Saturday, April 15, 2006


I don't kid myself into thinking that there is some altruistic reason behind TV crossovers. I know it's a gimmick to increase ratings for both shows involved.

That type of TV synergy is sometimes used to help promote productions in other media as well. The appearance of Robin Williams and Billy Crystal in a 'Friends' cameo was just to plug their movie "Father's Day" which was to be released that following week. Blythe Danner once blathered on and on about some musical that opened just the week before on 'Will & Grace', to the point that I wondered if somebody on the writing staff had invested in it.

And a recent episode of 'Family Guy' ("Sibling Rivalry", which aired on March 26th) gave FOX a chance to trumpet the March 31st release of "Ice Age 2: The Meltdown" in theatres nationwide.

In a quick, typical cutaway to a past event in Peter's life, a scene from the original movie released in 2002 was shown - this time with Peter added into the animation.

Cleveland: Maybe you should freeze some of your sperm.
Peter: I don't know Cleveland, that didn't work out that time I tried to freeze my nuts.
(The Scrat from "Ice Age" is trying to pry an acorn from the ice with Peter admonishing him atop the ice cliff.)
Peter: NO! NO! Those are MY NUTS! MY NUTS! Awww, you're just a hungry little fella aren't ya? But those are MY NUTS!
(The Scrat attacks Peter off-screen)
Peter: OW MY NUTS!!!

Like I said, it was just a quick plug for the upcoming sequel, but how to splain it away within the reality of Toobworld?

Because of the difference in animation, we could assume that Peter had crossed over into the Cineverse, that dimension similar to Toobworld - only for movies instead of TV shows. However, I've always believed animation is just a realistic rendition of the Tooniverse's "real life". So within that scene there would be no discernible difference between the cartoonish look of Peter Griffin and the computer-generated Scrat and the landscape from the movie.

It could be that the scene was taking place in the present, since we saw the Scrat thawed out from his glacial tomb millions of years later. So maybe he and Peter crossed paths in the Great White North where the Scrat had returned for more of those antediluvian acorns. (Why was Peter up there? Who cares? When has he ever needed a legit reason to leave Quahog, Rhode Island?)

Hrmmm.... I only saw "Ice Age" once. It could be Scrat thawed out back in the late 1800s just before the explosion of Krakatoa. I'm not sure what volcanic event that was supposed to be.

But could it have happened back in the actual Ice Age? Mebbe. It could be that Peter might have been fixing his toaster - a la Homer Simpson - and ended up getting blasted backwards in the Time-Space Continuum.

Why not? 'Family Guy' steals from 'The Simpsons' all the time, if you believe some of those websites out there!

Gotta go. Something is seeping into my raccoon wounds.......



Over in the UK, the TV network Sky One has had a long-running drama about football (soccer to the Yanks) called 'Dream Team'. Recently Sky One announced that after ten years of broadcast, the drama about the Harchester United football club will finally cease production.

Richard Woolfe, director of programming at Sky One said: "We're going to go out with a bang.

"We're extremely proud of this series and want it to finish on a high, but like all good things, the series has come to a natural end."

Over the years, the series has featured cameo apperances by real-world sports figures as their televersions, like former football manager Ron Atkinson, and footballers Matt Le Tissier, Les Ferdinand and Dwight Yorke.

Jane Hewland, managing director of Hewland International, which produces the series, said: "We have had a wonderful ride - but we too think it is over, we have had a ball and learnt so much."

Well, before production of the 10th series begins in July, allow me to impart a valuable lesson.....

Make some crossovers with the rest of Toobworld!

First up, I think there should be a big special episode in which Sky One and the BBC team up their footballin' series. (The BBC has 'Footballers' Wives', a steamy soap that is currently airing over here in the States on BBC-America.)

It would be like one of those DC/Marvel matches in which Spiderman and the Batman team up against the Joker and the Green Goblin. It's a natural!

But they should also think about bringing in some TV characters from American shows, even if they turn out to be nothing more than a few low-level celebrities appearing as their tele-versions. Even though it's not the same sport, how about Joe Namath or John Madden or Mike Ditka? They've made appearances as themselves on other TV shows which could help solidify the place of 'Dream Team' in the TV Universe. Namath's appearance on 'The Brady Bunch' alone would probably do the trick.

