CROSSING ZONE: WELCOME TO GIANT WORLD

The traditional Fourth of July marathon of 'Twilight Zone' episodes on Sci-Fi will be over in the middle of the night. This year, they tweaked the format a bit by including a batch of episodes from the 1980s version of the show at the beginning of the marathon.

A few hours ago Sci-Fi aired "The Invaders", the classic episode with Agnes Moorehead; probably one of the top five stories told on the show.

I've probably mentioned this before; but what the hell, I'm going to do it again.

Although "The Invaders" was broadcast first (27 January 1961), in the Toobworld timeline it takes place after the debut episode of the TV series 'Land Of The Giants' (22 September 1968). US Air Force Space Probe 1 was sent into that greenish cloud that masked the wormhole leading to the world of the giants in order to discover what happened to the Spindrift. The experimental sub-orbital airliner disappeared in June of 1983, and after an investigation, Toobworld Central believes that the government launched the secret probe to discover what happened to them.

Unfortunately for Gresham and his partner, the two astronauts didn't have as much luck as the passengers and crew of the Spindrift once it landed on the giants' planet.....

BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: MOLLIE SUGDEN

Over here in America, Mollie Sugden may not be remembered by name by the general public, but they will always remember her character of Mrs. Slocombe from 'Are You Being Served?' With hair in colors that shouldn't exist except on the planet Arcturus, and with a pussy that kept her preoccupied most of the day, Mrs. Slocombe will live on in TV Heaven. Even as Mollie Sugden has joined her former co-star Wendy Richard... one step beyond.

But over in the United Kingdom, Mollie Sugden left an impressive body of work with roles on such famous shows and mini-series as 'The Bill', 'Coronation Street', 'Z Cars', 'Up Pompeii', 'The Six Wives Of Henry VIII', and 'Steptoe And Son'. She had starring roles in other Britcoms like 'The Liver Birds', 'Come Back, Mrs. Noah', and 'Hugh And I'. But it will always be Mrs. Slocombe who will come to mind first when we think of Mollie Sugden, who passed away the other day at the age of 86. Because of their participation in 'Are You Being Served?', movie and series, and in the sequel 'Grace And Favour', the employees of Grace Brothers will one day be inducted into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame, probably en masse. This will probably happen just as soon as... I'm free.....

Ms. Sugden, good night, and may God bless.

Here are the roles she contributed to the Tele-Folks Directory: "The Bill" .... Lally (2003)

"Revolver" (2001) .... Mother

"The Liver Birds" (1976 - 1996) .... Mrs. Thelma Hutchinson

"Dennis the Menace" .... Vilhemina Slop Bucket (1996)

"Romuald the Reindeer" (1996)

"Just William" .... Great Aunt Florence (1995)

"Oliver's Travels" (1995) .... Mrs. Robson

"Grace & Favour" (1992-1993).... Mrs. Betty Slocombe

"Cluedo" (1991) .... Mrs. White

"My Husband and I" (1987-1988) .... Nora Powers

"That's My Boy" .... Ida Willis (1981-1986)

"Are You Being Served?" .... Mrs. Betty Slocombe (1972-1985)

"Tickle on the Tum" (1984) TV series .... Bessie Bagwash

The Talking Parcel (1978) (voice) .... Hortense, the Flying Train

"Come Back Mrs. Noah" .... Mrs. Noah (1977-1978)

Are You Being Served? - The Movie (1977) .... Mrs. Betty Slocombe

"Three Comedies of Marriage" .... Mother (1975)

Holiday with Strings (1974) .... Doris

"Love Thy Neighbour" .... Sister Martin (1974)

"Coronation Street" .... Nellie Harvey (1965-1974)

"Son of the Bride" .... Mum (1973)

"The Fenn Street Gang" .... Mrs. Greer (1972)

"My Wife Next Door" .... George's Mother (1972)

"A Class by Himself" .... Lesley Charles (1972)

"Emma" .... Mrs. Goddard (1972)

"Doctor in Charge" .... Mrs. Waring (1972)

"Six Days of Justice" .... Mrs. Dunne (1972)

"Steptoe and Son"
- Oh What a Beautiful Mourning (1972) .... Minnie
- And Afterwards at... (1965) .... Mother Of The Bride

"Mandog" (1972) .... Mrs. Morris

"Comedy Playhouse" .... Lady Wright (1972)

"Please Sir!" .... Alice Larch (1971)

"For the Love of Ada" .... Nellie Pollitt (1971)

"Doctor at Large" .... Mrs. Mollett (1971)

"The Goodies" .... Minister for Trade and Domestic Affairs (1970)

"Up Pompeii" .... Flavia (1970)

"The Six Wives of Henry VIII" .... Lotte (1970)

