I found this at Yahoo! News. It's not going to do much for the suits at UPN, but it should bring a smile to a certain scribe in Hollywood.....
"In order to nab 117th place (1.4 million viewers), UPN had to produce a whole new series ('Sex, Love & Secrets'). In order to secure 118th place (912,000 viewers), Pax merely had to dust off an old 'Diagnosis Murder'. "
They probably could have exhumed an old episode of 'Misfits Of Science' from the grave and it would have done better!
Had the show killed off Denise Richards' character in some way, preferably gruesome, I know I would have tuned in. Yes, she's beautiful, and that's the only reason she's always going to find work. Well, that and her roller-coaster of a marriage to Charlie Sheen.
But her acting stinks on ice. 'Starship Troopers' may have been crap for other reasons, but at least it might have been salvaged by her character's brain getting sucked out by the aliens. At least the revival of 'Burke's Law' knew enough to cave in that pretty skull with a baton.
They should make her a regular on 'Joey'; help kill that show faster!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Thursday, October 6, 2005
"CORPSE BRIDE" ON BROADWAY!
This has nothing to do with TV, more to do with the movies and ultimately with Broadway musicals. I just wanted to make this claim somewhere so that it could be googled in the future to back up my boast that "you heard it here first!".
I went to see "Tim Burton's Corpse Bride" last night with my friend Mark. And near the end of the film, I leaned over and whispered "In ten years? On the stage of the Gershwin."
A few more songs to flesh it out and you've got a great love story. As for the George Pal-flavored puppetoons which could do things humans can't? Disney was able to surmount the challenges of taking a cartoon about animals and transforming it into Broadway magic; I would think this would be even easier.
The last time we see Emily might be tough to translate to the stage, but everything else would work - Scraps as a puppet; Bonejangles as a skeleton attached to a black body suit; even the occasional loss of Emily's body parts could be covered with stage tricks.
Like I said, you heard it here first.
Go see the movie, it's a wonderful, fast ride through a very dark imagination.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
ps- It could work as a TV series as well. There! That should be sufficient to keep me in my televisiology grant money!
I went to see "Tim Burton's Corpse Bride" last night with my friend Mark. And near the end of the film, I leaned over and whispered "In ten years? On the stage of the Gershwin."
A few more songs to flesh it out and you've got a great love story. As for the George Pal-flavored puppetoons which could do things humans can't? Disney was able to surmount the challenges of taking a cartoon about animals and transforming it into Broadway magic; I would think this would be even easier.
The last time we see Emily might be tough to translate to the stage, but everything else would work - Scraps as a puppet; Bonejangles as a skeleton attached to a black body suit; even the occasional loss of Emily's body parts could be covered with stage tricks.
Like I said, you heard it here first.
Go see the movie, it's a wonderful, fast ride through a very dark imagination.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
ps- It could work as a TV series as well. There! That should be sufficient to keep me in my televisiology grant money!
TOP 5 SCI-FI TV CLICHES
One of the basic building blocks for the TV Universe is the cliche. Repeated often enough, it becomes mythology, religion, science. But at the beginnings of every cliche lies a True Moment.
Pregnant woman trapped in elevator goes into labor.
Previously unknown identical twin is evil.
Cops have either a handicap, a gimmick, or a strange last name.
TVSquad.com has put together a list of the top five sci-fi TV show cliches:
http://www.tvsquad.com/2005/10/06/the-five-most-overused-sci-fi-plot-lines/
Check it out and see if you can come up with your own additions.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Pregnant woman trapped in elevator goes into labor.
Previously unknown identical twin is evil.
Cops have either a handicap, a gimmick, or a strange last name.
TVSquad.com has put together a list of the top five sci-fi TV show cliches:
http://www.tvsquad.com/2005/10/06/the-five-most-overused-sci-fi-plot-lines/
Check it out and see if you can come up with your own additions.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK!
To kick off the new season for Toobworld, 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit' launched a crossover with the mothership of the Dick Wolf franchise. Nothing revolutionary in this; after all, 'Law & Order' shows are all very well meshed. There have been so many crossovers, that the characters from the main show will be the core of the weekly inductions into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame next year.
[That's right, True Believ- er, True Viewers! For 2006, we'll be going weekly for the Hall of Fame!]
Here's the TV Guide recap for Part One ("Design"):
Originally aired: Tuesday September 27, 2005 on NBC
"After Benson talks a pregnant woman off a ledge, it's discovered that she's the daughter of a scam artist and a controversial scientist."
On the following night, the story continued on 'Law & Order':
Originally aired: Wednesday September 28, 2005 on NBC
" 'SVU' detectives Olivia Benson and Fin Tutuola help in a murder investigation that involves a scam artist and her daughter."
TV.com described the combo this way:
'LAW & ORDER: SVU' - "DESIGN"
Benson saves April Troost from committing suicide, but feels responsible when Troost dies during the trial of the man she accuses of raping her and getting her pregnant. It isn't long before detectives learn that Barclay Pallister wasn't the only man April picked up in a bar who has no recollection of sleeping with her, and the squad realises that Troost was no victim. Their search takes them from prospective parents looking to adopt her child to the men she drugged and accosted to the sperm center she used to work at, which ends up at the center of the case.
'LAW & ORDER' - "FLAW"
When the body of Patrick Sullivan is found with one of Olivia Benson's business cards in his pocket, Green and Fontana call on SVU to help them with their case. Although not initially clear, the detectives soon realise that Patrick Sullivan is connected to Lorraine Dillon and April Troost, career criminals that Benson had previously been unable to catch. Lorraine confesses to the crime and claims she did it to protect her daughter, but when April ends up on the stand she tells a different story, and McCoy and Benson disagree on which of the two is telling the truth.
These crossovers might be considered safe and maybe even a bit of the ol' "same old, same old". (It's not like pulling off a crossover between 'Medium' and 'My Name Is Earl'.... although I think it could be done!)
But the power in these crossovers lie in the guest casts. Last season's May Sweeps crossover featured Alfred Molina and as his mother, Angela Lansbury, who was nominated for her performance.
This year, in the first hour alone, the cast featured Ronny Cox, Peter Reigert, Julian Sands, and Lynda Carter and Estella Warren as a mother/daughter duo of con artistes.
Date/rape, baby-snatching, genetic experimentation, and a con worthy of the movie "Heartbreakers" - there was more than enough there to spread out over the two shows! It was quite a burst out of the starting gate for the season's crossovers, and we'll N-B-see the next one on the Peacock Network as well.
So we're off and running!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
[That's right, True Believ- er, True Viewers! For 2006, we'll be going weekly for the Hall of Fame!]
Here's the TV Guide recap for Part One ("Design"):
Originally aired: Tuesday September 27, 2005 on NBC
"After Benson talks a pregnant woman off a ledge, it's discovered that she's the daughter of a scam artist and a controversial scientist."
On the following night, the story continued on 'Law & Order':
Originally aired: Wednesday September 28, 2005 on NBC
" 'SVU' detectives Olivia Benson and Fin Tutuola help in a murder investigation that involves a scam artist and her daughter."
TV.com described the combo this way:
'LAW & ORDER: SVU' - "DESIGN"
Benson saves April Troost from committing suicide, but feels responsible when Troost dies during the trial of the man she accuses of raping her and getting her pregnant. It isn't long before detectives learn that Barclay Pallister wasn't the only man April picked up in a bar who has no recollection of sleeping with her, and the squad realises that Troost was no victim. Their search takes them from prospective parents looking to adopt her child to the men she drugged and accosted to the sperm center she used to work at, which ends up at the center of the case.
'LAW & ORDER' - "FLAW"
When the body of Patrick Sullivan is found with one of Olivia Benson's business cards in his pocket, Green and Fontana call on SVU to help them with their case. Although not initially clear, the detectives soon realise that Patrick Sullivan is connected to Lorraine Dillon and April Troost, career criminals that Benson had previously been unable to catch. Lorraine confesses to the crime and claims she did it to protect her daughter, but when April ends up on the stand she tells a different story, and McCoy and Benson disagree on which of the two is telling the truth.
These crossovers might be considered safe and maybe even a bit of the ol' "same old, same old". (It's not like pulling off a crossover between 'Medium' and 'My Name Is Earl'.... although I think it could be done!)
But the power in these crossovers lie in the guest casts. Last season's May Sweeps crossover featured Alfred Molina and as his mother, Angela Lansbury, who was nominated for her performance.
This year, in the first hour alone, the cast featured Ronny Cox, Peter Reigert, Julian Sands, and Lynda Carter and Estella Warren as a mother/daughter duo of con artistes.
Date/rape, baby-snatching, genetic experimentation, and a con worthy of the movie "Heartbreakers" - there was more than enough there to spread out over the two shows! It was quite a burst out of the starting gate for the season's crossovers, and we'll N-B-see the next one on the Peacock Network as well.
So we're off and running!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
TIP O' THE HAT SQUAD: NIPSEY RUSSELL
Actor Nipsey Russell, known as "the poet laureate of television," passed away at Lenox Hill Hospital. His longtime manager, Joseph Rapp, confirmed that the cause was cancer. He was in his early 80s.
Rapp said Russell was born in 1923, although some reports had him born in 1924. The manager said his age was never clear because Russell did not retain a birth certificate.
Russell achieved his first major role as Officer Anderson in 'Car 54, Where Are You?' In a way, this was a major break-through in my opinion. Back then, if blacks weren't appearing in shows like 'Amos And Andy' which basically kept them segregated from white characters, then they were relegated to servant roles like Eddie "Rochester" Anderson working for Jack Benny. Ethel Waters and Louise Beavers may have played the lead in 'Beulah', but it still was the role of a maid.
And forget about seeing citizens of color in Mayberry.
Officer Anderson worked his beat in the Bronx and was seen as just another member of the squad at the 53rd Precinct; there was no spotlight as if to shout "Hey! Look how progressive we are!" In that way, 'Car 54, Where Are You?' was similar to 'You'll Never Get Rich' (the Bilko show with Phil Silvers).
Nipsey Russell appeared on a string of game shows and variety shows, such as the 'Dean Martin Roasts', 'Laugh-In', and 'The Jackie Gleason Show'. He delighted audiences with short poems, earning him the nickname "the poet laureate of television" from Ed McMahon of 'The Tonight Show', one of many talk shows on which he would appear.
THEATRICAL MOVIE LINK TO TOOBWORLD
Car 54, Where Are You? (1994) .... Captain Dave Anderson
Although this was the same character he played in the TV series (promoted to Captain), the movie can't be considered a continuation of the main Toobworld. That's because the two main characters - Officers Toody and Muldoon - were played by different actors. It's a shame since we also were treated to seeing Al Lewis as Leo Schnauser again.
TV SERIES
"Juvenile Jury" (1983) TV Series .... Host
"The Dean Martin Comedy World" (1974) TV Series .... Host
"Barefoot in the Park" (1970) TV Series .... Honey Robinson
"ABC's Nightlife" (1964) TV Series .... Regular (1965)
"Car 54, Where Are You?" (1961) TV Series .... Officer Anderson (1961-1962)
"Jackpot" (1985) TV Series .... Host (1984 CBS Pilot Only)
"Your Number's Up" (1985) TV Series .... Host
"Match Game PM" (1975) TV Series .... Guest panelilst
"Masquerade Party" (1974) TV Series .... Himself/panelist
"Match Game 73" (1973) TV Series .... Guest panelilst
"To Tell the Truth" (1969) TV Series .... Himself/panelist (1971-1978)
"What's My Line?" (1968) TV Series (uncredited) .... Himself/guest panelilst
"The Dean Martin Show" (1965) TV Series .... Himself (regular performer, 1972-1973)
"Missing Links" playing "Himself" 11 September 1964
TV MOVIES
Fame (1978) (TV) .... Vinny
[This was the Arthur Miller play, not connected to the movie and series about the performing arts school.]
TV SPECIALS
The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Lucille Ball (1975) (TV) .... Himself
TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"100 Centre Street" playing "Wallace Roy" in episode: "Joe Must Go" (episode # 1.9) 12 March 2001
"Spin City" playing "Himself" in episode: "James and the Giant Speech" (episode # 4.2) 28 September 1999
"Viva Variety" playing "Himself" 9 December 1997
"227" playing "Edmund, Lester's Uncle" in episode: "Men's Club" (episode # 3.1) 27 September 1987
"The Love Boat" playing "Dapper Dan Manhoney" in episode: "Friends and Lovers/Sergeant Bull/Miss Mother" (episode # 4.1) 25 October 1980
"Police Woman" playing "Witt" in episode: "Guns" (episode # 4.2) 1 November 1977
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Rapp said Russell was born in 1923, although some reports had him born in 1924. The manager said his age was never clear because Russell did not retain a birth certificate.
Russell achieved his first major role as Officer Anderson in 'Car 54, Where Are You?' In a way, this was a major break-through in my opinion. Back then, if blacks weren't appearing in shows like 'Amos And Andy' which basically kept them segregated from white characters, then they were relegated to servant roles like Eddie "Rochester" Anderson working for Jack Benny. Ethel Waters and Louise Beavers may have played the lead in 'Beulah', but it still was the role of a maid.
And forget about seeing citizens of color in Mayberry.
Officer Anderson worked his beat in the Bronx and was seen as just another member of the squad at the 53rd Precinct; there was no spotlight as if to shout "Hey! Look how progressive we are!" In that way, 'Car 54, Where Are You?' was similar to 'You'll Never Get Rich' (the Bilko show with Phil Silvers).
Nipsey Russell appeared on a string of game shows and variety shows, such as the 'Dean Martin Roasts', 'Laugh-In', and 'The Jackie Gleason Show'. He delighted audiences with short poems, earning him the nickname "the poet laureate of television" from Ed McMahon of 'The Tonight Show', one of many talk shows on which he would appear.
THEATRICAL MOVIE LINK TO TOOBWORLD
Car 54, Where Are You? (1994) .... Captain Dave Anderson
Although this was the same character he played in the TV series (promoted to Captain), the movie can't be considered a continuation of the main Toobworld. That's because the two main characters - Officers Toody and Muldoon - were played by different actors. It's a shame since we also were treated to seeing Al Lewis as Leo Schnauser again.
TV SERIES
"Juvenile Jury" (1983) TV Series .... Host
"The Dean Martin Comedy World" (1974) TV Series .... Host
"Barefoot in the Park" (1970) TV Series .... Honey Robinson
"ABC's Nightlife" (1964) TV Series .... Regular (1965)
"Car 54, Where Are You?" (1961) TV Series .... Officer Anderson (1961-1962)
"Jackpot" (1985) TV Series .... Host (1984 CBS Pilot Only)
"Your Number's Up" (1985) TV Series .... Host
"Match Game PM" (1975) TV Series .... Guest panelilst
"Masquerade Party" (1974) TV Series .... Himself/panelist
"Match Game 73" (1973) TV Series .... Guest panelilst
"To Tell the Truth" (1969) TV Series .... Himself/panelist (1971-1978)
"What's My Line?" (1968) TV Series (uncredited) .... Himself/guest panelilst
"The Dean Martin Show" (1965) TV Series .... Himself (regular performer, 1972-1973)
"Missing Links" playing "Himself" 11 September 1964
TV MOVIES
Fame (1978) (TV) .... Vinny
[This was the Arthur Miller play, not connected to the movie and series about the performing arts school.]
TV SPECIALS
The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Lucille Ball (1975) (TV) .... Himself
TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"100 Centre Street" playing "Wallace Roy" in episode: "Joe Must Go" (episode # 1.9) 12 March 2001
"Spin City" playing "Himself" in episode: "James and the Giant Speech" (episode # 4.2) 28 September 1999
"Viva Variety" playing "Himself" 9 December 1997
"227" playing "Edmund, Lester's Uncle" in episode: "Men's Club" (episode # 3.1) 27 September 1987
"The Love Boat" playing "Dapper Dan Manhoney" in episode: "Friends and Lovers/Sergeant Bull/Miss Mother" (episode # 4.1) 25 October 1980
"Police Woman" playing "Witt" in episode: "Guns" (episode # 4.2) 1 November 1977
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
TIP O' THE HAT SQUAD: RONNIE BARKER
British comedian Ronnie Barker has died at his London home after a long illness.
The TV legend, who, with the diminutive Ronnie Corbett, starred in the TV hit 'The Two Ronnies', was 76. His agent, Rosalind Chatto, said Barker died on Monday afternoon after a long period of heart trouble. His wife, Joy Tubb, was with him.
Barker was one of the most versatile and successful comic actors of his generation. 'The Two Ronnies' brought Barker and Corbett worldwide fame. Barker also made a name for himself as the smart-alec prisoner Fletcher in the prison comedy series 'Porridge', and as the lugubrious, stuttering shopkeeper Arkwright in 'Open All Hours'.
In 1987, at the peak of his career, he announced his retirement at the age of 57. In the announcement Barker implied he had achieved what he wanted to and that he did not have the stomach to continue. He then concentrated on his beloved antiques shop in the Cotswolds, vowing never to return to the spotlight. But he made one or two exceptions, including this year when he reunited with Corbett to present a special six-part series looking back at their favourite moments from 'The Two Ronnies'.
Ronald William George Barker was born on September 25, 1929, in Bedford. He was educated at Oxford High School and began his acting career with the Aylesbury Repertory Company in 1948. By 1955, he was appearing in roles in West End productions, including "Mourning Becomes Electra" and "A Midsummer Night's Dream". He also appeared in the highly successful radio comedy series "The Navy Lark".
