Saturday, October 29, 2005


There have been over a hundred alternate TV dimensions seen, thanks mostly to 'Sliders', but also due to 'Futurama', 'Star Trek', and the various science fiction anthology series.

And each of them is home to Holmes.

Currently there are a handful of "active" dimensions, thanks to the popularity of working the White House into so many different TV series. (All of the other dimensions are still out there, but they're just not being seen at present, much like so many TV characters after their shows have been canceled.)

So after the dimensions of the main Toobworld, the evil mirror version, and Earth Prime-Time Delay, home of the remakes, all of the other dimensions can be summed up pretty much by who's the POTUS for each of them. For each of them, I've assigned a Sherlock Holmes.

First off, a recap of the Big Three dimensions:

Jeremy Brett (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . "Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The" (1984) TV Series
. . . "Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, The" (1990) TV Series
. . . "Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The" (1994) TV Series
. . . "Return of Sherlock Holmes, The" (1986) TV Series
. . . Eligible Bachelor, The (1993) (TV)
. . . Hound of the Baskervilles, The (1988) (TV)
. . . Last Vampyre, The (1993) (TV)
. . . Master Blackmailer, The (1992) (TV)
. . . Sign of Four, The (1987) (TV)

Alan Wheatley (II) (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . "Sherlock Holmes" (1951) (mini) TV Series

Ronald Howard (I) (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . "Sherlock Holmes" (1954) TV Series

And now on to the other dimensions, not only of sight but sound......

Douglas Wilmer (Sherlock Holmes (1965)
. . . "Sherlock Holmes" (1965) TV Series
. . . Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, The (1975)

Yet another series which debuted on Television nearly twenty years before the Sherlock Holmes chosen to be the official representative for the main Toobworld. So in order to honor Mr. Wilmer's contribution to Sherlockiana, we've assigned his TV series to the dimension which houses the finest show about the ideal of Washington politics.

And don't hold the fact that he portrayed the Great Detective in the Gene Wilder comedy against him. First off, that's a different universe, let alone a dimension, and has no bearing on Toobworld. And secondly, Mr. Wilmer conducted himself with dignity in his portrayal of Holmes while all about him were operating at the same level of Mr. Wilder's manic high.

Peter Cushing (Sherlock Holmes (1968))
. . . "Sherlock Holmes" (1965) TV Series
. . . Hound of the Baskervilles, The (1959)
. . . Masks of Death, The (1984) (TV)

For the final year of that 1960s TV series about Sherlock Holmes, the character was portrayed by noted genre actor Peter Cushing. He had earlier assayed the role in a Hammer film about the most famous of Holmes' cases, ("The Hound Of The Baskervilles"), and would return to the role in his penultimate performance ("The Masks Of Death").

In its final year, 'The West Wing' has been joined by a rival show about the White House and its occupants - ABC's 'Commander-In-Chief', starring Geena Davis as the first female President. There have been a lot of articles out there comparing the two shows, weighing their merits and debits, as there might have been when Mr. Cushing took over the role of Holmes from Mr. Wilmer. That's why I've assigned his year of the series to the same dimension as 'Commander-In-Chief'.

[By the way, that's how I got around splainin the recastaway of Holmes in that series. Rather than blather on about Quantum leaps or plastic surgery or alien abductions, the change in appearance was due to the viewpoint coming from an entirely different dimension.]

Matt Frewer (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . Case of the Whitechapel Vampire, The (2002) (TV)
. . . Hound of the Baskervilles, The (2000) (TV)
. . . Royal Scandal, The (2001) (TV)
. . . Sign of Four, The (2001) (TV)

This world, in which a single day is played out over an entire season, always feels a bit off to me. Even with the time constraint of having each hour show be an hour in real time, certain actions are still edited down to go faster than reality and yet the producers still found a need to include certain time-filler/killer subplots to stretch it out to a full 24 hours.

So I can think of no better portrayal of Holmes that conveyed the same sense of being... not-quite-right than Matt Frewer in these four TV movies based on the Conan Doyle novels and short stories.

Geoffrey Whitehead (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . "Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson" (1980) TV Series

It's not because this series was produced in Poland, (which I couldn't resist mentioning however!), but this series wasn't very highly regarded. I'm not saying then that this is the reason it should be set in a world where Patricia Wettig is an evil Vice-President; but Mr. Whitehead's ineffectual performance might have contributed to this dimension being such an overall downer.

