THE VIEW OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE

I have a confession to make. I didn't watch 'Rome'.

I saw the first episode, but I couldn't see myself sticking with it. I've come to realize from what I've read online from others, and from my own brother's enthusiasm for the series, that I've made a big mistake.

I'm a Biggus Dickus.

It wouldn't be the first time. I didn't stay with 'Deadwood' and never even started 'Battlestar Galactica'.

Thankfully, there are the DVDs and Netflix. I do plan on rectifying the error of my viewing ways for all three series.

Now that the series is over after two seasons, my brother Bill offered his views on the glory that was 'Rome':

'Rome' is over. Would've gone for a more climactic declaration of Octavian as Augustus, even though the timing would've been off, but that didn't stop them before.... Very nice ending all in all. Most satisfying to see how they wrapped up the story of Titus and Vorenus, one of the most memorable duos in TV history. May start up 'I, Claudius' soon to see the characters who live on in that iteration.

Two episodes ago in 'Rome', they showed Octavia's daughter, Antonia, as a 5-year-old girl. Very cute. She grows up to be the mother of Claudius, grandmother of Caligula, and mother of the bitch/whore Livilla who beds Sejanus (Capt. Picard), poisons her husband and plots with Sejanus against emperor Tiberius until she's exposed by Antonia, her own mother, then walled up, alive, and left to starve to death while her mother, Antonia, listened.

Like I said, at age 5 Antonia was very cute.

Bill wrote the following post about two weeks ago or so to the bulletin boards at HBO's site:

'I, Claudius' is not only the logical continuation of the 'Rome' storyline, it is its rightful heir. Remember last season, in Julius Caesar's final days, he is poring over a huge map with his engineers, going over plans for a massive public works project, as Mark Antony and Vorenus discuss other matters with him....

[Bill is referring to the episode "The Kalends Of February".]

Well, flash forward to a scene in 'I, Claudius,' in the waning days of Emperor Claw-Claw's reign, a span of almost 100 years in real time. In one amusingly poignant scene, Claudius revels at his discovery of engineering plans prepared by Julius Caesar for a similarly massive public works project, which Claudius' present engineers had insisted could not be done at all.

It is as if the producers and writers of 'Rome' were tapping 'I, Claudius' on the shoulder as heir apparent. Intentional? Probably not, but so nice nevertheless.

This last and final episode you get a taste finally of what a bitch Livia will become.... it was another great bow to 'I,Claudius'.

Because of the length of the production and the detailed history that was provided, I wish to nominate 'Rome' as the official representation of that period in Time for Earth Prime-Time. As such, it can then be linked to 'I, Claudius' which was already assured of its spot in the main Toobworld, with the recastings of characters like Augustus, Livia, and Antonia attributed to the results of aging. That's always worked before as a splainin to get around such a bugaboo.

Other productions that dealt with the time period - such as 1999's "Cleopatra" with Billy Zane as Marc Antony and 2002's "Julius Caesar" with Jeremy Sisto in the title role - are one-shots that can easily be relegated to other TV dimensions. (Thanks to 'Sliders', we have thousands that need such delegates.)

There are two mini-series which might give 'Rome' a run for its money to be the official standard for Toobworld when it comes to the depiction of the era: 'The Cleopatras' and 'Ancient Rome: The Rise and Fall of an Empire'. Not having seen either one of them (yet), I can't say whether or not they have a better claim to the "honor".

Several other mainstays of the main Toobworld have dealt with Caesar in the past and thus need some sort of splainin to reconcile them with the portrayal of the character by Ciaran Hinds in 'Rome'.

1] 'Bewitched'
Julius Caesar and Cleopatra were both summoned to Westport, Ct., in the year 1969 via magic. Elizabeth Thompson played Cleopatra and Jay Robinson was JC. However, they were not plucked out of Toobworld's past, but from the timeline for an alternate TV dimension.

And I have just the candidate - the Toobworld in which all of our Real World leaders were simpletons, including Abraham Lincoln ('The Secret Files Of Desmond Pfeiffer') and of course our current POTUS ('That's My Bush!').

2] 'Xena, Warrior Princess'/'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys'
Xena had several encounters with Julius Caesar in her time-hopping life; Herc had the one episode in which he appeared. The Roman noble was portrayed by Karl Urban as a young man, so we can use the claim of aging to splain away the recasting.

3] 'You Are There'
My take on this show's place in Toobworld is that CBS had access to time travel technology back in the 1950s that allowed them to view the past and interview its inhabitants. But it worked much like a TARDIS and it opened portals into other TV dimensions instead of along the direct timeline of Toobworld's own chronology.

