ECHOES: FEELING PUNCHY

FROM 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'



FROM 'DOCTOR WHO'



BCnU!

THE 2009 TOOBITS AWARDS (PART THREE)

Here's our third installment of the annual Toobits Awards presentation.......

BEST VOICE-OVER
Adam West for the Lending Tree - nobody can say "diabolical" quite like him!



BEST LINE
"I'm the ass kicking clown who will twist you like a balloon animal. I will beat your head against this bumper until the airbags deploy, so apologize to my boyfriend right now!" - Cameron Tucker as "Fizbo", 'Modern Family'



RUNNERS-UP:
"Go shit in the ocean." - Mrs. Zinberg, 'Nurse Jackie
(It sounds much better in Yiddish.)

"Abra Kev Dorfman, you son of a bitch!" - Natalie Teeger, 'Monk'

"I like being weird. Weird is all I got. That and my sweet style." - Moss, 'The IT Crowd'

"I believe you. I don't understand you, but I believe you." - Carmen Reyes, 'Lost'

"I know it's our Christ-given duty to help family, but can't we just kill him?" - Cassie Powers, 'Eastbound & Down'

"I'm going to try to butter that muffin." - Cole Barker, 'Chuck'

BEST SPEECH/MONOLOGUE "I am brave. Rollercoasters? Love 'em. Scary movies? I've seen 'Ghostbusters', like, seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So, yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything. Except clowns. Never shared that with the fam' so sssh, I have an image to maintain. I am not really sure where the fear comes from; my mother says it's because when I was a kid I found a dead clown in the woods, but...who knows?" - Phil Dunphy, 'Modern Family'

BEST DIALOGUE EXCHANGE
Colby: Can I ask you something?
David: Sure.
Colby: Do I seem like a Roast Beef kinda guy to you?
David: I won't discuss another man's meat.
('Numb3rs')

Two years running for meat/sex allusions. What could that mean.....?

BEST NEW THEME SONG
'Murdoch's Mysteries'



There's something about the bridge that makes me think of the theme music for 'Six Feet Under'......

BEST MUSICAL MOMENT
The 'Doogie Howser' theme, an SNL Digital Short (1/12/09)



Now, you may have noticed that some of those are from earlier years, but they were new to me in 2009........

We're far from done with our salute to great Toobworld moments in 2009, so stick around!

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: JACK LONDON

On this date in 1876, Jack London was born.

From Wikipedia:

Jack London (January 12, 1876 – November 22, 1916) was an American author who wrote The Call of the Wild, White Fang, and The Sea Wolf along with many other popular books. A pioneer in the then-burgeoning world of commercial magazine fiction, he was one of the first Americans to make a lucrative career exclusively from writing.

JACK LONDON

AS SEEN IN:
'Mentors'

AS PLAYED BY:
Chad Willett

Here's an episode guide description of his appearance in 'Mentors':

Oliver finds himself back in time due to a computer glitch. Meeting up with Jack London, Oliver experiences some harrowing moments in the untamed Klondike during the gold rush. When his 21st century wristwatch is stolen by an unscrupulous gambler, Oliver finds himself in a race against time to preserve history as we know it.

Since it's the Toobworld Central position that all of the "Mentors" encountered in this series were computer-generated, Oliver actually found himself in a computer simulation of that era. It could even be that his computer was somehow uplinked into a connection with the past timeline of the 'Harsh Realm'......

JACK LONDON

AS SEEN IN:
'Star Trek: The Next Generation'

AS PLAYED BY:
Michael Aron

From Memory Alpha:

Jack London was an American author in the late 19th century and early 20th century.

In 1893, he worked as a bellboy at the Hotel Brian in San Francisco. His earlier jobs included being an oyster pirate, selling newspapers and working in a fish factory. While working as a bellboy, he met Data who had been transported back in time. He helped Data, whom he believed to be an inventor, acquire things that he needed to build a device to detect temporal distortions to return to the 24th century. He also tried to talk Samuel Clemens into writing Jack's biography, but Clemens advised him to become a writer himself and to fulfill his dream of going to Alaska.

Click here for a clip from Chad Willett's reel of his scenes as Jack London in 'Mentors'...

