AND FINALLY, DRUNKEN SANTA CAM

Sure, this video is probably fake, but so what?

It just isn't Christmas until a drunk Santa Claus kisses a car bumper in the parking garage....

Ho Ho Ho!

CHRISTMAS FOR CTHULHU

"The Old Ones" dreamed up by H.P. Lovecraft and summoned by so many other writers have their place in Toobworld as well. TV series like 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', 'Babylon 5', 'The Dresden Files', and even 'South Park' and 'The Grim Adventures Of Mandy And Billy' in the Tooniverse have utilized them as well. One of the stories in 'Night Gallery' had a professor call down their wrath.

Since Charles Manson is the featured historical character in the "As Seen On TV" showcase today, and since we're featuring Christmas-themed videos through the holidays, I figured now was as good a time as any to feature these videos about those lords of Evil.....



FISHMEN



I'M DREAMING OF A DEAD CITY



THE GREAT OLD ONES ARE COMING TO TOWN



THE MOST HORRIBLE TIME OF THE YEAR



I SAW MOMMY KISSING YOG SOTHOTH



BCnU!

VADER'S SNOW JOB

And in league with that last video.....

Ho Ho Ho!

DIRECTV'S MOST VILLAINOUS CHRISTMAS

It isn't just Charlie Brown and Cindy Lou Who celebrating the holidays, you know......

Ho Ho Ho!

DON'T SHOOT ME, SANTA!

Since I appear to be on a theme, I may as well keep running with it.

Here's a catchy, but twisted, Christmas song.....

Ho Ho Ho!

AS SEEN ON TV: MANSON

CHARLES MANSON

AS SEEN IN:
'The Ben Stiller Show'

AS PLAYED BY:
Bob Odenkirk

BCnU!

A ZONED-OUT CHRISTMAS: "THE NIGHT OF THE MEEK"

I thought it might be nice to try out the remake of the 'Twilight Zone' Christmas episode from the 1980s for today's TV holiday video.

Besides... it was all in one segment and this week has been all about saving time since I'm away from Toobworld Central!

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: WILLIAM LAMB

WILLIAM LAMB

AS SEEN IN:
"Victoria & Albert"

AS PLAYED BY:
Nigel Hawthorne

From Wikipedia:
William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne, PC, FRS (15 March 1779 – 24 November 1848) was a British Whig statesman who served as Home Secretary (1830–1834) and Prime Minister (1834 and 1835–1841), and was a mentor of Queen Victoria.

The city of Melbourne, Australia, was named in his honour in March 1837, as he was the Prime Minister at the time.

Another lasting memorial is his favourite, and most famous, dictum in politics: "Why not leave it alone?", quoted by those who object to change for change's sake.

BCnU!

"CANNONBALL CHRISTMAS"

Presenting "Cannonball Christmas" from 'Petticoat Junction', which features the best non-Scrooge Scrooge ever in Toobworld: Homer Bedloe!

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: DOCTOR RUTH

Why?

Because we all know how everybody gets at those office Christmas parties....

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER

AS SEEN ON:
'Saturday Night Live'

AS PLAYED BY:
Mary Gross

From Wikipedia:
Ruth Westheimer (born June 4, 1928) is an American sex therapist, media personality, and author. Best known as Dr. Ruth, the New York Times described her as a "Sorbonne-trained psychologist who became a kind of cultural icon in the 1980s. The Sister Wendy of sexuality, she ushered in the new age of freer, franker talk about sex on radio and television—and was endlessly parodied for her limitless enthusiasm and for having an accent only a psychologist could have."

BCnU!

HAVE A VERY "HAZEL" CHRISTMAS!

Here's a "maid to order" Christmas-themed episode of 'Hazel'. (Sorry about that, Chief.)

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: BRIAN PICCOLO

This past weekend was pretty interesting when it came to football... but that was mostly (for me, anyway) by the collapse of the Metrodome roof under all that snow.

But it put me in mind for a little football....