"Oh Brother!" - (1969) "Just Jimmy" .... Mum
- Harem Scarem! (1968)
- Chips with Nothing (1964)

"Jackanory" .... Storyteller
- The Unwelcome Guests: Welcome at Last (1968)
- The Unwelcome Guests: Lost and Found (1968)
- The Unwelcome Guests: The Golden Coin (1968)
- The Unwelcome Guests: The Beachcombers (1968)
- The Unwelcome Guests: The House on It's Own (1968)

"Z Cars" .... Vera (1967)

"Armchair Theatre" .... District nurse
- I Am Osango (1967)

"Hugh and I" (1962-1966) .... Mrs. Crispin

"First Night" .... Mrs. Phillips
- Maggie (1964)

"Benny Hill" .... Woman Tenant (1962)

"Suspense" .... Belle
- Killer in the Band (1962)

BCnU.....

THE HAT SQUAD: GALE STORM

When I was growing up in Connecticut, 'My Little Margie' was part of my afternoon viewing habit. (By this time it was already in rerun syndication.) Even then as a little kid, I thought Margie was too old to be the way she was; nowadays an actual teenager would be cast in the role. Maybe a character like 'Blossom' was a latter-day version of Margie Albright.

But I've been looking at some online photos of Gale Storm these last few days, and I can see the real reason I kept coming back to the series. She was cute - even with that horrible hair style! And just this morning I discovered the website tv4u.com where I caught an old episode of the show and was able to admire her again, from a more adult viewpoint. (At least as best of one that I can conjure up!)

Ms. Storm passed away this past week, part of one those blasted "They Go In Threes" curses. (Her companions for the journey were Billy Mays and Fred Travalena.) She was 87 years old.

After 'My Little Margie', she had another successful run with 'The Gale Storm Show', in which she played a cruise ship's social director, Susanna Pomeroy. But as Toobworld primarily exists within my own cranium, I prefer the title of the show as 'Oh, Susanna!', as that's what it was known as when I watched that in reruns as well.
I never could figure out why I saw so little of her on the TV screen after that - two episodes of 'Burke's Law', a 'Love Boat' and a very funny performance in an episode of 'Murder, She Wrote'. I just assumed she withdrew for a while to raise her family, but now (after reading her obituary in the L.A. Times) I wonder if it might have been due to her battle with alcoholism. Once I read about how she successfully fought back, I came away with a new admiration that was deeper than just because of her talents.
As Red Skelton would say, "Good night, and may God bless."

Here are the characters she contributed to the citizenry of Toobworld:

"Murder, She Wrote" .... Maisie Mayberry

- Something Borrowed, Someone Blue (1989)

"The Love Boat" .... Rose

- Never Say Goodbye/New Woman, A/Trial Romance (1979) "Burke's Law"
- Who Killed Wimbledon Hastings? (1965) .... Dr. Nonnie Harper

- Who Killed His Royal Highness? (1964) .... Honey Feather Leeps

"The Gale Storm Show" .... Susanna Pomeroy (1956-1960)
... aka "Oh! Susanna"

"Shower of Stars"

- Cloak and Dagger (1957)

"The Ford Television Theatre" .... Hope Foster
- Johnny, Where Are You? (1955)

"Celebrity Playhouse"

- Mink Does Something for You (1955)

"Robert Montgomery Presents"

- Tomorrow Is Forever (1955)

"My Little Margie" .... Margie Albright (1952-1955)

"The Unexpected" .... Eileen
- The Puppeteers (1952)

"The Bigelow Theatre"

- The Hot Welcome (1951)
- Mechanic on Duty (1950)

"Hollywood Theatre Time" (1950)

BCnU.....

AS SEEN ON TV: ELMO ZUMWALT, JR. & ELMO ZUMWALT III

THE ZUMWALTS

AS SEEN IN:
"My Father, My Son"

AS PLAYED BY:
Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, Jr. - Karl Malden
Elmo Zumwalt III - Keith Carradine

Adapted from Wikipedia:

Elmo Russell Zumwalt, Jr. (November 29, 1920 – January 2, 2000) was an American naval officer and the youngest man to serve as Chief of Naval Operations. As an admiral and later the 19th Chief of Naval Operations, Zumwalt played a major role in U.S. military history, especially during the Vietnam War. A highly-decorated war veteran, Zumwalt reformed Naval personnel policies in an effort to improve enlisted life and ease racial tensions.

During his son Elmo III's illness in the early 1980s, Admiral Zumwalt was very active in lobbying Congress to establish a national registry of bone marrow donors. (Such donors serve patients who do not have suitably matched bone marrow donors in their families. This was ultimately a disinterested act, since his son was able to receive a transplant from his own sister, but many patients don't have close relatives who are able and willing to help in this heroic way. His efforts were a major factor in the founding of the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) in July 1986. Admiral Zumwalt was the first chairman of the NMDP's Board of Directors.