Christopher Lee (I) (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . Incident at Victoria Falls (1991) (TV)
. . . Sherlock Holmes and the Leading Lady (1992) (TV)
. . . Sherlock Holmes und das Halsband des Todes (1962)

I designated an alternate dimension for all of those TV movies in which there was a fictional President of the United States rather than the Real World Commander In Chief at the time. And surprisingly, the chronological timeline matched up pretty well - so long as they all served only one term in office. (And some of them had to die in office after the TV movie ended, to be replaced by their Vice President - that was for those TV movies that followed too quickly on the heels of the preceding POTUS.)

So of all the Holmes portrayed in more than one TV movie (my only criteria for consideration), Christopher Lee stands head and shoulders above all the others. And considering the fact that he's about six foot seven, we can take that literally!

The only other actor I seriously considered was Stewart Granger, who portrayed Holmes in a true ABC Movie Of The Week back in the mid-1970s. But the addition of a theatrical appearance as Holmes capped it for Mr. Lee, even though I will always think of him as Sherlock's brother Mycroft in the Billy Wilder film "The Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes".


John Cleese (Sherlock Holmes)
. . . Elementary My Dear Watson (1973) (TV)
John Cleese (Arthur Sherlock Holmes)
. . . Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It, The (1977)

This dimension is populated by shows in which several real-world Presidents are portrayed as absolute morons: 'That's My Bush!', and 'The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer'.....(which concerned the presidency of Abraham Lincoln).

It's Cleese's turn as the grandson Arthur Sherlock Holmes that seals the fate of his performances to banishment into this realm.

So that concludes the look at Sherlock Holmes in the POTUS-driven TV dimensions. There are still other actors to consider in future articles.


Friday, October 28, 2005


George Takei, who as helmsman Sulu steered the Starship Enterprise through three television seasons and six movies, has come out as a homosexual in the current issue of Frontiers, a biweekly gay and lesbian Los Angeles magazine.
- news story

You gotta figure the staff at David Spade's Show Business Show are poring over all of the old 'Star Trek' episodes in hopes of finding that one key scene to lampoon Mr. Takei's statement.

There'll probably be lots of shots from that episode where Sulu was shirtless and covered with a sheen of sweat..........

Good luck to you, Mr. Takei. Coming out must have been hard enough; to do so when you know there are jerks like me out there thinking of ways to make fun of your admission marked real bravery.

Live long and prosper.


Thursday, October 27, 2005


Picked up a few new boots today to add to the Library here at Toobworld Central.

'Bourbon Street Beat' - I've never seen this series, but I have seen some of its characters in other shows. As part of the WB stable of detective shows back in the late fifties, 'Bourbon Street Beat' was able to ride the coat-tails of shows like '77 Sunset Strip' and 'Hawaiian Eye' via crossovers. Not for long though - the show didn't last.

But the character of Rex Randolph moved on to join '77 Sunset Strip' and Kenny Madison headed over to 'Surfside Six'.

I picked up this disc (containing the episodes "Torch Song For Trumpet" and "Secret Of The Hyacinth Bayou", both from 1959) just to see the location shots used from New Orleans; considering how much was lost not only through the decades, but in just the flooding of this year.

'Science Fiction Theater' - This anthology series predated 'The Twilight Zone'. In it, the stories were based on theories and ideas culled from actual scientific data available at that time.

The episodes are "Facsimile", "Killer Tree", "Gravity Zero", "Magic Suitcase", "Bolt Of Lightning", "Strange Lodger", and "Sound That Kills".

'Manimal' - Please don't look at me like that. This disc contains not only the 90 minute pilot for this series about a man who could turn into animals, but also an episode of 'Nightman' in which the Manimal showed up in a crossover. (The cover of the disc calls the second series 'Darkman' in error.)

'Unaired Pilots Volume Three' - There are four shows on this disc that are more familiar in other incarnations. But each of them should yield plenty of interesting essays and theories for this televisiologist.

'Wilbur Pope & Mr. Ed'
'Gilligan's Island'
'It's A Small World' (became 'Leave It To Beaver')
"Seven Against The Sea" (as part of 'Fred Astaire's Premier Theatre' and which would later become 'McHale's Navy')

I'll let you know what kind of nuggets I find in these shows.....



