Saturday, December 17, 2016


My second favorite TV murder mystery series is 'Burke's Law'.  When it was on during the afternoons in syndication when I was a teenager, I used to O'Bsess over figuring out before Captain Burke as to who the killer was.  I thought I had it pegged as being the one suspect who got three scenes or more during the episode.  But having watched the DVD boxed sets in my dotage, I see I was wrong with that theory.  (And it wasn't very good detective work either.)

At any rate, for today's Saturday Comics, here are some images from the 'Burke's Law' of the Comic Book Universe.  

Gotta get a catchy name for that world....


The character of Amos Burke is dead now in Toobworld, like the actor who played him.  I wish there was another show on the air like it.....


Friday, December 16, 2016


From the Guardian:

ER Braithwaite, the Guyanese author of "To Sir, With Love", has died at his home in Maryland at the age of 104.

He took a job as a teacher at St George-in-the-East school in London’s East End, which was recovering from the battering it had taken during the war. This experience formed the basis of his autobiographical novel "To Sir With Love", his 1959 book later adapted into a film of the same name starring Sidney Poitier.

That movie belongs in two different fictional universes.  O'Bviously, the Cineverse is the main one.  But in 1996, Poitier returned to the role for a TV movie.  So both movies co-exist in a dimension called the Borderlands, where movies and television can be joined together without being part of the main TV dimension of Earth Prime-Time.

In the past I have had no problem with just absconding with a movie, snatching it right out of the Cineverse and claiming it for the Toobworld Dynamic - "Maverick", "Batman" - 1966, and the "Star Trek" franchise (at least until Spock entered the black hole.) I even "stole" a Rosalind Russell movie ("The Velvet Touch") which had no real connection to television, but the main detective (Sidney Greenstreet's Captain Danbury) may have been a mentor to Columbo when he was just starting out as a NYC patrolman.  (At the very least, Danbury might have taught Columbo's mentor Sgt. Gilhoolie everything he knows.) 

But in this case, I can't just steal the 1967 movie and claim it's part of Toobworld.  That's because the character of Mark Thackeray already exists in Earth Prime-Time, thanks to a production from 1974 starring Hari Rhodes.

From the IMDb:
A black foreign-exchange teacher must adapt his lesson plans in order to instruct the lower-middle class London students who are his pupils.

Maybe someday Mark Thackeray might make it into the Television Crossover Hall of Fame as a Multiversal Honors.  But if that does happen, you'll know I was grasping for candidates....


Thursday, December 15, 2016


From Entertainment Weekly:

Veteran character actor Bernard Fox, known for his memorable roles on the classic TV series 'Hogan’s Heroes' and 'Bewitched', died Wednesday at the age of 89.

The Welsh actor, most famous for portraying Dr. Bombay on 'Bewitched' and its spin-off, 'Tabitha', died of heart failure at Valley Presbyterian Hospital in Van Nuys, California, publicist Harlan Bollconfirmed to EW.

Fox was enlisted for what was perhaps his most famous role: Dr. Bombay, the witch doctor on 'Bewitched'. It’s a character that he would portray throughout the show’s run and then revive on the 1977 spin-off 'Tabitha', as well as the NBC soap opera 'Passions' in 1999.

“Dr. Bombay was an outrageous character,” Fox told a Bewitched fan site in 1998. “If I’d just gone for an ordinary doctor, you wouldn’t have heard any more about it. But because I made him such a colorful character, that’s why they wanted him back; he was easy to write for. They came up with the idea of him coming from different parts of the world all the time, and in different costumes; that was their idea. The puns, I came up with, and in those days, they let you do that.”

Dr. Bombay was inducted into the freshman class of the Television Crossover Hall of Fame in October of 1999.  Not only did he play the role in 19 episodes of 'Bewitched'.  A decade later, he showed up twice in the life of 'Tabitha' Stephens out in San Francisco.  Two decades after that, he appeared again in the whacked-out soap opera 'Passions' for another two appearances.