Admiral Zumwalt said he felt his son's cancer was most definitely due to Agent Orange. However, Zumwalt said he did not regret ordering the use of Agent Orange, because it reduced casualties by making it difficult for the enemy to hide and find food.

Admiral Zumwalt, along with his son Elmo III and writer John Pekkanen, authored a book called "My Father, My Son", published by MacMillan in September 1986, where they discussed the family tragedy of his son's battle with cancer. The book contains chapters narrated by Admiral Zumwalt, Lieutenant Zumwalt, and other family members.

After treatment in a number of hospitals, Elmo III went to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, in Seattle, where he received a bone marrow transplant from his sister Mouzetta, whose tissues fortunately matched his well enough for this treatment to be feasible. Results were promising at the end of "My Father, My Son", but he died in 1988.

That same year, 1988, "My Father, My Son" was adapted for a TV movie of the same name, starring Karl Malden as the elder Zumwalt and Keith Carradine as his son.

BCnU!

GOING FOURTH

HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE FOURTH OF JULY!

And in the words of Sgt. Esterhaus:

"Let's be careful out there...."

BCnU!

SON OF A SEKULOVITCH!

If you didn't know already, Karl Malden's real name was Mladen Sekulovich. And whenever possible, he tried to work that name into his dialogue in various movies. (O'Bviously he couldn't do it in his scenes for "How The West Was Won"; not sure it would have worked in "Bullwhip Griffin" either.)

Here's what Wikipedia has on Malden's use of the name:

(Karl) Malden often found ways to say "Sekulovich" in films and television shows in which he appears. For example, as General Omar Bradley in "Patton", as his troops slog their way through enemy fire in Sicily, Malden says "Hand me that helmet, Sekulovich" to another soldier.

In "Dead Ringer", as a police detective in the squad room, Malden tells another detective: "Sekulovich, gimme my hat."

In "Fear Strikes Out", Malden, playing Jimmy Piersall's father John, introduces Jimmy to a baseball scout named Sekulovich.

In "Birdman of Alcatraz", as a prison warden touring the cell block, Malden recites a list of inmates' names, including Sekulovich. (Malden's father was not pleased, as he told his son 'Mladen, no Sekulovich has ever been in prison!')

Also, in "On the Waterfront", in which Malden plays the priest, among the names of the officers of Local 374 called out in the courtroom scene is Mladen Sekulovich, Delegate.

Perhaps the most notable usage of his real name was in the TV series 'The Streets of San Francisco'. Malden's character in the program, Mike Stone, employed a legman (played by Art Metrano) with that name, who did various errands.
[edited]

According to the IMDb.com, Art Passarella also played an Officer Sekulovich in two episodes of 'Streets of San Francisco': "Breakup" and "Dead Lift".

I have no problem for Toobworld in suggesting that Sgt. M. Sekulovich and Officer Sekulovich were related. As there was nearly a thirty year age difference between the men, Metrano's Sekulovitch could have been the son of Passarella's.
BCnU!

CASTLE BOOK

Over the years, I've read a fair share of tie-in novels based on TV series - mostly for 'Star Trek', but also 'Bonanza', 'The Prisoner', 'Columbo', etc. But it's not often when I come across a book that purports to have been written from within television's alternate reality.

Some that come to mind - the mysteries of Jessica Fletcher, "Bad Twin", which was worked into the plotline of 'Lost', guide-books and diaries from 'Twin Peaks'. And there's one from a current soap opera, but I'm blanking on the show. And with over 400 books here in the Toobworld Central Library, it's a daunting task to track it down.

But now comes word that ABC will be publishing a mystery novel "written" by Richard Castle, the main character on its returning series 'Castle' and played by Nathan Fillion. Apparently elements of the novel will find themselves integrated into episode storylines.

Before the novel is published as a hard-cover, the first half of the book will be serialized online, a chapter a week for ten weeks. Its actual publication release date is September 29, by Hyperion.

The novel is "Heat Wave", so the protagonist must be Nikki Heat. She's a new character for Castle, having dispatched his previous hero Derek Storm after becoming bored with writing about him. Nikki Heat is influenced by the detective at the 12th Precinct who's been saddled with him by a veiled demand by the Mayor while she's working cases.

Since 'Castle' has a black man currently as Mayor of New York City, the show had to be relegated to an alternate TV dimension, as Mayor Mike Bloomberg has already established himself as "Hizzoner" in '30 Rock', 'Law & Order', and a Muppets Christmas special.