But there is one TV character who serves as the nexus for connections made by sports figures appearing as themselves, and who would fit naturally into an episode of 'Dream Team':


As played by Robert Wuhl, he'd be perfect for an episode of the footballer drama. The situation practically writes itself - hoping to expand his client base internationally, Michael Arliss flies to England in hopes of signing a few members of the Harchester United team before they hit it big.

It wouldn't even have to gum up the works for an entire episode; all that's needed is one scene of a meeting between Arliss and one of the main players in 'Dream Team'. How hard could that be?

As I mentioned above, production doesn't begin on the final season until July, so there's plenty of time for some high muckety-muck on the 'Dream Team' writing staff to stumble across this blog entry and realize this is a pretty cool idea.

But then again, this is a "Wish-Craft"......



When 'Kevin Hill' and 'Enterprise' were both on the air, I suggested that UPN should go for a wild crossover between both shows. The starship crew had to come back in Time to save the life of Kevin Hill's little ward, as she was the ancestor for Ensign Mayweather. Maybe the Xindi figured on altering the course of History by wiping out Travis' bloodline.

Well, now I have a similar scenario that played out in this past week's episode of 'The Sopranos'. And this time, it has a little more oomph to it so that it's more likely to occur.

When John Sacrimonti was granted his request to get out of jail for six hours to attend his daughter's wedding and reception, two federal agents were assigned to keep constant guard over him. One of them was a young African-American who was addressed as "Agent Mayweather".

So who's to say that in the next two hundred or so years, Agent Mayweather could well be the great-great-grandfather to the Nth generation of Travis Mayweather of the starship Enterprise?

You gonna wait around to find out?



Two musical groups appeared as themselves; each one in a seperate dimension of the TV Universe.

First up, the Foo Fighters. Or as Josh Lyman found himself corrected, just Foo Fighters. They got a two-part appearance in the TV dimension in which Jed Bartlet is the President of the United States. They didn't play a significant role in the proceedings of 'The West Wing' except that they were the "house band" at the hotel where the Santos campaigners and party faithful were gathered for an anticipated victory celebration. Congressman Santos had to interrupt their set at one point to make the announcement that his running mate, Leo McGarry, had died of a massive coronary.

There must have been a collective sigh of relief among the production staff that they couldn't include Leo McGarry in the opening scene from the first episode of this season, which was set three years after Jed Bartlet left office. Had they done so, it would have been a give-away - one way or t'other as to how the election turned out. So when tragedy struck the show with the death of Leo's portrayer, John Spencer, last December, they didn't have to find a way to work around him to keep Leo alive.

So, knock on wood, nothing should happen to Dave Grohl and the other Foo Fighters before the election night of 2008. Not that it would mean it couldn't be splained away - sometimes characters in one TV dimension live longer than their counterparts in the alternate Toobworlds. We saw that happen often in the Mirror Universe episodes of 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine'.

And it doesn't have to be anything as drastic as death. Who knows? By 2008, Foo Fighters may have disbanded in the Real World. But in that particular dimension, they'll still be performing together.

Come to think of it, let's hope nothing happens to Jon Bon Jovi before the 2008 campaign as well, since he was traveling with Santos in the final days of the campaign.

Over in the main Toobworld, Earth Prime-Time, the Dandy Warhols performed at the Trans-Alliance Center in Chicago "recently", as seen in the latest (perhaps last, but I hope not) episode of 'The Loop'. After the concert, Sam and Piper were invited to go to the party where they met lead singer Courtney Taylor-Taylor. Courtney immediately put the moves on a very vulnerable Piper (Her boyfriend had broken up with her... yet again.), much to Sam's consternation.

Luckily for Sam, Piper decided to go home rather than accept Courtney's invitation to join him in a "fourgy" (which she didn't know the meaning of. Duh!)

Courtney Tayler-Taylor has also appeared this season in an episode of 'Veronica Mars', where he sang at a local club's karaoke night in Neptune, California. Although he was addressed as "Courtney", it's not certain whether or not he was appearing as himself. It could be that he was just slumming on an off-night for the band, which is the way I'll be spinning it until a better splainin comes along....

After all, it makes for a televersion crossover between the two shows and I'm not about to pass one of those up!


Friday, April 14, 2006


It's been five days since the election was called in 'The West Wing' TV dimension. (Sorry, folks. You're still stuck with the same guy in Earth Prime-Time as you are in Earth Prime.)

I haven't held off from writing about it to spare those viewers who "procrasTiVo". Bleep them!

I mean, I can understand saving up some shows on tape or TiVo that don't matter in the long run - non-sweeps sitcom episodes, reality shows, anything with Ron Pallillo in it - but shows like 'The West Wing', in which it all came down to a seminal moment like the election of the next President? The phrase "appointment television" was created for shows like this!

You find the time to watch it as soon as possible and don't crimp the lifestyles of those of us who want to talk about the next day at work. We can't wait for you to get around to it sometime on Tuesday - if everything else is a repeat... maybe. Bleep that!

As for me, I was sleeping when it aired, but I watched my tape as soon as I got home from work in the morning. That should be the longest stretch between the time it aired and when you finally watch it.

But that's just me. I'm just glad this rant gave me the opportunity to flaunt my newly coined word, "procrasTiVo".

Anyway, that should be enough spoiler space.

According to an article in the New York Times on Monday, the writers originally were going to have Senator Vinick win the election. This would have led to several episodes dealing with the transition as each character made way for the new team. (It's only my suspicion, but I bet Kate Harper would have been one character to end up staying on board with the Vinick administration over the four years that would have played out invisible to us at home.)

This is the ending I wanted, and I'm a life-long Democrat of moderate to liberal leanings. Vinick was a man I would have felt comfortable in supporting (except for the tax cuts); and as a character portrayed by Alan Alda, I found him far more interesting than Jimmy Smits' Congressman Matt Santos.

But as a televisiologist, I would have also wanted a Vinick presidency. Making that transition from a somewhat liberal Democratic administration to a more moderate Republican one held the promise of an ending for the series that could stand proudly in comparison with the finale of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show'.

But on December 16th, 2005, all such plans and promise went out the window with the death of John Spencer.

As Leo McGarry, Spencer was always in the thick of things in the various strands of the show's plot. As Chief of Staff for the Bartlet administration, he had to be. Only a heart attack could knock him out of his place at center stage, but even that couldn't keep him on the sidelines for long. Soon he was right back in the game as the Democratic nominee for the Vice Presidency.

I don't think there was ever any question that the character of Leo McGarry had to die on the show, mirroring the fate of the actor who portrayed him. With some other shows, I think it could be argued that the character didn't necessarily have to die; they could have just moved away. (I still think this is what they should have done for Bill McNeill on 'NewsRadio'. Why can't we indulge the illusion that he lives on in Toobworld unlike Phil Hartman, who played him in the Real World?)

With Leo, that could never be an option. Win or lose, the audience would have demanded the chance to see how the election had affected him.

But there has been some debate over whether or not he had to die on Election Night. Not that it was unexpected - I think everybody knows that if John Wells is your executive producer, sooner or later somebody's going to have a helicopter drop on their head.

Apparently, if he had passed away more than five days before the election, the rules say that he could be replaced on the ballot. Anything past that date, and he has to remain as Santos' running mate. So why not go all the way for the dramatic flourish by having it happen in the closing hours of the election? It's a drama! I don't see people arguing this point when it comes to events that transpire on '24'!

But one thing is for sure - at least to me.... The death of Spencer, and thus the death of Leo, meant that Santos had to win the election. Had he lost, then Leo's presence would no longer be felt on the show; there would be no reason to even mention him again (at least after the obligatory funeral episode, of course).

But now that Santos has won the election, he must search for a candidate to be offered up as Leo's replacement. Various options will probably be considered within the show, and I would not be surprised if Leo was invoked in comparison to the candidates for the job. And then we can mourn Leo anew as a new Veep is finally chosen; and we get to see that person assume that role with some obvious tip of the hat to the man who should have been occupying that office.

What bugged me about that Times article was that Lawrence O'Donnell, one of the show's executive producers, claimed that Santos was chosen to win after the death of Spencer, because the writers didn't think the audience could handle the double loss of the election as well as the man who was the running mate.

Boo hoo! As a viewer, that sentiment insulted me. After all we've seen in the TV Universe, why should we need to be sheltered from that scenario? If Walt Disney thought that way, Davy Crockett would never have been killed off after three episodes.