- Sam's Witchcraft Blows a Fuse (1972)
- Samantha Is Earthbound (1972)
- A Plague on Maurice and Samantha (1971)
- Samantha's Psychic Slip (1971)
- Mixed Doubles (1971)
- Samantha's Magic Potion (1970)
- Make Love Not Hate (1970)
- Okay, Who's the Wise Witch? (1970)
- Just a Kid Again (1970)
- Super Arthur (1970)
- Samantha's Lost Weekend (1970)
- Samantha's Curious Cravings (1969)
- Samantha, the Bard (1969)
- Weep No More My Willow (1968)
- Allergic to Macedonian Dodo Birds (1967)
- Out of Sync, Out of Mind (1967)
- No Zip in My Zap (1967)
- There's Gold in Them Thar Pills (1967) 

- Tabitha's Party (1978)
- Tabitha's Weighty Problem (1977)

- Episode #1.140 (2000)
- Episode #1.55 (1999) 

I suppose I could even make the argument that Fox's appearance as a "Wish Doctor" named Dr. Jinga-Janga in an episode of 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse' could have been Dr. Bombay as well.  

'Pee-wee's Playhouse'
- Sick? Did Somebody Say Sick? (1989) 

Jambi the Genie isn't feeling so good. So Pee-wee calls a wish doctor. When Dr. Jinga-Janga arrives, he diagnoses that Jambi is suffering from Mecca Lecca Hinyitis.

The reason for the name change?  If he really was Dr. Bombay, maybe he was using an alias to treat the genie because there is an age-old rivalry between witches and genies.

Maybe that's why we never saw Jeannie Nelson meet Samantha Stephens.....

As far as I'm concerned, Dr. Bombay is still alive in Toobworld.  This is one of those times where the character will outlive their portrayer.  And for a very long time at that since warlocks are nearly immortal.  

But eventually we could claim that Bombay has passed away - or at least he might have transformed himself into an "inanimate" object.  According to 'Bewitched' lore, when the powers of a witch or warlock begin to fade, they are required to transform themselves into something that will still prove useful.  We have seen it happen before on that show, when a warlock turned himself into an antique bed-warmer.

One day we may see a magical object in some other show which seems to have a life of its own.  There have been a few - the houseful of electric devices in Bartlett Finchley's house in the 'Twilight Zone' episode "A Thing About Machines".  But that happened in the Toobworld timeline in 1960, before we even got to meet the flesh and blood Bombay.  Another option could have been the sword that was passing itself off as Excalibur in the collection of the Metropolitan Library.  But the real Excalibur was in storage at 'Warehouse 13'.  It's the Toobworld splainin that the other Excalibur held by 'The Librarians' was a warlock, and an old friend of Samantha's father Maurice, by the name of Caliburn Exeter.  (Seen below, although not named, in the episode "My Grandson The Warlock".)

Someday there may be a book of magic, perhaps of potions, which shows up in an episode of 'The Librarians'; perhaps one has already been seen in 'Supernatural'.   The book seems to have a life of its own, similar to that flying book seen in the opening credits for 'Amazing Stories'.  And if so, we can make the claim that it could be Dr. Bombay continuing his "life" in a useful manner....

If not that, then perhaps a wardrobe.  Dr. Bombay always did have so many interesting costumes on the show!

But if not, then he's still alive out there in the world of the Toob and he is immortalized - at least for me - in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

Good night and may God bless.....

"We are quicksilver, a fleeting shadow, a distant sound... 
Our home has no boundaries beyond which we cannot pass. 
We live in music, in a flash of color... 
We live on the wind and in the sparkle of a star."

Wednesday, December 14, 2016


And so after the high of inducting Kirk Douglas into the Television Crossover Hall of Fame as himself in tribute of his 100th birthday - and while he was still alive - Toobworld Central is back to inducting a member of the League of Themselves as a memorial.....

From the LA Times:

Alan Thicke, an actor best-known for helping set a template for parenting ideals in the ’80s sitcom “Growing Pains,” has died. He was 69.

