TV MOVIES - THE GOOD STUFF?

Here's a list, take it for what you will. I'm ashamed to admit I didn't even know a few of these existed - especially the remake of "The Lion In Winter"!

TV MOVIES THAT ARE ACTUALLY GOOD

(My thanks to Bill Crider!)

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: A DICKENS SUPER SIX LIST

THE BIRTHDAY BOY

Tuesday marked the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Dickens. Had I known in advance about that, I might have had something prepared for that day. But I was traveling back from Florida that day and had to return to work that night, so I just added the day to my vacation's fairy tale theme.

But better belated than never I never say, so here is a Super Six List of my favorite Dickens characters as seen on TV....

1) EBENEZER SCROOGE - "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol"

In my opinion, Quincy Magoo's portrayal of Scrooge is the greatest since Alistair Sim's in the movie universe. It's a stage production and not the actual Scrooge for the Tooniverse, which is why I gave credit to Magoo and not to Jim Backus as the voice of Magoo. (The animators get kudos, of course.)

2) MR. WILKINS MICAWBER - "David Copperfield"

I was first introduced to Micawber because of the portrayal by W.C. Fields back in the 1940's. (I was a big fan of William Claude Dunkenfield back in high school, but I never could splain why.) And then Sir Ralph Richardson, my favorite among the "Big Three" of the 20th Century acting giants from the UK (Olivier and Gielgud being the others in that triumvirate), took on the role for TV.  Since then, the character proved how popular he was by being "spun off" into his own TV series starring David Jason in the role.  (So we'll be coming back to Mr. Micawber later this year....)

3) SMALLWEED - "Bleak House"

It was this role that re-ignited my interest in the career of Phil Davis. When he first showed up on screen, I thought to myself, "THAT'S the kid from 'Quadrophenia'???"  His version of this crotchety old money-grubber is a perfect example of a Dickensian character.

4) ESTELLA - "Great Expectations"

Truthfully, I should have gone with Miss Havisham, but we already featured her last month for the literary edition of "As Seen On TV". And I would have preferred finding a picture of the eternally loverly Francesca Annis in the role from the late 1960's. But Vanessa Kirby in the more recent televersion is homina thrice material as well, even if she is allegedly heartless.

5) RIGAUD - "Little Dorrit"

This brutal beast of a man - as played by Andy Serkis - won the Toobits Award for the Best Male Villain a few years ago. His savagery actually repulsed me, and I'm usually a bit inured to that sort of monster as seen on the toob....

6) "CHARLES DICKENS" - 'Bonanza' ("A Passion For Justice")

I already mentioned that Mr. Dickens himself is a TV character, and as played at least three times by Simon Callow has been inducted into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame. (Pictured at the top is his most famous portrayal of the author, from the 'Doctor Who' episode "The Unquiet Dead". But Jonathan Harris of 'Lost In Space' fame also played Dickens in this classic TV Western.

However, although Dickens did travel to America for a lecture tour, he never made it past the Mississippi River (and 'Bonanza' takes place in Nevada.) And since Simon Callow is the official televersion for the writer in the main Toobworld, I have judged this man to be an imposter, which is why his name is in quotation marks. Nevertheless, it's a great performance within a performance (which brings us full circle from Magoo's Scrooge......)

The whole point of my Super Six List - my variation of a Top Ten List - is to set a limit for myself.  And in a case like this, I could have gone on and on.  Luckily the "As Seen On TV" showcase is all about the literary characters, so there's plenty of time to feature characters like Uriah Heep (Ron Moody), Fagin (George C. Scott), Inspector Bucket (Alun Armstrong), and the Ghost of Christmas Past (Joel Grey).......

BCnU!

EASTER EGG HUNT

I realize Easter was over a week ago - shut up.

Anyhoo......

NBC ran a promotional tie-in to not only Easter (which doesn't pay the bills) but also to the new movie "Hop" (which does). Over the course of the Thursday night comedies, on the eve before the movie's premiere, each sitcom had an Easter Egg "hidden" in the episode. Apparently there were prizes if you could find them all......

Out of the six episodes, I only found four of them. I watched 'Perfect Couples' and 'Outsourced' twice and never found their Easter Eggs.

But here are the four that I found.....

'COMMUNITY'

It was behind the "Pulp Fiction" briefcase on the table, glowing with the same golden light that emanated from inside the case in the movie.

'PARKS & RECREATION'

It's there on the bureau at the bed&breakfast, given its own spotlight from the lamp to make sure we saw it. But not all the shows made it that easy to find.

'THE OFFICE'

The Easter Egg was on the far end of Oscar's table (stage right, audience left), a dull purple dye job that made it harder to spot.

'30 ROCK'

This time it was placed in the background, on Jonathan's desk in the outer office.......

But there may have been a ringer egg earlier at Devon Banks' apartment.  That looks like an egg to me on the coffee table in the background.....

If you actually watched the NBC Thursday night line-up that week in order to find the Easter Eggs, please get in touch with me and let me know where they were in 'Outsourced' and 'Perfect Couples'. Thanks!

By the way, just in case you were wondering, I don't consider these to be links between the four series.  I realize I play fast and loose with Toobworld connections, so many of them theoretical, but this is too weak a reason to connect four.......

BCnU!

SUPER SIX LIST: NAMING THE LITTLE GUY

THE SUPER SIX LIST:

The Top Six TV Character Names That Could Be Nick-Names For The Penis

1] Hoss or Little Joe - 'Bonanza'
(Depending on the size and - if you're aiming for "Hoss" - girth)

2] Big Mike - 'Chuck'
(It helps if your name is Michael, but you better be able to back up your claim)

3] Manmeet - 'Outsourced'

(They knew what they were doing when they named his character, that phone center Lothario)

4] Frank Cannon - 'Cannon'

(Or if your initials are "T.V.", you can simplify it as "TV's Frank")

5] 'Peter Gunn'
(But if you're talking classic, you can't beat....)

6] Beaver Cleaver - 'Leave It To Beaver'
(That's right - leave it to beaver... unless you play for the other team)

Other names I could have used - Mike Stivic (you know, as in "Meat-Head"), Stretch Cunningham, Little Ricky, Big Eddie, Keen Eddie, Lonely (from 'Callan'), Top Cat, Herman Munster, Magnum, Dirty Sally (Hey, I don't judge....), the Big Giant Head, and Karl Pilkington.

Actually, that's not really a good nickname for the penis, but have you ever seen the cartoon version of that little round-headed buffoon? He looks like a penis!  In real life, his case isn't helped much by the image below.....

BCnU!

"Say good-night, Dick."

Dan Rowan

'Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In'

THE SUPER SIX LIST: NEVER-WAS TV

I was reading about how the never-finished 'Doctor Who' story "Shada" by the late Douglas Adams is being re-worked to be a novel, with the blessings of the Adams estate. And it got me thinking about some other TV show episodes that, for one reason or another, never were completed......

So I've put together a Super Six List of the more interesting examples, starting with the oldest one I could find:

1] 'BONANZA' In "The Ponderosa Birdman", Buster Keaton was scheduled to portray crackpot inventor Phineas T. Klump back in 1965. That was the one where Hoss Cartwright was supposed to be the guinea pig for an experimental flying device.

But Keaton raised too many objections about the script. He felt that his character should be the one to test the device out; that he could come up with some funny routines based on his old silent movie material. But as the producers pointed out, they needed the participation of one of the Cartwrights, or it wouldn't be a 'Bonanza' episode.

So then Keaton suggested that Little Joe would be the more logical since Michael Landon was smaller and lighter. Keaton tried to put a polite spin to it by saying that Dan Blocker was not "aerodynamically sound".

Again, the producers stepped in saying that the image of Hoss with wings would be funnier, but Keaton insisted that the basis of humor needed believability, and that a fat man with wings was not funny, just stupid. It was all the stage-hands could do to keep Dan Blocker from tackling Buster Keaton.

