Saturday, February 10, 2007


Just added a baker's dozen of new links there to the left:

YouTube (took long enough!)
TV & Radio Bits
Tom McMahon's blog
TV Babble (from Australia)
Episode World
The TV Zone (from Newsday - there's another one as well)
It's Over, TV
Cartoon Secrets (that might be inactive, or just starting out....)
TV Ark (a British TV "museum")
TV Newser
Nostalgia Central
TV Series Finale

Plus there's NoControl, an rss/xml news reader which is now carrying me as well.

Check them out at your leisure and I hope you find something in all of them to be of interest......



If I was in charge of this past Wednesday's episode of 'Lost' ("Not In Portland"), there's one small detail I would've added in.

After they knocked the guard unconscious (nice cameo by Rob MacElhinney of 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia', by the way!), I would have shown Sawyer grabbing his copy of "A Brief History Of Time" by Stephen Hawking.

After all, Sawyer knows that once he gets back to their own island, the reading options are going to be pretty slim. And Hawking's book should be ponderous enough to keep him busy for a while.

Of course, there's always "Our Mutual Friend" by Dickens - if that survived the hatch implosion.....


It's not too late about that book, folks. Sawyer can always splain away its presence by saying he shoved it in his back pocket. Then again, Sawyer does wear them jeans tight on his ass....

Um... not that I noticed.....

Friday, February 9, 2007


I promised myself that I was through with writing about 'Studio 60'. And as far as trying to shoehorn it into Toobworld, that's true. I still watch it, and will probably do so to the bitter end (i.e. through the whole season).

But even though I called quits on writing about it, there is still this one little thing that's been bothering me.....

Viewers who watch 'Studio 60' with knowledge of the behind-the-scenes situations have realized that Aaron Sorkin has used a lot of the characters to work out his own relations and sometimes even seek revenge on those he feels who wronged him.

Just ask Kristen Chenoweth, Maureen Dowd, Ricky Cleveland, or any number of cat-loving, pajama-clad bloggers.

So there was a subplot over the last few weeks that really got me steamed, because I felt that Sorkin was taking the wrong side on the issue.

Cast member Simon was giving the new writer grief, just because Darius didn't want to write the sketch Simon suggested. He told Darius that he was forgetting his place in the heirarchy of the show. Simon tried to lay a guilt trip on him, saying that Darius owed him his job.

Which really wasn't true - Simon dragged Matt to a comedy club to see some other black comic. It was Matt who recognized that Darius was the one with the talent which could be used by the show.

Simon also acted superior over Darius, calling him an overseer and "Chicken George". But the plantation slave analogy doesn't work in this case. Darius would have been comparable to the lowly field worker, doing the hard labor, while Simon would have more in common with the house servant, leading the "good life" in the Big House.... that is, as a visible, celebrated member of the cast making the big bucks.

I have to figure that most of the audience watched those scenes like I did - by the time it was resolved, I wanted Darius to punch Simon's lights out (since I couldn't do it myself).

And yet Sorkin seems to have written it with his sympathies clearly on Simon's side, and with Darius contritely accepting that he had been in the wrong. Passing that script to Simon for his approval of a joke, Darius might as well have been kissing his ring for forgiveness.

Any other writer would have realized that audience sympathy would be in Darius' corner. So why would Sorkin want to alienate the audience by forcing them to identify with Simon?

It's just my opinion, but I think he was only concerned with his own viewpoint and be damned with everybody else watching. (Pretty much how he's treated the entire run of the show, actually.)

So it got me thinking - what if he was once again drawing on personal experience to create an analogy for something he had gone through? If so, this had to be more of an example of Sorkin seeking revenge rather than just working through a previous relationship.

There's no way I'm going to prove this, but it could be that the basis in reality stems from the time when "In Excelsis Deo", an episode of 'The West Wing', won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series in 2000. (It also won the 2000 Humanitas Prize and was nominated for the WGA WGA Laurel Award or Outstanding Achievement in Television Writing for Episodic Drama in 2001.)