His death was confirmed with the Times on Tuesday evening by the publicist of his son, pop-soul singer Robin Thicke. The Times spoke with Robin Thicke on Tuesday evening.  He confirmed that Thicke suffered a heart attack while playing hockey with his son Carter, and that one of the last things he said was a compliment to his son on a nice shot.

In putting together this tribute, I was actually shocked to see how many times Mr. Thicke actually played his fictional televersion in TV shows set in the main Toobworld (as well as a couple in other TV dimensions, like the Tooniverse.)  I was never a fan of 'Growing Pains', but his character of Jason Seaver is now on the fast track for inclusion in the Hall of Fame next year.  (Personally, my favorite Alan Thicke character was talk show host Dennis Dupree in 'Hope & Gloria'.)

Herewith are most of the credits (with summaries from the IMDb) which made Alan Thicke eligible for membership as himself:

'Hangin' with Mr. Cooper'
- The Presentation (1992) 

Mark is hired as a substitute teacher, but his roommate Robin must teach him how to control his students. Alan Thicke guest stars.

O'BSERVATION: The odd thing is that Mark Cooper knew Jason Seaver.  How come he didn't notice the resemblance between Seaver and Thicke'

  • "Lamb Chop's Chanukah and Passover Surprise"
  • "Lamb Chop's Special Chanukah"
  • "Lamb Chop and the Haunted Studio"

O'BSERVATION: In three different TV specials, Thicke got the chance to act with two other members of the Hall of Fame - Lamb Chop and Shari Lewis.  (He's seen here with Shari Lewis and Charley Horse.)

'Just Shoot Me!'
- The Boys in the Band (2002) 

Alan Thicke brings out Jack's competitive side. Maya gets upset when Jack drags her into it.

- Joey and the Poker' 

Alex teaches Joey fake poker rules to keep him away from a girl. Joey then plays along those rules at "Celebrity Poker Showdown", and gets into trouble.

O'BSERVATION: Also playing themselves in the tournament:
  • Dave Foley
  • Phil Gordon
  • Louie Anderson
  • Coolio
  • Cindy Margolis
'Sex, Love & Secrets' 
A drama chronicling the lives of twentysomethings in the hip L.A. neighborhood of Silverlake.
- Protection (2005) ... Sitcom Dad

O'BSERVATION: My thinking is this - Alan Thicke in the real world was an actor (among other talents, like writing theme songs), so shouldn't his televersion be as well?  He certainly was an actor when appearing with Robin Sparkles in her music video and in her TV series.  Therefore, I think it's safe to assume this "Sitcom Dad" was played by Alan Thicke.

"Nobody's Watching" (TV Movie)
Two best friends challenge the WB to let them create a new sitcom - they're surprised when they're left to live on a sound stage and have their every move recorded while working on the project.   It is revealed that famous television fathers, such as Uncle Phil from 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air', were Will's father figures growing up; when he first meets Alan Thicke, who played the father on 'Growing Pains', he accidentally calls him 'Dad'. ('Nobody's Watching' is a US television program that was never broadcast. It originated with and was written by the creator of Scrubs, Bill Lawrence, as well as Neil Goldman and Garrett Donovan, writers for Scrubs and Family Guy.)

''Til Death'
- Circumdecision (2008) 

Eddie tries to talk Kenny out of getting circumcised because it would mean that he has to go a musical theatre series with Joy if he does.

O'BSERVATION: I'm assuming that Alan Thicke was appearing in that musical theater presentation.

'Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!'
- Snow (2009) 
... Dr. Alan Thicke

- Stealing Alan Thicke (2009) 

David Faustino plays himself as a struggling actor in this very entertaining web series. Great cameos and several appearances by former 'Married with Children' cast members.

Hot Package
- Pilot (2013)

A deconstruction of entertainment news shows set in a parallel universe. Host Derrick Beckles and co-hosts Anastasia Roark and Pat O'Brien give you the latest entertainment news and celebrity gossip. In reality though, all of their information is sourced from found footage taken from obscure TV shows and movies, old videotapes and DVDs, the Internet, and other places. The show also features in-depth interviews with little-known people in the entertainment industry. [The series was developed as a delivery system for obscure film and television clips. Derrick decided to use an entertainment news show as the framework.]

