RAISE THAT FINGER WITH PRIDE!

[A Blipverts Report]

Nowadays in the high-tech corporate world of TV Land, being a mutant with extra fingers on each hand is a positive boon. Those extra digits could help a mutant make a name for himself with higher productivity yields in the workplace.

But it wasn't always so in the TV Universe. Mutants had to hide their shame of extra fingers. They tried sanding them off; they tried slamming them off. (And, of course, mitts only hid the problem.)

Along came a pharmaceutical solution to remove the "problem" - Handi-Off. The patient would brush it on the unsightly fingers and in just three days they would fall off, never to grow back. That's because Handi-Off contained the "miracle" ingredient of Leprosin, and its tingle meant it was working.

There was even a product for those mutants who had too many toes - Toe-Riffic.

Thankfully, even in this time of sharply divisive prejudices, mutants in the TV Universe can embrace what makest them different. And even if the playing field is levelled at work when all the co-workers get Dell computers, there are always rewarding career options in middle-management massage and shadow puppetry.

('Dell Computers' & 'Saturday Night Live')

BCnU!
Tele-Toby