Ultimately, Keaton was paid off and let go. The producers brought in Ed Wynn to play Klump. (Coincidentally, Wynn had visited the set just a few days earlier to see his old friend.) Keaton never held a grudge about it and went off to make a few "Beach Blanket" movies instead.

2] 'COLUMBO'

While in England during the summer of 1972 to film establishing location shots for "Dagger Of The Mind" later that year, Peter Falk was introduced to Sir Laurence Olivier. Sir Larry let the star of 'Columbo' know that he would be delighted to get the opportunity to play a murderer on the American detective series. Eager to land the "Master Thespian" for a guest spot, the script for "Greenhouse Jungle" was hastily written with Olivier in mind to play Jarvis Goodland. Unfortunately, a computer glitch caused problems for Olivier in securing a work visa in time for the shooting schedule. Since Falk had worked with Ray Milland previously in the episode "Death Lends A Hand", he was brought in to play the role instead. It was a rush job, evident in Milland's performance, and was put on the schedule ahead of "Dagger Of The Mind".Sadly, the opportunity for Peter Falk to work with Laurence Olivier on 'Columbo' never presented itself again.

3] 'SOAP'

Halfway through the first season of 'Soap', producer Susan Harris made inquiries to Jackie Gleason's people to see if he would be open to the idea of playing a character on the soap opera spoof. It would have been nothing elaborate - she knew Gleason's reputation for wanting it all done in one take - and would have just been a recurring role leading up to the season finale cliff-hanger. Ms. Harris had it in mind for "The Great One" to play Judge Petrillo, who would preside over the murder trial for Jessica Tate. But Gleason was only interested in doing a cameo, as his own character of Reggie Van Gleason, and he wanted Witt/Thomas/Harris to bring the production down to Miami.

Susan Harris realized it would have been more trouble than it was worth, so the offer was withdrawn. Eventually Charles Lane was hired to play the role of Judge Petrillo.

(Rumor has it that Gleason was hoping to revive interest in Reggie Van Gleason for his own show. He thought the time was right, since there was so much fascination with the rich in the prime-time soaps, to use Reggie {his own personal favorite character} to mock the genre.)

4] 'SABRINA THE TEEN-AGE WITCH'

Salem Saberhagen was a sorcerer who was serving a term of punishment by being transformed into a black cat. For the most part, his time on 'Sabrina The Teen-age Witch' was spent tossing off one-liners from the sidelines.

Voiced by Nick Bakay, Salem was supposed to get his own spin-off series. But the pilot didn't test well with the research audiences. Remembering the ratings debacle of the pilot for 'Toonces, The Cat Who Could Drive A Car', the network didn't want to risk burning off the pilot by airing it and thus harming the character's potential on the parent series.

Instead, they killed the project and quietly re-edited certain scenes back into the 'Sabrina' series as a cost-cutting measure.

 

5] 'LEVERAGE'

During the first season of the con man series on TNT, a very special script was written for a very special guest - Patrick McGoohan. "The Six Days Of Christmas Job" was about a shopping mall Santa Claus who was targeted for murder and who may have been a spy but who retired from the business long ago.
  

The script was full of references to McGoohan's career - the action took place at the Village Mall, where the Santa had been hired by the firm's "Number Two"; the activity area for children had a giant inflatable white ball; and McGoohan's character's name was supposedly "Drake Rafferty". There would have been a variation on his famous "I am not a number; I'm a free man!" speech, and even the title of the episode carried a reference to his character from 'The Prisoner'.

(By the end, it would still remain a possibility that McGoohan was appearing as Number Six. But as was the case in never identifying Number Six as John Drake of 'Danger Man'/'Secret Agent', it was deliberately left vague to avoid paying a license fee.) Unfortunately, McGoohan was only around long enough to be fitted for a costume and pose for a few publicity photos before he took ill. He died in January of 2009. The producers later took that script and reworked it for a 2010 episode, "The Ho Ho Ho Job".