There were two names on that Emmy award - Sorkin's and Ricky Cleveland.

Up on the stage, Sorkin made the acceptance speech, filling out the time so that Cleveland didn't get the chance to say anything. He got the opportunity two months later in an article he wrote for the Writer's Guild magazine.

He told of how the subplot in "In Excelsis Deo" about Toby Ziegler getting a homeless vet buried in Arlington was somewhat autobiographical, as his own father was a Korean vet who lost everything to alcoholism and spent his last few years living in flophouses.

According to Ricky Cleveland, he was upset with Sorking for not allowing him time to say a few words during the presentation because Sorkin "has an actor's vanity about his work".

Had it remained just that article in the WGA magazine, Sorkin could have easily ignored it, knowing that most people would never hear about it. But then Bernard Weintraub of the New York Times wrote about the incident in June of 2001.

Weintraub alleged that Sorkin created ill will with his staff of writers for taking credit on every story that came up for 'The West Wing' and that he only doled out co-writing credits to the others as some kind of token. According to Weintraub's article, even though Cleveland asked permission to say something at the awards show in his father's memory, Sorkin ignored him when the time came.

Sorkin responded on a web site, claiming that most of that script was all his idea and that Cleveland's only contribution was finding the business card in the pocket. He probably didn't expect those comments to get noticed either, because Cleveland shot back that one need only go to the WGA archives online to find his drafts of the script and see how much of that storyline actually came from him.

And Cleveland also pointed out that a lot more of that script came from him as well; and that it's the WGA who determines who gets credit on the script, that Sorkin didn't just "give" him a handout.

Sorkin backtracked in an attempt to make peace. "I was simply responding, not thinking that there were more than a dozen people in teh room," he told the Washington Post. To the TV Guide, he said, "I'd gone below the belt in assassinating his work."

But I think the enmity towards Ricky Cleveland remained, as did his hatred towards the Internet for being as powerful as it had become. He still carried those grudges over into 'Studio 60', where he created a hack comedy writer named Ricky Tahoe and also got in several jabs against those willing to espouse their opinions on the Internet. (He seems to act as if their opinions shouldn't count for as much as his.)

But even though he sent Ricky Tahoe packing from the show, banishing the avatar for Ricky Cleveland, I think Sorkin still can't let go of his feelings about the matter. However, instead of using his main stand-in, Matt Albie, this time, he chose to work out his resentment through Simon and Darius. (Seems kind of odd to time it so that the storyline [hopefully!] concluded during Black History Month, considering how offensive Simon's attitude was.)

And just to make sure that we know Sorkin sides with Simon, he had Matt, his usual stand-in, act in collusion with Simon by making sure Darius saw the hate mail that Simon gets from viewers. I get the impression that Sorkin wants his writers to be grateful, subservient, and beholden to him for the scraps he gives them.

Thank you kindly, Massa!

But that's just me. I could be wrong......


Thursday, February 8, 2007


Some of you may have noticed that I have not been keeping up with the Hat Squad tributes since before the holidays. I've still been keeping track of those who have passed away and brought us so many interesting characters to populate Toobworld; but my heart's never been into reporting such stories.

I promise that one day I'll post all those tributes which I have idling in the Toobworld back rooms.....

But I did want to take a moment to mention the passing of Anna Nicole Smith today at the age of 39. I can't say it was a surprise, not when she always looked so out of it even at the best of times. And in the past few months, with the death of her son right after she gave birth to her daughter, and with a stressful lawsuit regarding her baby's paternity weighing down on her, I can believe that her heart simply gave out from carrying such a burden. (Although pending the autopsy reports, I'm also ready to believe it could have been due to any number of reasons.)

If there's anybody I'm truly sad for in all of this, it's the baby, Danni Lynn.

Several times today, in televised news reports and in several blog posts, I've seen/heard the term "train wreck television" used in describing her career. And that's the best description I could have come up with for the kind of genre her reality show fell under.

