DHTV: "DIE HARD TELEVISION"

Signing off until February, 'Chuck' gave Toobworld a big Christmas gift with the holiday-themed episode, "Chuck vs. Santa Claus": Reginald VelJohnson was a guest star, playing Big Mike's cousin. But even better than that... Al was Al Powell of the Burbank police department, Twinkie included. That means he was the televersion of the character VelJohnson played in the first two "Die Hard" movies!

This doesn't have to mean that the "Die Hard" franchise is fully incorporated into the TV Universe, just that most of the characters from those films also have lives in Toobworld. And for all those TV shows that made mention of the events in the "Die Hard" movies (or to the movies themselves), the movies could have been fictional representations of actual events which occurred in Toobworld. Among the shows that either had the characters talking about the movie, or watching it, or quoting from it are:

'Friends' - in three different episodes
'The X-Files'
'The Middleman'
'The Sopranos'
'The Office'
'Ugly Betty'
'Supernatural'
'Freddy's Nightmares'
'How I Met Your Mother'
'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'
'Third Rock From The Sun'

As for Michael Rooker's appearance as Lt. Mauser in the story, this is no reflection on the character from the "Police Academy" movies - at least from within the reality of Toobworld. First off, if he had been the real character, as Al was, he should have looked like Art Metrano. Secondly, it doesn't even acknowledge the presence of those films, which do have a TV counterpart sharing the same dimension.

Instead, it's either the FULCRUM agent's real name, or he pulled it out of the air for an alias.

Thanks, 'Chuck'! Happy Holidays!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

MISSING LINKS - "COLUMBO" & "DIE HARD"

I've been writing posts for Inner Toob since August 2004.  This is the 11,354th one.  Every so often one of my posts resurface in my Google searches and I don't even recognize them; it's been that long and there have been that many!

One of my FB friends (and one who shares my birthday), Steve Skayman, is also a big fan of 'Columbo'; we're members of an English-based 'Columbo' page on Facebook.  And for Christmas he shared a couple of frame grabs from the episode "Uneasy Lies The Crown" in which a building could be seen in the background.  It's the same building that was identified as Nakatomi Plaza in the movie "Die Hard";

Turns out I wrote about this high-propane action film movie twice over the years, in connection to the TV series 'The Middleman', and 'Chuck'.

For more on those posts, click here and here.
 
In Toobworld, "Die Hard" is a movie, but it was based on an actual event which took place in Toobworld before 1987.  (The movie, as it did in the Real World, came out in 1988, thirty years ago.)

For most of the points I made in those two articles, I still stand by them.  Al Powell of the actual event was the cousin of Big Mike of BuyMore.  In the movie he was played by an incredible lookAlike named Reginald VelJohnson, whose televersion was established in the 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' episode "Bachelorette Party" when Detective Jake Peralta got to meet the actor and discuss the movie with him.

One thing I would change would be that scene in 'The Middleman" which provides the caption "Vandelay Industries" to a shot of Nakotomi Plaza. 

That caption has no bearing on any Toobworldling unless they are tele-cognizant.  That is still Nakatomi Plaze, but Vandelay Industries are to be found within the tower.

Thanks again, Steve for the 'Columbo' connection to "Die Hard"!

Mah jong......

"DIE HARD" - IN TOOBWORLD CENTRAL

Besides 'Doctor Who', the other major theme for the pop culture references in the latest episode of 'The Middleman' ("The Clotharian Contamination Protocol") was the movie "Die Hard". There were mentions of Hans Gruber (complete with a wire hanger dispatching), allusions to Nakatomi Plaza, and even an alien citing "Yippee Yi Yo Kai Yai, Mother[Bleeper]!"

But that's all "Die Hard" is in the TV Universe - a movie.

Whoever was the Middleman before the current Sexy Bossman must have been a big fan of John McCrane, which is why the air duct and ventilator shaft principles were assigned the Nakatomi moniker. After that, all other references were because of previous (and perhaps coincidental) knowledge of the film by Dub-Dub and the Maximum Aldwin.

The same holds true for the movie "Speed" when Wendy Watson exclaimed that they had been "jack-travened".

BCnU!
Toby O'B

CHUCKING AROUND

Digging through the pile of stories written for "Inner Toob" (but yet to be posted), I found one about the season premiere of 'Chuck' from last month.

So, let's finally get around to it.....

'Chuck' provided a couple of examples of Toobworld goodness in its first episode back this Fall TV season. Here's what they offered up:

1) HARRY DEAN STANTON AS THE "REPO MAN"Twenty-six years ago, Harry Dean Stanton starred in a cult classic, "Repo Man" with Emilio Estevez. And here he was again as that character, working the same job - repossessing cars. And this time it was Chuck and Morgan's $900.00 lemon. The name of the character wasn't stated within the episode and Toobworld Central doesn't acknowledge what happens in a show's credits. Therefore, why can't we assume that the actor was playing Bud, the same character as in the movie?

It's not like 'Chuck' has never crossed over with a movie before. It turns out that Big Mike, the former manager of the Buy More store, has Sgt. Al Powell as a first cousin. Sgt. Powell was the LAPD cop who helped John McClane take down the terrorists who "hijacked" the Nakatomi Plaza building in "Die Hard". That can mean one of two splainins - either "Die Hard" has a counterpart in the TV Universe, or the movie has been totally absorbed out of the movie universe and into Toobworld, as has happened before with "Maverick", the 1966 "Batman", and the "Star Trek" franchise.

And 'Chuck' isn't the only TV show that has incorporated something from "Die Hard" into Toobworld. 'Middleman' was at the Nakatomi Plaza building, crawling through the duct works during a case.

