TWIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES - THE DOCTOR'S ROAMIN' PUSSY

Roamin' Cat Prints

A paw print made by a cat in Roman times has been discovered on a 2,000 year old roof tile in Gloucester.

It was dug up in Berkeley Street in 1969 but the footprint has only just been discovered.

The print was found by an archaeologist at Gloucester City Museum who was examining thousands of fragments of Roman roof tile.

The cat is thought to have snuck across the wet tiles which were drying in the sun in about 100 AD.

The tile, a type called tegula, was used on the roof of a building in what became the Berkeley Street area of modern Gloucester, a spokesman said.

Councillor Lise Noakes, from Gloucester City Council, said it was a "fascinating discovery".

"Dog paw prints, people's boot prints and even a piglet's trotter print have all been found on tiles from Roman Gloucester, but cat prints are very rare," she said.

What was a cat doing up on that roof back in the year 100?  

According to one History of Cats Timeline, "They were introduced to Britain around 100 AD and were protected by Law by the King of Wales, Hywel Dda as sacred and valuable animals. Killing a cat could again be punishable by death."

But according to an unfortunately entitled blog - "The Cuddlywump Cat Chronicles" - there is an interesting article about when the cats were first introduced in England and who might have been responsible for their arrival. 

"If the Romans did not deliver Britain’s first domestic cats, who did? Well, no one knows for sure."

What if it was the Doctor?

We know the Tenth Incarnation of the Doctor disliked cats, although he did have a soft spot for the hybrid children of Brannigan and his human wife Valerie.  His aversion to cats may have come from an earlier, unseen encounter with the Sisters of Plenitude who were members of the Catkind.

With the personality quirk revision in his next regeneration, the Eleventh Incarnation not only tolerated them, but was able to speak to them in their language.  (When we saw this on-screen, it could be that the Doctor was talking to a transformed warlock, a common fate for malfeasant magickers.)

The Doctor returns home at the end of the day and happens upon a cat that he sent upstairs; he learns from the cat that there are many people up there who have never come back down. Craig, who is playing darts, overhears the Doctor and looks out the peephole to see the Doctor speaking to the cat. This being the final straw with all his oddness, Craig opens the door and asks the Doctor to leave.
[TARDIS DATA CORE]

Craig: 

I can’t take this anymore. I want you to go. 

You can have this back in whole.

The Doctor: 

What have I done?

Craig: 

For a start, talking to a cat.

The Doctor: 