When it first premiered on TV, her reality show was somewhat unique in letting us see Anna Nicole, warts and all, exposing her to the ridicule of the viewers as well as from various comedy shows. And yet, she was able to walk away from it with something of a boost to her career, which had been kind of flagging by that point.

So if I was to be considering her for entry into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, this was one League of Themselves reality appearance that I think provided her with one of her three qualifications.

The other two examples are fairly easy to find. Anna Nicole appeared in the first episode of 'The Naked Truth' ("Wilde Again") in 1995, when Nora Wilde slipped into the fertility clinic to find out whether or not Anna Nicole was pregnant.

Ten years later, Anna Nicole got tangled up in the lives of Robert and Neesee in "Kiss, Kiss, Pass", an episode of 'All Of Us'. I'm not sure how she was involved, but here's the basic rundown of that episode's plot (courtesy of

"Jumping back into the dating scene, Robert meets a great woman, who is understanding of his current living arrangements, but is disappointed when he finds out she once dated Dirk.

Meanwhile, Robert and Neesee teach Bobby, Jr. about the tooth fairy."


I could see her getting mixed up in either one of those scenarios for that episode....

There'll be no way to shield her daughter from the truth about her mother - there's too much video proof out there on the internet. But I hope she'll find her own strength as she gets older, and I hope that many of these people now vying for control of her life will be doing so with ONLY her best interests at heart.

Shyeah, right....



Timing is everything, no matter which universe you're in.

This morning, just hours before the death of Anna Nicole Smith, Rosie O'Donnell lit into her on 'The View'. "If I have to see Anna Nicole Smith on my TV one more time...." she began, suggesting that with all of her tragedies and her current legal hassles over her baby daughter (not to mention the slurring), there surely must be some sort of medication involved.

You can see the video for yourself at the Best Week Ever site.

It's the worst case of timing I've seen since the day Mother Theresa died, and the comic strip "The Piranha Club" showed her that morning trying out bungee jumping as a hobby for her retirement.



Those of you who have not yet watched last night's episode of 'Lost', which returned to the airwaves after a 13 week hiatus, had best scroll down to some other Toobworld post right now or better yet, perhaps leave altogether and come back after you've watched it. Because we're about to discuss a key plot point that should be kept as a surprise full of shock and awe.

Alas! For me, one who is spoiler-addicted, it was too late; I knew about it months ago. But it's not too late for you, dear reader! Scroll! Save yourselves!

You have been warned....

When the representative from Mittelos BioScience asked what could be done to remove any roadblocks from Juliet's acceptance of their job offer, she acidly joked that it would take a bus hitting her ex-husband to make it possible.

Later, after she told her ex, Edmund Burke, that her experiments to get her cancer-stricken sister pregnant succeeded, they argued over whether or not to go public with the news. (He was only interested in the fame and glory the success would bring them, and even then he was only getting half-credit because he was blackmailing her.)

At the corner, he stepped out into the street and then turned to continue the argument, only to be mowed down by a fast-moving bus - just as Juliet had requested.

Sound familiar?

This is from an episode of 'nip/tuck' ("Faith Wolper, Ph.D.") which aired in October, 2006:

(Outside the office; Monica is heading across the street when Sean comes out of the office)
Sean: Monica, wait! You’re being irrational! Let’s talk about this.
Monica Wilder: (stops in the middle of the road) You should worry more about what Julia’s going to say when I go to the police and tell them what you did!

(A bus comes out of nowhere and flattens her)

[Transcript courtesy of]

However, within the reality of Toobworld, it cannot be said that 'Lost' ripped off 'nip/tuck'. (And even outside of it the argument might not hold up - they could have been written around the same time, if not produced concurrently as well). That's because the scene in 'Lost' was taking place about five years ago - for Juliet, it happened over 3 years and two months before the events on the island. And the events in "real" time on 'Lost' are only up to December of 2004.

