Monday, April 4, 2005



Ordinarily, a TV crossover is supposed to work as a team; one half of the crossover should be in support of the other, either beginning or finishing off a shared storyline.

Normally, one wouldn't expect the crossover to be at cross purposes with itself.

But that's what happened with the Crossover Of The Week on this past Thursday.......

The challenge for the two teams competing on 'The Apprentice', Net Worth and Magna, was to create a new pizza sensation for Domino's. Why? Probably because Domino's poured a ton of money into the show's production to get some product placement publicity out of the deal.

The episode also marked Donald Trump's debut as the commercial spokesman for Domino's, at least for two blipverts which would trumpet the new "American Classic Cheeseburger" pizza. (Whoop-ti-doo. It sounds like their Bacon Cheeseburger pizza but with added layers of tomatoes and onions and three cheeses.)

This occurs, by the way, nearly ten years after Trump sold himself out to be the spokesman for Pizza Hut's Stuffed Crust Pizza in an ad that he did with his wife at the time, Ivana. Ya gotta wonder if he'll be whoring himself out for yet another pizza company in a decade and with yet another trophy wife on his arm.

And now for the tasty extra: like a virus attacking the host body from within, the crossover occurred during the episode itself, in the form of a commercial from rival pizza-maker Papa John's. It reminded me of one of those trash-talking answer songs from back in the early sixties.....

The delivery chain aired a 30 second spot during the show which featured John Schnatter, founder and chairman of Papa John's, in a boardroom setting that was meant to evoke the image of Trump in his lair.

"Why eat a pizza made by apprentices when you can call the pros at Papa John's?" he asks. And considering the jerks that toady to curry favor with Trump, it's a valid question.

(Ewwwww. Now I can't get the image of a Domino pizza with the flavor of curried toad out of my head. Maybe a Crunchy Frog from the Whizzo Quality Assortment might get rid of the taste.)

I hope it was considered a big black eye for Trump. (Personally I think he should have been hawking a different flavor for his pizza - jerk sauce.) Although he kept harrumphing that they were doing a meatball pizza on his say-so - after all, as far as he's concerned, the show is still "the hottest show on television." Yeah, right. Peddle that paper to 'Desperate Housewives' or 'Lost'! - Domino's stuck to their guns and pushed the Classic Cheeseburger flavor instead. Apparently, their marketing meat-heads claimed that meatball pizzas aren't staggeringly popular in the manor, squire.

I'm sorry. Did I call them meat-heads? That was an insult... to Mike Stivic.

I meant yam-heads.


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