(Of course, had Disney known how "Davy Crockett" would blast off as a cultural phenomenon, maybe he would have kept him alive for a long long time - at least until the sale of coonskin caps began to subside.)

Okay, so maybe there are a couple of dimbulb meat-heads out there who wouldn't have been able to take it - look at how some viewers objected to Wild Bill Hickock being killed off in the fourth episode of 'Deadwood', even though it was following historical record! They wanted him to become the Energizer Bunny and keep going and going and going and -#

Hell, you do that and you might has well have Louie Anderson saddle up to play his sidekick Jingles!

But the only reason for having Santos win the election should be the mileage they can now get out of the process to find the new Veep. That will provide more drama than the Vinick transition would have. And just because Santos won, that doesn't mean there wouldn't still be a sweep of the former characters on the show to make room for a fresh team to take over. Bram as the new press secretary, for example - the guy is telegenic and would make a great face for the Santos administration.

So I think this is the only way the show could have gone under the conditions forced upon them by John Spencer's death. And it will serve as a fitting tribute to the actor as well as for making a memorable finale.

By the way, for more on the ramifications of this episode of 'The West Wing', check out Brent McKee's post at "I Am A Child Of Television". It's great reading!


"When I was in third grade, there was a kid running for office.
His slogan was, 'Vote for me and I'll show you my wee-wee'.
He won by a landslide
Dorothy Zbornak
'The Golden Girls'

Thursday, April 13, 2006


During one of the flashbacks in last night's episode of 'Lost' ("S.O.S."), Rose and Bernard were having dinner in a restaurant with a spectacular view of Niagara Falls.

It was the only scene during the flashbacks that was set near that natural wonder. (Presumably they live in the Bronx.)

But wouldn't it have been great for Toobworld if we followed them in that flashback after dinner, as they strolled along through the tourist center? Eventually they might have entered that souvenir shop called 'Wonderfalls', which "coincidentally" has a TV show named after it.

It's not like they only make connections between their own characters during those flashbacks. In one from last season, Charlie's girl-friend mentioned the paper company in Slough, a clear reference to the British version of 'The Office'.

The backgrounds for the characters on 'Lost' are so diverse, that plenty of links could be made to other TV shows via the flashbacks for each of them. In fact, I have another one in mind, once again courtesy of Charlie Pace.....

While in New York to promote their first Driveshaft album, Charlie is at an industry party where he is introduced to Hesh Rabkin as played by Jerry Adler in 'The Sopranos'. It would just be a quick meet and greet, and that's all that would be needed to make a legit crossover between 'The Sopranos' and 'Lost'.

As for Bernard and Rose back in Niagara, let's say they did go into 'Wonderfalls' after dinner, unseen by the viewing audience at home. What if they bought one of those talking tchochkes that often plagued Jaye.... And then brought it with them on the plane?

Would the spiritual, living power of that knick-knack have been nullified by the energies of the island? Or would it have been amplified? (I don't believe that the talking souvenirs were only in Jaye's mind.)

And is it possible we've seen this tchochke already on 'Lost'? We know it can't be that toy airplane. That belonged to Kate and it was kept in the Marshal's luggage. Maybe Sawyer already found it and is hoarding it with all the other stuff in his secret stash.

We'll have to see what Rose has hidden away in her purse..........



On this week's episode of 'Scrubs', during one of the exchanges in the continuing battle of retorts between Dr. Cox and Dr. Kelso, Dr. Kelso sneered:

"Oh, Perry, you're so edgy and cantankerous. You're like House without the limp."

'House' is the medical show on FOX starring Hugh Laurie as Greg House, a brilliant, Sherlockian-styled diagnostician. It was a big move by the writers to acknowledge the show, as it is the chief competitor in the same timeslot occupied by 'Scrubs'.

But 'House' is also in the same TV universe as 'Scrubs', so they presented us with quite a big "Zonk!".

The discrepancy is only big in its subject matter, though, because it presents no real challenge to overcome.

Even though 'House' takes place in Princeton, New Jersey, and the Sacred Heart Hospital of 'Scrubs' is probably in California (There has to be a Sea World nearby.), Drs. Cox and Kelso probably know of Dr. House, if they don't actually know him personally. The reputation of Dr. House would be well-known within the medical community all across the nation. I'm not sure if he even bothers to follow the practice of "publish or perish", but his work must have been written about in various medical journals in the past.