Barker and Corbett first worked together as writers for 'The Frost Report' in 1966. They teamed up in 1971, and 'The Two Ronnies' began a 16-year BBC run that yielded 98 shows. In the process they came to represent a distinctly old-fashioned style of British humour, which at its peak was watched by 17million viewers an episode.
Barker once said, however, that 'Porridge' was the best thing he had done. "I knew with 'Porridge' from the first episode. It was in front of an audience, which is a wonderful sounding-board as to how well it's going. My wife was in the audience for that and she said afterwards 'This is going to be a big success', and she was right."
But although he agreed that Fletcher was his most successful character, his favourite one was the slightly lascivious Arkwright.
His successes earned him many accolades including three Bafta awards and an OBE in 1978. He wrote several books, including "Book Of Bathing Beauties" (1974) and his autobiography "Dancing In The Moonlight" (1993).
Barker married Ms Tubb in 1957. He is also survived by two sons and a daughter.
At the Guardian Unlimited site, they've reprinted one of Mr. Barker's monologues which is a perfect example of his skill in wordplay:
Pismronunciation
"Good evening. I am the president of the Loyal Society for the Relief of Suffers from Pismronunciation, for the relief of people who can't say their worms correctly, or who use the wrong worms entirely, so that other people cannot underhand a bird they are spraying. It's just that you open your mouse, and the worms come turbling out in wuck a say that you dick not what you're thugging to be, and it's very distressing.
"I'm always looing it, and it makes one feel umbumftorcacle, especially when one is going about one's diddly tasks. Slopping at the Sloopermarket, for instance. Only last wonk, I approached the chuckout point, and I shooed the ghoul behind the crash desk the contents of my trilly, and she said 'All right, granddad, shout 'em out.' Well, of course, that's fine for the ordinary man in the stoat who has no dribble with his wolds. For someone like myself, it's worse than a kick in the jackstrop.
"Sometimes, you get stuck on one letter, such as wubbleyou. And I said, 'Well, I've got a tin of woup, a woucumber, two packets of wheese and a walliflower'. She tried to make fun of me and said, 'That will be woo pounds, wifty-wee pence.' So I just said 'Wobblers!' and walked out.
"So you see how dickyfelt it is. But help is at hand. A new society has been formed by our mumblers to help each other in times of excream ices. It is balled Pismronouncers Unanimous, and anyone can ball them up on the smellyphone any time of the day or note, twenty-four flowers a spray, seven stays a creek, and they will come 'round and get drunk with you.
"For foreigners, there will be inperpetwitters, who will all speak many sandwiches, such as Swedish, Turkish, Burkish, Jewish, Gibberish and Rubbish. Membranes will be able to attend tight stool, for heaving classes, to learn how to grope with the many complinkities of the daily loaf.
"Which brings me to the drain reason for squeaking to you tonight. The society's first function as a body was a grand garden freight, and we hope for many more bodily functions in the future. The garden plate was held in the grounds of Blennham Paleyass, Woodstick, and the guest of horror was the great American pip singer, Manny Barrellow. The fete was opened by the bleeder of the opposition, Mister Dale Pinnock ... Pillock, who gave us a few well-frozen worms in praise of the society's jerk. He said that 'In the creeks and stunts that lie ahead, we must do out nut roast to ensure that it sucks weeds.'
"And everyone visited the various stores and abrusements, the rudeabouts, thing boats and the dodgers, and of course, all the old favorites such as Srty your Length, guessing the weight of the cook and tinning the pale on the wonky. The occasion was great fun, and I think it can safely be said that all the men present and thoroughly good women were had all the time.
"So, please join out society. Write to me, Doctor Small Pith, The Spanner, Poke Moses, and I will send you some brieflets to browse through and a brass badge to wear in your loophole."
The BBC Online presented a selection of the star's finest lines in today's edition, from classic shows like 'The Two Ronnies', 'Open All Hours' and 'Porridge'.
The Two Ronnies:
"On a packed show tonight, we'll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet "
Porridge:
"What have I learned, Mr Mackay? Three things. One - bide your time. Two - keep your nose clean. And three - don't let the bastards grind you down."
The Two Ronnies:
"The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies."
Porridge:
Doctor: I want you to fill one of those containers for me.
Fletcher (other side of the room): What, from 'ere?
Open All Hours:
"Don't just crit there siticising!"
The Two Ronnies:
"The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on."
The Frost Report:
"I look up to him because he is upper class, but I look down on him because he is lower class."
The Two Ronnies:
"The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."
Porridge:
"(Playing Monopoly) Would you Adam and Eve it? Go to jail! "
The following segment is from a sketch that is considered to be the best from 'The Two Ronnies':
Ronnie Corbett (shop assistant): There you are, four candles.
Ronnie Barker: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
And this was their distinctive sign-off for each episode:
The Two Ronnies:
Ronnie Corbett: So it's good night from me...
Ronnie Barker: ...and it's good night from him. Good night!
The BBC Online asked readers to submit their favorite Ronnie Barker lines and comedy bits and there has been quite a nice compilation so far:
Best one liner has to be the sequence in Porridge with Lenny where Fletch starts: Would you like the usual, sir?
"I think I'll have a drink first."
"Large one?"
"Mind your own business."
Martin Taylor, London, UK
Open All Hours: What he comes in for is his business. What he goes out with is my business.
Brian cheverton, Frimley Green, England
How could you miss off "G-g-g-granville, f-f-f-fetch yer cloth".
Bob Sykes, Burnley, UK
"There's only one thing worse than a drunken Scotsman.. and thats a sober one"
"My aunt did some missionary work Mr Mackay."
"Oh yes Fletcher where was that?"
"Glasgow I think."
Tim Handley, London UK
Serving dinner as a butler to two obnoxious upper-class individuals, who are oblivious to his contempt: "Your nuts, M'Lord' 'Your crackers, M'Lady."
Chris Gledhill, Beverley, UK
My favourite work of his was Porridge, and I have been sat here trying to think which one of his one liners is my favourite from that show but I can't. Each episode is just half an hour of solid laughter as far as I'm concerned, and I can pay no higher tribute to a comic actor. He will certainly be missed, RIP Ronnie. God bless and thank you for the laughs.
Stephen Bridgeman, Bromley, England
Open All Hours:
Nurse Gladys: Business is looking up.
Arkwright: Yes, but p-pleasure is looking down (gazing at her cleavage)
Martin, London
"...and we will be speaking to the disillusioned vet who, in James Herriott style, is writing his memoirs, under the working title of 'All Creatures Grunt and Smell'"
Alan, London Uk
The Two Ronnies -
Jehosephat & Jones
"Little Mary-Ellen by the old barn door,
I know just what she's a-waitin' for.
Up in the loft where the lamp light flickers.
I lost my heart and she lost her parasol!"
KJ, Fife, Scotland
Four Candles sketch is my favourite.
William Kelly, Bathgate UK
My daughter and I sat at work remembering the brilliant sketches, especially in Open All Hours. He will be sadly missed. Our thoughts are with his family.
Lesley & Natalie, Oxford
Lesley Stowell, Oxford, England
Porridge.
Barker "That is a plant".
Mackay "No it's not, it's a tin of pineapples".
Allan, Edinburgh
My childhood revolves around memories of the Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise and my grandad making me laugh. It's a shame that so many of my comedy heroes are no longer here.
Mark Minghella, Prescot, UK
The Mastermind Sketch what else can you say but absolutely brilliant
Steve O'Mara, Yate South Glos
I had to add in my own two-bits to the site:
I don't see it mentioned here, but I remember a "Two Ronnies" "news" item about a woman who had been fitted with a faulty IUD and was now "expecting a baby in the spring."
I still find myself using "And it's goodnight from him" on customers, even if I know only a handful may understand the source.
What a team they were and they helped goose the image of TV comedy over here in America by the late 1970s.
