Saturday, October 1, 2005


There have been enough remakes of classic TV shows (And I'm NOT considering movie remakes, thank you!) to make a good showing for the alt. dimension of Earth Prime Time Delay.

Among those shows are:
'The New Gidget'
'The New Addams Family'
'Dark Shadows' (1991)
'Ed McBain's 87th Precinct' (1995)
'The New Monkees'

And now 'The Night Stalker' has moved into their neighborhood.

But those are only official residents of that alternate TV Land. Since it is a kind of mirror to the original TV Land, all of the characters from every TV show not yet remade also exist in this version of Toobworld....

We just haven't met them yet.

Dr. Thomas Reed of Winnetka, Illinois, would be one of those characters. However, he didn't even appear (Technically - he might have appeared in flashbacks.) in the main Toobworld, as he was already dead by the time of the premiere of 'Sisters', which was a show about his four daughters.

Dr. Reed had four daughters with his wife Beatrice. But his desire for a son was reflected in the names he gave his girls: Alexandra (Alex), Georgina (Georgie), Francesca (Frankie), and Theodora (Teddi).

A few years after we met the quartet of Reed Sisters, we learned that there was another Reed daughter to make it a quintet. Her name was Charlotte "Charley" Bennett, child of an extramarital relationship Dr. Reed had with his nurse.

So Tom Reed couldn't keep it in his pants. And more than likely the same could be said for his doppelganger in Earth Prime Time Delay. It's also possible that the alt. Tom Reed had more than one affair, and perhaps even an interracial relationship at that, which might have resulted in the birth of another daughter.

If so, we have a candidate for that daughter in 'The Night Stalker' - Perri Reed as played Gabrielle Union. The main reason I thought of this theory lies in her name, more her first name than the surname. And "Perri" could take its place among those other diminutives as reflecting Dr. Reed's frustration in not fathering a boy.

Until we learn otherwise about her background, ('The Night Stalker' only just premiered this past Thursday.), I'm going to hold tightly to that possibility.

Even if we should learn of or meet Perri's parents, it still could be that Momma Reed dallied with another man named Reed.

But more than anything else, a sixth daughter for the alt. dimensional doctor would definitely prove one thing......

Tom Reed has girlie sperm!


"Use your mutant powers.
Talk people to death."
Agent Seely Booth

It's like he's talking to me!

Friday, September 30, 2005


When a TV series is wholly remade with a new cast and updated to reflect the current times, the show is automatically relegated to the alternate TV dimension of Earth Prime Time Delay. This is because Earth Prime Time (Toobworld) already has the original series as a segment of the TV Universe.

From there, the show might be then forewarded to yet another alt. dimension, as might be the case with the new version of 'Battlestar Galactica'. (Some of the recastaways were now women - Starbuck and Admiral Cain, for example - and could be part of an estrogen-driven dimension as found in 'All That Glitters' and an episode of 'Sliders'.)

Last night, a new version of 'Kolchak: The Night Stalker' premiered; its title now truncated to just 'The Night Stalker'. The only connection to the old series was in the names for two of its main characters - Carl Kolchak and Tony Vincenzo.

Kolchak was no longer a rumpled, middle-aged schlub scrounging for his news stories out of a dumpy newsroom and an even dumpier apartment. Now the reporter was a catalogue fashion model just past his prime, who worked for the L.A. Beacon instead of the "I.N.S."

Tony Vincenzo valued his friendship with the reporter and trusted his reporting skills; whereas in the original, Kolchak was a thorn in his editor's side.

And Kolchak's background - a previous life in Las Vegas shrouded in mystery, - differed in that his wife had been murdered by some kind of were-creature; while the original Kolchak was a bachelor who battled a vampire.

For all that the show was markedly, radically, totally different, I don't even see why the producers even bothered with retaining the names of the characters. They should have just gone whole hog and created an entirely new show.

Actually, I can understand though why they kept the title after reading about Roy Huggins and his negotiations to bring 'Maverick' to Television. (ABC was too cheap to pay for original ideas; so Huggins had to take his truly original character of Bret Maverick and insert him into the plot of a novel already owned by ABC. Thus the pilot of episode of 'Maverick': "War Of The Silver Kings".)