So when they interviewed Julius Caesar (Milton Seltzer), Brutus (Paul Newman), and Cassius (Robert Culp), these historical figures were from some alternate Toobworld, one where tele-cognizance was second nature.

But then, Toobworld, like Life itself, is always in a state of flux and we could change our opinions on any or all of this someday in the future.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"Remember, there are no stupid questions...
Except for Billy's questions."
Mrs. Narcolepsi
'Robot Chicken'

AN EMBARRASSMENT OF "THE RICHES"

Just so's you know, we're three episodes in to 'The Riches' and I'm really enjoying it for everything it's not - a sitcom, a crime procedural, a medical drama, etc.

It's not comfort viewing, in which you pretty much know in advance where the show will lead you despite the twists those other shows might throw out during the course of their plotlines. As such, it might prove difficult for many to stick with this show - too many in the audience are, I believe, the "rotten cabbages" McGoohan warned about who want TV shows to just wash over them.

I think 'The Riches' will provide stimulating viewing to those who enjoy what Television can offer.

And as thanks for my commitment and support of 'The Riches', those bleepin' bastids tried to Zonk me!

In the latest episode, the kids were protesting their parents' decision to enroll them all in school. Since Cael Malloy claimed he knew all about history and thus shouldn't have to go, his father Wayne asked him, "Who was Sulla?"

His daughter Di Di answered "The guy from 'Star Wars'." She couldn't even get the pop culture reference right!

(Youngest son Sam had the correct answer: the first dictator of Rome.)

Okay, so even though Di Di got the answer wrong, we as the audience at home knew what she probably meant - she could have been referring to Captain Sulu of 'Star Trek'. However, within the reality of Toobworld, we don't have to accept that. She may have really meant 'Star Wars' - at least, the tele-version of the George Lucas film.

Based on references in other TV shows, like 'Taxi' and 'That 70s Show', we know that most of 'Star Wars' as seen in Toobworld matches the version from the Trueniverse. However, perhaps there are some niggling little details that are not the same. And a character named Sulla might be one of them. Jabba's good twin, Sulla the Hut, perhaps?

And it just occurred to me as I write this, that Di Di really was thinking of 'Star Wars' after all... and yet still got the reference wrong. She may have been thinking of Han Solo; for her, he was "Han Sulla".

As for the place 'Star Wars' holds in the TV Universe, thanks to that infamous 1977 holiday special and appearances by Crossover Hall of Famers C-3PO and R2-D2 in 'Sesame Street', 'The Muppet Show', and many a blipvert, the galaxy of 'Star Wars' has been absorbed into the TV Universe. Somehow George Lucas learned of this and re-told their story for the movies.

Whichever splainin works for you, at least we don't have to consider this a 'Star Trek' Zonk. Not that it would matter at this point, since 'Star Trek' is one of the most Zonked series in the history of Television!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

BRACKETSVILLE, FLA.: THE FINAL BATTLE!

It took me awhile to find the proper link that works to get the latest update on the Bracketsville, Florida, competition. The direct link supplied by the Florida Times-Union kept giving me a 404.

But you, dear Toobers, don't have to jump through those hoops. I have the right link for you!

The Finals have been announced. And as many expected and predicted while the competitors were whittled down (or nipped in the bud, as one finalist might say), it's going to be Barney Fife of 'The Andy Griffith Show' vs. Lucy Ricardo of 'I Love Lucy'.

Just as with the Chicago version - in which it was Jack Bauer of '24' vs Kara "Starbuck" Thrace of 'Battlestar Galactica', the final battle is one of gender. (Starbuck won.)

Here's what the Times-Union had to say about the Final Four poll that brought them both to the Big Dance:

"What may have been a bit stunning, though, is the power each displayed in the semifinals. Barney Fife nipped Archie Bunker in the bud by about 20 percentage points, and Lucy Ricardo sent Ralph Kramden to the moon with a margin of about 40 percentage points."

So who's it going to be for your ultimate choice? The nervous, jittery deputy from Mayberry who carries his only bullet in his shirt pocket and who has provided his portrayer with five Emmy awards? Or the scheming, star-struck housewife who gets drunk on Vitameatavegemin, stomps grapes, stuffs her blouse with chocolate, and sets her nose on fire, and who is already a member of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame?

Vote now! You have until Thursday at midnight, EST, and the results will be announced on Sunday.