'How I Met Your Mother'
- Sandcastles in the Sand (2008) 
Barney makes it his mission to find Robin Sparkles' second music video which Robin had never mentioned previously even existed.

- The Rough Patch (2009)

After Barney and Robin hit a rough patch in their relationship, Lily devises the perfect plan to break them up, calling in help from Robin's famous friend, Alan Thicke.

- Glitter (2010)

Just before Barney turns off the 'Space Teens' video the first time, the math problems Alan Thicke poses is 23 times 3. The answer, of course, is 69, further fueling the joke that 'Space Teens' is porn.

- P.S. I Love You (2013)
Robin's past as a Canadian pop star is revisited when Barney uncovers the lost episode of a music documentary series in which she was featured as Robin Sparkles.
User Review:
Another episode about Robin Sparkles! Love those. And it is a good story. Of course I especially liked Barney getting obsessed about Robin's teenage obsession and travel to Canada. All those Tim Horton's and doughnuts and "aboots" are wonderful. And I like how it went, with Barney fighting Alan Thicke. That fighting scene in the hall with Alan Thicke holding Barney down in the hall while eating a doughnut is just priceless.

- The Rehearsal Dinner (2013)

'The Stanley Dynamic' (2014)
- The Stanley Band
- The Stanley Grown Up
Twin brothers Larry and Luke Stanley are like any other twins you might know, except one twist - Luke is an animated cartoon.

O'BSERVATION: I think this may belong in a Borderland, where an alt. Toobworld is blended with the Tooniverse.

'The Jack and Triumph Show'

Jack McBrayer and Triumph are down on their luck and move in as room mates.
- The Commercial (2015)
UNCENSORED. Triumph tricks Jack into filming a commercial in Irkutsk, Siberia - a foreign land where "Triumph's Boy" is still wildly popular.

O'BSERVATION: Because of this role, if not others, it has to be accepted that Alan Thicke portrayed Justin Seaver's life in the televersion of 'Growing Pains'.  Both the TV series and the 2000 TV reunion movie were mentioned.  (Thicke himself mentioned "The Growing Pains Movie".)

- Jimmy's 50th, Again (2016) 

When Jimmy has trouble admitting that he's 51, he throws himself a second 50th birthday party. The party triggers flashbacks of where he was a year ago, showing Jimmy what a difference his family has made in his life.
'This Is Us'
- Pilot (2016) 

The stories of different people and their connection to each other: A young expectant couple, an overweight woman finally dealing with her problem, a successful businessman, and a disillusioned Hollywood actor.  

O'BSERVATION: That would be Kevin, with the "model good looks", who gets a lucrative lead role in a mindless sitcom called "Man-ny".  The role often requires him to be shirtless.  I expect this is where Alan Thicke was involved.

Finally, Alan Thicke also made an appearance in the Tooniverse:

'American Dad!'
- Permanent Record Wrecker (2014)

Thicke was only 3 x 23 years old; he could have expected to have had many more years ahead of him in which to play not only other TV characters but to also spoof his own image some more.  But it wasn't in the script, I guess.

Good night and may God bless...... 

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


"Come on, eat something!  Here, have some soup. 
It's good; here, have some. 
Now, how are you going to be strong? Come on, huh? 
Strong like me! 
Look, strong like Tarzan! 
Do you know who Tarzan is?" 
Private Kelly

It's customary for Toobworld Central to accept references to other fictional characters as being an acknowledgement that they actually exist.  This is no different, but Kelly's verb tense makes it seem that Kelly considers Tarzan as still being alive.

For the purposes of the Toobworld Dynamic, I am currently inclined to consider Ron Ely's portrayal of the Ape-Man in the 1960s TV series as being THE Tarzan.  It doesn't have much of a connection to the world and the time period in which Edgar Rice Burroughs set as the backdrop for the two dozen or so novels he wrote about one of the most famous characters in literature.