Lots of people talk to cats.

~~~~

The Doctor: 

I’ve worked it out with psychic help from the cat.

Amy: 

Cat?

The Doctor: 

Yes. I know.

The Ninth Incarnation of the Doctor also had no problem with talking to cats......

And it's likely the Sixth Incarnation of the Doctor liked cats.  After all, he wore a cat pin on the lapel of his hideous jacket.  (Although it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that you never noticed because there were.... distractions.  Nudge nudge wink wink!)

Maybe one of the incarnations of the Doctor had a sentient cat as his Companion?  One that used to be a warlock.)  And when the TARDIS landed on that roof (those tiles which could have had impressions of the TARDIS base were probably destroyed), the cat may have leapt out to begin exploring.  

Maybe... maybe not.  Everything's pozz'ble in Toobworld.

Allons-y!

ANOTHER LINEAR TIMELINE

Here's another linear timeline for 'Doctor Who', but it's failing in one large significant detail - it doesn't take into account any of the earlier incarnations of the Doctor from the classic series.  So many great events are missing without them involved.

But for what is, this video is fun....

FANFICCERS' FRIEND - SWAPPING VISAGE

This picture is courtesy of a great Facebook page, "Doctor Who and the Tardis - The Classic Years":

Had this picture of Anthony Ainsley as the Master and Tom Baker as the Doctor not been adulterated, we couldn't use it for Toobworld fanfic.  It is already a moment locked in Prime-Time.  (It happened in the final chapter of the story "Logopolis".)

Photoshopping has become a matter of course online now and Toobworld Central has to keep up with the times.  So we can see this as being a pozz'ble event in the life of the Doctor, but it's not definite.  We accept the picture as a launch for fanfic, but not declaring it as actually having happened.

For anyone wanting to use this picture to inspire and illustrate any fanfic story based on it, I hope you'll make sure to send me a copy or at least the link so that I can read it online.

Could they have had a run-in with The Wire in its escape from custody?  The Wire could have stolen their faces but in making its escape from the Atraxi, it had to jettison them too quickly.  This would be why they were returned to the wrong bodies.

Can you think of a better reason for what happened within the TV Universe?  Write it up and share it with me!

BCnU!

THE DOCTOR AND 007 - FOR YOUR TWO HEARTS ONLY

As his tenure as the show runner for 'Doctor Who' begins to wane, Steven Moffat has thrown out some ideas for episodes which he never got to produce.  One of these is having the Doctor to team up with Bond.  James Bond.

He told the press:

"Doing a James Bond/'Doctor Who' for Christmas? Well, I'm running out of Christmases to do!  [But] I'd like 'Doctor Who' to meet the real James Bond, that'd be awesome. They wouldn't get on at all. He'd shag his assistant!"

Looking at it from the Toobworld Dynamic perspective, it would be damned hard to do.  James Bond is a Multiversal like the Doctor and his first portrayal outside of the Fleming books was in a 1950s anthology series, an adaptation of "Casino Royale".

But the first James Bond was an American and ever since his portrayers have been the actors from the movies, but usually seen in commercials.

The Toobworld splainin for all of this is that "Jimmy Bond" was an American secret agent, but that MI6 adopted the name as a cover for their very best agent in the field after the original was "deactivted"*.  When that "James Bond" retired (or was killed off), then another agent would take on that alias and continue the work.  

The actors chosen for the movies were specifically cast in the role because they resembled the actual agent currently in the field.  That was all part of the plan by the shadow organization which I have dubbed "UNreel" whose mission is to keep the public "disinformed" about real-life events and people which need to be kept secret.

So when James Bond escorted the televersion of the Queen to the 2012 London Olympics, the general public assumed that it was really Daniel Craig acting as 007.  It was a retired "James Bond" who intervened in a car chase to help UNCLE agent Napoleon Solo when he was in dire straits.  (He may have retired early because he had developed serlinguistic tendencies, as displayed during the car chase.)

If the televersion of James Bond ever were to team up with the Doctor, the cost - between getting the rights to do so and hiring the current actor in the role - would probably be prohibitive.  It would be more likely that the Powers That Be create their own secret agent character just as they have done with the superhero genre by coming up with The Ghost for the Christmas special.  (You know they would have loved getting the chance to team the Doctor up with Superman!)

They could at least cut that cost by hiring some other actor to take on the role of James Bond.  We could splain that away by saying the James Bond who resembled Daniel Craig is no longer on the job in Toobworld.  Or to make it really confusing, the whole pretense has been a triple blind - the actors on the screen resemble the spies claiming to be James Bond.  But there is a real James Bond operating behind the scenes with those other spies drawing attention away from him.

Ow.  My head.

So that was probably just wishful thinking on the Grand Moffat's part.