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

BRACKETSVILLE, ILL.: THE FRAK LADY HAS SUNG!

Bracketsville, Illinois, a quirky suburb of Chicago, has now concluded its search for the best character currently on Television.

In the final showdown between Jack Bauer of '24' and Kara Thrace of 'Battlestar Galactica' (conducted by the Chicago Tribune's Redeye section), Starbuck finished with 3061 votes while Bauer brought in 777 votes.

Not even close!

So now it's back down to Bracketsville, Florida, for their contest to find the all-time greatest sitcom character.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

PERSPECTIVE: FLASHBACK BACKSTORY

I don't think I can convey how excited I am by the prospect of the 'Boston Legal' episode to be shown April 3rd. "Son Of The Defender" will incorporate scenes from the 1957 episode of 'Studio One' entitled "The Defender". That production served as a pilot for the series 'The Defenders' which starred EG Marshall and Robert Reed, although it was Ralph Bellamy and William Shatner in the original.

And now fifty years later, key scenes from that black and white presentation will serve as Denny Crane's flashbacks - with any mention of the characters' original names O'Bviously deleted to maintain the illusion that Shatner is Denny Crane, not Kenneth Preston.

This is not the first time the gimmick of using flashbacks from a past TV show has been used in another TV show. But it could be the first time where the original characters have been renamed to become other characters. (Kenneth Preston becomes Denny Crane; Lawrence Preston becomes the elder Crane.)

On 'Diagnosis Murder', Mike Connors returned to his archetypal gumshoe Joe Mannix to bring full closure to an old 'Mannix' case ("Little Girl Lost"). Also in the "Hard-Boiled Murder" episode were Pernell Roberts and Julie Adams from the original, playing the same roles they did years earlier.

'Murder, She Wrote' went the same route for an episode, but drew instead from a more off-beat production - an example of film noir called "Strange Bargain". In "The Days Dwindle Down", Jessica Fletcher got to interact with three of the actors from that movie reprising their original roles: Jeffrey Lynn, Martha Scott, and the legendary Harry Morgan.

(According to the IMDb.com, about one third of the footage from this episode came from the movie!)

This was yet another post about this upcoming episode of 'Boston Legal'. Between now and April 3rd, I wouldn't be surprised if I have at least two more "Inner Toob" entries about it.

Definitely there will be more once the episode airs!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"Y&R" MEETS "B&B"

Tomorrow (March 27), Emily of 'As The World Turns' will cross over to 'The Young & The Restless'. She'll be in Genoa City to confront Amber, herself a crossoveree from 'The Bold & The Beautiful', about Emily's sister Alison appearing in porn on the Internet.

It's still early in the year, but this may still be a candidate for a Toobit Award for Best Crossover of 2007. We'll see.

It definitely puts Amber in the running for eventual induction into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

ASNER AS....

I mentioned in my "Dateline Toobworld" piece yesterday that I was leaning toward Joe Danzig of 'The Bronx Zoo' as the character Ed Asner is playing as the unbillbed juror in that 1957 'Studio One' episode "The Defender".

And perhaps he was - over in the TV dimension where that episode can be found. (Sorry, but even though it arrived afterwards, the TV series of 'The Defenders' must occupy Earth Prime Time!)

I guess I was thinking in terms of 'The Defender' taking place in NYC. But I imagine the re-imagined editing for the scenes used in 'Boston Legal' - turning Kenneth Preston into Denny Crane, for instance, - might be situated in Boston now.

So with that in mind, I've taken up a suggestion from Dana, who runs boston-legal.org. Dana pointed out that Asner played a judge on 'The Practice', from which 'Boston Legal' sprang.

Actually he played two judges. He was the Honorable Marcus Winnaker for three episodes in 2004, and the Honorable Matlin Platt in 1997 or 1998.

My memory's vague on both characters, but I'd go with Marcus Winnaker, if only for the number of episodes and even more so because of the name. Matlin Platt? Bleeech. One of the worst I've ever heard!

So it could be that IF Ed Asner survives the editing process to be seen in the flashbacks from that 'Studio One' episode, then he was serving as a juror by the name of Marcus Winnaker!

It's much simpler that way. No sense trying to drag in some other TV character just to make a link and then jumping through hoops to splain the reasoning!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

BRACKETSVILLE, FLA., FINAL FOUR!

I look at this list of names - Cliff Huxtable, the Fonz, Frasier Crane, and Mork - and I can hear the late, great, and lamented Larry "Bud" Melman in my mind:

"So long, Suckers!"