For 'nip/tuck', the events are pretty much concurrent with the date of each episode's broadcast unless otherwise stated, as is the case with most TV shows (save for historical productions and space operas).

Getting back within the shows' realities, it could be that the good people of Mittelos BioScience arranged for that bus to bitch-smack Monica as well. (I should point out that the representative denied ever having anything to do with Dr. Burke's "accident". Shyeah, right!)

Hey, if something works, ya gotta stick with it.

But why would they have done so? Perhaps it was because they had an ulterior motive in keeping the plastic surgery business of Drs. Troy and McNamara scandal-free. Of course, at the same time as Monica Wilder was rearing her not-so-ugly head with her obsession over Sean, Christian was getting involved more deeply with the wife of the firm's new owner - which also could have ramifications against the firm. Because, unbeknownst to Christian and Sean, Michelle's former "pimp" was using the facility in her scheme to harvest organs for a black market transplant operation.

It could be that Mittelos BioScience analyzed the situation and manipulated events from behind the scenes so that it would eventually play itself out with McNamara/Troy (Troy/McNamara?) in the clear. On the other hand, the Monica Wilder situation threatened to blossom into a wildfire and needed immediate containment; hence, the bus.

Why would Mittelos BioScience need a couple of plastic surgeons, who - while skilled artisans in their field - were not possessive of extraordinary advancements in medical research?

By the end of this past season for 'nip/tuck', Drs. McNamara & Troy had moved to Hollywood to practice their trade. Now they were faced with being the small fish in a big pond, whereas in Miami they were the best of the best. Sure, they both needed the change in locale after nearly nuking their personal lives back in Florida, but it could be that once again Mittelos BioScience (o'bviously an off-shoot of Hanso Industries) manipulated their decision behind the scenes. This would bring them closer to where the corporation really needed them - at the Los Angeles end of their nefarious operation's Sydney-L.A. route.

To what end? Who knows? Perhaps one of the Others returning from the two islands would need plastic surgery to bury his or her past identity. As the late Clyde Bruckman would say on 'The X-Files', "How the hell would I know?"

In fact, I don't want to know. I don't want to get hit by a bus.....

Stepping outside the TV Universe altogether, this same scenario occurs in the movie 'Mean Girls'. And of course, it happened all the time over in the Tooniverse whenever Wile E. Coyote stood in front of that painted tunnel on the rock wall.

Beep Beep!


'Lost' is one of those shows that sends me running to one of those anagram sites you can find online. (The two-part season ender for 'Torchwood' was the same, whatwith a character by the name of "Bilis Manger" - "I am Nils Berg", "brings email", "big minerals", "rising blame", "glib marines" or "grim lesbian". You decide. Yeah, being 'Torchwood', I went with that one, too.....)

Anyway, I ran the word "Mittelos" through the program and four responses caught my eye:

Lost Time - Time has played a big role on this show. In fact, in last night's episode, an Other was reading "A Brief History Of Time" by Dr. Stephen Hawking.
Lost Item - A lot of items have played their part in this show: buttons, glass eyes, keys, books. Perhaps 'Lost' has some kind of kinship with last year's mini-series 'The Lost Room'.....
Time Slot - Well, the show was moved back to the 10 pm hour to avoid the juggernaut of that vile and stupid 'American Idol'.....
and finally,
Motliest - As good a word as any to describe the make-up of the Castaways group......

"The bus bringeth and the bus taketh away.
You know, that's a lot like life
Floyd Lawson
'The Andy Griffith Show'


It will be happening outside of the realm of Toobworld, but there's word that a splainin will be provided as to why The Doctor's new companion, Martha Jones, looks suspiciously like a girl named Adeola. Adeola worked for the London branch of Torchwood in the two-part season finale of 'Doctor Who' last year.

Unfortunately, she was transformed into a soul-less slave by the Cybermen and was one of the first victims to die in the Canary Wharf battle.

It turns out that in a novel to be published before the third season premieres ("Made Of Steel" by Terrance Dicks), Martha mentions to the Doctor that Adeola was her cousin and that they looked somewhat identical.

