Saturday, December 16, 2017


"The Last Jedi" opens this weekend and there are three reasons why fans are so excited to see it - Mark Hamill as Luke will have a MUCH larger role this time around; sadly it will be the last time to see Princess Leia in action; and finally... PORGS!

To celebrate this latest chapter in the "Star Wars" saga, Toobworld Central wants to share with you a fan film starring one of my dearest friends, my "twin sister" Shirley Jordan.

And while the theatrically released movies remain in the Cineverse, there is a televersion to the "Star Wars" universe, and this would be part of it because Toobworld Central accepts what is presented on YouTube.

I hope you enjoy it....

May the Force be with you.....


A long time ago in Skitlandia.....

I mentioned this sketch earlier this week.  I figured you should get the chance to see it.  But I must warn you: it's painful.....

Hopefully, the release of "The Last Jedi" will cleanse your palate of this!

May the Farce be with you......

Friday, December 15, 2017



From the IMDb:
Ironside's Aunt Victoria suspects foul play when one of her card-playing friends vanishes. Despite her nephew's admonitions, Victoria and her bridge partners shadow their missing friend's husband, who insists his wife left him.

Harvey McPhee not only murdered his wife and buried her in the basement, he began to think he actually was the infamous murderer Dr. Crippen.

From Wikipedia:

Detective Chief Inspector Walter Dew (17 April 1863 – 16 December 1947) was a Metropolitan Police officer who was involved in the hunt for both Jack the Ripper and Dr Crippen.

Doctor Hawley Harvey Crippen was an American, born in Michigan in 1862. He qualified as a doctor in 1885 and worked for a patent medicine company. Coming to England in 1900, he lived at 39 Hilldrop Crescent, Holloway, with his second wife Cora Turner, better known by her stage name of 'Belle Elmore'. After a party at their home on 31 January 1910, Cora disappeared. Hawley Crippen claimed that she had returned to the US, and later added that she had died, and had been cremated, in California. 

Meanwhile, his lover, Ethel "Le Neve" Neave (1883–1967), moved into Hilldrop Crescent and began openly wearing Cora's clothes and jewelry. The police were informed of Cora's disappearance by her friend, strongwoman Kate Williams, better known as Vulcana.

The house was searched, but nothing was found, and Crippen was interviewed by Dew. After the interview, and a quick search of the house, Dew was satisfied. However, Crippen and Le Neve did not know this and fled in panic to Brussels, where they spent the night at a hotel. The following day, they went to Antwerp and boarded the Canadian Pacific liner SS Montrose for Canada.

Their disappearance led the police at Scotland Yard to perform another three searches of the house. During the fourth and final search, they found the remains of a human body, buried under the brick floor of the basement. Sir Bernard Spilsbury found traces of the calming drug scopolamine. The corpse was identified by a piece of skin from its abdomen; the head, limbs, and skeleton were never recovered. 

Crippen and Le Neve fled across the Atlantic on the Montrose, with le Neve disguised as a boy. Captain Henry George Kendall recognised the fugitives and, just before steaming out of range of the land-based transmitters, had telegraphist Lawrence Ernest Hughes send a wireless telegram to the British authorities: "Have strong suspicions that Crippen London cellar murderer and accomplice are among saloon passengers. Mustache taken off growing beard. Accomplice dressed as boy. Manner and build undoubtedly a girl." Had Crippen traveled 3rd class, he would have probably escaped Kendall's notice. Dew boarded a faster White Star liner, the SS Laurentic, arrived in Quebec, Canada ahead of Crippen, and contacted the Canadian authorities.

As the Montrose entered the St. Lawrence River, Dew came aboard disguised as a pilot. Kendall invited Crippen to meet the pilots as they came aboard. Dew removed his pilot's cap and said, "Good morning, Dr Crippen. Do you know me? I'm Chief Inspector Dew from Scotland Yard." After a pause, Crippen replied, "Thank God it's over. The suspense has been too great. I couldn't stand it any longer." He then held out his wrists for the handcuffs. Crippen and le Neve were arrested on board the Montrose on 31 July 1910.

In his 1938 memoirs, Dew recalled:

"I had landed on July 29 by the liner Laurentic, arriving two days before the Montrose, which was already well out in the Atlantic when we first suspected that Crippen was aboard, but which was a much slower vessel than the mail steamer Laurentic. Old Crippen took it quite well. He always was a bit of a philosopher, though he could not have helped being astounded to see me on board the boat. He was quite a likeable chap in his way. Much of my time in Canada was spent evading reporters and cameramen, who knew all about my arrival in spite of our efforts to keep it secret, and who frequently became personal when I did not give them a statement. As it happened, Crippen and his companion, Miss Ethel Le Neve, showed no desire to postpone our departure and waived their extradition rights, which enabled us to make the return journey after being only three weeks in Canada."

Dew returned to England with Crippen aboard the SS Megantic, paving the way for a sensational trial at the Old Bailey. Newspapers at the time said he had "effected the most sensational criminal capture of the century".

He published his autobiography 'I Caught Crippen' in 1938. This contained factual errors as many of the events described were being recalled sometimes more than fifty years later; Dew himself admitted this in the book. However, compared to many of the memoirs written by Dew's contemporaries about the same events, it is "broadly accurate".

To read more about Inspector Dew and his involvement in the Ripper case, click here.

The case felt familiar to Chief Robert T. Ironside and while they were searching McPhee's house after he and the new woman in his life had escaped, Ironside found that McPhee had a copy of Dew''s autobiography.

However, in Toobworld, the name of the book is "My Years With Scotland Yard".  I don't see this as causing any discernible Zonk which might disrupt Earth Prime-Time.  The episode aired in January of 1969 and Toobworld has had far worse things happen to it since then!

McPhee began to think of himself as Crippen.  He had his receptionist, who had been living with him, dress up as a boy to make their escape just as had happened in real life.  (The only difference was that the receptionist, unlike Crippen's mistress, had no foreknowledge of his crime.)

Trying to predict McPhee's next move, Sgt. Ed Brown realized they were on the run to Canada.  He was planning to close off the airport and call for blockades at the border.  But Ironside kept thinking in Crippen's style - he knew McPhee would be traveling by sea.  From there it was a simple matter to track down the ship the fugitives would be on.

By the time they caught up to McPhee, the murderer was round the bend.  Ironside realized that and asked McPhee if he recognized him.  McPhee identified Chief Ironside as being Inspector Dew.  With pleading by his receptionist who now felt like his hostage, Harvey McPhee finally surrendered.

Inspector Dew has been portrayed on television several times, making him an Historical Multidimensional.

"The Case of Dr. Crippen"
Played by Philip Lennard

"Investigating Murder"
Played by Philip Webb

"Jack the Ripper"
Played by Norman Shelley

'The Ladykillers'
"Miss Elmore"
Played by Alan Downer

"Tales from the Black Museum"
Actor not credited

"The Last Secret of Dr Crippen"
Played by David Broughton-Davies

"Revealed: Was Crippen Innocent?"
Actor not credited

Most of those would be relegated to alternate TV dimensions, usually of the Docu-Drama Toobworld variety.  Should he one day be portrayed in a TV show with an established fictional character, that Inspector Drew would have preeminence in the main Toobworld.

By the way, I'm posting this today because December 16 marks the 70th anniversary of the death of Inspector Walter Dew.....


Thursday, December 14, 2017



This may be about a ‘Quincy’ episode, but we’re going to start with a different show…..

From the 'Mad Men' Wiki: 

Lieutenant Donald Francis Draper was an engineer originally from California and his birthday was June 2, 1917. Draper was a soldier assigned to build a field hospital in 1950 during the Korean War. While the other men in his group were engaged in combat several miles away, Lt. Draper was supposed to receive about 20 soldiers to build the installation. Instead, only one young soldier, Dick Whitman is assigned to this duty, and works under Draper's command.

While working outside, they hear mortar explosions get closer until gunfire erupts and bullets zoom by their heads. They hurry for cover, and after the short round of shooting ends, they light up cigarettes. No sooner do they realize that the gasoline has spilled everywhere when a huge fireball engulfs the ground.

When Dick wakes up, he sees that Lt. Draper has been killed, burned beyond recognition. He finds Don's dog tags and pulls them from the body and replaces it with his own. The next day at the military hospital, Don receives his Purple Heart and the news that he is going home.

("Nixon vs. Kennedy")

Although it never came up in ‘Mad Men’, the real Don Draper had a first cousin but they were never very close.  Which is a good thing too, since had that cousin gone to New York to look up his cousin Don, he would have realized that he was a ringer.  And the cousin might not have been as understanding as the real Don’s widow.

That cousin was Jules Draper, a high-powered attorney in Los Angeles who represented the Roman Catholic diocese among his clients.  Another client was Charles Descassa, the publisher of the skin magazine Phantasie.  Descassa was at odds with a crusading priest of the diocese and when that priest found out that Draper was representing them both, he stormed into Draper’s office to have it out with him.  During his tirade, the priest suffered a heart attack and Draper panicked – he put the priest’s body into the trunk of his car and brought him to the home of another client, a high-priced call girl. 