If ABC wanted to save a few quatloos because they already owned the rights to the Jeff Rice novel, that's fine. 'The Night Stalker' is both generic and specific and can refer either to the protagonists or to the creatures he hunted. They should have jettisoned the actual connection to Darrin McGavin's character, because Carl Kolchak, he's not.

But just because I've banished this new version of 'The New Stalker' to Earth Prime Time Delay, that doesn't mean I've abandoned my interest in the role it plays in the TV Universe. In fact, there are at least two other points of interest in the pilot which appealed to my theories of Televisiology.

Film at eleven...



Since the new season is only just underway, and because I spent the summer looking for possible crossovers for each of the 13 episodes of the new 'Doctor Who', the "Crossover of the Week' is actually from about three weeks ago.
Okay, a month ago.

As the late Don Adams would say, "Sorry about that, Chief."

This crossover takes place in the Tooniverse. But it does have a tie to the Cineverse as one of the shows is a television spin-off from a theatrical cartoon.

On 'Lilo & Stitch', the li'l blue alien was kidnapped by two villains normally seen on another Disney Channel 'toon, 'Kim Possible', but Dr. Drakken and Shego were working for Hamsterviel.

Having no one else to turn to, Lilo contacted Kim Possible for help. The lithe, young adventuress answered her pleas, with help from the aliens Jumba and Pleakley, as well as from Kim's friend Ron Stoppable and his pet Rufus. It didn't take long, less than half an hour coincidentally enough, for Kim and Lilo breached the underwater fortress and saved Stitch from the evil trio.

There was a sub-plot that also did a good job in intertwining the two series, as Jumba was convinced that the Naked Mole Rat was one of the dangerous experimental creatures like Stitch was.

Not being familiar with either series, I don't know if they had any previous links to other shows. But of the two, I'd say 'Kim Possible' has the best, um... possibilities.

For instance - 'Static Shock', 'Batman Begins', and 'Teen Titans', let's say.

Something for both Disney and The WB to consider.

This just in.... I've heard a rumor that this episode of 'Lilo & Stitch' ("Rufus") will be the last appearance of the character of 'Kim Possible'... at least in animated form.


Thursday, September 29, 2005


Since the new version of 'Doctor Who' has not been picked up for American audiences, some of the details mentioned in this essay should probably be considered spoilers.

Just thought I'd warn ye.

Regular visitors to "Inner Toob" might remember what troubles I had in trying to find an appropriate link for the fourth and fifth episodes of the new 'Doctor Who' ("Aliens Of London" & "World War Three"). I needed a theoretical crossover that could cover the newsmaking events of the death of the British Prime Minister and the destruction of both Big Ben and Number 10 Downing Street. And I needed this link to also help splain the timeline discrepancies that cropped up due to the 11th episode, "Boom Town".

So I decided to utilize one of the special features of the TARDIS - that it could travel not only through Time but Space as well. For these episodes, I was originally hoping to link it to the alternate TV dimension in which 'The West Wing' takes place.

But as "Words Say Nothing" pointed out, by the time the episode was taking place - June, 2006, - the United Kingdom already had a female PM. In "Aliens Of London", we learned the Slitheen Family had murdered the MALE PM of that time period.

And if 'The West Wing' was projecting ahead with its timeline, then by this point in the broadcasts, now that the last season has begun, surely somebody should have mentioned the loss of both British landmarks.

So 'The West Wing' was wight - er, right out.

I didn't even give 'Commander-in-Chief' a thought because it might be addressing the fictional view of their world's Great Britain before season's end. And if they can keep up the encouraging ratings from their first night, it might even be around by next season. And definitely by then they would have had to depict an England without Big Ben.

So I finally chose the combo of 'The Agency' and 'The District', which were both on CBS and shared a definitive crossover with each other. They had a fictional presidency, - therefore automatically relegated to an alternate dimension since Toobworld must share the same president as the Real World... for better or worse. And best of all? Both shows were cancelled; therefore we can make any claims we want for that dimension's future.

And for good measure, I decided to toss in the new FOX series 'Prison Break' to this alt. dimension, since they keep talking about a man named Steadman who is the brother to the Vice President.

Which is the long way around to saying that 'Prison Break' has given me a gift - something from the show itself that lends credence to this theory.

