Looking through my TVXOHOF files for the League of Themselves, I can now make the claim that Chris Kattan is eligible for membership someday as himself. And that's even if his appearance on an episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' this year proves to be invalid.
See, he played the movie version of Ted Mosby in a film created by the guy who stole Stella away from Ted. (In the movie "The Wedding Bride", the character's name was Jed Moseley.) I'm assuming Kattan was playing himself playing the role, but it could turn out that he was playing some other role.
If that's the case, it's not a problem. There are still three other sitcoms in which he played the televersion of himself, plus his six hour mini-series 'Bollywood Hero', which was a big winner in the Toobits Awards last year.
Those other three sitcoms are:
'Sunset Tan'
'Derek And Simon: The Show'
'Hollywood Residential'
I don't know when he'd ever get inducted - we only do the ceremonies once a month, and members of the League of Themselves generally only make it in once a year......
From Wikipedia: Francisco Pizarro y González, 1st Marquess of los Atabillos (c. 1471 or 1476 – 26 June 1541) was a Spanish conquistador, conqueror of the Incan Empire and founder of Lima, the modern-day capital of Peru.
Francisco Pizarro (1478-1541) was a Spanish conquistador who traveled through much of the Pacific coast of America along Peru. He "discovered" the Incan empire and conquered it brutally and quickly, stealing immense hoards of gold, silver, and other treasures. Pizarro landed at San Mateo Bay in 1532. After traveling through desert and snow-capped mountains, Pizarro and his men (who included Hernando de Soto) arrived at Cajamarca (in 1533), where they captured Atahuallpa, the 13th and last emperor of the Incas. Atahuallpa had just won a civil war against his half-brother (Huáscar), and had executed Huáscar and his family. Atahuallpa had invited Pizarro to a celebratory feast, thinking that the Spanish were not much of a threat. Pizarro ambushed Atahuallpa and killed thousands of his men. Atahuallpa offered a huge ransom for his own release, but Pizarro took the treasure and had Atahuallpa strangled on Aug. 29, 1533; this was the end of the Incan empire. After looting and generally destroying the Incan capital of Cusco, Pizarro founded Lima (which he called Ciudad de los Reyes, which means "City of the Kings"). Pizarro was assassinated in Lima, Peru, in 1541, by followers of Pedro de Almagro (Cortes' captain) who wanted to seize Lima for its riches.
In Lima , Peru on 26 June 1541 "a group of twenty heavily armed supporters of Diego Almagro II stormed Pizarro's palace, assassinated him, and then forced the terrified city council to appoint young Almagro as the new governor of Peru", according to Burkholder and Johnson.
"Most of Pizarro's guests fled, but a few fought the intruders, numbered variously between seven and 25. While Pizarro struggled to buckle on his breastplate, his defenders, including his half-brother Alcántara, were killed. For his part Pizarro killed two attackers and ran through a third. While trying to pull out his sword, he was stabbed in the throat, then fell to the floor where he was stabbed many times."
Pizarro (who now was maybe as old as 70 years, and at least 62), collapsed on the floor, alone, painted a cross in his own blood and cried for Jesus Christ. He reportedly cried: Come my faithful sword, companion of all my deeds. He died moments after. Diego de Almagro the younger was caught and executed the following year after losing the battle of Chupas.Pizarro's remains were briefly interred in the cathedral courtyard; at some later time his head and body were separated and buried in separate boxes underneath the floor of the cathedral. In 1892, in preparation for the anniversary of Columbus' discovery of the Americas, a body believed to be that of Pizarro was exhumed and put on display in a glass coffin. However, in 1977 men working on the cathedral's foundation discovered a lead box in a sealed niche, which bore the inscription "Here is the head of Don Francisco Pizarro Demarkes, Don Francisco Pizarro who discovered Peru and presented it to the crown of Castile." A team of forensic scientists from the United States, led by Dr. William Maples, was invited to examine the two bodies, and they soon determined that the body which had been honored in the glass case for nearly a century had been incorrectly identified. The skull within the lead box not only bore the marks of multiple sword blows, but the features bore a remarkable resemblance to portraits made of the man in life.BCnU!
PS: Since Spain won the 2010 World Cup finals today, I'm sending this out as a salute to them. And since I was backing The Netherlands, I chose a villain for the tribute......