And here's a few scenes from that two-part 'ST:TNG' episode "Time's Arrow" which not only features Jack London, but also a member of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, Mark Twain!

All that talk about oysters and oyster pirates is making me hungry....

Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!

TVXOHOF, JANUARY 2010: JAY LENO

IT'S "JAYNUARY!"

The bad news for Jay Leno came down this week: his 10 pm weeknight show will be canceled in February. NBC hopes to move him back to a half hour show at 11:30 pm and have Conan O'Brien do the 'Tonight' show starting at midnight. (But it may be that "Cousin" Conan will bolt the Peacock network over the slight and maybe go to FOX for a show that starts at 11 pm.)

I feel sorry for Jay Leno. He didn't ask for all of this to happen. NBC put the squeeze on him to relinquish the 'Tonight' show in 2009 a few years back so that they could hold on to Conan, thinking that his popularity would translate to an hour earlier. Then, when they realized it made them look bad to have done this to a man who was loyal to his network and was untiring in his pitching for them on all sorts of shows, NBC came up with this idea of a weeknight talk show at 10 pm for him. (I'm sure those suits - who deserve to be nibbled to death by ducks - also figured they'd save a lot of money with the show rather than spend a fortune on dramatic series.)

But then the squeeze came on for which dramatic series would survive with five fewer berths to fill; NBC let 'Southland' slip away to TNT because it was too intense for the nine o'clock hour; and NBC affiliates began to bitch about the slide in ratings leading in to their lucrative 11 pm news broadcasts. So now nobody's happy.

(Of course, Leno may be responsible for all of his bad karma - he created a lot of ill will during the writers' strike over a year ago by continuing with his monologues and by doing a crossover with Jimmy Kimmel's show on ABC in what appeared to be a show of solidarity and as a defiant stand against the strike.) At any rate, Toobworld Central has decided to do its part to bring a little joy in Jay Leno's life. And so the man known for his love of cars and for his freakishly big chin (He's often referred to as "lantern-jawed" in so many articles about him!) is the January 2010 inductee into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame - not only as the traditional Classic TV entrant, but also as a member of the League of Themselves.

Just take a gander at this line-up of credits in which Jay played himself:

"Entourage"
- Drive (2009)

"The Comeback"
- Valerie Does Another Classic Leno (2005)

"Joey"
- Joey and the Tonight Show (2005)

"The Bernie Mac Show"

- Pink Gold (2003)

"Scrubs"

- My Own Private Practice Guy (2003)

"Just Shoot Me!"
- Liotta? Liotta! (2002)
- Secretary's Day (1997)

"Titus"
- The Pit (2001)

"The Chris Isaak Show"
- T&A (2001)

"DAG"
- Pilot (2000)

"Passions"
- Episode #1.332 (2000)

"The West Wing"
- 20 Hours in L.A. (2000)
[This is an alternate TV dimension version of Jay Leno.]

Y2K (1999) (TV)

"V.I.P."
- Valma and Louise (1999)
- Diamonds Are a Val's Best Friend (1998)

"Home Improvement"
- Home Alone (1999)
[Leno also appeared in an episode entitled "Brother, Can You Spare A Hot Rod?" He was named Jay in that but was a guy at an auto show who was keeping an eye of a bunch of cars. It could be he was one of those celeb-obsessed guys who undergo plastic surgery and take on a new persona to be more like their heroes - in this case, Jay Leno.....]

Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time' (1998)

"Muppets Tonight"
- The Best of Muppets Tonight! (1997)
- The Cameo Show (1997)

"Veronica's Closet"
- Pilot (1997)
- Unaired Pilot

"Caroline in the City"
- Caroline and the Bad Trip (1997)

"Baywatch"
- Talk Show (1997)

"3rd Rock from the Sun"
- Dick Jokes (1996)

"The Nanny"
- The Taxman Cometh (1996)

"Ellen"
- Go Girlz (1996)

"Seinfeld"
- The Shower Head (1996)

"Wings"

- The Team Player (1996)

"Homicide: Life on the Street"
- Sniper: Parts 1 & 2 (1996)

"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
- The Script Formerly Known As... (1995)
- Will's Up a Dirt Road (1994)

"JAG"
- Pilot: Parts 1 & 2

"Mad About You"
- Just My Dog (1995)

"Friends"

- The One with Mrs. Bing (1995)

"The Sinbad Show"
- The Telethon (1994)
- The Mr. Science Show (1994)

"The Larry Sanders Show"
- Performance Artist (1993)

"Madame's Place"

- Episode #1.14 (1982)

Not that they really count towards one's credits in Toobworld, but Jay Leno appeared on so many other talk shows, beginning with 'The Mike Douglas Show' to 'The Oprah Winfrey Show', (even a German show called 'Galileo') and of course including 'The Tonight Show' and 'The Jay Leno Show'. "Reality" shows like 'The Osbournes', 'American Chopper' and 'Top Gear' (He created a robot for 'Battlebots' called "The Chin Killer"); and game shows from 'Match Game' to 'Deal Or No Deal' are also in the mix. Plus the movies in which he's often used to encapsulate the American zeitgeist in regards to the hero's situation: "Dave", "Contact", "Calendar Girls", "EdTV", "In & Out", "The Birdcage", and "Wag The Dog".

Jay Leno has been a formidable presence as himself in the Tooniverse as well, and not only as himself. (He's played characters on 'The Fairly Oddparents' and 'South Park', which he also did in the early days on other shows like 'Laverne & Shirley.)

Here's a list of appearances by the cartoon version of Jay Leno:

"Family Guy"
- We Love You Conrad (2009)
- Patriot Games (2006)

"Dilbert"

- The Delivery (2000)

"South Park"
- City on the Edge of Forever (1998)

"The Simpsons"
- The Last Temptation of Krust (1998)

For alls I know, this is only going to make Jay Leno feel worse, but nevertheless....

Well Come to the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame, Jay Leno!

BCnU!

SPLAININ TO DO: DAUGHTER OF CRAGEN

Earlier Sunday TNT replayed a 1995 episode of 'Law & Order' called "Bad Faith". It was directed by Dann Florek after he left the series in 1993 (where he played Captain Donald Cragen), but before he was connected to 'Law & Order: SVU'.

In this episode, his character of Captain Cragen mentions his fourteen year old daughter. However, it was previously mentioned in the series that Cragen and his wife (Marge) had no children.

But that was back when Florek was still in the show. It could be that this fourteen year old daughter was a late adoption, taken in by the Cragens when she was just beginning her teen years.

We can't see everything that happens in Toobworld.....

BCnU!

THE 2009 TOOBITS AWARDS (PART TWO)

Here are some more of the 2009 winners of the Toobits Awards from Toobworld Central. [There are spoilers ahead, so if you were saving things like 'Torchwood: Children Of Earth' for a later viewing date, even after all this time, it'll be best to avoid this list......]

BEST NEW TOOBWORLD LOCATION
'Harper's Island'


BEST NEW ALTERNATE TV DIMENSION
'Kings' - the city of Shiloh in the land of Gilboa

BEST EXIT FOR A CHARACTER
Gil Grissom, 'CSI'



BEST DEATH SCENE
Juliet Burke, 'Lost'


Runners-up:
Ianto Jones, 'Torchwood: Children of Earth'
Derek Reese, 'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles'
Professor Nick Cutter, 'Primeval'
Bryce Larkin, 'Chuck'
Alexis White, 'Chuck'(injected herself in the neck with ricin)

WORST DEATH SCENE
Toobworld:
The sacrifice of Captain Jack Harkness' grandson to save the world because it was so heart-breaking (although I admire the bravery of the story-telling.)


Real World:
Neda Soltani, June 20th - Worst because it was all too real....
(The following video, because it is reality, could be too graphic and very disturbing. Proceed with caution.)


BEST BEHIND THE SCENES
Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof of 'Lost' traveling back in Time from the Future


BEST EPISODE TITLE
'Supernatural': "Criss Angel Is A Douchebag"

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER
Home-grown:
'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'

Imported:
'Foyle's War'

BEST SERIES MARATHON ON DVD
'Murdoch's Mysteries' So that's it for another installment of the Toobits Awards, but fear not! Like those old intermission cards on the 'Tonight' show promised, "There's more to come". We're working backward in increments (There are so many!) until we reach the big prizes.

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: ALEXANDER HAMILTON

On this date in 1755 – Alexander Hamilton, 1st United States Secretary of the Treasury (d. 1804) was born....

ALEXANDER HAMILTON

AS SEEN IN:
"Swing Out, Sweet Land"

AS PLAYED BY:
Ross Martin

From Wikipedia:

Alexander Hamilton (January 11, 1757 – July 12, 1804) was the first United States Secretary of the Treasury, a Founding Father, economist, and political philosopher. The chief of staff to General George Washington during the American Revolution, he was a leader of nationalist forces calling for a new Constitution; he was one of America's first lawyers, and wrote half of the Federalist Papers, a primary source for Constitutional interpretation. He was more influential than the other three members of Washington's Cabinet, and the financial expert; the Federalist Party formed to support his policies.

Alexander Hamilton with:
George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams
(played respectively by Lorne Greene, Hugh O'Brian, and William Shatner)

Hamilton's opposition to his fellow Federalist John Adams hurt the party in the 1800 elections. When Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr tied in the electoral college, Hamilton helped defeat his bitter personal enemy Burr and elect Jefferson as president. With his party's defeat, Hamilton's nationalist and industrialization ideas lost their former national prominence. Hamilton's intense rivalry with Burr resulted in a duel, in which Hamilton was mortally wounded.

Hamilton was always denounced by the Jeffersonians and later the Jacksonians, but his economic ideas, especially support for a protective tariff and a national bank, were promoted by the Whig Party and after the 1850s by the newly created Republican Party, which hailed him as the nation's greatest Secretary of the Treasury.
BCnU!

PAWS TO CONSIDER.....

NBC is scrambling to find replacement shows for the weekly strip of 10 pm slots, now that Leno will probably be moved back to the old late night berth.

Here's a wedding announcement that might be just the ticket: It could either be a reality show ("I Married A Dog!") or an updated version of "Manimal".

Of course, ABC could cry foul in the name of their parent company and claim it's a rip-off of the old "Shaggy Dog" franchise.....

BCnU!

(My thanks to Bill Crider for bringing this to light.....)

THE TOOBITS AWARDS 2009 PART ONE

It's that time of year again, when we all make lists and think back over the past year, in whatever field of interest concerns us, and chronicle the high points and the lows. For the past few years I've been presenting this compilation as an awards show, the Toobits, which of course celebrates my two bits about Toobworld.As it is with any such list you may have found in TV columns across the country those last few weeks of 2009, these are my opinions. You're welcome to your own and I hope you'll share them, but I'm sticking to my weapons of choice. (It could be you won't see something that was a favorite of yours because I just never got around to seeing it. There's only so much time in the world - even for a do-nothing-else-anyway sort like me! - and I've only got the two eyes, even if they do operate independantly of each other at times.)

Unlike the Emmy Awards which will just keep handing out trophies to some shows forever, only shows, characters and what-not that debuted in 2009 can be considered. (And by "debuted", I mean that which I first came in contact with in 2009. It could be a few years old, but if it's my first time seeing it, it's new.) This one-time-ony rule includes characters who have been recast; those are still the same characters who already exist in Toobworld. (But there was a notable appearance that deserved honorable mention.....)

So without further ado, let's have at it:

BEST COINED WORDS and PHRASES
"citiot" - 'Royal Pains' (It refers to the City idiots who come out to the Hamptons each summer.)

RUNNERS-UP:
'magniflorious' - 'Better Off Ted'
"Full Frontal Nerdity" - 'Better Off Ted'
"Flu Ferrigno" - 'The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson'

BEST CRITIQUE BY AN ONLINE COMMENTER

RE: A TV SHOW
For the 'Nurse Jackie' episode "Nosebleed", as posted in Alan Sepinwall's blog "What's Alan Watching?":
Robert said...
Well now that she's unstuck in time and the nosebleeds have started, we know she doesn't have long to live on the island...oh wait.
RE: A TV COMMERCIAL
For the Capitol One ads, posted on Facebook:
Ray Brizzi said...
Where have you gone, Don Draper? Why would I want to go to a bank where 15 foot high pushpins fall out of the sky and stick in the concrete? Followed by some hoody looking guys saying "What's in your wallet?"
RE: TOOBWORLD PHILOSOPHY
For 'How I Met Your Mother', posted on Sepinwall's blog:
Bryan said.....
Maybe a minor point but a real pet peeve of mine- Barney standing up on the desk saying Captain my Captain was great - Ted explaining it by saying "wasn't 'Dead Poet Society' great?" is lame and very sitcom-ee. Just do the joke. If they get it, they get it; don't explain it.

BEST ZONK OF THE YEAR
'Curb Your Enthusiasm' - the 'Seinfeld' reunion
Sure, it screws up the solidity of the TV Universe, but how could you not love seeing a twisted view of that classic show's behind the scenes action? Besides, I'm thinking shows like 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', 'The Larry Sanders Show', and 'Extras' probably deserve to be scuttled off to their own TV dimension where they can't hurt anybody......
WORST ZONK OF THE YEAR
'Big Bang Theory' vs. 'The Sarah Conner Chronicles'
Unlike the shows mentioned above, neither of these two shows had show biz settings which would have been breeding grounds for Zonks. Theoretically, they should be in the same TV Universe. But meeting Summer Glau on the train really derailed that idea.....
BEST ZONK QUOTE OF THE YEAR:
Roman: It's all the color of Yale. You see?
Blair: That's just what I need to perk me up. I couldn't sleep a wink.
Roman: We know. We heard you watching "Gilmore Girls" all night. Again.
Blair: Oh. I am so better fit for Yale than this Rory.
(From 'Gossip Girl')

BEST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD
02/04/09: A man wielding a "Star Trek Klingon-type sword" (a bat'leth) robbed two Colorado Springs convenience stores.
WORST CLASH BETWEEN TOOBWORLD & THE REAL WORLD
There were misguided parents in the UK who wanted the BBC to fire Cerrie Burnell from 'The CBeebies'. Why? Because she was born with only one hand. They claimed it would frighten their pre-schoolers. Ugh.

WORST TV EXPERIENCE
Having to sit through reality shows like 'Hoarders' and 'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' with my friend Michael.....

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A SHOW
Telecast of the Oscars and the Emmys because of their presentation of the "In Memoriam" segment. On both shows, the cameras weaved in and out as though the directors were thinking the audience wouldn't care to just watch a slideshow presentation of those actors and others in those respective media who passed away the year before. And so, most of the TV audience never even got to see Edie Adams lead off the tributes on the Emmy telecast because it was so far away!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN A NETWORK
AKA "The Nibbled To Death By Ducks" award goes to The CW, for scheduling 'Reaper' as a sacrificial lamb against 'American Idol' in order to protect '90210'.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE GENERAL AUDIENCE
The failure of the viewers to appreciate 'Pushing Daisies'. This gem of a show was having a hard enough time because of network indifference; it could have used support from an audience who enjoy something different and well-made as well. Oh, that's right. that's an endangered species in America.....
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT IN MYSELF
I never bothered to watch 'V'. I'll have to add it to the list of shows I'll one day get to: like 'Deadwood', 'Dexter', 'The Wire', 'Band of Brothers', 'Battlestar Galactica' and 'Rome'. (At least that one I now own.)

HONORARY MENTION
David Tennant ended his run as the Tenth Incarnation of the Time Lord on 'Doctor Who', an amazing five years of adventures which may have elevated him to the most favorite Doctor of all time for many. (He's still second to Patrick Troughton for me.) He'll be off on new adventures in Toobworld, 'Rex Is Not Your Lawyer' for example, but thanks to the introduction of the Chameleon Arch during his tenure, we might be able to think of those future roles as the Doctor in disguise! So that's it for this installment of the Toobits Awards, but fear not! Like those old intermission cards on the 'Tonight' show promised, "There's more to come". We're working backward in increments (There are so many!) until we reach the big prizes.

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: ELVIS

So I missed the boat on this one, but I'm not about to get all shook up about it.....

This past Friday, Elvis Presley would have been 75 years old.

ELVIS PRESLEY
&
PRISCILLA ANN WAGNER PRESLEY

AS SEEN IN:
"Elvis"

AS PLAYED BY:
Kurt Russell
&
Skye Aubrey

BCnU!