GOIN' POSTAL

When I heard this story:

GOLETA, Calif. (AP) - A female ex-postal worker opened fire at a mail processing plant, killing six people before committing suicide with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound, authorities said early Tuesday. One other person was listed in critical condition.

It made me think of Ken Levine's description of a character from '24':

CHLOE -- CTU agent, computer whiz, and my favorite character on television even though I often want to slap her. Could not be more snotty, could not have worse people skills. She’s the template for every US postal employee.

If so, I'm glad she spells her last name wrong. My Dad worked for the Post Office for thirty years; it gave all five O'Brien kids a shot at a college education, and his union benefits have been a huge help for Mom in her later years. But he never went postal; he'd be the last person you'd expect to do so.

Then again, he worked as a letter carrier. It seems to me that every time you hear about this kind of story, it always involves people who work inside a post office - mail sorters and the like.

On the other hand, one of my brothers is a letter carrier and I could see him succumbing to that kind of rage....

Still, I don't think I'm far off in my idea that there must be something about working indoors at a post office which triggers such a rampage.

Didn't 'The X-Files' do a story similar to this once?

At any rate, my prayers go out to the victims and their families....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

HAT SQUAD: CORETTA SCOTT KING

On the eve of Black History Month, Coretta Scott King has passed away at the age of 78. The widow of Dr. Martin Luther King appeared in many documentaries about the civil rights movement as well as in others about the turbulent events of the 1960s.

According to the IMDb.com, she was portrayed three times in Toobworld:

Carmen Ejogo (Coretta Scott King)
. . . Boycott (2001) (TV)

Carol Rigg (Mrs. Coretta Scott King)
. . . "Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis" (2000) (mini) TV Series

Cicely Tyson (Coretta Scott King)
. . . "King" (1978) (mini) TV Series

Here's hoping she now has the Prize....

BCnU...
Tele-Toby

QUICKLINK: "GROUNDED FOR LIFE"

http://groundedforlife.fanfly.net/?L2503

Recently I wrote about 'Grounded For Life', the first season of which will be out on DVD next week, February 7th. If you click on that link above, you can see several scenes from the series, as well as learn more about the production.

Check it out!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

ALL THE CROSSOVERS FIT TO PRINT

The Sunday New York Times "Week In Review" had a little fun with the concept of crossover might-have-beens. A story about the UPN/WB merger into The CW was illustrated with a crude photo montage which showed Kristen Kreuk (Lana Lang on 'Smallville') in the arms of a 'Friday Night Smackdown' muscle-head.

Kryptonite as the new steroid?

BCnU!

Tele-Toby

CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK!

Numbers are cosmic; I'm probably mistaken, but there must be something about the universe that is based on numerics. Right? No matter; stick with me on this.

Numbers surround us, and there's no better place to see proof of this in the TV Universe than in the new new Toyota Rav 4 blipvert that's currently being broadcast.

And certain combinations of numbers have great power, as we've seen on 'Lost':

"4 8 15 16 23 42"

Throughout the series, we have seen either that entire combination or subset variants play small and seemingly insignificant roles in the lives of the main survivors on 'Lost'. It stands to reason that these numbers also played a role in the lives of the other survivors we see in the background; those characters who weren't part of the cool clique, as the late Mr. Arzt might have said.

I don't think the Numbers targeted them specifically. I think the Numbers are universal. They were out there; manifesting themselves wherever they could and it was up to the individual to notice them or not.

And so it was in this week's episode of 'Veronica Mars'. On the message slip you usually find in a fortune cookie, that entire combination was Veronica's lucky set of numbers as part of her fortune. (The actual fortune? "True Love Stories Never Have Endings".)

We'll just have to wait and see if Veronica Mars has an encounter with a polar bear in Neptune, California......

Being as universal as they are, the Numbers transcend dimensional barriers. They can manifest in that combination in other universes based on Mankind's creative output.

Which is what happened a second time this week as well. In the comic book universe, the cover of "Catwoman" #51 was a mugshot of Selina Kyle as Catwoman. And the slate she was holding in the picture for identification purposes had this ID number:

"4815162342"

For both to happen in the same week, something big might be ready to explode in the multiverse....

And doesn't it seem odd that this week's repeat of 'Lost' just happens to be "Numbers"?

Maybe Don and Charlie Eppes of 'Numb3rs' should look into this.....

But in the meantime, I'd take a look at the point spread for Sunday's Super Bowl if I wuz you......

'VERONICA MARS'
&
'LOST'
&
"CATWOMAN" #51

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"Most people's lives are governed by telephone numbers."
THE BOOK
'THE HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY'

CROSSING JORDAN

'BOSTON LEGAL'
&
'ALLY MCBEAL'

Those who enjoy TV crossovers already know that 'Boston Legal' is linked to 'Ally McBeal' by way of 'The Practice'. 'Ally' crossed over with that ABC courtroom drama which then spun off the character of Alan Shore to his own show, 'Boston Legal'.

But now we can cut out the middle man, thanks to my friend, Shirley Jordan.

Back in November when I was visiting Shirley and her family in L.A., she spent the first two days of that week working on 'Boston Legal'. And that episode finally aired this past week. She played the jury foreperson in a case involving an HMO (named WellBeing) which gave out "Too Much Information" online. And that led to the murder of one of their clients.

As is usually the case in such trials, she was not addressed by name, only as "Madame Foreperson". So she could have been just about any character Shirley may have played in the past - so long as that character wasn't living in another dimension (like her FBI receptionist on 'The West Wing' or her police officer on 'Lois & Clark'.)

But luckily enough, Shirley had a character already living in Beantown.

Nancy Sosha is a real estate agent, and in an episode of 'Ally McBeal', Ms. Sosha was showing a house in which Ally expressed interest.

As it is all over the country, residency puts your name into play for jury duty. So Ms. Sosha would have found herself in the jury pool and eventually as the foreperson of the WellBeing trial.

I was looking forward to one of my best friends being involved with the Crossover of the Week, but alas! Shirley will have to settle for runner-up status as Miss Congeniality because she got lost in the numbers......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"One lone juror.....
They should have said 'One lone dingbat'!"
Archie Bunker
'All In The Family'

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS

So if I count that wild and crazy theory about a link between 'Monk' and 'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy', (and I do, I do!), then I've posted two runners-up so far to the title of Crossover of the Week.

I still have one more to go and it features my personal favorite Miss Congeniality. And then I'll unveil the biggie.

Four crossovers in one week. I remember looking ahead about January and thinking I'd be lucky to find four crossovers to fill out the month, one each week, until the February Sweeps feast came along. I know the time will come later this year, probably during the summer, when I'll wish I had that crossover of Mice and Monk to use as the weekly showcase.

A couple of weeks ago, Brent McKee took a look at the January schedule and saw how the networks had front-loaded it with specials and short-run reality contests. And he quickly realized why - they were hoping to hook in viewers before the NBC Olympic juggernaut came along to quash everything in its path. And so that's why there was such a plethora of crossovers this week.

I'll have to go through the Catholic Online list of saints and find the appropriate one for the TV Crossover - maybe St. Claire, the patron saint of Television, knows who to sub-contract the job, - and then make my entreaty for help in the coming weeks. Because it would be nice to spread the wealth out evenly.....

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES: "BONES"

When Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth investigated the body parts of a woman found near L.A. International Airport, their probe was slowed down by the extensive cosmetic surgery the victim had done.

Further complicating matters was actress and director Penny Marshall appearing as herself in a cameo along with Jann Carl, the weekend anchor for 'Entertainment Tonight'.

Coming off the bonanza of shows linked to 'CSI:NY' through 'ET' as described in last week's Crossover of the Week, Jann Carl now forges the link that should exist between 'Bones' and the 'CSI' franchise. And to that cluster of shows mentioned last week, the 'ET' connection now includes:

'Diagnosis Murder' - "Miracle Cure" (the first episode)
and two episodes of 'Out Of Practice' - "Brothers Grim" & "Yours, Mine, Or His".

Now, as for Penny Marshall, she brings some interesting shows along as her baggage; in fact, I was surprised by the number of shows in which she played herself in a fictional setting.

First up is a little-remembered series called 'Good Heavens' in which Carl Reiner (once Penny's father-in-law) starred as Mr. Angel, a heavenly spirit who travelled about the country improving people's lives. It was a forerunner of 'Highway To Heaven' in its way.

Penny Marshall appeared in the episode "Take Me Out To The Ballgame", which I think was about a sporting goods salesman who got a chance to try out for the majors.

Then, on 'Bosom Buddies', she appeared on a "Cablevision" TV show which was produced by Kip and Henry to advertise their client's product.

On 'Taxi', she was rejected for an apartment by a co-op board so snooty that they didn't approve of the actress' lifestyle - how much more of a down-to-earth woman could she possibly be? But instead, "Louie Moves Uptown" when they accepted him just to spite Alex Reiger.

She also appeared in the "mockumentary" entitled "Jackie's Back!", which was a look at the life of a famed diva.

And finally, in an episode of 'I'm With Her', Penny Marshall was directing a movie starring young Dylan Cassidy, who was being tutored by Alex's teacher boyfriend Patrick. ("The Kid Stays In The Picture")

(This wasn't a great sitcom, but I liked the premise and I'm glad I can officially make it a part of the TV Universe via the League Of Themselves.)

Like I said, best of all is that via Jann Carl and 'ET', I can make the eventual link between 'Bones' and 'CSI', two shows which in my perfect Toobworld would have a crossover episode.