They arranged him so that it looked like he had been a client of the hooker, but they didn’t realize that the priest hadn’t died immediately at the office.  If Jules Draper had only called for help, the priest might have survived.  But apparently he didn’t realize that the case would be investigated by Dr. R. Quincy, the medical examiner……


Wednesday, December 13, 2017



Bert Johnson was the target of the man who had murdered a famous painter in France.  Bert and several of his fellow soldiers had witnessed it and the killer had tracked them down to eliminate them one by one.

Exasperated by what he considered the inefficiency of the police, Bert vowed to take care of the matter on his own in order to avenge his friends.  But when he tried to storm out, Constable Hugh Collins was blocking his way, seemingly with no intention on moving to one side so that he might pass.

"Out of my road, Tarzan," growled Bert, but Hugh didn't step aside until Detective Jack Robinson nodded his okay.

Team Toobworld, you know the rules of the Toobworld Dynamic: Bert's pejorative, calling Hugh "Tarzan" (meaning that he was a big ape-man standing in the way as I interpreted it) had no attribution back to the source material - the Tarzan stories by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Had there been mention of the books, which began in 1912, then it might have been Bert was familiar with them.  (Two of them were both completed and published in 1928 - "Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle"was serialized from December of 1927 through May of 1928 and then published in hardcover in September of 1928.  This particular episode of the Australian "History Mystery" took place in October of 1928.  It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that Bert had recently read it.  If not, there had been the ten previous novels.

Then again, Bert doesn't really come off as the reader type.  No worries. An argument could be made that he probably saw one of five feature length films that came out before this investigation (with a sixth "currently" running as a serial.)

But as there was no attribution to either the books or the movies, I'm going with the idea that Bert was making a comparison between Constable Collins and the actual Jungle Lord, Tarzan.

You don't know how long I've been waiting for this in my televisiological studies!  To actually have "proof" that Tarzan existed in the main TV dimension around the same time his timeline was chronicled by Philip Jose Farmer in "Tarzan Alive" (and mapped out with more details by Wold Newton scholar Win Scott Eckert.)

(A word of caution: I am not equating Toobworld with the Wold Newton Universe.  They are two wholly distinctive meta-fictional universes, but they do share a few characters and locations, with Tarzan being one of them.)

However [and alas for Toobworld!], the legend of Tarzan (NOT "The Legend Of Tarzan"!) always seemed to be locked into the mid-1960s - ERB's far future - because of the televisual dominance of the Ron Ely TV series.  But with last year's celebration of Wold Newton Day, we accepted the immortality of Tarzan as established in the meta-fictional universe of BookWorld as having happened in Toobworld as well.  So the Tarzan that Bert Johnson knew of in 1920s Australia was the same Lord of the Jungle known to Private Kelly in WWII France and that Ape--Man was still active in the 1960s, thanks to the immortality elixir.


Tuesday, December 12, 2017


This past week, Mark Hamill appeared on 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' in advance of the release of his latest "Star Wars" movie, "The Last Jedi".  But before he sat for an interview with Colbert, he took part in a pretty lame "Star Wars" sketch with the show's host.  (Luke Skywalker was trying to get into the Mos Eisley Cantina but couldn't get past the maitre d'.)

I had that nauseating sense of deja vu as I remembered another lame "Star Wars" sketch when the original movie had come out during the summer of 1977.  Again, Hamill played Luke Skywalker in the "Bob Hope All-Star Christmas Special" as the payoff to that sketch.  But the main performers were Olivia Newton-John as Princess Hialeah, Perry Como as Luke Sleepwalker, and Bob Hope as Barf Vader.

On Saturday, I'll inflict - er - I'll share that sketch with you as part of Video Weekend.

Two for Tuesday!

Monday, December 11, 2017


Anyway, I spoke to your arranger.
Nick Solacanto
Yeah, that's him.

This is an in-joke.  The arranger's last name, when rearranged, spells out "Colasanto". 

Many of you will remember Nick Colasanto as Coach Ernie Pantusso on 'Cheers'.  But he was also a director and he directed this episode of 'Columbo'.


Sunday, December 10, 2017


We have another British mystery offering for Video Sunday.  This is an Agatha Christie classic which had been a movie directed by Billy Wilder and starring Charles Laughton, Elsa Lanchester, Tyrone Power, and Marlene Dietrich.  I hope you'll enjoy.....