LINKS TO THE LEFT UPDATE

Updated my list o' links to the left there, adding three more sites you may like to visit:

eTV Reviewer

Creatively Progressing

TVaholic

As always, there was no sense of priority for the placement of these links. I just put them where they would best fit in with the others.

Check them out and see if they fulfill your Toobworld needs.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

CRIKEY!

For the Halloween episode of 'South Park', Satan is throwing the world's biggest Halloween costume party, and no one is getting in without a blue wrist band. Unfortunately, even Satan can't plan for everything as a religious organization and the antics of the most notorious serial killers of all time might ruin his good time.
(Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and John Wayne Gacy were dressed up as the Three Stooges.)

Also at the party were Princess Diana, Hitler, and Ghandi. Also some priests with little boys on leashes.

[information... information... information from TV.com]

You'd think the viewing public would at least be offended by the presence of Diana, or maybe the priests.

But nooooooo! They saved their scorn for a different target.....

From Radio Telefis Eirann:

A new sketch in the television cartoon 'South Park', which mocks recently deceased television star Steve Irwin, has sparked outrage. The sketch, which is part of the Halloween episode of the show, depicts the entertainer at a party which is being hosted by Satan, with a stingray barb poking from his chest.

Here's the the transcript of that scene:

Satan's minion: Satan, we have a problem. One of the guests has turned up in a crocodile hunter costume, and it's really offending some of the other guests!
Satan: Oh jeez (Walks across the party to a guest in a crocodile hunter outfit) Erm, er, dude, the whole crocodile hunter thing, it's just not cool. He like only died a few weeks ago! You're gonna have to go.
Steve Irwin: But Satan it's me, Steve Irwin! I am the crocodile hunter!
Satan: Oh, oh. Then no costume, man, you gotta leave!
Steve Irwin: (Being dragged away) Wait no! I thought we were friends.

Again from RTE:

The 'Crocodile Hunter' star died last month when he was pierced in the chest with a stingray's barb. He was filming an underwater documentary at the time.

According to ITV, John Beyer of TV watchdog Mediawatch said: "This is such bad taste and the makers of 'South Park' should review their decision to show it. Steve's family are still grieving."

However the show's creators responded to criticisms by saying: "We have offended people in the past and probably will again. We know that regular watchers will not be shocked.''

From the BBC Online:

Comedy Central said: "The South Park guys do inappropriate things all the time...Their goal is to make people laugh, not to offend people."

Tony Fox of Comedy Central said: "We recognise that they [the South Park creators] do a lot of provocative things - is this one of them, probably yes. "They are largely free to do what they like in terms of creativity and kinds of subject matter, and this is perhaps just another example of that."

But Mr Beyer said of the Mr Irwin sketch: "Mr Irwin's family are obviously still grieving about their tragic loss and it seems inappropriate to me that South Park should be trying to make some capital out of it.

"To lampoon somebody's death like that is unacceptable, and so soon after the event is grossly insensitive and shows a great deal of disrespect for his family."

Am I bovvered? Nah. After ten years of 'South Park', I would have been only surprised by the fact that it took them until now to do it, if it weren't timed to be broadcast so close to Halloween.

No matter what I may think of what really happens in the Afterlife, "One Step Beyond", in the Tooniverse, this scene actually took place.

I would think those Steve Irwin defenders would be pleased by the sketch. After all, Satan threw him out, so he's free now to go to Heaven, right?

Some people are never satisfied.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

FOR ANY CHICAGOANS VISITING TOOBWORLD

I would hope that it comes as no surprise to regular visitors to this bastion of Toobworld that I have no great love for network executives, the suits. Quite often I have invoked the traditional curse: "May they be nibbled to death by ducks!" (Thank you, Morley Safer.)

But every so often some grey, faceless drone among those ranks surprises me and shows me that they really do get it when it comes to Television; that it's not just a business.

Chicago Tribune TV columnist Maureen Ryan had this news item the other day:

To honor the passing of actress Jane Wyatt, who played Margaret Anderson on “Father Knows Best” as well as many other memorable roles, WWME-Ch. 23 is airing a two-hour marathon of Margaret-centric “Father Knows Best” episodes starting at 11 a.m. Sunday.

I wish some station here in the NYC area would do something like that. And I would hope that TV Land also paid some sort of tribute to her as well......