This past Monday, Michael Scofield was hoping to instigate a lockdown of his cellblock so that he could work behind the prison walls. What he never planned for was that the situation would quickly devolve into a full-scale riot.

And the riot's main instigator, a prison perv known as T-Bag, exhulted over the fact that he caused the correction officers to flee before him and his troops. "They're afraid of the Big Bad Wolf!"

The Big Bad Wolf.......

As the over-arching storyline showed, the Doctor and his companion Rose Tyler were followed throughout Time and Space by the phrase "Bad Wolf". Some of these were found in graffiti, others in corporate names. Sometimes the phrase was spoken aloud by characters like Gwyneth and The Moxx of the Balhoon.

The words "Bad Wolf" had been scattered through Time and Space by Rose herself, after she had gained god-like powers from absorbing the Time Stream. If "Aliens Of London" & "World War Three" did take place in an alternate dimension, then the phrase could have manifested itself through T-Bag's exclamation.

And as for it occurring at the Fox River State Penitentiary, where the Doctor and Rose never even showed up, that's not really a problem either. (They only went to America once - in the episode "Dalek", and that won't happen until 2012.)

Rose sent "Bad Wolf" throughout Time and Space, sprinkling it liberally I'm sure. We know some of the occurrences were like seed tossed onto asphalt, because even though Rose and the Doctor were in the vicinity, they never noticed them. (For instance, the graffitti on the concert poster in 1987 London, found in the episode "Father's Day".)

"Bad Wolf" and especially "Big Bad Wolf" (which was uttered by Gwyneth in "The Unquiet Dead") are phrases that can be considered pretty common. Not only could they show up in some sitcom's retelling of a few classic fairy tales, but they do lend themselves nicely to code words and catch-phrases and even as a possible secret identity.

Therefore, in the future whenever the phrase "Bad Wolf" shows up in any TV show, it will be my claim that it's another manifestation of Rose's plan scattered throughout the TV Universe.

As a matter of fact, should the phrase ever pop up in some rerun of an old TV show from years back, we can make the same claim.

'Doctor Who' is the premiere series for time travel, after all.

In fact, here are two examples that I feel comfortable with attributing to Rose Tyler's powers:

"Dark Shadows" (1966)
Quentin Collins: On your way to grandmother's house, and low and behold! Who should you meet but the big bad wolf.

"Veronica Mars" (2004)
Trina Echolls: So now you're worried about Dad's welfare.... Isn't he the Big Bad Wolf? Cigarette burns and broken noses.... Oh, the stories you used to tell!

Both quotes are courtesy of contributors to the There's always a possibility that even more TV series might be able to add to that roster!


Wednesday, September 28, 2005


With the death of Don Adams, it's occurred to me that the registrar of Toobworld citizenry has suffered a heavy toll this year. We have lost truly great characters when these actors have died, as well as legends from the League of Themselves and even a few giants behind the scenes.

Sure, the roles can be recast. ABC hopes to prove that with their new version of 'The Night Stalker' this year. But as we've always known since the beginning of the medium, there can never be anyone to take the place in our hearts quite like the original.

The following is not a comprehensive list; perhaps I may run one for the end of the year. But look over these names and give thanks that Toobworld exists in a medium where they all can live again for us exactly as we remembered them. (Minus those moments edited for commercial breaks.)

Phoebe Wallingford - 'All My Children'

Dean Vernon Wormer - 'Delta House'

Ponder Blue - 'Evening Shade'
[Corrected thanks to Brent McKee]

Ranger Porter Ricks - 'Flipper'

Morty Seinfeld - 'Seinfeld'

Cathy Shumway - 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman'

Charlie Hume - 'Lou Grant'

The Riddler - 'Batman'

Chief Peter B. Clifford - 'McCloud'

Ernest T. Bass - 'The Andy Griffith Show'

"Ollievar" Wendell Douglas - 'Green Acres'

General Burkhaldter - 'Hogan's Heroes'

Pete Thornton - 'MacGyver'

Perry White - 'Lois & Clark'

Mr. Peterson - 'The Bob Newhart Show'

SCOTTY! - 'Star Trek'

Miss Ellie - 'Dallas'

Gilligan - 'Gilligan's Island'

Maynard G. Krebs - 'The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis'

Maxwell Smart - 'Get Smart'

From the League of Themselves:

Johnny Carson

Paul Winchell

Peter Jennings

Pat McCormick

And behind the scenes:

Perry Lafferty

Paul Henning

Plus the voices for:

Tennessee Tuxedo

Inspector Gadget

Fred Flintstone

Tony The Tiger

As I stated, this is not the full list. But even so, I can't be the only one who feels the enormous sense of loss......