BRIAN PICCOLO

AS SEEN IN:
"Brian's Song"

AS PLAYED BY:
James Caan

From Wikipedia:

Louis Brian Piccolo (October 31, 1943 – June 16, 1970) was a professional football player for the Chicago Bears for 4 years. He died from embryonal cell carcinoma, an aggressive form of lung cancer, which was first diagnosed after it had spread to his chest cavity. He was the subject of the 1971 TV movie "Brian's Song". Piccolo was portrayed in the original film by James Caan and by Sean Maher in the 2001 remake.

We'll be honoring the televersion of Gale Sayers in February.....

A VERY MERRY TOBY-CHRISTMAS TO YOU!

I'll be away from Toobworld Central for the next few days celebrating the traditional Toby-Christmas with my family. I can't make it home either Christmas week or the week before New Year's (I just can't hack the idea of taking the train back into the City on either Christmas Eve or ESPECIALLY New Year's Eve!), so we're having it this early this year.

So activity will be light here at Inner Toob. There will, of course, be the daily "As Seen On TV" feature, as well as a full Christmas episode from classic TV shows each day.

I hope you all have a happy and merry - but most importantly, a safe! - Toby-Christmas!

BCnU!

HOW I SPENT WOLD NEWTON DAY

Less than two hours into Wold Newton Day, and I was talking to the actor who'll be playing the Monster in an upcoming movie called "Frankenstein Rising". (His name is Randall Malone.) And then he phoned Jerry Maren - a member of the Lollipop Guild in "The Wizard Of Oz" - so that I could say hello. (I also got to speak with Mr. Maren's charming wife Elizabeth.)

Randy also promised to bring Margaret O'Brien, one of the most popular child actors in cinema history once upon a time, to meet her "cousin" on Monday night. But I don't think any of her movies have ever been accepted into the Wold Newton Universe......

BCnU!

OHHHHH, WILMER.....

'MAGNUM, P.I.' - "A.A.P.I."

When Thomas Magnum had a dream in which he was a 1940's private eye, his sub-conscious cast loan shark Francis Hofstetler, AKA "Ice Pick", as a gangster named Wilmer.

Magnum must have picked up on the resemblance "Ice Pick" had with the movie actor Elisha Cook, Jr., especially in connection to his role as Wilmer the gunsel in the Humphrey Bogart movie "The Maltese Falcon".

"The Maltese Falcon" should not be absorbed into the TV Universe, as there are far too many reerences to it as a movie in many TV shows. (The latest was in 'Fringe' where Cary Grant played Sam Spade in that alternate TV dimension.)

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: ELIZABETH SMART

For the "Two For Tuesday" edition of the "As Seen On TV" showcase, we're twipping one from the headlines and showing two different aspects in the life of kidnap victim Elizabeth Smart.

ELIZABETH SMART

AS SEEN IN:
"The Elizabeth Smart Story"

AS PLAYED BY:
Amber Marshall

With her parents, Ed & Lois Smart
(Dylan Baker & Lindsay Frost)
With her kidnappers, Brian David Mitchell & Wanda Barzee
(Tom Everett & Hollis McLaren)

From CBS News:
The man who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart and repeatedly raped her as he held her for more than nine months has been found guilty, and faces a possible life sentence. Street preacher Brian David Mitchell, 57, took Smart, who was 14, at knife-point in the middle of the night from the bedroom of her family's Salt Lake City home in June 2002. The federal jury deliberated just over five hours to convict Mitchell.

BCnU!

CBS STEPS IN TIME

'CBS Sunday Morning' took note of Dick Van Dyke's 85th birthday with this report.....

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND TOO MANY MORE"

Today marks the 85th birthday of Dick Van Dyke. The man has been such an - well, I can't say influence exactly, because it was Morey Amsterdam as Buddy Sorrell that did more to shape my path in life. (I've often said this in the past - Buddy got paid to tell jokes, he got to sleep on the job, and he got to make fun of bald guys and I wanted to do the same. Two out of three ain't bad.)

But I admired Mr. Van Dyke greatly and I even knew as a kid that his show was the epitome of style and class for a sitcom. And that it still is one of the funniest ever just seals the deal.

