AS SEEN ON TV: RITA HAYWORTH

Kicking off Inner Toob's Video Weekend.....

RITA HAYWORTH

AS SEEN IN:
"Rita Hayworth: The Love Goddess"

AS PLAYED BY:
Linda Carter

One of these videos is a mash-up of Ms. Carter's roles as both Rita Hayworth and as Diana Prince/'Wonder Woman'. But at least the Rita Hayworth material is intact and not intercut with scenes from the super-hero series....

BCnU!

ZOOLANDER TOOB

It may only be Skitlandia, but this past edition of 'Saturday Night Live' may have locked in the Toobits Award for Best Movie to TV Crossover.

During the "Weekend News Update" segment, Ben Stiller appeared as his character of Derek Zoolander during Stephon's report on the hottest clubs in the City.

He was the only character from the movie "Zoolander" to appear, so the bit wasn't diluted by cast members filling in for Hansel and Mathilda and the like. (Although I wouldn't be surprised if Will Ferrell was willing to appear as Jacobim Mugatu.) The "Pulp Fiction"/"Reservoir Dogs" take on 'Welcome Back, Kotter' may have featured John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino and Michael McKean and David S. Lander as Lenny & Squiggy from 'Laverne & Shirley', but everybody else in the sketch was played by a cast member. So that was a bastard stepchild in comparison.

Zoolander already made two appearances on television, one of them a short film for the VH1 Fashion Awards. These could be part of the main Toobworld, or they could belong in Skitlandia as well.

BCnU!

TOOBWORLD TAKE-AWAY: "NEW GIRL"

Here's another tele-quickie review for one of the new shows in the Fall 2011 TV season:

'NEW GIRL'

I was prepared to like this show. I'm a fan of Zooey Deschanel, moreso than of her sister who's on some other show - oh, what's her name on whaddyacallit?

I found the pilot to be great - as a self-contained one 'n' done story with the guys coming to the rescue of their new roommate.

But there's the rub - the story continues.

By the time I got around to the second episode, I now had the third in my queue as well. I got about five minutes into that second one - ten, tops - when I decided: nope, not for me. And so I erased it and the third one as well.

That awakening came when she bounced the basketball and destroyed the TV. True, that image was traumatic enough for one such as I, but it got me thinking - this 'New Girl' is the Lucy for a new millennium, and that first one with three indelible sitcoms to enforce the image (not ever counting 'Life With Lucy'!) was more than enough.

There were better things to do in my viewing life.

There's another reason I bailed - I had enough of the character Schmidt and his penchant to peel off his T-shirt. I don't care if he raised enough money to cure cancer with all the donations he made to the Douchebag Jar; I was done with him.

I will give 'New Girl' thanks, however, for adding to the Toobworld lexicon. "Adorkable" - probably the Toobits Award winner for Best New Coined Word for this year.

I will be interested in the sitcom for events outside the box - it's been yanked from the schedule, after posting impressive numbers in its first few weeks out, until late November because of FOX's commitment to the World Series. I've seen this tactic kill other shows in the past even if they had a following beforehand. So it'll be interesting to see if 'New Girl' survives the Big Hiatus.

Final analysis - A good sitcom that could be worth dropping in to visit on occasion, but not one for making the commitment.  And there's nothing to keep it from remaining in Earth Prime-Time.  They even replaced the character of Coach* from the pilot with a whole new character without just turning him into a recastaway.

BCnU!
 
* Damon Wayans Jr. already had a sweet gig with 'Happy Endings' on ABC......

AS SEEN ON TV: PRINCE ALY KHAN

PRINCE ALY KHAN

{with Rita Hayworth}

AS SEEN IN:

"Rita Hayworth: The Love Goddess"

AS PLAYED BY:

Aharon Ipalé

TV DIMENSION:

Earth Prime-Time

From Wikipedia:
Prince Ali Solomone Aga Khan (June 13, 1911 – May 12, 1960), known as Aly Khan was a son of Aga Khan III, the head of the Ismaili Muslims, and the father of Aga Khan IV. A socialite, racehorse owner and jockey, he was the third husband of actress Rita Hayworth. After being passed over for succession as Aga Khan, he served as Pakistan's representative to the United Nations, where he became a vice president of the General Assembly.

On 27 May (civil) and 28 May (religious) 1949, in Cannes, France, Aly Aga Khan married the American movie star Rita Hayworth. She was then pregnant with their only child, Princess Yasmin Aga Khan, who was born seven months later. (Hayworth also brought Aly a stepdaughter, Rebecca Welles, by her previous marriage to Orson Welles.)

At the wedding, "500 guests from the United States and Europe feasted on 50 pounds of caviar, 600 bottles of Champagne and other gourmet delights around a swimming pool scented with 200 gallons of eau de Cologne." The couple intended to have another marriage ceremony in India, but the plan was cancelled because Hayworth's pregnancy had become too obvious. Aly Khan and Rita Hayworth separated in 1951 and filed for divorce the same year; the suit was dropped in 1952. Eventually, however, the couple were divorced in April 1953, due in part to his infidelities.

Due to his well-publicized romances, Prince Aly Khan was mentioned in a verse of Noel Coward's new 1950s lyrics for Cole Porter's 1928 song "Let's Do It, Let's Fall in Love": "Monkeys whenever you look do it / Aly Khan and King Farouk do it/Let's do it, let's fall in love."

Lucille P. Markey, owner of Calumet Farm Thoroughbred racing stable in Lexington, KY, named one of her outstanding colts, "Alydar" in his honor because she always addressed the prince as, "Aly Darling".

BCnU!

ZONKS IN PLAIN SIGHT

Flowers?
Is he asking to get Zonked?

This latest season of 'In Plain Sight' ended back in August, but I only got around to watching the last six episodes over my days off this week. And throughout that half dozen WITSEC cases, a number of possible Zonks were tossed around, usually by US Marshal Mary Shannon, and mostly as derogatory insults to those around her.

1] "Nancy Drew"
This was Mary's name for her partner Marshall's girlfriend Abigail, the detective from the Albuquerque Police Department.

Nancy Drew was a teen-aged amateur sleuth who first appeared in the literary universe (Word-World?) in 1930. Decades after a few forays into the Cineverse, Ms. Drew became part of Toobworld in 1978. Any appearance beyond 1979 would be of a Nancy Drew from alternate TV dimensions.

Thirty plus years on from that point, Nancy Drew probably drew (Sorry about that, Chief!) national attention to herself for solving some crime - perhaps one that put the entire country at risk. This could splain how Mary knew about her.

But then again....

In 1979, Nancy Drew's physical appearance suddenly changed. (Outside the box, this was due to recasting - Pamela Sue Martin originated the role, but suddenly quit when her episode order in the rotation with the Hardy Boys* was drastically reduced to mostly guest appearances in their episodes. She was replaced by Janet Louise Johnson, without any comment about her change in appearance by those around her. Although no one seemed to notice at the time, perhaps the truth was eventually revealed and caused a media sensation which Mary would have read about.

2] "Serpico"
Twice Mary called Marshall by the name of this famous police detective.

Everybody in the real world has a counterpart in Toobworld. Frank Serpico is one who actually got a televersion visible to the Trueniverse audience. But Mary was referring to David Birney's portrayal in the TV series, but as the real cop, not a TV character. If she was referring to any fictional portrayal of Serpico, then it would be to Al Pacino's role in the movie, which was made in Toobworld as well. (Since Serpico was played by Pacino and not Birney in the movie, the movie cannot be absorbed into the Toobworld Dynamic.)

3] "The 'Law & Order' boxed set"
Abigail gave the complete series to Marshal as a gift.

This should be a Zonk! 'In Plain Sight' and the 'Law & Order' franchise should be sharing the same TV dimension. In fact, Mary made a quick cameo in an episode of 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'.

But the Toobworld Central splainin is that mentions of 'Law & Order' are most likely to a reality documentary series which followed the detectives of the 27th Precinct around on their cases 24/7; a series which proved highly popular. (And Abigail must really love Marshall in order to get him the complete series. I'm not really sure if the same holds true for Toobworld, but that warhorse ran for 20 years in the real world. A complete boxed set is a hefty investment!  I think it runs about $700.00....)

4] "Norman Bates"
Mary called Marshall "Norman Bates" after he referred to her as "Mother".

He's much better known for the original "Psycho" directed by Alfred Hitchcock and then for the two sequels, but Norman Bates is a citizen of Toobworld as well. And since Anthony Perkins played him in a TV movie (with Henry Thomas playing young Norman), those first three "Psycho" movies can be excised from the Cineverse and absorbed into the Toobworld Dynamic.

(And, of course, the Vince Vaughn remake goes to some other movie world. If there's a Cinematic Evil Mirror Universe......)

So even though Norman Bates is a fellow TV character, Mary could still know all about him. He probably had the same notoriety as had John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer in the real world. Plus the original "Psycho" movie, even though it can be considered real-life events in Toobworld, was still made by Alfred Hitchcock in the early 1960's. (So much was made of its existence in an episode of 'Murder, She Wrote' that we can't ignore it.) Therefore, TV's Hitchcock was making a docudrama based on fact.

Norman Bates also exists in Skitlandia, thanks to the 'Saturday Night Live' sketch about the Norman Bates School of Motel Management. That episode of the show was hosted by Anthony Perkins......

As for the Norman Bates who mentored young Alex West in the asylum, as seen in the TV movie "Bates Motel", he was delusional and only believed himself to be the famous murderer.