Tuesday, September 27, 2005


The Boston Globe is running a gallery of their picks for the Top Fifty Science Fiction shows of all time.

As with any lists, it's purely subjective so I don't usually bother with even arguing about inclusions, omissions, and standings.

But even so.....

An anthology show that leaned more toward mystery and horror - 'The Hitch-Hiker' was included, but 'The Prisoner' was not? They picked 'Voyager' to be added in, but not a far superior 'Trek' sequel like 'Deep Space Nine'?

How can they rave about 'The Twilight Zone' as being not only a great sci-fi show, but also as one of the greatest TV shows of all time, and yet it gets no higher perch than #7?

'Doctor Who' just made the Top Ten, but had the new series been available to an American audience (May network executives be nibbled to death by ducks!), I'm sure the TARDIS would have landed even higher. And I know there will be plenty of very angry 'Red Dwarf' fans regarding its lack of any standing.

Granted, I have yet to see more than just the first episode of the new 'Battlestar Galactica' (I couldn't get my head past the killing of the baby by Number Six.), but I can't fathom it being considered the second best of all Time already.

But I do think the Top Twenty posting for 'Lost' was highly warranted.

At least off-beat shows like 'Futurama', 'The Thunderbirds', 'My Favorite Martian', and 'Nowhere Man' were remembered for inclusion. And I'm glad they remembered 'The Wild, Wild West' and 'The Avengers' did delve into science fiction with such themes as miniaturization, for example.

To see the full list, visit:


Monday, September 26, 2005


'Gilligan's Island' is on every day at three-thirty...
Whether I watch it or not.
What's the point?
Dad, it's not on for me. It's just - on!
'Growing Pains'

I was asked as to why I had not acknowledged the passing of Bob Denver yet here at "Inner Toob".

I wanted to wait until today, which marks the anniversary of the debut for his signature show 'Gilligan's Island', because I wanted to make the tribute as special in every way possible.

Say what you will about 'Gilligan's Island'; I may even agree with you on a lot of it.

But taking a page from David Bianculli's book "Tele-Literacy", I want you to try this little experiment.......

Quote (from memory - don't cheat and look it up first!) the "To Be Or Not To Be" soliloquy from "Hamlet".

Now quote the lyrics to the 'Gilligan's Island' theme song.

For good or ill, you can't deny what an impact the show has had on our lives. Right up there with 'Star Trek' and 'The Twilight Zone', 'Gilligan's Island' is a major source of Zonk!s; blasting holes into the integrity of the TV Universe because so many TV shows make reference to it as a TV show.

Luckily, many of these Zonk!s can be splained away, since the actual shipwreck and the eventual rescue of the castaways was major news in Toobworld. It's when they refer to actual episodes of the show, or when TV characters dream of the show, that we get into Zonk!ish trouble.

To me, Gilligan is an icon of Toobworld, a true descendant of the noble tradition of the Fool. Silly, true; but the Fool can also represent situations in our lives and mirror qualities in ourselves. Although I'm no psychologist or sociologist, I think it could be argued that Gilligan does just that.

Dr. Will Miller even wrote a book about conquering personal roadblocks to achieving success and titled it "Killing Your Inner Gilligan"... which just about sums up the role Gilligan played on the island.

(In one of my favorite Zonk!s, Rebecca Howe's father is watching the show for the first time with Norm at the bar 'Cheers'. The retired Navy man was dumbfounded by what he saw, in comparison to Life as he knew it. As far as he was concerned, if only the other castaways had shot Gilligan, they would have been off the island in a week's time.)

Further proof of how much Bob Denver meant to us in the framework of Toobworld lies in the fact that he contributed two major characters of iconic stature who were totally dissimilar from each other.

Many another actor can lay claim to several different characters who proved to be giants in the pantheon of Toobworld citizens. But I think most of those would prove to be just reiterations of what the actors did before. That's the nature of the medium - as Fred Allen said, imitation is the sincerest form of Television. If it worked once, keep doing it.