Dick Van Dyke was supposed to be doing a one-man revue in California, but damage to his Achilles' heel put a kibosh on that run after only a few appearances. I hope those people who got the chance to see it will always remember how lucky they were to do so. I'm so green with envy that I've become the Incredible Bulk.

Happy birthday, Mr. Van Dyke. And thank you!

[By the way, the subject heading was the title of an episode from 'The Dick Van Dyke Show', and it so applies to this man.....]

CHEMICAL ROMANCE: "THE STANFIELD WEDDING"

In my attempts to make the tele-mosaic of the TV Universe more cohesive, my many theories could be looked upon as a form of technical fanfic. But I'm not presenting these splainins as definitive. They're just speculation as to what may have happened in order to unite various TV shows that previously had nothing in common.

As a case in point, I took the mention of a chemical company in a recent episode of 'Fringe' and swung for the fences in an attempt to connect it to such shows as 'The Avengers' and 'Columbo', plus a few other surprises.....

In December of 1961, at a British government research facility known as Dragonsfield*, tests were being conducted on a new material which would protect astronauts against radiation in outer space. This was all part of the long-range plan for Great Britain to establish a colony on the lunar surface by the late 1980's, and from there, to eventually colonize Mars. (The moon colony would be staffed with an international crew, but it would basically be a British project. The British goal to be the first to explore Mars for its suitability for colonization hit a snag in the early years of the new millennium when the exploratory spacecraft Guinevere 1 was captured by an alien race known as the Sycorax.)

Because of reports of sabotage and attacks on the personnel which led to one technician being killed by a lethal dose of radiation, intelligence agent John Steed (top professional) was at Dragonsfield to investigate these incidents. Ultimately he discovered that it was a foreign power which was behind these attacks and he uncovered the saboteur traitor within the research facility.

But the damage must have already been done to the reputation of Dragonsfield. It would have taken a few years but I think the British government eventually transferred most of their research from Dragonsfield to other, more secure, facilities around the nation. And because of strike actions by the unions in the early 1970's which severely damaged the British economy, the government would probably decide to sell the Dragonsfield research facility.

And I have the perfect suggestion for the potential buyer - millionaire industrialist Nathaniel Barrett. It probably would have been simple to convert the facility into a manufacturing plant for his chemical business. Just over a decade later, in January of 1972, D.L. Buckner planned to use his position as the corporate head of Stanford Chemicals in California to sell the corporation. He was opposed in this plan by his wife Doris, the corporation's chief lawyer (Everett Logan), and by Roger Stanford, the son of the founder of Stanford Chemicals. But Buckner planned on forcing Roger to support the plan by employing blackmail. The information gathered on Roger would put him out of favor with his Aunt Doris, who thought the world of her favored nephew.

Roger Stanford saw no recourse but to murder his uncle before D.L. Buckner could put his plan into motion. With an ingenious bomb designed to make Buckner's death look like a tragic mountain road car accident, Roger could have pulled off the perfect crime had any other detective investigated the case - other than Lt. Columbo.

Lieutenant Columbo at the Stanford Chemicals plant.

From this point on, with regards to Stanford Chemicals, it once again becomes speculation. It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble (as Muskie Muskrat would say in 'Deputy Dawg'), that Doris Buckner - with the advice of Elliott Logan - finally decided to sell Stanford Chemicals. I can't see her wanting to keep it - not with its association to the death of her husband, murdered by her beloved nephew. (It all sounds much too Shakespearean!)

And if she did finally sell the corporation, may I suggest as the buyer one Nathaniel Barrett? And with that deal, Barrett would have capitalized on the merger to become a billionaire industrialist, rather than just a millionaire.....

We never met Nathaniel Barrett in Toobworld. By the time he was first mentioned in a series (December of 2010), he apparently had been dead for some time.

But he had amassed a fortune, all centered on his leading corporation which was known as Stanfield Chemical. And I'm going to suggest that he came up with that name by blending together the names of his two major holdings, which made his industrial base an international power in the financial market:

Stanford Chemicals + Dragonsfield = Stanfield Chemical

Nathaniel Barrett's sole heir to the Stanfield Chemical fortune was his son, Roland David Barrett. Like Roger Stanford, Roland Barrett was a brilliant research scientist who made significant advances in the field of synthetic life on a cellular level.

