COLE SHUFFLE

In "Chuck vs. The Beefcake", 'Chuck' and his spy handlers Casey and Sarah met MI-6 agent Barker, Cole Barker, in typical "Marvel Team-Up" fashion. At first they battled each other and then after misunderstandings were ironed out, they teamed up to fight a common enemy - the rogue spy organization Fulcrum.

At one point Sarah was looking over Cole's online dossier which included an order of recognition from the Queen for distinguished service.

We don't know what Cole Barker did to gain that recognition, but it happened on St. Patrick's Day in 2005. It might be that his role in saving the hostages in a Heathrow terrorism plot - detailed in a newspaper clipping seen on the computer screen - is the reason. But since Cole Barker looked to be the type of secret agent who handled such crises on a daily basis, I'm thinking the order of recognition was for a separate case. He probably has a scrapbook full of such notices.
Many historical events, great and small, have been fictionalized for Toobworld - the bombing of Hiroshima, the explosion of Vesuvius, the assassinations of Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy, Roger Maris' run to beat Babe Ruth's home run record, the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous. So perhaps something happened on March 17, 2005, into which Cole Barker could have been inserted.

Looking over the major events of that day in Wikipedia, two stand out as pozz'bilities:

London police say they have foiled an attempt to steal £220 million from the London offices of the Sumitomo Mitsui Bank.

Russian police arrests an Australian man who threatened to blow up a passenger plane.

In both cases, Cole Barker could have been involved, but obviously the Russians would have downplayed his participation in that hostage crisis. And to keep "The Bear" pacified, the British government would have played along, thus the need to give Barker some quiet recognition for his heroism.

Just sayin', is all......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

TVXOHOF, 03/2009-A: HUGH HEFNER

We're celebrating the 10th anniversary of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame this year with an induction each week, with four themes each month. The first week is for the League of Themselves, in which celebrities appear as fictionalized versions of themselves in varous shows.

And so for March, our latest member is the founder and publisher of "Playboy" magazine, Hugh Hefner.

Here's the reasoning in terms of word association: March, March Hare, Bunnies!

There are a slew of shows - talk shows, variety programs, documentaries, news interviews, in which Hugh Hefner appeared as himself. A slew of Hugh. Three especially come to mind: 'Playboy After Dark', 'Saturday Night Live', and 'The Girls Next Door'.

But we don't need those programs, when there are so many dramas and sitcoms in which he appeared as his own televersion -


"Shark"
- One Hit Wonder (2008)

"Family Guy"
- Airport '07 (2007)

"Robot Chicken"
- Drippy Pony (2006)

"Curb Your Enthusiasm"
- The Smoking Jacket (2005)

"According to Jim"
- Charity Begins at Hef's (2005)

"Entourage"
- Aquamansion (2005)

"The Bernie Mac Show"
- The Talk (2004)

"Las Vegas"
- Year of the Tiger (2003)

"The Bronx Bunny Show"
- Episode #1.2 (2003)

"Just Shoot Me!")
- At Long Last Allie (2001)

"Sex and the City"
- Sex and Another City (2000)

"V.I.P." .... Himself
- Why 2 Kay (1999)

"Buddy Faro"
- Death by Airbrush (1998)

"Roseanne"
- What a Day for a Daydream (1996)

"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"
- Fresh Prince After Dark (1993)

"Blossom"
- True Romance (1993)

"The Larry Sanders Show"
- Broadcast Nudes (1993)

"The Simpsons"
- Krusty Gets Kancelled (1993)

"Laverne & Shirley"
- The Playboy Show (1982)

"The Odd Couple"
- One for the Bunny (1974)

"Burke's Law"
- Who Killed the Grand Piano? (1965) .... Bunny Club Manager
(But he might as well have been considered as Hugh Hefner. Perhaps the early beginnings for Hef's televersion differed from that in his real life.)

Hef's appearances on 'Family Guy' and 'The Simpsons' are for the Tooniverse. And 'Robot Chicken' takes place in that alternate TV dimension set aside for "Claymation", stop motion, and "Supermarionation" tv shows. His appearance on 'Roseanne' (and maybe 'Blossom') doesn't really count in connecting to other TV shows, as it was part of a fantasy daydream sequence. However, they had to know about Hefner in order to daydream about him.