But besides Gilligan, Denver also gave life to Maynard G. Krebs in 'The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis'. (The "G." stands for "Walter".)

It's been said that the perfect picture to illustrate the mid-1970s lifestyle would be of John Travolta wearing Tony Manero's white suit in "Saturday Night Fever". I think nothing sums up the Toobworld image of the Beat Generation in the 1950s better than Denver as Maynard.

Bob Denver will be one of the few actors to be represented in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame by two citizens of Toobworld. Gilligan was already inducted years ago, but Maynard will one day join the ranks as well.

In similar fashion to the pervasive effect of Gilligan, Denver's portrayal of Maynard was still felt years later in Toobworld. The undead zombie Lurch, who worked as a butler for 'The Addams Family', also used the same introductory phrase as Maynard: "You rang?".

Working within Toobworld's inner reality, the reasoning could be that in life Lurch had been Maynard's bongo-brother among the Beats. And even though "work" is a four-letter word to Mr. Krebs, this theory works for me.

Here's a rundown of Bob Denver's TV credits, courtesy of the

"Twilight Theater" (1982) TV Series .... Various Characters
"Far Out Space Nuts" (1975) TV Series .... Junior
"Dusty's Trail" (1973) TV Series .... Dusty
"The Good Guys" (1968) TV Series .... Rufus Butterworth
"Gilligan's Island" (1964) TV Series .... Willie Gilligan (1964-1967)
Gilligan's Island: Marooned (1964) (TV pilot) .... Gilligan
"The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" (1959) TV Series .... Maynard G. Krebs

Bring Me the Head of Dobie Gillis (1988) (TV) .... Maynard G. Krebs
High School U.S.A. (1983) (TV) .... Milton Feld
The Invisible Woman (1983) (TV) .... Dr. Dudley Plunkett
Scamps (1982) (TV) .... Oliver Hopkins

"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Meego" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Mommy 'n' Meego" (episode # 1.7) 1997
"Roseanne" playing "Jackie" in episode: "Sherwood Schwartz--A Loving Tribute" (episode # 7.25) 24 May 1995
"Space Ghost Coast to Coast" playing "Himself" in episode: "Gilligan" (episode # 1.2) 22 April 1994
"Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994
"Evening Shade" playing "Himself" in episode: "Saint Bobby" (episode # 3.24) 17 May 1993
"Baywatch" playing "Willy Gilligan" in episode: "Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale" (episode # 2.16) 24 February 1992
"ALF" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Somewhere Over the Rerun" (episode # 2.2) 28 September 1987
"The New Gidget" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Gilligidge Island" 19 September 1987
"Fantasy Island" playing "Tim Kearns" in episode: "Love Island/The Sisters" (episode # 6.22) 14 May 1983
"The Love Boat" playing "Norman Lomax" in episode: "A Dress to Remember" (episode # 5.28) 8 May 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Don Winters" in episode: "The Magic Camera/Mata Hari/Valerie" (episode # 5.12) 16 January 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Francis Elkins" in episode: "House of Dolls/Wuthering Heights" (episode # 5.11) 9 January 1982
"Fantasy Island" playing "Morris Binstock" in episode: "Eagleman/Children of Mentu" (episode # 3.23) 17 May 1980
"The Love Boat" playing "Jason" in episode: "Disco Baby/Alas, Poor Dwyer/After the War/Ticket to Ride/Itsy Bitsy: Part 2" (episode # 2.19) 3 February 1979
"The Love Boat" playing "Jason" in episode: "Disco Baby/Alas, Poor Dwyer/After the War/Ticket to Ride/Itsy Bitsy: Part 1" (episode # 2.18) 3 February 1979
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Eat's Cafe" (episode # 5.8b) 9 November 1973
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Baby Derby" (episode # 4.20a) 16 February 1973
"Love, American Style" in episode: "Love and the Cake" (episode # 2.17a) 22 January 1971
"Love, American Style" playing "Earl" in episode: "Love and the Hitchhiker" (episode # 1.17b) 30 January 1970
"I Dream of Jeannie" playing "Harold" in episode: "My Son the Genie" (episode # 3.13) 12 December 1967
"Make Room for Daddy" playing "Herbie" in episode: "The Persistent Cop" (episode # 11.30) 27 April 1964
"The Andy Griffith Show" playing "Dud Wash" in episode: "Divorce, Mountain Style" (episode # 4.26) 30 March 1964
"The Farmer's Daughter" playing "Lieutenant Tenner" in episode: "An Enterprising Young Man" (episode # 1.4) 11 October 1963
"Dr. Kildare" playing "Dr. Paul Garrett" in episode: "If You Can't Believe the Truth..." (episode # 3.3) 10 October 1963
"Fractured Flickers" playing "Himself" (episode # 1.22)
[This probably should have fallen into the Variety Show category and thus should have been removed from consideration, but the show was such a blast and in a way his appearance would have been somewhat fictional in the "interview" with Hans Conreid, that I wanted to include it.]