Now that Harriet Miers has at last fallen on the sword, can we hope for a TV movie reenactment of the disaster in her nomination to be a Supreme Court Justice?

To a conspiracy-minded fellow such as myself, it's o'bvious that she had to withdraw today in order to deflect attention from the coming indictments in the "Plamegate" scandal. After all, the White House has already gone to the terror threat well far too many times when things were looking badly for those krelboynes.

But the real hook to lure in the viewers for the Harriet Miers story? Sorry, my theory is actionable and I'm not going to mention it here.

Now, as to the casting for the movie.... Well, Timothy Bottoms as George W. Bush is the only logical choice for Toobworld. But for Harriet Miers?

Two weeks ago, recommended Amy Sedaris from 'Candy With Strangers', and the resemblance between her character of Jerri Blank and Bush's law-puppy is kind of scary.

But I'd go with someone who has more name recognition for the home viewers in Middle America. I'm not normally interested in the real world backstage details of TV production, but if I'm producing this sucker, I'm going for the ratings!

And that's why I'm nominating Swoosie Kurtz.

Hopefully she won't withdraw herself from consideration until my Toobworld Inner Circle Jerks are about to be indicted.......


*Thanks to Shapnet for suggesting the headline.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


'Masterpiece Theatre' presented us with another portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, as played by Rupert Everett in the non-canonical "Sherlock Holmes And The Case Of The Silk Stocking". This makes about thirty different actors to have played the role on TV - and that's not including appearances in single episodes or in commercials.

Luckily we have 'Sliders' to set the precedent for multiple dimensions for the planet Earth, which just plays off the Many Worlds Theory of Hugh Everett.

In the TV Universe, Sherlock Holmes is indeed a real person and exists in all off-shoots of the original TV Land. That means we've got plenty of dimensions in which to spread the wealth of his company.

Characters with multiple portayals should get some order of priority. And I think those characters who were regulars on TV series should move to the head of the class.

PBS already presented us with the definitive Holmes from 1984 to 1994: Jeremy Brett assaying the role. However, his wasn't the first production of a series about the Great Detective, and usually that should take precedence.


Previously, Sherlock Holmes was portrayed by Alan Wheatley in a 1951 series, and then by Ronald Howard in a 1954 version. By all rights, Jeremy Brett falls to third in line for the premier slot in Earth Prime-Time. He wouldn't even qualify then for Earth Prime-Time Delay. (For instance - 'The Addams Family' is on the main Toobworld; 'The New Addams Family' can be found on Earth Prime-Time Delay.)

However, as one of the Caretakers for the TV Universe, I sometimes make exceptions. When it comes to remakes, I once banished the original to Earth Prime-Time Delay and kept the remake for the main TV dimension. That was for "The Incredible World of Horace Ford". The original version was presented as an episode of 'Studio One' on June 13th, 1955, with Art Carney in the lead role. And then on April 18th, 1963, Pat Hingle played Horace Ford in a new version on 'The Twilight Zone'. And while it may not be as memorable as 'Zone' episodes starring Burgess Meredith and Billy Mumy, this version is the one that gets mentioned most often in the "history books".

I have a good reason for letting Jeremy Brett's Holmes leap-frog over Ronald Howard's and Alan Wheatley's. His series covered the entire canon of Dr. Watson's stories. (Conan Doyle was only their literary agent.) Some of Howard's episodes may have been culled from the original stories, but most were created for the show. If I'm not mistaken, the same could be said for Wheatley's version.

So where do we lump these other two guys? Since Ronald Howard's version was the first remake, I'll send that along to Earth Prime-Time Delay. But as for Alan Wheatley's Sherlock Holmes? Well, why not to the Evil Mirror TV Dimension made most famous by the various 'Star Trek' series? That's not to say his Sherlock Holmes was evil; not everybody from that dimension had to be evil. Just that their surroundings and the general atmosphere of the world throughout History was EVIL!!!!!!

That still leaves plenty of other interpretations of Sherlock Holmes from even more TV series which need to find stately homes in England; not to mention the many one-shot TV movies and specials.

Yes...... I smell a series of blog essays on this topic. The game's afoot!


Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Called the "Mother of the Civil Rights Movement", Rosa Parks passed away yesterday in Detroit at the age of 92. As the New York Daily News put it on their front page - which was dedicated totally to her today, a singular honor - she refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white man and by doing so, she changed America.

Her role in the civil rights movement during the 1950s (The seminal event will be marking its 50th anniversary in less than two months.) has been depicted several times and from different angles in Toobworld:

Jonelle Allen (Rosa Parks)
. . . American Woman: Portraits of Courage, The (1976) (TV)
Angela Bassett (Rosa McCauley Parks)
. . . Rosa Parks Story, The (2002) (TV)
Yolanda King (Rosa Parks)
. . . "King" (1978) (mini) TV Series
Iris Little Thomas (Rosa Parks)
. . . Boycott (2001) (TV)

As expected, Rosa Parks appeared as herself in many documentaries and TV specials centered on the cause:

Intimate Portrait: Rosa Parks (2001) (TV) .... Herself
Of Civil Wrongs & Rights: The Fred Korematsu Story (2000) .... Herself
21st NAACP Image Awards (1989) (TV) .... Herself
19th Annual NAACP Image Awards (1987) (TV) .... Herself - Presenter

Many of those documentaries used archival footage from those turbulent times:

Mighty Times: The Legacy of Rosa Parks (2002) .... Herself
The Rosa Parks Story (2002) (TV) (uncredited) .... Herself
The Speeches of Malcolm X (1997) (V) .... Herself (leads march into Montgomery beside Abernathy)
"Eyes on the Prize" (1987) (mini) .... Herself
In Remembrance of Martin (1986) (uncredited) .... Herself (rides bus)

But surprisingly, she also joined the League of Themselves by portraying herself in episodic TV. Not so surprisingly, it was a dramatic series with an overabundance of heart and meaning:

"Touched by an Angel" playing "Herself" in episode: "Black Like Monica" (episode # 5.23) 2 May 1999

Actually, I'm kind of surprised certain shows didn't find a way to have this defiant legend appear in one of their episodes as herself, or have her history depicted within the framework of their show - 'The Cosby Show', 'I'll Fly Away', and especially 'Any Day Now' which took place in Birmingham, Alabama, in the 1990s with flashbacks back to the early 1960s. (And now having typed that, I better check their episode guides to be sure....)

Addendum: If Ms. Parks was mentioned in any particular episode of 'Any Day Now', it would have been in this one, I'm guessing...

Episode #35 - "Say Something"
First aired: 12/5/1999
In the flashback, Rene learns the power of words when she encourages an elderly black man to sit in the front of a public bus. When the man is severely beaten by two white boys, Rene feels guilty about her words and vows never to speak again.
[Thanks to]

With her passing, and thus with a renewed attention to the life she lived, we may see Rosa Parks depicted yet again in the TV Universe. Not that it's any high honor or anything, but she's already secured herself a place in the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, thanks to those actresses who have represented her in Toobworld.

May she rest in peace.



TV crossovers are only part of the whole concept for Toobworld. We also find splainins for discrepancies like the classic "Two Darrins" and for things that can't be found in the Real World, like talking horses.

But when it comes to the crossovers, the basic building block for the TV Universe, we don't just include the official crossovers - where's the sport in that? We also include the theoretical links. As far as we're concerned, all of the TV shows are connected already; we just haven't made the actual connections yet.

It's somewhat like Intelligent Design, only not completely thought out and sometimes with sloppy results.

On second thought, based on how things are turning out in the Real World, it's exactly like Intelligent Design.

And in those theoretical links are those forged by the League of Themselves, those people who appear as themselves in fictional settings. Other crossoverologists may not acknowledge the League of Themselves, but I can't see why not. They're just as fictional as Andy Sipowicz and Spongebob Squarepants.

And it's the League of Themselves that provides our Crossover Of The Week.

Near the end of last season, Jake hired Neil Sedaka to serenade a girl with whom he was smitten. Only it turned out that it was Jon Secada she really liked; Secada, not Sedaka.

Even Neil Sedaka himself thought there was something off about the idea. Oh well, at least Mr. Sedaka could take solace in the decades-long "friendship" he had with Arthur of Queens. The regular missives from his pen pal kept Neil Sedaka feeling young.

('Jake In Progress', 'The King of Queens'

Neil Sedaka was also fictionalized further by an actor playing his younger self in a 2003 episode of 'American Dreams', in which Sedaka was performing on 'American Bandstand'.

(Whether he really did or not, I'm not sure.)

Nevertheless, his appearances as himself on 'The King of Queens' and 'Jake In Progress' put him two-thirds of the way towards induction into the League of Themselves chapter of the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

Who knows? Maybe these appearances are the first steps toward giving Neil Sedaka the type of "street cred" cache that Tony Bennett got after appearing on MTV.

Or maybe not.


This week's Crossover of the Week!

And if the idea of the League of Themselves troubles ya..... I'm afraid it's probably going to be responsible for next week's crossover as well!

My bat - er, bad......


Monday, October 24, 2005


When I questioned the fate of Noble Willingham's character in 'Walker, Texas Ranger', my tele-bloggin' ally in the Great White North, Brent McKee, gave me most of the details:

Noble Willingham's character died two or three years before the series ended, for an interesting reason. Willingham tried running for Congress in Texas, so of course he couldn't be on the show. I don't think he made it past the primaries but they wrote him off permanently.

He also added that the character of CD Parker was a recastaway:

Incidentally, the pilot for Walker had C.D. played by an actor who deserves Toobworld status of some sort, Mr. Gailard Sartain.

(You can find the link to Brent's blog there to the left.)

My knee-jerk splainin for the change in C.D.'s appearance was to label it a 'Quantum Leap' case from beyond Dr. Beckett's own future. Gailard Sartain has the look of a researcher. And a well-fed one at that - probably got a lot of grant money to use on dinner.

But I wasn't happy with my splainin; too much of a quick fix, and not in keeping with the general tone of the show. (In Toobworld, all shows may be in the same universe, but that doesn't mean I expect to see the Muppets guest star on 'Killer Instinct' anytime soon!)

So after giving it as little thought as possible (precious few brain cells to spare as it is!), I've decided to go with an established splainin for recasting - medical deterioration of the character.

We've seen various reasons for this in the past; Captain Christopher Pike on 'Star Trek' (radiation poisoning) Is a famous example. For C.D. Parker's reason, we have a precedent seen on 'All In The Family' - Tommy Kelsey, owner of Kelsey's Bar.

From 1973 to 1977, Bob Hastings had recurring status as Kelsey (and in Toobworld genealogy, he may be a nephew to Elroy Carpenter of 'McHale's Navy'.)

For the first two seasons of 'All In The Family', Brendan Dillon was tending bar, but I don't think he should be considered as Kelsey. Now I don't always hold with what I read in the, but as they list Brendan Dillon only as "Bartender" for three episodes of 'All In The Family', I'll cite them for my theory.

"Bartender" in episode: "Mike's Problem" (episode # 2.9) 20 November 1971
"Bartender" in episode: "Archie Is Jealous" (episode # 2.23) 4 March 1972
"Bartender" in episode: "Gloria and the Riddle" (episode # 3.3) 7 October 1972

If Mr. Dillon was ever addressed as Kelsey in the show, then he could be a brother or some other relative. But it's not believable that there would be only one publican at Kelsey's.

(Brendan Dillon showed up in a later episode - "Boy's Night Out", 2/13/83 - as a customer at another bar and could conceivably be the same guy.)

When it came time to change direction for 'All In The Family', it was decided that Kelsey should have a stroke and end up selling the bar to Archie. And to best illustrate that Tommy Kelsey was too incapacitated by the stroke to continue, the show-runners decided to recast. Frank Maxwell was brought in to play the hospitalized Kelsey for that last performance.

(I don't know why, but my memory for all these years had the role played by Bert Remsen. But the research - including a picture from the episode - makes it clear that it was indeed Maxwell.)

So that's what I think happened in the case of C.D. Parker. Remember C.D. Parker? This is a post about C.D. Parker.

At some point after the pilot for 'Walker, Texas Ranger', but before the regular series began, Parker suffered a stroke. He was able to recover from it for the most part, but it left him looking older, more lined with care, a bit wan and drawn; and although it might be debatable that he lost weight, C.D. was a bit thinner in the face.