Toby O'Brien, NYC, USA
Here's a look at Ronnie Barker's contributions to the roster of Toobworld:
TV MOVIES
Beyond the Box: Norman Stanley Fletcher (2003) (TV) .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
My House in Umbria (2003) (TV) .... The General
The Gathering Storm (2002) (TV) .... David Inches
Porridge (1979) .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
When We Are Married (1975) (TV)
The Picnic (1975) (TV) .... The General
Franklyn and Johnnie (1974) (TV) .... Johnnie Wetherby
Idle at Work (1972) (TV) .... George Idle
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1971) (TV) .... Bottom
The Keys of the Cafe (1965) (TV)
TV SERIES
"Clarence" (1988) TV Series .... Clarence Sale
"The Magnificent Evans" (1984) TV Series .... Plantagenet Evans
"Going Straight" (1978) TV Series .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
"Open All Hours" (1973) TV Series .... Arkwright (1973-1985)
"Porridge" (1973) TV Series .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
"Seven of One" (1973) TV Series .... Various
"His Lordship Entertains" (1972) TV Series .... Lord Rustless
"The Two Ronnies" (1971) TV Series .... Himself/Various Characters
"6 Dates with Barker" (1971) TV Series .... Fred
"Hark at Barker" (1969) TV Series .... Lord Rustless
"The Ronnie Barker Playhouse" (1968) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Frost on Sunday" (1968) TV Series .... Various roles
"Before the Fringe" (1967) TV Series
"Foreign Affairs" (1966) TV Series .... Grischa Petrovich
"The Frost Report" (1966) TV Series .... Various roles
"A Tale of Two Cities" (1965) TV Series .... Jerry Cruncher
"Bold as Brass" (1964) TV Series .... Mr. Oakroyd
"How to Be an Alien" (1964) TV Series (voice)
"More Faces of Jim" (1963) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Six More Faces of Jim" (1962) TV Series .... Various Characters
"The Seven Faces of Jim" (1961) TV Series .... Various Characters
"It's a Square World" (1960) TV Series
TV SPECIALS
The Two Ronnies at the Movies (1999) (TV)
The Comedy Trail: A Shaggy Dog Story (1999) (TV) .... Himself
Two Ronnies Night (1999) (TV) .... Himself
The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything (1999) (TV) .... Renaissance Man
Christmas Night with the Two Ronnies (1987) (TV) .... Various roles
"The Two Ronnies in Australia" (1987) TV Series .... Various roles Ronnie Corbett in Bed (1971) (TV) .... Various Characters
The Ronnie Barker Yearbook (1971) (TV) .... Various Characters
The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971) .... Guest Appearance (segment "Sloth")
"A Christmas Night with the Stars" (1958) TV Series .... Himself - Host (1971)
'Wiltons' - The Handsomest Hall in Town (1970) (TV) .... Music Hall Performer
TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"Comedy Connections" playing "Himself" (archive footage) in episode: "The Two Ronnies" (episode # 3.8) 11 April 2005
"Britain's Best Sitcom" playing "Himself" in episode: "Porridge" 21 February 2004
"The Avengers" playing "Cheshire" in episode: "The Hidden Tiger" (episode # 5.8) 4 March 1967
"The Saint" playing "Alphonse" in episode: "The Better Mousetrap" (episode # 5.9) 25 November 1966
"Sykes and A..." in episode: "Sykes and a Log Cabin" (episode # 7.6) 31 March 1964
"Benny Hill" playing "Chef" in episode: "A Pair of Socks" (episode # 1.2) 2 March 1962
And it's good night from him.
BCnU......
Tele-Toby
The TV legend, who, with the diminutive Ronnie Corbett, starred in the TV hit 'The Two Ronnies', was 76. His agent, Rosalind Chatto, said Barker died on Monday afternoon after a long period of heart trouble. His wife, Joy Tubb, was with him.
Barker was one of the most versatile and successful comic actors of his generation. 'The Two Ronnies' brought Barker and Corbett worldwide fame. Barker also made a name for himself as the smart-alec prisoner Fletcher in the prison comedy series 'Porridge', and as the lugubrious, stuttering shopkeeper Arkwright in 'Open All Hours'.
In 1987, at the peak of his career, he announced his retirement at the age of 57. In the announcement Barker implied he had achieved what he wanted to and that he did not have the stomach to continue. He then concentrated on his beloved antiques shop in the Cotswolds, vowing never to return to the spotlight. But he made one or two exceptions, including this year when he reunited with Corbett to present a special six-part series looking back at their favourite moments from 'The Two Ronnies'.
Ronald William George Barker was born on September 25, 1929, in Bedford. He was educated at Oxford High School and began his acting career with the Aylesbury Repertory Company in 1948. By 1955, he was appearing in roles in West End productions, including "Mourning Becomes Electra" and "A Midsummer Night's Dream". He also appeared in the highly successful radio comedy series "The Navy Lark".
Barker and Corbett first worked together as writers for 'The Frost Report' in 1966. They teamed up in 1971, and 'The Two Ronnies' began a 16-year BBC run that yielded 98 shows. In the process they came to represent a distinctly old-fashioned style of British humour, which at its peak was watched by 17million viewers an episode.
Barker once said, however, that 'Porridge' was the best thing he had done. "I knew with 'Porridge' from the first episode. It was in front of an audience, which is a wonderful sounding-board as to how well it's going. My wife was in the audience for that and she said afterwards 'This is going to be a big success', and she was right."
But although he agreed that Fletcher was his most successful character, his favourite one was the slightly lascivious Arkwright.
His successes earned him many accolades including three Bafta awards and an OBE in 1978. He wrote several books, including "Book Of Bathing Beauties" (1974) and his autobiography "Dancing In The Moonlight" (1993).
Barker married Ms Tubb in 1957. He is also survived by two sons and a daughter.
At the Guardian Unlimited site, they've reprinted one of Mr. Barker's monologues which is a perfect example of his skill in wordplay:
Pismronunciation
"Good evening. I am the president of the Loyal Society for the Relief of Suffers from Pismronunciation, for the relief of people who can't say their worms correctly, or who use the wrong worms entirely, so that other people cannot underhand a bird they are spraying. It's just that you open your mouse, and the worms come turbling out in wuck a say that you dick not what you're thugging to be, and it's very distressing.
"I'm always looing it, and it makes one feel umbumftorcacle, especially when one is going about one's diddly tasks. Slopping at the Sloopermarket, for instance. Only last wonk, I approached the chuckout point, and I shooed the ghoul behind the crash desk the contents of my trilly, and she said 'All right, granddad, shout 'em out.' Well, of course, that's fine for the ordinary man in the stoat who has no dribble with his wolds. For someone like myself, it's worse than a kick in the jackstrop.
"Sometimes, you get stuck on one letter, such as wubbleyou. And I said, 'Well, I've got a tin of woup, a woucumber, two packets of wheese and a walliflower'. She tried to make fun of me and said, 'That will be woo pounds, wifty-wee pence.' So I just said 'Wobblers!' and walked out.
"So you see how dickyfelt it is. But help is at hand. A new society has been formed by our mumblers to help each other in times of excream ices. It is balled Pismronouncers Unanimous, and anyone can ball them up on the smellyphone any time of the day or note, twenty-four flowers a spray, seven stays a creek, and they will come 'round and get drunk with you.
"For foreigners, there will be inperpetwitters, who will all speak many sandwiches, such as Swedish, Turkish, Burkish, Jewish, Gibberish and Rubbish. Membranes will be able to attend tight stool, for heaving classes, to learn how to grope with the many complinkities of the daily loaf.
"Which brings me to the drain reason for squeaking to you tonight. The society's first function as a body was a grand garden freight, and we hope for many more bodily functions in the future. The garden plate was held in the grounds of Blennham Paleyass, Woodstick, and the guest of horror was the great American pip singer, Manny Barrellow. The fete was opened by the bleeder of the opposition, Mister Dale Pinnock ... Pillock, who gave us a few well-frozen worms in praise of the society's jerk. He said that 'In the creeks and stunts that lie ahead, we must do out nut roast to ensure that it sucks weeds.'
"And everyone visited the various stores and abrusements, the rudeabouts, thing boats and the dodgers, and of course, all the old favorites such as Srty your Length, guessing the weight of the cook and tinning the pale on the wonky. The occasion was great fun, and I think it can safely be said that all the men present and thoroughly good women were had all the time.
"So, please join out society. Write to me, Doctor Small Pith, The Spanner, Poke Moses, and I will send you some brieflets to browse through and a brass badge to wear in your loophole."
The BBC Online presented a selection of the star's finest lines in today's edition, from classic shows like 'The Two Ronnies', 'Open All Hours' and 'Porridge'.
The Two Ronnies:
"On a packed show tonight, we'll be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who can no longer make ends meet "
Porridge:
"What have I learned, Mr Mackay? Three things. One - bide your time. Two - keep your nose clean. And three - don't let the bastards grind you down."
The Two Ronnies:
"The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies."
Porridge:
Doctor: I want you to fill one of those containers for me.
Fletcher (other side of the room): What, from 'ere?
Open All Hours:
"Don't just crit there siticising!"
The Two Ronnies:
"The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on."
The Frost Report:
"I look up to him because he is upper class, but I look down on him because he is lower class."
The Two Ronnies:
"The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."
Porridge:
"(Playing Monopoly) Would you Adam and Eve it? Go to jail! "
The following segment is from a sketch that is considered to be the best from 'The Two Ronnies':
Ronnie Corbett (shop assistant): There you are, four candles.
Ronnie Barker: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks!
And this was their distinctive sign-off for each episode:
The Two Ronnies:
Ronnie Corbett: So it's good night from me...
Ronnie Barker: ...and it's good night from him. Good night!
The BBC Online asked readers to submit their favorite Ronnie Barker lines and comedy bits and there has been quite a nice compilation so far:
Best one liner has to be the sequence in Porridge with Lenny where Fletch starts: Would you like the usual, sir?
"I think I'll have a drink first."
"Large one?"
"Mind your own business."
Martin Taylor, London, UK
Open All Hours: What he comes in for is his business. What he goes out with is my business.
Brian cheverton, Frimley Green, England
How could you miss off "G-g-g-granville, f-f-f-fetch yer cloth".
Bob Sykes, Burnley, UK
"There's only one thing worse than a drunken Scotsman.. and thats a sober one"
"My aunt did some missionary work Mr Mackay."
"Oh yes Fletcher where was that?"
"Glasgow I think."
Tim Handley, London UK
Serving dinner as a butler to two obnoxious upper-class individuals, who are oblivious to his contempt: "Your nuts, M'Lord' 'Your crackers, M'Lady."
Chris Gledhill, Beverley, UK
My favourite work of his was Porridge, and I have been sat here trying to think which one of his one liners is my favourite from that show but I can't. Each episode is just half an hour of solid laughter as far as I'm concerned, and I can pay no higher tribute to a comic actor. He will certainly be missed, RIP Ronnie. God bless and thank you for the laughs.
Stephen Bridgeman, Bromley, England
Open All Hours:
Nurse Gladys: Business is looking up.
Arkwright: Yes, but p-pleasure is looking down (gazing at her cleavage)
Martin, London
"...and we will be speaking to the disillusioned vet who, in James Herriott style, is writing his memoirs, under the working title of 'All Creatures Grunt and Smell'"
Alan, London Uk
The Two Ronnies -
Jehosephat & Jones
"Little Mary-Ellen by the old barn door,
I know just what she's a-waitin' for.
Up in the loft where the lamp light flickers.
I lost my heart and she lost her parasol!"
KJ, Fife, Scotland
Four Candles sketch is my favourite.
William Kelly, Bathgate UK
My daughter and I sat at work remembering the brilliant sketches, especially in Open All Hours. He will be sadly missed. Our thoughts are with his family.
Lesley & Natalie, Oxford
Lesley Stowell, Oxford, England
Porridge.
Barker "That is a plant".
Mackay "No it's not, it's a tin of pineapples".
Allan, Edinburgh
My childhood revolves around memories of the Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise and my grandad making me laugh. It's a shame that so many of my comedy heroes are no longer here.
Mark Minghella, Prescot, UK
The Mastermind Sketch what else can you say but absolutely brilliant
Steve O'Mara, Yate South Glos
I had to add in my own two-bits to the site:
I don't see it mentioned here, but I remember a "Two Ronnies" "news" item about a woman who had been fitted with a faulty IUD and was now "expecting a baby in the spring."
I still find myself using "And it's goodnight from him" on customers, even if I know only a handful may understand the source.
What a team they were and they helped goose the image of TV comedy over here in America by the late 1970s.
Toby O'Brien, NYC, USA
Here's a look at Ronnie Barker's contributions to the roster of Toobworld:
TV MOVIES
Beyond the Box: Norman Stanley Fletcher (2003) (TV) .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
My House in Umbria (2003) (TV) .... The General
The Gathering Storm (2002) (TV) .... David Inches
Porridge (1979) .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
When We Are Married (1975) (TV)
The Picnic (1975) (TV) .... The General
Franklyn and Johnnie (1974) (TV) .... Johnnie Wetherby
Idle at Work (1972) (TV) .... George Idle
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1971) (TV) .... Bottom
The Keys of the Cafe (1965) (TV)
TV SERIES
"Clarence" (1988) TV Series .... Clarence Sale
"The Magnificent Evans" (1984) TV Series .... Plantagenet Evans
"Going Straight" (1978) TV Series .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
"Open All Hours" (1973) TV Series .... Arkwright (1973-1985)
"Porridge" (1973) TV Series .... Norman Stanley Fletcher
"Seven of One" (1973) TV Series .... Various
"His Lordship Entertains" (1972) TV Series .... Lord Rustless
"The Two Ronnies" (1971) TV Series .... Himself/Various Characters
"6 Dates with Barker" (1971) TV Series .... Fred
"Hark at Barker" (1969) TV Series .... Lord Rustless
"The Ronnie Barker Playhouse" (1968) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Frost on Sunday" (1968) TV Series .... Various roles
"Before the Fringe" (1967) TV Series
"Foreign Affairs" (1966) TV Series .... Grischa Petrovich
"The Frost Report" (1966) TV Series .... Various roles
"A Tale of Two Cities" (1965) TV Series .... Jerry Cruncher
"Bold as Brass" (1964) TV Series .... Mr. Oakroyd
"How to Be an Alien" (1964) TV Series (voice)
"More Faces of Jim" (1963) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Six More Faces of Jim" (1962) TV Series .... Various Characters
"The Seven Faces of Jim" (1961) TV Series .... Various Characters
"It's a Square World" (1960) TV Series
TV SPECIALS
The Two Ronnies at the Movies (1999) (TV)
The Comedy Trail: A Shaggy Dog Story (1999) (TV) .... Himself
Two Ronnies Night (1999) (TV) .... Himself
The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything (1999) (TV) .... Renaissance Man
Christmas Night with the Two Ronnies (1987) (TV) .... Various roles
"The Two Ronnies in Australia" (1987) TV Series .... Various roles Ronnie Corbett in Bed (1971) (TV) .... Various Characters
The Ronnie Barker Yearbook (1971) (TV) .... Various Characters
The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971) .... Guest Appearance (segment "Sloth")
"A Christmas Night with the Stars" (1958) TV Series .... Himself - Host (1971)
'Wiltons' - The Handsomest Hall in Town (1970) (TV) .... Music Hall Performer
TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"Comedy Connections" playing "Himself" (archive footage) in episode: "The Two Ronnies" (episode # 3.8) 11 April 2005
"Britain's Best Sitcom" playing "Himself" in episode: "Porridge" 21 February 2004
"The Avengers" playing "Cheshire" in episode: "The Hidden Tiger" (episode # 5.8) 4 March 1967
"The Saint" playing "Alphonse" in episode: "The Better Mousetrap" (episode # 5.9) 25 November 1966
"Sykes and A..." in episode: "Sykes and a Log Cabin" (episode # 7.6) 31 March 1964
"Benny Hill" playing "Chef" in episode: "A Pair of Socks" (episode # 1.2) 2 March 1962
And it's good night from him.
BCnU......
Tele-Toby
Monday, October 3, 2005
ON THE "THRESHOLD" OF THE CORN-FIELD
According to the latest episode of 'Threshold', the aliens may have been to Earth as long ago as a century before what was considered the initial contact on September 16th, 2005. This was based on the discovery of a 4-dimensional artifact of alien origin that had been found buried in Ohio, and analysis of the surrounding dirt.
Having been there since at least 1900, it's now a possibility that its mutagenic powers might have seeped into local water tables. Or perhaps it passed its deadly traits through the food chain via local crops. Buried as it was, it was theorized that its power had been dampened. But even so, over an extended period of exposure a family might have found itself affected; it may not have been readily apparent, but it still could have manifested istelf in future generations through DNA.
So it's possible this is the reason why Anthony Fremont was born in Peaksville, Ohio, already exhibiting the deadly powers he would use to isolate and terrorize the town by the time he was eight years old. ('The Twilight Zone' - "It's A Good Life")
Anthony might have also been part of the family tree that could be traced back to the demi-god Evander ('Hercules: The Legendary Journeys' - ""), all of whom were able to bring their imaginations to life.
And even then, the addition of the alien energies to his genetic make-up would have augmented the danger Anthony Fremont posed to the world with his "wet, purple gaze".
But... that's a good thing. It's a good thing that it happened. It has to be - I don't want to be wished into the corn field.
Or didn't you ever wonder why Martha Stewart is always saying it's a good thing?
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Having been there since at least 1900, it's now a possibility that its mutagenic powers might have seeped into local water tables. Or perhaps it passed its deadly traits through the food chain via local crops. Buried as it was, it was theorized that its power had been dampened. But even so, over an extended period of exposure a family might have found itself affected; it may not have been readily apparent, but it still could have manifested istelf in future generations through DNA.
So it's possible this is the reason why Anthony Fremont was born in Peaksville, Ohio, already exhibiting the deadly powers he would use to isolate and terrorize the town by the time he was eight years old. ('The Twilight Zone' - "It's A Good Life")
Anthony might have also been part of the family tree that could be traced back to the demi-god Evander ('Hercules: The Legendary Journeys' - ""), all of whom were able to bring their imaginations to life.
And even then, the addition of the alien energies to his genetic make-up would have augmented the danger Anthony Fremont posed to the world with his "wet, purple gaze".
But... that's a good thing. It's a good thing that it happened. It has to be - I don't want to be wished into the corn field.
Or didn't you ever wonder why Martha Stewart is always saying it's a good thing?