There's a WWME suit out there who has the thanks of a grateful Toober.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE HAT SQUAD: ARTHUR HILL [PART TWO]

These are the contributions made by the late Arthur Hill to several dimensions of Toobworld:

TV SERIES
"Glitter" (1984) TV Series .... Charles Hardwick
"Hagen" (1980) TV Series .... Carl Palmer
"Owen Marshall: Counselor at Law" (1971-1974)... Owen Marshall

TV CROSSOVERS
"Marcus Welby, M.D."
- I've Promised You a Father: Part 2 (1974) TV Episode
- I've Promised You a Father: Part 1 (1974) TV Episode .... Owen Marshall
- Men Who Care: Part 1 (1971) TV Episode .... Owen Marshall

TV MINI-SERIES
"Something Ventured" (1977) (mini) TV Series .... Narrator
Vanished (1971) (TV) .... Arnold Greer
[This takes place in the Movie of the Week dimension of the TV Universe, along with 'Washington: Behind Closed Doors' and 'Of Thee I Sing', and several other MOWs with a fictional president.]

TV PILOTS & SEQUELS
The Murder of Sherlock Holmes (1984) (TV) .... Preston Giles
[This was the pilot for 'Murder, She Wrote'. Preston Giles holds a distinct place in that series' history because of this role, and he would return to the series as Giles one last time......]
Glitter (1984) (TV) .... Charles Hardwick
The Return of Frank Cannon (1980) (TV) .... Dr. Curtis McDonald
Hagen (1979) (TV)
Owen Marshall, Counsellor at Law (1971) (TV) .... Owen Marshall
[Being a TV movie, this pilot marks the first of Owen Marshall's qualifying stats to gain entry into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.]

TV MOVIES
Christmas Eve (1986) (TV) .... Andrew Kingsley
Murder in Space (1985) (TV) .... Vice President
[From what I could find out about this TV movie on Showtime, there's no reason to think that it doesn't take place around the same time it was shown on TV. The fact that the USSR is still around helps bolster that belief. Therefore, it's possible this could have happened during the presidency of Owen Lister in "The West Wing" dimension of the TV Universe. As far as I know - and I could be wrong - Owen Lister's Vice President was never named, nor was he ever shown. At the same time, being a TV movie, it could fit in just as well with the other MOWs in their separate dimension.]
The Guardian (1984) (TV) .... Dr. Phil Julian
Love Leads the Way: A True Story (1984) (TV) .... Mr. Frank
Prototype (1983) (TV) .... Gen. Keating
Intimate Agony (1983) (TV) .... Dr. Holliston
Miss Lonelyhearts (1983) (TV) .... Willy Shrike
Tomorrow's Child (1982) (TV) .... Dr. Glenn Gorham
Angel Dusted (1981) (TV) .... Michael Eaton
Riel (1979) (TV) .... Taylor
Tell Me My Name (1977) (TV) .... Porter McPhail
Death Be Not Proud (1975) (TV) .... John Gunther
Ordeal (1973) (TV) .... Richard Damian
The Other Man (1970) (TV) .... Paul Maitland
Special for Women: Mother and Daughter (1961) (TV) .... Philip Evans
The Stone Boy (1960) (TV) .... Father
The Closing Door (1960) (TV)

CINEVERSE CONNECTIONS
Revenge of the Stepford Wives (1980) (TV) .... Dale 'Diz' Corbett
[This would also connect to the literary universe as well, since "The Stepford Wives" was first a book by Ira Levin. I don't have a code name for that universe though; however it is the basis for novels by L. Sprague deCamp and Fletcher Pratt and by Marvin Kaye.]

TELE-HISTORY
The Ordeal of Dr. Mudd (1980) (TV) .... Gen. Thomas Ewing
Churchill and the Generals (1979) (TV) .... President Franklin D. Roosevelt
Judge Horton and the Scottsboro Boys (1976) (TV) .... Judge James Edwin Horton

