archie Bunker's Place', or Edith Head giving 'Columbo' an extreme makeover, George Lucas crossed over to the Toob Side, from the Real World to TV Land.

In last night's episode of the 'O.C.', the "Star Wars" creator somehow got hold of the comic book created by Seth, Zach, and Reed. And apparently he liked it so much that he wanted to produce it as his next movie.

The only problem was... he was going to be in town only the one night to discuss the matter, and that was the same night as the Harbor High prom. (Obviously Lucas was employing a Jedi mind trick on them - such an ultimatum wouldn't give them any time to consult a lawyer or even get an agent!)

One would think that any fanboy geek would jump at the chance. But a true fanboy geek would also remember how Darth Lucas butchered Steve Gerber's comic book creation of 'Howard The Duck'.

Anyway, a coin toss determined that Seth would go with Reed to meet with Lucas and Zach would go to the prom with Summer. Before the night was through, they traded places, and more than likely this game of musical chumps probably soured George Lucas on the whole deal.

For all I know, he then flew East to Pittsburgh in order to make a deal with Michael Novotny for his comic book. ('Queer As Folk')

It's just as well. Lucas admitted that he didn't even go to his senior prom. He stayed home and spent the time "being creative". (I had a different euphemism for that activity back in high school.)

He also said that he spent the time creating Jar Jar Binks. Eyuuurgh! Who'd want to go into business with a guy like that????




With his appearance on 'The O.C.', George Lucas has joined hundreds of people - politicians and entertainers, newsmakers and sports figures, scientists, authors, reality show contenders and even everyday folk - who have created fictional tele-versions of themselves in Toobworld.

Several websites dealing with the connections of the TV Universe would rather ignore those real people who make up the League of Themselves. But I accept them enthusiastically because they are just as fictional in this context as would be Larry Sanders and Lucillle Carmichael, both of whom interacted with more than their fair share of "Real People".

George Lucas finds himself in an interesting subset of the League of Themselves - those who create some of the very characters who now share the same fictional universe with them.

There is yet another group of such Creators, but they are not members of the League of Themselves; rather, they are depicted by actors to create their Toobworld personae. For example, there's Charles Dickens in 'Bonanza' and 'Doctor Who'; Mark Twain in 'Bonanza' as well and also in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'; and William Shakespeare in 'The Twilight Zone' and 'You Are There'.

But as for those who appeared as themselves, George Lucas would find himself in company with Aaron Spelling. Those private eyes who were affectionately known as 'Charlie's Angels' have encroached into Cineverse territory with two movies. And Spelling, who first brought them to prominence, once appeared as himself appropriately enough on 'The Powers That Be' with Senator William Powers.

"Coincidentally", Senator Powers looked a lot like Blake Carrington of 'Dynasty' (and maybe even Charlie Townsend himself!)

Around the same time 'Kilroy' aired, Jack Benny was trying to cadge free tickets to Disneyland from the Mega-Mouseketeer himself, Walt Disney who produced the mini-series about the misadventures of Oscar Kilroy.

And Anne Rice nearly had a meltdown in a Los Angeles bookstore run by 'Ellen' Morgan while across the country in New Orleans, her supernatural world was stirring anew in 'Rag And Bone'.

There are probably those reading this who might have the knee-jerk reaction that "Star Wars" belongs in the movie universe. That's how it was treated during the episode of 'The O.C.'. The movies played a pivotal role in episodes of 'Friends' and 'That 70s Show'.

But it has just as strong a presence in Toobworld, and we'll look at that next in the final chapter of this particular "Star Wars" trilogy.




With the animated series of 'Droids', 'Ewoks', and 'The Clone Wars', it could be argued that George Lucas has placed a version of the "Star Wars" empire into a Toobworld off-shoot, the "Tooniverse". Or we can apply the argument that animation is just the stylized rendition of real life in the main TV Land.

But Lucas also has plans for a live-action series in much the same vein as his 'Young Indiana Jones Chronicles' That would definitely anchor the movies into the TV Universe.

Not that he really needed the boost, as he's already firmly planted in Toobworld. Nearly thirty years ago, Luke Skywalker and his droids C-3PO and R2-D2 materialized in the theatre where 'The Muppet Show' was performed in search of actor Mark Hamill.

The droids also spent some time on 'Sesame Street' with other Muppets. And the moon of Endor, inhabited by the Ewoks, is firmly planted in the Toobworld firmament, thanks to two TV movies.

