A TOOBWORLD "GREAT LINK" ESSAY
Noted sci-fi author Lin Carter coined the phrase "Para-Terra" to describe an alternate dimension that correlates to, but is not the same as, the one in which the original Earth is located. And that's what we have thanks to TV shows like 'Sliders' and 'Star Trek' and several episodes of 'The Twilight Zone'. The nice thing about all those countless parallel dimensions to the main TV Universe is that there's always a place to tuck away a TV show which has been remade.
And it's usually on the Toobworld known as Earth Prime-Time Delayed where a later version of an original TV show gets relocated. Past examples include 'The New Addams Family', 'Dark Shadows', and 'Sea Hunt'. On the other hand, the 'Burke's Law' [of the 1990s], and 'Bret Maverick' are continuations of their originals and so would remain in the original TV Universe.
It's a ploy that can work for a specific character as well; one who has been recast several times over. This usually happens only to historical figures like Abraham Lincoln or Adolph Hitler, whose lives keep getting the TV movie or mini-series treatment.
Take President John F. Kennedy, for example. It seems like a year (or TV season) doesn't go by without at least one version of the New Camelot being produced.
We could always say that each and everyone of those versions of JFK belong in the main Toobworld, and that any differences in physical appearance due to casting can be shrugged off as variations due to historical perspective. Those are all big words and they sound deep, so people should buy that argument. But what the bleep, there are all those parallel dimensions that need their own Kennedy mythos, so why not spread around the wealth? (Just don't ask me to choose among them for the one to elevate into the main TV Universe and leave the others not ready for Earth Prime-Time. I can't be that discerning.)
If it's a situation where that historical character is dramatized to interact with fictional characters within a TV show, like when "Bill & Hillary Clinton" met Fran Fine ('The Nanny'), then it should be relegated to the main TV Universe of Earth Prime Time, and the historical perspective argument should be invoked.
A current case in point is the life of King Henry VIII. Earth Prime-Time already has the remarkable Keith Michell, who won an Emmy for his portrayal of the much-married monarch in 'The Six Wives Of Henry The VIII'. And as the Caretaker of Toobworld, I see no reason to depose him.
But now 'Masterpiece Theater' comes along with a new look at Henry's need for a good marriage counsellor several decades later. I see no reason why His Majesty, as portrayed by Ray Winstone, couldn't be the master of his domain over in the world of Earth Prime-Time Delayed.
That perpetually late dimension shouldn't feel as if it's second-rate or that it's getting hand-me-downs, however. After all, they get an Anne Boleyn who looks like Helena Bonham Carter....
And that ain't too shabby, Your Highness!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby The First
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Tuesday, November 9, 2004
TOBY IN TOOBWORLD
November 8th, 2004 would have been my father's 75th birthday. I marked it by having breakfast with my cousin Maggie and her husband Ed before they left by train to Florida, and then I went to the ABC studios to watch a taping of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'.
They say that there are two things which you should never see being made - laws and sausages. In my novel-in-progress about Toobworld, I added "TV shows" to that group. But I was lucky in this case, as the whole proceedings went by painlessly enough.
I was invited by a fellow Iddiot, Brian-El, who was going to be auditioning that day for a chance to be a contestant on some future episode. I was seated on the aisle in the last row up, but behind Meredith Viera, so there's a good chance I may be seen when they do audience shots.
During the audience warm-up, comic Paul Michael Mercurio singled me out, claiming that I wasn't giving him anything during the reaction practices. He wanted to hear a "ha-HA!" from me and I obliged him with a "ha-HA!" that would have made Nelson Muntz proud - if he had been a pirate. I may have scared off Mercurio, but the audience gave me a nice round of applause.
Sitting at home, the game doesn't look all that hard, and from the audience it doesn't seem any more difficult. I'm sure though that it's quite a different story once you're seated opposite Meredith.
Still, I couldn't believe the questions for which they needed help from the audience, or phoned a friend, or missed completely, or even just walked away from. But then again, I would have been wrong when it came to identifying the culminating celebration of the High Holiday period in the Jewish faith. (The answer was "Yom Kippur" and even with the "50-50" elimination, I would still have gone with Rosh Hashanah. But what do I know? I'm a lapsed Catholic; I don't even know all of my Holy Days of Obligation. Or, as we say in the O'Brien Clan, "O'Bligation".)
The two episodes I watched were the 499th and the 500th. (Quite frankly, I didn't even realize it was still on the air.)
It seems that whenever I go to shows and sit in the audience, there's something epochal about them. My friend Scully and I were in the audience for the 100th episode of 'The Late Show With David Letterman' and we can be seen getting copies of Dave's vacation picture from the Letterman Himself.
This show, even if I show up on screen or not, has no bearing on my own personal quest to join my own TV Crossover Hall of Fame. First off, I'd be pretty desperate to include it unless I was the actual contestant.
But I am already well qualified to induct myself. (Oh, is THAT what they call it now?)
1] I was made a citizen of Joyville on 'The Hap Richards Show' and I still have the original document to prove it.
2] I appeared on 'The Ranger Station' and proudly proclaimed myself as "Toby Hans-# O'Brien". (My cousin, Laurie Hansen, had just given her name before me and I was suffering stage fright.)
3] At many of the hockey games when Gerry Miller was a player, I was often seen in the stands as a hockey fan. (The TV movie 'The Deadliest Season'.)
These two episodes of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' won't be seen until March 24th and March 25th, 2005, so make your plans accordingly!
One nice bit of Toobworld cross-pollination: one question was about a celebrity who answered the jury questionaire with "I have been a resident of Chicago since 1983, and I have a little talk show."
The contestant, David the Drum Major, pointed out that he watches the show every day when he should be at work instead, and so he knew it was "Oprah". Meredith Viera then demanded to know if he watched 'The View'. Ya gotta be smart to be on this show, so of course David said yes!
By the way, they announced during one of the breaks that my brother Iddiot Brian-El (aka Brian Leonard) passed the auditions and will be a future contestant on the show.
As we say around Toobworld Central, Mazel Tob!
They say that there are two things which you should never see being made - laws and sausages. In my novel-in-progress about Toobworld, I added "TV shows" to that group. But I was lucky in this case, as the whole proceedings went by painlessly enough.
I was invited by a fellow Iddiot, Brian-El, who was going to be auditioning that day for a chance to be a contestant on some future episode. I was seated on the aisle in the last row up, but behind Meredith Viera, so there's a good chance I may be seen when they do audience shots.
During the audience warm-up, comic Paul Michael Mercurio singled me out, claiming that I wasn't giving him anything during the reaction practices. He wanted to hear a "ha-HA!" from me and I obliged him with a "ha-HA!" that would have made Nelson Muntz proud - if he had been a pirate. I may have scared off Mercurio, but the audience gave me a nice round of applause.
Sitting at home, the game doesn't look all that hard, and from the audience it doesn't seem any more difficult. I'm sure though that it's quite a different story once you're seated opposite Meredith.
Still, I couldn't believe the questions for which they needed help from the audience, or phoned a friend, or missed completely, or even just walked away from. But then again, I would have been wrong when it came to identifying the culminating celebration of the High Holiday period in the Jewish faith. (The answer was "Yom Kippur" and even with the "50-50" elimination, I would still have gone with Rosh Hashanah. But what do I know? I'm a lapsed Catholic; I don't even know all of my Holy Days of Obligation. Or, as we say in the O'Brien Clan, "O'Bligation".)
The two episodes I watched were the 499th and the 500th. (Quite frankly, I didn't even realize it was still on the air.)
It seems that whenever I go to shows and sit in the audience, there's something epochal about them. My friend Scully and I were in the audience for the 100th episode of 'The Late Show With David Letterman' and we can be seen getting copies of Dave's vacation picture from the Letterman Himself.
This show, even if I show up on screen or not, has no bearing on my own personal quest to join my own TV Crossover Hall of Fame. First off, I'd be pretty desperate to include it unless I was the actual contestant.
But I am already well qualified to induct myself. (Oh, is THAT what they call it now?)
1] I was made a citizen of Joyville on 'The Hap Richards Show' and I still have the original document to prove it.
2] I appeared on 'The Ranger Station' and proudly proclaimed myself as "Toby Hans-# O'Brien". (My cousin, Laurie Hansen, had just given her name before me and I was suffering stage fright.)
3] At many of the hockey games when Gerry Miller was a player, I was often seen in the stands as a hockey fan. (The TV movie 'The Deadliest Season'.)
These two episodes of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' won't be seen until March 24th and March 25th, 2005, so make your plans accordingly!
One nice bit of Toobworld cross-pollination: one question was about a celebrity who answered the jury questionaire with "I have been a resident of Chicago since 1983, and I have a little talk show."
The contestant, David the Drum Major, pointed out that he watches the show every day when he should be at work instead, and so he knew it was "Oprah". Meredith Viera then demanded to know if he watched 'The View'. Ya gotta be smart to be on this show, so of course David said yes!
By the way, they announced during one of the breaks that my brother Iddiot Brian-El (aka Brian Leonard) passed the auditions and will be a future contestant on the show.
As we say around Toobworld Central, Mazel Tob!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby Hans-#Sunday, November 7, 2004
WEEKLY ROUNDUP
THE YADA-YADA
The Crossover of the Week is between the CBS soap opera 'As The World Turns' and a commercial for Tyson chicken products. We wrote about it yesterday and gave it its own entry in the blog.
This way, we can devote more space to a TV event that's helping to flesh out the TV Universe......
THE GREAT LINK
As part of a plan to link UPN's 'Star Trek: Enterprise' more closely with the original 'Trek' series -- 'Enterprise' is prequel to the 1960s cult favorite -- the current series launched a mini-arc that features characters and actors from across the whole history of the science-fiction franchise.
"Borderland," was the first of three episodes guest-starring Brent Spiner. He played the android Data on the first 'Trek' sequel series, 'Star Trek: The Next Generation,' and in several 'Star Trek' feature films, most recently 'Nemesis' in 2002.
From TV Guide:
“Brent Spinder begins a three-episode stint as an unsavory geneticist with ties to Data, his Star Trek The Next Generation character. In keeping with Trek continuity, Spiner’s Arik Soong is an ancestor of Data’s inventor, Noonien Soong.
But Arik is a far more menacing figure. He’s in prison for creating “augments,” physically and intellectually enhanced humanoids first developed during the Eugenics Wars (remember Khan?). Here, Archer tries to avert bloodshed by enlisting Arik’s aid in locating the mutant-eers (led by Alec Newman), who have seized a Klingon vessel."
Soong created Khan-like superhumans 20 years prior to the events of this episode by defrosting a bunch of genetically engineered embryos from the late 20th century and raising them as his own. Ten years later, Soong was captured, tried and imprisoned - but they never found his “kids” until now.
Obviously, the Soong family is particularly enamored of Khan Noonien Singh, as Arik Soong's grandson will name his own child after the genetically enhanced dictator - Noonian Soong.
('Enterprise' & 'Star Trek' & 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' & 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine')
HISTORY, CHANNELLED
The show is sticking to the continuity of the orginal Kirk-Spock-McCoy series, which established that Khan ruled and enslaved a good chunk of Earth between 1992 and 1996.
In our world, the alternate version was that of the ethnic cleansing in the Baltic states and the horrors of Somalia.
('Enterprise' & 'Star Trek')
MISSING LINK
There are three new ads for the California Milk Advisory Board, which continue the "Happy Cows" storyline.
This time around, the cows play a prank on a farmer, try to avoid the shade cast by the single cloud in the sky, and lose interest halfway through a hotly contested foot race.