Identical cousins. Where have I heard that before?

I wonder if a hot dog will make Martha lose control......?


Thanks to Rob Buckley for the heads-up on that story......


In this past week's episode of 'Extras' (which took place even earlier in Toobworld due to it being shown already in the UK), Maggie Jacobs was able to figure out how old Andy Millman was when he lost his virginity through a series of exasperating questions and observations.

"What are you?" Andy finally snapped. "Columbo?"

Are you havin' a Zonk? Is he havin' a Zonk?

No, he wasn't. Andy was not referring to the TV show because there is no 'Columbo' TV series in Toobworld. He was referring to the actual Lt. Columbo of the LAPD (the one who looks remarkably like the actor Peter Falk).

Back in the early 1970s, Lt. Columbo was sent over to London as a representative of the Los Angeles police force to observe criminology methods at New Scotland Yard. While tagging along with Detective Chief Superintendent William Durk on what appeared to be the accidental death of producer Sir Roger Haversham, Columbo was able to solve two heinous murders which brought down the West End's leading theatrical couple, Nicholas Frame and Lillian Stanhope.

The solution of the crime was literally staged at the London Wax Museum, where the figures of all the participants were on display - Sir Roger, Mr. Frame, and Ms. Stanhope.

Now, it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that the curators of the Wax Museum decided that what the exhibit needed was a wax figure of Lt. Columbo himself in order to bring the display full circle, from the victim to the murderers to the American cop who figured it all out.

And with that wax figure there would naturally have to be some kind of placard to give the museum visitors additional information about the Lieutenant.

As a kid, perhaps Andy Millman spent many long hours at the London Wax Museum where he not only learned a lot about Columbo, but where he also found inspiration to become an actor. (And if his agent Darren Lamb screws up his career even more than he did at the BAFTA Awards, perhaps Andy found inspiration to commit murder as well!)

But that wouldn't be the only place where people like Andy would have learned about Lt. Columbo. Even though most of his cases were solved in Los Angeles (asides from the British trip, of course, as well as a murder in Mexico and one on the high seas), Columbo enjoyed a world-wide reputation for his prowess as his career wound down. (We know it couldn't have happened too much earlier, because most of his suspects never heard of him, and they were far from being out of the loop.)

Consider the high-profile nature of many of his cases. Among the murderers he brought to justice were the conductor for a major symphony orchestra, the publisher of a racy men's magazine, two best-selling mystery novelists, the star of a highly rated detective series, the owner of a glamorous cosmetics empire, the owner of a noted winery, a wunderkind film director, a renowned painter, a celebrated photographer, a famous poet, an influential restaurant critic, a TV cooking show host, and two fading actresses from the glory days of the movies, as well as the previously mentioned couple from London's theatre scene.

(You know what kind of murderer I always hoped to see Columbo go up against? A spoiled but brilliant child star. Elijah Wood would have been great in the role back in the day, Jodie Foster even earlier in the timeline of 'Columbo'. Haley Joel Osment could have scored high ratings riding the crest from 'The Sixth Sense'. Why not Dakota Fanning now? Or Abigail Breslin?)

These are not people who can be arrested for murder without some notoriety and exposure. It's because of people like these that networks like Court TV came into being!

And one name would keep cropping up in any news reports or analyses of these cases - Columbo.

So from my viewpoint, I see nothing out of the ordinary in the fact that Andy Millman knew about the detective, and that he knew his friend Maggie would understand the reference.

Zonk averted. Mystery solved.

Oh! (And you knew I'd have to say this.) Just one more thing.......

In the grand scheme of things in the TV Universe, there were three Lt. Columbos, two of whom reside in Earth Prime-Time. The one who resembles an actor named Bert Freed must be shipped off to the dimension of TV remakes, even though his was the first appearance of the character. Hey, there's just no denying Peter Falk's interpretation from taking its rightful place in the pantheon of the main Toobworld.

