Thursday, April 24, 2014



Detective Jim Halloran was trapped in a light-house with its keeper, Andy Stephenson and his daughter Linda when a gangster named Cassidy and a few of his thugs arrived on the island to kill them all and get back some incriminating evidence about Cassidy which Linda had.

Halloran was able to kill one of the three gangsters with Cassidy and was hiding behind a stone wall near the staircase when Linda came down to suggest that they just hand over the evidence so that Cassidy would let them go.  But Jim knew it was too late for that; the gangsters would have to kill them all.  

"Sorry," he apologized lamely.

Linda replied: "Sorry – what an empty little word.  How very much it doesn't cover."

I'm sorry.  Just around the corner there are three men with guns waiting to kill you, and you're going to get all philosophical at that moment?

Stirling Silliphant is a fantastic writer, but that line was so unrealistic under the circumstances that it took me right out of the moment.

Just sayin', is all......


Wednesday, April 23, 2014


This is not something I can use in the Toobworld Dynamic; it's just something I found interesting.....


In this episode, two actors teamed up who played Dr. John Watson of 221B Baker Street fame, one past and one future.  H. Marion Crawford, leaning against the wall, was in the 1950s series with Ronald Howard as Holmes.  A few years after this episode, Colin Blakely would be in the Billy Wilder movie "The Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes" with the master sleuth played by Robert Stephens.

As I said, I can't use this for Earth Prime-Time.  Even though 'Sherlock Holmes' with Howard and Crawford was one of several incarnations of the pair before Jeremy Brett and David Burke/Edward Harwicke came along, that 1980s series is the official televersion.  So that must be in an alternate TV dimension.

As for the Cineverse, that movie universe must have plenty of alternate dimensions as well in order to accommodate so many portrayals of the world's first consulting detective.

My thanks to the spy blog "Double O Section" for pointing this out......


Tuesday, April 22, 2014


OF COURSE "Inner Toob" would make a contribution to Earth Day 2014!  Just not the way you might expect.....

Syfy has gone back to the poisoned well for a new "Sharknado" movie - "Sharknado 2: The Second One" will take place in New York City and once again star Ian Ziering and Tara Reid return to battle the beasties dropping from the skies.  And this time Viveca A. Fox will be joining it.

The "Sharknado" films do not take place in the main Toobworld.  They exist in the dimension known as Disaster Toobworld in which all of those TV movies about massive tornadoes, ice storms, global flooding etc. take place.  It's a nice place to visit, but your televersion wouldn't want to live there.

(If my televersion from that dimension did survice any of those previous disasters, I'm sure "my" number is up in this one since it's set in New York.  

How could Bruce the Shark resist a tasty morsel such as myself?

Actually.....  because of everything that happened to me earlier this year, I may just post a picture of myself as a survivor of "Sharknado 2: The Second One" when the movie airs.

And who came up with that movie title?  Captain Obvious?


Monday, April 21, 2014


From Toobworld correspondent Jim Belfiore, reporting from Japan:

"Morning television in Tokyo. Certainly from what Japanese phrases I can understand, there is much more journalist excellence and integrity than "The Today Show"."

Based on the outfits worn by two of those girls, maybe this is the Japanese version of FOX News......


Sunday, April 20, 2014




When miserly Alexander Gifford wanted his wife killed off because she had found all of his hidden bankbooks and had started spending the money, he found a way to contact a contract killer to do the job.  But when he found out how much it would cost him, Gifford changed his mind.

The killer (played by great character heavy Jack Lambert) was a thoughtful guy, though - he was a family man too and knew that money could be tight.  So he offered to suggest a few ways in which Gifford could do the murder himself to save a few bucks.....

Hired Killer: 
"I saw this one on TV. 
A dame did it. A cute dame. 
She clobbered her old man over the head 
with a frozen leg of lamb."

Alexander Gifford: 
"At 59 cents a pound?"

Gifford went a different route, but still meat oriented - he treated the ham that she was going to eat with botulism he had stolen from a lab.  

But what a great reference to an earlier episode of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents'!  Of course, it's a Zonk as well....


Pregnant Mary Maloney killed her philandering, abusive husband when he told her that he was leaving her for another woman.  It was a momentary act of insanity as she picked up the frozen leg of lamb she hoped to prepare for dinner and clubbed him over the head with it.

But after that, everything was calculated.  It turned out that Mr. Maloney was the police chief of their town, which meant the detectives were going to be extra thorough in their investigation.  And Mary realized that they might be biased in his favor against her, not accepting her word that he was abusive to her.

So she staged the scene to look like a burglar had broken in and killed Chief Maloney in a struggle.  And she put the leg of lamb into the oven in order to cook the murder weapon.

When the detectives did arrive, the lead investigator was suspicious, but the lack of a murder weapon, some kind of club, kept him from fully suspecting Mary.

Being the polite hostess, she offered to feed the police officers and fed them all a full meal - with the main course being the lamb.  The police ended up eating the murder weapon!

"Lamb To The Slaughter" was broadcast in April of 1958.  "Cheap Is Cheap" aired a year later.  And unlike another anthology series, 'The Twilight Zone', the episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' should all take place in Earth Prime-Time. 