But I think it fits nicely into the dimension of 'The West Wing', the next best thing to the main Toobworld!

BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: KARL MALDEN

Academy Award winning actor Karl Malden has passed away at the age of 97. He made over fifty films including "Patton", "The Birdman Of Alcatraz", "Baby Doll", "On The Waterfront" (for which he was nominated for Best Supporting Actor), and "A Streetcar Named Desire" (recreating his Broadway role of Mitch, for which he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor).

On TV, he appeared in nine TV movies, many of which had him portraying real-life figures like Herb Brooks, Elmo Zumwalt, Jr., and Leon Klinghoffer. He also played The Walrus in an adaptation of "Alice In Wonderland".

But in Toobworld, he is best known for playing Lt. Mike Stone, a 20 year veteran police inspector working 'The Streets Of San Francisco', and as himself in a series of commercials he made for American Express Traveler's Cheques and for the American Express credit card over a 21 year period.

He also played the title role of Pete Skagska, a Pittsburgh steelworker felled by a stroke in the short-lived 'Skag'. His last character appearance on TV was as President Jed Bartlet's former priest in a first season episode of 'The West Wing'. (Father Tom Cavanaugh, like all of the characters in 'The West Wing', can be found in an alternate TV dimension and not Earth Prime-Time.)

He was a solid, dependable actor who never disappointed, and Toobworld is richer for the characters he provided.

TV SERIES
"Skag" .... Pete "Skag" Skagska

"The Streets of San Francisco" .... Detective Lt. Mike Stone

TV PILOTS
Skag (1980) .... Pete 'Skag' Skagska

TV SEQUELS
Back to the Streets of San Francisco (1992) .... Mike Stone

TV MOVIES
They've Taken Our Children: The Chowchilla Kidnapping (1993) .... Ed Ray

Absolute Strangers (1991) .... Fred Zusselman

Call Me Anna (1990) .... Doctor Harold Arlen

The Hijacking of the Achille Lauro (1989) .... Leon Klinghoffer

My Father, My Son (1988) .... Elmo Zumwalt Jr.

Fatal Vision (1984) .... Freddy Kassab

With Intent to Kill (1984) .... Thomas E. Nolan

Miracle on Ice (1981) .... Herb Brooks

Word of Honor (1981) .... Mike McNeill

TV GUEST APPEARANCES
"The West Wing" .... Father Thomas Cavanaugh
- Take This Sabbath Day (2000)

"Armstrong Circle Theatre"
- Anything But Love (1950)

TV COMMERCIALS
American Express

LITERARY ADAPTATIONS
Alice in Wonderland (1985) .... Walrus

Captains Courageous (1977) .... Disko Troop

"The Ford Theatre Hour"
- Little Women (1949)
"Good night, and may God bless."

BCnU.....

AS SEEN ON TV: "FREDDY" KASSAB

ALFRED KASSAB

AS SEEN IN:
"Fatal Vision"

AS PLAYED BY:
Karl Malden

"Freddy" Kassab was the step-father of Collette MacDonald, who was fatally stabbed and bludgeoned to death, along with her two daughters, by her husband, Captain Jeffrey MacDonald. At first, Kassab believed the story told by MacDonald, a doctor assigned to the Green Berets - that "hippies" broke into their home in February of 1970, and murdered his family and left him stabbed with a partially collapsed lung. But eventually Kassab and Colette's mother Mildred became convinced that their son-in-law had committed the crimes, and they spent nearly a decade in bringing him to justice. "Fatal Vision" reunited Karl Malden with Eva Marie Saint, who played Kassab's wife Mildred. They worked together most notably in "On The Waterfront", for which Malden was nominated for Best Supporting Actor and Ms. Saint won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

BCnU!

NUMBERS RUNNING: JASON AT FIFTEEN

One of "The Numbers" from 'Lost' showed up again this week:
Apartment #15 was home to Lisa Wellsley, and the scene of her murder. This kid Jason was a friend of hers and he's seen here breaking into the crime scene....

BCnU!

MEG-SHOTS

A couple of seasons ago on 'Supernatural', Nicki Aycox played the demoness Meg for several episodes. The show is bringing Meg back for next season, but she'll no longer be played by Aycox. Instead, Rachel Miner has been signed to go demonic on the Winchester Boys.

Toobworld Central has no problem with this recastaway. Like demi-gods and other shape-shifters, a demon can change its appearance. So for some reason, Meg decided she'd rather alter her physical appearance as a mortal.

That's Nicki Aycox as Meg on top
With Rachel Miner at bottom.

And with that in mind, it's off to bed. Rule 34!

BCnU!