GUEST APPEARANCES
"Murder, She Wrote"
- The Return of Preston Giles (1990) TV Episode .... Preston Giles
Columbo: Agenda for Murder (1990) (TV) .... The Governor
[Nothing suggests that "The Governor" was from California. He was merely the leading candidate in the race for the Presidency. But I will have to check on that....]
Perry Mason: The Case of the Notorious Nun (1986) (TV) .... Thomas Shea
"Tales of the Unexpected"
- People Don't Do Such Things (1985) TV Episode .... Terence Carter
"Little House on the Prairie"
- Journey in the Spring: Part 2 (1976) TV Episode .... Lansford Ingalls
- Journey in the Spring: Part 1 (1976) TV Episode .... Lansford Ingalls
"Hallmark Hall of Fame"
- The Rivalry (1975) TV Episode .... Abraham Lincoln
- Born Yesterday (1956) TV Episode .... Paul Verrall
"The Name of the Game"
- Aquarius Descending (1970) TV Episode .... Brighton
- Echo of a Nightmare (1970) TV Episode .... Leo Crown
"The Bold Ones: The New Doctors"
- Giants Never Kneel (1970) TV Episode .... Ainsley Walters
"Bracken's World"
- All the Beautiful Young Girls (1969) TV Episode .... Jason Forrest
"The F.B.I."
- The Attorney (1969) TV Episode .... Richard Bender
- By Force and Violence: Part 2 (1967) TV Episode .... Max Griswold
- By Force and Violence: Part 1 (1967) TV Episode .... Max Griswold
- The Plague Merchant (1966) TV Episode .... Edward Lennan
- Flight to Harbin (1966) TV Episode .... Ernest Putnam/Dr. Charles King
"Lancer"
- Warburton's Edge (1969) TV Episode .... Charles Warburton
"Judd for the Defense"
- My Client, the Fool (1968) TV Episode .... Jim Davis
[This was an ABC series, but before the time of Owen Marshall. If only...]
"The Fugitive"
- Death Is a Very Small Killer (1967) TV Episode .... Dr. Howell
"Disneyland"
- Atta Girl, Kelly!: Part 3 (1967) TV Episode
"Run for Your Life"
- The Assassin (1967) TV Episode .... Bill Dagen
"The Invaders"
- The Leeches (1967) TV Episode .... Warren Doneghan
"Bob Hope Presents the Chrysler Theatre"
- The Fatal Mistake (1966) TV Episode .... Donald Hammond
"Mission: Impossible"
- The Carriers (1966) TV Episode .... Janos Passik
"Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea"
- Monster from the Inferno (1966) TV Episode .... Lindsay
"The Reporter"
- Vote for Murder (1964) TV Episode .... Alan Slater
"The Defenders"
- Go Between (1964) TV Episode .... Matthew J. Ritter
- The Last Six Months (1962) TV Episode .... Fred Braden
- The Boy Between (1961) TV Episode .... Mike Remington
"Slattery's People"
- Question: Remember the Dark Sins of Youth? (1964) TV Episode .... Dr. George Allison
"The Nurses"
- Night Shift (1962) TV Episode
"Route 66"
- Kiss the Maiden All Forlorn (1962) TV Episode .... Howard
"The United States Steel Hour"
- The Big Laugh (1962) TV Episode
- Game of Hearts (1960) TV Episode
- The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1960) TV Episode .... Robert Howell
- The Enemies (1958) TV Episode .... Putnam Bayne Jr.
"The Untouchables"
- The Canada Run (1962) TV Episode .... Fr. Francis Gregory
"Armstrong Circle Theatre"
- The Battle of Hearts (1961) TV Episode
"Ben Casey"
- The Sweet Kiss of Madness (1961) TV Episode .... Alan Reynolds
"Lamp Unto My Feet"
- Episode dated 26 November 1961 (1961) TV Episode .... Walter Matthews
"Great Ghost Tales"
- Who Is the Fairest One of All? (1961) TV Episode .... Horace Kipper
"Play of the Week"
- A Clearing in the Woods (1961) TV Episode
- The Closing Door (1960) TV Episode
"Alfred Hitchcock Presents"
- The Man Who Found the Money (1960) TV Episode .... William Benson
- Human Interest Story (1959) TV Episode .... Howard Wilcox
[Howard Wilcox was a Martian, but not of the same race as was Exigius 12 1/2 of 'My Favorite Martian' and Phobos and Deimos of "Controlled Experiment", an episode of 'The Outer Limits'. Based on his description of what a Martian should look like, apparently the Red Planet had two separate species of sentient beings evolve on its surface.]
"Dow Hour of Great Mysteries"
- The Woman in White (1960) TV Episode .... Walter Hartright
"The DuPont Show of the Month"
- Ethan Frome (1960) TV Episode
"Studio One"
- The Morning After (1957) TV Episode .... Ivory
"Colonel March of Scotland Yard"
- The Silver Curtain (1956) TV Episode .... Jerry Winton
"Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Presents"
- Dreamstuff (1954) TV Episode .... Jim