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
LINK FLOYD
This weekend marked the fiftieth anniversary for both 'The Honeymooners' and 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents', and the forty-fifth anniversary for 'The Andy Griffith Show'. TV Land marked the occasion for the citizens of Mayberry by showing 48 hours worth of episodes of the show.
I love all three series, but even with 'The Honeymooners' clocking in with only 39 episodes in its "original" format, I've never seen every episode of these shows. So every time I checked in to TV Land, there was always something new for this old televisiologist.
One such episode was "Stranger In Town", the tenth of the series. It had almost a 'Twilight Zone' aura to it as everyone was freaked out by the newcomer who knew all about them. It even had a "Zonish" mixture of hysteria and paranoia near the end as the citizens of Mayberry gave in to their fears and suspicions of the stranger and tried to run him out of town... or worse!
But what really marks the episode for notice is the first appearance of Floyd Lawson, the town barber. However, the Floyd we saw in that episode was played by a different actor than the man we came to know as the tonsorial artist. Whereas Howard McNear was the Floyd we came to know and love, it was Walter Baldwin who first commanded the chair.
It's easy enough to splain away. That first Floyd Lawson was in fact Floyd Lawson Senior. And when we meet Floyd again and he's now looking like Howard McNear, that's obviously his son.
However, he wasn't named after his own father, despite the fact that they shared the same name. Instead he was named after yet another Floyd, his mother's brother. It's one of those little quirks of small-town life which are taken for granted by the other characters in the show.
Oliver Wendell Douglas would understand how disoriented that could make a feller.
Speaking of 'The Twilight Zone', there's another theory about Floyd's dad which helps to expande the TV Universe - Old Man Lawson couldn't keep his trouser snake under control.
In another small North Carolina town, (Pitchville Flats, probably on the far side of Mt. Pilot), the elder Floyd Lawson had a mistress. And she bore him a son named Mitchell, half-brother to Floyd Lawson, Jr. (as seen in the episode "Hocus Pocus and Frisby").
Tele-genetics being what they are, Floyd, Jr. and Mitchell were half-brothers, identical half-brothers, and you would find that they laughed alike, they walked alike. At times they even talked alike!
You could lose your mind when half-brothers were two of a kind!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
I love all three series, but even with 'The Honeymooners' clocking in with only 39 episodes in its "original" format, I've never seen every episode of these shows. So every time I checked in to TV Land, there was always something new for this old televisiologist.
One such episode was "Stranger In Town", the tenth of the series. It had almost a 'Twilight Zone' aura to it as everyone was freaked out by the newcomer who knew all about them. It even had a "Zonish" mixture of hysteria and paranoia near the end as the citizens of Mayberry gave in to their fears and suspicions of the stranger and tried to run him out of town... or worse!
But what really marks the episode for notice is the first appearance of Floyd Lawson, the town barber. However, the Floyd we saw in that episode was played by a different actor than the man we came to know as the tonsorial artist. Whereas Howard McNear was the Floyd we came to know and love, it was Walter Baldwin who first commanded the chair.
It's easy enough to splain away. That first Floyd Lawson was in fact Floyd Lawson Senior. And when we meet Floyd again and he's now looking like Howard McNear, that's obviously his son.
However, he wasn't named after his own father, despite the fact that they shared the same name. Instead he was named after yet another Floyd, his mother's brother. It's one of those little quirks of small-town life which are taken for granted by the other characters in the show.
Oliver Wendell Douglas would understand how disoriented that could make a feller.
Speaking of 'The Twilight Zone', there's another theory about Floyd's dad which helps to expande the TV Universe - Old Man Lawson couldn't keep his trouser snake under control.
In another small North Carolina town, (Pitchville Flats, probably on the far side of Mt. Pilot), the elder Floyd Lawson had a mistress. And she bore him a son named Mitchell, half-brother to Floyd Lawson, Jr. (as seen in the episode "Hocus Pocus and Frisby").
Tele-genetics being what they are, Floyd, Jr. and Mitchell were half-brothers, identical half-brothers, and you would find that they laughed alike, they walked alike. At times they even talked alike!
You could lose your mind when half-brothers were two of a kind!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
PLUGGIN' C.J. WILSON
[I was going to name this "Gosh, Mr. Wilson!" - more televisionary, you know, - but I know I can't be the only one out there who googles his own name..... ]
C.J. Wilson lives upstairs from Toobworld Central. He is known to my ceilings as "Thunderfoot".
He's appeared in the Broadway productions of "Henry IV", "A Long Day's Journey Into Night", and "The Best Man".
And this coming Thursday, he'll be appearing in an episode of 'Without A Trace' on CBS. It should be Episode #72, "Safe":
"The team searches for a missing teenager who was paranoid about his own personal safety and left an ominous message behind.They investigate whether the 15-year-old whiz kid is missing of his own accord in order to execute his elaborate plan to bomb his high school."
For Toobworld Central, it airs on WCBS-2 at 10 pm, Thursday. But check your local times and listings.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
C.J. Wilson lives upstairs from Toobworld Central. He is known to my ceilings as "Thunderfoot".
He's appeared in the Broadway productions of "Henry IV", "A Long Day's Journey Into Night", and "The Best Man".
And this coming Thursday, he'll be appearing in an episode of 'Without A Trace' on CBS. It should be Episode #72, "Safe":
"The team searches for a missing teenager who was paranoid about his own personal safety and left an ominous message behind.They investigate whether the 15-year-old whiz kid is missing of his own accord in order to execute his elaborate plan to bomb his high school."
For Toobworld Central, it airs on WCBS-2 at 10 pm, Thursday. But check your local times and listings.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Sunday, October 2, 2005
SWEET HALL OF FAMER!
October! Halloween! The Treehouse of Horror!
Usually we mark this month by inducting somebody into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame who's - Owoooo! - really scary, kids... or at least some kind of monster: Jack the Ripper, Frankenstein's Monster(s), Lee Harvey Oswald....
And usually, as with any other inductee, we still require the minimum of three different occurrences to qualify.
But not this year. In this year of living fiftyishly, I've thrown all of that to the wind and have been inducting those I consider worthy for inclusion but who are shy on the requirements.
It's a case of "What I Say, Goes".
So for October, I've got a candidate who's truly demonic. However, he made only one appearance in Television and yet I can make the claim that his influence can be felt throughout not only Earth Prime Time but in several of the alternate dimensions as well.
And even though the candidate is demonic, he's also sweet.
Sweet with a capital "S", that is. Sweet the Demon who appeared in "Once More With Feeling", the all-singing! all-dancing! episode of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'.
Using his supernatural powers, Sweet forced people to confront their innermost feelings through song and dance; sometimes pushing them beyond their limits until they burst into spontaneous combustion.
Hippie Coke drinkers might wish they could teach the World to sing, but Sweet made it mandatory.
As I said, when he was summoned to Sunnydale, it was the first and only time we actually saw Sweet. But that wasn't the only TV location at which he worked his black magic. There are other series which show the tell-tale signs that they were under Sweet's demonic influence:
'That's Life'
'Hull High'
'Cop Rock'
Each of these shows were weekly musical slices of Life, with their song and dance showcases presented as though they were everyday events.
'That's Life' was a year in the life of a young couple as they fell in love, married, and planned for a family.
'Hull High' tracked the trials and tribulations of teachers and students at the title high school.
And most infamous of them all, 'Cop Rock' followed the Men In Blue as they walked the beat with dancing flat feet, all to the music of Randy Newman.
This show had actual crossovers which spread the influence of Sweet. In one of the episodes, McKenzie-Brackman lawyers Victor Sifuentes and Abby Perkins of 'L.A. Law' showed up and Lt. Howard Hunter from 'Hill Street Blues' made an appearance in another.
That trio of shows were full series that were probably under Sweet's sway. There's another one as well, but which is found in the alternate TV dimension of Earth Prime Time Delay. That would be 'The Honeymooners', which featured Sheila MacRae instead of Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden.
Here's what Musicals 101 (link to the left) has to say about the show:
"As part of his weekly CBS variety series, [Jackie] Gleason produced ten hour-long musicals featuring Ralph Kramden and his beloved 'Honeymooners' cohorts. The Kramdens and Nortons win an all expenses paid vacation (by writing a slogan for Flakey Wakey breakfast cereal), and proceed to sing and dance their way through every major European country -- with an African safari thrown in.
These episodes were tremendous fun, and were so well received that they inspired Gleason to produce 32 more new 'Honeymooners' episodes over the next three years."
Had it not been for Ms. MacRae as the Alice recastaway, I would have had no trouble inflicting this upon 'The Honeymooners' of the main Toobworld, even though we never saw this happen in the original 39 episodes. (By the way, the original series celebrates its fiftieth anniversary this weekend.)
Sometimes only one episode might signal the presence of Sweet's influence, rather than the whole series.
Over in the Tooniverse, it looks like Sweet could have added to the trauma of a hurricane fast approaching Lawndale by making the friends and family of 'Daria' Morgendorffer make all their preparations in time with the music.
On 'Xena: Warrior Princess', Sweet may have been pulling the strings behind the scenes in the dimension of Illusia, a tarot-card dream world. That was where feuding partners Xena and Gabrielle broke into song for their "Bitter Suite" war of words.
If Sweet also worked as a dreamin' demon, then some of his victims may not even have known that they were being assaulted by him. For example, while on a trip through Europe, Lucy Ricardo was devastated when her husband Ricky wouldn't let her take a side-trip to her ancestral origins in the Scottish Highlands.
So instead, "Lucy Goes To Scotland" anyway by dreaming of her ancestry as a MacGillicuddy in Kildoonan. And she even incorporated her friends Fred and Ethel as a two-headed dragon. (Perhaps it was a race memory of Siskbert from the movie "Willow". Okay.... maybe not.)
The fact that a potential victim was incapacitated by illness probably made no difference to Sweet. He would never have hesitated to violate Dr. Aaron Schutt's mind into transforming the key points of his life into song.
Songs in the key of Life, as it were.
But if characters bursting into song was a sign of Sweet's presence in Toobworld, then it's the plethora of musicals in the Golden Age of Television which certainly buttress that argument.
I've gone through the book "Television Specials" by Vincent Terrace and visited the TV Musicals pages of the Musicals 101 site to find a few interesting examples where Sweet might have set the beat:
"Amahl And The Night Visitors"
"Commissioned by NBC, this enchanting opera became one of the landmark events in early television.
A crippled shepherd boy joins the Three Magi and is cured when he gives his only possession (his crutch) to the new born Christ."
Sweet would have attempted to exert his influence over the birth of Christ in eight different TV dimensions, since this opera had eight different productions (with many cast changes) on NBC over the years.
~~~~~
"Aladdin"
The legend of the Arabian Knights was not the tale of a blue genie in a red-hot Disney 'toon, but instead a tuneful tale by Cole Porter who created "Red, Hot, And Blue!". They both shared the basic same characters in Aladdin, the Emperor, and Princess Jasmine, however.
I'm inclined to keep this version of the story in the main Toobworld, especially because of the appearance by George Hall as the Chamberlain. I'd like to make the case that he was the root of the family tree that led to Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. in 'The Indiana Jones Chronicles'.
~~~~~
"The Legend Of Robin Hood"
Here's another character who's only a legend in the Real World, but a living breathing figure of reality in Toobworld. Of course, as with many of these mythic characters, there are many different versions and plenty of dimensions in which to house them.
With music and lyrics by James Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn, and a range of actors including Noel Harrison, Roddy McDowall, Victor Buono, Walter Slezak, and maintaining a family tradition, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Sweet could take great pride in the atmosphere he created in Sherwood Forest.
~~~~~
"Jack And The Beanstalk"
Sweet would have had several opportunities across the dimensional vortex to interfere with the tale of Jack the Giant-Killer. The 1956 version which starred Joel Grey, Cyril Ritchard, and Celeste Holm is situated in the main Toobworld; while the version starring Gene Kelly about a decade later would be found in Earth Prime Time Delay.
~~~~~
"A Christmas Carol" - 1954/"The Stingiest Man In Town" - 1956
Here's another case in which Sweet could have made several attempts to distort the lives of the same characters in several dimensions. Nevertheless, neither of these would be my choice for the official TV version. (I'm still up in the air regarding that.)
Interestingly enough, Jacob Marley in the earlier production was an exact mirror image to the Ebenezer Scrooge of the latter musical version. (Yeah I know.... it's because Basil Rathbone played both roles.)
~~~~~
"Saga Of Sonora"
Sweet might have even worked his magic in the Wild, Wild West with this tale of "sheer lunacy and great mad charm" (as described in the IMDb.com). Don Adams narrated the tale as Vince Edwards was tossed back in time to face off against a villain and his dastardly damsel (as played by Zero Mostel and Jill St. John).
One of the lines - "It was suicide. He backed into my gun six times." - echoed down the ages in an episode of 'Batman' in which Shame showed off his fancy pocket watch which he traded for with a train conductor. When asked what he gave the conductor in return, Shame drawled, "Three bullets in the haid."
~~~~~
"A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court"
There have been lots of tele-versions of this Mark Twain classic, and plenty of TV dimensions in which to send it. My favorite version of the hero was Thomas Mitchell, but the production was a bit shoddy. Still this version - with Eddie Albert as Martin Barrett, - is closely tied to that earlier staging in that Boris Karloff again portrayed Arthur Pendragon. ~~~~~
"Of Thee I Sing"
There's a TV dimension which I've dubbed "Earth Prime Time MOTW" - in which we find all of the American Presidents who served only in TV movies of the week. And this Pulitzer Prize winning 1930s Gershwin hit would be the perfect opportunity for Sweet to assail the Oval Office.
(And what a cast! Carroll O'Connor, Cloris Leachman, Jim Backus, Michelle Lee, Jack Gilford, Jesse White, Paul Hartman, and Ted Knight!)
But Sweet would not have been above fiddling about with the destinies of the POTUS in the main Toobworld, however.....
~~~~~
"The Great Man's Whiskers"
Earlier in the summer, I decided that the late Ford Rainey should be the official face of Abraham Lincoln in the TV Universe with three different portrayals of the 16th President. However, recastaways can be ignored when the change in appearance is due to an alteration in physical appearance. Aging and plastic surgery are the main reasons, but why not the addition of a beard as well?
I'm willing to say that this moment in the life of Honest Abe, in which a young girl writes to President Lincoln suggesting he grow a beard to hide the sadness in his face, should be considered part of Earth Prime Time. From this portrayal by Jason Robards, he would later age into the look of Ford Rainey.
And you can't beat the lyrics of Yip Harburg, in my book!
~~~~~
"Olympus 7-0000"
If Sweet was involved in this tale told on the 'Kraft Music Hall', then the god-hood of Hermes proved to be no match when the wing-footed son of Zeus is summoned to assist a struggling college football coach in New England.
~~~~~
"It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Superman!"
The Man of Steel is a modern-day myth with many incarnations across the dimensional vortex.
1] 'The Adventures of Superman' can be found in the main Toobworld.
2] 'Lois & Clark' and 'The Adventures of Superboy' share the same alternate universe, Earth Prime Time Delay.
3] Because Clark Kent has yet to go public in his persona of Superman, I feel safe in relegating 'Smallville' to the same world in which 'The West Wing' takes place. (But all bets might be off this season.)
4] 'Superfriends', 'Justice League Unlimited' and all other animated versions exist in the Tooniverse. (But their Superman crossed the vortex to visit with Jerry Seinfeld in the main Toobworld.)
But here's yet another version, and fans of the comic book know that Superman would have no protection against Sweet's magic. But it must have taken something out of the demon because it's a pretty lousy score which was inflicted on Metropolis.
~~~~~~
"Evening Primrose"
If 'The Twilight Zone' had ever been invaded by Sweet, this might have been the type of story we'd see. Using the music of Stephen Sondheim, it was the story of an underground society living in a department store at night, and it had an unnerving finale that was reminiscent of Rod Serling's bailiwick.
So there you have it - just a few of the many reasons as to why I consider Sweet the Demon worthy of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Usually we mark this month by inducting somebody into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame who's - Owoooo! - really scary, kids... or at least some kind of monster: Jack the Ripper, Frankenstein's Monster(s), Lee Harvey Oswald....
And usually, as with any other inductee, we still require the minimum of three different occurrences to qualify.
But not this year. In this year of living fiftyishly, I've thrown all of that to the wind and have been inducting those I consider worthy for inclusion but who are shy on the requirements.
It's a case of "What I Say, Goes".
So for October, I've got a candidate who's truly demonic. However, he made only one appearance in Television and yet I can make the claim that his influence can be felt throughout not only Earth Prime Time but in several of the alternate dimensions as well.
And even though the candidate is demonic, he's also sweet.
Sweet with a capital "S", that is. Sweet the Demon who appeared in "Once More With Feeling", the all-singing! all-dancing! episode of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer'.
Using his supernatural powers, Sweet forced people to confront their innermost feelings through song and dance; sometimes pushing them beyond their limits until they burst into spontaneous combustion.
Hippie Coke drinkers might wish they could teach the World to sing, but Sweet made it mandatory.
As I said, when he was summoned to Sunnydale, it was the first and only time we actually saw Sweet. But that wasn't the only TV location at which he worked his black magic. There are other series which show the tell-tale signs that they were under Sweet's demonic influence:
'That's Life'
'Hull High'
'Cop Rock'
Each of these shows were weekly musical slices of Life, with their song and dance showcases presented as though they were everyday events.
'That's Life' was a year in the life of a young couple as they fell in love, married, and planned for a family.
'Hull High' tracked the trials and tribulations of teachers and students at the title high school.