Congratulations, Mr. Hefner. You and your smoking jacket are now members of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

LAND OF THE GIANT BURN NOTICE

Last Friday morning, after I finished doing my laundry, I watched two of the shows I DVR'd the night before - 'Burn Notice' and 'Land Of The Giants'. Since I had gone to bed late and got up way too early, I was still pretty tired; and so I fell asleep while watching 'Land Of The Giants'.
And the dream that those two inspired, with the audio track from 'Giants' probably feeding the narrative? I dreamt that former spy Michael Westin of 'Burn Notice' was now trapped in the 'Land Of The Giants' himself. And just as we saw that show's original cast use the giant props to their advantage (safety pins as grappling hooks, for example), Michael did the same. Only this time, we heard his voiceover explanation as to how such ordinary items could be turned into lethal bombs and the like, just as he does on 'Burn Notice'.

(Doesn't that top picture of Fi and Michael look as though they're resting up against the outside wall of some giant's house?)
A friend of mine in Facebook thought maybe I had been dreaming of giant spies, and this picture fits that concept better - if Michael Westin was a native of that strange world. This was the angle at which we usually saw the giants.....
BCnU!
Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: HARRY M. DAUGHERTY

The only name most people remember when the subject of the Teapot Dome Scandal comes up is that of President Warren G. Harding. But he was just the straw man, a front for all the shady dealings made by the advisors surrounding him.

A member of that "Ohio Gang" was Republican Party boss Harry Micajah Daugherty, and he's our televersion of the day for "As Seen On TV". In the miniseries 'Backstairs At The White House', Daugherty was played by noted character actor Barry Sullivan, even though he didn't resemble the real Daugherty in the least - not that appearance has ever been a deterrent for Toobworld. (The real Daugherty is seen below.)

From Wikipedia, here's a thumbnail sketch of Daugherty:

Harry Micajah Daugherty (January 26, 1860–October 12, 1941) served as campaign manager for Harding in the presidential election of 1920. He ran the campaign based on Harding's affable personality and fairly neutral political stance, advocating a return to "normalcy" after World War I. After Harding won the general election, he appointed Daugherty United States Attorney General.

Daugherty's controversial three years in office saw his name surface in connection with veterans bureau irregularities, alien property conspiracies, as well as his role in the pardoning of Eugene V. Debs and Charles W. Morse. However it was his alleged knowledge of a kickback scam involving bootlegers (operated by his chief aid Jess Smith) that led to his eventual resignation in March 28, 1924.

As the subject of a U.S. Senate investigation begun the year before, spearheaded under the direction of Junior Senator Burton K. Wheeler of Montana, Daugherty, was eventually not found guilty in the investigation.

There were rumors, hinted at in "Backstairs At The White House", that Daugherty had a homosexual relationship with his assistant, Jess Smith, with whom he shared rooms while they worked in Washington. (Jess Smith committed suicide during the Teapot Dome scandal.) Harry Townes portrayed Smith.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

THE WALKERS TAKE A HIKE

When Governor Eve Kern burst into Senator Robert McCallister's office on Sunday night's two-hour "movie" of 'Brothers & Sisters', I knew the jig was up. Single-handedly she shoved the series into a different TV dimension.

Governor Kern had been seen on the series a while back, when Kevin thought his brother-in-law was having an affair with her. But it turned out Robert was advising her on what she should do with regards to her political career and the possible revelation that she was having an affair with some other man. At the time, I wasn't worried about the ramifications from her appearance; nothing said she had to be the governor of California, which in Toobworld - as in the real world - should be Arnold Schwarzenegger. She could have been the governor from a nearby state - how often does the governor of Oregon crop up in TV shows? - and Robert could have been an old friend of hers whose political advice meant so much to her that she didn't mind making the trek to his state to consult him.

I didn't have that same trouble squeezing Robert into a California Senate seat - so long as one of their Senators is acknowledged to be Barbara Boxer, who has several televersion appearances on various shows to her credit (including 'Murphy Brown' and 'Gilmore Girls'). On the other hand, Dianne Fienstein only has public affairs programming appearances and so we could consider her a non-entity so far as Toobworld is concerned and that Robert held her seat instead.

But we can't do that with Governor Eve Kern; "the Governator" is too well-known in the job in Sacramento and across the nation. He's catnip to TV writers who want to get off a reference about him, jokingly or otherwise.