And it's possible that Cox and Kelso may have met House at some medical convention at some point. (As another possibility, Dr. Cox may have gone to med school with either Dr. House or his friend, Dr. Wilson.) If so, they probably talked with him long enough for them both to get a grasp of House's barbed and withering style of conversation. So that when Kelso mentioned House, Cox understood the reference without need for further splainin.

That way, we were spared hearing Dr. Kelso ruin my splainin by calling 'House' a TV show.

Yeah, I can see how that would play out: "You're like that guy on the TV show that's crushing our nards in the ratings!"


Monday, April 10, 2006


Don't you think that if somebody was going to be honored for fifty years of service to her community, then the ceremony would be held in that same community? It would have been a p.r. disaster for the local Chamber of Commerce to have such a celebration held out of town.

Well, it's a good thing that such a gaffe happened, because otherwise there wouldn't have been much of a Big Crossover for this week!


As part of the real-world celebration of the fiftieth anniversary for 'As The World Turns', a celebration of Oakdale matriarch Nancy Hughes' years of service to the Women's Service League gave her fellow grande dames a chance to indulge in flashbacks to great moments in the soap opera's past.

This all happened on Monday, April 3rd, the day after the official date of the show's golden anniversary. In the storyline, Lucinda rented a small luxury bus to take Nancy and Lucinda and five of the most famous women of Oakdale to this out-of-town ceremony. The other five passengers were Kim, Lisa, Susan, Emma, and Barbara.

The trip didn't begin well - Susan was late and when she showed up she let it spill that Paul and Emily got married in jail, which didn't sit at all well with Barbara.

"This is going to be a long ride," Nancy sighed. Her prediction was off, though. It turned out that the return trip was the "highlight".

At the tribute dinner, the six other Ladies Who Lunch spoke about Nancy's loyalty and devotion to friends, family and community. This gave Nancy a chance to go into flashback mode, to memories of her family, including Christmases, chats in the kitchen and times with her son Bob.

Because she found out that her son got married in a jail, Barbara wanted to rush home. So she demanded that the driver to take a shortcut through the woods where they promptly got lost. Since she ordered the luxury bus, Lucinda tried to force the driver to turn around, but Barbara grabbed the wheel and the bus crashed.

While the driver scrambled off to find help, the Magnificent Seven had plenty of time to sit around the campfire and swap plenty more flashbacks, mostly about how all of them - except Nancy! - have been in love with John Dixon at one time or another. And along with the flashbacks there was an attack by a bear, another crash with the bus, Lucinda pinned under the wreckage, and finally the bus exploding in a fireball.

Good times.

Emma finally found a truck with the keys in it and they headed home.

So what was the big deal for the Crossover of the Week?

The Women's Service League luncheon honoring Nancy Hughes was held in Springfield, the town where sister soap opera 'Guiding Light' takes place. (I forgot to tape the episode that day, so I don't know if any of the women from that show appeared at the luncheon - like Kim Zimmer's character. But the location is enough; 'twill serve.)

There was a nice tough at the end of the episode, when Don Hastings (who plays Bob) intoned, "Thank you for watching for 50 years; we couldn't do it without you."

And I couldn't have supplied the Crossover of the Week without them.

Thank you, ladies!


"It seems like a lifetime, and like no time at all."
Nancy Hughes
'As The World Turns'

Sunday, April 9, 2006


Shakespeare would have called them "Skimble Skamble Stuff". Bob Steele nicknamed them "Tiddly Winks". For Toobworld purposes, these little items are all part of the "Borgasmord Collective".

First up:

Today is Hugh Hefner's 80th birthday. He claims 80 is the new 40, and he's got the three blonde girl-friends to prove it!

Someday Hef will be inducted into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame for all of his many appearances in TV shows as himself. Just like Jack Benny, he has created this character and actually lives it 24-7; he's been living it for nearly the last fifty years, and I DO call that living!

His most recent appearances as the fictionalized televersion of Hef have been in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and 'Entourage', but he's also been in such varied programs as the private eye series 'Buddy Faro' and the classic sitcom 'The Odd Couple'. And he's also hosted his own series - 'Playboy After Dark' - as well as hosted an episode of 'Saturday Night Live'.