BCnU.....
Tele-Toby

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

Here's a transcript from 'The View', presented without comment:

Elizabeth: Last week, S.V.U. had an episode where a 30-year-old woman in New York City was raped twice and then murdered, and her name was Elizabeth Hassenbeck. And I found that disturbing.
Barbara: Not the most common name.
Elizabeth: About as close as you can get to a name that probably only one person in the whole world has: me. Maybe there are two others in Germany somewhere. I was upset by this, just because I thought it was socially irresponsible. So I didn’t know what to do about it, so I called the executive producer of Law & Order: SVU. I’m not gonna say his name.
Rosie: But you can Google it at home.
Elizabeth: He eventually called me back. He was defensive right from the jump. And I said, “Look, someone, I want to let you know I think it’s socially irresponsible to do this nowadays. I have a family and it’s suggestive.” I said “I know what you guys did. It’s essentially my name.” And he said “Well, you can just chalk that up to coincidence.” And I said “Really? That’s funny. Because your show is so not based on coincidence, and pulls things from the headlines and is so focused on headlines, so I’m having a hard time chalking this up to coincidence.”
Barbara: Good for you.
Elizabeth: He got more angry, pulled over, and he said “I’m sorry we hurt your feelings.” And I said “It’s not about feelings, whatsyourface, and I just wanted you to hear from me first before I come out here and vent on The View.” I said “I’m sorry too, because I never want to sit next to anyone on that show, and I think they’re good actors and good people, but I can’t sit next to them without feeling as though I’ve been disrespected and put at risk.” So he said “You know, I don’t have to deal with you… goodbye, Lady!”
Barbara: You have to wonder, who was it that wanted your name. Was it somebody that disagrees with you politcally?
Joy: Could it have been a coincidence?
Rosie: I don’t know, if they had Rosie O’Connell, an overweight lesbian talk show host, I might go “Maybe it’s me!”

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE HAT SQUAD: ARTHUR HILL [PART ONE]

Arthur Hill, who brought engrossing ciomplexity and understated intelligence to hundreds of roles on stage, screen and television, and won a Tony Award for his performance in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?,” died n Pacific Palisades, Calif. He was 84.

The cause was complications of Alzheimer’s disease, his friend Walter Seltzer said.
Mr. Hill was a well-known face on television for many years. On the television series “Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law,” which ran from 1971 to 1974, he played the title role, a lawyer whose main interest was helping people.

Arthur Edward Spence Hill was born in Melfort, Saskatchewan, on the Canadian prairie. His boyhood ambition was to be a lawyer like his father, who knew each of the town’s 2,000 residents and was eager to help them with their problems. Writers have noted that in many ways Arthur Hill’s “Owen Marshall” character resembled the actor’s father.

He stopped acting after his first wife, Peggy Hassard, died in 1990.

His television work included "Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” “The Defenders,” “Ben Casey,” “The Untouchables,” “The F.B.I.,” “Mission: Impossible,” “The Fugitive” and “Marcus Welby, M.D.”, in which he made two crossovers as Owen Marshall. In the beginning of his career in television, Arthur Hill appeared on “The U.S. Steel Hour,” “Hallmark Hall of Fame,” “Studio One” and other shows that emphasized serious drama.

[adapted from the New York Times obituary]

Since the pilot movie for 'Owen Marshall, Counsellor At Law' counts as a separate entry from the series, Mr. Hill's character is deserving of entry into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

In a book I read about Henry Fonda, Fonda found out that he was offered the role of George in "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?", but that his agent never told him about it before he rejected it.

When he went to see it on Broadway, Fonda realized that this part was something he could have scored big with. But there was Arthur Hill doing a fantastic job of it and making it indelibly his own.

When he got home, Henry Fonda fired that agent.

BCnU....
Tele-Toby

THAT'S SO DHARMA: A RETRO-CROSSOVER

Yesterday afternoon, I sat down to watch my Thursday night's tapes - 'My Name Is Earl' & 'The Office' (sadly, no 'Murder City' this week) - only to find they were very recent repeats.

So with nothing left to watch (I'm finally caught up on my TBVLs - to be viewed later), I started flipping. And I landed on an episode of 'Dharma & Greg' which I missed first time around.

Here's the plot description:

Dharma discovers Greg is really the only man for her when she agrees to attend a dance with a nerdy high school kid, but meets with some serious competition from the younger crowd. Meanwhile, Larry sings his "You guys are okay" song to Edward and Kitty, causing Kitty to fall and hurt herself; this prompts Kitty to sue Larry after she is embarrassed by her donut-cushion in front of the mayor. Larry represents himself, while Pete arbitrates.
[thanks to TV.com]

As Dharma danced with Greg at the close of the show, I saw a banner hanging in the background which identified the school as Bayside High School.

This is the same high school in San Francisco which Raven attends in 'That's So Raven'. So I have a definite link between those two shows. And 'Dharma & Greg' connect to Toobworld thanks to an appearance by Dick Clark as not only a member of the League of Themselves but also as a member in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame (December, 2000).

As the 'D&G' episode aired in November of 1998, and 'That's So Raven' didn't premiere until January of 2003, Donald obviously must have graduated before Raven attended the school. So there was no unseen crossover going on.

Apparently the sets used for Bayside High School in 'That's So Raven' are the same sets used in the 'Saved By The Bell' series. However, they are not the same school; 'Saved By The Bell' took place a little further south along the coast of California in Palisades. More than likely both high schools shared the same architetural firm... probably the one headed by Mike Brady of 'The Brady Bunch'.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

MY SITCOM LIFE: "THE EVIL DEAD" MUSICAL

Do you have any examples of TV sitcoms which mention theatrical musicals based on movies or plays which you'd never think would be adapted as musicals?

I'm confusing you, aren't I?

Here are two examples I came up with, both from 'The Simpsons':

'Planet Of The Apes' - the musical
'Streetcar Named Desire' - the musical

I'm blocked on more examples, but I know there have been others, always good for a laugh.

Last night, I actually went to one of those musicals, adapted from a movie (in this case, 2 1/2 movies) which I never would have guessed to become musical material.

"The Evil Dead"!

It's based on the first two movies, with some great lines (like the speech about the "boomstick") lifted from the third movie, which was also mentioned in the final scene.

It's a big, goofy spoof with plenty of gore spewing out into the audience. Since I wasn't in the splatter zone, I found it hilarious to see that happen to the others in the front rows. I'm scheudenfreude that way......

My only complaint was that too much of the show was played to the audience and the lines punched up - give us some credit, we get the jokes on our own. But any show that gives me a Bullwinkle J. Moose impression is aces in my book!

Nobody can step into Bruce Campbell's blood-soaked shoes as Ash, but Ryan Ward did a good job at it and could definitely play Campbell's ganglier brother.

My favorite song in the show? "What The F*** Was That?" and my favorite lyric was "You F***ing Stabbed Me!".

That's right. That was a lyric, not a line.

It's playing at the New World Stages over on W. 50th Street between 8 and 9th Avenues in New York City. I'm not saying it's fun for the whole family - I know some people walked out. But if you're in the mood for something along the lines of "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and "Little Shop Of Horrors", and just ready to laugh, check it out.

Until they make a musical out of the "Saw" trilogy....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE HAT SQUAD: PETER BARKWORTH

Actor Peter Barkworth who was best known for playing Mark Telford in the 1979 television series 'Telford's Change' has died at the age of 77, just 10 days after suffering a stroke.

The Kent-born actor appeared in episodes of cult TV series 'The Avengers' and 'Doctor Who'. And he won two BAFTA awards for his performances in "Professional Foul" and "The Country Party" on 'The Play Of The Week' and 'The Play For Today' respectively.

TV SERIES
"Late Starter" (1985) TV Series .... Edward Brett
Champions (1984) .... Nick Embiricos
"Telford's Change" .... Mark Telford
"Good Girl" (1974) TV Series .... Eustace Morrow
"Manhunt" (1969) TV Series .... Vincent
"The Power Game" (1965) TV Series .... Kenneth Bligh

MINI-SERIES
"London Embassy" (1987) (mini) TV Series .... Sir Charles Smallwood
"The Price" (1985) (mini) TV Series .... Geoffrey Carr
"Winston Churchill: The Wilderness Years" (1981) (mini) TV Series .... Stanley Baldwin