Those four sitcom characters lost in the Elite Eight Round of the Florida Times-Union championship match-ups to find the all-time greatest sitcom character.

And now we're down to the Final Four:

1) Round 5 - Choose 1
1. Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show
1. Archie Bunker, All in the Family

2) Round 5 - Choose 1
2. Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners
1. Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy

The Final Match-up will be announced on Wednesday. So make your voice heard with your vote now!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

SHATNER PAST & PRESENT

Here's an interesting Toobworldian news item from contactmusic.com (and thanks to TVSquad for passing it along):

"Producers of 'Boston Legal' plan to use footage from a 1957 Studio One drama, "The Defenders," featuring William Shatner, for an April 3 episode. In the old-time episode Shatner's character Denny Crane comes face-to-face with a hostage taker, who has nursed a grudge against him stemming from a court case 50 years earlier."

Here's the ABC press release re: the episode:

Son of the Defender
A man with a decades-long grudge against Denny Crane and his late attorney father takes the firm hostage, forcing staff at Crane, Poole & Schmidt to re-try a murder case in which a young Denny ensured the defendant's acquittal. Scenes from a 50-year-old television pilot, "The Defender" featuring a young William Shatner are incorporated into the episode to show what transpired during the original case that led to the modern day hostage taking.

TUESDAY, APRIL 3(10:00-11:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network.

'Boston Legal' stars James Spader as Alan Shore, Julie Bowen as Denise Bauer, Mark Valley as Brad Chase, Rene Auberjonois as Paul Lewiston, Constance Zimmer as Claire Simms and Gary Anthony Williams as Clarence/Clarice Bell, with Candice Bergen as Shirley Schmidt and William Shatner as Denny Crane.

Guest starring are Meredith Eaton-Gilden as Bethany Horowitz, Stephen Lee as Aaron Sears, James Keane as Joe Gordon, Billy Mayo as Detective Sean Wilkins, Lawrence Pressman as Judge Floyd Hurwitz, Jackie Debatin as Jenna Aesop, Mike Hagerty as Wally Bird, Bonnie Bailey-Reed as Harriet Bird and Mark L. Taylor as Attorney Adam Jovanka.

"Son of the Defender" was written by Phoef Sutton & David E. Kelley and directed by Bill DElia.

Here's the IMDb.com plot summary for the two-part episode of 'Studio One':

"A young criminal attorney and his firm-owning father defend a 19 year-old on trial for a murder that he swears he did not commit. Personal conflicts arise with the attorney and his father while the prosecution puts on a dramatic and convincing argument of guilt."
(Summary written by "Flotis")

My guess is that Stephen Lee is playing the son of the murder victim, and if his character is the same age as he is, Aaron Sears was two years old at the time of the original trial.

The client in 1957 was Joseph Gordon and was played by Steve McQueen. We'll never know if McQueen would have agreed to play the role as he died more than twenty-five years ago. So they've cast James Keane in the role of a Joe Gordon. However, Keane is only three years older than Lee is, so unless he's made up to look like he's in his late sixties/early seventies, he could be playing the son of the acquitted murderer.

Sins of the father are visited upon the son.....

O'Bviously, none of the scenes from "The Defenders" will contain references to Shatner's character as "Kenneth Preston", who is the character he played in that pilot for the later series. (He would later play a recurring role on the actual series as ADA Earl Rhodes.)
When 'The Defenders' became a series, Robert Reed took on the role of Kenneth Preston. His father, played by Ralph Bellamy in the pilot, was played by EG Marshall in the series.

I'll have more on how this all affects Toobworld after the broadcast, but I can tell you now that this will more than likely garner at least one Toobit Award by the end of the year!

By the way, while watching the episode on April 3rd, pay close attention to the jury in that 1957 case - if they happen to show any scenes of them, that is. Uncredited amongst them would be Ed Asner as a 27 year old juror. (Right now I'm leaning towards him being Joe Danzig, who would one day become the principal of Benjamin Harrison High School, aka 'The Bronx Zoo'....)

I've just ordered the DVD of that 'Studio One' production and it should be arriving here at Toobworld Central with more than enough time for me to watch it before the 'Boston Legal' episode!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE BEER THAT MADE BUFFALO FAMOUS

On 'The Winner', there was a brand of beer back in Buffalo of 1994 called "Blitt Beer". It's kind of an in-joke as Ricky Blitt is the creator of the show.

It's nothing ground-breaking when it comes to trivia, just a little something that helps enrich the TV Universe....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby