Wednesday, February 21, 2007


I'm surprised I don't disable more Zonks from 'Psych'. Shawn Spencer seems like the kind of motormouth to be spouting pop culture TV references all the time.

I guess I should be thankful he just makes the weird and off-beat comments and leaves the simple TV references to lesser mortals.

This past week, Gus found out that Shawn had stolen his 'Airwolf' jacket more than five years before. Shawn's defense was that he was protecting Gus from becoming the kind of dweeb that would wear an 'Airwolf' jacket in the first place. He argued that the only one who could pull off the look would have been Jan-Michael Vincent, and even then, just barely.

'Airwolf' ran on CBS for two years, ending in 1986. It was an action-adventure series about a super-tricked out helicopter and it starred Jan-Michael Vincent, Ernest Borgnine, and Alex Cord.

And it should exist within the same TV universe as 'Psych', so that there should not have been any merchandizing tie-ins like that jacket.

As a Toobworld Caretaker, here's how we can fix up that problem.....

In the world of Earth Prime-Time, the Airwolf helicopter and the 'Airwolf' TV show are not related. 'Airwolf' had nothing to do with helicopters, but it did star Jan-Michael Vincent.

'Airwolf' would be a spin-off from 'Viking Quest', the fantasy adventure series which starred Johnny "Drama" Chase as Thorvald. In the series, a recurring villain may have been Fenric the demi-god who took the form of a wolf.

In Norse mythology, Fenris was the eldest son of Loki the trickster god. It was prophesied that he would one day slay Odin and in turn be killed by one of Odin's sons in the world-ending apocalypse known as Ragnarok.

All of that would have been background for the character as seen in the TV show. And the character might have proven to be so successful that the network suits of Toobworld (probably at NBS, may they be nibbled to death by ducks!) would have urged the producers to come up with a spin-off about Fenris.

The producers - if they had some artistic gumption - might have figured that they should go off in some totally unexpected direction, rather than just make a carbon-copy of 'Viking Quest'. So they killed off the character of Fenris (perhaps in some big two-part season-ender made especially for May Sweeps) and made it look like he would never be seen on Toobworld TV ever again.

And then they would spring their spin-off the following fall. The time was "the present", and Fenris still existed in spirit form but was now joined to a mortal human played by Jan Michael Vincent. Whenever the human character found himself in some dire situation, he'd summon the spirit of Fenris to take over. The human would become some kind of supernatural, super-powered lycanthrope who would save the day for his human side.

He'd be kind of a furry Hulk, and my! What great big teeth he would have!

Now that's the kind of TV show I can see Gus watching and loving to the point that he'd get the jacket to help raise his cool quotient.

I'm not saying that's what happened. Just saying it's pozz'ble, it's pozz'ble.....

And by Thor's Hammer! That would mean - NO Zonk!

'Studio 60'
'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys'
'Thor' (cartoon)



Anonymous said...

... probably nothing more irritating than Norse-tinted sciolism. And maybe the tone of your article.

And anyway, Fenrir was only the eldest of Angrboda's children, jackass. Sigyn's kids came first.

Toby said...

I don't need more than a smattering of knowledge on any given subject to create a splainin which disables the Zonks. Any more than that would make me O'Bsessive.... well, even more so.

So I apologize that I didn't say Fenris was the eldest son of both Loki and Angrboda. I never meant to rile up some Sons of Asgard RPGer.......

"Jackass"... well, at least it was a TV-based insult!

Anonymous said...

lol...sounds like Dwight from "The Office"

Rich A.

Anonymous said...

Is that jerk for real?

Your "splainin" was fictional, but does he really think a real TV executive is gonna give a damn about the "facts" in Norse mythology? All he cares about is putting out a TV show that gets good ratings!

Sounds like he's got that Thor's hammer up his ass!