TV MOVIES & PLAYS
The Secret Adversary (1982) (TV) .... Mr. Carter
Professional Foul (1977) (TV) .... Anderson
The Country Party (1977) TV Episode
The Saturday Party (1975) TV Episode
The Apple Cart (1975) TV Episode
The Millionairess (1972) TV Episode
Rasputin (1971) TV Episode
Melissa (1974) (TV) .... Guy Foster
The Passenger (1971) (TV) .... Det. Insp. Martin Denson
Special Project Air (1969) (TV) .... Wing Cmdr. Routledge
P. and O. (1969) (TV) .... Mr. Jephson
Dr Atkinson's Daughter (1969) (TV) .... Dr. George Mackintosh

GUEST APPEARANCES
"Heartbeat"
- End of the Line (1993) TV Episode .... Frank Milner
"Maigret"
- Maigret and the Minister (1993) TV Episode .... The Minister
"The Return of Sherlock Holmes"
- Silver Blaze (1988) TV Episode .... Colonel Ross
"Tales of the Unexpected"
- What Have you Been up to Lately? (1982) TV Episode
"Secret Army"
- Guilt (1977) TV Episode .... Hugh Neville
- Lost Sheep (1977) TV Episode .... Hugh Neville
"Colditz"
- The Spirit of Freedom (1972) TV Episode .... Brauner
"Dead of Night"
- Return Flight (1972) TV Episode .... Captain Rolf
"The Rivals of Sherlock Holmes"
- The Case of Laker, Absconded (1971) TV Episode .... Arthur Hewitt
- The Affair of the Tortoise (1971) TV Episode .... Martin Hewitt
"The Guardians"
- The Dirtiest Man in the World (1971) TV Episode .... Quarmby
"Out of the Unknown"
- To Lay a Ghost (1971) TV Episode .... Dr. Philimore
- Get Off My Cloud (1969) TV Episode .... Stephen
"Paul Temple"
- Has Anybody Here Seen Kelly? (1971) TV Episode .... Springett
"Thirty-Minute Theatre"
- Asquith in Orbit. (1971) TV Episode
- A Matter of Principle (1968) TV Episode
- Turn Off If You Know the Ending (1967) TV Episode
"Armchair Theatre"
- The Company Man (1970) TV Episode .... Bob
- The Keys of the Cafe (1965) TV Episode
"ITV Playhouse"
- End of Story (1969) TV Episode .... Acrollyte
"The Avengers"
- The Morning After (1969) TV Episode .... Merlin
- The Correct Way to Kill (1967) TV Episode .... Mr. 'Percy' Percival
- The Medicine Men (1963) TV Episode .... Geoffrey Willis
- Kill the King (1961) TV Episode .... Crichton-Bull
"The First Lady"
- Upset (1968) TV Episode .... Bailey
"A Man of our Times"
- The Name of the Man (1968) TV Episode .... Roberts
"Doctor Who"
- The Ice Warriors: Part 3 (1967) TV Episode .... Leader Clent
- The Ice Warriors: Part 1 (1967) TV Episode .... Leader Clent
"Haunted"
- Many Happy Returns (1967) TV Episode
"Half Hour Story"
- Wedlock (1967) TV Episode .... Jimmy
"Undermind"
- Intent to Destroy (1965) TV Episode .... Victor Liberton
"Public Eye"
- Nobody Kills Santa Claus (1965) TV Episode .... Eric Hart
"Detective"
- The Hungry Spider (1964) TV Episode .... Det. Insp. Christopher Smith
"The Protectors"
- The Deadly Chameleon (1964) TV Episode .... Tilsworth
"Scales of Justice"
- Position of Trust (1963) TV Episode
"Maigret"
- A Man of Quality (1960) TV Episode

THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
"This Is Your Life"
- Peter Barkworth (1979) TV Episode .... Himself

BCnU.....
Tele-Toby

2006 SERIES DEBUT REPORT: "TORCHWOOD"

Thanks to my Gallifreyan support team of Mark and Michael, last night I got to see the first two episodes of 'Torchwood'.

By now, most fans of the Time Lord know that 'Torchwood' is an anagram for 'Doctor Who'. They also know that it stars John Barrowman as the charismatic Captain Jack Harkness. Jack is a rogue Time Agent from the 52nd Century who appeared in the last five episodes of Christopher Eccleston's service as the Ninth incarnation of the Doctor.

Several allusions were made to the show's roots in 'Doctor Who': the time/space rift running through Cardiff, as seen in "Boom Town", past invasions by the Cybermen, "The Christmas Invasion" by the Sycorax last year in which the Doctor lost his hand (and which just might be one of Captain Jack's prized possessions back at Torchwood HQ).