You know, if I was Hefner, I'd skip the celebrations with the three blonde girl-friends. "I'm frakkin' eighty years old!" I'd crow. "I can have you three bimbos any day of the week! I want something special! Bring me a Korean girl with red pubic hair! And who's missing a limb!"

I think a voice-over by Billy Crudup would work nicely at the end: "Getting what you really want for your 80th birthday.... Priceless."

Happy b'day, Hef!

The official website for 'Lost' is called "The Fuselage", sometimes known as "The 'Lage".

After this week's episode aired, "lostgirl40" posted the following question:

(Thu Apr 6 03:45:03 2006)
"Ok, what about the comment Sawyer made to Kate about going to find Timmy (maybe not the right name) down the well? What in the world does that mean?"

That, my little Lostaway, is known here in Toobworld Central as a "Zonk!". It's what happens when one TV show makes a reference to another TV show as a TV show, even though both should be existing in the same dimension.

Specifically, Sawyer was cracking wise about the TV show 'Lassie', in which Lassie would always go running for help because Timmy had mired himself in some predicament. If he wasn't falling down a well, he was trapped in a cave by coyotes. And in a great spoof of the show which was done in a lottery commercial (I think), Timmy even fell in with circus folk.

On 'Lost', Sawyer is the worst when it comes to destroying the illusion that all is connected in the TV Universe. When it comes to pop culture references in the nicknames he dispenses, Sawyer usually depends on a person's physical/ethnic attributes - "Freckles" for Kate, "Mamacita" for Claire, "Limey Runt" for Charlie, "DeepDish" for Hurley, "Sticks" for Shannon, and "Captain Falafel" for Sayid.

But every so often he Zonk!s away with an apt appellation, like "Tattoo" for Walt, or "Dr. Quinn" and "Hoss" for Jack. I suppose the title of "Dr. Do-Right" for Jack counts as well, if it was inspired by the cartoon character of Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties.

At times Sawyer has also drawn from the movies, calling Jin "Mr. Miyagi" after Pat Morita's character in "The Karate Kid"; or using "Short Round" on Walt, which came from the second Indiana Jones movie ("The Temple Of Doom").

Technically, the "Short Round" sobriquet could also be considered part of the TV Universe, thanks to 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'. (But I'm not sure about 'Mr. Miyagi'.)

And his most constant epithets happened while he was teamed up in the raft project with Michael and Jin, referring to them as "Han and Chewie".

Of course, this is a tip of the hat to the dynamic duo from the first three, original 'Star Wars' films. But as they also exist in Toobworld, thanks to George Lucas' personal nightmare known as "The Star Wars Holiday Special", the couplet is also a Zonk!.

I'm not particularly worried about such discrepancies, when it comes to 'Lost' - not even when Boone made mention of the fate of the "red shirts" on 'Star Trek'. That's because I need to find out the final mystery behind this "Mysterious Island" before I can make a proper ruling. For all I know, the island is giving them all the power to be tele-cognizant (the ability to recognize one is living inside a TV show).

from writer/producer Ken Levine:

Phyllis Coates or Noel Neill? Who was the best Lois Lane? For fifty years now people have been debating this issue. Very sad people.

Personally, I’d have to go with Noel. The deciding factor for any true fan is which one would you like to see kidnapped in your basement? I think Phyllis would scream and threaten that Superman will get me. Noel would compliment me on the new fake wood paneling."

This argument really doesn't matter to the true televisiologists (who are also very sad people), in the same way it doesn't matter about who was the better Darrin, Dick York or Dick Sargent. In the end, both of them are the same character. But for one reason or another, their physical appearances have been changed within the show's inner reality.

Darrin's metamorphosis was triggered by a sexually bored wife who also happened to be a witch. As for Lois Lane, it must have happened between episodes, in a story we never saw broadcast on 'The Adventures of Superman'. Perhaps, instead of the countless petty crooks he faced in Metropolis week after week, Superman finally had to fight against Mr. Mxyzptlk - only we didn't get to watch it.