A GENERAL CONNECTION

Going through celebrity obituaries every day, I tend to notice odd little connections in each year. Like Jack Wild and Lennie Weinrib both dying in the same year - they worked together on 'H.R. Pufnstuf'. Or Richard Widmark and Abby Mann, within days of each other - both connected to "Judgement At Nuremberg"

So while IMing with my brother about an hour ago, I realized another one has happened that's a bit more convoluted.....

Harve Presnell and Karl Malden have died on the same day.

Presnell played General Paul Harkins in "A Bright Shining Lie". During WWII, he served as Patton's Deputy Chief Of Staff.

Karl Malden portrayed General Omar Bradley in "Patton".

Means nothing on a cosmic scale, of course. Just thought I'd point it out.....

BCnU!

PAINKILLER SPLAIN

(AP) — Government experts say prescription drugs like Vicodin and Percocet that combine a popular painkiller with stronger narcotics should be eliminated because of their role in deadly overdoses.

A Food and Drug Administration panel on Tuesday voted 20-17 that prescription drugs that combine acetaminophen with other painkilling ingredients should be pulled off the market.

Despite years of educational campaigns and other federal actions, acetaminophen remains the leading cause of liver failure in the U.S., according to the FDA.

The FDA is not required to follow the advice of its panels, though it usually does. I'm sure the creative forces behind 'House' and 'Nurse Jackie' want to keep their characters as grounded in reality as possible when it comes to Toobworld. So if the FDA does pull Vicodin and Percocet off the market, both characters will have to deal with the issue in some future episode.

Just sayin', is all.....

BCnU!

FILED MACLACHLAN

On 'Harper's Island' two episodes ago, Shane Pierce was clutching a bottle of Robert MacLachlan whiskey for comfort while they were under siege in the Cannery.

In the real world, that whiskey doesn't exist. But that's where we do find the source of the name: Robert MacLachlan is the show's cinematographer. I mentioned this to David Bianculli, TV critic & columnist who has the blog "TV Worth Watching" (link to the left, Little Dudes). And I got spanked for it!

"The only thing that's NOT impressive about your detective work uncovering this particular Extra, Toby, is what the hell are you doing watching Harper's Island? -- David B."

Ah, well. It's my guilty pleasure of the summer......

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: GENERAL PAUL D. HARKINS

Because I've been running the daily "As Seen On TV" feature all year, the first things I look for when a celebrity dies are any historical figures whom they may have played on television.

For Harve Presnell, who died yesterday at the age of 75, that real life figure was General Paul Harkins......

GENERAL PAUL HARKINS
(May 15, 1904 - August 21, 1984)

Paul Donal Harkins was born in Boston and graduated with the West Point class of 1929. He was Deputy Chief of Staff during World War II to George S. Patton Jr. and later became a U.S. Army General and the first Military Assistance Command, Vietnam (MACV) commander from 1962 to 1964.

AS PLAYED BY:
Harve Presnell

AS SEEN IN:
"A Bright Shining Lie"

"A Bright Shining Lie" was based on the book by Neil Sheehan and also starred Bill Paxton as John Paul Vann and Kurtwood Smith as General Westmoreland.

Here's what Wikipedia says about General Harkins' involvement in the Viet Nam War:

The initial U.S. build up in the Viet Nam war occurred during his watch. Harkins appeared on the cover of Time magazine, (What it Takes to Win 1962-05-11), where he was described as "look(ing) every inch the professional soldier". The article went on to describe his "demanding" job and the commitment of the US to stay in Viet Nam even if it took a decade, quoting then Attorney General Robert Kennedy from November 1962, "We are going to win in Viet Nam. We will remain until we do."

At the beginning of his command of MACV Harkins and his staff had repeatedly expressed optimism about the course of the war. As the violence escalated however, many reporters began to feel that what they were seeing in the field and being told confidentially by officers such as Lieutenant Colonel John Paul Vann did not match the information released by MACV.
The battle of Ap Bac in particular seriously affected many of the reporters view of the credibility of the Army and of Harkins in particular. When details of the battle emerged that differed from the Army's official version it became a very serious matter and press reports of it embarrassed the Kennedy administration.

Harkins was described by Neil Sheehan as an "American General with a swagger stick and cigarette holder...who would not deign to soil his suntans and street shoes in a rice paddy to find out what was going on was prattling about having trapped the Viet Cong".

New York Times reporter David Halberstam became so angry with Harkins he refused to shake his hand at a Fourth of July celebration, declaring at one point that "Paul D. Harkins should be court-martialed and shot!" BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: GALE STORM (SINGING "DARK MOON")

For now, here's the last of the video tributes to the recently departed.....

Here's Gale Storm, showcasing not only her character of Susanna Pomeroy from 'Oh, Susanna!'*, but also highlighting her singing career back in the real world with this rendition of "Dark Moon".