When 'In Plain Sight' eventually returns, I'm sure Mary Shannon will be spouting plenty of other Zonks which we'll have to disable. Hopefully in doing so, we won't wake the baby....

BCnU!

* Because I didn't want to take anything away from the main focus of this post, I'm not getting into the Zonk about the Hardy Boys themselves. They originally appeared back in the 50's on TV, but it's their 70's incarnation that is better known. And we can't have that version of Nancy Drew in the main Toobworld if we banish the later Frank and Joe.

So why not keep both versions? The Hardy Boys of the 1950's were the real deal, and as for the brother sleuths of the 70's? Oh, I don't know - off the top of my head I'll say alien recreations. It could splain why they showed no surprise when Nancy Drew suddenly changed her appearance....

Like I said, I don't even want to bother thinking about that right now!

"BROTHERS & SISTERS" - LIFE AFTER CANCELLATION

Fanfic is okay - I mean, I at least don't rail against it as some do - but when it comes to what happened in the ongoing lives of TV characters after their shows are cancelled, I much prefer reading the thoughts of the creators of those shows.

One of my favorites was with Larry Cohen about the long-gone 'Coronet Blue', which I've mentioned in the past. (Even if I didn't like where the show might have been heading as to Michael Alden's identity.)
 
And now there's a new one out there about all the Walker family members from one of last season's fatalities, 'Brothers & Sisters'.
 
You might as well assume these projections did happen/are happening, because life in the TV Universe continues even if we can't view it......

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: MATTHEW SHEPARD

It was thirteen years ago yesterday.....

MATTHEW SHEPARD

AS SEEN IN:
"The Matthew Shepard Story"

AS PLAYED BY:
Shane Maier

TV DIMENSION:
Earth Prime-Time*

From Wikipedia:
Matthew Wayne Shepard (December 1, 1976 – October 12, 1998) was a student at the University of Wyoming who was tortured and murdered near Laramie, Wyoming, in October 1998. He was attacked on the night of October 6–7, and died at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado, on October 12 from severe head injuries.

During the trial, witnesses stated that Shepard was targeted because of his sexual orientation. Shepard's murder brought national and international attention to the contention of hate crime legislation at the state and federal levels.

In 2009, his mother Judy Shepard authored a book The Meaning of Matthew: My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed. On October 22, 2009, the United States Congress passed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (Matthew Shepard Act for short), and on October 28, 2009, President Obama signed the legislation into law.

BCnU!

* "Anatomy Of A Hate Crime" did come first by almost a year, but this was the better production. In the end it doesn't really matter so long as Matthew's story is remembered and hopefully prevented from ever happening to somebody else....

KEVIN SORBO: ALL IN A DAY'S HERC

Tim Stack of "Entertainment Weekly" had this scoop:

'Don't Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23' will be a midseason series on ABC. (I'm not really sure if the title will actually have "Bitch" in it, but I'm not going to shy away from using it if others are just using "B____" for propriety's sake.)

And it has several Toobworldly factors going for it. First off, that the apartment in question is number "23" gives it a 'Lost' missing link, as "23" is one of the numbers in Hurley's unlucky sequence.

Then there's James Van Der Beek co-starring as himself. It's not a novel idea - 'Half Nelson' with Dean Martin and 'It's Like... You Know' with Jennifer Grey have done it before - but it will foster a lot of 'Dawson's Creek' Zonks I'll have to deactivate.

Van Der Beek is not the only one who will be appearing as members of the League of Themselves on the sitcom. Dean Cain will show up as Van Der Beek's rival, while Kevin Sorbo will be in another as Chloe's wedding date.

If they want to make 'Lois & Clark' jokes about Dean Cain, I'm okay with that. 'Lois & Clark' took place in an alternate TV dimension and it could be that since the mythos of Superman is known to everybody in Toobworld since he died, then there might be a TV series based on the Man of Steel.....

But the most exciting bit o' news was for the casting of Kevin Sorbo as himself. This will tie the series in to 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys', which established that the former TV Herc was actually the true Hercules using the alias of Kevin Sorbo!

Sweet. Kevin Sorbo may actually get into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame based on this new series. (There's also the project "Legendary" which would have Sorbo playing himself, not to mention his appearances as Hercules in episodes of 'Xena-Warrior Princess'.)

BCnU!

TOOBWORLD TAKE-AWAY: "HOMƎLAND"

So, another day, another review for one of the new series in the Fall 2011 season.

And today? It's 'Homeland'.

I really enjoyed the pilot. I could see myself having stayed with it for at least a handful of episodes, despite the personal stumbling block which I'll get to eventually. But I saw it via an online preview, and I didn't like it that much that I would plunk down the quatloos to order Showtime in order to watch it. (HBO is already a burden on the checkbook, but every time I want to get out, they pull me back in with a great new TV series. I'm now in it until 'Game Of Thrones' has run its course.)