That means he could actually bring the dead back to life.
But Roland was mentally unstable. He was fixated on a young ballerina named Amanda Walsh whom he knew in group therapy. After Amanda committed suicide, he was determined to bring her back to life. However, this meant that he not only had to steal her corpse, but to harvest the transplanted organs which had been donated by her grieving family.

Once he put her back together, Barrett successfully brought life back to the body, but whatever he had brought back, it was not his beloved Amanda. It was more of an empty vessel, closer to a feral animal.
At any point, this is just a wild theory based on the mention of the Stanfield Chemical fortune and how it might have come into existence. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll find a future for that corporation hidden away in the trivia of some other show, which I could then bring into this particular portion of the Toobworld "Great Link"....

SHOWS CITED:
'The Avengers' - "Dragonsfield"
'Space: 1999'
'Doctor Who' - "The Christmas Invasion"
'Columbo' - "Short Fuse"
'Fringe' - "Marionette"

* The "Dragonsfield" episode of 'The Avengers' is lost, victim to that insane BBC policy to wipe their tapes for re-use. Most of the paperwork, including scripts, is gone. Apparently no one is quite sure what the title actually meant, but the best guess is that "Dragonsfield" was the name of the research facility.


BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: HARDEEN

In celebration of Wold Newton Day.....

From Win Scott Eckert's Wold Newton Universe website:

On Historical Figures:
As frequent site visitors can tell, the guidelines for this site are in a state of evolution. Therefore, regarding the use of historical personages as crossover links, in the early days of this site, I often used a fictional character meeting an historical character as a way of linking in different fictional characters. After a while, though, it became obvious that certain historical characters made this problematic, Adolph Hitler or Jack the Ripper being two prime examples. Who hasn't met them in some fictional tale? Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that no more fictional characters should be added on that basis, although I will not retroactively exclude characters previously brought in that way.

A side rule to this is that fictional descendants and/or relatives of fictionalized versions of real people can be used to make additions to the Wold Newton Universe, because this type of crossover is not as over-utilized as the fictional-character-meets-real-person scenario.

An example of the fictional relative crossover is a character on the television program Alias stating that he is the great-nephew of Harry Houdini. Since a strongly fictionalized version of Houdini exists in the WNU, this brings in Alias.

Furthermore, if an historical person becomes a character in a fictional series, that is the Wold Newton version of that person. Therefore, the "Mark Twain-as-a-sleuth" series of mystery books will come in through a meeting with Inspector Lestrade, because this is not "our" universe's Mark Twain, it's the Wold Newton version of Twain. The same goes for Harry Houdini's numerous appearance in the Newtonverse.
- Win Scott Eckert

(The link to Win's fantastic website can be found to the left, Toob Believers.)

In celebration of Wold Newton Day today, our "As Seen On TV" showcase features an historical figure related to one of those aforementioned "characters"......

THEO HARDEEN

AS SEEN IN:
'Boardwalk Empire'

AS PLAYED BY:
Remy Auberjenois

From Wikipedia:
Theodore Hardeen (March 4, 1876 – June 12, 1945), known simply as Hardeen, was a magician and escape artist, best known as Harry Houdini's brother. Hardeen usually introduced himself as the "brother of Houdini." He was the founder of the Magician's Guild.

Hardeen was born as Ferencz Dezso Weisz or Weisz Ferenc Dezso in Budapest, Austria-Hungary, and went by the name of Theodore Weiss when the family was living in Appleton, Wisconsin. He was known as "Deshi" and later "Dash" by his parents.

It was Hardeen who first conceived of escaping from a straitjacket in full view of the audience — a concept fully used by Houdini and generations of performers since.