Not only do we get to see Gale Storm, but also Zasu Pitts, Roy Roberts, and special guest Craig "Peter Gunn" Stevens......




Good night and may God bless.

BCnU.....

*As I knew the show, but it was originally titled 'The Gale Storm Show'....

THE HAT SQUAD: MOLLY SUGDEN (AS MRS. SLOCOMBE)

A longer tribute this time, for not only British actress Molly Sugden, but for her character of Mrs. Slocombe on 'Are You Being Served?' I don't think I've showcased this much double entendre since... well, since that British blipvert for the Schick Lady Quattro the other day!



Since the whole purpose of this montage was to avoid naming the cat for the sake of the joke, I'll point out that his name was Tiddles.....

BCnU.....

THE HAT SQUAD: KARL MALDEN (FOR AMERICAN EXPRESS)

This is just another quick tip of the hat....

For Karl Malden, his ultimate League of Themselves appearance in Toobworld was as a serlinguist. Don't know what a serlinguist is? Those are people in the TV Universe who can converse with the people from the real world. The term is named after Rod Serling, of course, but George Burns was doing it long before him. And there's been Garry Shandling since then in 'It's Garry Shandling's Show', as well as many commercial spokesmen and aerobics instructors and cooking show hosts, etc.

Malden was a rock as he urged us all to carry American Express Traveler's Cheques. "Don't leave home without them......."



I chose this blipvert because it had a classic dramatic storyline as the backdrop....

Just to be on the safe side, I would have put it in my will to be buried with some of those traveler's cheques, had I been Karl Malden.....

Good night, and may God bless.

BCnU......

THE HAT SQUAD: HARVE PRESNELL AS LEW STAZIAK

I'll have more on the various characters played by Harve Presnell in Toobworld, as well as those of Karl Malden. And a tribute to Mrs. Slocombe of 'Are You Being Served', played by the late Molly Sugden needs to be done. ::sigh:: And there's still a tribute to Gale Storm that must be fashioned.....

But for now, I just want to do a quick tip of the cap for Lew Staziak, Mr. Presnell's scary/funny character from 'Andy Barker, P.I.' And to do so, I'll create a diversion:



BCnU....

TV POISON

Bret Michaels might not have been seen during "Jailhouse Z Rock", but he still serves as the link between 'Z Rock' and two other sitcoms, 'Yes, Dear' and 'The Chris Isaak Show'.

ZO2 were supposed to open for Bret Michaels in upstate New York in the Chappaqua area, but because of the "crime spree" of their friend Neil Latham, they missed the first show because they were locked up in the local jail. As for the second show, the band got there late because they were performing at a birthday party... for a dog.

The Poison lead rocker also appeared as himself in the following episodes:

"The Chris Isaak Show"
- The Family of Man (2004)
- Hell Is Other People (2002)
- Fantasia (2001)

"Yes, Dear"
- Greg's Big Day (2000)

Actually, he can also link two "reali-TV" shows which would more than likely be mentioned in any future appearances by Bret Michaels in shows where he played himself. One would be his dating series 'Rock Of Love', and the other would be the recent Tony Awards telecast. You gotta know that his conk on the noggin by the scenery, which left him injured, is going to be a source of humor in any future appearances.

BCnU!

RULE 34

Rob Buckley, who runs the British blog "The Medium Is Not Enough" posted this video today, from 1976:



I asked him if it was possible that somebody might have spoofed this show for pornographic purposes. I mean, look at those spiders Itsy and Bitsy! They're basically disguised hands! This is the perfect puppet show for onanists!

Rob's response? "Rule 34".

I never heard that phrase before, and a quick Google search brought me these splainins from the "Urban Dictionary":

Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Generally accepted internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject.

If not, then porn will be made of it as soon as someone hears what you are looking for.

True for any movie, game, character, etc. that you can think of, and some you can't.

As I wrote on my Facebook page right after, "For one who delights in all manifestations of "going there", only just this minute have I learned about Rule 34! My guiding principle in Life and I didn't even know it had a name!!!"

BCnU!

STACEY'S STAY OF EXPLANATION

IRS auditor Stacey Connolly scrambled to explain that his first name was a man's name when Sam Axe called him out about it during the 'Burn Notice' episode "Fearless Leader". One of the examples he used was Stacy Keach, but he finally broke down and gave up before he could cite Keach's television credits.

Wasn't that nice of him? That way we don't have to de-Zonk whatever examples he might have come up with - 'Prison Break', 'Titus', whatever.....

BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: FRED TRAVALENA

Fred Travalena was an impressionist, one of the last in the old style line of performers to successfully meld the showmanship of Las Vegas with television. Called "The Man of A Thousand Faces", Travalena died the other day at the age of 66 after a long battle with cancer. His death completed the superstitious group of three (a cluster of celebrity deaths), along with Billy Mays and Gale Storm; the second "group of three" in the span of a week.

Here are his most notable appearances as a member of the "League of Themselves":

Stand Up with Fred Travalena (1997) (TV)

"Good Sports"
- Pros and Ex-Cons (1991)
This was a sitcom which starred Ryan O'Neal and the late Farrah Fawcett, who just passed away this past week as well.

"Newhart"
- A Midseason's Night Dream (1988)
This means that Fred Travalena was on the mind of Dr. Bob Hartley of 'The Bob Newhart Show', as 'Newhart' was just one long dream spurred on by a late-night snack of Japanese food.

"Madame's Place"
- Episode #1.47 (1982)
Even though this was basically a variety show, it holds its place in Toobworld because of the fictional interaction with Madame, the "Naughty Marionetta".

Just based on those three appearances alone, Fred Travalena would be eligible for entry into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame.

He made his mark in several TV series, mostly locked into one particular character for each of them....

"Black Scorpion" .... Charlie Chortle
- He Who Laughs Last (2001)

"Beverly Hills, 90210" .... Club Owner
- Ever Heard the One About the Exploding Father? (2000)

"Histeria!" .... Lenny
- The Wild West (1998)

"Walker, Texas Ranger" .... Ross Perot
- Standoff (1995)
I'm not sure if he was providing the voice for the real Ross Perot or what.....

"Dinosaurs" .... Bob Hack
- Nuts to War: Part 2 (1992)

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!"
- Chippie Chimpmunks (1989) .... Mr. Gibbel
- Will the Real Elvis Please Shut Up!/Love 'Em and Leave 'Em (1989) .... Elvis

"Murphy Brown" .... Don Sarasota
- Buddies Schmuddies (1989)

Spitting Image: The Ronnie and Nancy Show (1987)

Poochie (1985) .... Zipcode

"Fantasy Island"
- Lady's Choice/Skin Deep (1984)

"Dragon's Lair" (1984) .... King Ethelred

Shooting Stars (1983) .... Teddy

"ABC Weekend Specials"
- The Secret World of Og (1983) .... Og/Old Man/Glub Villager

"Shirt Tales" (1982) .... Bogey Orangutan

"Smurfs" (1981) .... Additional Voices

"Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo" (1979) .... Additional Voices

"The Love Boat" .... Ted Ashton
- Double Wedding/Ventriloquists, The/Julie Falls Hard (1978)

"Keep on Truckin'" (1975)

"The ABC Comedy Hour" (1972)

"The Jetsons" (1962) .... Additional Voices

Good night, and may God bless......

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: MICHAEL JACKSON

Here's Wylie Draper as Michael Jackson in "The Jacksons: An American Dream". Draper passed away a year after making this tele-flick; I'm not sure if that counts as irony or not.

I don't know who's playing Bubbles the Chimp or the lion. I speculated the other day on Facebook that the death of Michael Jackson would spell the end of Edward Moss' career as a Jackson impersonator, in much the same way Vaughn Meader's career plummetted after the assassination of JFK. The references to MJ have already been cut out of the movie "Bruno"; would audiences still be accepting of Michael Jackson spoofs as they were when Moss played him in "Scary Movie 4"?

But he could get one last shot at glory if somebody ever does a TV movie about Michael Jackson's final days. You have to admit that it's turning into a spectacle ripe for dramatization......

Just sayin', is all..... BCnU!

HUNG UP ON TV TRIVIA

With its pilot episode on HBO Sunday night, 'Hung' joined the TV Universe. Ray used Finder-Spyder, a web search engine, in order to find out how he could capitalize on his enormous schwanstucker by becoming a gigolo.

I've written about Finder-Spyder in the past; check it out to see a list of all the other shows connected by the search engine found only on the Internet in Toobworld...

BCnU!

MUSLIM BUFFY WITH A DI- FFERENCE...

On their first night at the Leadership Camp run by their new-found, anti-vampire religion, Luke got angry at his room-mate, Jason Stackhouse. Luke didn't like it when Jason broke the American flag pole in order to make a stake to kill a "vampire". Especially since it was all during a play-acting exercise.

Because of the incident, Luke accused Jason of being a "Muslim Buffy with a dick".

I've got no problem when 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' is referenced in a TV show. Just so long as it's a reference to "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" movie, that is. This way, they aren't sharing the same creative universe; one is in the TV Universe, the other in the "Cineverse". As to why there would be a movie about Buffy Summers, again it all depends on how much is mentioned. So long as nobody states when the original movie came out, then we can claim it was made after the events of the final episode of the TV series.