6] 'SUPERNATURAL'

Earlier this year, an over-zealous writer and associate producer for the CW series 'Supernatural' had an idea for an episode that continued the meta humor standard set by earlier episodes "Changing Channels" and "The French Mistake". This time, he was hoping to develop a script in which the Winchester boys were given advice by a witch as they tried to save her grand-daughter and stop a hostile take-over of the Witches' Council.

And it wouldn't have been just any witch, but the most famous witch in all of TV Land. Samantha Stephens!

Astute readers of this blog will know that Elizabeth Montgomery, the actress who played Sam on 'Bewitched', passed away nearly sixteen years ago. Not that this writer saw that as a deterrent - apparently he previously worked on the 1990's HBO comedy series 'Dream On' which used clips from old Universal TV shows.  He was planning to use selected scenes from 'Bewitched' which would contain appropriate dialogue from the character of Samantha Stephens for "conversations" with Sam and Dean. (A recurring joke would have been for both Samantha and Sam to reply "Yes?" whenever Dean said "Sam".)

It appears he certainly did his home-work.  The plan was to utilize a plot point from the sitcom - that when a witch was close to death or losing her powers, she had to transform herself into something that would continue to be useful. Witches of 'Bewitched' had been transformed into objects before - chairs, bedpans.... (I once suggested that the house of Bartlett Finchley in 'The Twilight Zone' episode "A Thing About Machines" was full of objects that were actually transformed witches.)

The premise was established in a 'Bewitched' episode, "The Corn Is As High As A Guernsey's Eye", where Aunt Clara's powers were waning and she felt the time was right to follow the mandate to transform. (Samantha thought she then turned herself into a cow.)

In the proposed script outline for 'Supernatural', Samantha Stephens had become too ill for even Dr. Bombay to cure. And so at some point after the series ended, she tearfully said good-bye to her family and then used her powers to transform herself into something useful.

A television's remote control.

Sam and Dean Winchester confer with Samantha Stephens on their TV

And it was a universal remote, able to work on any TV. That way, she could "stay on the move" and be seen on any TV set, and the producer could also use black and white footage from the early years on a black and white TV.
 
See, Samantha was smart - she saw this as a way to remain in contact with her family there in Westport, Connecticut. But somehow the remote control was stolen and Sam Winchester eventually came into its possession. And with Samantha's help, as she popped up on whatever video monitor was nearby, Sam and Dean would be able to put down a plot against the Witches' Council and rescue Samantha's grand-daughter. (The character's name was Lizbeth as a tip of the hat to Elizabeth Montgomery. But apparently it was Elspeth in an early draft.)

The twist to the episode was that it turned out Lizbeth was the mastermind behind the plot against the Witches' Council. In order to protect her from a more serious fate, Samantha and Tabitha had no choice but to punish her with transformation - into a framed photograph of herself. (My source tells me that in the script, Tabitha explained that they didn't make the same choice as Samantha did because Lizbeth was being punished - and that meant no TV privileges. Also, Dean mutters as they leave that it was creepy the way her eyes followed him across the room.)

My source for this information also said that the original script called for her to be transformed into a bowling ball so that she could still be part of the family routine of bowling night. [Tabitha married a mortal - like mother, like daughter.] But then the writer realized Dad would be sticking his finger in the holes. It was bad enough that Sam Winchester was always fingering Samantha's buttons on the remote.....

The writer was so confident that the script would work that he contacted Sony Pictures on his own for permission to use the clips. He even put together a demo film of Sam and Dean "talking" with Samantha, using the two lighting stand-ins for Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles as substitutes to play the Winchesters in the scene. He also hired the actress he had in mind for playing Lizbeth. (I recognized her from the very grainy bootleg I saw - it's either Keri Lynn Pratt or Kirsten Prout. I'm always getting those two confused.)

But he didn't run the idea by the executive producers of 'Supernatural' first. So they were blind-sided when Robert Foxworth and Elizabeth Montgomery's family approached show creator Eric Kripke personally to lodge a complaint against the idea.