So it's off to another TV dimension for 'Brothers & Sisters'. (Never would have had this problem if they didn't aim so high with their political ambitions for the character of Rob McCallister. What? A state Senator position would have been too trivial for his ambitions?)

When it came to the eventual confrontation between Robert and the Governor, as to whether or not he should challenge the incumbent for the nomination, it could have all been handled with a phone call. That way we never had to see who Robert was talking to and we could have assumed it was Ahnuld. Of course, that might not have added one of the stress factor needed leading up to his heart attack......

So it's bye-bye to 'Brothers & Sisters' from the main Toobworld. But where to send it? There are two good options and they depend on who currently holds the presidency as far as the show is concerned.

If they think Obama won the election that Robert had to drop out of, then they could share the same dimension as 'Studio 60: Live On The Sunset Strip'. That had to go because it just made too many Zonks with references to other TV shows and even bringing on the actors from those shows as themselves, not their characters. 'Studio 60' and 'Brothers & Sisters' share something in common - both of them have a TV network called NBS.

Or if their president is somebody unnamed but fictional, we could add them to the number of shows that share the 'West Wing' TV dimension. Enough time has passed since that went off the air so that California could have a new senator and a new governor.

Either way, the Walkers are going to be in Sorkin territory. I hope they realize they'll have to live up to the family name with the way he handles conversations!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

DEVIL SEED

"I have been soiling pure innocent maidens since the beginning of time.
I have sired many, many children on this Godforsaken planet,
hoping that each would finally be the one to bring about hell on Earth.
But no, they turn out to be duds,
every single one of them."
The Devil
'Reaper'

That revelation comes from the second season premiere of 'Reaper' airing tonight on the CW. And as Toobworld should (hopefully) be all-inclusive, that must mean that TV characters from other shows - throughout the Toobworld timeline! - could possibly be the spawn of Satan.

The first idea that popped into my head - because of the Devil's statement that he was doing this since the beginning of Time - was Boss, the head caveman played by Cliff Norton in the 1960's sitcom 'It's About Time'. He was sort of evil, but most definitely he fits the bill as a dud. (Boss is seen below with his henchman Clon.)

But that's just one pozz'bility. Instead of me rattling off a list of other TV characters who might be able to call the Devil "Daddy", I'd like to see your suggestions. Leave a comment below and let me know who might be the son or daughter of Satan. And remember, you have the whole history of Toobworld to choose from!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: CAPTAIN BENJAMIN BRIGGS

Back in January, one of our first entrants in the "As Seen On TV" showcase was the Captain of the Lusitania, who was visited by a time traveler just before the ocean liner was torpedoed.

And now we have a similar situation from "The Chase", a First Doctor story in 'Doctor Who'.

While trying to evade the Daleks who were chasing them through Time, the Doctor and his Companions flitted to different points in Earth's history - from the Empire State Building in 1966, to Ghana in 1996. At one point, they landed on a ship in the Atlantic in 1872, but left before they could get too involved with the crew. However, the crew ended up facing the Daleks and were so panicked that they abandoned the ship by jumping overboard and taking the lifeboat. Even the Captain's wife and their 2 year old daughter plunged into the ocean to avoid the metallic monsters from outer space.
That doomed ship was the Mary Celeste, which was found deserted yet under full sail off the coast of Gibraltar on December 4th, 1872. And the captain was Benjamin Spooner Briggs, as seen here from that 'Doctor Who' episode which now serves as the official solution to the mystery of the Mary Celeste... at least in Toobworld.
BCnU!
Toby O'B

MAL CONTENT

"Zero", an episode of 'Law & Order' which first aired back in December, was repeated this past Saturday night, the elephant's graveyard of TV schedules. During the hour, we met Judge Malcolm Reynolds whose once-brilliant mind was slowly losing the battle to adult dementia or Alzheimer's, but who was being kept on the bench by the machinations of his law clerk.

At one point when Judge Reynolds was still lucid, he mentioned that he wanted to keep presiding in court because his wife was dead, his son was an alcoholic in Las Vegas, and there was nothing else for him in Life but the bench.