Oddly enough, "Star Wars" characters like Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Yoda, and the two droids have been showing up in diners drinking Pepsi, playing scratch and win games at Burger King, and recording ringtones for Cingular.

The Burger King spots are a step-up to be sure; the droids once sold their cyber-souls to a little-known fast food chain known as Burger Chef. At Burger Chef, you got Coke, no Pepsi. And yet now they're schilling for Pepsi, no Coke.

Sounds more like "Star Whores" than "Star Wars"!

The droids even did an anti-smoking PSA! (I think this is why C-3PO especially wanted to reach Earth. It's not enough to have gold-plating; better to cross his palm with silver. Threepio apparently even hawked his own line of breakfast cereals!)

Since commercials are a valid component of Toobworld, their shilling supports their rerun residency.

But even if we shunted the commercials off to an alternate dimension for television advertising, a place Hugh Davis has dubbed the "Blipverse" (after the term "blipverts" from 'Max Headroom'), George Lucas cannot escape his video past. As much as he hates it now, he okayed and produced a horrible holiday special celebrating "Star Wars".

Although the three main actors (Hamill, Fisher, and Ford) did work on it in cartoon form, it focused mostley on Chewbacca and life on his home planet; with appearances by Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, and Art Carney (at least he had a valid, interesting character in the show).

And now, coming full circle, Lucas embraces his past and re-visits that planet in this last movie, "Revenge Of The Sith".

How do we reconcile the fact that George Lucas and Darth Vader are both now members of the TV Universe? Easily. If Luke Skywalker crossed over from his side of the galaxy to interact with Mark Hamill, perhaps someone else did so earlier and gave George Lucas the knowledge for him to write up their story, "fictionalizing" it slightly for the movies.

And now that 'The O.C.' has been visited by the Jedi Master himself, perhaps they should take the next logical step.......

Dress up Mischa Barton for a Princess Leia fantasy!

Tele-Toby Wan Kenobi

Thursday, May 12, 2005


The true fans of 'Lost' bend their brain waves towards every possible permutation of the information we've been given over this first season.

Here's an example, from the forum at the official 'Lost' site, "The Fuselage":

Maybe we will get a Vincent flashback, how he was traumatized as a pupply. He was trapped in a cardboard box, shipped to Canada, narrowly escaped a fire in a shoe factory, snuck aboard a ship that docked in Australia, befriended a pregnant girl but fled when he saw a man shoot this guy in a shrimp shack, then came to live with a young boy who seemed to be special and then the woman of the house suddenly died and he was stuck in a box again and put on a plane that crashed.

guess I could be reaching :D

- Kermeeet

Maybe not, Kermeeet. You're not the only one who has fantasies about which way 'Lost' should go. And many of them involve other TV shows.

This particular "Lost in thought" happened while a couple of guys at were talking about the Super Bowl:

PM: Now there’s an innovation: Sleestack-cam!
SL: With Enik reporting from the sidelines.
PM: “Chaka turnover, no!”
SL: “Let’s go to the sleestack for his analysis. Sleestack?” “Hissssss, hissssss, hissssssssss.”
JS: Remind me to tell you my theory about Lost sometime — that it’s secretly a remake of The Land of the Lost and that the monster in the jungle is a Sleestak.
LS: That would explain so much.


And then there were these two comments from a 'Lost' forum over at LiveJournal:

It makes me think of Angel, where Jasmine is born as an adult. Cordelia ends up in a coma because of it, though. I'd really rather not see Claire have the same fate. ;)

- latara
No no, the rumour is ANYA might be on Lost. *squees* I hope so! Yay Emma Caulfield and fandom crossovers! :-D
- tigereyed24

Lost_TV@Live Journal

As for me, I'm hoping we'll someday see there's a connection to 'Chicago Hope', since we just learned that Kate's real last name is "Austin".

Paging Christine Lahti!




There are only three more episodes to go for this first season of 'Lost'. And then the more rabid fans among us who pore over details and obsess about clues and symbolism will have to make it through the summer awaiting first the release of the DVD boxed set (I ordered two!), and then the debut of their sophomore season.

For this Lostaway, it's going to make the schedule breaks of this past season seem like a hiccup in the time-space continuum.

Recently, I vented over in the official linear board for 'Lost', "The Fuselage", that so many weeks of interruptions due to repeats in order to stretch out the season to reach May Sweeps was harmful to the show's momentum.