They are no ordinary cows, but bovines with brains. And although they do not walk upright and wear clothes like humans, they may still be related to the cows that were given an evolutionary boost by a meteor's radiation in 'Cows'.
'Cows' was the failed pilot for a comedy series in the UK, created by comedian and actor Eddie Izzard. If it could be compared to anything, I'd have to use 'Dinosaurs!' as the example since it would have shown the foibles of the human race as seen through the lives of these intelligent, humanoid, happy cows.
('Happy Cows' & 'Cows')
ZONK
From The West Wing Continuity Guide:
"If Bartlet's granddaughter, Annie was 12 six years ago during the pilot of the series, how can she be starting high school the week before The Birnam Wood takes place?"
Tristan Weir emailed us to point this out. We do not have an explanation. Are we to think she has been held back in school or has she been so sick she couldn't keep up with her grade level or is she and or us in some kind of time warp?
Maybe he was so concentrated on getting these people together that Bartlet misspoke and meant to say, "Annie started her last year of high school last week" and he just left out the words "her last year of".
The West Wing Continuity Guide is at:
http://westwing.bewarne.com/default.html
SPLAININ TO DO
Edwin Poole of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt grew up watching Perry Mason. In fact, Perry came to him in a dream to tell him that he should take a murder case pro bono.
Edwin Poole may have been fried mentally (He came to work one morning wearing no pants, no underwear.), but his craziness wasn't presenting him with visions of a TV show that should have been part of the reality in the same universe where he resided.
Poole said he grew up watching Perry Mason. Mason was a very famous lawyer; his exploits in the criminal justice system in Los Angeles were the stuff of legend. He probably appeared often in the newspapers and on early local TV out there.
Nothing so far suggests that Edwin Poole could not have been raised in Los Angeles; maybe he moved to Boston after law school. [He wouldn't have been the first - several of the lawyers in the firm of Cage & Fish were not originally from Beantown. ('Ally McBeal')] So that's probably what he meant when he said he grew up watching Perry Mason. It had nothing to do with any television show.
As to him saying that Perry came to him in a dream..... Well, the guy is nuts, remember.
('Boston Legal' & 'Perry Mason')
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Ford’s retro-hip 2005 Mustang debuted in a new commercial this past week. And it resurrected the late icon Steve McQueen in a fashion that's reminiscent of "Field Of Dreams".
“If you build it, he will come,” whispers the voice from Beyond to a corn farmer in Chilliwack, British Columbia. He then carves a racetrack into the crops and pulls the Mustang up to the starting line.
And then McQueen, who famously drove a Mustang in 1968’s "Bullitt", swaggers onto the racetrack to take a spin. The blipvert concludes with a tagline that fits both man and machine; “The legend lives.”
('2005 Mustang')
Apparently, in the TV Universe this would actually be the ghost of the late actor. But it should not be linked with the appearance of a TV character he once played back in the fifties. When Ranger Walker was visited by the ghost of bounty hunter Josh Randall a few years back in celebration of CBS TV's fiftieth anniversary, we were able to splain it away rather than let it become a Zonk.
Walker had been dreaming the encounter with the ghost of the real Josh Randall, not with the actor who portrayed him on TV. Walker must have been reading something on Randall's life and then nodded off at his desk.
So even if Josh Randall and Steve McQueen are two separate people in the TV Landscape, Randall was only the stuff dreams are made of. But McQueen? He's the boogieman, baby!
('Walker, Texas Ranger' & 'Wanted: Dead Or Alive') Plus:
The Donnas performed in San Francisco.
('Charmed')
The Black-Eyed Peas did Ed a favor in 'Las Vegas'.
Stephanie Beacham (ex-Sable, "Dynasty" and "The Colbys") will appear as herself on 'The Bold and the Beautiful' in November.
LA TRIVIATA
An empty city street is steadily filled with a procession of characters from film and real life, beginning with an armor-clad gladiator. He is joined by a cast of thousands including Little Orphan Annie, a father recording his son's first bike ride, and a fearsome but well-behaved creature from Alien. All and sundry, of course, converge on a leafy street and ultimately in the living room of a media-savvy family.
('Digital Joy' - Intel's Pentium 4 technology and Microsoft's Windows XP Media Center)
Dr. Gregory House practices medicine at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Trenton, New Jersey.
('House')
The song that Charlie Pace wrote, and which became a big hit for the band Driveshaft, - "You All Everybody" - was inspired by a comment by made by an audience member on an episode of Maury Povich's "talk" show.
('Lost')
REALI-TV
Just in case you're still not sure of 'Jack & Bobby' 's political sympathies, each episode begins with a montage of 20th-century presidents in their youth: [Franklin] Roosevelt, JFK, etc., but it all stops at Clinton.
This being Hollywood, evidently that's the last president the producers can bear to think about. The argument could be made that in an election year, they didn't want to influence the race. But I'll bet that if Kerry wins, his adolescent mug will be added to the lineup. Don't count on Bush's making it, though, if he's reelected.
— Catherine Seipp is a writer in California who publishes the weblog Cathy's World. She is an NRO contributor.
UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
The forensics team in Boston worked under deadline to prove that a man being held in custody for a possible drug bust might in fact be a long-sought serial killer.
They figured out that he struck only during the phases of a "Blue Moon", the second full moon in a month's period, which only happens every couple of years.
But the readout on Nigel's computer placed the date as November 1st of this year, and there was no "Blue Moon" at that time. The last "Blue Moon" was back in July, and the last full moon before that episode was on the 27th of October. There wouldn't be another one until the end of November.
But it's just another example that Toobworld is NOT the Real World, and we shouldn't be expecting events that transpire on TV to accurately reflect what happens here at home.
('Crossing Jordan')
Full Moons in 2004
January 7th Full Wolf Moon 10:40 am
February 6th Full Snow Moon 3:47 am
March 6th Full Worm Moon 6:14 pm
April 5th Full Pink Moon 6:03 am
May 4th Full Flower Moon 3:33 pm
June 2nd Full Strawberry Moon 11:20 pm
July 2nd Full Buck Moon 6:09 am
July 31st Full Sturgeon Moon 1:05 pm
August 29th Full Fruit/Barley Moon 9:23 pm
September 28th Full Harvest Moon 8:09 am
October 27th Full Hunter's Moon 10:07 pm
November 26th Full Beaver Moon 3:07 pm
December 26th Full Cold Moon 10:06 am
CRITIC'S CORNER
From the TV Chat in the Washington Post:
West Coaster: I'm shocked there isn't more outrage that we on the West Coast got an edited (no lip-synch) version of the Ashlee snafu. One of the biggest TV moments of the year, and we missed out -- thank God for the Internet. So I'm wondering if SNL snips skits for the West Coast when other things go awry, and isn't part of being "live" showing everything, warts and all?
Lisa de Moraes: Yes, there are SO many questions for Lorne Michaels, who has been very very quiet. It's outrageous that they edited out the vocal track for the West Coast feed of last week's 'SNL' so that it would look to viewers as if Simpson had become flustered because her "band" started to play the wrong song, instead of the truth, which is that she came unglued because she'd been caught in the act of lip syncing. Shame on 'SNL' and Michaels for doing that...
HALL OF FAME
Hall member Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, added to his roster on the last Friday before the presidential election, by appearing on CNN and debating with Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson. The two debate antagonists had already been caught off-guard once earlier in the month by Jon Stewart of 'The Daily Show' who took them to task for the way they conducted their program, so they might have figured that they would fare better against a puppet.
Boy, were they wrong! Triumph got off the best line: "Jon Stewart made you hees beetch!"
('Crossfire')
In case anyone was interested in who the other 'Trek' inductees have been up to this point, here's the rundown of the year so far:
January - Captain James T. Kirk
February - Lt. Uhura
March - Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
April - Commander Montgomery Scott
May - Yeoman Janice Rand
June - Zephraim Cochrane
Birthday Honors - The Cast Of The Original 'Star Trek':
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Nichelle Nichole, Walter Koenig, Majel Barrett, Grace Lee Whitney
July - Ensign Pavel Chekov
August - Helmsman Hikaru Sulu
September - Gene Roddenberry
October - The Tribbles
November - Ambassador Sarek
Well, that's it for another week. Please stay tuned!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Don't try to get in my head.
You won't like the mess.
Alan Shore
'Boston Legal'
You won't like the mess.
Alan Shore
'Boston Legal'
The Crossover of the Week is between the CBS soap opera 'As The World Turns' and a commercial for Tyson chicken products. We wrote about it yesterday and gave it its own entry in the blog.
This way, we can devote more space to a TV event that's helping to flesh out the TV Universe......
THE GREAT LINK
As part of a plan to link UPN's 'Star Trek: Enterprise' more closely with the original 'Trek' series -- 'Enterprise' is prequel to the 1960s cult favorite -- the current series launched a mini-arc that features characters and actors from across the whole history of the science-fiction franchise.
"Borderland," was the first of three episodes guest-starring Brent Spiner. He played the android Data on the first 'Trek' sequel series, 'Star Trek: The Next Generation,' and in several 'Star Trek' feature films, most recently 'Nemesis' in 2002.
From TV Guide:
“Brent Spinder begins a three-episode stint as an unsavory geneticist with ties to Data, his Star Trek The Next Generation character. In keeping with Trek continuity, Spiner’s Arik Soong is an ancestor of Data’s inventor, Noonien Soong.
But Arik is a far more menacing figure. He’s in prison for creating “augments,” physically and intellectually enhanced humanoids first developed during the Eugenics Wars (remember Khan?). Here, Archer tries to avert bloodshed by enlisting Arik’s aid in locating the mutant-eers (led by Alec Newman), who have seized a Klingon vessel."
Soong created Khan-like superhumans 20 years prior to the events of this episode by defrosting a bunch of genetically engineered embryos from the late 20th century and raising them as his own. Ten years later, Soong was captured, tried and imprisoned - but they never found his “kids” until now.
Obviously, the Soong family is particularly enamored of Khan Noonien Singh, as Arik Soong's grandson will name his own child after the genetically enhanced dictator - Noonian Soong.
('Enterprise' & 'Star Trek' & 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' & 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine')
HISTORY, CHANNELLED
The show is sticking to the continuity of the orginal Kirk-Spock-McCoy series, which established that Khan ruled and enslaved a good chunk of Earth between 1992 and 1996.
In our world, the alternate version was that of the ethnic cleansing in the Baltic states and the horrors of Somalia.
('Enterprise' & 'Star Trek')
MISSING LINK
There are three new ads for the California Milk Advisory Board, which continue the "Happy Cows" storyline.
This time around, the cows play a prank on a farmer, try to avoid the shade cast by the single cloud in the sky, and lose interest halfway through a hotly contested foot race.
They are no ordinary cows, but bovines with brains. And although they do not walk upright and wear clothes like humans, they may still be related to the cows that were given an evolutionary boost by a meteor's radiation in 'Cows'.
'Cows' was the failed pilot for a comedy series in the UK, created by comedian and actor Eddie Izzard. If it could be compared to anything, I'd have to use 'Dinosaurs!' as the example since it would have shown the foibles of the human race as seen through the lives of these intelligent, humanoid, happy cows.
('Happy Cows' & 'Cows')
ZONK
From The West Wing Continuity Guide:
"If Bartlet's granddaughter, Annie was 12 six years ago during the pilot of the series, how can she be starting high school the week before The Birnam Wood takes place?"
Tristan Weir emailed us to point this out. We do not have an explanation. Are we to think she has been held back in school or has she been so sick she couldn't keep up with her grade level or is she and or us in some kind of time warp?
Maybe he was so concentrated on getting these people together that Bartlet misspoke and meant to say, "Annie started her last year of high school last week" and he just left out the words "her last year of".
The West Wing Continuity Guide is at:
http://westwing.bewarne.com/default.html
SPLAININ TO DO
Edwin Poole of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt grew up watching Perry Mason. In fact, Perry came to him in a dream to tell him that he should take a murder case pro bono.
Edwin Poole may have been fried mentally (He came to work one morning wearing no pants, no underwear.), but his craziness wasn't presenting him with visions of a TV show that should have been part of the reality in the same universe where he resided.
Poole said he grew up watching Perry Mason. Mason was a very famous lawyer; his exploits in the criminal justice system in Los Angeles were the stuff of legend. He probably appeared often in the newspapers and on early local TV out there.
Nothing so far suggests that Edwin Poole could not have been raised in Los Angeles; maybe he moved to Boston after law school. [He wouldn't have been the first - several of the lawyers in the firm of Cage & Fish were not originally from Beantown. ('Ally McBeal')] So that's probably what he meant when he said he grew up watching Perry Mason. It had nothing to do with any television show.
As to him saying that Perry came to him in a dream..... Well, the guy is nuts, remember.
('Boston Legal' & 'Perry Mason')
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Ford’s retro-hip 2005 Mustang debuted in a new commercial this past week. And it resurrected the late icon Steve McQueen in a fashion that's reminiscent of "Field Of Dreams".
“If you build it, he will come,” whispers the voice from Beyond to a corn farmer in Chilliwack, British Columbia. He then carves a racetrack into the crops and pulls the Mustang up to the starting line.
And then McQueen, who famously drove a Mustang in 1968’s "Bullitt", swaggers onto the racetrack to take a spin. The blipvert concludes with a tagline that fits both man and machine; “The legend lives.”
('2005 Mustang')
Apparently, in the TV Universe this would actually be the ghost of the late actor. But it should not be linked with the appearance of a TV character he once played back in the fifties. When Ranger Walker was visited by the ghost of bounty hunter Josh Randall a few years back in celebration of CBS TV's fiftieth anniversary, we were able to splain it away rather than let it become a Zonk.
Walker had been dreaming the encounter with the ghost of the real Josh Randall, not with the actor who portrayed him on TV. Walker must have been reading something on Randall's life and then nodded off at his desk.
So even if Josh Randall and Steve McQueen are two separate people in the TV Landscape, Randall was only the stuff dreams are made of. But McQueen? He's the boogieman, baby!
('Walker, Texas Ranger' & 'Wanted: Dead Or Alive') Plus:
The Donnas performed in San Francisco.
('Charmed')
The Black-Eyed Peas did Ed a favor in 'Las Vegas'.
Stephanie Beacham (ex-Sable, "Dynasty" and "The Colbys") will appear as herself on 'The Bold and the Beautiful' in November.
LA TRIVIATA
An empty city street is steadily filled with a procession of characters from film and real life, beginning with an armor-clad gladiator. He is joined by a cast of thousands including Little Orphan Annie, a father recording his son's first bike ride, and a fearsome but well-behaved creature from Alien. All and sundry, of course, converge on a leafy street and ultimately in the living room of a media-savvy family.
('Digital Joy' - Intel's Pentium 4 technology and Microsoft's Windows XP Media Center)
Dr. Gregory House practices medicine at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in Trenton, New Jersey.
('House')
The song that Charlie Pace wrote, and which became a big hit for the band Driveshaft, - "You All Everybody" - was inspired by a comment by made by an audience member on an episode of Maury Povich's "talk" show.
('Lost')
REALI-TV
Just in case you're still not sure of 'Jack & Bobby' 's political sympathies, each episode begins with a montage of 20th-century presidents in their youth: [Franklin] Roosevelt, JFK, etc., but it all stops at Clinton.
This being Hollywood, evidently that's the last president the producers can bear to think about. The argument could be made that in an election year, they didn't want to influence the race. But I'll bet that if Kerry wins, his adolescent mug will be added to the lineup. Don't count on Bush's making it, though, if he's reelected.
— Catherine Seipp is a writer in California who publishes the weblog Cathy's World. She is an NRO contributor.
UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
The forensics team in Boston worked under deadline to prove that a man being held in custody for a possible drug bust might in fact be a long-sought serial killer.
They figured out that he struck only during the phases of a "Blue Moon", the second full moon in a month's period, which only happens every couple of years.
But the readout on Nigel's computer placed the date as November 1st of this year, and there was no "Blue Moon" at that time. The last "Blue Moon" was back in July, and the last full moon before that episode was on the 27th of October. There wouldn't be another one until the end of November.
But it's just another example that Toobworld is NOT the Real World, and we shouldn't be expecting events that transpire on TV to accurately reflect what happens here at home.
('Crossing Jordan')
Full Moons in 2004
January 7th Full Wolf Moon 10:40 am
February 6th Full Snow Moon 3:47 am
March 6th Full Worm Moon 6:14 pm
April 5th Full Pink Moon 6:03 am
May 4th Full Flower Moon 3:33 pm
June 2nd Full Strawberry Moon 11:20 pm
July 2nd Full Buck Moon 6:09 am
July 31st Full Sturgeon Moon 1:05 pm
August 29th Full Fruit/Barley Moon 9:23 pm
September 28th Full Harvest Moon 8:09 am
October 27th Full Hunter's Moon 10:07 pm
November 26th Full Beaver Moon 3:07 pm
December 26th Full Cold Moon 10:06 am
CRITIC'S CORNER
From the TV Chat in the Washington Post:
West Coaster: I'm shocked there isn't more outrage that we on the West Coast got an edited (no lip-synch) version of the Ashlee snafu. One of the biggest TV moments of the year, and we missed out -- thank God for the Internet. So I'm wondering if SNL snips skits for the West Coast when other things go awry, and isn't part of being "live" showing everything, warts and all?
Lisa de Moraes: Yes, there are SO many questions for Lorne Michaels, who has been very very quiet. It's outrageous that they edited out the vocal track for the West Coast feed of last week's 'SNL' so that it would look to viewers as if Simpson had become flustered because her "band" started to play the wrong song, instead of the truth, which is that she came unglued because she'd been caught in the act of lip syncing. Shame on 'SNL' and Michaels for doing that...
HALL OF FAME
Hall member Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, added to his roster on the last Friday before the presidential election, by appearing on CNN and debating with Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson. The two debate antagonists had already been caught off-guard once earlier in the month by Jon Stewart of 'The Daily Show' who took them to task for the way they conducted their program, so they might have figured that they would fare better against a puppet.
Boy, were they wrong! Triumph got off the best line: "Jon Stewart made you hees beetch!"
('Crossfire')
In case anyone was interested in who the other 'Trek' inductees have been up to this point, here's the rundown of the year so far:
January - Captain James T. Kirk
February - Lt. Uhura
March - Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
April - Commander Montgomery Scott
May - Yeoman Janice Rand
June - Zephraim Cochrane
Birthday Honors - The Cast Of The Original 'Star Trek':
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Nichelle Nichole, Walter Koenig, Majel Barrett, Grace Lee Whitney
July - Ensign Pavel Chekov
August - Helmsman Hikaru Sulu
September - Gene Roddenberry
October - The Tribbles
November - Ambassador Sarek
Well, that's it for another week. Please stay tuned!
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Saturday, November 6, 2004
BUZZKILL
A TOOBWORLD THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY
In a Bacardi commercial, two flies are sitting in the park; human-sized insects with human faces. The older of the two laments that he has nothing to show for his long life (24 hours), and he wants the younger one to go for the gusto before it's too late.
The old fly kicks the bucket and the Young Buzz flies off to sow his wild oats. He parties at a rooftop disco; he plays blackjack at a casino; he gets chased around a kitchen and swatted on the rump by a seductive temptress wearing a skimpy French maid's uniform; and then he picks up two party girls and flies them off to a hotel suite.
While hanging from the ceiling to watch them have a pillow fight in their negligees, the fly finally expires.
The moral of the story? "Live Life like you mean it."
It's a funny blipvert, utilizing "quantoon physics" for its 30-second storyline. But as outlandish as it may look, that man-fly is firmly rooted in the TV Landscape.
At some point before September 1990, slightly mad scientist Fred Edison transformed his brother-in-law Harry Orkin into a humanoid fly. Harry made the best of his situation, but it was especially troubling for his wife Idella. The hausfrau couldn't... "hug" her housefly hubbie without squashing him like the bug that he was.
Eventually, the lack of conjugal comforts would have afflicted Flyboy as well. And since he couldn't get no satisfaction from a human female because of his diminutive size, Harry must have turned to the only logical alternative - a female fly.
And, inevitably, there would have been a bunch of flybabies.
Although his genetic spunk would have been tainted by elements of Musca domestica, it was still human DNA. Being more advanced on the evolutionary scale, it would have probably been dominant over the fly genomes when producing progeny.
(Hey, don't quibble with the technobabble unless you've been able to transform a human into a fly!)
Therefore, it's possible that the progeny from the union of man-fly and fly would look for the most part like a fly, but with the TV-traditional human face and human intelligence. And perhaps even the size of human once fully grown.
Unfortunately, it would have been fully grown in the space of a few hours, cursed with the fly's 24 hour lifespan. And so it would be, down through the countless generations of descendants, perhaps even crossbreeding with that Spanish man-fly I've seen in some Telemundo comedy show.
But it looks as though the next generation has taken steps to reverse that trend and to bring a fresh influx of human DNA into the sap of the family tree. We may not have seen it actually transpire during that Bacardi blipvert, but my guess is that Flyboy fu-# boinked each of his bosomy buddies.
If there are children (and don't it always seem to go?), they would begin the evolutionary march back to a more humanoid appearance. But they would also possess mutant abilities unforeseen.
We'll just have to wait and see what kind of Eugenic super-kids we'll get in TV Land in about ten years.....
LOU GRANT: You know what? You've got spunk.
MARY RICHARDS: Well.....
LOU GRANT: I HATE SPUNK!
('The Mary Tyler Moore Show')
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
In a Bacardi commercial, two flies are sitting in the park; human-sized insects with human faces. The older of the two laments that he has nothing to show for his long life (24 hours), and he wants the younger one to go for the gusto before it's too late.
The old fly kicks the bucket and the Young Buzz flies off to sow his wild oats. He parties at a rooftop disco; he plays blackjack at a casino; he gets chased around a kitchen and swatted on the rump by a seductive temptress wearing a skimpy French maid's uniform; and then he picks up two party girls and flies them off to a hotel suite.
While hanging from the ceiling to watch them have a pillow fight in their negligees, the fly finally expires.
The moral of the story? "Live Life like you mean it."
It's a funny blipvert, utilizing "quantoon physics" for its 30-second storyline. But as outlandish as it may look, that man-fly is firmly rooted in the TV Landscape.
At some point before September 1990, slightly mad scientist Fred Edison transformed his brother-in-law Harry Orkin into a humanoid fly. Harry made the best of his situation, but it was especially troubling for his wife Idella. The hausfrau couldn't... "hug" her housefly hubbie without squashing him like the bug that he was.
Eventually, the lack of conjugal comforts would have afflicted Flyboy as well. And since he couldn't get no satisfaction from a human female because of his diminutive size, Harry must have turned to the only logical alternative - a female fly.
And, inevitably, there would have been a bunch of flybabies.
Although his genetic spunk would have been tainted by elements of Musca domestica, it was still human DNA. Being more advanced on the evolutionary scale, it would have probably been dominant over the fly genomes when producing progeny.
(Hey, don't quibble with the technobabble unless you've been able to transform a human into a fly!)
