SUPER BOWL BLIPVERTS 2012 - SKECHERS

I don't have much to say about this one, save that it's damn funny.

But Mr. Quiggly could be not only a human reincarnated as a dog, but a famous human at that.

Could it be that he's the reincarnation of Michael Jackson because of the moon-walk at the finish line?

Or could he be Jesse Owens, Olympic champion runner?

I'm sure there are plenty of other world-famous sprinters who have passed on, but he's the only one to come to mind.....

BCnU!

LEFTOVER CROSSOVER LASAGNE

 "What do we do?
Get Madam LaZonga to perform a seance?"
Detective Lennie Briscoe
'Law & Order'

Lulu Schultz was a childhood friend of Batman's foe The Penguin. She married a South American millionaire named Luigi Lasagne for his money, but he didn't have the decency to drop dead right away. After three weeks of wedded blerg, Senor Lasagne divorced her.

Needing money, she teamed up with The Penguin for a criminal scheme but they were foiled by the Dynamic Duo.

After Lola Lasagne served her time in the Gotham State Penitentiary, the former Lulu Schultz may have moved to New York City. There she may have changed her name to Madam LaZonga (after the song) in order to become a fortune-teller and spiritual medium as a means to earn a living. It may not have been strictly legal, but so long as she stayed away from any serious criminal activities, I guess the authorities turned a blind eye to her activities.

But even so, they were aware of her and detectives like Lennie Briscoe probably used her as a confidential informant on occasion (which would be how he knew her.)

It was 1994 when Detective Briscoe mentioned her in that snide remark to Lieutenant Van Buren, and Lola Lasagne would have been about 86 years old. That's not unreasonable to believe, even though Ethel Merman, who portrayed her, passed away ten years before. But she'd be dead by now, I'm sure. 104 years after her birth.....

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: D'ARTAGNAN

D'ARTAGNAN

AS SEEN IN:

'Wishbone'

AS PLAYED BY:

Wishbone

CREATED BY:

Alexandre Dumas

TV DIMENSION:

Not Applicable

STATUS:

Dream Figure

From Wikipedia:

Charles Ogier de Batz de Castelmore, Comte d'Artagnan (c. 1611 – 25 June 1673) served Louis XIV as captain of the Musketeers of the Guard and died at the Siege of Maastricht in the Franco-Dutch War. A fictionalized account of his life by Gatien de Courtilz de Sandras formed the basis for the d'Artagnan Romances of Alexandre Dumas, most famously including "The Three Musketeers". The heavily fictionalized version of d'Artagnan featured in Dumas' works and their subsequent screen adaptations is now far more widely known than the real historical figure.

The real d'Artagnan's life was used as the basis for Gatien de Courtilz de Sandras' novel "Les mémoires de M. d'Artagnan". Alexandre Dumas in turn used de Sandras' novel as the main source for his d'Artagnan Romances ("The Three Musketeers", "Twenty Years After", and "The Vicomte de Bragelonne"), which cover d'Artagnan's career from his humble life's beginnings in Gascony to his death at Maastricht. Although Dumas knew that de Sandras' version was heavily fictionalised, in the preface to "The Three Musketeers" he affected to believe that the memoirs were real, in order to make his novel more believable.

D'Artagnan is initially portrayed by Dumas as a hotheaded youth, and tries to engage the Comte de Rochefort and the three musketeers, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis in single combat. He quickly becomes friends with the musketeers, and has a series of adventures which put him at odds with Cardinal Richelieu, then First Minister of France. In the end, Richelieu is impressed by d'Artagnan, and makes him a Lieutenant of the Musketeers. This begins his long career of military service, as detailed in the sequels to Dumas' famous novel.

BCnU!

"WHO-TREK" - CROSSOVER NEWS!

If only it was going to be a TV production......


First Ever Star Trek®/Doctor Who Comic Book Crossover Coming in May

Star Trek: The Next Generation® crew and the Doctor face off against the Borg and the Cybermen

In conjunction with BBC Worldwide Consumer Products and CBS Consumer Products, IDW Publishing will make history when two of the greatest science-fiction properties of all time come together in a comic book for the first time. The world’s most popular time traveler teams up with the U.S.S. Enterprise crew in STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION/DOCTOR WHO: ASSIMILATION2, taking fans on an adventure where no man has gone before.

“By joining these two sci-fi powerhouses, fans will be taken on the ultimate adventure through time and space,” said Liz Kalodner, executive vice president and general manager of CBS Consumer Products.

Launching in May, STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION/DOCTOR WHO: ASSIMILATION2 will feature fan-favorite villains the Borg and the Cybermen as they create an unholy alliance resulting in potential disaster for all humanity. Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise find themselves joining forces with the Doctor and his companions, with the fate of the galaxy hanging in the balance.