Brent also wrote:

The nature of his death was even part of the series finale - let's just say it looked natural.

Write back and give us the details, Brent. I'm keen to hear!


"Showing respect for the Dead is important,
Because the Dead have an image problem."
Alex Keaton
'Family Ties'

Sunday, October 23, 2005


Here are just a few bits o' trivia which help to flesh out and expand the TV Universe.
Now if only some of the other shows used these items so that I could make the crossover.....

Jeffersonian Institute Natural History Museum
"Bred To The Bone" by Dr. Temperance Brennan
Hanover Preparatory Academy in Maryland

New Burbage Shakespeare Festival
Jack Crew, action star
"Ending" a movie

Paddy's Bar

Metro News One - cable TV channel

Brennan's Toothpaste

NEN - National Evening News
UKN - United Kingdom News

NN-AM cable channel
'Bear In The House' - game show

"Love Vigilantes"
"The Meaning of Velocity"
"The Unreasonable Truth of Butterflies"
"My Vagina Scares You"
Mountain United Film Festival (M.U.F.F.)

Delta Vee MicroSystems
KBEX TV station
'In The Cross Hairs' - political commentary

The Dharma Initiative
The Hanso Institute

Not that 'Even Stevens' of The Disney Channel is a new show, but I found this bit o' trivia to be interesting:

The breakfast cereal prominently displayed as it was poured in one of the episodes was "Sugar Bombs", the same cereal favored by Calvin in the classic comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes".

Neil Sedaka - 'The King Of Queens'

This will always be a work in progress throughout the season.....



Here are just a few O'Bservations which I didn't feel like expounding on further.....

I belong to an interesting e-mail group with the misleading name of "The Question Of The Week".

One of the most recent questions was:


One of the many answers I gave was:

"The Brothers Kolchak" - Actually it's "Supernatural", but let's face it! These guys are Carl's grand-kids!

I meant it as a joke, especially the idea that it will be a hit. This show has bad acting from half its cast - and by that I mean Jensen Ackles. (I know he must have his fans, but I'd rather piss them off than the Jared Padelecki contingent.)

It also has bad writing. I know a show is going to suck if it falls back on "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" without any note of sarcasm or irony.
'Threshold' has the acting chops. 'Surface' has a more expansive storyline with potential for its sense of underlying menace. 'Invasion' may have squandered its potential because the life has been sucked out of the pace of its direction and acting. I think it may have been directed by one of the Pod People.

I think all three will at least ride out the full season. 'Surface' has a good shot towards captializing on its initial ratings. 'Invasion' will continue to ride the coat-tails of 'Lost' through May. 'Threshold' may need to be moved from Fridays if it starts to hurt the numbers of 'Numb3rs', but it should still go full-year.

(That was the first time I ever had to type 'Numb3rs'. There, I did it again! It feels stupid......)
I thought it was good and more importantly, funny. But I couldn't see why the ad execs and many critics were raving about it. There really wasn't anything we hadn't seen before.

But it's up against 'Joey'. It's going to come out of its freshman year smelling sweet for UPN!
An engaging duo of leads in David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel, a quirky trio of forensic anthropologists as their support team, and mysteries that aren't too grim and on the right side of gruesome. So far I'm finding the show passing by breezily.
Neil Patrick Harris deserves all the praise he's getting. And Alyson Hannigan should erase any doubts about whether or not she could carry her own sitcom. The format of this sitcom is familiar and radical at the same time; a nice combination. The writing is fresh and the characters are people I'd like to hang around with. The surprise ending for the pilot gives me hope the show's creators can continue to keep their audience on their toes. And unlike Denise Richards, Cobie Smulders is not only beautiful but she can act. Like they used to say about Smucker's jam, with a name like that, she's got to be good!
In the beginning, 'The West Wing' tried to act as though it was set in the "near future", but they lost their credibility on that when they focused on the upcoming Millennium in an episode.

'Commander-In-Chief' is at least six years into our future. President Teddy Roosevelt Bridges served four years as Vice President and two as the POTUS.

And the Bush II administration existed in their alt. dimension. Vice President Cheney was mentioned by name in the pilot, and the biggest lie foised on the American Public by the Bush White House (so far) was referred to as "WMD-Gate".

Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it?