"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Gilligan's Planet" (1982) TV Series (voice) .... Gilligan
"The New Adventures of Gilligan" (1974) TV Series (voice) .... Willy Gilligan

"The Simpsons" playing "Himself" (voice) in episode: "Simpson Tide" (episode # 9.19) 29 March 1998
"Space Ghost Coast to Coast" playing "Himself" in episode: "Gilligan" (episode # 1.2) 22 April 1994
[This show was a good example of the inter-action between Toobworld and the Tooniverse. Space Ghost interviewed the live-action Denver from the main TV Universe, even though he could have brought the animated actor right into the studio with him.]
"Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994
"Evening Shade" playing "Himself" in episode: "Saint Bobby" (episode # 3.24) 17 May 1993
[The high school class was supposed to get John Denver to speak to the school, but through a mix-up, Bob Denver came instead.]

Let's take a closer look at the three main Toobworld characters of Bob Denver......

"Dusty's Trail" (1973) TV Series .... Dusty
The Wackiest Wagon Train in the West (1976) .... Dusty
[This was just a compilation of episodes from the TV series released as a movie.]

'Dusty's Trail' at least makes its mark in Toobworld in that a savage tribe of Indians known as the Shugs harassed the wagon train. The Shugs would also appear in at least one episode of 'F Troop', thus providing a link between the two series.

And since we never learned what Dusty's last name was, why can't we make the claim that it could have been Gilligan? At the very least, based on the nature of both their characters, it could be argued that Gilligan was the reincarnation of Dusty's soul. (Reincarnation being an established concept in the TV Universe.)

"The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" (1959) TV Series .... Maynard G. Krebs
"Whatever Happened To Dobie Gillis?" (1977) TV series pilot.... Maynard G. Krebs
Bring Me the Head of Dobie Gillis (1988) (TV) .... Maynard G. Krebs

In the 1977 pilot for a proposed revival of the 'Dobie Gillis' series, Dobie (who was now running his father's grocery store) had married Zelda and had a 16 year old son named Georgie. His buddy Maynard had become a successful businessman and Chatsworth Osborne was the town banker.

But ten years later with the TV movie sequel, Georgie (now a different actor, obviously) was still a teen-ager and practically reliving his dad's life in high school. (He's chasing the beautiful, unattainable girl while being pursued himself by a girl he deems plain and average.)

And apparently, Dobie hadn't seen Maynard in twenty years - even though it was only ten years before in which the pilot took place. The fact that Thalia Menninger no longer looked like Tuesday Weld but Connie Stevens instead wouldn't have been a problem: casting changes due to aging are always given a pass.

It's my theory that the TV pilot was the true sequel to the original series and both of those are set on Earth Prime-Time, the main Toobworld.

But "Bring Me The Head Of Dobie Gillis" - and maybe just from that title alone! - is obviously set in the evil mirror universe. (Or perhaps Earth Prime-Time Delay, because of the fact that Georgie Gillis is a teenager ten years later than he is in the main Toobworld.)

The reason Dobie had not seen his beatnik buddy for twenty years was due to Maynard being shipwrecked on a desert island all those years, until he was rescued by Thalia. It's a sign that perhaps Maynard and Gilligan shared a cosmic kinship, even across the dimensional vortex.