Also, Team Torchwood has a pet pterodactyl flitting about its headquarters which apparently is tame enough to be let loose to hunt pigeons in Cardiff during its aerial maneuvers. This could be a descendant of a pterodactyl left behind after the "Invasion Of The Dinosaurs", one of the adventures for the Third Doctor (as played by Jon Pertwee).

Gee, I hope they don't nickname it "Pterry". Been there; done that.

Creator Russell T. Davies, who was responsible for reviving 'Doctor Who' in 2005, is striving to give 'Torchwood' its own identity apart from the Doctor. The themes are going to be more adult in nature, which has earned the show its berth in a post-watershed timeslot.

Based on the first two episodes, the show should succeed in that goal, even without the gratuitous sprinkling of words normally bleeped in Toobworld. (The F-bleep is uttered in just over a minute into the pilot episode, and I know any eventual American audience is never going to hear its many mentions of "shit" when it's broadcast here. Not unless HBO or Showtime or perhaps FX carries the show. But Sci-Fi? Not likely.)

The plotline for the second episode ("Day One") - about a sex-starved alien who kills via orgasm through its human host - isn't really that far off the mark from episodes of 'The X-Files' and the update of 'The Outer Limits'. Again, it will just need some judicious editing of her first kill (as well as of the flashback for the witness) so that it could pass muster with the Gestapo in charge of the FCC. (Not a fan, that.)

The series' premise is general enough so that it can go off in many different directions with the storylines. In that, the show can be considered similar to the American grown 'Eureka'.

'Torchwood' is the name given to an organization that operates outside of the authority of all governments, charged only with the protection of the British Empire from alien forces. As we saw in "Tooth And Claw", an episode from 'Doctor Who' this year, Queen Victoria initiated the project after her encounter with the Tenth Doctor (played by David Tennant).

It's Torchwood's task to not only counter any possible invasion by aliens (if the Doctor and UNIT don't beat them to it), but also - and perhaps more importantly - recover artifacts of any purpose from those aliens.

They're a lot like the American 'Threshold' project in that respect - only not so dour.

The influences for the show are pretty obvious - 'The X-Files', 'Kolchak', 'Men In Black', 'Mission: Impossible', and even "Silence Of The Lambs". One could even point to Gerry Anderson's SuperMarionation for inspiration in the team concept; and I was reminded of 'Babylon 5' at one point. (As with the Babylon project, the fourth version of Torchwood is missing......)

But that's no slam against what Davies has crafted. Toobworld is built upon traditions; it's just a matter of how they're interpreted to make them stand on their own.

The introduction to Team Torchwood is also a classic of tradition: the Outsider who stumbles upon the team in action, and eventually is invited to join.

As I said earlier, the show can encompass all genres, not just be pigeonholed as an alien of the week hunt like 'Threshold' became.

In fact, the first episode ("Everything Changes" - a title that made me think of a Hurley-centric episode of 'Lost' last year) was a good old-fashioned murder mystery, serial killer style. (Last year's 'Doctor Who' episode "The End Of The World" was also a murder mystery in the locked-room, gather all the suspects tradition - Agatha Christie in Outer Space sort of thing.)

It had me guessing right up the Big Reveal, and this was accomplished by the opening credits being used as a cloaking device.

As for our omnisexual action hero, John Barrowman hits all the right notes as Captain Jack. Swashbuckling with the right combination of playfulness and mystery, and a suggestion of sorrow in his possible backstory.
Captain Jack is a hoopy frood.

We don't learn how Captain Jack was able to extricate himself from where we last saw him in "The Parting Of The Ways", the final episode of Christopher Eccleston's work in 'Doctor Who'. But Davies has come up with an interesting consequence to Captain Jack's fate in that season finale; one which could put the Captain on a par with the Doctor himself, as well as with Superman and even two wild and crazy guys from the New Testament.

(And it's something to be found in the theoretical backstory I created for my favorite TV villain, Dr. Miguelito Loveless of 'The Wild, Wild West'.)

Eve Myles plays that Outsider newcomer, PC Gwen Cooper. She appeared in one of my favorite 'Doctor Who' episodes, "The Unquiet Dead". Unfortunately, as seems to be the case with the Companions for the Doctor created by Davies, she's been saddled with a home life storyline complete with its own cast of characters - the lumpish boyfriend and the former partner on the Force. Maybe Davies is setting her up for the big emotional wallop - let's say her work with Torchwood leads to the deaths of those she holds dear sort of thing. We'll see.