Will Goldston, English stage magician and editor of the Magician Annual, wrote that:

Hardeen learnt his business from Houdini, and he learnt it well, as no man could have failed to do with such a master. But the natural ability was always there. Even if Houdini had not existed to point the way, it is quite likely that Hardeen would have become an escape artiste. I have seen him perform several times, and have marvelled at his achievements. The huge chains in the cartoon are hardly an exaggeration of those from which he breaks loose. The handcuffs but a simple thing compared with those with which he is used to toy. Hardeen, like his more famous brother Harry Houdini is a great favourite in the magical world. He is a man of considerable culture and one of the best raconteurs I have ever met. Like Houdini, he is willing to expend both time and money freely to further the cause of magic. Both the amateurs and the professionals of our number regard him as a friend. And the general public regard him as a brilliant artiste and a thrilling entertainer. After his brother's death in 1926 Hardeen played the vaudeville circuit, doing many of Houdini's routines. From 1938 to 1941, Hardeen was featured in Olsen and Johnson's Broadway revue, Hellzapoppin, and during World War II he performed for the troops (as his brother had done during World War I).

Planning on writing a book about his brother, in 1945 Hardeen went to New York's Doctor's Hospital for a simple operation. He unexpectedly died of complications while recovering from the procedure. He was 69 years old.

The image of Hardeen related in Wikipedia and by Mr. Goldston clashes with his portrayal in 'Boardwalk Empire'. In 1920 Atlantic City, he's seen as being somewhat incompetent, a mere shadow of his famous brother's legend as a performer. This was probably tweaked so that it could serve as a mirror to the relationship between Nucky Thompson and his brother Eli.

It may not be the actual truth, but it must serve as such in the TV Universe because that's what was broadcast.....

Whether 'Boardwalk Empire' ever makes it into the Wold Newton Universe is up to Win. But it's certainly a strong part of the 1920's era in Toobworld!

BCnU!

[My thanks to Win Scott Eckert and his WNU colleagues. Sometimes I dedicate an Inner Toob post to somebody I know. Today that "honor" goes to Win.....]

HAPPY WOLD NEWTON DAY, 2010!

Since today is Wold Newton Day, which was the inspiration for the Wold Newton Universe (a shared fictional universe primarily concerned with pulp heroes), I'm providing the link back to my O'Bservation of that cosmic event.

Along with books by Fletcher Pratt & L. Sprague deCamp and Marvin Kaye, Philip Jose Farmer's creation of the Wold Newton Universe concept was an inspiration for my own paltry playground of Toobworld.

BCnU!

A CHRISTMAS SONG FOR "DEXTER"

2010 XMAS X-OVER

This week's episode of 'Warehouse 13' provided the Christmas crossover for 2010, and it was an historical one at that. You might think that would be enough, but wrong, Reindeer Breath!

In "Secret Santa", Agent Pete Latimer related the story of the 1914 Christmas truce between British and German soldiers:

And that same event was depicted in Paul McCartney's music video for his song "Pipes Of Peace":

Who knows? Maybe that shell casing came from one of the two soldiers played by Paul McCartney.....

Ho Ho Ho!

MAYHEM FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Kicking off the first Sunday edition of Video Weekend's Christmas theme this year, here's a blipvert starring one of the best new TV characters of 2010 (as the Toobits Awards will confirm in January.)

Ho Ho Ho!

AS SEEN ON TV: JULIAN ASSANGE

JULIAN ASSANGE

AS SEEN ON:
'Saturday Night Live'

AS PLAYED BY:
Bill Hader

From ABC (Australian Broadcasting Company):

By Europe correspondent Emma Alberici
ABC staff
December 7th, 2010
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is in jail after a London court refused him bail pending an extradition hearing.Assange appeared at the Westminster Magistrates Court overnight on one count of unlawful coercion, two counts of sexual molestation and one count of rape.

The alleged crimes were all said to have been committed in Sweden in August of this year.

Assange spoke in court only to confirm his name and address and to say that he did not consent to be returned to Sweden.

Also in this video:
President Barak Obama - Fred Armisen
Muammar Khadafi - Fred Armisen
Hamid Kharzai - Robert DeNiro
Hillary Clinton - Vanessa Beyer
Vice President Joe Biden - Jason Sudeikis

BCnU!