I caught a preview for this week's episode of 'CSI: NY'. (Airing Wednesay at 10 pm on CBS)

Here's what we can expect:

"Mac, Stella and Det. Flack investigate the death of a young dancer who fell from the Queensborough Bridge and crashed through a car's windshield. Danny and Dr. Hawkes investigate a South Bronx fish vendor who was impaled by a swordfish. Lindsay looks into the death of a Roosevelt Island Tram driver whose body was found by morning commuters."
[Thanks to]

In the commercial, Danny evinces surprise that someone could be killed by a swordfish. If he had only studied the records archived at the NYC medical examiner's office, he would have seen this was hardly the first time a swordfish was used as a murder weapon in the Big Apple.

Back in March of 1988, author Jessica Fletcher invested in Alice's Farm Restaurant. One of the owners, the maitre d' Chaz Crewe, was later found murdered in the walk-in freezer, and it was some time before it could be determined that the murder weapon was a swordfish.

('Murder, She Wrote' - "Just Another Fish Story", broadcast March 27th, 1988)

I think those archived records should be required reading by all of Mac Taylor's team. Among the other deaths that would be considered "highlights" would be a police officer found beaten to death in his own home. The murder weapon turned out to be a frozen leg of lamb... not that it could ever be proved. As it turned out, the investigating detectives ate the evidence!

('Alfred Hitchcock Presents' - "Lamb To The Slaughter")

Cue up Tom Waits with a little "SwordfishTrombones".......



The multi-millionaire Lottery winner Hugo Reyes, known to one and all as "Hurley" (Why? He's not telling!) has been 'Lost' for over a year, after the plane crash of Oceanic Flight 815.

Whew! Let me catch my breath. I'm too out of shape for such run-on sentences.....

Anyway, once he won the Mega Jackpot by playing the numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42), Hurley's luck changed for the worse. His grandfather died; his new house burned down; he got mistakenly arrested as a drug dealer; his mother's ankle got twisted.

And then he got on that cursed flight out of Australia and was never heard from again - by anybody in the outside world.

But that doesn't mean the curse isn't still plying its evil ways on his family back home!

Over this past summer, one of his cousins, Enrique Reyes, was killed in the line of duty 'Over There' in Iraq. Enrique left behind his wife Ana and a baby.

I'll have to find some site that doles out plenty of 'Over There' trivia to see if there's a timeline as to what day or month Enrique Reyes died; what was his platoon, etc. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that some of those cursed numbers were involved.

Do you think it's too much of a coincidence that Hugo Reyes might be related to Enrique Reyes? Or even to FBI Agent Monica Reyes from the last seasons of 'The X-Files'? Then you haven't been paying attention to the minutiae of 'Lost'. The TV Universe is built upon coincidence, but 'Lost' goes into over-drive to keep it all connected.

And it's the type of theoretical link that should be fairly safe. By the time Hugo gets home - if ever! - neither show will probably be around long enough for him to discover that his cousin is dead. Nor is there any reason for us to see such a scene, as a matter of fact.

Not that one would be necessary. Lots of stuff happens off-screen which we are not privy to, but we still have to accept it on faith that they happened.

Just ask Chekov and Khan when they met again for the first time in "The Wrath of Khan".....



In an effort to get Lucas to stop rhapsodizing over their teamwork, Ramsey called him "Starsky". For the audience, this was a joke reference to the TV show 'Starsky And Hutch', which starred David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser. What adds another layer to the joke is that Ramsey obviously sees himself as "Tiger Beat-dreamy" Hutch.

But for Toobworld's inner reality, that joke shouldn't fly. Starsky and Hutch were two L.A. police detectives working the beat in the 1970s... and in the same dimension as 'Threshold', the show which features Ramsey and Lucas.

But there's an easy splainin. The TV Universe must recognize the recent movie version of 'Starsky And Hutch' which starred Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. For the purposes of having a movie based on these two cops, Starsky and Hutch must have done something extraordinary to warrant the big-screen treatment (in much the same way Oliver Stone is making a movie in the real world about the last two Port Authority cops to make it out of the World Trade Center alive).

In this way, there is no Zonk! and once again Toobworld is made safe in its universal integrity.

Just doing my job, Ma'am.

(And if you're a guy reading this, sorry. I have a cold.)