Using the powers he controls from the 19th Dimension, Dimension Z, Mr. Mxyzptlk probably transformed Lois Lane's features just to play with Superman's head. By the time we saw the results of the transformation, the imp had been banished back to his homeworld by being tricked into saying his name backwards, and everybody in Metropolis had become accustomed to seeing Miss Lane with her new features.

from Bill at "So Quoted":

"How 'Lost' will end: They'll all wake up in Bob Newhart's bed when Bobby walk's out of the shower holding a snowglobe. If none of that makes any sense then you're too young to be reading this OR you don't watch enough TV."

This of course is ludicrous. No matter how many characters get bumped off, there will always be too many survivors by the end of 'Lost'. So there's no way they could all fit into the bed of Dr. Hartley.

Oh, wait. Bill said "Bob Newhart's bed". Well, that's different. Never mind.

But he was right about one thing - if you didn't understand that, you don't watch enough TV, and what the bleep are you doing here?

Gene Pitney, the singer and songwriter known for 1960s hits such as "Town Without Pity" and "24 Hours from Tulsa," was found dead at the Hilton Hotel in Cardiff, Wales.

There was no immediate word on the cause of death for the 65 year old singer. South Wales police said that the death was not being treated as suspicious.

But just in case, maybe the South Wales police should call in the 'Torchwood' team to investigate, just to make sure.......

This is from a FOX press release from a few years ago:

For ten years, 'A Minute with Stan Hooper' has closed each episode of 'Newsline', America's highest rated newsmagazine. In his 'Minute' segments, Stan Hooper (Norm MacDonald) has been telling real stories of real people that make up the fabric of America.

But now Stan is making his 'Minute' more honest. He no longer wants to comment on life from a studio in midtown Manhattan. He wants to live in the vanishing America he has been talking about for a decade - a place where ordinary people enjoy life's simple pleasures, where people have never heard of cappuccino. So, Stan and his wife Molly are moving to Waterford Falls, Wisconsin. Stan thinks this small town they passed through on their honeymoon 15 years ago is the embodiment of the old-fashioned values and idyllic lifestyle he has been championing in his "Minute" reports."

As it turned out, Waterford Falls, Wisconsin, was nothing like a Norman Rockwell painting. Instead, it was one of those off-beat little communities you find in TV shows, like Cicely, Alaska, and Fernwood, Ohio, and Dr. Hartley's dream world of Stratford, Vermont.

And don't forget the champeen of them all - Hooterville!

Norm MacDonald's character of Stan Hooper exists in another TV dimension as well as in Earth Prime-Time. He's to be found in the world of sketch comedy, where musical comedy variety shows hold sway. And his life there... eh, it's not that great.

On the November 11th, 1995 edition of 'Saturday Night Live', which was hosted by Quentin Tarantino, Stan Hooper was a former bum who made a fortune as the reigning champ on a TV game show called 'Clara Turley's Bible Challenge'. What his holier than thou rival contestants and the show's host didn't realize was that he was lying and cheating to win....

Even though Stan's next appearance was just a few months later, on February 26, 1996, in an episode hosted by super-model Elle MacPherson, it was set at least five years after his last time on the show.

Stan had been in a coma for five years. He used to live in his parents' basement and had a really crappy, dull job. When he found out that he was married, at first he was ecstatic because he thought the beautiful and sexy Monique was his wife.

Turns out she was his sister. His wife Gwendolyn was a frumpy, frazzle-haired, haggard little troll in a ratty house-coat.

According to the crawl over the screen, the experience motivated Stan to become a Congressman where he fought for legislation to make it okay for coma victims to have sex with their sisters.

On the way to fulfilling that goal, Stan took a job as a sketch artist. But as he admitted on 'Seattle Today' during the April 13, 1996, edition of 'Saturday Night Live', he wasn't very good at it.......

It's been ten years since these sketches first appeared on 'Saturday Night Live'. But I only recognized their significance last night at work, when I caught one on an old repeat while I was in the lunch room. Should Norm MacDonald ever appear in some other show using the name of "Stan Hooper" for his character, I'd say he would qualify to join the TV Crossover Hall of Fame - on the Birthday Honors list, of course. Finally.....

Today's topic: Why I prefer the character to the actor.....

LeBlanc-ity Blank




Seen on a subway poster for the Polytechnic University:

"I connect the stuff between the dots."

That's what I do here at Inner Toob!