2) VANDALAY INDUSTRIES
Chuck applied for a job at Vandalay Industries which fans of 'Seinfeld' know was the fictional corporation that George Costanza claimed as a job reference. But what if it wasn't fictional? Maybe George saw the name somewhere and pulled it out of the deep recesses of his memory.

I don't know if we actually saw the name "Vandalay Industries" actually spelled out within those 'Seinfeld' episodes where it was featured (beginning with "The Stake Out"). But it's usually spelled as "Vandelay", whereas 'Chuck' identified it as "Vandalay" in an onscreen credit. But since those are invisible to all but the tele-cognizant, we can dismiss it if necessary.

Therefore, both references were for the same place.

BCnU!

THE 2008 TOOBITS AWARDS - PART SIX

Yep! We're still churning out the Toobits Awards for 2008, honoring those shows and characters who best exemplified the many facets of the TV Universe.

Today, we're finally looking at the basis of the Toobworld Concept: Crossovers!

BEST CROSSOVER

'Pushing Daisies' - 'Wonderfalls'
In the episode "Comfort Food", Ned and Olive had to once again face one of their eatery nemeses - Marianne Marie Beetle, owner of a home-based operation, "Muffin Buffalo".

"Muffin Buffalo" was the title of an unaired episode of 'Wonderfalls', one of 'Pushing Daisies' creator Bryan Fuller's earlier series.
Even though the episode never aired, it was included in a boxed set for 'Wonderfalls', and as is the case with online TV content, the Toobworld concept has been expanded beyond what is broadcast to include DVD material.

This confrontation between Beth Grant as Marianne and Kristen Chenowith as Olive is one good reason why this nabbed "Best Crossover":

Marianne: Ah, the sweet smell of victory!

Olive: Not this year, turd-muffin.

Marianne: I'll shut your pie hole good.

Olive: Bring it, stale-cakes!

I love it when characters from different shows trash-talk each other. Cat fight!

There was a runner-up.......

'Doctor Who' - "Stolen Earth" & "The Journey's End"

linked to 'Torchwood' and 'The Sarah Jane Adventures'

Mark Wright of The Stage blog TV Today summed it up best:

"When I was a kid I loved those Marvel Comics team-ups when you'd have Spider-Man teaming up with Captain America and the X-Men. This is the 'Doctor Who' equivalent and it's pant-wettingly exciting. Some of the audience will never have seen 'Torchwood', some will never have seen 'The Sarah Jane Adventures', but it doesn't matter. This is a celebration of where Davies has taken 'Doctor Who' and just what has been achieved in four years. 'Doctor Who' is literally a small television industry now, and it's only right and proper that we get to see the spin-off shows brought together under the hospitable roof of the parent show."

WORST CROSSOVER

'Tonight' & 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' (1/10/08)
This happened during the writers' strike, and just carried an air of a smack in the face to the WGA.

MOST CRASS CROSSOVER

'Law & Order - Criminal Intent' & 'In Plain Sight'

That award title is probably misleading, because I saw no problem in doing this crossover. But it was obvious that the parent corporation for both shows wanted to make sure 'In Plain Sight' got a kick-off boost in its first weeks with an appearance by Mary Shannon on one of the Peacock network's components in the 'Law & Order' franchise. Sure, it was the weakest of the three surviving shows, but still it was major network exposure.

FIRST CROSSOVER OF THE YEAR 2008

Ashley Abbott

'The Bold & The Beautiful' to 'The Young & The Restless'
You can usually count on the soap operas to get out of the blocks first.

BEST COMMERCIAL CROSSOVER

Commercial/Commercial

Geico - Mrs. Butterworth
Somebody in that ad agency for Geico is smoking some serious bleep. Inspired!

Commercial/Animated Series

DirecTV - 'Scooby Doo, Where Are You?'
Except for the fact that Scooby Doo makes me cringe, this was a great choice if you were going the classic TV cartoon route.

Commercial/Live Action Series

Dr. Pepper - 'Frasier'
When I first saw this commercial, the sound was turned down as we were at the combined birthday party for my sister and her son (both on December 7). And before you ask, we had it on because there was an important football game going on that some at the party couldn't miss!

So when Frasier made a sour-puss face at one point in the commercial, I had no clue why. I thought he was having some kind of bad reaction to the soda! Only upon second viewing did I find out that his ex-wife Lilith was his caller. And best of all, they got Bebe Neuwirth to "phone it in"!

BEST THEORETICAL COMMERCIAL CROSSOVER

Coke Zero & Doritos

Do you remember an episode of 'Angel' called "I Fall To Pieces" in which a man was able to separate parts of his body and send them off to do his dirty work? Both of these commercials contained body parts like eyeballs and tongues which did the same thing. For alls I know, as Stuart Best would say on 'Murphy Brown', they belong to the same man. And like many objects in Toobworld, those body parts then took on lives of their own.

BEST COMMERCIAL RETURN

Sugar Puffs' Honey Monster

As this is a product in Great Britain, I was only privy to this blipvert by way of an article in some advertising website and then I found the videos at YouTube. Apparently the Honey Monster (who loved his Sugar Puffs as well as his Mommy) had been a big hit back in the day and is now enjoying a comeback.
Here you can see the new commercial.
And here's the original advert from a few decades ago, starring Henry McGee from 'The Benny Hill Show' as "Not The Mommy".

BEST ONLINE CROSSOVER

TedMosbyIsAJerk.com
'How I Met Your Mother' - "The Bracket"
The episode in which this website first was mentioned happened in March of 2008, but it's counter says it's been up since 2006. So that's some incredible foresight on the part of the producers! And yes, the website still exists. Check it out!

BEST CROSSOVER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE (aka MEDIUM)
'Chuck' - "Die Hard" On this year's Christmas episode, policeman Al Powell from the first two "Die Hard" movies - still played by Reginald Veljohnson and still chowing down on Twinkies! - turned out to be the cousin of the Buy More manager, Big Mike! We can logically assume then that in the TV Universe, John McClaine looks like Bruce Willis. (Unless somebody decides to make a TV show out of the movie franchise.....)

BEST ADAPTATION FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE (aka MEDIUM)

'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles'
The movies can't be considered part of the TV Universe, like the 1966 'Batman' and the 'Star Trek' franchise can, because of casting changes, especially of Sarah Conner herself. But even with the niggling problem of the "Terminator" references made in other TV shows, this is still a great recreation of some classic kick-ass movies.

BEST NEW ALTERNATE DIMENSION FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE (aka MEDIUM)

'Lost In Austen' Even though the world of Jane Austen's "Pride And Prejudice" was seen on TV, it was still encased in the world of Literature. After Amanda Price rejiggered the events that Austen originally created, it affected every copy of the book but not the story as already told in film and on TV.

BEST BLEND OF TOOBWORLD AND REAL WORLD CELEBRITY

'Z Rock'
In the tradition of 'Extras' and 'The Larry Sanders Show', celebrities appeared on this show and had some fun at their own expense. Dave Navarro was seen as a sex fiend [shown above]; John Popper was a disgusting pig; Dee Snyder was a duplicitous back-stabber; and Joan Rivers gave a blow job to David Lee Roth!

You're not going to find that happening on '30 Rock', no matter who they get to appear as themselves during Sweeps Week!

You may have figured this out by now, but we's ain't done yet!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

"THE RIFLEMAN" - ELAM EVERLASTING

Character actor Jack Elam was right at home in 'The Rifleman', at home in fact in every TV Western and cowboy movie that he ever made during his career, both dramatic and comedic.

With our showcase series this year, Elam appeared in five episodes - and all as different characters.

"Duel Of Honor"

"Tension"

"Knight Errant"

"Shotgun Man"

"The Shattered Idol"

Sim Groder, Gavin Martin, Gates, Gus Smith, and Russell..... It would be hard to believe that the townsfolk of North Fork, New Mexico, never noticed the intense similarities between these five men, especially with those popping lazy eyes they all sported. And yet that seems to be the case, so maybe it was because the people of North Fork, only human (for the most part), couldn't see the resemblance as the audience of the Trueniverse could.

I think they all looked alike because they were all the same "man", and a little deterrent like two of them getting shot to death doesn't detract from the theory.

No, I'm not succumbing to the temptation to use the 'Quantum Leap' time traveler theory with this guy. Not for him, anyhoo. I'm drawing my temptation from shows like 'Millenium', 'Supernatural', and 'Buffy, The Vampire Slayer'.

I mean - look at the face of Gavin Martin from the episode "Tension". How could such bestial rage emanate from a mere human?

The great thing about each of Jack Elam's appearances on 'The Rifleman', he played a character who seemed to have a vested interest in leading other characters into temptation.

Sim Groder of "Duel Of Honor" - He tried to goad the Italian count into a fight, but when Count di Montova proposed using his personal dueling pistols, Sim Groder turned yeller and skedaddled.

I would have thought a demon wouldn't have feared being killed by a normal human being. So I googled "How to kill a demon" and found this:

Depending on the Demon being a pure-blood or a mixed breed says a lot about how hard or easy they are to kill. A mixed breed with low rank and genes from a weak supernatural being is easy to kill ,while a mixed breed with genes from a strong creature can be almost unstoppable.

The Demons that are most difficult to kill however are pure-blooded, with inheritance from the fallen Angels. So far no one has managed to kill a fallen Archangel, although God once sent an army of Angels to defeat Lucifer. This was a mistake and God never tried it again, since Lucifer – the Devil – obliterated the army with the help of only three other Demons – all of them former Archangels.

A higher Demon can only be killed by the blade of a blessed sword – an Archangel's sword. Either the Demon's head has to be chopped off or its heart pierced.
[Click here for similar information.]

So I'm thinking this wild-eyed demon realized that the Count's bullets were melted down from an Archangel's sword; perhaps he could sniff that out. And then he might have realized that Count di Montova wasn't some ordinary human either.......

It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that the Count was a vampire on the hunt through the American Southwest for demons. (How could a vampire survive in the harsh sunlight of the American Southwest? By keeping in contact with the dirt from his own grave in his shoes.)

Or even better, perhaps he was a fallen Archangel....

Gavin Martin of "Tension" (see above) - This is one of the two Jack Elam characters to die on 'The Rifleman'. I think that - unbeknownst to his father, Ezra Martin - the real Gavin Martin was already dead back where they lived. The demon probably goaded him into taking his own life. Ezra Martin would most likely find the decomposing body hanging from the rafter in the barn once he got home - if he didn't die from fright on the trail once the demon "rose" from the dead after being impaled on a pitchfork.

Gates of "Knight Errant" - As the "esquire" to Don Chimera Del Laredo, the demon tried to entice a fellow named Scoobo into fixing a chess match so that it would escalate into a duel in which someone would surely die. (With a name like that, Scoobo may have been a demon as well, and both of them were working opposite sides of the board.)

But eventually, the demon got so caught up in the epic match that he cheated as well to make sure his human would win.

Gus Smith of "Shotgun Man" - Demons aren't always successful when coaxing a human to stray into sin.  In trying to goad Mr. Beaumont, Smith ended up eating lead at the hands of the old and nearly blind shotgun man.

He needn't have bothered with the old man - Johnny Beau was already on his own road to Hell.

More than likely the demon's body was then carted off to the undertaker's, where - when it was dark, - "Gus Smith" got up and left the funeral home. That must have caused quite a stir in North Fork - but which remains unseen by the TV Audience.

Russell of "The Shattered Idol" - Deep in his melancholic madness over the death of his son, even though it happened ten years before, I think Mark Twain was able to see Russell for who he really was. I don't know if it was ever mentioned in 'Quantum Leap' that a genius would be among the few who could see through the aura guise of a leaper, but they could see through the falsehood of psychic paper on 'Doctor Who'.)

But instead of being afraid, the author faced down not only this demon in a game of billiards, but his own personal demons as well. Years later the experience may have been the inspiration for a story called "The Mysterious Stranger", a novel which Twain was never able to finish. (The demon probably saw to that.....)

Having connected all of these Jack Elam characters together as one, the temptation is to go on to several other TV Westerns and make the same claim for the characters played by Elam on those shows. However, I don't want to dilute this 'Rifleman' showcase - and besides, I just don't have the time to do the research.

But at least one of his TV Western character roles in those other shows, one that died within the span of an episode, was likely the corpse used by one of the Dr. Frankensteins to be found in the TV Universe. Dr. Frankenstein used that corpse to recreate a human life... which became the caretaker of a Maine property in the sitcom "Struck By Lightning".

Having presented my theory that all of Jack Elam's characters in 'The Rifleman' were the same demon, can the case be then made for that same demon to be from some other TV series that naturally contained demons? I think not. I think Elam's demon has to be a TV character found only here in Inner Toob, skating just shy of fanfic.

So who would this demon be; what was his name?

There have been some interesting names for demons in other TV shows over the years. In my favorite 'Millenium" episode, the four old guys in the donut shop were all demons in disguise named Abum, Blurk, Greb, and Toby (my favorite of the bunch for some reason.....)

And then there's Clem from 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'. Like the Jack Elam character, Clem has since assumed human form and is living in a cul de sac in West Gulfport, Florida, by the name of Tom.

I gave it a little thought (Some might say, based on my past record for research, "very little".), and decided that the name of this demon would be the perfect opportunity to pay tribute to this wonderful character actor who is sorely missed in this day and age.

Why not name him Elam?

The Hebrew meaning of the name Elam is "Forever". The root is 'alam III, which gives us the word olam, meaning forever, ever, everlasting. According to HAW Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, twenty instances of this word's more than three hundred occurrences in the Bible denote a very long but not limitless past.

Thus it's an apt name for this particular demon......

(I think the demon Elam looks upset about the fine print in that contract for a soul....)

BCnU!

ROUNDING UP THE POSSE

Of all the series from this past season, it's 'Entourage' on HBO which will probably do the most towards expanding the TV Universe. Most of its contribution is coming from all of the celebrities appearing as themselves who can then link to other shows in which they appeared as themselves (but not as other characters).

My crossover comrade, Thom Holbrooke, the "Grand Poobala" of the Crossover/Spinoffs page (http://www.poobala.com/crossoverlist.html), seems to dismiss these cameos as casting stunts and not as legitimate links to other TV shows. But as for my more expansive vision of the TV Universe, these celebs are fictional versions of themselves, what I call "tele-versions". And they're welcome under the big tent of Toobworld.

Stars like Milton Berle ('Here's Lucy', 'CHiPs'), George Burns ('Alice', 'Wendy And Me'), and Sammy Davis, Jr. ('I Dream Of Jeannie', 'All In The Family') are so much larger than life, it's hard to look past that and see them as any other fictional characters.

Jack Benny was such an indelible impression with his fictional version - with the violin, the car, the vault, his age, and his overall stinginess - that I wouldn't be surprised if there are still people out there who believe that really was him. (Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if there are even more people nowadays who don't even know who he was. As somebody once stated, we are a nation of amnesiacs......)

At any rate, 'Entourage' averages about two celebrity cameos per episode, featuring boldfaced-type names from Jessica Alba to Mark Wahlberg (one of the creative forces behind the show). And each of them has the potential to connect the dots to some other show. There are also fictional references to other celebrities who don't appear (like when Ari Gold the agent mentions sharing sake with Sophia Coppola in Tokyo while she was filming 'Lost In Translation'.)

Two of the biggest links came from Jimmy Kimmel and Gary Busey. Since the concept of Toobworld covers all kinds of shows, then variety programs, talk shows, and reality shows are just as viable as the dramas and sitcoms. Now normally, I tend to ignore talk shows and sketch comedies as qualifiers if the celeb in question is just a guest. But when that celeb is the actual host or star, that's a talking horse of a different color.

So with Jimmy Kimmel, 'Entourage' makes the connection to 'The Man Show' and with 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show'.

As for Gary Busey, you can't get better validation than a reality series with your name in the title ('I'm With Busey')!

I've already removed 'Entourage' from my list of crossovers I'd like to see because apparently HBO was hip to the same possibility. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Jeremy Piven (who plays Ari Gold) said:

"Larry David plays himself as one of my clients, and that was one of the best days of my life. Going toe-to-toe with that freak was fantastic."