But like they say in the commercials for Walgreen's, alas, we don't live in Perfect......

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

"MR. MONK AND THE PAN-DIMENSIONAL BEINGS"

In the latest episode of 'Monk' ("Mr. Monk And The Captain's Marriage"), a homeless man was a witness to a murder. His only friend in the world was a small white mouse named Devo, to whom he would feed apple slices and read mystery novels.

He claimed that Devo was a genius; that he was able to do impressions, including that of a hamster.

Well, of course he was a genius! That little white mouse was, in fact, the protrusion into our dimension of a hyper-intellegent pan-dimensional being, descended from the same beings who were in fact responsible for the creation of the Earth.

All that time we thought we were doing experiments on mice, they were the ones who were experimenting on us. All of those times when they ran down the wrong corridor of a maze, or ate the wrong bit of cheese, or suddenly dropping dead from the injection of plague, those were just examples of their research into humans. (The stuff with the cheese etc was just a front!)

In fact, when Devo Mouse was tossed back and forth between Lt. Disher and Natalie and finally stuffed into the pocket of Adrian Monk, it was probably a major breakthrough in their research on us.

The mice created the Earth, per the instructions of the super-computer Deep Thought, in order to find the question to the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything... which is of course, "42". But five minutes before they were to get the answer, the Vogon Constructor Fleet came along and destroyed the Earth, blowed it up real good.

That happened back in 1981. So why are we still here and don't remember it? Because a lone Earthman, Arthur Dent, with his alien friend Ford Prefect, was thrust back in time to the dawn of the Neanderthals age. Traveling with them was a spaceship full of Golgafrinchan phone sanitizers who bolluxed the whole project by inserting themselves into the computer program. They became the true ancestors of Mankind, not the badly evolving Neanderthals.

And thus the course of History was changed. In this new timeline, the Earth was not destroyed by the Vogons and Mankind never knew how they had been totally destroyed, to be remembered only as being "Mostly Harmless".

But the pan-dimensional beings would not give up hope that they could salvage something from their project. So they continue to experiment on humans in various ways, including daredevil stunts to help their "owners" meet women over a Bud Light. A few brave souls have learned the truth about the mice, but were generally discounted as being crackpots, like the former Army officer who went to Blush Magazine with his expose on those intelligent white mice from outer space on an episode of 'Just Shoot Me'.

But whether or not their renewed research into finding the Question for the Ultimate Answer comes to fruition may soon be revealed. The power of that number "42" is begining to be felt throughout the world, especially when it is combined with a series of other numbers.

Specifically, "4 8 15 16 and 23".

You know what I'm talkin' about.... or are you 'Lost'?

BCnU!
Tele-Toby

THE FAMILY TREE: POOLE & ESPINSON

A THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY

linking

'THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCO COUNTY, JR.'

&

'BOSTON LEGAL'

Socrates Poole was a lawyer from San Francisco during the 1890s. He served as the liaison between bounty hunter Brisco County, Jr. and the San Francisco city leaders who hired him.

At some point after Brisco defeated John Bly, "Sock" may have accompanied the bounty hunter back to Boston, where Brisco had earned his law degree at Harvard. While there, he might have decided to stay, finding "Beantown" to be more than equal to the best offered by the City by the Bay, without the dangers of the frontier, which was never far from Frisco.

If so, Socrates Poole more than likely settled down into marriage and perhaps established his law practice there with one of the older, more prestigious firms. No matter how many children he might have sired, eventually the Poole family tree would have branched off with other surnames and eventually one line would be known by the name of Espinson.

Being employed in the service of the Law could have become a family tradition down through the generations for both the Poole and Espinson branches of the family. It would then all culminate with Poole, one of the founding partners of the Boston law firm of Crane, Poole, & Schmidt, and with Gerald Espinson, a lawyer who - by one of those usual TV coincidences, - happened to work at the very same firm... until fairly recently.

I'm not surprised Gerry Espinson didn't play up his family connection to the firm in order to improve his chances for the partner review; he probably didn't even know about it. I only know about my O'Brien roots back to my grandfather (and not much in that department). And sadly, if the three Manson girls - my first cousins, the daughters of my father's sister, - passed me on the street, I wouldn't even be aware of it.

Even though Gerry Espinson might have been unaware of his Poole heritage, there's no denying he was descended from Socrates Poole; you just had to look at the both of them!

It's a textbook case of telegenetics, in which a particular genome raises its double helix strand in perfect alignment to create a carbon copy of somebody else in the family tree. This is the Toobworld reason why Socrates Poole and Gerald Espinson looked exactly alike. (And in the Real World, it's because they were both portrayed by Christian Clemenson.)

None of this can be proven, of course, and as always, that's the beauty of Toobworld. But just in case, I'm marking this as "DNA"......

DO NOT ARGUE!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby