Thursday, March 12, 2009

SCHIFF-Y TOOB

Okay, I said I'd refrain from commenting on proposed pilots, but when news of casting on this one was announced, I couldn't resist:

FOX is prepping a pilot for Richard Schiff to play a legendary expert in the field of reincarnation (which does exist in Toobworld). 'The Reincarnationist' is about investigators solving present day mysteries caused by past-life traumas.

Uh huh.

Please let there at least be an in-joke appearance by the one and only 1928 Porter touring car! BCnU!
Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: MICHAEL STEELE

Continuing our showcase of the televersions from this past week's 'Saturday Night Live', the "As Seen On TV" spotlight is on Michael Steele, the G.O.P. chairman who appeared on "Weekend Update". Mr. Steele had been outfitted with an electrode installed into his brain by the minions of the real party boss, Rush Limbaugh. And every time Steele said something contrary to what that gasbag believed, he was given an electric shock.Remember, Kiddies: Rush Limbaugh IS the GOP: Garrulous Oxycontin Partaker.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

SUMMER OF MY DISCONTENT

Long-time visitors to this site know how I feel when a TV show mentions another TV show AS a TV show. That's a "Zonk", a discrepancy in the concept that all TV shows should be sharing the same TV Universe. Sure, we have 'Sliders' to provide the template for alternate TV dimensions (although the basic idea existed long before 'Sliders' came along, thanks to shows like 'Star Trek'). But the dream is for them all to co-exist.

On Monday night, the four uber-nerds of 'The Big Bang Theory' took a train from Pasadena to San Francisco to attend a conference, and most of them became spazmodos once they realized that actress Summer Glau was riding in the same car with them (at least to Santa Barbara). For genre fans, Summer is currently starring in 'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles' and has also been in 'Firefly', its sequel movie "Serenity", and 'The 4400'.

Raj, Howard, and Leonard all took a shot at chatting her up, with only Raj even coming close to keeping her interested - at least until he found that he was "buzzed" on near-beer. And several times during their various conversations with Ms. Glau, her work in both 'Firefly' and 'The Sarah Conner Chronicles' came up. But even those Zonks paled before the biggie tossed off by Sheldon - who wasn't even i the running to talk to Summer!

"If Skynet actually did exist in the Future, a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy all of Mankind would be to send Terminators back, posing as actors who have played Terminators in popular films and television series; lulling us into a false sense of security - i.e.: 'That's Summer Glau from "The Sarah Conner Chronicles"! No, Summer! Don't kill me! I'm pro-robot!' Pow! Aaaaack!"

Sure, it was a major blow to the unified Toobworld concept, but man, was he funny with the delivery!

When the series first started, I dealt with the problem of Terminator Zonks, but those were all about the earlier movies, usually just the first one, mentioned in TV shows that were broadcast before 'The Sarah Conner Chronicles' debuted. Now we had a TV sitcom making jokes about the 'T:TSCC' series itself. Add to that Raj's reference to 'Firefly' and how Summer - as River Tam - once traveled the stars on that show, and the entire episode was one big Zonkfest.

Toobworld Central had already established that the basic series of 'Firefly' was off in the alternate TV dimension for the revamped 'Battlestar Galactica' because the Serenity - or some other Firefly-class spaceship was seen in that show's pilot episode. But it looks like I'll have to dump 'The Sarah Conner Chronicles' as well now after that Summer Squee.

Probably just as well. The 'Terminator' movies, with a new one coming soon, are such a pop culture touchstone now, there will always be Zonks about them. I'm sure 'The Big Bang Theory' will still deliver its onw fair share of Zonks in episodes to come, but hopefully we'll be able to find a way to disable them. (It'll be easy enough if they stick to just mentioning 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars'.)
One added item of interest - if you check out the preview clip at either CBS.com or at Hulu.com, you'll see Sheldon's Skynet speech reworked with added SFX to later scenes of Summer Glau dealing with the other guys. It's pretty funny if low-tech.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

MAKING BOOK ON "CASTLE"

Depending on how successful 'Castle' turns out to be for ABC, the bookshelves of Toobworld could be groaning under the weight of the tomes written by Richard Castle, a detective fiction writer called by his publisher (and ex-wife) "The Master Of The Macabre". Maybe there won't be as many books as written by Jessica B. Fletcher of 'Murder, She Wrote', but certainly more than we ever discovered to be written by Maxwell Beckett in the series 'Over My Dead Body'.

Here are the books by Rick Castle that were mentioned in the series debut:

From the Derek Storm series of novels:
Storm Fall
Storm's Break
Gathering Storm

Three books that were considered some of his lesser works:
Death Of A Prom Queen
Flowers For Your Grave
Hell Hath No Fury

And two more which were seen on a bookshelf:
A Skull At Springtime
A Rose For Everafter


Not a bad start for the show's contribution to TV trivia.

I'm not sure I heard Castle's ex-wife correctly, but I think she said the name of the publishing company was "Black Pond". If that's correct, maybe its owner took the name from Black Pond in Connecticut. Also, it makes for a nice rival to Whitestone Publishing from 'Dream On'. And since the world of 'Lost' should be influencing all of Toobworld (and not just with the Numbers), then that rivalry between the two publishing houses could be added to the black/white thematic.

I wonder if Kate Beckett, the detective working with Rick Castle, has any English relations? If she was related to Maxwell Beckett and had a falling out with her English kinsman, maybe that could be a reason why she's so cool to Castle......

Just sayin', is all.....

BCnU!
Toby O'B

"CASTLE" KEEPERS

Monday night was a great night for the League of Themselves: Summer Glau rode the train with the four "squints" of 'The Big Bang Theory', and in the premiere of 'Castle', "Master of the Macabre" Rick Castle played poker with fellow scribes James Patterson and Stephen J. Cannell.

Both authors could have been major Zonks for Toobworld. But luckily Patterson only mentioned his character of Alex Cross who was played by Morgan Freeman in two theatrically-released movies. What could have happened was that he might have mentioned the series of books about 'The Women's Murder Club', which was also a series on ABC like 'Castle'.

It wouldn't have been an insurmountable Zonk - we could have claimed that he wrote fictionalized versions of their exploits, true crime novels a la Capote's "In Cold Blood". But it's nice to just avoid that headache altogether.

As for Cannell, I found it hard to pick up exactly which of his characters he was talking about (even with repeated listens), but I think it may have been Shane Scully. It could have been any one of his numerous TV productions that he mentioned instead, so that kept me from being inundated from de-Zonking chores.

Stephen J. Cannell also provided several links to other shows for 'Castle' in his role as a member of the League of Themselves. He's appeared as his own televersion in the shows 'Tenspeed And Brown Shoe' ("This One's Gonna Kill Ya") and 'V.I.P.' ("Get Vallery"). So with three series under his belt, Cannell is eligible for membership one day in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: JAMIE LEE CURTIS

I think we'll close out the rest of the week with the surplus of televersions from this past week's edition of 'Saturday Night Live', which was hosted by Dwayne Johnson.

So, for our "As Seen On TV" showcase for Wednesday, we have Jamie Lee Curtis as she films another blipvert for Activia yogurt... and once again poops the couch.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

BORN TO RE-RUN: A BURNING SOUL

We're back at the Denbrow (I've also seen it spelled Dembro at the IMDb.com) ranch for a "Born To Re-Run" suggestion. Sheila Denbrow was 19 when she married widowed rancher John Denbrow and became step-mother to his daughter "Johnnie". But a few years of this hard life became too much for her, and she looked for any chance of escape - even if it was a fleeting afternoon of passion with some passing drifter or one of the hired cowhands. (That's the impression I got anyway; I don't think 'Cheyenne' was her first attempt to cheat on her husband. But Cheyenne was probably the first to refuse her advances.)

Sheila's desire for Cheyenne was also fueled by her realization that Johnnie had grown up to be a beautiful 17 year old and that she was a rival for the attentions of Cheyenne Bodie. Her unrequited lust, long-simmering anger at her situation, and insecurities about her aging looks led her to a very dark place in her mind. And so, on a night of celebration when her husband passed out drunk in the carriage inside the barn and she accidentally tipped over the lantern, setting the hay ablaze, Sheila Denbrow made the decision to leave John in there to his doom.
As time passed, the guilt became overwhelming; she became fixated on flames and kept hearing the screams of the horses. (Even though they survived, their cries became a substitute for those her husband could never utter.) Sheila Denbrow developed what Barney Stinson would say was a bad case of "crazy eyes", and she finally died when she was run down by the horse of rival rancher Martin Storm, who was trying to drag-lynch Cheyenne.
It's the contention of Toobworld Central that her soul was eventually reincarnated as Nora Chandler, a famous actress from the 1950's. Although she had no conscious remembrance of the events in that past life, it now became easier to accomplish the same results as Sheila did.
First, she murdered her husband; then years later, she killed her assistant, the only other person who knew what she did. (Although not stated in the 'Columbo' episode "Requiem For A Falling Star", I believe Nora's assistant was the young woman who had been having the affair with Nora's husband when they were discovered by the actress.)

And how did Nora kill her assistant? By setting fire to her car while she was in it.
Like I said, past life experience made it easier to do such heinous acts.

At least, that's my theory......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

HART LINE

In "The Storm Riders", 'Cheyenne' Bodie worked as a ranch hand for John Denbrow, his second wife Sheila, and his daughter Johnnie. There was an attraction between Cheyenne and 17 year old Johnnie; he even offered to stay on for a while longer, perhaps entertaining the idea that something might come of their interest in each other. But Johnnie sent him on his way - she knew he wasn't the type to be held down to any one place for very long. And besides, she felt ready to stand on her own as an adult, now that her father had died.

So Cheyenne Bodie wouldn't figure into the family tree of Johnnie Denbrow, but it's the Toobworld theory of Relateeveety that eventually she did marry and have children. And one of her grandsons would grow up to become a police detective in the Los Angeles homicide division.

If the theory is viable, in a world where genetic echoes are especially strong in succeeding generations, that grandson would be Sgt. Lester Hart, as seen on 'Burke's Law'.....

BCnU!
Toby O'B

MAGGIE MAY... SOONER THAN LATER

The BBC has commissioned a sitcom centered around a trade unionist (I'm not sure, but I picture the type of characters found in "I'm Alright, Jack".) who moves to a small, conservative village in County Durham. The press release says that other characters in the show would be a wealthy womanizer, a man-child and his battle-axe of a mother, a techno-wizard and an insane survivalist.

Usually I hold off on talking about pilots and proposed series until they actually air - why bother, if they're not going to be part of Toobworld in the end? But there was one intriguing item in the story: depending on when it is finally aired, it will be set in the future.

As a general rule, episodes of TV shows take place around the same time that they're first aired, unless they were definitely set in the Past or the Future. But even though the first episode is timed to coincide with the 25th anniversary of the miners' strike, it will kick off (litterally) with the death of Margaret Thatcher.

Like I said, the location of 'Silver Acres' on the Toobworld timeline depends on when it airs. The "Iron Butterfly" is still alive, (although in poor health mentally, I'm led to believe), so if it airs before she passes away, then it will be in the future on first airing. Not that I'm wishing it, but Mrs. Thatcher could join the Choir Invisible tomorrow; and then 'Silver Acres' would be set in the past.

I'll have to keep a lazy eye on this one......

[Pictured: Lindsay Duncan as Margaret Thatcher]

BCnU!
Toby O'B

THINKING TOOBALLY

I always enjoy reading TV reviewers and columnists who write in a Toobworld frame of mind, even if they don't realize it. And today I came across two examples which brought a smile.

First up is Keith McDuffie in his Clique Claque TV article about the Vikings in those Capital One commercials. (When they were dealing with just credit cards, I called them Visa-Goths.)

McDuffie offers his vision of a Geico Cavemen-styled sitcom for the berserkers:

"Here’s a possible premise for you: the largest credit card company in the world, Uppercase Two, is losing money. In order to fix the situation, the company’s CEO — who’s actually the Viking god Loki — calls upon the god Odin for help “like the old days.” To both help and punish Loki, Odin sends him one-hundred Viking warriors from the ninth century. Hilarity ensues!"

There have been worse premises.....

And then Nicholas Fonseca, writing for Entertainment Weekly, had a crossover moment while puzzling over the series finale for 'The L Word':

"As series finales go, this one was a head-scratcher. The tone felt heavy and ominous, and all that moody music was making me wonder when The Log Lady and The Man From Another Place would come sashaying through a scene."

BCnU!
Toby O'B