And it's to one of those novels that I have turned in order to make my argument that the Tarzan played by Ely is the official one for Earth Prime-Time.  

If - as we usually do with contemporary TV characters - we consider Tarzan to be the same age as the actor who played him, then John Clayton was born around the late 1930s.  However, the main thrust of the action in the novels takes place around the same time as the first publication in All-Story Magazine in 1912, with Tarzan being born a little over two decades before.  Luckily, the 1935/36 publication of "Tarzan's Quest" in Blue Book Magazine provided a way to resolve this timeline discrepancy.

Here's a summary of "Tarzan's Quest" from Wikipedia:

Tarzan's wife Jane (her first appearance since Tarzan and the Ant Men and also her last as a major character in the series), becomes involved in a search for a bloodthirsty lost tribe reputed to possess an immortality drug. Also drawn in are Tarzan and his monkey companion, little Nkima, and Chief Muviro and his faithful Waziri warriors, who are searching for Muviro's lost daughter Buira. Nkima's vital contribution to the adventure is recognized when he is made a recipient of the immortality treatment along with the human protagonists at the end of the novel.

Toobworld Central doesn't always accept details to be found in the original sources outside of television; what matters more is what was depicted on the small screen.  As an example, even though the details of Batman's back-story - in which he saw his parents gunned down in an alley by a low-life criminal - were not explicitly spelled out in the 1966 'Batman' (the official portrayal of the Caped Crusader in the main Toobworld), we accept that as being the true story.  However, when it comes to the true identity of who the Riddler is, that never came up in the TV series and therefore we have no compunction about refusing to accept "Edward Nigma" as his real identity.  (To better serve the cohesiveness of the TV mosaic, the Riddler was actually two men, as it's a job title, not a name - Lew Rydell from the "Second Verdict" episode of 'The Alfred Hitchcock Hour', and Gomez Addams of 'The Addams Family'.)

And so it is with Tarzan.  Even though the stories from the TV series have no connection to the Burroughs' novels, he is still the real Tarzan for the main Toobworld.  But at the same time we accept the events depicted in "Tarzan's Quest" as having happened.  Therefore, Ron Ely's Tarzan was born in the 19th Century. (According to Win Scott Eckert's excellent chronology for all of Burroughs' major characters, John Clayton was born November 22, 1888.) He later received that immortality drug although we never saw any of that depicted on TV.  (Just so there is no confusion, Toobworld is NOT part of the Wold Newton Universe, which I admire very much.  Philip Jose Farmer was one of several influences on the Toobworld Dynamic and Win Scott Eckert has done an excellent job in carrying on his work.)

The Toobworld Dynamic is a fluid concept, always changing and adapting due to new stories written for television.  The day may come when a Tarzan truly faithful to the Burroughs mythos comes along on TV and we'll have to rethink our position on Ron Ely's character.  Accepting the events from the novel "Tarzan's Quest" shows that we already have revised our position on the Lord of the Apes.  If that day comes, we do have a splainin in mind: that Ely's Tarzan is only using the name of his father; that in fact he is Jack Clayton AKA Korak.

We shall see what we shall view.

Getting back to the 'Combat!' quote that launched this post......

So Private Kelly was referring to Ron Ely as Tarzan, even though his televised exploits would not be happening for another twenty years at least.  Although unseen by the audience viewing at home in the Trueniverse, Tarzan was very much active during the war years and his exploits must have been chronicled by some intrepid reporter in dispatches from Africa.  (I'm sure with a little research we could find such a fictional reporter in yet another TV show.)  

Kelly must have read about those adventures of Tarzan and that's why he spoke of the Ape-Man as being alive.

So anyhoo... that's my annual contribution to Wold Newton Day as it applies to the Television Universe.