From Wikipedia: Anne, Princess Royal (Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise; born 15 August 1950), is the only daughter of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. At the time of her birth, she was third, and later for a few years was second in the line of succession to the thrones of seven independent states; however, after additions to the Royal Family, and an evolution of the Commonwealth, Anne is currently tenth in line to the thrones of 16 countries. She is resident in and most directly involved with the United Kingdom, the oldest realm, while also carrying out duties in and on behalf of the other states of which her mother is sovereign. The seventh holder of the title Princess Royal, Anne is known for her charitable work, being the patron of over 200 organisations, and she carries out about 700 royal engagements and public appearances per year.
Princess Anne is also known for equestrian talents; she won two silver and one gold medal at the European Eventing Championships, and is the only member of the British Royal Family to have competed in the Olympic Games. She is presently married to Vice-Admiral Timothy Laurence, and has two children from her previous marriage to Mark Phillips.
Those are scenes from 'True Blood' and 'Lost', both featuring the actor Zeljko Ivanek. Don't think they're connected? Then you've never read an Inner Toob Theory of Relateeveety before!
In less than three seasons, ‘True Blood’ has provided a rich registry of secondary characters populating the town of Bon Temps, Louisiana. It even goes deeper with the tertiary characters, those who only appear on a recurring basis.
One of these, and the focus of this post, is The Magister.
According to a ‘True Blood’ wiki, The Magister was born in 1462 and was turned into a vampire against his will in 1525. It’s now his mission in “life” to act as the judge in matters involving the laws and codes of vampiric life.Supposedly The Magister’s name was Magnus, and he claimed to have been active in the Inquisition. That ‘True Blood’ wiki did some research for me on that subject:
Historically, the only Inquisition going on during his human life was the Spanish Inquisition which started in 1478 and ended in 1834. This Inquisition was under the control of the Spanish monarchy who used Spanish clergy to carry it out. Logically it follows that Magnus would have had to [have] been a member of the Spanish clergy then, specifically a member of the Catholic priesthood.
His name doesn’t have to be actually Magnus; he may have changed it over the centuries. To me, it just smacks of a Germanic background and not exactly the kind of name to be borne by a Spanish priest. But he could have been from a Bavarian order, whose expertise in the ways of torture were sought by his Spanish brethren in the Church.
Although there are vows of celibacy laid upon the clergy, we know even in modern times that those vows aren't strictly upheld. (Boy! Do we know about that!) It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that Magnus sired at least one child before he was embraced into the kindred of vampires.
And from that child, a lineage could have been established which down through the centuries spread the branches of Magnus' family tree far and wide. And if we were to assume that Magnus had "agarnistic" DNA - that is, capable of creating multiple copies of an exact strand, then we have seen several of his descendants since the mid-1990's.
Among those with a large presence in Toobword who might be part of the Magnus family tree: Blake Sterling - 'The Event' We don't know anything officially about him yet, - he's an adviser to the President in some way - as 'The Event' will be one of the Fall offerings on NBC. (And by "officially", I mean what's been broadcast, not what is written up by the Peacock promo people.) But we do know this - with Blair Underwood playing the President, this is in some other TV dimension. Ray Fiske - 'Damages' A lawyer who worked closely with Patty Hewes. Even if the show hadn't been canceled, we wouldn't have seen much of him anymore anyway.....
JJ Percy Walker - 'Big Love' Head of the polygamous cult in Kansas with a secret plan to revive the eugenics threat of the late 1990's (as seen in 'Star Trek'). Don't worry - one of his wives made sure that wasn't going to happen.
Emile Danko - 'Heroes' AKA "The Hunter" Although 'Heroes' was in its own dimension by the end of the series' run, it started off in Earth Prime-Time. So there must have been a Danko in the main Toobworld, and there may still be one...... ASA Ed Danvers - 'Homicide: Life On The Street' & 'Law & Order' & "Homicide: The Movie" A future member of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame! Governor James Devlin - 'Oz' I don't think we ever learned the governor's home state, but it could be he and Ed Danvers were related. (BTW - that's not my mistake in the picture......)