I also mentioned a story in the Post that such breaks in the schedule could cause that particular writer (not me!) to just give up and walk away.

I received a thoughtful reply.

I disagree with you and with that guy from the Post. First of all, I don't think LOST is in ANY danger of duplicating the mistakes made by X-Files and Twin Peaks. In fact, the creators have admitted to studying these shows, as well as many others for exactly that reason -- NOT to duplicate those mistakes.

Secondly, the creative team for LOST are not exactly rookies in the television industry. I wouldn't belittle the experience they bring to the table.

And finally, I'm glad and I'm sure the people at LOST are glad that you love this show so much that you want it to be on every week. But face it, this is the way that the industry works -- not just for this show, but for ALL TV shows. It is the nature of the beast. This isn't the first show that has had 3 or 4 or 6 weeks between new episodes -- but it sounds like this is the first show that you have cared enough about to miss it so badly during those breaks.

I am a huge fan of ALIAS. Last season there was a lot of this same kind of talk about how the breaks between shows would "lose the audience." So what did we get? EIGHT MONTHS before we got a new episode. Yes, we have new episodes every week now, but I feel like I have barely finished processing what happened last week and a new week is upon me. There is no time to really theorize or get into good-natured arguments with my fellow fans, because new elements come into play EVERY SINGLE WEEK! Me? I prefer the way it used to be.

Of course you are entitled to your opinion and that is what this board is for -- I just wanted to give you another perspective.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


I was quite surprised as I went through my morning routine (no, not that one!) of my usual checking online TV news sources - there appeared to be no mention of last night's episode of 'Veronica Mars'.

I thought surely that after the resolution of the yearlong mystery regarding the murder of Lily Kane, there would immediately be articles to capitalize on the buzz. Instead, it wasn't until later in the day before I could find links to the story via my favorite clearing house,

In the first two years of 'The Sopranos', David Bianculli of the New York Daily News wrote about the season finales in such detail that it almost made no sense for me to watch the episode on tape once I got home from work the following morning. (Yes, I know I could have refrained from reading his column, but he's too good a writer and I am weak of spirit. Just shoot me.)

Perhaps the evolving nature of the TV tradition known as "water cooler shows" is responsible for changing the priorities in reporting developments in TV shows. Apparently, many people are now using TiVo or other DVR services to record their favorite shows and then watching them much later.

Personally, I would have thought this alteration in mindset would have been just as prevalent during the age of videotape (especially since that's what I have to do, what with working an overnight shift and sleeping during prime time). But with a TiVo, I guess you can get hundreds of hours stored up before a need to clear the system, whereas with a videotape, at best you get only eight hours and a home clogged with piles of cartridges.

And if people aren't going to read your column if there's a chance you might blab about the big secrets, then maybe your editor might think nobody's reading you at all. And that would be detrimental to a regular paycheck.

(Not that Paige Wiser of the Chicago Sun-Times had such concerns. After spilling the beans in the headline itself, she then wrote, "Sorry. I meant to write "spoiler ahead" for those of you on a TiVo delay, but the watercooler can't wait. ")

I haven't been watching 'Veronica Mars'. I taped the first two episodes and then never found the time to watch them; so I figured I was going to fall too far behind to ever keep up. With all the work I put in to Toobworld research (for other upcoming projects as well as this blog) - not to mention my job and the minuscule semblance of a Life! - I end up reading more about TV than I actually watch it.

I depend on the TV Guide entries and websites like TV Tome and to keep me abreast of the weekly happenings on many TV shows, just in case there might be something of interest for Toobworld. So many series nowadays are multi-episodic in their story arcs (like '24' and 'NYPD Blue'), that I really have to decide from the beginning whether or not I can make the guarantee to hang in there for the full season.

There are very few shows I can do that for anymore: 'The West Wing', 'Entourage', and my rave fave of this season, 'Lost'. I couldn't do it for 'Deadwood' or 'Joan of Arcadia' in their sophomore seasons, and I only came back to 'Enterprise' because Manny Coto brought it back to the roots of its mythology this year.

So here's my question for those who were faithful to 'Veronica Mars':

Since I do know the Big Secret to this season's mystery, should I bother to watch the entire run of the series once it comes out on DVD? (I'll admit that knowing the resolutions never stops me from watching 'Columbo' reruns over and over and over again.)