Anyhoo, as good as this show is, how long do the producers envision it could run? The US marketing model demands as many seasons as pozz'ble, with the traditional magic number of 100 episodes for eventual syndication. But I don't think the premise could be carried that long. 'Homeland' would be better suited to the British model - about six or eight episodes and done.

As for the characters, I think making Claire Danes' agent so flawed was a brilliant stroke. Aside from preventing her becoming Joanie One-Note in her zeal to expose the Truth, it also helps that her flaws could hamper the investigation and thus stretch the series out more.

Damian Lewis, as the POW "freed" from Taliban captiviity after eight years is enigmatically good. I admit that he's a damn good actor. But something about him - in this and his previous series 'Life' - just turns me off. Too cold, maybe? But I'm sure that immortal line line applies here - "It's not him; it's me." (And it's not because he's ginger. LOL - I'm in that tribe as well!)

Most of all, I really enjoyed Mandy Patinkin as Claire Danes' mentor, and I feel there's a lot of potential for the patented Patinkin snark. On the other hand, there's his reputation for bailing out on his TV series. So the show's creators better have a contingency plan to eventually invoke the mentor tradition. (Think Merlin, Gandalf, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sigourney Weaver of 'Avatar'.....)

There's one other reason I may not have stayed with 'Homeland' for very long. My brain is too invested in the Toobworld concept - and if it's not a show that can be set on Earth Prime-Time, I tend to lose interest nowadays. It has to be a really good series - 'The West Wing' good! - in order to get me to continue watching "Alternateevee".

'Homeland' jumped ship in the pilot episode once Jamey Sheridan showed up as the Vice President of the United States. He looked Bidenesque, but he wasn't Joe Biden. And as Joe Biden is the Veep for the real world as well as for Toobworld, 'Homeland' must take place in an alternate TV dimension.

A point in its favor, however - it could be taking place in the 'West Wing' TV dimension So long as the President is never named, it could be he's Matt Santos. Perhaps former Vice President Eric Baker had to step down for personal reasons and so this unnamed Vice President was chosen by Santos and approved by Congress to fill the vacancy. (The fact that Sheridan never appeared in 'The West Wing' is a huge plus for this theory.)

One last O'Bservation, about the promotional aspect of the series - I do like how 'Homeland' is spelled in the print advertising, with the "E" in 'Homeland' turned... just like Damian Lewis' character.......

So if you already have Showtime, I'd suggest catching up on this show. If not, wait for Netflix to offer up the DVDs.....

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: TIBERIUS

Actor George Baker passed away on October 7 at the age of 80. He was perhaps best known for playing Inspector Reg Wexford in the long-running 'The Ruth Rendell Mysteries' and for his roles in three James Bond movies. (Ian Fleming thought he would have been perfect for the role of Bond, James Bond, but it went to Sean Connery instead.)

For me, his best known Toobworld work would be as the second Number Two in the first episode of 'The Prisoner', and most of all for his role in 'I, Claudius'.....

TIBERIUS CAESAR

AS SEEN IN:
'I, Claudius'


AS PLAYED BY:
George Baker

TV DIMENSION:
Earth Prime-Time

From Wikipedia:
Tiberius (Latin: Tiberius Julius Caesar Augustus; 16 November 42 BC – 16 March 37 AD), was Roman Emperor from 14 AD to 37 AD. Tiberius was by birth a Claudian, son of Tiberius Claudius Nero and Livia Drusilla. His mother divorced Nero and married Augustus in 39 BC, making him a step-son of Octavian. Tiberius would later marry Augustus' daughter Julia the Elder (from his marriage to Scribonia) and even later be adopted by Augustus, by which act he officially became a Julian, bearing the name Tiberius Julius Caesar. The subsequent emperors after Tiberius would continue this blended dynasty of both families for the next forty years; historians have named it the Julio-Claudian dynasty. In relations to the other emperors of this dynasty, Tiberius was the stepson of Augustus, great-uncle of Caligula, paternal uncle of Claudius, and great-great uncle of Nero.

Tiberius was one of Rome's greatest generals, conquering Pannonia, Dalmatia, Raetia, and temporarily Germania; laying the foundations for the northern frontier. But he came to be remembered as a dark, reclusive, and sombre ruler who never really desired to be emperor; Pliny the Elder called him tristissimus hominum, "the gloomiest of men." After the death of Tiberius’ son Drusus Julius Caesar in 23 he became more reclusive and aloof. In 26, against better judgement, Tiberius exiled himself from Rome and left administration largely in the hands of his unscrupulous Praetorian Prefects Lucius Aelius Sejanus and Quintus Naevius Sutorius Macro. Caligula, Tiberius' grand-nephew and adopted grandson, succeeded the emperor upon his death.

Good night, George Baker, and may God bless.

BCnU....