HALLOWEEN IN TOOBWORLD - THE HORROR MOVIE OPTIONS OF EMMETT CLAYTON

'COLUMBO'
"THE MOST DANGEROUS MATCH"
March 4, 1973

Emmett Clayton was the world's chess champion, a position he held since Tomlin Dudek was forced to retire five years before due to health concerns.  But now Dudek was ready to re-enter the chess tournament circuit and was scheduled to play against Clayton in a match the next day.  It had captured the attention from the press:

REPORTER:

Can you tell us what your schedule is for tonight? 

EMMETT CLAYTON:

Well, this evening, um, a small martini perhaps, a large steak definitely, 

and a good horror movie, if there's one close by.

I got the feeling from that exchange that Clayton was a horror movie buff.  He could have just said "a good movie" - going to see any movie on the night before a news-worthy chess match would have been enough to show how nonchalant and confidant he felt about facing Dudek.

But Clayton was specific - he wanted to see a horror movie.

I suppose I could have gone with a fictional movie.  But if I wanted to keep it within Columbo's corner of the TV Universe, I couldn't use "The Loves of Frankenstein" because that wouldn't be in theaters for another year.

It's the timing that makes it hard to find a fictional horror movie that might have fit into the timeline.  Of the examples I've found, they were either years too early to still be in an L.A. theater or - as was the case with "The Loves Of Frankenstein" - it was too soon for them to be released.  In fact, many of those weren't even filmed yet.  And probably wouldn't be for decades!  (Among these would be "Whack Job", "Kill It Before It Dies!" and "Headless Honeymoon".)

I suppose Clayton could have gone to some retro theater to see some old classic movie - like "Blood In The Showers", "Land of the Vampires", and "The Monster That Devoured Cleveland".

But there is one movie which could have come out at the same point on the Toobworld timeline as this episode of 'Columbo'.  All we know about it is that the Enterprise starship in 2251 has the title listed in its data banks: "Planet of the Undead".

As noted above, this episode was broadcast March 4, 1973, and I see no reason not to assume that it happened around that same time as well.  And as it happened, a new horror movie had opened just a few days before in the real world.....

Miss Leslie's Dolls
(March 1, 1973)A gay drag queen with a mother fixation terrorizes a city, hunting down, killing and dismembering women.

I'm not exactly sure that would have suited Emmett Clayton's tastes exactly, and might have garnered him some unwanted publicity.  But there were three other horror movies which had opened since January:

Blood Orgy of the She-Devils
(January, 1973)

Lorraine and Mark enter the world of witchcraft where Mara foretells the future and helps them remember their past lives. When a series of mysterious murders begin to occur, they turn to Dr. Helsford for advice.

I'm not exactly sure that would still be in theaters by March of that year.  Los Angeles is the movie-making capital of the world and interest in the latest offerings would be keen; with only so many theaters, there would probably be a very high turnover there.

Scream Bloody Murder 
(February, 1973)
A disturbed boy kills his father with his farm tractor and his arm is mangled in the process. He's taken to a mental hospital where he's outfitted with a hook to replace his lost hand and, years later, he's eventually released from the asylum. He returns home to find his mother has remarried, which sets him off on a murderous rampage.

The poster blares "GORE-NOGRAPHY!" and basically that's all there would be.  For my money, if I wanted to see a guy with a hook going on a rampage, I'll stick with "Rolling Thunder".

Alabama's Ghost 
(February, 1973)
Nightclub janitor discovers a secret room, finds old magician's bbeelongings, tries on the costumes and becomes "Alabama, King of the Cosmos."

That doesn't sound like something that would have sparked Clayton's interest.  This low-budget flick (only cost about $55,000 to produce) probably wasn't even in theaters for more than a week.

But nothing about any of them suggests to me that they would still have been open by the time March rolled around.

I suppose I could have pushed back this episode of 'Columbo' to later in the timeline by a month, (making it sort of "futuristic" in a way.)  That's because two movies would have opened by then which Clayton might have found more to his style.

The Crazies 
(March 16, 1973)
The military attempts to contain a man-made combat virus that causes death and permanent insanity in those infected, as it overtakes a small Pennsylvania town.

If Clayton was an aficionado of horror movies, he knew the reputation of George A. Romero as the "father of the zombie movie".  ("Night of the Living Dead" had come out in 1968.)  So I think he would have been interested in seeing "The Crazies".

As for the other movie, this would have been MY preference:

The Vault of Horror 
(March 30, 1973)
An anthology of five horror stories shared by five men trapped in the basement of an office building.

O'Bviously an inspiration for the TV series "Tales From The Crypt" as both were adapted from the horror comic books published by Bill Gaines.  But it's the cast which grabbed my attention:

• Tom Baker
• Terry-Thomas
• Glynis Johns
• Curt Jurgens
• Denholm Elliott
• Edward Judd
• Daniel Massey
• Anna Massey
• Michael Craig

Pretty impressive, I'd say!

But I don't feel comfortable shoving the episode into the future even if only for less than a month.  Basic Toobworld principle is that unless otherwise stated, or at least obvious from the content (e.g. 'Star Trek', 'Gunsmoke', 'Combat!', 'I Claudius', etc.), then a TV show should take place at the same time as the broadcast.  At least that the storyline should have just been ending as we go back to see how it played out earlier.  Therefore I'm leaving "The Most Crucial Match" as taking place at the beginning of March in 1973.

So I guess I'll stick with "Miss Leslie's Dolls" for now as to Emmett Clayton's movie of choice that night.

BCnU!

O'BSERVATIONS:
Other TV shows have supplied the movie titles listed here:
'Josh & Drake'
'Dobie Gillis'
'Gilligan's Island'
'Six Feet Under'
'Boy Meets World'