GROSS OUTED

Although everything that is broadcast on TV constitutes another addition to Toobworld in some form, it would be nice to ignore news broadcasts, talk shows, and reality shows. But sometimes they make that impossible when there is plenty of synergy between shows on the same network.

For instance, when 'Family Matters' featured a plot involving 'American Gladiators', or when 'Big Brother' became a plot point on 'Yes, Dear'. Look at how many newscasters appeared as themselves on 'Murphy Brown' (and of course, "Uncle" Walter Cronkite appearing not only on that show, but in a classic episode of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show' as well.)

Recently, Jimmy Kimmel tried to tie in his late night talk show with the phenomenon of 'Lost' by having a representative from the Hanso Organization appear on the show. But they ended up talking about the show as a show and not as reality, even though the Hanso Group is a fictional component of that show.

It was enough to give me nosebleeds.

And now here's a new one.....

CNBC anchor Joe Kernen was reporting on the box office winners for the weekend this past Monday morning, and as everybody else in the news biz pointed out, the sequel to "Pirate Of The Caribbean" ("Dead Man's Chest") was not only the big winner, but that it raked in more than 132 million quatloos at the box office.

But then he went on to say that "The previous three-day record was 'Aquaman' at $120 plus, which beat out the $115 million which was set by 'Spider-Man' back in May of '02."

But the thing is, that only happened in Toobworld.

It was a major plot point this season in 'Entourage' that they needed "Aquaman", starring Vince Chase, to do a specific number in the box office on opening day, with the idea of even beating "Spiderman 2" and the record it set on opening day just a dream. However, they not only passed that mark, they demolished it with the 120 mil.

But even though "Aquaman" was directed by James Cameron, it's fiction, babe. It never got made; it doesn't exist.

HBO didn't help things when they blended our reality with TV reality by placing an ad congratulating "Aquaman" for its box office record in Variety.

And Joe Kernan never came out of that report with a "Just kidding, folks" of any kind. And during the report, there was no indication in his vocal timbre nor in his facial expressions that the story wasn't to be taken seriously.

And that's how the story was originally reported, but it wasn't the complete story. Apparently just before that box office report, Kernan was talking about 'Entourage' and the "Aquaman" subplot. More than likely, he probably continued with the reference, thinking everybody who was watching had seen the earlier comments.

But in the end, it doesn't matter, as they got it wrong anyway. The figure for the "Pirates" movie represented the take for the entire weekend. Whereas the figure for "Aquaman" represented the take on opening day. That's a big difference!

And in Toobworld, "Aquaman" left Captain Jack Sparrow in his wake.

Savvy?

BCnU!
Tele-Toby