I'm not sure how many people are out there who actually read my ramblings, but I hope to hear from some of you regarding this.


Tuesday, May 10, 2005


I can't help but feel sorry for last week's crossover between 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit' and 'Law & Order: Trial By Jury'. It made for a great evening of Television on NBC, but there was that "Been There Done That" cloud hanging over it. That sensation would have been there even without Munch's crossover a few weeks ago. (And it gets diluted even more by having DA Arthur Branch as a regular on both 'Trial By Jury' as well as the original series.)

That pervasive sense of cohesion can be felt throughout all the series in the 'Law & Order' franchise; they are special victims of their own success when it comes to maintaining the crossover integrity of their corner of the TV Universe.
It's a shame too, as the two-parter boasted a very powerful guest cast - Rita Moreno, Alfred Molina, and Angela Lansbury.

Maybe if Ms. Lansbury had appeared as Jessica Fletcher, or Ms. Moreno was reprising her character in 'Oz'. (Not sure if it would have helped any if Molina showed up as his character from 'Bram And Alice'.....)

As it stands, the crossover never had a chance against a wild crossover between a soap opera and a somewhat forgotten sitcom from thirty years ago.

But it's May and such is the nature of the Sweeps Beast.

The other crossover of note was already covered in an earlier essay. (Scroll down to "Clicking Glick, King" for why the crossover between 'Larry King Live' and 'Prime Time Glick' ultimately failed.)



As a plot point during the most recent episode of 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', the detectives had to check out a scene from a movie in which a fictional actor appeared with Matt Damon. And during that scene, we actually got to hear the voice of Damon reciting movie dialogue which can only be found in the TV Universe.

So Matt Damon has established his fictional "tele-version" with a better credential than the cameo he did for the 'Saturday Night Live' hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Whether comedy/variety shows like 'SNL' should be included in the fabric of Toobworld remains sketchy at best.

Sorry about that, Chief.


Monday, May 9, 2005



What are we to do with Phoebe Figalilly in the grand scheme of all things Crossover? For those long in the cerebral tooth, they'll remember her as the main character in 'Nanny And The Professor' back in 1970, who magically arrived Poppins-fresh to care for a widowed educator's three children.

It's over thirty years later, and Phoebe Figalilly has reappeared - on the other side of the country in the town of Harmony on the soap opera 'Passions'.

Here's the official recap of her first appearance from NBC:

Tabitha gleefully informs Endora that murder is in the air. After conjuring up "Nanny Phoebe," Tabitha heads over to see Mrs. Wallace, who is desperate to find Beth before she unknowingly has sex with her own father. As Edna prays for guidance and help, a horrified Tabitha finds herself stuck in place as angels descend upon her.

Meanwhile, the Phoebe doll, now animated to be a life-sized nanny to the baby, informed little Endora that she also had magic at her disposal. And playing in the background? The theme music from the original series.....

"Soft and sweet, wise and wonderful
Oooh, our mystical, magical Nanny"

But does that constitute an actual crossover?

After all those intervening years, Phoebe Figalilly has not aged a bit, but she has changed; the first stumbling block to the perfect crossover is the casting. Three decades ago, Phoebe was portrayed by Juliet Mills. It isn't so much that thirty years have marked their passing with Ms. Mills - as it has to us all! - when the character should not only appear ageless but nearly immortal.

The main problem is that Juliet Mills is already starring on 'Passions' as a witch named Tabitha Lenox who has gone over to the dark side.

So the Powers That Be did the next best thing in casting - they hired the daughter of Juliet Mills, Melissa Caulfield.

Obviously, due to the genetic contribution from her father Maxwell Caulfield, Ms. Caulfield is not a perfect clone of her mother as Phoebe. But as seen in a recent publicity photo from TV Guide, the likeness is striking. (The addition of the well-known wardrobe for Nanny Phoebe went a long way towards completing the illusion.)

As to the differences that are tell-tale between the two actresses who have assayed the role, 'Passions' head writer James Reilly has provided the splainin: the current incarnation of Phoebe Figalilly is due to magic. Baby Endora cast a spell which transformed her Nanny doll into Phoebe.

It could be that the spirit of the original Phoebe infuses this effigy, and thus any change in appearances can be chalked up to the material used to make this new doll, even to its stitching.

This is not to say the original Phoebe was an animated doll. But as they used to say in the 'Deputy Dawg' cartoons, "It's poz'ble; it's poz'ble."