This wastrel of a son in Las Vegas.... Well, for once I'm not so manic intensive that I have to track down every character named Reynolds who might fit the possible age spectrum to be the Judge's son, on shows ranging from 'CSI' to 'Las Vegas' itself. I'd rather skip over the son and just move on down the timeline to consider the "pozz'bility" that the Judge might be the founder of the family tree which spawned Malcolm "Mal" Reynold, captain of the 'Firefly' class starship "Serenity" around the year 2517. There's only one hitch to making this claim, however. 'Law & Order' is firmly rooted in Earth Prime-Time, the main Toobworld. 'Firefly' was determined by Toobworld Central to take place in the same TV dimension as the new, "re-imagined", incarnation of 'Battlestar Galactica'. This was due to an in-joke appearance in the series' pilot by the Serenity (or a similar model ship) over the skies of one of the planets, probably Caprica, just before the Cylon invasion began. (It's about 14½ minutes into the episode.) This doesn't negate the pozz'bility, however. Shows like 'Star Trek', 'Buffy', and 'Hercules' have shown that TV characters have doppelgangers in other TV dimensions and their lives usually run similar to each other - unless of course it's the evil mirror universe!

I still want to keep 'Firefly' on the whole in Earth Prime-Time/BSG, simply to keep that show from getting lonely. However, that doesn't mean the characters and events of 'Firefly' can't also exist in the future timeline of the main Toobworld as well. And as such, Judge Malcolm Reynolds could be the ancestor to Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds.......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: BETTY BRODERICK

Meredith Baxter pretty much summed up the essence of made for TV movies on the Lifetime channel with her portrayal of Betty Broderick in two productions: "A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story" and its sequel, "Her Final Fury: Betty Broderick, The Last Chapter". I think those films may have even been the spark for such TV movies to have more than one title.

Here's the plot summary for the first movie from the IMDb.com:

"After sixteen years of marriage and four children, Betty Broderick's high-powered attorney husband decides to leave her for a younger woman with whom he's been having an affair. Hurt by his betrayal and feeling helpless against his legal expertise, Betty begins a campaign of vandalism and verbal assault. Her rage consumes her and ultimately leads to a terrible and violent act."

I still don't know why the audience was supposed to feel sorry for her - she was getting 16,000 bucks a month to live on, and she got the mansion that overlooked the Pacific. And despite that, she harrassed and terrorized her ex-husband and his mistress until finally she killed them both.

But apparently, Meredith Baxter pulled it off, so kudos to her talents.

This first picture is from "A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story":
And the next one is from the sequel:
BCnU!
Toby O'B

FROM LITTLE SEEDS.....

I don't know how many of you know this, but Dr. Miguelito Quixote Loveless is my all-time favorite TV character. Whenever pozz'ble (as Mushrat would say), I try to insert Loveless into my theories about a wide variety of TV shows, spanning thousands of years along the Toobworld timeline.

This goes back to the arrival of the Sahndarans on Earth around 400 BC. It is the Toobworld contention that a Sahndaran dwarf named Alexander must have sired a child with a woman in the area of Greece before leaving Earth with the rest of his people. (Because of the scientific advancements at his disposal, she probably saw him as some kind of deformed demi-god, like Vulcan, Pan, or Triton.) And the personal timeline of Dr. Loveless reaches at least to 1974, when - known only by the alias of "Clown" - he tried to take over the submarine Seaview.

It's my belief that the dormant genes inherited from his Sahndaran forebear were triggered by an influx of alien blood from another extraterrestrial. The Toobworld theory is that the biological father of Miguelito Loveless is a Gallifreyan Time Lord who was using the name of "Ramon Castillo" back in the early 1800s. But we know him better in the latter part of the 20th Century as "Mr. Roarke".

So the combination of those DNA strands with those untold generations of human DNA created a physical replica of Alexander who now had the regenerative powers of the Time Lords - but without the ability to gain a whole new body and personality quirks. After Dr. Loveless appeared to die at the end of most of his nine appearances on 'The Wild Wild West', he always came back to life looking exactly as he did before he died.
And so that's why we saw him again in the 1960's and 1970's, operating under different aliases - as "Mr. Sin", "Mr. Big", "The Clown", and perhaps several others. (During the 1940's, he was suffering from amnesia and thought himself to be a private investigator named Arthur Boyle. For that short time, he was working on the side of justice.)

For most of those times when he clashed with Secret Service agent Jim West, Dr. Loveless was accompanied by a beautiful young singer named Antoinette. She seems to have been totally devoted to him; perhaps drawn to his genius, but able to see beyond his inherent evil and still love him. I often wondered if they ever consummated that love they shared - something the constraints of the times would never have allowed to be shown or even acknowledged during the run of the series.