Eve Myles as Gwyneth the maid in "The Unquiet Dead" could be somehow related to Gwen Cooper, separated by almost 130 years. But Gwen had no children when she died in 1879, so it's not a direct lineage. Personally, I'd like to think she is Gwyneth's soul reincarnated.

Of the other members of Team Torchwood, we've already met one of them, again in 'Doctor Who': Doctor Toshiko Sato first appeared in the episode "Aliens Of London". At the time, she was a medical intern at hospital, but now she's a computer whiz kid. Not mutually exclusive, but we didn't see any indication of that in 'Doctor Who'. Perhaps her medical skills will come into play eventually while working with 'Torchwood'.

As for Burn Gorman who plays Owen Harper, I'd love to see them finally reveal his character as being the non-human on the team. I don't mean any (okay, not much) disrespect, but his facial bone structure easily lends itself to the idea that he was not born on this Earth.

Not necessarily on another planet; just not on this Earth. Since there is that space/time rift running through Cardiff, he may have slipped (or "slid"?) through from an alternate timeline - one in which the human race didn't evolve into homo sapiens, but some other offshoot. Do you remember the Kro-Mags of 'Sliders'? That was a similar concept.

I'm a baaaad boy for saying this, but while watching him last night, I said to my hosts that he had a better monkey face than even George W. Bush. (And Ethan Phillips, who played Neelix in 'Voyager', could be from that same alternate universe as well!)

So that's what I would add to his characterization to make him a unique member of the team. Probably even give him a vestigial six-inch tail to boot, just like Cromwell claimed that the Irish had!

Gareth David-Lloyd is the reason I thought of 'Mission: Impossible' when it came to shows similar to 'Torchwood'. As Ianto, he's their version of Peter Lupus as Willie Armitage. Not for the muscles, obviously, but for all-around security and transportation needs.

Right now, the character of Ianto is a bit colorless. For all I know, that makes him typically Welsh. (I'm going to get letters......) But I mentioned last night that I would have liked to have seen someone of color in that role.

Had things worked out differently, Mickey Smith could have been brought over from 'Doctor Who' like Dr. Sato, and he could have become Torchwood's "Tin Dog".

But it's not to be.

Okay. So let's get down to the Toobworld notes.

I haven't fully articulated this yet in the "Inner Toob" blog - at least, my poor excuse for a memory tells me I haven't, - but the Ninth and Tenth Incarnations of the Doctor are doppelgangers from a parallel dimension. In the main Toobworld, we lost the opportunity to view his adventures after the FOX TV-movie starring Paul McGann as Doctor Number Eight.

This means that 'Torchwood' should be sent over to that alternate dimension as well. With the inclusion of Dr. Sato and the mention of "The Christmas Invasion" (not to mention the hand!), it's obvious this version of Team Torchwood shares the same dimensional address as RTD's vision of the Doctor.

This would account for why we never saw Team Torchwood make an appearance in any of the episodes over the first 25 years of 'Doctor Who'. Despite such things as the Cybermen invasion and the invasion of the dinosaurs, Torchwood never made their presence known in those instances. (I'm talking about the reality within Toobworld, obviously. I KNOW why they never showed up in those real world instances - they hadn't been created yet by Davies.)

However, there's always a back door strategy. We know from upcoming episodes of 'Doctor Who' that there is an alternate version of Torchwood operating in another dimension. So there could always be one in the Main Toobworld as well.

I think the Doctor is still going full blast in the Main Toobworld and that he even may have gone through the Eccleston and Tennant incarnations. It would be nice to bring that Doctor back, so long as we excise any thought of Harriet Jones as the Prime Minister and Arnold Schwarzenegger as the President. And the same goes for Toobworld; having two different versions of Dr. Sato might explain why Toshiko was a medico in one universe, and a First Contact operative in the other.

So that's my O'Bservations on 'Torchwood'. So long as I can force "Markhael" into letting me come over to watch it, I plan to stick with it. It may even end up on my list of the five best must-see shows of 2006.

And who knows? Maybe some network suit will stumble across this review and decide that they should pick up the rights to the show and broadcast it in America as soon as possible.

If not, then that weevil of a network suit should suffer the same fate as all network suits.

Say it with me, Kids....

"May they be nibbled to death by ducks!"

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"Sometimes a little technobabble is good for the soul."
Captain Jack Harkness
'Torchwood'