“We are excited about this new adventure for the Doctor and the fact that he will be traveling with Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his iconic crew. This is a perfect partnership for not only Doctor Who’s incredible fans, but also for the brand. We have just celebrated our most successful year yet. Doctor Who’s latest season delivered record ratings for BBC AMERICA and it was most downloaded full TV seasons of 2011 in the U.S. on the iTunes Store,” says Soumya Sriraman, executive vice president Home Entertainment and Licensing.

This eight-issue series will be written by Scott and David Tipton, the authors of critically acclaimed Star Trek: Infestation, with a helping hand from longtime Doctor Who writer Tony Lee, and will feature fully painted artwork by J.K. Woodward (Fallen Angel).

Fans are encouraged to ask their retailers about the rare wraparound photo cover. Plus, artist Joe Corroney (Star Trek Ongoing) will provide a variant cover featuring the Doctor and friends aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Doctor Who and Star Trek are two hugely successful franchises that began as television series, and have expanded into a number of other media, including comic books, which continue to captivate fans all over the world. Nearly five decades and 1,500 episodes in the making, this is the moment that both Trekkers and Whovians have waited for all their lives!

STAR TREK TNG/DOCTOR WHO: ASSIMILATION2 ($3.99, 32 pages, full color) will be available in stores in May 2012.

WHITE COLLAR WONDER WOMAN

"Lose the hands on the hips;

You look like Wonder Woman."

Mozzie

'White Collar'

No mention of the comic book, none of the TV show, so for the Toobworld Dynamic this was a reference to the actual Amazon princess/superhero. There was no mention of Diana Prince, so unless another TV show negates this theory, then we can assume her secret identity was still secure - unlike those of Superman, Batman, and the Flash. (And from what I've seen in the IMDb, the mentions have all been about Wonder Woman, not Diana Prince.)

Here's the full exchange of dialogue:

El: I’m gonna tell them I’m FBI.

Mozzie: That is the worst plan I’ve ever heard, literally ever. They won’t buy it.

El: Why not?

Mozzie: You don’t carry yourself like a fed.

El: Well, I’ve been married to Peter for over a decade. I can do this.

Mozzie: Okay, let me see your G-man impression.

El: Elizabeth Burke. FBI. I want to ask you some questions.

Mozzie: Okay, first of all, lose the hands on the hips. You look like Wonder Woman. Good.
Now I need to see more hatred in your eyes. You should exude pure evil, born of a blackened soul. That’s how they look to me!

BCnU!

Sending this out to my buddy Mark Thompson, who's a big fan of Wonder Woman......

SUPER BOWL BLIPVERTS 2012 - BUD LIGHT

While I admire Bud Light's advocacy of adopting rescue dogs, I think this blipvert sends the wrong message - that you should get a rescue dog so that it can slave away for you.

I wouldn't be surprised if the off-screen sequel (Life goes on even when you're not on screen, remember.) went horribly dark, and Weego killed his master.

But leaving aside that editorial opinion, I think this reincarnated human could have been a butler or manservant in his previous life.

And it would have to be one who has already joined the Choir Invisible, which would leave out TV characters like Benson DuBois from 'Soap' and Geoffrey Hudson from 'Fresh Prince Of Bel Air' and 'The Bold & The Beautiful'. (Yes, I believe both characters played by Joseph Marcell were the same man.)

But here are a few other candidates:

Max ('Hart To Hart')

Higgins ('Our Man Higgins')

Mr. French ('Family Affair')

Saunders ('Soap')

And keeping with the literary turn taken by the "As Seen On TV" showcase this year:

Jeeves ('Jeeves & Wooster')

Bunter ('Lord Peter Wimsey Mysteries')

Passepartout ("Around The World In Eighty Days")

Mr. Belvedere ('Belvedere' was a novel before it became a series of films starring Clifton Webb.)

Plus from the comic book universe, adapted for TV:

Alfred Pennyworth ('Batman')

If Cantinflas had been the Passepartout of the TV Universe, I may have gone with that option. 

But I think because he looks like a scrapper, I'm going with Weego being the reincarnation of Max from 'Hart To Hart'.

Most of the others are far too British to be such a mutt. (Although Higgins might have come close.....)

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: "THE TIME MACHINE"

 THE TIME TRAVELER

AS SEEN IN:

'Wishbone'

AS PLAYED BY:

Wishbone

CREATED BY:

H.G. Wells

TV DIMENSION:

Not Applicable

STATUS:

Dream Figure

From Wikipedia:

"The Time Machine" is a science fiction novella by H. G. Wells, published in 1895 and later adapted into two feature films of the same name, as well as two television versions, and a large number of comic book adaptations. It indirectly inspired many more works of fiction in many media. This 32,000 word story is generally credited with the popularisation of the concept of time travel using a vehicle that allows an operator to travel purposefully and selectively. The term "time machine", coined by Wells, is now universally used to refer to such a vehicle. This work is an early example of the Dying Earth subgenre.

The book's protagonist is an English scientist and gentleman inventor living in Richmond, Surrey, identified by a narrator simply as the Time Traveller. The narrator recounts the Traveller's lecture to his weekly dinner guests that time is simply a fourth dimension, and his demonstration of a tabletop model machine for travelling through it. He reveals that he has built a machine capable of carrying a person, and returns at dinner the following week to recount a remarkable tale, becoming the new narrator.

In the new narrative, the Time Traveller tests his device with a journey that takes him to 802,701 A.D., where he meets the Eloi, a society of small, elegant, childlike adults. They live in small communities within large and futuristic yet slowly deteriorating buildings, doing no work and having a frugivorous diet. His efforts to communicate with them are hampered by their lack of curiosity or discipline, and he speculates that they are a peaceful communist society, the result of humanity conquering nature with technology, and subsequently evolving to adapt to an environment in which strength and intellect are no longer advantageous to survival.

Returning to the site where he arrived, the Time Traveller finds his time machine missing, and eventually works out that it has been dragged by some unknown party into a nearby structure with heavy doors, locked from the inside, which resembles a Sphinx. Later in the dark, he is approached menacingly by the Morlocks, ape-like troglodytes who live in darkness underground and surface only at night. Within their dwellings he discovers the machinery and industry that makes the above-ground paradise possible. He alters his theory, speculating that the human race has evolved into two species: the leisured classes have become the ineffectual Eloi, and the downtrodden working classes have become the brutish light-fearing Morlocks. 

Deducing that the Morlocks have taken his time machine, he explores the Morlock tunnels, learning that they feed on the Eloi. His revised analysis is that their relationship is not one of lords and servants but of livestock and ranchers, and with no real challenges facing either species. They have both lost the intelligence and character of Man at its peak.

BCnU!

SUPER BOWL BLIPVERTS 2012 - VOLKSWAGEN

SPOILERS AHEAD!

'Lost' may have ended nearly two years ago, but there will always be people who have yet to see the end of the series.......

Come to think 'pon it, you better avoid this post if you haven't seen 'Life On Mars' (the original version from the UK) and its sequel 'Ashes To Ashes'. Perhaps the finale of "Homicide: The Movie" as well.......

Okay. Are we ready to proceed with another Toobworld Central look at the dogs of the Super Bowl blipverts?

Then let's begin.....

Remember this scene from the end of 'Lost'?

The souls of many of the main characters from the show were gathered with those who had played an integral part in their lives because of the crash of Oceanic 815. They were in a facsimile of a church in the dimension of "Limbo" to finally move on to the next stage, whatever might come. This happened many years after the events of the series, once everybody had finally shuffled off the mortal coil back in the dimension of Earth Prime-Time. Until such time, each new arrival in Limbo lived out an alternate life with different memories of their past; and some of them even had fictional relationships to buttress the believability of that life (like Jack's "son" David.)

Finally, with Jack's father Dr. Christian Shephard acting as their guide, they knew it was time to go into the light.

Only to be reincarnated as dogs.

That's a major premise in Toobworld - when a human character dies, it most likely will come back to Earth Prime-Time in the guise of a dog (if it doesn't go straight to Heaven or Hell upon death). There are so many TV commercials that support this claim, and this year's Super Bowl offered up at least four of them.

'Lost' shared the same premise of Limbo as a gathering place with the original UK version of 'Life On Mars', its sequel 'Ashes To Ashes', the TV adaptation of the movie "Madigan", and the final moments of the sequel movie to 'Homicide: Life On The Street'. But we never got to see what happened once they left that ethereal waiting room to see what awaited them on the other side.

If they did come back as canines, would they still have shared such a destiny, remaining in close contact with each other?

The teaser to VW's Super Bowl commercial seems to suggest that they might....

No, I'm not saying these are the character from 'Lost'. Like I said earlier, many of them - like Claire Littleton and Desmond Hume - still have long lives ahead of them.

But I think these dogs are the reincarnation of a subset of nameless TV characters - sci-fi nerds. And in particular, "Star Wars" enthusiasts.

The "Star Wars" franchise has been around for thirty-five years and has been absorbed into the TV Universe. (And yes, that sadly includes the "Turdogy" of prequel movies.) In that time, there must have been many citizens of Toobworld who were O'Bsessed with the films and who have since gone on to meet their maker.

Who knows? Maybe Neal Schweiber of 'Freaks & Geeks' is dead. I certainly can see Neal's friend Bill Haverchuck as that AT-AT Whippet who arrives by the end of the ad.

Reincarnated humans as dogs retain their human skills and memories, so it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that these "Star Wars" geeks found each other in their new life and reignited their passion for the magnum opus of LucasFilms in a new way.

Maybe.

The first part of the official Super Bowl blipvert for VW - "The Dog Strikes Back" - continues the theme of a human reincarnated as a dog. The way I see it, in his past life as a human he was a car enthusiast. But because he can remember that past life he's let himself go physically - depressed that he can remember that life and believes he can no longer drive because he's a dog. (Saturday's Video Weekend will prove him wrong.)

Still, the new VW inspires him to get back in shape and so he calls upon past memories of how to go about developing an exercise regimen.

As for the second part of the commercial, set in the Mos Eisley cantina?

First off, "Star Wars" has been absorbed (or abducted) into the TV Universe, thanks to all the blipverts over the years which featured its characters... plus the Ewoks TV movie and an episode of 'The Muppet Show'.

But those movies took place "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away". So all of the habitués in this bar should be long dead. We know definitely that these two must be:

So what we have here is a similar situation found in 'Lost', 'Ashes To Ashes', and "Homicide: The Movie" - deceased TV characters gathered in their own version of Limbo (in this case, the Mos Eisley cantina) as they await the time when they can move on as one to the next stage.

(I have no idea what form of reincarnation would apply to non-humans or to humans not born on Earth Prime-Time.)

Meanwhile, as they wait, they're able to view life on Earth.......

Two for Tuesday! (Although with that added scene in the cantina, you get a bonus splainin!)

BCnU!

ALIEN ALEC - TWO FOR TUESDAY!

When you see those Capital One credit card commercials with Alec Baldwin and his "twin", the first thing to remember is that not even the original is Alec Baldwin.

Instead, he is the alien creature we saw in the Hulu commercial who was impersonating Alec Baldwin. His species was using Hulu.com to liquefy human brains in order to gobble them up (using a melon baller.)

Whatever "Alec Baldwin" looked like in its true form, it was green with tentacles. It should have been a multi-cell creature, yet apparently it practiced mitosis in order to replicate.

And that's what we saw in this latest batch of Capital One blipverts - the alien Alec and its clone progeny.

Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: "THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER"

PRINCE EDWARD VI & TOM CANTY

AS SEEN IN:

'Wishbone'

AS PLAYED BY:

Wishbone

CREATED BY:

Mark Twain

(Although Edward VI is an historical figure)

TV DIMENSION:

Not Applicable

STATUS:

Dream Figure

From Wikipedia:

Edward VI (12 October 1537 – 6 July 1553) was the King of England and Ireland from 28 January 1547 until his death. He was crowned on 20 February at the age of nine. The son of Henry VIII and Jane Seymour, Edward was the third monarch of the Tudor dynasty and England's first monarch who was raised as a Protestant. During Edward's reign, the realm was governed by a Regency Council, because he never reached maturity. The Council was first led by his uncle Edward Seymour, 1st Duke of Somerset, (1547–1549), and then by John Dudley, 1st Earl of Warwick, from 1551 Duke of Northumberland (1550–1553).

Edward VI is a central character in Mark Twain's novel The Prince and the Pauper, in which the young prince and a pauper boy named Tom Canty, who bears a strikingly uncanny resemblance to Edward, deliberately exchange places. This ultimately leads to the eventual alarm and discomfort of both. Ultimately, both are saved by a semi-impoverished nobleman named Sir Miles Hendon.

The novel begins with Tom Canty, an impoverished boy living with his abusive family in London. One day, Tom Canty and Prince Edward, the son of King Henry VIII and Jane Seymour, meet and as a jest, switch clothes. While dressed in the pauper's rags, the Prince leaves the palace to punish the guard who knocked Tom down. However, the boys look remarkably alike and because they switch clothes, the palace guards throw the prince out into the street. The Prince fares poorly in London because he insists on proclaiming his identity as the true Prince of Wales. Meanwhile despite Tom's repeated denial of his birthright, the court and the King insist that he is the true prince gone mad. Edward eventually runs into Tom's family and a gang of thieves and Twain illustrates England's unfair and barbaric justice system. After the death of Henry VIII, Edward interrupts Tom's coronation and the boys explain, switch places, and Edward is crowned King of England...

Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!