Therefore, it's possible that the progeny from the union of man-fly and fly would look for the most part like a fly, but with the TV-traditional human face and human intelligence. And perhaps even the size of human once fully grown.
Unfortunately, it would have been fully grown in the space of a few hours, cursed with the fly's 24 hour lifespan. And so it would be, down through the countless generations of descendants, perhaps even crossbreeding with that Spanish man-fly I've seen in some Telemundo comedy show.
But it looks as though the next generation has taken steps to reverse that trend and to bring a fresh influx of human DNA into the sap of the family tree. We may not have seen it actually transpire during that Bacardi blipvert, but my guess is that Flyboy fu-# boinked each of his bosomy buddies.
If there are children (and don't it always seem to go?), they would begin the evolutionary march back to a more humanoid appearance. But they would also possess mutant abilities unforeseen.
We'll just have to wait and see what kind of Eugenic super-kids we'll get in TV Land in about ten years.....
LOU GRANT: You know what? You've got spunk.
MARY RICHARDS: Well.....
LOU GRANT: I HATE SPUNK!
('The Mary Tyler Moore Show')
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
A NUGGET OF A CROSSOVER!
THE TV CROSSOVER OF THE WEEK
Barbara Ryan has drugged cops, hired a hitman, and even pulled off a triple-play kidnapping. She's got five ex-husbands (probably the norm in most soap operas) and more lovers than she can keep track of.
Is it any wonder then that her son was institutionalized for murder? Like mother, like son.
But at least he can be assured of getting Tyson Chicken Nuggets while in prison!
Tyson has been a time-saver for Barbara Ryan. What with surviving explosions and other soap opera dilemmas, it's a wonder Barbara has had time to eat dinner, let alone make it.
As played by Colleen Zenk Pinter, Barbara Ryan has been appearing in a series of Tyson commercials which are only seen on CBS. And back in October, the product was integrated into the storyline on 'Ast The World Turns' when Barbara's son was served Tyson's nuggets while in jail.
My thanks to TV Guide's "The Insider" for bringing this to our attention.
('As The World Turns' & Tyson ads)
Barbara Ryan has drugged cops, hired a hitman, and even pulled off a triple-play kidnapping. She's got five ex-husbands (probably the norm in most soap operas) and more lovers than she can keep track of.
Is it any wonder then that her son was institutionalized for murder? Like mother, like son.
But at least he can be assured of getting Tyson Chicken Nuggets while in prison!
Tyson has been a time-saver for Barbara Ryan. What with surviving explosions and other soap opera dilemmas, it's a wonder Barbara has had time to eat dinner, let alone make it.
As played by Colleen Zenk Pinter, Barbara Ryan has been appearing in a series of Tyson commercials which are only seen on CBS. And back in October, the product was integrated into the storyline on 'Ast The World Turns' when Barbara's son was served Tyson's nuggets while in jail.
My thanks to TV Guide's "The Insider" for bringing this to our attention.
('As The World Turns' & Tyson ads)
NICOLE SCENE FIT
So I've been thinking about the two different endings for the Nicole Wallace storyline on 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent'. The East Coast got to see the ending in which she escaped; the West Coast saw the finale where the femme fatale was finished off.
For nearly a week both endings were available for viewing at NBC's web site so that people could vote on whether or not Nicole Wallace should live or die. And after the votes were tallied, it was decided she would be back to bedevil Detectives Goren and Eames another day. So in the official canon and timeline of Toobworld, her heart - or lack thereof - will go on.
However.....The most basic tenet of Toobworld is that if it's broadcast, it's part and parcel of the TV Universe. Both endings were broadcast, so who could they both be part of the same TV Universe?
Easy. Same universe; different dimension.
We can thank 'Sliders', one of the Toobworld essentials, for the escape clause. What the West Coasters witnessed was the alternate version that played out in a parallel dimension. Perhaps it was the 'West Wing' World, so they can be assured that Nicole Wallace will never be a threat to President Jed Bartlet.
Or it could be the evil mirror universe made famous by the 'Star Trek' franchise (and "prequelled" in an episode of "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys"). Now, one might think an evil universe might be the place where such a vile character (Nicole was a child-killer!) might flourish. But as every life has a ripple effect in others, perhaps Nicole's death better served Satan's purpose by removing that influence.
But there is yet another theory to splain away both versions of Nicole Wallace's fate; one that would technically keep them both in the same dimension.
We know that the ultimate decision was for her to live. Perhaps originally she did indeed die as seen by the people on the East Coast, but something cosmic intervened to go back in time and change history.
In the version in which she died, Detective Eames shot Nicole twice in the chest. (The pathologist even congratulated her on her shooting skills.)
But what if somebody from the future did a bit of quantum leaping and entered Eames' life; making the choice to miss her target? Somebody with a holographic partner armed with a "Ziggy" computer which worked out the analysis and knew that everything would be better off, surprisingly, if Nicole lived. Once their places were traded back, and the visitor from the future (maybe Sam Beckett, maybe not) leapt out, Alexandra Eames would have not remembered what had transpired.
Well, as Mushrat used to say to Deputy Dawg, "It's pozz'ble, it's pozz'ble."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
For nearly a week both endings were available for viewing at NBC's web site so that people could vote on whether or not Nicole Wallace should live or die. And after the votes were tallied, it was decided she would be back to bedevil Detectives Goren and Eames another day. So in the official canon and timeline of Toobworld, her heart - or lack thereof - will go on.
However.....The most basic tenet of Toobworld is that if it's broadcast, it's part and parcel of the TV Universe. Both endings were broadcast, so who could they both be part of the same TV Universe?
Easy. Same universe; different dimension.
We can thank 'Sliders', one of the Toobworld essentials, for the escape clause. What the West Coasters witnessed was the alternate version that played out in a parallel dimension. Perhaps it was the 'West Wing' World, so they can be assured that Nicole Wallace will never be a threat to President Jed Bartlet.
Or it could be the evil mirror universe made famous by the 'Star Trek' franchise (and "prequelled" in an episode of "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys"). Now, one might think an evil universe might be the place where such a vile character (Nicole was a child-killer!) might flourish. But as every life has a ripple effect in others, perhaps Nicole's death better served Satan's purpose by removing that influence.
But there is yet another theory to splain away both versions of Nicole Wallace's fate; one that would technically keep them both in the same dimension.
We know that the ultimate decision was for her to live. Perhaps originally she did indeed die as seen by the people on the East Coast, but something cosmic intervened to go back in time and change history.
In the version in which she died, Detective Eames shot Nicole twice in the chest. (The pathologist even congratulated her on her shooting skills.)
But what if somebody from the future did a bit of quantum leaping and entered Eames' life; making the choice to miss her target? Somebody with a holographic partner armed with a "Ziggy" computer which worked out the analysis and knew that everything would be better off, surprisingly, if Nicole lived. Once their places were traded back, and the visitor from the future (maybe Sam Beckett, maybe not) leapt out, Alexandra Eames would have not remembered what had transpired.
Well, as Mushrat used to say to Deputy Dawg, "It's pozz'ble, it's pozz'ble."
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Thursday, November 4, 2004
SUSTAINING AN ELECTION
Now that the election is over here in the Real World and George W. Bush has been elected President for the first time, let's turn our attention to presidential politics in the world of 'The West Wing'.
Executive Producer John Wells has said that no decision has been made as to who the next President will be to succeed Jed Bartlet. But it will be the driving force of the plotlines for the next year (and hopefully longer) on the show.
The two main combatants will be Texan Congressman/Mayor Matthew Santos (Dem.) and Senator Arnold Vinick (Rep.). Santos was set on retiring from Congress - probably before the Texan Republicans hunted him down for sport! - but a chance conversation made him consider the possibility of running.
As for Vinick, he's a four-term senator who had been long expected to make a run for the highest office in the land.
And then there's a third option, the one that should have been considered as "traditional" - Vice President "Bingo" Bob Russell. I'm not sure he has much support outisde of his own Chief of Staff, Will Bailey. And even there, doubts have begun to take root.
So it'll be interesting to see where the various campaigns take us as viewers.
It'll certainly be a welcome diversion from thinking about the current state of affairs in our own world.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Executive Producer John Wells has said that no decision has been made as to who the next President will be to succeed Jed Bartlet. But it will be the driving force of the plotlines for the next year (and hopefully longer) on the show.
The two main combatants will be Texan Congressman/Mayor Matthew Santos (Dem.) and Senator Arnold Vinick (Rep.). Santos was set on retiring from Congress - probably before the Texan Republicans hunted him down for sport! - but a chance conversation made him consider the possibility of running.
As for Vinick, he's a four-term senator who had been long expected to make a run for the highest office in the land.
And then there's a third option, the one that should have been considered as "traditional" - Vice President "Bingo" Bob Russell. I'm not sure he has much support outisde of his own Chief of Staff, Will Bailey. And even there, doubts have begun to take root.
So it'll be interesting to see where the various campaigns take us as viewers.
It'll certainly be a welcome diversion from thinking about the current state of affairs in our own world.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Tuesday, November 2, 2004
RED SOX [TV] NATION
A wise man named Wayne* once said, with regard to baseball:
What an amazing sport with a subtext that reflects a combination of real life, fairy tales (in the lightest and darkest of senses), mythology, filled with tales of redemption, retribution and the always present sense of unlimited possibilities.
He was talking about the Yankee win in the 2003 ALCS, but it better suits the 2004 season of the Boston Red Sox.
Here was a team that overcame being 3 games down against the Yanks to win the next four games to win the playoffs - Something that had never been done before! - to then go on and sweep the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals.
The astounding story of the Bosox would make for a great tale of fantasy: a band of warriors up against a Ghost, a Curse, and an Evil Empire to the South. One of the players might have found his strength in the length of his hair like Samson; another beat the odds against a grievous foot injury better than Achilles ever could. And the final battle was played out in the shadow of the Great Arch under a total lunar eclipse.....
An account of this season has been chronicled by fan Stephen King the best-selling author of horror fiction, but perhaps W.P. Kinsella, well-known for his baseball fantasies, ought to give their mythic moments his flourish.
Baseball has been the basis for several fantasy movies - "Angels In The Outfield", "Damn Yankees", and "Field Of Dreams" (based on Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe"), although the story of the 2004 Red Sox may be more in keeping with the magic realism of "The Natural". But the reality of the Sox success is now entwined in the magic of the movies, thanks to the Farrelly Brothers. As it became evident that the Bosox just might pull off a miracle after all, the filmmakers (responsible for such movies as "There's Something About Mary" and "Stuck On You") had to quickly rewrite the ending for "Fever Pitch", their movie about a rabid Red Sox fan and the woman who loves him.
And that's why you saw Jimmy Fallon in a lip-lock with Drew Barrymore in the center of the celebrations on the infield after Game Four.
But "Fever Pitch" won't be telling the Bosox Story. For that they would need to make a mini-series! Only with a story spun out over successive evenings could the full glory of this season be told.
That way, all the angles could be played - the hiring of Terry Francona, the trade of Nomar, and the visit by fans to the grave of Babe Ruth. All of the players would get their showcase moments dramatized - David Ortiz and his game winning blasts, the chance for Johnny Damon to finally shine, the agony and the ecstasy surrounding Curt Schilling's ankle, and the pathetic bitch-slap by A-Rod.
Even the darkest shadow on their quest must be recounted - the tragic death of Victoria Snelgrave, the fan who was fatally shot through the eye by a police pepper spray bullet.
As to who should play the players - I'll leave that up to casting experts like Lin Stalmaster or Mary Jo Slater. There must be plenty of unknowns out there with passing resemblance to Pedro, Manny, and Baby Face Epstein. Just so long as they let Wally The Green Monster play himself.......