Therefore, the murders committed by Mary Maloney and Alexander Gifford had to be in the same TV dimension.  There was no way for that nameless killer to have seen her do it on a TV show.

A dramatic recreation on the other hand.....

According to HItchcock's serlinguistic sermon at the end of the episode, Mrs. Maloney didn't get away with murder.  But I'd like to think that public outcry over a woman's right to defend herself against spousal abuse, plus sympathy over her being a new mother (She would have delivered by the time of the trial.), may have swayed the judge to reduce her sentence to time served.

Unfortunately, domestic violence is a problem to this day here in the real world as well as in Toobworld, but on Earth Prime-Time, Mary Maloney may have become the cause celebre which sparked the movement to ensure that women could protect themselves against abusive partners.  And she might have heightened the need for more research into the extreme mood swings brought on by pregnancy.

So yeah, a quick made-for-TV movie was produced about the Mary Maloney case.  It was an O'Bvious choice since the murder was so unique.  And that hit man must have seen it.

No Zonk here.

I hope you enjoyed your Easter lamb......


This was the 9500th post I've presented here in the Inner Toob blog.  We've been in operation since August of 2004 and it's been a fun way to pass the time away.  (Although the vowel in that verb could have just as easily been different!)  I'm hoping you've been finding it as much fun to visit here as it has been for me to provide these glimpses into the alternate reality of Television.

Saturday, April 19, 2014


It's time for our Saturday morning cartoon segment......


Meanwhile, over in the Tooniverse, "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" had an influence on two cartoons.

Here's the example from one of them.  The treasure was under a "big X"......


In this episode of 'The Simpsons', the Springfielders were told that the treasure was under a "big T".......

Also, at least two of the treasure hunters resembled their movie counterparts.  Here we see the "Tooniversions" of Benjy Benjamin and Otto Meyer standing behind Chief Wiggums.....


Friday, April 18, 2014


With all of the globe-trotting that Simon Templar must do, after a while the whole world must start blending together as one.  And that feeling must be compounded when so many of the places he visits look exactly the same:

Baden-Baden, Germany

Munich, Germany

Hamburg, Germany

Santo Domingo, Mexico

Lacinta, Mexico

Marseilles, France

Santa Costa Brava, Spain


Most of those locations are in Europe, but that architect/urban planner also set up a couple of cities in Mexico to look exactly like the others.  And he did the same in the Arabic country of Sayeda.

What would drive him to do so?  Perhaps it was some sub-conscious command from the great Mother Computer known as Earth, as part of the programming designed by the super computer Deep Thought.

'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy'

My thanks to the Saint TV fanpage for the pictures.


Thursday, April 17, 2014


Marty Nero was a juvenile delinquent and member of a New York street gang.  He couldn't go through with an ordered execution of the rival gang member who gunned down Marty's friend LIttle Pancho, and because of that he became a target of his own gang.  But luckily, the police were able to arrive in time and rescue Marty.

It isn't known what happened to Marty later in his life.  Since he had not committed a crime and in fact tried to prevent a murder, Marty wasn't arrested.  And Lt. Muldoon offered to put in a good word for him with Mr. Cienzi, Marty's former boss in the garment district.

"Marty Nero" was not his real name, according to Toobworld Central.  Like all gang members, he had taken an alias.  But his nickname was based on his real name, the surname being "Martin".

Marty had an older brother named James Martin who walked the straight and narrow growing up.  He became a special agent for the government who got involved with secret agent Amos Burke during a very special case in 1965:

A peace group planned on stealing an LSD gas to use on the populace of Washington, DC, in order to cover their plans to steal military secrets.  It was Amos Burke's plan to infiltrate the group.

However, it turned out that Special Agent James Martin wasn't the All-American Boy Scout he appeared to be.  He tried to arrest Burke after Amos  made contact with the real leaders of the peace group.  During their struggle, Burke accidentally shot Agent Martin and killed him, only to find out later that Martin was a double agent.

As for Marty's chosen surname of "Nemo", he picked it because Captain Nemo had been his favorite character when he was growing up.  And Marty may have imagined himself one day being the captain of the gang.

Marty had no clue that Nemo wasn't fictional, but instead that he not only was a nautical and scientific genius back in the 1850's to rival Dr. Loveless, but that he was still alive (although trapped in suspended animation undersea in the Nautilus.)

  • 'Naked City' - "No More Rumbles"
  • 'Amos Burke, Secret Agent' - "Peace, It's A Gasser"
  • "The Amazing Captain Nemo"

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


"It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" was definitely a movie in the TV Universe.  And there were at least three mentions of it by TV characters to establish this fact:

'Remington Steele'
"Steele Among the Living"
Mentioned in the dialogue.

'Remington Steele' 
"Steele in the Chips"
Steele remarks how their pursuit of cookies is similar to the pursuit for an object in this film.

'Mad Men' 
"The Good News" 
The movie is one of the films that Don and Lane are contemplating seeing.

They ended up seeing a "Godzilla" movie....

[Most of that info is courtesy of the IMDb.....]