But that first 'Columbo' (seen in an episode of 'The Chevy Mystery Show', "Enough Rope") was the same story seen several years later in the first 'Columbo' pilot, "Prescription: Murder". Had it been a totally different story, we could have allowed Bert Freed's version of the detective reside in the same TV dimension as Falk's. However, we have to relegate it to the dimension usually reserved for the remake follow-ups, in much the same way we did for the first version of 'The Strange World of Horace Ford', which starred Art Carney.

The third version of Lt. Columbo can reside in the same TV dimension as the Columbo we know best, since his life is radically different. This Columbo was never seen, but his wife Kate and their daughter were the focal point of a different series, 'Mrs. Columbo'.

Now, NBC and Universal may have wanted the audience to think that she was married to the character played by Peter Falk, but for once the audience proved to have some smarts and they rejected the whole notion of the series. Eventually the producers dropped the attempt to link the show with 'Columbo'; instead they had Kate Columbo get divorced and start living under her maiden name of Callahan.

The audience knew she couldn't be married to the great Lt. Columbo because he often mentioned his wife as his high school sweetheart, and there was at least a 20 year difference in the ages between Columbo and Kate Callahan. And from the description provided by her husband, Mrs. Columbo probably resembled Maureen Stapleton or (my choice) Sada Thompson.

However, that doesn't mean Kate Callahan couldn't have married a different Lt. Columbo in the LAPD. There's no law that says that last name couldn't have been borne by two different cops on the force.

There's also a photo of this Mrs. Columbo floating around on the web somewhere which shows her standing in front of the battered Peugeot owned by THE Lt. Columbo. (In our world, this was a publicity photo meant to sell the premise that she was married to the great detective.)

No Zonk in that photo. She just happened to have her pic snapped while she was standing near the vehicle. Nuff said.


Wednesday, February 7, 2007


As I expected, there has been some chatter in Blogland about this wacko astronaut who drove 900 miles in diapers (so she wouldn't have to stop to pee) from Texas to Florida to allegedly harm another woman who was her rival for the love of a shuttle pilot.

She was willing to sacrifice her marriage, her kids, her career, her reputation, all for some other man.

In the blogs I frequent, which naturally revolve around Television, most of the talk has been about the possibility of a TV movie dealing with the topic - For What It's Worth's Bryce Zabel, and then there's Tim Goodman in his magnificent Bastard Machine. (Both of them have links to the left.)

(David Hinckley of the New York Daily News downplays the idea that there will ever be a movie made about the distaff version of the "Far Out Space Nut", mainly because he claims the heyday of such movies are long gone. And he's probably right - the days of three Long Island Lolita films in a row will probably never be repeated.)

I don't know.... It could probably work on Lifetime or Oxygen or We.....

But here's my suggestion as to whom they should cast in the role:

Robin Weigert, who played Calamity Jane in 'Deadwood'. I think it's a great fit. She can play both sides of the before/after pics in the case.

But whether or not it ever becomes a TV movie, you KNOW it's going to inspire a story on 'Law & Order'!



Speaking of Emmitt Smith, I'm surprised he doesn't have more appearances by his televersion in Toobworld. Of course, my grip on Reality has never been that firm, so I've probably lost track of how much time has passed since he was on 'Dancing With The Stars'; perhaps there hasn't been enough development time from the end of the competition to the creation of a sitcom episode until now.

And if so, his appearance on 'How I Met Your Mother' this past Monday was just the tip of the iceberg.

Smith did appear in an episode of 'I Married A Princess' in 2005 ("Kids Take Over"), but that was a "reality" show starring Catherine Oxenberg and her husband Casper Van Diem.

But even before 'Dancing With The Stars', he would have fit in with several TV shows - 'Players', 'Listen Up!', and especially 'Arli$$'. How did that opportunity slip by?

We'll have to see what the future has in store for the not-so-tiny dancer.....