But let's suppose they did have a romantic relationship, where might it have led.......?

We never saw Antoinette again after the episode "The Night Of The Green Terror", but Dr. Loveless continued on for at least three more episodes. Could it be that Antoinette became pregnant with Loveless' child and settled down to raise that infant, while her paramour continued with his plans for world domination?

Those familiar with the 'Wild, Wild West' mythos might think they know where I'm heading with this - the first reunion movie from the early 1980's, when we met a man who claimed to be Miguelito Loveless, Jr.

Well, I'm not.

I'm still torn as to whether or not Miguelito Junior was indeed the son of Dr. Loveless. He may have been, but probably not by Antoinette. I'm thinking that if he was truly the son of Loveless, he was born during that time earlier in Loveless' life when he went by the alias of "George Marshall". Loveless had fallen in love and married, joining a circus to provide for his wife. But when she died in childbirth, he tried to get a job as a bank teller in Carson City, Nevada.

Despite a few obstacles, "George" eventually got that job in the bank. But something must have gone wrong; something must have triggered his need to resume his life as Miguelito Loveless and seek his fortunes by turning to the Dark Side. What if that daughter grew up as some kind of freak of nature (as she would have been branded in those times)? Due to her wildly messed up genetic mix 'n' match of human and alien DNA, perhaps she outwardly was born female, but eventually morphed into some kind of hermaphrodite - with female body parts, but sounding like, acting like, dressing like and even looking like a man (what with that goatee).

I wonder what Paul Williams would think if he found out that might have been the type of character he was playing?

And when his daughter/son mistakenly believed that Pere Loveless had died in 1880, his child took on the mantle of "Dr. Miguelito Loveless, Jr." in order to seek revenge on Agents Jim West and Artemus Gordon.

This hermaphrodite theory may be the reason why Miguelito Junior was so keen on cloning him/herself: in order to weed out the errant strands of his/her DNA to perfect a new body, one way or the other.

Maybe...... Oh, by the way, I think Dr. Loveless might even have fathered a child with another companion, Miss Kitten Twitty; a child, boy or girl, who was raised in Europe, and whose own son would grow up to work at his grandfather's master complex known as... "The Village"........

We know that Dr. Loveless was not faithful to Antoinette. When he made an alliance with an un-named super-power (probably Russia) to carve out a little bit of territory to become his kingdom, "Miguelito the First" was planning to rule it with a comely blonde consort by his side.
Anyhoo, getting back to the pozz'ble, jus' pozz'ble, love child of Miguelito and Antoinette......
I'm thinking they must have had a boy, if only because the family name had to live on to eventually - finally! - get to my point. Generations later, the heiress to the family name would be Diane Loveless. Raised in Great Britain, she may have found out about the terrible crimes perpetrated by her great+ grandsire and was so repulsed that she decided to become a policewoman in order to bring honor back to the family name. (Not that she wasn't above a little blacksheepery: Diane was known to be quite the shark in sleeping with other detectives on the force.)

After working closely with Interpol on credit card fraud, Ms. Loveless used the contacts she made to land a top position with a major bank when she left the force.

Luckily for her, Diane Loveless didn't share the physical traits of her forebear, and instead probably took more after the matriarch of the family tree, Antoinette. I just "met" Diane Loveless in the fourth episode of the first season for 'New Tricks'. (For the first two seasons, the episodes had no titles. I hate that!)

So, like most of my Theories of Relateeveety, this one can't be proven. But hopefully it makes for a fun spot of speculation.

SHOWS CITED:

'The Wild, Wild West' - James West, Artemus Gordon, Dr. Loveless, Antoinette, Belladonna, and Miss Kitten Twitty

'Star Trek' - Alexander & the Sahndarans

'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' - Clown

'Zorro' - Ramon Castillo

'Fantasy Island' - Mr. Roarke

'Amos Burke, Secret Agent' - Mr. Sin

'Get Smart' - Mr. Big

"Goodnight, My Love" - Arthur Boyle

"The Wild, Wild West Revisited" - Miguelito Loveless, Jr.

'The Prisoner' - The Butler and The Village

'New Tricks' - Diane Loveless
BCnU!
Toby O'B