Monday, December 12, 2016


Number Six: 
The whole earth as. . . The Village?
Number Two: 
That is my hope. What's yours?
Number Six: 
I'd like to be the first man on the moon!
'The Prisoner'

Ed Sawyer:
You believe folks will ever fly to the moon?
Sheriff Andy Taylor;
Ed Sawyer:
I'm going there myself someday.
Deputy Barney Fife:
Boy, you're already there.
'The Andy Griffith Show'


Sunday, December 11, 2016


 "Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's great to be back in New York, and alive!

You know, coming here is like coming home. I went to a dramatic school just up on 57th Street, and I worked in theaters just a few blocks from here. Of course, I was never in a Broadway hit. The plays usually ran about one performance, then I'd go back to California, make a movie, and then I'd come back to New York and do another play - for one night - and back to California, and here I am doing a one-night stand!

I think maybe that's why they asked me. But I want to tell you something - television is really rough. It's not like movies - there's no retakes, it's scary, it's like you're walking a tight wire and there's no net. But I don't know, I have a feeling it's going to be okay. You see, I have four sons, and, thanks to Michael, I now have a grandson! Now, I don't have any daughters. But.. I do have a beautiful godchild - Alexandra. She came up all the way from Washington, and she's sitting right there.

You know, Alexandra is really my most loyal fan. Now, when I make a movie, no matter what the critics say, Alexandra writes me a letter right away, and she says, "Dear Uncle Kirk: I saw your last movie, you were terrific!" So, now, Alexandra, if these people don't like this show tonight, you send that letter right away!

We'll see you all later!"

- Kirk Douglas
'Saturday Night Live' monologue
(February 23, 1980)

On Saturday, Kirk Douglas turned 100 years old.  Toobworld Central might have honored him on his birthday with his induction into the Television Crossover Hall of Fame, but as the current theme on Saturdays for the Inner Toob blog is "TV Characters As Seen In Comic Books", I thought it more appropriate to honor the late Van Williams and his contribution to Toobworld as the Green Hornet.

I could have jumped the gun and run the tribute a day earlier, but John Glenn's death caught me unawares, and such a modern legend as he was deserved to be honored right away.

And so here we are.  Since Sundays in Inner Toob are usually a day of "rest" for your Toobworld Caretaker in which I simply run a few videos, this is probably the best day of all for "honoring" Mr. Douglas......

First, a little about this one-man Mt. Rushmore, as he was described in the news this week:

Kirk Douglas (born Issur Danielovitch; December 9, 1916) is an American actor, producer, director, and author. He is one of the last survivors of the industry's Golden Age. After an impoverished childhood with immigrant parents and six sisters, he had his film debut in 'The Strange Love of Martha Ivers' (1946) with Barbara Stanwyck. Douglas soon developed into a leading box-office star throughout the 1950s and 1960s, known for serious dramas, including westerns and war movies. During a sixty-year acting career, he has appeared in over 90 movies, and in 1960 helped end the Hollywood Blacklist.

As an actor and philanthropist, Douglas has received three Academy Award nominations, an Oscar for Lifetime Achievement, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. As an author, he has written ten novels and memoirs. Currently, he is No. 17 on the American Film Institute's list of the greatest male screen legends of classic Hollywood cinema, and the highest-ranked living person on the list. After barely surviving a helicopter crash in 1991 and then suffering a stroke in 1996, he has focused on renewing his spiritual and religious life. He lives with his second wife of more than 60 years, Anne, a producer. He turned 100 on December 9, 2016.

In a 2014 article, Douglas cited 'The Strange Love of Martha Ivers', 'Champion', 'Ace in the Hole', 'The Bad and the Beautiful', 'Act of Love', '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea', 'The Indian Fighter', 'Lust for Life', 'Paths of Glory', 'Spartacus', 'Lonely Are the Brave', and 'Seven Days in May' as the films he was most proud of throughout his acting career.

[edited from Wikipedia]

This is not the first time we've inducted someone into the TVXOHOF when they turned 100.  But he's certainly the first who was still alive when we did it.  (Other centenarians so honored have been Jackie Gleason and Dinah Shore - both this year - and Frank Sinatra.)