Some fudging and obfuscating (fancy fudging) may be needed if Larry David or Ari refers to 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' as an actual TV show. But I've packed away that same kind of fudge (sorry about that) when it came to appearances by Jerry Seinfeld in the post-'Seinfeld' era. (Unfortunately, with his three former co-stars, I was not able to remain the master of my domain. I'm still stuck for a splainin as to how they could refer to 'Seinfeld' as a fictional series on 'The Larry Sanders Show' when both series should be in the same universe.)

But as for that 'Entourage'/'Curb Your Enthusiasm' crossover, I hope Larry David's cameo can be kept within the bounds. HBO must know it'll be good publicity and good business. Hell, it has to be a no-brainer if I thought of it!

There's another strong possibility for a cross-over using celebrities; in fact, the names of these particular actors have already been invoked on the show:
Don Swayze
Frank Stallone
Joey Travolta

Each of them appeared on a recurring basis on 'Movie Stars'. They were the poker buddies of Todd Hardin, who was an actor struggling in the shadows of his more famous brother and sister-in-law, Reese Hardin and Jacey Watts.

The same situation occurs in 'Entourage' with Johnny Drama tagging along after Vince Chase, his younger half-brother and a star on the rise.

'Entourage' is also good for universal expansion with the fictional movies and TV shows it's come up with:

'Head On' starring Vince Chase and Jessica Alba
'Queens Boulevard' - Vince's next project
'Mattahorn' - a 'Die Hard in Disneyland' that Vince turned down but now to be made with Colin Farrell
and
'Viking Quest' - a show cancelled seven years before but finding new fans via reruns on the Sci-Fi channel (Johnny Drama was one of its stars)

'Entourage' has already been renewed for a second season, so we're sure to find even more links to other TV shows thanks to all of those cameo appearances as time goes on.........

THE 2010 TOOBITS AWARDS: PART FOUR

Here 'tis: the final installment of the 2010 Toobits Awards!

BEST BEHIND THE SCENES

'Masterpiece: David Suchet on the Orient Express'

You could actually feel Suchet's glee at the chance to experience the glamour of an age long past. This was shown in preparation for the long-awaited (and proper) version of "Murder On The Orient Express" with Suchet as Poirot. (The version with Alfred Molina was a travesty.)

BEST EPISODE TITLE

"Eleventh Hour" - 'Doctor Who'

Get it? He's the Eleventh Incarnation of the Doctor; it's an hour; it was a last minute rescue..... Well, I like it.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Home-grown:

'Freaks And Geeks'

I don't know why I was so resistant to this series, even after I finally started watching it via IFC. I liked it a lot and recognized its genius in capturing the tone of that time, but I don't know if I would have stayed with it for long haul had it gone on to more seasons. Most impressive of course is the number of careers that were launched by the show.

Imported:

'Callan'

'Lord Peter Wimsey'

Sadly, the main reason I delved into these classic Brit series was because of the deaths of their leading actors, Edward Woodward and Ian Carmichael respectively. Two altogether different views of English life in crime fiction.....

BEST ADVANCEMENT FOR TOOBWORLD

The elevation in the status of Faerie, courtesy of 'True Blood'

BEST SERIES MARATHON ON DVD

'Foyle's War'

I resisted this series when it first came out because I didn't think I'd be interested in murder mysteries set during that time period, even though I was a big fan of 'Combat!' and 'Twelve O'Clock High'. What made it a must-see once I started watching was the performance of Michael Kitchen as Christopher Foyle - Foyle quickly rocketed to the top echelon of favorite TV characters.

BEST COINED WORDS and PHRASES

spermatorium - 'Better off Ted'
an insult directed at a co-worker

beflusterment - 'Psych'
bewilderment

Wincest - 'Supernatural'
fandom term for the relationship between the Winchester brothers

Walternate - 'Fringe'
The alternate dimensional version of Dr. Walter Bishop "Over There"

Innoventually - '30 Rock'
coined by Jack Donaghy to signify that once something eventually got done, it would be an amazing result. (I think.....)

phrase

"Dick-infested man mattress" - 'Better Off Ted'
another insult towards a co-worker

BEST ZONK OF THE YEAR

HG Wells is a woman! ('Warehouse 13')

Toobworld splainin: She was crazy. Helena was Herbert's sister (in Toobworld) and being a brilliant inventor wasn't enough for her - she tried to steal credit for his writing as well.

WORST ZONK OF THE YEAR

'Sherlock'

There is no way the world in which this version of Holmes and Watson works could be the main Toobworld. TV columnist and critic Alan Sepinwall said it best:

"[I]f Holmes and his methods are brand-new - and the London cops, as well as partner John Watson (Martin Freeman from the British “Office”), all act as if they’ve never seen anyone like him before - then is this a world without Dr. House, Gil Grissom, Temperance Brennan, Patrick Jane and all the other contemporary sleuths who owe a huge debt to Holmes’ superhuman powers of observation?"

Besides, the official version of Sherlock Holmes in Earth Prime-Time was played by Jeremy Brett and was set during the proper Victorian period (even though Ronald Howard and others played the role before him.)

Toobworld splainin: Cumberbatch's Holmes is the soul of Jeremy Brett's, trapped in a Limbo which is shared by the shows 'Lost', 'Ashes To Ashes' (as well as the original version of 'Life On Mars') and Richard Widmark's 'Madigan'. Like Gene Hunt, Holmes no longer looks like his true self as he shepherds new arrivals through this way-station between Life and the Afterlife. And his current "padiwan" is another Doctor John Watson. (We can interpret Watson's introduction as he awoke from a nightmare of war in Afghanistan to be his arrival in Limbo after he was killed during combat.)

Having said all that to satisfy my Toobworld needs, I put it all aside and just enjoy the series as presented by Messrs. Moffat and Gatiss.

ZONK QUOTE OF THE YEAR

"This is Carolyn Jones... like Morticia." ('Mad Men')

This was splained away here.

BEST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD

Spaced flash mob

The Doctor's appearance at the annual Proms

MOST TRIVIAL CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD

Filling in the census with race listed as "Vulcan"

WORST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD

Charlie Sheen actually became Charlie Harper - but not in a sitcom way.

WORST TV EXPERIENCE

Watching an episode of 'Hoarders' with my friend Michael.....

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A SHOW

'Terriers'

I really enjoyed the pilot episode; I'm always a fan of Donal Logue. But when I realized that this would be a series with at least one story arc, I had to bail. I'm burned out on making that kind of commitment and would much rather have some good old fashioned episodic TV which doesn't require a viewing commitment on my part.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A NETWORK

AKA "The Nibbled To Death By Ducks" award

The cancellation of 'Better Off Ted'
I
doubt it would have stood a chance even with a better time slot and more promotion, but at least ABC should have tried.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE GENERAL AUDIENCE
The lack of support in 'Better Off Ted'

The TV audience wouldn't recognize good comedy if it bit them on the ass. And as long as it happened to somebody else and not to them, getting bit on the ass would be their version of good comedy.

Paul Lynde played a character in an old sitcom ('That's Life') who said "People make me sick. I'm glad I'm not one of them."

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN MYSELF

I couldn't support 'Terriers'. Maybe I'm not as different from the unwashed masses as I hoped.

But it wasn't just 'Terriers'. Even though I enjoyed the pilot episode and the season finale, I couldn't bring myself to watch the middle four episodes of 'The Walking Dead'. And as much as I enjoyed the work of Scott Caan as a rebooted Dann-O in the 'Hawaii Five-O' pilot, I dropped that show before the next episode aired. I think the main reason is that working the Toobworld beat has become a curse - if I can't place a show in the main Toobworld, then I quickly lose interest in it, no matter how good the show's quality is, nor how much I enjoy watching some brain-munching zombies.

Thank jacklord this didn't prevent me from watching the 'Sherlock' movies or 'The West Wing' when it was on TV!

BEST CRITIQUE BY AN ONLINE COMMENTER

Tavie P

"I know they're unrelated, but I find it striking that over 40 years after the death of MLK we now have rallies to protest injustice toward... TV hosts..." (01/18/10)

WORST CRITIQUE BY AN ONLINE COMMENTER

Here We Go Again

by ant_monkey
Jan 1st, 2010

05:17:29 PM

Well. Here we go again. •Okay. So. I’m suddenly watching Babylon 5. No. Wait. Sorry. It's just everyday run of the mill shit CGI, besides, Babylon 5 was pretty good sometimes considering that they were using a Sinclair Spectrum and a wad of used toilet roll. •The super-advanced-god-like-scient ists run their most important decisions by a mad old witch. Who’s just babbling away, spouting nonsense as prophesy. Actually wasn’t there a sisterhood of Gallifreyan witches that were cast out countless centuries ago for being retarded? I thought that was a bit mean but then they did know that there was a hated Timelord brain just over the road who was super-duper, mega evil and being cared for by that fucking cock Solon who was trying to create a new body for him. And did NOTHING about it. For centuries. Yeah. Good choice of sounding board. •You can tell that the witch is really deep and spiritual despite her babbling illness because of all the Henna that she’s covered in. I didn’t see it but I’m sure she has one of those red thread bracelets things as well. It all adds deeper layers to her character. •Well he wasn’t going to kill one of the men was he? Fucking bitch should just keep her damned mouth shut. •Re-telling the schism story. The audience has now guessed what is going on but will inevitably have to wait half an hour for the characters to catch up. •The Master is everyone and everyone is the Master. Why are they taking his orders and not trying to kill him and take over? •Shoot the Master and you’ve won. Go on Wilf shoot him while he’s down. You have a gun and he’s unconscious. Shoot him. That’s what you were told you would have to do. You were all prepared to do it. At least make the fucking effort. Shoot him damn it. . . or just run away . . . *sigh* •Who needs a cloaking device when all you need to do is turn the fucking lights off. Can UNIT not afford a telescope? •Why are they flying over the sea instead of just going straight down? They’re in orbit after all. Is it a way of drawing the missiles away from populated areas or an excuse for some crap CG action? •War changes a person. It scars you. Takes away your humanity. You do things you’re not proud of because you have no choice and then have to live with the consequences of those very actions for the rest of your life. You never forget the horror that you’ve endured but more importantly, the horror that YOU inflicted on others. That’s why you always end up becoming a cunt. •Rassilon. The president of the Timelords is Rassilon. I can see the moment now. It’s as clear as day. The main man is sitting there at his computer writing the final episode and he suddenly realises: “Shit. I forgot to give the villain a personality, a motivation, a reason for being beyond simply not wanting to die. Wait. I know. I’ll make him Rassilon. NOW he has a personality and I didn’t even have to try. I’m brilliant I am. The fucking retards British public will love this” •Hera is someone really important to the Doctor. You can tell. It’s going to be a HUGE shock to us when he tells us who she was. •There wasn’t actually any real conflict. No hard choice that had to be made. All he had to do was turn the machine off. He probably didn’t even need to waste a bullet shooting the bloody thing. •Oh. It was Wilf knocking all the time. Oh god. Wilf’s in danger! This is absolutely gripping stuff right here. I’m on the edge of my seat. Hurry Doctor, hurry before it’s too late. Save poor, dear Wilf’s life. Hurry. There’s not much time left he’ll die very soon. Very soon Doctor. He will die very, very soon and only you can . . . ah fuck it. Just waffle on. •Hang on. Hang on. I’m sorry. Let me get all of this clear. He’s got enough time to wander back and forth through time doing all manner of nonsense before he regenerates but not enough time to find a receptacle to contain his regenerative juices thereby negating the need to regenerate? Are we absolutely sure that this wasn’t written by a spastic in a nuthouse sitting in it’s own faeces? •Peter Jackson has a lot to answer for here JUST FUCKING END PLEASE DEAR GOD JUST FUCKING DIE YOU WHINGING COCK. •I know I’ve said this before but this is the thing that is bugging me the most. He’s being all weepy, weepy about having to die but Rusty made sure that he doesn’t need to die. It’s established now and is canon. He doesn’t have to regenerate if he doesn’t want to. All he needs is something to channel the energy into. This is fucking retarded. It’s dumb. It’s really, really fucking dumb. •That’s genius that is. You create a mysterious character with mysterious motivations doing mysterious things who is clearly important to the Doctor and then you don’t tell the audience who. The fuck. She was. Even after the character the audience is supposed to be identifying with ASKS that very fucking question. Or maybe, just maybe she’s going to re-cur and we’ll slowly and surely learn whom this woman really is. I mean why else would you leave an important plot thread like that dangling? Unless you were a completely stupid cunt. •Rose fucking Tyler is back again. I bet Rusty typed this rubbish one handed. •Fucking Ood. •They are really, really struggling to fill the allocated time here. •“I don’t want to die”. This is really just the worst kind of cheap melodrama. They’re trying desperately for pathos and all we’re getting is pathetic. Please just die already. •“Change my dear. And not a moment too soon. That last life was a whinging twat”. And he started off with such promise despite the script quality. •Matt Smith. Kept hoping it was all just some elaborate subterfuge and that the Doctor was going to regenerate into an actor. Oh well. There’s not much there to really judge him on so I guess I’ll have to wait and see. Ah who am I kidding? I’m done with this panto. •No trailer just an Eight year olds Doctor Who graphic design for the new series. I honestly didn’t think they still made Blue Peter. Oh well. Good for him/her. •Is that your legacy Rusty? Is that it? Christ. Some would say that we should be thankful for you bringing Doctor Who back from oblivion. For giving SF a new lease of life on British TV but no. I’m sorry no. British SF used to be quite daring but now it’s just . . . this . . . •Went to the BBC website to check the above was roughly in the right order and there was a teaser for Smitty. He’s a bit of a battler this one punching, shooting and shouting oh my.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The regeneration from David Tennant to Matt Smith as the Doctor.

As always with the recasting of the Doctor in 'Doctor Who', the Gallifreyan Time Lord makes the honors list because the Toobits Awards doesn't do repeat nominations. But just so's ya know, Smith has jumped to the top four of my favorite Doctors (right up there with Troughton, Tom Baker, and Tennant!)

Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes.

It kills me that I can't have this exciting interpretation of the Great Detective in Earth Prime-Time but at least with my splainin, it is connected to the main Toobworld.

And there we are, the 2010 Toobits Awards. I hope you enjoyed them. Tough tiddles if you didn't.
BCnU!

CHARACTER REFERENCE - ICHABOD MUDD

I belong to a Facebook group which celebrates the classic sitcom 'Make Room For Daddy' and I was reminded recently of one reason I loved that show so much - Sid Melton's work as Charlie Halper.  (I've always had a soft spot for the comic sidekick.)  He's even eligible for the Television Crossover Hall Of Fame since he played Charlie in 'Make Room For Daddy', 'Make Room For Grand-Daddy', 'The Joey Bishop Show' and even in a Post Cereal commercial!

I would say that Charlie was Melton's most famous role in Toobworld, but I could also see the argument for Alf Munroe on 'Green Acres'.  And he had a slew of one-shot and recurring roles in a variety of sitcoms - 'The Dick Van Dyke Show', 'Petticoat Junction', 'The Munsters', 'That Girl', and 'I Dream Of Jeannie'.  (He did dramas as well like 'Mod Squad' and several characters for 'Dragnet'.)  For the recurring roles he was Friendly Freddie in 'Gomer Pyle USMC', Harry in 'Bachelor Father', Hal Miller in 'Oh, Susanna!', and Salvadore Petrillo in flashbacks of 'The Golden Girls'.  He also played Harry Cooper on 'It's Always Jan' and it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble that this Harry was the same Harry for 'Bachelor Father', but more research is needed.

But there is one regular character he played, for 27 episodes in fact, who seems to have been mostly forgotten save for the die-hard fans of classic television:

Ichabod "Ikky" Mudd*

'Captain Midnight'
["Bow ties are cool."]

Captain Midnight was a character who was a multiversal, living out his adventures in the Radioverse, the Cineverse, and in the world of comic books, as well as in Toobworld.  And in Toobworld, he was a multi-dimensional due to copyright entanglements outside of the Box.

Here's the Television segment from the Wikipedia entry for 'Captain Midnight':

The 'Captain Midnight' TV series, produced by Screen Gems and starring Richard Webb, began September 9, 1954, on CBS, continuing for 39 episodes until January 21, 1956. In the television program, 'Captain Midnight' (now a veteran of the Korean War) heads the Secret Squadron as a private organization, in contrast to the radio show. As with the Fawcett comic, the only other character of the radio show held over was Ichabod Mudd (played by Sid Melton), who was used for comic relief. Another regular character was Dr. Aristotle "Tut" Jones, Midnight's resident scientist, played by character actor Olan Soule. (Soule was the only actor to perform in both the radio program and the television program. In the radio program, he played Agent Kelly, SS-11.)

The aircraft featured in the series is the Douglas D-558-2 Skyrocket, named the Silver Dart, and was based on using both models and occasionally stock footage. The series filmed at the Ray Corrigan Ranch in Simi Valley, California. When the TV series went into syndication in 1958, Ovaltine was no longer the sponsor. However, The Wander Company owned the rights to the character's name "Captain Midnight," forcing a title change by Screen Gems from 'Captain Midnight' to 'Jet Jackson, Flying Commando', and all references in the episodes to 'Captain Midnight' were re-dubbed (rather poorly) "Jet Jackson."

For Toobworld, the splainin is simple.  'Jet Jackson, Flying Commando' was the same story playing out in an alternate TV dimension.  But in that alternate dimension - and I see no reason why it couldn't be the Evil Toobworld dimension - Captain Midnight must have lost his parents at an early age and was instead raised by a family named Jackson.  Over the years, perhaps due to his skills as a pilot during the Korean Conflict, he gained the nickname "Jet".  Otherwise, everything else about his life as the head of the Secret Squadron remained the same.  

Seeing as how that all took place in the Evil Toobworld, eventually Jet Jackson and his pal Ikky would have been killed off by some agent of darkness or another....

Meanwhile, back in the main Toobworld.....

I'm not going to bother trying to come up with left-field theories of relateeveety to connect Ichabod Mudd to any of the other Sid Melton characters as family members.  However, I will offer this splainin which could serve as inspiration to any fanficcers out there who might be interested in writing about this formerly minor character:

The Secret Squadron probably had a large support team, including researchers and computer experts.  And they probably discovered that Ikky had a lot of look-alikes all across the United States.  (It may have started when they saw the obituary for Salvadore Petrillo (apparently in the early 1950s?)  Discovering more look-alikes, the Secret Squadron research team "borrowed" their personal information to create new identities for Ikky to use in undercover missions that were not seen by the Trueniverse audience.

So have at it, if you are so inclined.  Haven't YOU always wanted to write that 'Captain Midnight' - 'Green Acres' crossover?

My thanks to fellow Iddiot Eliott Wagner for inadvertently inspiring this post.

BCnU!

* "That's 'Mudd' with two D's." - Ichabod Mudd

TUESDAY NEWS DAY - PERRY MASON RETURNS

Perry Mason is a multiversal.  He began “life” in about 80 novels and short story collections by former lawyer Erle Stanley Gardner before branching out into other metafictional universes:

• Perry Mason bibliography, novels and short stories written by Erle Stanley Gardner
• Perry Mason (theatrical film series), a series of 6 American films released in the 1930s. (The first four movies starred Warren William as Mason with Donald Woods and Ricardo Cortez each taking the role in the other two movies.)
• Perry Mason (radio), broadcast on CBS Radio from 1943–55
• Perry Mason (TV series), a 1957–1966 American legal drama television series broadcast on CBS Television with Raymond Burr as the lead.
• Perry Mason (TV film series), a series of 30 television film sequels to the CBS-TV series broadcast on NBC (1985–1995)  This also starred Raymond Burr, picking up twenty years after the original series.
• "Perry Mason", an Ozzy Osbourne song on the album Ozzmosis Here is the refrain:

“Who can we get on the case?
We need Perry Mason
Someone to put you in place
Calling Perry Mason againAgain, again, again”  

But never mind the lyric universe….

For Earth Prime-Time, the main Toobworld, Raymond Burr is the embodiment of the multiversal American lawyer Perry Mason.  But there should be a Perry Mason in all of the other TV dimensions as well  

Evil Toobworld had its own Mason as played by Monte Markham on CBS about a year after their long-running series went off the air.*  (I say it’s the Evil Toobworld because it was a bad idea to bring the show back so soon after the original left the air.)  
O'Bservation - In my Toobworld adventures, I was able to keep both of those Perry Masons in the same Toobworld.  All it took was a bent pinkie....

In the Tooniverse, you’d have to go back to the prehistoric age to find Perry’s doppelganger in Perry Masonry, thanks to 'The Flintsones'.

And now, Perry Mason is coming back in a new TV dimension….

From Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter:
Emmy-winning former ‘The Americans’ star Matthew Rhys has been tapped for the lead in Perry Mason, HBO’s limited series from Team Downey. Rhys will play the classic character in the reboot, which tracks the unorthodox investigator/defense attorney’s origin story. Perry Mason is in the process of hiring a director, and once a helmer is on board, the series is expected to head into production. 

Written and executive produced by Rolin Jones and Ron Fitzgerald, who also will show-run, the reimagined Perry Mason is set in 1932 Los Angeles. While the rest of the country recovers from the Great Depression, this city is booming! Oil! Olympic Games! Talking Pictures! Evangelical Fervor! And a child kidnapping gone very, very wrong! Based on characters created by Erle Stanley Gardner, the limited series follows the origins of American Fiction’s most legendary criminal defense lawyer, Perry Mason (Rhys). When the case of the decade breaks down his door, Mason’s relentless pursuit of the truth reveals a fractured city and just maybe, a pathway to redemption for himself. 

Rhys, who also will produce, is Perry Mason at a time in his life when he is living check-to-check as a low-rent private investigator. Mason is haunted by his wartime experiences in France and is suffering the effects of a broken marriage.

Apparently this new mini-series will be set in the same era as the original novels and those Warren William movies.  I think this should quell any die-hard Burristas who only see Raymond Burr in the role.  

But we shall see what we shall view.

BCnU!