Maybe there will never be a mini-series based on the first Red Sox championship since 1918, so let's give another option a chance to make the play at the plate while a third idea warms up in the bullpen. (There's no analogy or metaphor I won't take a swing at!)
I have to figure David E. Kelley will write an episode that weaves the World Series into his own series, 'Boston Legal' on ABC. He must love the town - three of his series were set in Beantown ('Legal', 'Boston Public', and 'Ally MacBeal'). And since he relies so heavily on quirky courtroom cases, having James Spader as Alan defending Ted Williams' frozen head would be a Shore thing!
Well... maybe dealing with the Sox legend's noggin should be left to Jordan Cavanaugh, the Boston medical examiner of 'Crossing Jordan' over on NBC. And what better place to showcase a storyline about the Red Sox than in an episode of 'Clubhouse' on CBS? You could even get a few players - like Trot Nixon and Bronson Arroyo; even the principal owner, John Henry - to play themselves.
If this was a perfect TV Universe, that mini-series idea would also be an opportunity to revisit some old friends from long-ago shows. The most obvious choice would be Sam Malone - wouldn't he have been invited to join the victory parade through the streets of Boston as did other past Sox players like Yaz and Pesky? If it had been still on the air, 'Cheers' could have even rushed out a quick opening for an episode; in which Norm and Cliff and Carla are standing outside the bar and watching the parade pass them by.
Calista Flockhart as 'Allie MacBeal', Avery Brooks as Hawk ('Spenser: For Hire'), Mariette Hartley as Jennifer Barnes ('Goodnight, Beantown'), Chi McBride as Principal Harper ('Boston Public'), and even coverage by the guys on 'SportsNight'... these are just a few of the fictional cameos that could proudly grace the parade route.
And they could even take the opportunity to explore the secret labyrinth of passageways beneath Fenway Park, which were revealed in an episode of 'Relic Hunter'!
At the very least, I'm sure there are plenty of big name stars who are Bosox boosters (Matt Damon, Matthew Perry, Lenny Clarke, and Seth Myers), and who would be more than happy to lend their faces to such a project, either as one of that bunch of Idiots (Ben Affleck as Varitek?), or as themselves. (Is Denis Leary a fan?)
Music could be provided by Aerosmith, the Cars, and the J. Geils Band. And Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore could even recreate their movie moment yet again to twist all of the parallel dimensions into a pretzel!
And depending on how today's election turns out, perhaps a scene could be written which would utilize either fan and candidate John Kerry, or Curt Schilling out on the stump for Bush.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
*I know Wayne's wise. He married Marsha. (It's an Iddiot thang.)
What an amazing sport with a subtext that reflects a combination of real life, fairy tales (in the lightest and darkest of senses), mythology, filled with tales of redemption, retribution and the always present sense of unlimited possibilities.
He was talking about the Yankee win in the 2003 ALCS, but it better suits the 2004 season of the Boston Red Sox.
Here was a team that overcame being 3 games down against the Yanks to win the next four games to win the playoffs - Something that had never been done before! - to then go on and sweep the World Series against the St. Louis Cardinals.
The astounding story of the Bosox would make for a great tale of fantasy: a band of warriors up against a Ghost, a Curse, and an Evil Empire to the South. One of the players might have found his strength in the length of his hair like Samson; another beat the odds against a grievous foot injury better than Achilles ever could. And the final battle was played out in the shadow of the Great Arch under a total lunar eclipse.....
An account of this season has been chronicled by fan Stephen King the best-selling author of horror fiction, but perhaps W.P. Kinsella, well-known for his baseball fantasies, ought to give their mythic moments his flourish.
Baseball has been the basis for several fantasy movies - "Angels In The Outfield", "Damn Yankees", and "Field Of Dreams" (based on Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe"), although the story of the 2004 Red Sox may be more in keeping with the magic realism of "The Natural". But the reality of the Sox success is now entwined in the magic of the movies, thanks to the Farrelly Brothers. As it became evident that the Bosox just might pull off a miracle after all, the filmmakers (responsible for such movies as "There's Something About Mary" and "Stuck On You") had to quickly rewrite the ending for "Fever Pitch", their movie about a rabid Red Sox fan and the woman who loves him.
And that's why you saw Jimmy Fallon in a lip-lock with Drew Barrymore in the center of the celebrations on the infield after Game Four.
But "Fever Pitch" won't be telling the Bosox Story. For that they would need to make a mini-series! Only with a story spun out over successive evenings could the full glory of this season be told.
That way, all the angles could be played - the hiring of Terry Francona, the trade of Nomar, and the visit by fans to the grave of Babe Ruth. All of the players would get their showcase moments dramatized - David Ortiz and his game winning blasts, the chance for Johnny Damon to finally shine, the agony and the ecstasy surrounding Curt Schilling's ankle, and the pathetic bitch-slap by A-Rod.
Even the darkest shadow on their quest must be recounted - the tragic death of Victoria Snelgrave, the fan who was fatally shot through the eye by a police pepper spray bullet.
As to who should play the players - I'll leave that up to casting experts like Lin Stalmaster or Mary Jo Slater. There must be plenty of unknowns out there with passing resemblance to Pedro, Manny, and Baby Face Epstein. Just so long as they let Wally The Green Monster play himself.......
Maybe there will never be a mini-series based on the first Red Sox championship since 1918, so let's give another option a chance to make the play at the plate while a third idea warms up in the bullpen. (There's no analogy or metaphor I won't take a swing at!)
I have to figure David E. Kelley will write an episode that weaves the World Series into his own series, 'Boston Legal' on ABC. He must love the town - three of his series were set in Beantown ('Legal', 'Boston Public', and 'Ally MacBeal'). And since he relies so heavily on quirky courtroom cases, having James Spader as Alan defending Ted Williams' frozen head would be a Shore thing!
Well... maybe dealing with the Sox legend's noggin should be left to Jordan Cavanaugh, the Boston medical examiner of 'Crossing Jordan' over on NBC. And what better place to showcase a storyline about the Red Sox than in an episode of 'Clubhouse' on CBS? You could even get a few players - like Trot Nixon and Bronson Arroyo; even the principal owner, John Henry - to play themselves.
If this was a perfect TV Universe, that mini-series idea would also be an opportunity to revisit some old friends from long-ago shows. The most obvious choice would be Sam Malone - wouldn't he have been invited to join the victory parade through the streets of Boston as did other past Sox players like Yaz and Pesky? If it had been still on the air, 'Cheers' could have even rushed out a quick opening for an episode; in which Norm and Cliff and Carla are standing outside the bar and watching the parade pass them by.
Calista Flockhart as 'Allie MacBeal', Avery Brooks as Hawk ('Spenser: For Hire'), Mariette Hartley as Jennifer Barnes ('Goodnight, Beantown'), Chi McBride as Principal Harper ('Boston Public'), and even coverage by the guys on 'SportsNight'... these are just a few of the fictional cameos that could proudly grace the parade route.
And they could even take the opportunity to explore the secret labyrinth of passageways beneath Fenway Park, which were revealed in an episode of 'Relic Hunter'!
At the very least, I'm sure there are plenty of big name stars who are Bosox boosters (Matt Damon, Matthew Perry, Lenny Clarke, and Seth Myers), and who would be more than happy to lend their faces to such a project, either as one of that bunch of Idiots (Ben Affleck as Varitek?), or as themselves. (Is Denis Leary a fan?)
Music could be provided by Aerosmith, the Cars, and the J. Geils Band. And Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore could even recreate their movie moment yet again to twist all of the parallel dimensions into a pretzel!
And depending on how today's election turns out, perhaps a scene could be written which would utilize either fan and candidate John Kerry, or Curt Schilling out on the stump for Bush.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
*I know Wayne's wise. He married Marsha. (It's an Iddiot thang.)
Monday, November 1, 2004
TV Crossover Hall of Fame (November 2004)
With only a day to go (as I write this) before the polls open so that we can pretend we're electing a president, naturally thoughts turn to politics even for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
In the last few years, the inductees in November have been someone connected to the great American tragedy of forty years ago last year. President and Mrs. Kennedy were inducted in 2002 as a couple in the year of the doubles; their son JFK, Jr. was inducted last year; and Walter Cronkite, whose announcement of Kennedy's death was perhaps the most memorable, was chosen in November of 2001 when he celebrated his 85th birthday.
November just has the right mien to showcase those inductees who are newsmakers in TV Land, whether real or fictional. (Or - as with the four mentioned earlier, - a combination of both.)
And even though our theme this year is 'Star Trek' (the original series), it still holds true.
There is a character in the galaxy of 'Trek' who was closely tied to the political process in the Federation of Planets. And although Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan was not a regular, he still played an integral role throughout the franchise, especially in fleshing out the dual nature of his son's character; that of Captain Spock of Starfleet.
We were first introduced to the Vulcan Ambassador on the original series, when we got to see the bonds of love between father and son (despite a communications breakdown) while they were en route to a peace conference on Babel.
Sarek revealed how much he loved his son when requesting the Vulcan High Priestess to restore Spock's katra (his soul) to his body. When it came to his son, Logic failed him. It was an admission not easy for a Vulcan to make.
He also came to the defense of the "mutinous" officers of the Enterprise before the Federation, against charges pushed by the Klingons. However, it became something of a "moot court" once Kirk & Company saved the Earth by bringing whales out of the extinct past.
We also learned that Spock was not Sarek's only son, but the only one who was half-human. Sarek had been married before to a Vulcan "princess", but his wife died in childbirth bringing Sybok into the world.
Many years later, long after his Earth-born second wife Amanda Grayson had died and he had remarried another human named Perrin, Sarek contracted Bendii's Syndrome in his old age. (The disease is something akin to a Vulcan version of Alzheimer's disease.
Thanks to the assistance of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Sarek was able to keep his sanity together long enough to mediate potentially explosive negotiations. Because of the mind-meld involved, Picard was later able to share the remnants of that link with Spock after Sarek passed away.
Sort of a cerebral Shiva.
So, with appearances on two of the 'Star Trek series and in at least three of the franchise films, Ambassador Sarek qualifies for this rather dubious "honor". It may not be as illustrious as acquiring the emblem of the IDIC, but 'twill serve.
Live Long And Prosper.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
In the last few years, the inductees in November have been someone connected to the great American tragedy of forty years ago last year. President and Mrs. Kennedy were inducted in 2002 as a couple in the year of the doubles; their son JFK, Jr. was inducted last year; and Walter Cronkite, whose announcement of Kennedy's death was perhaps the most memorable, was chosen in November of 2001 when he celebrated his 85th birthday.
November just has the right mien to showcase those inductees who are newsmakers in TV Land, whether real or fictional. (Or - as with the four mentioned earlier, - a combination of both.)
And even though our theme this year is 'Star Trek' (the original series), it still holds true.
There is a character in the galaxy of 'Trek' who was closely tied to the political process in the Federation of Planets. And although Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan was not a regular, he still played an integral role throughout the franchise, especially in fleshing out the dual nature of his son's character; that of Captain Spock of Starfleet.
We were first introduced to the Vulcan Ambassador on the original series, when we got to see the bonds of love between father and son (despite a communications breakdown) while they were en route to a peace conference on Babel.
Sarek revealed how much he loved his son when requesting the Vulcan High Priestess to restore Spock's katra (his soul) to his body. When it came to his son, Logic failed him. It was an admission not easy for a Vulcan to make.
He also came to the defense of the "mutinous" officers of the Enterprise before the Federation, against charges pushed by the Klingons. However, it became something of a "moot court" once Kirk & Company saved the Earth by bringing whales out of the extinct past.