"Gilligan's Island" (1964) TV Series .... Willie Gilligan (1964-1967)
Rescue from Gilligan's Island (1978) (TV) .... Gilligan
The Castaways on Gilligan's Island (1979) (TV) .... Gilligan
The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island (1981) (TV) .... Gilligan

More than any of the other castaways on the island, Gilligan was a character of the moment; nothing of his past really mattered save that he was first mate to the Skipper. As such, he lends himself easily to the Missing Links concept of Toobworld.

We never did learn much about Gilligan, not even his first name [although Sherwood Schwartz has said that he would have chosen "Willie" had he inserted it into a script early enough]. Of the few facts we have about Gilligan, we know the mighty sailing man was born in Pennsylvania and that his stateside best friend was Skinny Mulligan.

So why couldn't he have been born in 'Grand', Pennsylvania? And maybe his buddy Skinny's first name was Mickey? Mickey would move to New York City with a goal to become a success in Television. ('Hey, Mulligan!')

About five years ago or so, we learned that Gilligan's mother was still alive in a blipvert for the Snickers candy bar. (The premise was that if you're going to be stuck waiting a real long time, you might as well have a Snickers to curb your hunger.)

The way the women were dressed in the commercial suggested "Three Sisters" by Checkov more than it did 'Gilligan's Island', but maybe it was just their dress for mourning. And since the castaways were rescued back in 1978, this commercial might have been just showing us what was happening with Momma Gilligan during the 1970s while he was still missing at sea.

Of Bob Denver's TV appearances as other characters, this one stood out as a possibility for a theoretical link based on tele-genetics:

"The Andy Griffith Show" playing "Dud Wash" in episode: "Divorce, Mountain Style" (episode # 4.26) 30 March 1964
In one of the episodes of 'Gilligan's Island', Gilligan mentioned that he had a brother. So why couldn't it have been a half-brother?

Remember the old joke about the traveling salesman and the farmer with the beautiful daughter? Lots of Toobworld premises are based on old jokes....

So why can't we theorize that Dud Walsh is the son of Gilligan's father? All we know about Mr. Gilligan was that he was short and had a mustache; nothing says that he wasn't a traveling salesman. This way we can imagine him meeting up with Farmer Walsh's daughter in a barn near Mayberry, North Carolina......

As was the case with Maynard G. Krebs, Gilligan existed in several different TV dimensions. We know of his animated version from the Tooniverse who must have been eventually rescued, only to then be blasted into space with the other castaways to fend for themselves on an alien planet.

But in one of the mirror dimensions, perhaps even the evil one, Gilligan and the other six stranded castaways never did make it off the island....

An alien by the name of Meego was attempting to phone home to his maternal unit on Marmazon 4.0 when he accidentally reached Gilligan, the Professor, and Mary Ann, still stranded after 35 years. (And it's quite possible then that this should be the universe in which we find that Snickers commercial.

There's only one problem, however. This episode of 'Meego' ("Mommy 'n' Meego" #1.7) was originally slated to air on November 21st, 1997. But the show was cancelled before it had the chance.

Something tells me that some cable outlet somewhere showed the entire run - such as it was - but I can't verify that. And one of the original tenets for Toobworld is that nothing is officially a part of the TV Universe (no matter which dimension) until it has been broadcast.

So for now, we'll just consider this adventure to be one of those never seen, rather like Pavel Chekov's introduction to Khan Noonian Singh in the 'Star Trek' episode "Space Seed".

But there is yet another incarnation of Gilligan in an alternate dimension, that of Earth Prime-Time Delay......
'The New Gidget' - "Gilligidge Island" (19 September 1987)

This alternate Gidget Lawrence and her family went on a cruise which shipwrecked them on a desert isle. There they met not only Gilligan and the Skipper (the late Alan Hale Jr.), but also the Maytag repairman as played by the late great Jesse White.

This alternate world version of the castaways could lend credence to the proposal that the unaired 'Meego' episode actually took place. And that would mean that we can send the entire series of 'Meego' out of the main Toobworld.

And who would argue with that?

(By the way, the original pilot for 'Gilligan's Island' would also be in an alternate dimension, as the Professor was played by John Gabriel.)

There are far too many regular Zonk!s concerning 'Gilligan's Island' to mention here. (The 'Cheers' one listed above was definitely the best.)

But there's a sub-category of Zonk! that should be examined because they often-times involved the original actors from the show. Dream-Zonk!s involve Toobworldlings who dream about 'Gilligan's Island' as a show - and one in which the dreamers often-times inserted themselves to interact with the castaway characters.

Perhaps, in acknowledgement of Bob Denver's widow, we should be calling these "Dreama-Zonk!s". (And I'd just like to o'bserve that "Dreama" is one of the prettiest first names I've seen in some time.)

1] "Herman's Head" playing "Himself" in episode: "The Herm from Ipanema" (episode # 3.17) 17 February 1994

According to the episode description, Herman decides to give it all up during a tropical vacation and buy a local bar on the island. Now, it's quite possible that during all of this he actually met Bob Denver. But considering the show's concept, it could also be that Denver was no more than a figment of Herman's over-active imagination.

He may even have appeared in Herman's head as Gilligan in much the same way 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' got Zonk!ed by the appearance of Buddy Sorrell and Sally Rogers among the other denizens of Herman's mind.

2] "Baywatch" playing "Willy Gilligan" in episode: "Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale" (episode # 2.16) 24 February 1992

After watching a marathon of 'Gilligan's Island' reruns instead of working, Eddie slipped and hit his head on the tower ramp which sent him into a dream where all of his lifeguard co-workers became characters on 'Gilligan's Island' with only Gilligan portrayed by the original actor.

3] "ALF" playing "Gilligan" in episode: "Somewhere Over the Rerun" (episode # 2.2) 28 September 1987

After becoming obsessed with 'Gilligan's Island' reruns, the Alien Life Form named Gordon Schumway built his own version of the lagoon. But during a dream in which he found himself stranded with the actual Gilligan, Skipper, Professor, and Mary Ann, "ALF" decided that Reality was better than the idyllic life he imagined from TV.

Don't listen to him! "ALF" was a furball from another planet who ate cats. What does he know?

4] "Roseanne" playing "Jackie" in episode: "Sherwood Schwartz--A Loving Tribute" (episode # 7.25) 24 May 1995

This might possibly be the best of them all, mainly because it involved the elusive Tina Louise, who had sworn off any further connections to her past as Ginger Grant on the show. (She never appeared in any of the sequel TV movies.)

Dan Conner was torn between pleasing his wife and building a boat for a future adventure. He ended up day-dreaming of his life as the Skipper, while Roseanne's boss Leon became Mr. Howell, her Mom became Lovey Howell, while her sister was transformed into Gilligan, and daughter Darlene was Mary Ann.

And Roseanne? Why, she was Ginger, of course!

But the daydream got turned on its head when the actors from 'Gilligan's Island' ended up as the characters from 'Roseanne'.

Russell Johnson - Mark, Roseanne's son-in-law
Dawn Wells - Darlene
Bob Denver returned the "favor" by cross-dressing as Jackie
and Tina Louise became Roseanne.

As an added bonus, the creator of 'Gilligan's Island', Sherwood Schwartz, appeared as himself.

"Life's like a game of marbles.
No matter how pretty yours are,
The other guy's are prettier."
'Gilligan's Island'

So long, Little Buddy. And thanks for playing the Fool.


Sunday, September 25, 2005


On the fiftieth anniversary of ITV, I thought I'd write up something about.... the BBC.

Days after the final broadcast for the new 'Doctor Who' over in England, the BBC Online asked its readers for their comments about the show.

I wrote in, but I never saw my response get published. I don't think they wanted it known that somebody in the States had access to the show even though it wasn't being broadcast over here.

But here's what I sent in, submitted for your approval:

Best of all for me has been the supporting roles - from villains like Lady Cassandra to the historical figure of Dickens, fantastic new aliens like Jabe, the Jafress, the Face of Boe and Blon Slitheen.

Sure the aliens made for great visuals and they were all well-acted, but it all came down to the writing. For example, with just one short scene RTD gave us reason to sympathize with the plumber Raffalo in 'The End Of The World'. It's been weeks and I still remember her well.

Worst bit? The loss of Lady Cassandra as a recurring villain would rank up there, from one O'Brien to another.

But I think it was the loss of Gallifrey and the chance to see other Time Lords like Romana or even Susan Foreman again in one incarnation or another. But at the same time, that back history is what gave Eccleston's Doctor his wired energy I think.

And if the Daleks could survive the Time War, I suppose there's always hope for the Gallifreyans.....