Tuesday, February 6, 2007


O'bviously I know that there was no way to predict what the weather would be like for Super Bowl weekend when Monday night's episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' was taped weeks ago. However, they could have at least done something to suggest that it was a wintry February day when Barney ran into Emmitt Smith on the streets of New York.

It looked like it may as well have been autumn since Smith was walking around with his jacket unzipped, no layers of clothing underneath, no gloves, no hat. No indication that it was at that point in the teens outside.

So in this respect, Toobworld once again had to diverge from the real world. Apparently the warmer temperatures due to the El Nino effect that had vacated the area a week or so earlier in the Trueniverse still held thrall in the TV Universe.

Either that, or Emmitt Smith keeps warm by dancing, baby, dancing!



On Monday night, Jerry Rice - one of the best wide receivers ever in pro football - knocked off two of the three required fictional appearances as himself in Toobworld in order to join the TV Crossover Hall of Fame. Two shows, two networks (although CBS owns half of the CW).

Rice showed up first on CBS' 'The Class', as an old friend of Yonk Allen. After they worked on a speech they were going to give together at some charity, Jerry was going to treat Yonk to dinner at a steak house - even if Yonk had to go the sissy route and order salmon because of his out of control cholesterol level.

(Does anybody else get the idea that they're setting up Yonk for a stroke, or even death, to clear the path for his wife Nicole with Duncan?)

Then Jerry Rice was on 'The Game' at 9:30 on the CW to offer moral support when the Sabers didn't make it to the playoffs. (At least that's what I imagine he did. At the time it aired, I was on my way to work and was taping 'Heroes' instead.)

(By the way, even though 'The Game' aired an hour after 'The Class' began, it takes place earlier on the Toobworld timeline. The events of 'The Game' are clearly set pre-Super Bowl, since they transpire soon after the playoffs from a few weeks ago. On the other hand, nothing about Monday's episode of 'The Class' indicates that it shouldn't be considered as taking place in the week following the Super Bowl.)

If the arbitration committee wanted to induct Jerry Rice into the Hall immediately, he does have enough credits for inclusion. However, he'd be stuck with a Roger Maris asterisk on his name because his third qualification for entry was in a dream sequence.

On an episode of 'Cosby' ("Superstar"), Griffin dreamt of a world in which teachers had the same respect (and even better, the same pay scale!) as accorded to celebrities and pro athletes.

Along with Jerry Rice, Griffin was visited in his dream by the televersions of Emeril Lagasse, Doug Flutie, Mary Hart, Bryant Gumbel, Tom Wolfe, Patrick Ewing, Ahmad Rashad, John Lithgow, and even little Elmo from 'Sesame Street'. Technically, even though they were seen on TV, they weren't really appearing in Toobworld but instead in someone's dream.

However, if Griffin was dreaming of them, then he had to be aware of their existence. So it's a roundabout way of saying they have fictional versions of themselves in Toobworld.

Appearing on two different shows in one night is pretty impressive, but it's only halfway to the record. For a member of the League of Themselves, Elizabeth Taylor holds the record with four shows in one night as herself:

'The Nanny'
'Can't Hurry Love'
'Murphy Brown'
'High Society'

It was all part of a marathon P.R. stunt to tout Ms. Taylor's Black Pearls fragrance. And even then, La Liz only appeared on screen in the first two episodes. For 'Murphy Brown' she literally phoned it in, as she was going to be interviewed live on 'FYI' but then bowed out. As for 'High Society'? All you saw of her was a "stunt hand" reaching in to pick up her purloined pearls.

For a fully fictional fellow of Toobworld, Luther Van Dam of 'Coach' holds the record with four shows in one night:

'Grace Under Fire'
'The Drew Carey Show'

He can't even claim a record for appearing on two networks in one night. That's held by the casts of 'Ally McBeal' on FOX and ABC's 'The Practice'.

But still, appearing on two shows in one night is nothing to sneeze at. So hat's off to you, Mr. Rice. Someday you'll be able to shout out:

"I'm going to Toobworld!"


"I felt like a rock star!"
Jerry Rice