I'm not surprised he made it to his century mark.  Kirk Douglas has always exuded this almost bestial virility onscreen, especially in roles like Spartacus.  Hell, he was probably the only actor around at the time who could play a character making love to Farrah Fawcett, a woman half his age, and still be believable.  ("Saturn 3")

I'm not sure I would have inducted him JUST because he turned 100.  Although I've honored others who hit lesser, yet still major, milestones - just this year we had Raquel Welch after turning 75 and Dick Cavett at 80, Willy Mays marking 85, and Jerry Lewis reaching the Big 9-0 - they still had the necessary requirements met for inclusion.

Luckily Mr. Douglas had enough reasons to say that he belongs in the Hall of Fame as a fictional version of himself:

'The Jack Benny Program' 
- "The Jam Session Show" (1954)

Jack invites some celebrity friends over to the house for one of his weekly jam sessions. This week's session includes Dan Dailey, Kirk Douglas, Fred MacMurray, Tony Martin, and Dick Powell.

'Name That Tune' 
- Episode dated 9 December 1954 

'The Lucy Show'
- "Lucy Goes to a Hollywood Premiere" (1966) 

Lucy, the world's biggest movie fan, manages to get into a big Hollywood movie premiere by filling-in as a theater usher. As the stars arrive, she disrupts proceedings on the red carpet by fawning over the celebrities and getting into a fight with a gorilla.
[from IMDb]

'Saturday Night Live' - "Kirk Douglas/Sam and Dave" (1980) 

The host for the episode is Kirk Douglas, and the musical guest is Sam & Dave. 
The skits for this episode are as follows:
  • Gilda Radner brings her aunt backstage to meet Kirk Douglas, but they are shocked to discover he's only four feet tall. 
  • For his opening monologue, Kirk reminisces about performing on stage in New York, then talks about his grandchildren and introduces his young god-daughter. 
  • Kirk does impersonations of Kirk Douglas impersonators. 
  • A lavatory attendant asks Kirk for an autograph while he's using the facilities. 

- Written by Jean-Marc Rocher

That last entry about the lavatory attendant bothering Kirk in the bathroom would have been a worthy plotline for a Lucy show, which is why it's appropriate that Gilda played the role. 

In the TV dimension of Skitlandia, Kirk Douglas is only about four feet tall.....

Gilda Radner: 
Uh.. Mr. Douglas, we don't mean to bother you, but I'd like you to meet a big fan of yours. This is my Aunt Margie.

Kirk Douglas: 

Gilda's Aunt: 
Are you sure this is Kirk Douglas the movie star?

Gilda Radner: 
Now, Aunt Margie, listen.. the man's made 65 movies, what do you expect?

Gilda's Aunt: 
I'm sorry, but I was expecting something else, I-I-I..

Gilda Radner: 
Quiet! Sshhh! Mr. Douglas, I'd like to apologize for my Aunt Margie.

Kirk Douglas: 
There's no need. I know what she means. I'm used to it. Now, Aunt Margie, you expected a taller man, with a dimple in his chin? No, Margie, that's just an illusion - makeup, a little Hollywood magic.. now, you didn't really think I had a hole in my chin, did you? Huh? [ Gilda laughs ]

Gilda's Aunt: 
It's amazing.. I've seen, maybe, 50 of his movies, but in person, he makes your Uncle Harry look good. 

Gilda Radner: 

Yeah. Well, as they say in show business, "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

- The Popcorn Bowl (1994) 

Hayden struggles to juggle a bowl game and an offer from a professional football team as he feels he has changed too much since hiring an agent. (I have no info on Kirk's involvement in this.)

And now, making this a true "Video Sunday", I'll end my tribute to Kirk Douglas with a few examples of his "Life" in Toobworld....





It's always refreshing to do an induction tribute for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame and it's NOT a memorial.  

So here's to you, Kirk Douglas.  Thank you for all the great moments you gave us on the movie screens and on our TV sets.  I know you'll never see this, but it's nice to know it's out there in the aether while you are still with us on Earth.