And most infamous of them all, 'Cop Rock' followed the Men In Blue as they walked the beat with dancing flat feet, all to the music of Randy Newman.
This show had actual crossovers which spread the influence of Sweet. In one of the episodes, McKenzie-Brackman lawyers Victor Sifuentes and Abby Perkins of 'L.A. Law' showed up and Lt. Howard Hunter from 'Hill Street Blues' made an appearance in another.
That trio of shows were full series that were probably under Sweet's sway. There's another one as well, but which is found in the alternate TV dimension of Earth Prime Time Delay. That would be 'The Honeymooners', which featured Sheila MacRae instead of Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden.
Here's what Musicals 101 (link to the left) has to say about the show:
"As part of his weekly CBS variety series, [Jackie] Gleason produced ten hour-long musicals featuring Ralph Kramden and his beloved 'Honeymooners' cohorts. The Kramdens and Nortons win an all expenses paid vacation (by writing a slogan for Flakey Wakey breakfast cereal), and proceed to sing and dance their way through every major European country -- with an African safari thrown in.
These episodes were tremendous fun, and were so well received that they inspired Gleason to produce 32 more new 'Honeymooners' episodes over the next three years."
Had it not been for Ms. MacRae as the Alice recastaway, I would have had no trouble inflicting this upon 'The Honeymooners' of the main Toobworld, even though we never saw this happen in the original 39 episodes. (By the way, the original series celebrates its fiftieth anniversary this weekend.)
Sometimes only one episode might signal the presence of Sweet's influence, rather than the whole series.
Over in the Tooniverse, it looks like Sweet could have added to the trauma of a hurricane fast approaching Lawndale by making the friends and family of 'Daria' Morgendorffer make all their preparations in time with the music.
On 'Xena: Warrior Princess', Sweet may have been pulling the strings behind the scenes in the dimension of Illusia, a tarot-card dream world. That was where feuding partners Xena and Gabrielle broke into song for their "Bitter Suite" war of words.
If Sweet also worked as a dreamin' demon, then some of his victims may not even have known that they were being assaulted by him. For example, while on a trip through Europe, Lucy Ricardo was devastated when her husband Ricky wouldn't let her take a side-trip to her ancestral origins in the Scottish Highlands.
So instead, "Lucy Goes To Scotland" anyway by dreaming of her ancestry as a MacGillicuddy in Kildoonan. And she even incorporated her friends Fred and Ethel as a two-headed dragon. (Perhaps it was a race memory of Siskbert from the movie "Willow". Okay.... maybe not.)
The fact that a potential victim was incapacitated by illness probably made no difference to Sweet. He would never have hesitated to violate Dr. Aaron Schutt's mind into transforming the key points of his life into song.
Songs in the key of Life, as it were.
But if characters bursting into song was a sign of Sweet's presence in Toobworld, then it's the plethora of musicals in the Golden Age of Television which certainly buttress that argument.
I've gone through the book "Television Specials" by Vincent Terrace and visited the TV Musicals pages of the Musicals 101 site to find a few interesting examples where Sweet might have set the beat:
"Amahl And The Night Visitors"
"Commissioned by NBC, this enchanting opera became one of the landmark events in early television.
A crippled shepherd boy joins the Three Magi and is cured when he gives his only possession (his crutch) to the new born Christ."
Sweet would have attempted to exert his influence over the birth of Christ in eight different TV dimensions, since this opera had eight different productions (with many cast changes) on NBC over the years.
~~~~~
"Aladdin"
The legend of the Arabian Knights was not the tale of a blue genie in a red-hot Disney 'toon, but instead a tuneful tale by Cole Porter who created "Red, Hot, And Blue!". They both shared the basic same characters in Aladdin, the Emperor, and Princess Jasmine, however.
I'm inclined to keep this version of the story in the main Toobworld, especially because of the appearance by George Hall as the Chamberlain. I'd like to make the case that he was the root of the family tree that led to Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. in 'The Indiana Jones Chronicles'.
~~~~~
"The Legend Of Robin Hood"
Here's another character who's only a legend in the Real World, but a living breathing figure of reality in Toobworld. Of course, as with many of these mythic characters, there are many different versions and plenty of dimensions in which to house them.
With music and lyrics by James Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn, and a range of actors including Noel Harrison, Roddy McDowall, Victor Buono, Walter Slezak, and maintaining a family tradition, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Sweet could take great pride in the atmosphere he created in Sherwood Forest.
~~~~~
"Jack And The Beanstalk"
Sweet would have had several opportunities across the dimensional vortex to interfere with the tale of Jack the Giant-Killer. The 1956 version which starred Joel Grey, Cyril Ritchard, and Celeste Holm is situated in the main Toobworld; while the version starring Gene Kelly about a decade later would be found in Earth Prime Time Delay.
~~~~~
"A Christmas Carol" - 1954/"The Stingiest Man In Town" - 1956
Here's another case in which Sweet could have made several attempts to distort the lives of the same characters in several dimensions. Nevertheless, neither of these would be my choice for the official TV version. (I'm still up in the air regarding that.)
Interestingly enough, Jacob Marley in the earlier production was an exact mirror image to the Ebenezer Scrooge of the latter musical version. (Yeah I know.... it's because Basil Rathbone played both roles.)
~~~~~
"Saga Of Sonora"
Sweet might have even worked his magic in the Wild, Wild West with this tale of "sheer lunacy and great mad charm" (as described in the IMDb.com). Don Adams narrated the tale as Vince Edwards was tossed back in time to face off against a villain and his dastardly damsel (as played by Zero Mostel and Jill St. John).
One of the lines - "It was suicide. He backed into my gun six times." - echoed down the ages in an episode of 'Batman' in which Shame showed off his fancy pocket watch which he traded for with a train conductor. When asked what he gave the conductor in return, Shame drawled, "Three bullets in the haid."
~~~~~
"A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court"
There have been lots of tele-versions of this Mark Twain classic, and plenty of TV dimensions in which to send it. My favorite version of the hero was Thomas Mitchell, but the production was a bit shoddy. Still this version - with Eddie Albert as Martin Barrett, - is closely tied to that earlier staging in that Boris Karloff again portrayed Arthur Pendragon. ~~~~~
"Of Thee I Sing"
There's a TV dimension which I've dubbed "Earth Prime Time MOTW" - in which we find all of the American Presidents who served only in TV movies of the week. And this Pulitzer Prize winning 1930s Gershwin hit would be the perfect opportunity for Sweet to assail the Oval Office.
(And what a cast! Carroll O'Connor, Cloris Leachman, Jim Backus, Michelle Lee, Jack Gilford, Jesse White, Paul Hartman, and Ted Knight!)
But Sweet would not have been above fiddling about with the destinies of the POTUS in the main Toobworld, however.....
~~~~~
"The Great Man's Whiskers"
Earlier in the summer, I decided that the late Ford Rainey should be the official face of Abraham Lincoln in the TV Universe with three different portrayals of the 16th President. However, recastaways can be ignored when the change in appearance is due to an alteration in physical appearance. Aging and plastic surgery are the main reasons, but why not the addition of a beard as well?
I'm willing to say that this moment in the life of Honest Abe, in which a young girl writes to President Lincoln suggesting he grow a beard to hide the sadness in his face, should be considered part of Earth Prime Time. From this portrayal by Jason Robards, he would later age into the look of Ford Rainey.
And you can't beat the lyrics of Yip Harburg, in my book!
~~~~~
"Olympus 7-0000"
If Sweet was involved in this tale told on the 'Kraft Music Hall', then the god-hood of Hermes proved to be no match when the wing-footed son of Zeus is summoned to assist a struggling college football coach in New England.
~~~~~
"It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Superman!"
The Man of Steel is a modern-day myth with many incarnations across the dimensional vortex.
1] 'The Adventures of Superman' can be found in the main Toobworld.
2] 'Lois & Clark' and 'The Adventures of Superboy' share the same alternate universe, Earth Prime Time Delay.
3] Because Clark Kent has yet to go public in his persona of Superman, I feel safe in relegating 'Smallville' to the same world in which 'The West Wing' takes place. (But all bets might be off this season.)
4] 'Superfriends', 'Justice League Unlimited' and all other animated versions exist in the Tooniverse. (But their Superman crossed the vortex to visit with Jerry Seinfeld in the main Toobworld.)
But here's yet another version, and fans of the comic book know that Superman would have no protection against Sweet's magic. But it must have taken something out of the demon because it's a pretty lousy score which was inflicted on Metropolis.
~~~~~~
"Evening Primrose"
If 'The Twilight Zone' had ever been invaded by Sweet, this might have been the type of story we'd see. Using the music of Stephen Sondheim, it was the story of an underground society living in a department store at night, and it had an unnerving finale that was reminiscent of Rod Serling's bailiwick.
So there you have it - just a few of the many reasons as to why I consider Sweet the Demon worthy of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
