THE 2010 TOOBITS AWARDS: PART THREE

Still more of the presentation of the 2010 Toobits Awards!

BEST LINE
I can never pick just one in this category......

But if I had to choose:

"Could you repeat that in English? I don't speak the language of the square-jawed cum puppets." - Phil, 'Better Off Ted' (uncensored version)

"If there's grass on the pitch, play ball!" - Jay Cartwright, 'The Inbetweeners'

"You snooze, you lose boobs." - Jeff, 'Chuck'

"The concept of extinguishing a human life is quite an arousal for me. It's called the Murder Boner." - Rafi, 'The League'

I don't know why they're all sex-related....

BEST SPEECH/MONOLOGUE
"To me, Van Gogh is the finest painter in the world. Certainly the most popular, great painter of all time, the most beloved. His command of color is magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world.... No one had ever done it before; perhaps no one ever will again.

"To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artists, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."
- Doctor Black,

'Doctor Who' - "Vincent And The Doctor"

BEST ZONK-FILLED SPEECH
"He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen."

-Barney Stinson, 'How I Met Your Mother'

BEST NEW THEME SONG
'The Ricky Gervais Show'

BEST MUSICAL MOMENT
DRAMA

"Abigail's Song" - 'Doctor Who' - "A Christmas Carol"

COMEDY
"Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit" - 'How I Met Your Mother'

BEST NEW TOOBWORLD LOCATION
Haplin, Minnesota - 'Happytown'

BEST NEW ALTERNATE TV DIMENSION
The Realm of the Fairies, 'True Blood'

This has theoretical connections to episodes of 'Supernatural' - "Clap Your Hands If You Believe" and 'The Twilight Zone' - "The Bewitchin' Pool"

BEST NEW FICTIONAL COUNTRY
San Lorenzo, 'Leverage'

According to Hardison, San Lorenzo was a British colony until it gained its independence in 1969. The official language is English (even though all the surnames are Spanish). Less than 300,000 people live on 120 square miles of island. The population of the capital city couldn't even fill the cheap seats at Fenway.

BEST FIGHT SCENE
Caroline/Echo & Clyde/Claire, 'Dollhouse' - "The Hollow Men"

This picture doesn't do it justice, but there were no clips available. Trust me - it was really kick-ass!

BEST EXIT FOR A CHARACTER
Sheriff Bud Dearborn, 'True Blood'

Once such a laid-back man, he filled the air with a litany of curses when he resigned on the spot after finding a mutilated corpse.

BEST DEATH SCENE
Jack Shepherd, 'Lost'

Not because he died, but because it was so heart-breakingly beautiful. And even after seeing it several times, I can no longer resist once Vincent shows up to lie by his side.

SADDEST DEATH SCENE
Elliot Milbarge, 'Chuck'
Yes, the guy was a jerk, but he didn't deserve to die - especially not that way. And then to have his death covered up so that his family - if he had any - would never know what happened to him....?

WORST DEATH SCENE
Tom, 'Persons Unknown'

Grisly.

BEST NEW FICTIONAL BOOK
"Internity" - 'Psyche'

Mostly because it was an audio-book version and we got to follow along with the story from this spoof of the "Twilight" series.....

BEST NEW FICTIONAL MOVIE
Actually, it's a series of movies all starring Raymond St. James. His filmography proved to be a definite health hazard in an episode of 'Warehous 13':

"Showdown At Laramie"
"Sword Of The Gladiator"
"Operation Dragon-Wolf"
"Dark Memento"
"Dr. Doomsday"
"I Return To Kill"