Friday, September 12, 2008

STAKING OUT A ZONK

Blade was a vampire hunter who was part vampire himself. He began "life" in the comic book "Tomb Of Dracula", created by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan. The movie "Blade", based on the Marvel comic book, first came out in 1998, followed over the years by two sequels. Pop culture picked up on the story of the half-blood vampire and Toobworld began to see its characters refer to the film.

In the "Revelations" episode of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', the question was raised: "Who do you think you are? Blade?" And that was later in the same year.

Tommy was assured by Merton in the 'Big Wolf On Campus' episode of "Everybody Fang Chung Tonight" that it was was okay to admit that "Blade" was one of his favorite movies.

And overseas, in the German show 'Tatort', a poster for the movie was seen plastered under a bridge in the episode "Kinder der Gewalt".

Just this summer, the movies were mentioned again, this time by Wendy Watson, sidekick and apprentice to 'The Middleman' when they fought Vladdie the vampiric hand puppet in the episode "The Vampire Puppet Lamentations". "I've seen every one of the 'Blade' films," she said. "I know my way around suck-heads." (This was Blade's favorite slang term for vampires.)

So by 2008, all three "Blade" movies were out. This might not be a problem... if there hadn't been a TV show about Blade in 2006.

However, still not a problem. A splainin can be supplied so that the situation doesn't suck.

'Blade' picked up the story of the vampire hunter already in progress. There was no origin episode and no real indication as to how long he had been part vampire hunting those who ruined his life. So it's possible, within the confines of Toobworld reality, that the story of Blade had become legend by the late 1990s, and that legend reached the notice of a Hollywood producer who quickly cashed in with a movie exploiting Blade's story.

And the three "Blade" movies of Toobworld don't have to be exactly like those we can see in the real world. They could have been schlock productions; they could have had storylines that had nothing to do with their true counterparts.

Later in the episode, Wendy also said "I've laid eyes on at least three of the major Canadian syndicated vampire detective shows." But because she never mentions them by name, we don't have to worry about her putting a Zonk on 'Forever Knight' or 'Blood Ties'. Those were the only two vampire detective shows from Canadian TV, which points out a major difference between the Trueniverse and the TV Universe - they had three such TV shows and we only got two.

So it looks like all of those blood-sucking Zonks have been staked through their hearts.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

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