There was always a mystery surrounding her origins in 'Nanny And The Professor'. We know Phoebe had family; her Aunt Henrietta (as played by the delightfully loopy Elsa Lanchester) practically became a regular on the series towards its finale.

We also met other relatives like her uncles Alfred and Horace and her aunts Agatha and Justine. (Uncle Alfred was played by Juliet Mills own father, Sir John Mills.)

And then there was her intended, Cholmondeley Featherstonehaugh, to whom she had been promised as a child.
(The planned marriage never went through, and I'm sure fans of the show hoped that one day Nanny would marry her Professor.)

The backstory to her engagement suggests that Phoebe did age, since she did have a childhood. But as to how long that might have taken is open to speculation. There was an episode in which the children thought Nanny had been born on April 18th, 1864, as they found an old passport with her picture in it and with that date of birth.

Nanny's explanation that she had an ancestor who looked like her didn't exactly play out, as the supposed ancestress was a Libra (which meant she was born in October).

Perhaps it was a different doll of that day being infused with the Phoebe phantom. And therefore maybe her whole family consisted of living dolls.

It might seem like a stretch, but when you factor in all of the strange occurrences surrounding Nanny which happened in the three seasons the show was on the air, it's no longer that hard to believe.

Such a thing as living dolls isn't unheard of in Toobworld. Setting aside the sitcom 'My Living Doll' (which was about an android), living dolls have appeared on 'Bewitched', 'The Twilight Zone', 'Tales From The Crypt', and of course, 'Passions' itself. The soap opera first became successful due mostly to Tabitha's sidekick Timmy (played by the late Josh Ryan Evans.)

In fact, one 'Passions' crossover I always hoped to see was a confrontation between Timmy and Talking Tina, as voiced by the great June Foray in the episode "" of 'The Twilight Zone'. (There's an idea for any 'Passions' fanfictioneers out there. Feel free to run with it.)

So based on that premise - that this is the same Nanny Phoebe in a new incarnation, and that the Figalilly Family are all homonculi - I can then accept this to be a legitimate crossover between 'Passions' and 'Nanny And The Professor'.

Hey, so long as there's a splainin, I'm easy!

(Of course, this could all change due to the continuing storyline. I'll have to start reading one of those fannish recap sites to keep up on her storyline. Because there's no way I'd ever watch this show on a daily basis! Sorry, you Passionatas, but this soap opera is the master when it comes to taking forever to go nowhere.)

So let's raise our martimmy glasses and toast the Crossover Of The Week!


Sunday, May 8, 2005


"Oh, Wilbur!"

Maybe it's just as well I don't gamble, because my method for choosing a horse to root for in the Kentucky Derby left a lot to be desired.

Just for bleeps and giggles, I looked over the line-up of horses, trying to find that Runyonesque name that would jump out at me as if to say "I've got the horse right here!"

And there it was - "Greater Good", a 50-1 shot. Just last Wednesday, the episode that was shown for 'Lost' was "The Greater Good". And I love 'Lost'!

But what if it also meant that Greater Good would end up lost at the back of the pack on the track? (Who's writing this? Dr. Seuss?)

And then I found out that "The Greater Good" wasn't even the original title for the episode; it had been made under the name of "Sides".

So I kept searching.

When I saw last week's episode of 'Law & Order', it struck me strange that it was about a murder centered around horse racing. We're in the middle of the May Sweeps period, and horse racing didn't exactly scream sensational ratings to me. (Not like a case of a love affair gone horribly wrong... between siblings! DUNH DUNH DUNH!)

And it didn't even seem to be ripped from the headlines to me, but then, I didn't even know the Derby was being run until Friday. That at least made sense to me, from the network's business angle - NBC, home of 'Law & Order', was also going to be the network showing the Kentucky Derby.

And thinking that combo meant kharma, I combed through the list of colts again. And I found the horse to cheer on - "Closing Arguments".

I didn't do too badly - Closing Arguments came in second. Would've paid some serious quatloos had I actually played it.

And for this fan of the Red Sox, at least I also had the satisfaction of seeing George Steinbrenner's horse, "Bellamy Road" (a heavy favorite), come in out of the running at fourth as though the Boss himself had been riding him.

They should have had A-Rod as the jockey for Bellamy Road. "Slappy Rodriguez" would know how to slap that horse's haunches to get more speed out of him.