We also learned that Spock was not Sarek's only son, but the only one who was half-human. Sarek had been married before to a Vulcan "princess", but his wife died in childbirth bringing Sybok into the world.
Many years later, long after his Earth-born second wife Amanda Grayson had died and he had remarried another human named Perrin, Sarek contracted Bendii's Syndrome in his old age. (The disease is something akin to a Vulcan version of Alzheimer's disease.
Thanks to the assistance of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Sarek was able to keep his sanity together long enough to mediate potentially explosive negotiations. Because of the mind-meld involved, Picard was later able to share the remnants of that link with Spock after Sarek passed away.
Sort of a cerebral Shiva.
So, with appearances on two of the 'Star Trek series and in at least three of the franchise films, Ambassador Sarek qualifies for this rather dubious "honor". It may not be as illustrious as acquiring the emblem of the IDIC, but 'twill serve.
Live Long And Prosper.
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
Sunday, October 31, 2004
WEEKLY ROUNDUP
It was a pretty link-loaded week, so let's get crackin'!
THE GREAT LINK
"The Office" told the story of a few people working in a British office working hard to not lose their jobs. It was shown as though it was a BBC documentary about down-sizing ordinary workers in a bland working environment.
A mockumentary about life in a mid-sized suboffice paper merchants in a bleak British industrial town, where manager David Brent thinks he's the coolest, funniest, and most popular boss ever. He isn't. That doesn't stop him from embarrassing himself in front of the cameras on a regular basis, whether from his political sermonizing, his stand-up 'comedy', or his incredibly unique dancing. Meanwhile, long-suffering Tim longs after Dawn the engaged receptionist and keeps himself sane by playing childish practical jokes on his insufferable, army-obsessed deskmate Gareth.
When the series aired the first season, they did not even know how popular it would get in future episodes. The writers at the start did not imagine that a second season would be created; and after bowing to pressure to create one, they would not do it again for a third. The show ended on a high note after two Christmas specials which tied up knots and rounded off wonderfully the first two seasons. But now we have 'The Office Special'.
Picking up three years after he was laid off from Wernham-Hogg, David Brent is barely employed as a door-to-door salesman, having blown his severance on a hellacious cover of ''If You Don't Know Me by Now'' (video included!).
The series wrapped up for good with "The Office Special," which supposes that the BBC documentary crew returned three years after its initial visit to find out how things had changed at the fictional (and relentlessly banal) Wernham Hogg paper products company in drab Slough, England.
In "The Office Special," David Brent is now selling cleaning products, having blown his severance money, which he sued to get, on a disastrously misguided recording career. And the BBC cameras are back, checking in with the office workers and studying what has happened to them in the intervening three years.
(adapted from the review by Tim Goodman, San Francisco Gate)
THE GREAT LINK II
"Once upon a time, there was a boy named John. And John was an astronaut. He lived in a far away place called Earth, which is so far away, you've never heard of it. One day, when John was out doing astronaut things, a big blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out at the far end of the universe. Things were looking grim in Mudville, till our hero met an amazing living ship, made some nice new friends, and he hooked up with his dream girl.
"We could've lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers raped, chased and tortured us for years on end. And two months ago, we got our asses shot off again. This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles, oooh! And Moya, our living ship, limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R, because, we figure, it's empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us.
"Next thing me and the future Mrs Crichton are having a private moment when you guys fly by, boom bada-bing, squiggly line, squiggly line, crystallised. And it's two months later."
- John Crichton
"Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars"
Which is about as good as you can get for a summary of the series 'Farscape', which leads us to:
'FARSCAPE: THE PEACEKEEPER WARS'
In this lavish four-hour series finale, one of the tube's richest character dramas did a dazzling job wrapping the lost-in-space odyssey of its cool cowboy astronaut.
'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' gave a strong goodbye to a show that got short shrift when Sci Fi decided in 2002 against funding the show's previously ordered fifth and final season. Which wasn't fair, since the series ended with rock-and-roll astronaut cowboy John Crichton and his pregnant alien warrior squeeze Aeryn Sun blown to crystallized bits right after agreeing to tie the knot. They simply couldn't end the series there.
At least Sci Fi was able to make amends by airing an entire-series repeat leading up to the sequel's premiere, - explaining the Crichton-Aeryn axis, the earthling's coveted knowledge of wormhole technology, the invasion of his consciousness by dastardly cyborg Scorpius, conflict between the nasty Peacekeeper race and the nastier Scarrans, and all those vibrant varied-species pals: D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel. Not to mention their living, sentient spaceship Moya.
Aeryn is pregnant in "The Peacekeeper Wars," (albeit spelled for a bit by surly surrogate Rygel), but the born-and-bred warrior insists on joining a raging skirmish during labor simply because shooting makes her feel better. I've seen 'Murphy Brown' go into labor, and the heroes could have used her warrior birth-rage in that fight as well. Probably Malcolm's mom Lois as well.
('Malcolm In The Middle')
Off-course astronaut Crichton is forever referencing TV shows, rock songs and touchstones such as the Alamo. (He calls the ghost in his head Harvey, like James Stewart's rabbit.) Even though he's a walking, talking Zonk machine, his witty swagger sets a loosey-goosey tone that keeps 'Farscape' from that bane of fantasy fiction: taking itself too seriously. This show likes proceeding off-kilter and it has plenty of opportunities for possible future sequels.
(adapted from the review by Diane Werts of New York Newsday)
THE GREAT LINK III
'Tanner On Tanner' wrapped up its four-episode return to the world of 'Tanner '88' with two great links to other TV series. And appropriately enough for a show that so wonderfully blended reality with fiction, one of those shows was a sitcom and the other was a talk show.
By showing a piece of John Kerry's great acceptance speech at the Boston convention, and by establishing that Jack Tanner had written part of it, 'Tanner On Tanner' could lay claim to kinship with 'Cheers' since Senator Kerry appeared in a quick cameo as himself on that show many years ago.
Later, Jack Tanner appeared with Charlie Rose on his public television talk show, where he dismissed the "rumor" that he had been involved with scripting anything from the speech. This was a big coup for Toobworld - a legitimate link with 'The Charlie Rose Show' without having to rely on somebody appearing who also played themselves on a scripted show. (Legit, but too easy.)
('Tanner On Tanner')
MISSING LINK
During the reunion mini-series for 'Farscape', Scarran Emperor Staleek mentioned that he found it troubling that Humans and Sebaceans could propagate together.
Later, Yondalao, the Eidolon elder, revealed to Aeryn Sun a possible splainin for why it wasn't as difficult as it might have been....
"At the dawn of our period of usefulness, 27000 cycles ago, we developed need of a guard. A race no one had quarrel with. A force to ensure harmony prevailed once negotiations had finished.
"We took great care to choose a species no one had met before. We found your kind primitive, barely clothed, far removed on the galaxy's outer spiral. Having brought some of you back, your evolution was accelerated with generous alterations, until you became our trusted acolytes."
It sounds to me as if Yondalao is referring to the primitive humans of Earth. Perhaps his people harvested an entire community of cavemen for their breeding experiment and turned them into the Peacekeepers.
If so, it could be assumed that the early Eidolons were also those known as the Preservers who seeded worlds with a variety of human cultures. And it could also be argued that if the Eidolons weren't one of the races of the First Ones like the Vorlons and the Shadows, they were at least children of the first generation.
('Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' & 'Star Trek' & 'Babylon 5')
ZONK
George Lopez fell asleep watching TV while he was wrestling with his conscience over why he had no life insurance.
While he was dreaming, he found himself in three different sitcoms which should have been part of the same universe in which he existed:
'Leave It To Beaver'
'The Munsters'
'The Jetsons'
A few days ago I posted an essay about dream zonks. Feel free to scroll back and find out more about the topic.
('The George Lopez Show')
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Less than two weeks after his sudden death, actor Christopher Reeve began appearing in a taped appeal to Californians to vote for a controversial ballot measure that would fund a decade of stem cell research.
Reeve filmed the ad shortly before his death on Oct. 10, but proponents of California's Proposition 71 decided to go forward with the campaign after consulting his family.
"Stem cells have already cured paralysis in animals," Reeve says in the TV spot. "Stem cells are the future of medicine. Please support Proposition 71 and stand up for those who can't."
~~~~~~
While traveling through Stars Hollow, Connecticut, Norman Mailer stopped into the Dragonfly Inn and was interviewed by a reporter. Lorelai and Sookie were initially thrilled when the author showed up repeatedly in the dining room, but Sookie's awe turned to annoyance when Mailer refused to order any food.
('Gilmore Girls')
~~~~~~
Yep, that was Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore making out on the field as the Red Sox celebrated their first World Series title since 1918.
The stars of the upcoming Farrelly brothers movie "Fever Pitch", about a Red Sox fan torn between the woman he loves and the team he worships, were shooting a new happy ending, which had been cobbled together furiously in the wake of Boston's historic run to the championship.
So as the rest of the players swarmed the infield at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on Wednesday night after the team's four-game sweep of the Cardinals, Fallon and Barrymore were in the middle of the madness, with the Farrellys' camera following them.
(The World Series)
~~~~~~
I'm a little late in picking up on this, but skateboard impresario Tony Hawk appeared on an episode of 'Complete Savages'. If I'm not mistaken, this puts him over the top to qualify for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
('Complete Savages')
~~~~~~~
Senator John Kerry, Charlie Rose
('Tanner On Tanner')
LA TRIVIATA
'American Goddess' is a reality show found only in the TV Universe, similar to 'Extreme Makeover' or 'The Swan'.
('Without A Trace')
The TV Universe has its own version of that old chestnut of a safe driving movie, "Blood On The Highway"; one which features "Officer Steven Cox" (who looks remarkably like Mad Max a la the Village People....)
('Complete Savages')
RE-CASTAWAYS
Jason and Barbara Reshetar of Coon Rapids, Min.., wrote to TV Guide to suggest that Gary Sinise should portray a younger version of Doctor Leonard McCoy. But I'd say Sinise is just about the right age to portray McCoy as he was in the original 'Star Trek' series; perhaps a few years before.
THE BIG HIATUS
KA D'ARGO
Ka D'Argo was a huge, bellicose Luxan — a race of fierce, much-feared warriors known throughout the galaxy for their propensity to conquer anything or anyone in their path. His first reaction to most every situation was to attack first and ask questions never.
D'Argo was framed for the murder of his Sebacean wife, Lo'Laan who was actually killed by her brother, Macton, in no small part due to the belief among many Sebaceans that a Sebacean/Luxan pairing was miscegenation, and an abomination.
D'Argo's son, Jothee, disappeared and was later found to be enslaved. Jothee was rescued and reunited with his father. Sadly, their reunion ended in tragedy when D'Argo's lover, Chiana, betrayed him by having an affair with Jothee.
D'Argo had more difficulty connecting with others than the rest of Moya's crew, although he respected Aeryn as a fellow warrior, and he considered Crichton a brother-in-arms and a trusted friend. He also had great respect for Zhaan and was deeply in love with Chiana until she betrayed him. (Any kind of good relationship between D'Argo and Rygel, however, was likely a lost cause.)
During the Peacekeeper Wars, D'Argo was speared fatally by attacking Scarrans. In a move that must have reminded John Crichton of Mickey Rooney in "Ambush Bay", Ka D'Argo chose to stay behind with enough weapons to give Crichton and Chiana and the others time to get away.
JOOLUSHKO TUNAI FENTA HOVALIS
Jool was a young Interion woman of remarkable academic accomplishment. Strikingly beautiful, with orange-and-yellow-hued skin offset by a mane of wild, silken hair, she had a fiery temper that matched her wild looks.
Raised in a peaceful star system, Jool attended a rigorous series of universities and rose through the meritocracy to earn respect and privilege. Her background, social status and intellect gave her exposure to the arts and the graces of a finer life. Jool was brilliant, but she'd never been tested in the real world. Despite her prodigious factual base, she hadn't proved her mettle in hard experience.
While on an expedition to the other side of the galaxy, her group of fellow young intellectuals was hijacked and forced into slavery. Near death, her body was sold for medical research. For 22 cycles, Jool was in frozen stasis, her organs earmarked for sale to anyone who had the money to purchase them.
However, before she could be dissected and carved up, John Crichton and the others aboard Moya rescued her.
After more than a cycle with the crew of Moya, Jool finally left to follow her own chosen destiny. With the help of Crichton, Chiana and D'Argo, she freed the priests of Arnessk from a 12,000-cycle-long state of suspended animation. As a scholar of Arnesskan history, Jool decided to stay behind with the priests to ease their transition into a vastly changed galaxy.
It was there where she met her fate as Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans ordered the temple of the Eidolons to be vaporized.
"HARVEY"
That was Crichton's name for the neuro-cyborg non-entity that may or may not have been living in his mind. It resembled Scorpius and was a constant mental irritant as it tried to worm its way into whatever part of Crichton's mind housed the knowledge of wormhole technology.
Once that knowledge was removed by the entity known as "Einstein", "Harvey" 's reason for being ended. He faded away in a scene reminiscent of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (although he preferred to go out with a bang like Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove").
WAR MINISTER AKHNA
Ding dong, the Bitch is dead.
HIERARCH YONDALAO
[THE EIDOLON GRAND CONCILIATOR]
He was blasted to death by Akhna before his powers of conciliation and peace could take hold over Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans.
GRAND CHANCELLOR OF THE PEACEKEEPERS
He was poisoned by his pregnant consort Commandant Mele-On Grayza, who did not want the Peacekeepers to even consider the option of seeking a truce with the Scarrans.
(All from 'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars')
BABY BOOM
Out of the sorrows suffered by the crew of Moya, there came some small cause for joy - John Crichton and Aeryn Sun were married and their baby was born.
It's a boy!
And in honor of their fallen comrade, they have named him "D'Argo Sun Crichton".
UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
On January 13, 1968, Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Concert was broadcast to millions of inmates across the U.S. That night, in the melee following the broadcast, an inmate was murdered and quickly disposed of in a prison outside of Philly.
Detective Lilly Rush and the 'Cold Case' team re-opened the case when human bones were found at the site of the now shuttered prison. When it turned out that the bones didn't belong to the dead inmate, the team had to begin a new search for the person who was murdered at the prison 36 years before.
The prisoner was thought to have disappeared when a riot broke out, while listening to Cash's 1968 Folsom Prison concert, and that show is referenced during several parts of the episode with eight of the songs used during the flashback sequences.
The following is the original set list of the Folsom Prison concert recorded live at Folsom Prison on January 13, 1968:
Folsom Prison Blues
I'm Busted
Dark As The Dungeon
I Still Miss Someone
Cocaine Blues
25 Minutes To Go
I'm Not In Your Town To Stay
Orange Blossom Special
The Long Black Veil
Send A Picture Of Mother
The Wall
Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog
Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
Joe Bean
Jackson (with June)
I Got A Woman (with June)
John Henry
I Got Stripes
Green, Green Grass Of Home
Greystone Chapel
l Give My Love To Rose
MULTI-VERSE MEDIA
The daughter of former Presidential contender Jack Tanner isn't the only Alex Tanner out there in the many fictional universes. Here's one from the literary universe, crime novel section, who can be found across the pond:
Alex Tanner
Created by Anabel Donald
Sometimes a journalist can be considered a private eye, and sometimes they can't...
Britain's ALEX TANNER doesn't have to worry. She's both. She's a part-time private investigator, and a part-time freelance TV researcher, with a bit more grit than the average female eye. A product of countless foster homes during her troubled childhood, she's grown up to be a determinedly self-reliant and fiercely independent loner, with a taste for hardboiled private eye fiction.
Not that she's a complete loner. Her relationship with TV producer Barty O'Neill is a total delight and great fun. Alex calls the turf of London's Notting Hill home, but the mean streets Alex goes down are a far cry from the aggressive trendiness of any recent Hugh Grant/Julia Roberts eye candy.
A well-written, engrossing series, with something to say. The pyschological development of women and the emotional issues of troubled youth are recurring themes.
NOVELS
An Uncommon Murder (1992)
In at the Deep End (1994)
The Glass Ceiling (1994)
The Loop (1996)
Destroy Unopened (1999)
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.
CRITIC'S CORNER
" 'The Office' was a mockumentary that dared to be astutely subtle in a medium that has beaten the quiet moments out of scripts for years. It never tried to pander, was uncompromisingly British and pulled off -- particularly in the second season -- what is so difficult to do for comedies: creating drama from painful, incisively cutting humor.
The humor in 'The Office' has always been tinged with sadness. And it has always been spot-on insightful. But what's so wonderfully realized in 'The Office Special' is the sense of closure, which comes without gimmicks or sell-out dramatics.
'The Office Special' is a grand finale to one of television's best, smartest and funniest series ever. "
- Tim Goodman
San Francisco Chronicle
"The hearts and minds of people at cross purposes have been the lifeblood of 'Farscape', which was always a character drama employing sci-fi elements, not vice versa. That's why its adult cult boasts more professional and female followers than other 'genre' shows infatuated with less-mature tech talk and arcane hierarchies.
Here, it's every man and woman for him - or her- self. Gadgets and political particulars merely provide milieu for fevered passions run amok. All the main characters are outcasts, banding together on Moya as they forge new lives alone in a hostile universe. When even your ship has an opinion about what to do next, conflicts get pretty interesting. Villains aren't necessarily evil here, which the finale finely reiterates, and the most provocative battles take place not between characters but inside their heads as they struggle with identity and meaning while running for cover.
'Farscape' creator Rockne S. O'Bannon and executive producers Henson and David Kemper work with such clever maturity that few viewers notice, for instance, that the show has at least as many women characters as men, or that they're virtually interchangeable in terms of smarts, strength and status."
- Diane Werts
New York Newsday
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
THE GREAT LINK
"The Office" told the story of a few people working in a British office working hard to not lose their jobs. It was shown as though it was a BBC documentary about down-sizing ordinary workers in a bland working environment.
A mockumentary about life in a mid-sized suboffice paper merchants in a bleak British industrial town, where manager David Brent thinks he's the coolest, funniest, and most popular boss ever. He isn't. That doesn't stop him from embarrassing himself in front of the cameras on a regular basis, whether from his political sermonizing, his stand-up 'comedy', or his incredibly unique dancing. Meanwhile, long-suffering Tim longs after Dawn the engaged receptionist and keeps himself sane by playing childish practical jokes on his insufferable, army-obsessed deskmate Gareth.
When the series aired the first season, they did not even know how popular it would get in future episodes. The writers at the start did not imagine that a second season would be created; and after bowing to pressure to create one, they would not do it again for a third. The show ended on a high note after two Christmas specials which tied up knots and rounded off wonderfully the first two seasons. But now we have 'The Office Special'.
Picking up three years after he was laid off from Wernham-Hogg, David Brent is barely employed as a door-to-door salesman, having blown his severance on a hellacious cover of ''If You Don't Know Me by Now'' (video included!).
The series wrapped up for good with "The Office Special," which supposes that the BBC documentary crew returned three years after its initial visit to find out how things had changed at the fictional (and relentlessly banal) Wernham Hogg paper products company in drab Slough, England.
In "The Office Special," David Brent is now selling cleaning products, having blown his severance money, which he sued to get, on a disastrously misguided recording career. And the BBC cameras are back, checking in with the office workers and studying what has happened to them in the intervening three years.
(adapted from the review by Tim Goodman, San Francisco Gate)
THE GREAT LINK II
"Once upon a time, there was a boy named John. And John was an astronaut. He lived in a far away place called Earth, which is so far away, you've never heard of it. One day, when John was out doing astronaut things, a big blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out at the far end of the universe. Things were looking grim in Mudville, till our hero met an amazing living ship, made some nice new friends, and he hooked up with his dream girl.
"We could've lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers raped, chased and tortured us for years on end. And two months ago, we got our asses shot off again. This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles, oooh! And Moya, our living ship, limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R, because, we figure, it's empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us.
"Next thing me and the future Mrs Crichton are having a private moment when you guys fly by, boom bada-bing, squiggly line, squiggly line, crystallised. And it's two months later."
- John Crichton
"Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars"
Which is about as good as you can get for a summary of the series 'Farscape', which leads us to:
'FARSCAPE: THE PEACEKEEPER WARS'
In this lavish four-hour series finale, one of the tube's richest character dramas did a dazzling job wrapping the lost-in-space odyssey of its cool cowboy astronaut.
'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' gave a strong goodbye to a show that got short shrift when Sci Fi decided in 2002 against funding the show's previously ordered fifth and final season. Which wasn't fair, since the series ended with rock-and-roll astronaut cowboy John Crichton and his pregnant alien warrior squeeze Aeryn Sun blown to crystallized bits right after agreeing to tie the knot. They simply couldn't end the series there.
At least Sci Fi was able to make amends by airing an entire-series repeat leading up to the sequel's premiere, - explaining the Crichton-Aeryn axis, the earthling's coveted knowledge of wormhole technology, the invasion of his consciousness by dastardly cyborg Scorpius, conflict between the nasty Peacekeeper race and the nastier Scarrans, and all those vibrant varied-species pals: D'Argo, Chiana, and Rygel. Not to mention their living, sentient spaceship Moya.
Aeryn is pregnant in "The Peacekeeper Wars," (albeit spelled for a bit by surly surrogate Rygel), but the born-and-bred warrior insists on joining a raging skirmish during labor simply because shooting makes her feel better. I've seen 'Murphy Brown' go into labor, and the heroes could have used her warrior birth-rage in that fight as well. Probably Malcolm's mom Lois as well.
('Malcolm In The Middle')
Off-course astronaut Crichton is forever referencing TV shows, rock songs and touchstones such as the Alamo. (He calls the ghost in his head Harvey, like James Stewart's rabbit.) Even though he's a walking, talking Zonk machine, his witty swagger sets a loosey-goosey tone that keeps 'Farscape' from that bane of fantasy fiction: taking itself too seriously. This show likes proceeding off-kilter and it has plenty of opportunities for possible future sequels.
(adapted from the review by Diane Werts of New York Newsday)
THE GREAT LINK III
'Tanner On Tanner' wrapped up its four-episode return to the world of 'Tanner '88' with two great links to other TV series. And appropriately enough for a show that so wonderfully blended reality with fiction, one of those shows was a sitcom and the other was a talk show.
By showing a piece of John Kerry's great acceptance speech at the Boston convention, and by establishing that Jack Tanner had written part of it, 'Tanner On Tanner' could lay claim to kinship with 'Cheers' since Senator Kerry appeared in a quick cameo as himself on that show many years ago.
Later, Jack Tanner appeared with Charlie Rose on his public television talk show, where he dismissed the "rumor" that he had been involved with scripting anything from the speech. This was a big coup for Toobworld - a legitimate link with 'The Charlie Rose Show' without having to rely on somebody appearing who also played themselves on a scripted show. (Legit, but too easy.)
('Tanner On Tanner')
MISSING LINK
During the reunion mini-series for 'Farscape', Scarran Emperor Staleek mentioned that he found it troubling that Humans and Sebaceans could propagate together.
Later, Yondalao, the Eidolon elder, revealed to Aeryn Sun a possible splainin for why it wasn't as difficult as it might have been....
"At the dawn of our period of usefulness, 27000 cycles ago, we developed need of a guard. A race no one had quarrel with. A force to ensure harmony prevailed once negotiations had finished.
"We took great care to choose a species no one had met before. We found your kind primitive, barely clothed, far removed on the galaxy's outer spiral. Having brought some of you back, your evolution was accelerated with generous alterations, until you became our trusted acolytes."
It sounds to me as if Yondalao is referring to the primitive humans of Earth. Perhaps his people harvested an entire community of cavemen for their breeding experiment and turned them into the Peacekeepers.
If so, it could be assumed that the early Eidolons were also those known as the Preservers who seeded worlds with a variety of human cultures. And it could also be argued that if the Eidolons weren't one of the races of the First Ones like the Vorlons and the Shadows, they were at least children of the first generation.
('Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars' & 'Star Trek' & 'Babylon 5')
ZONK
George Lopez fell asleep watching TV while he was wrestling with his conscience over why he had no life insurance.
While he was dreaming, he found himself in three different sitcoms which should have been part of the same universe in which he existed:
'Leave It To Beaver'
'The Munsters'
'The Jetsons'
A few days ago I posted an essay about dream zonks. Feel free to scroll back and find out more about the topic.
('The George Lopez Show')
THE LEAGUE OF THEMSELVES
Less than two weeks after his sudden death, actor Christopher Reeve began appearing in a taped appeal to Californians to vote for a controversial ballot measure that would fund a decade of stem cell research.
Reeve filmed the ad shortly before his death on Oct. 10, but proponents of California's Proposition 71 decided to go forward with the campaign after consulting his family.
"Stem cells have already cured paralysis in animals," Reeve says in the TV spot. "Stem cells are the future of medicine. Please support Proposition 71 and stand up for those who can't."
~~~~~~
While traveling through Stars Hollow, Connecticut, Norman Mailer stopped into the Dragonfly Inn and was interviewed by a reporter. Lorelai and Sookie were initially thrilled when the author showed up repeatedly in the dining room, but Sookie's awe turned to annoyance when Mailer refused to order any food.
('Gilmore Girls')
~~~~~~
Yep, that was Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore making out on the field as the Red Sox celebrated their first World Series title since 1918.
The stars of the upcoming Farrelly brothers movie "Fever Pitch", about a Red Sox fan torn between the woman he loves and the team he worships, were shooting a new happy ending, which had been cobbled together furiously in the wake of Boston's historic run to the championship.
So as the rest of the players swarmed the infield at Busch Stadium in St. Louis on Wednesday night after the team's four-game sweep of the Cardinals, Fallon and Barrymore were in the middle of the madness, with the Farrellys' camera following them.
(The World Series)
~~~~~~
I'm a little late in picking up on this, but skateboard impresario Tony Hawk appeared on an episode of 'Complete Savages'. If I'm not mistaken, this puts him over the top to qualify for the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.
('Complete Savages')
~~~~~~~
Senator John Kerry, Charlie Rose
('Tanner On Tanner')
LA TRIVIATA
'American Goddess' is a reality show found only in the TV Universe, similar to 'Extreme Makeover' or 'The Swan'.
('Without A Trace')
The TV Universe has its own version of that old chestnut of a safe driving movie, "Blood On The Highway"; one which features "Officer Steven Cox" (who looks remarkably like Mad Max a la the Village People....)
('Complete Savages')
RE-CASTAWAYS
Jason and Barbara Reshetar of Coon Rapids, Min.., wrote to TV Guide to suggest that Gary Sinise should portray a younger version of Doctor Leonard McCoy. But I'd say Sinise is just about the right age to portray McCoy as he was in the original 'Star Trek' series; perhaps a few years before.
THE BIG HIATUS
KA D'ARGO
Ka D'Argo was a huge, bellicose Luxan — a race of fierce, much-feared warriors known throughout the galaxy for their propensity to conquer anything or anyone in their path. His first reaction to most every situation was to attack first and ask questions never.
D'Argo was framed for the murder of his Sebacean wife, Lo'Laan who was actually killed by her brother, Macton, in no small part due to the belief among many Sebaceans that a Sebacean/Luxan pairing was miscegenation, and an abomination.
D'Argo's son, Jothee, disappeared and was later found to be enslaved. Jothee was rescued and reunited with his father. Sadly, their reunion ended in tragedy when D'Argo's lover, Chiana, betrayed him by having an affair with Jothee.
D'Argo had more difficulty connecting with others than the rest of Moya's crew, although he respected Aeryn as a fellow warrior, and he considered Crichton a brother-in-arms and a trusted friend. He also had great respect for Zhaan and was deeply in love with Chiana until she betrayed him. (Any kind of good relationship between D'Argo and Rygel, however, was likely a lost cause.)
During the Peacekeeper Wars, D'Argo was speared fatally by attacking Scarrans. In a move that must have reminded John Crichton of Mickey Rooney in "Ambush Bay", Ka D'Argo chose to stay behind with enough weapons to give Crichton and Chiana and the others time to get away.
JOOLUSHKO TUNAI FENTA HOVALIS
Jool was a young Interion woman of remarkable academic accomplishment. Strikingly beautiful, with orange-and-yellow-hued skin offset by a mane of wild, silken hair, she had a fiery temper that matched her wild looks.
Raised in a peaceful star system, Jool attended a rigorous series of universities and rose through the meritocracy to earn respect and privilege. Her background, social status and intellect gave her exposure to the arts and the graces of a finer life. Jool was brilliant, but she'd never been tested in the real world. Despite her prodigious factual base, she hadn't proved her mettle in hard experience.
While on an expedition to the other side of the galaxy, her group of fellow young intellectuals was hijacked and forced into slavery. Near death, her body was sold for medical research. For 22 cycles, Jool was in frozen stasis, her organs earmarked for sale to anyone who had the money to purchase them.
However, before she could be dissected and carved up, John Crichton and the others aboard Moya rescued her.
After more than a cycle with the crew of Moya, Jool finally left to follow her own chosen destiny. With the help of Crichton, Chiana and D'Argo, she freed the priests of Arnessk from a 12,000-cycle-long state of suspended animation. As a scholar of Arnesskan history, Jool decided to stay behind with the priests to ease their transition into a vastly changed galaxy.
It was there where she met her fate as Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans ordered the temple of the Eidolons to be vaporized.
"HARVEY"
That was Crichton's name for the neuro-cyborg non-entity that may or may not have been living in his mind. It resembled Scorpius and was a constant mental irritant as it tried to worm its way into whatever part of Crichton's mind housed the knowledge of wormhole technology.
Once that knowledge was removed by the entity known as "Einstein", "Harvey" 's reason for being ended. He faded away in a scene reminiscent of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (although he preferred to go out with a bang like Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove").
WAR MINISTER AKHNA
Ding dong, the Bitch is dead.
HIERARCH YONDALAO
[THE EIDOLON GRAND CONCILIATOR]
He was blasted to death by Akhna before his powers of conciliation and peace could take hold over Emperor Staleek of the Scarrans.
GRAND CHANCELLOR OF THE PEACEKEEPERS
He was poisoned by his pregnant consort Commandant Mele-On Grayza, who did not want the Peacekeepers to even consider the option of seeking a truce with the Scarrans.
(All from 'Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars')
BABY BOOM
Out of the sorrows suffered by the crew of Moya, there came some small cause for joy - John Crichton and Aeryn Sun were married and their baby was born.
It's a boy!
And in honor of their fallen comrade, they have named him "D'Argo Sun Crichton".
UNSTUCK IN PRIME TIME
On January 13, 1968, Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Concert was broadcast to millions of inmates across the U.S. That night, in the melee following the broadcast, an inmate was murdered and quickly disposed of in a prison outside of Philly.
Detective Lilly Rush and the 'Cold Case' team re-opened the case when human bones were found at the site of the now shuttered prison. When it turned out that the bones didn't belong to the dead inmate, the team had to begin a new search for the person who was murdered at the prison 36 years before.
The prisoner was thought to have disappeared when a riot broke out, while listening to Cash's 1968 Folsom Prison concert, and that show is referenced during several parts of the episode with eight of the songs used during the flashback sequences.
The following is the original set list of the Folsom Prison concert recorded live at Folsom Prison on January 13, 1968:
Folsom Prison Blues
I'm Busted
Dark As The Dungeon
I Still Miss Someone
Cocaine Blues
25 Minutes To Go
I'm Not In Your Town To Stay
Orange Blossom Special
The Long Black Veil
Send A Picture Of Mother
The Wall
Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog
Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
Joe Bean
Jackson (with June)
I Got A Woman (with June)
John Henry
I Got Stripes
Green, Green Grass Of Home
Greystone Chapel
l Give My Love To Rose
MULTI-VERSE MEDIA
The daughter of former Presidential contender Jack Tanner isn't the only Alex Tanner out there in the many fictional universes. Here's one from the literary universe, crime novel section, who can be found across the pond:
Alex Tanner
Created by Anabel Donald
Sometimes a journalist can be considered a private eye, and sometimes they can't...
Britain's ALEX TANNER doesn't have to worry. She's both. She's a part-time private investigator, and a part-time freelance TV researcher, with a bit more grit than the average female eye. A product of countless foster homes during her troubled childhood, she's grown up to be a determinedly self-reliant and fiercely independent loner, with a taste for hardboiled private eye fiction.
Not that she's a complete loner. Her relationship with TV producer Barty O'Neill is a total delight and great fun. Alex calls the turf of London's Notting Hill home, but the mean streets Alex goes down are a far cry from the aggressive trendiness of any recent Hugh Grant/Julia Roberts eye candy.
A well-written, engrossing series, with something to say. The pyschological development of women and the emotional issues of troubled youth are recurring themes.
NOVELS
An Uncommon Murder (1992)
In at the Deep End (1994)
The Glass Ceiling (1994)
The Loop (1996)
Destroy Unopened (1999)
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.
CRITIC'S CORNER
" 'The Office' was a mockumentary that dared to be astutely subtle in a medium that has beaten the quiet moments out of scripts for years. It never tried to pander, was uncompromisingly British and pulled off -- particularly in the second season -- what is so difficult to do for comedies: creating drama from painful, incisively cutting humor.
The humor in 'The Office' has always been tinged with sadness. And it has always been spot-on insightful. But what's so wonderfully realized in 'The Office Special' is the sense of closure, which comes without gimmicks or sell-out dramatics.
'The Office Special' is a grand finale to one of television's best, smartest and funniest series ever. "
- Tim Goodman
San Francisco Chronicle
"The hearts and minds of people at cross purposes have been the lifeblood of 'Farscape', which was always a character drama employing sci-fi elements, not vice versa. That's why its adult cult boasts more professional and female followers than other 'genre' shows infatuated with less-mature tech talk and arcane hierarchies.
Here, it's every man and woman for him - or her- self. Gadgets and political particulars merely provide milieu for fevered passions run amok. All the main characters are outcasts, banding together on Moya as they forge new lives alone in a hostile universe. When even your ship has an opinion about what to do next, conflicts get pretty interesting. Villains aren't necessarily evil here, which the finale finely reiterates, and the most provocative battles take place not between characters but inside their heads as they struggle with identity and meaning while running for cover.
'Farscape' creator Rockne S. O'Bannon and executive producers Henson and David Kemper work with such clever maturity that few viewers notice, for instance, that the show has at least as many women characters as men, or that they're virtually interchangeable in terms of smarts, strength and status."
- Diane Werts
New York Newsday
BCnU!
Tele-Toby
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