Sammy Wheaton - 'Edge of Night' Another character who's no longer around - he was found murdered in 1982. And then there are the recurring and one-shot roles:
Elliott Dasher - 'Shark'
Edmund Burke - 'Lost' "House M.D." .... Jason
"The Mentalist" .... Dr. Linus Wagner
"Numb3rs" .... William Fraley
"Queens Supreme" .... Carl Sipple
"Cold Case" .... John Doe
"Bones" .... Carl Decker
"Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" .... Everett Drake "The Inside" .... Teddy Bunch
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" .... Andrew Melton
"NYPD Blue" .... Justin Deroos
"Law & Order" - Gov Love (2004) TV episode .... Richard Kaplan - American Dream (1993) TV episode .... Phillip Swann (No idea why somebody didn't recognize these two men as looking like Ed Danvers.)
"The Jury" .... Mason Garvey
"Touching Evil" .... Ronald Hinks
"The West Wing" .... Steve Atwood NO!
"The Practice" .... D.A. Mark McGovern
"The Twilight Zone" .... ER Chief
"24" .... Andre Drazen NO!
"Crossing Jordan" .... Dr. Elliot McCafferty
"The Job" .... Peter
"ER" .... Bruce Resnick
"Trinity" .... Tim Holloway
"Players" .... Eduard Micah
"Ally McBeal" .... Judge Marshal Pink
"C-16: FBI" .... Loren Bitts
"Total Security" .... Ronald Ducote
"Millennium" .... Dr. Daniel 'Danny' Miller
"Frasier" .... Dr. Arnold Shaw
"Chicago Hope" .... Eugene Ramsey
"Murder, She Wrote" .... Eddie Saunders
"If Not for You" .... Elliot Gordon
"The X-Files" .... Dr. Arthur Grable & Roland
"L.A. Law" .... Joel Lassen
"St. Elsewhere" .... Mark Dolson
What all these characters have in common in the real world is that they were all played by Zeljko Ivanek. After so many centuries, the Magnus bloodline would be so diffuse that none of these characters could really claim to be related to each other - save for the evidence of how strong that DNA chain was, as demonstrated by their similar physical features.
I decided to eliminate from consideration all of the TV movies, as well as the historical characters. Even though fictional characters have been related to real people in the past, using historical figures like John Dickinson, Eddie Jacobsen, and Bobby Kennedy (pictured) just leaves this theory open to the pozz'bility of Zonks. As for the TV movies, the same tendency towards Zonks could happen, but they're still a vital part of the Toobworld mosaic. In some cases, they could also be transferred over to Earth Prime-Time/MOTW, in which their line of succession for the American presidency can all be found in the movies of the week.
Besides Blake Sterling of the upcoming 'The Event', two other characters were eliminated for consideration to be descended from Magnus: Andre Drazen of '24' and Steve Atwood of 'The West Wing'. Both of those shows take place in their own TV dimensions and don'tnecessarily share all of the same characters. 'Heroes' also took place in another TV dimension, but not until Future Hiro went back in Time to warn Peter on the subway. After that, the series followed a different timeline in a new dimension, which ultimately had a different President of the United States than to be found in Toobworld and the real world.
Several of these men, the "children" of Magnus, are no longer with us - JJ Percy Walker, Ray Fiske, and Edmund Burke come to mind; and several others have gained either prominence in the press or notoriety in law enforcement circles. Sooner or later, some of them must have noticed that they had "twins" elsewhere in the world. This works to the advantage of The Magister, who can freely operate in a society that would attribute his rare appearances in public to one of the many humans in his family tree.
Finally, here's a little musical tribute to the many characters played by Zeljko Ivanek.....
BCnU!
This is going out to my buddy, Mark, a big fan of the Magister......
As the Trickster once said, "Reality is boring, that's why I change it whenever I can."
I'm just "The Man Who Viewed Too Much", and "Inner Toob" is a blog exploring and celebrating the 'reality' of an alternate universe in which everything that ever happened on TV actually takes place.
Most of my theories about the TV Universe come from thinking inside the box and thus can't be proven. But I've never been one to shy away from a tall tale.....
Remember: "The more you watch, the more you've seen!"
Chris Kattan is eligible for membership someday as himself. And that's even if his appearance on an episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' this year proves to be invalid.
Chris Kattan is eligible for membership someday as himself. And that's even if his appearance on an episode of 'How I Met Your Mother' this year proves to be invalid.