I'd tell you the name of this writer, but he was fired over the incident and I don't want to embarrass him even further. Besides, I'm sure you can look through the credits of the series on IMDb and see which writer/producer is no longer attached to the show.

The funny thing was, Sony Pictures was keen on the idea. (They also okayed the appearance of Bernard Fox as Dr. Bombay on 'Passions' during the 35th anniversary of 'Bewitched'.) And it looks like Fox and Erin Murphy (as Tabitha) would have been available to make cameos as their characters. But the protests by Ms. Montgomery's loved ones would have been publicity they just didn't need.  
So those are my choices for the top six TV show episodes that never saw the light of the broadcasting day.....

BCnU!

AND THEN THERE'S MAUDIE.....

Before I undertook this project over the weekend, I had taken Ms. Prickett for granted whenever I saw her in a TV show episode. But I've now come to appreciate what she had to offer, just as I did with Mabel Albertson (whose special project I'm still working on).

So I think it safe to say that if I were to compile a Deep Six list of favorite character actresses in Toobworld (and I was considering it for today's project, but I didn't want to commit myself), she'd definitely be on it.

In a way, this also turned out to be a Hat Squad tribute to her as well.....

And so endeth Maudie Monday. BCnU!

SUPER SIX: TV TOPICS THAT WENT THROUGH MY MIND DURING YESTERDAY'S "PROCEDURE"

These are the "Super Six"* TV topics that went through my mind during yesterday's "procedure".....

1] KATIE COURIC

2] THE TRAPPED CHILEAN MINERS NEWS STORY... AS REPORTED BY KATIE COURIC

3] THE BAJORAN WORMHOLE

4] "TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE....." (THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF ME GOES "HI HONEY, I'M HOME!")

5] GLENN BECK

6] "THESE AREN'T THE ROIDS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR."

BCnU!

* This feature used to be called "Deep Six". That might have been more appropriate this time......

SUPER SIX: KEEPING COMPANY WITH "THE WEST WING"

Those of you who understand the Toobworld concept knows that we had to invoke 'Sliders' and put the instant classic 'The West Wing' into its own TV dimension because the President of the United States - the central character of the series! - differed from the one established in Earth Prime-Time. Toobworld has to have the same POTUS as the real world; too many shows will end up referencing the current holder of the office. (This week's season-ending episode of 'The Closer' is a good example with their mention of Obama.)

But 'The West Wing' doesn't have to reside in its TV dimension all by its lonesome. Here's a Super Six list of shows that would fit in nicely with the administration of Matt Santos (whom I assume is still the Commander in Chief of that world....)

1] 'MR. STERLING'
Although it never came up in the show, and could have benefitted from a crossover, this series was meant to be considered as being part of the 'West Wing' world.

2] 'SMALLVILLE'
Why shouldn't a world with Jed Bartlet also have Clark Kent as well? But if Superman did exist in the 'West Wing' world, couldn't he have saved that ship that was lost at sea during a hurricane? This is why 'Smallville' is the TV version of the Superman mythos that best suits 'The West Wing'. Clark Kent was still learning about his Kryptonian powers and had not asssumed the identity of the Man of Steel while Bartlet was in office.

3] 'CASTLE'
Their New York City has a black mayor named Bill. Thanks to 'Law & Order', '30 Rock', and a Muppets Christmas special, real world NYC mayor Mike Bloomberg also holds that post in the main Toobworld. 'Castle' might even be bumped from the world of 'The West Wing' if they end up mentioning Obama as the President.

4] 'BATTLESTAR GALACTICA' (THE REBOOT)
It doesn't matter that the remake of the sci-fi original was considered the better series. The first 'Battlestar Galactica' made more connections with other series in the Great Link - with 'McCloud', 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman', and with its own spin-off, 'Galactica 1980'. As the reboot landed on Earth in the prehistoric past, it doesn't interfere with the history played out during Bartlet's term.

5] 'HUMAN TARGET' (THE REBOOT)
I once harbored hopes that both versions of 'Human Target' could exist in the main Toobworld. But that was before they introduced a different Queen Elizabeth of England - with a daughter who was the Princess of Wales and next in line for the throne.