Nice picture to go with the Digital Spy story though......

BCnU!

* Take "deactivated" to mean whatever you want.  He could have reitred, died, or was abducted to "The Village".  "BCnU", indeed.....

SILENCE IN THE CITY OF DEATH

'DOCTOR WHO'
"CITY OF DEATH"

DOCTOR:
The Mona Lisa.
ROMANA:
It's quite good.
DOCTOR:
Quite good? That's one of the great treasures of the universe and you say quite good?
ROMANA:
The world, Doctor, the world.
DOCTOR:
What are you talking about?
ROMANA:
Not the universe in public, Doctor. It only calls attention.
DOCTOR:
I don't care. It's one of the great treasures of the universe!
ROMANA:
Shush!
DOCTOR:
I don't care. Let them gawp, let them gape. What do I care?

Romana looked around behind her and upon turning back, she splained to the Doctor that he was drawing attention to themselves.  Being a Time Lady, her mind was more adept at coming up with such a reason so quickly. 

But what I think really made her turn around to look behind her was the member of the Silence that was in the Louvre observing both of the Gallifreyans.  Only by the time she turned back to the Doctor and the "Mona Lisa", she had forgotten its presence yet still quickly came up with a valid excuse.

BCnU!

NOT ONE LINE! (OR IN THIS CASE, LION)

'KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER'

"THEY HAVE BEEN THEY ARE, THEY WILL BE"

Recently I wrote about the Chicago Cubs - without a World Series win since 1908 until finally breaking the curse this year.  But back in the early 70s, they had a fifty/fifty chance of winning against the Red Sox, who were also on their own long losing streak (until 2004.) But neither of them could win in Toobworld, even when divergences were allowed, because of the dialogue in other, later, shows that cemented the fact that both teams were long denied the championship.

'PRIMEVAL'

"EPISODE 6"

The entire Toobworld timeline was totally rewritten by the ex-wife of Professor Nick Cutter.  Because of Helen Cutter, Earth Prime-Time lost TV characters like Claudia Brown ('Primeval'), President of the United States Henry Talbot McNeil ('Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea'), and Chuck Cunningham ('Happy Days').  

Actually... I used to claim that Chuck had been murdered by his younger sister, the mad-eyed Joanie, and that she made it look like he robbed the family before running away.  This is of course the reason why Howard only referred to the two children he still had when saying grace.

Other characters who disappeared entirely may have had their lives absorbed in the Crack of Time.  

'DOCTOR WHO'

"THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN"

From the TARDIS Data Core:

In the real world, the Detroit Lions are an American football team who have never made it to the Super Bowl. The episode provides no context for this victory. Though the "modern day" elements of the story are explicitly set in 2012, the paper's date is never revealed. Is Amy reading that day's Record? Maybe, but we just don't know for sure, since Amy and her friends are time travelers. If it is a 2012 newspaper, though, it would be further evidence of the divide between the DWU and the real world: the New York Giants actually won the 2012 Super Bowl.  

And so this would be another example of the reboot of Toobworld's timeline.  The Doctor, Amy, and Rory visited the NYC of 2012 in the original timeline.  But Helen Cutter's temporal futzing made the Lions' Super Bowl win vanish and the Giants became that year's Champeens.

BCnU!

PRIMORDIAL SOUP'S ON!

'DOCTOR WHO'

"CITY OF DEATH"

(The Doctor dips his hand in a nearby pool and stands up with dirty fingers.)

DOCTOR:
The amniotic fluid from which all life on Earth will spring, where the amino acids fuse to form minute cells. Cells which eventually evolve into vegetable and animal life. You, Duggan. 

(The Doctor taps some of the sludge into Duggan's hand, and throws the rest back into the pool.)

DUGGAN:
I come from that, that soup?

DOCTOR:
Yes. Well, not that soup exactly. It's inert. There's no life in it yet. It's waiting on a massive dose of radiation.

The thing is that got me wondering....  By touching it, did some of the Doctor's - and for that matter, Duggan's - epithelials contaminate the potential primordial soup?  Once irradiated, were they somehow imprinted into the future version of mankind that would develop on Earth Prime-Time?  

(Remember Earth Prime-Time is not the TV Earth that was created by God.  That would be Mondas.)

And if that's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, then what effect could the contact of Scaroth's body have on that primordial soup?  Could his epithilials have led to the creation of the Saurians?  Or maybe be summoned by the Old Ones from the vestigial DNA found inside Professor Peabody to create his new form?

Inquiring minds want to know....

BCnU!

SPIKE MILLIGAN & THE PAKISTANI DALEKS

It's time for lunch.  Anyone for curry?

Geronimo!

FROM "ELEVENTH HOUR" TO "THE BEAST BELOW"

RIVER SONG'S TIMELINE, DE-WIBBLY-WOBBLIED

This video provides a linear timeline for the life of River Song, from newborn to the end.  And beyond.

Unfortunately, some key scenes are missing - not so much because they show River Song, but because they provide the splainin needed for those who don't normally follow the show so religiously.  I would have fleshed it out in order to splain away those gaps.

BCnU!