But that would work perfectly for 'The West Wing' dimension. Lionel Tribbey mentioned that he had met with that world's Queen Elizabeth and at the time it was probably just assumed that he was talking about the same woman who sits on the throne in the real world and the main Toobworld. But now we can assume that he was referring to the woman seen in an episode of this series....

6] 'MISS MARPLE' & HERCULE POIROT
Just as 'The West Wing' dimension should have its own Superman, so too should it have its own versions of Agatha Christie's most famous sleuths. Joan Hickson will be the official Jane Marple of the main Toobworld, but Geraldine McEwan, her successor, would fit in nicely with the quality of the 'West Wing' world. (No need to wonder just yet as to where Julia McKenzie's version might end up.)

As for the Belgian detective, there can be no other than David Suchet's portrayal to exercise his little grey cells in Toobworld. But Peter Ustinov portrayed Poirot in at least one TV movie - and he could bring along those big screen outings from the Cineverse. After all, the movie universe already has Albert Finney's version (and Tony Randall's to boot!)

What shows would you suggest for the world of 'The West Wing'?

BCnU!

SUPER SIX: THE WORST JOBS IN TOOBWORLD

It's Labor Day, the time when we salute the American workforce. And that's why this Super Six list is going to take a look at a few of the thankless jobs to be found in Toobworld:

1) Security officer on the starship Enterprise in 'Star Trek'

It's a simple formula. Red Shirt = Expendable

2) Secretary for 'Murphy Brown'

The 'FYI' newswoman was notorious for firing her secretaries, usually just for some off-beat personal quirk but also for their incompetence. My friend Mary Cadorette played the very first secretary seen in the series, Sherry French. (That pilot episode had three altogether, culminating with the late great Kathleen Freeman.) Eventually many of them came back and kidnapped Murphy to put her on "trial" for the way she treated them (in the ninth season episode "Defending Your Life").
3) Mayor of Rome, Wisconsin ('Picket Fences')

When the Dancing Bandit was offered the opportunity to serve as the town's mayor rather than serve out her jail term, she saw it as a death sentence. One mayor died from spontaneous combustion; another was conked over the head with a frying pan and locked in a deep freezer; a third, already suffering from age-related dementia, was shot in the back of the head by his own son.

4) Henchman in Gotham City vs. 'Batman'

Let's face it - Crime doesn't pay.

5) Prosecuting attorney vs. 'Perry Mason' or 'Matlock'

I don't know how these people were able to keep their jobs, after losing so often to defense attorneys Perry Mason and Ben Matlock. Hamilton Burger was able to savor the sweet taste of victory only once in his series, but eventually Mason snatched it away from him. Oh well. At least he never slept with Mason like ADA Julie March probably did with Matlock......

6) Human resources representative for Dunder Mifflin at 'The Office'

I'd feel sorry for anybody who found themselves to be Michael Scott's nemesis, even if their name wasn't Toby.....
Have a happy Labor Day, every-a-body!

THE SUPER SIX: MARK TWAIN

Recasting due to the aging of a character is given leeway in Toobworld, and we run the gamut with Samuel Clemens - from a young man to the crotchety old raconteur we think we know best.

These portrayals of Mark Twain by these actors are all acceptable to be the real Samuel Clemens:

ROBIN DUNNE
"ROUGHING IT"
KEN HOWARD
'BONANZA'
KEVIN McCARTHY
'THE RIFLEMAN'
JERRY HARDIN
'STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION'
JAMES GARNER
"ROUGHING IT"
HAL HOLBROOK
"MARK TWAIN TONIGHT!"

BCnU!

QUICKSAND - THE GOOD OLD DAYS

My Super Six list from the other day dealt with quicksand in TV shows.

Here's a classic scene from 'Cheyenne' that uses quicksand. (Embedding was disabled, so you'll have to click the link.....)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czo_S3sdDUk

BCnU!