Otherwise, it's time for the Splainin Dance.

So in this case, since Luke didn't even cite the entire title of the show/movie, there's no Zonk to be staked.....

BCnU!

LAWNMOWER WOMEN

This blipvert for the Schick Quattro for Women is airing in the United Kingdom....




Don't you get the feeling we'll never see it on American TV screens?

For Toobworld, I think we have a great way to insert this into the Great Link of the TV Universe. I think this small English neighborhood was "attacked" by the musical demon Mr. Sweet. We only saw him in the "Once More, With Feeling" musical episode of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer', but he was still inducted into the TV Crossover Hall of Fame. That's because we're claiming that he was responsible for the environment of shows like 'Hull High' and 'Cop Rock'.

He's still out there at work, and I think it's a safe bet that he was causing these women to sing the praises of their "landscaping".....

BCnU!

My thanks to fellow Iddiot Fred for alerting me to this!

AS SEEN ON TV: GOD ALMIGHTY!

For the "Two For Tuesday" edition of "As Seen On TV", we're taking it to a higher source, One Whose name is spoken quite frequently in Toobworld as well as in the real world... and not often enough for the right reasons.

GOD

Specifically, the Almighty as seen in the Tooniverse.
AS SEEN IN:
'God, The Devil, And Bob'

AS PLAYED BY:
James Garner

In this short-lived but interesting series, God met up with former minion the Devil in a bar and made a bet: the Devil got to choose one human to prove whether or not Mankind is decent and deserves saving. If the test subject failed, God would have to destroy all of Creation and begin anew. The Devil picked out Bob Allman (as in Everyman, I suppose) who was a Detroit auto worker, which probably made him ripe for temptation. And although the Devil could lure Bob into Sin, God wasn't allowed to give Bob any help along the way.

What I enjoyed most was seeing God as Jerry Garcia with James Garner's voice...
AS SEEN IN:
'Family Guy'

AS PLAYED BY:
N/A

This was your typical one-shot throwaway joke, which 'Family Guy' must have a couple dozen per episode. Here we see what God would look like if He patterned Himself as "Flash Gordon" from the 1980s movie. (We even got to hear that "Flash! A-haaaaaa!" from Queen on the soundtrack. But this was the extent of the scene, so there was no dialogue for the Deity......

BCnU!

NUMBERS RUNNING: "ROYAL PAINS" & "LIE TO ME"

I found a couple of "The Numbers" from 'Lost' this week in my summertime viewing.

First up, from a repeat of 'Lie To Me': And then in the latest episode of 'Royal Pains': I think of all of "The Numbers", "23" is proving to be the most prevalent in Toobworld. If not, it's probably "4". Or "8". Or....

BCnU!

IS NIKKI NIXED?

After the events of last night's episode of 'Harper's Island' ("Splash"), and with only the two-hour finale left to be shown in two weeks, I'm not ready to abandon my theory about Nikki Bolton being involved in the murders.

She was introduced back into the story last week, able to insinuate herself back into the crowd at the Cannery. And what happened last night may have been a carefully staged ruse to draw attention away from her. Remember a certain impish character from "And Then There Was None"? And after seeing what supposedly happened, why would the others - already shell-shocked - bother to look took closely into the situation?

We'll see in two weeks....

I am going to miss Cal and Chloe though......

BCnU!

GENERAL KINDLE

In anticipation of the upcoming 'Torchwood' mini-series event, Star-Ledger TV critic and columnist Alan Sepinwall conducted a phone interview with Russell T. Davies, the writer/producer who brought 'Doctor Who' back from the dead and created the spin-offs of 'Torchwood' and 'The Sarah Jane Adventures'.

At one point, RTD was asked about the stories he never got to write for 'Doctor Who', now that he's stepped down to let Steven Moffat take charge of the production. And at one point in his answer, "Rusty" says:

I think there's a very good "Doctor Who" story to be told about Twitter, about the idea of communicating in 140 characters. There's a story somewhere, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone on the (new writing) team is thinking of that.

I've been thinking that there's a story to be found in this new phenom of Kindle, the electronic book-reading device; something similar to the electronic thumb-shaped edition of 'The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy'.

What if the ultimate aim for Kindle (a tele-version of course, not the real thing) was to enslave the minds of its users for some unknown but definitely heinous purpose? It would the technology of "The General" from forty years ago in 'The Prisoner' finally put to use on the populace.

If this was to be a 'Doctor Who' story, what I like best about it is that you wouldn't need to throw in some alien race once again trying to invade the Earth, blah blah blah. This could be a home-grown adventure with the Doctor up against it - the info downloaded into his own cerebral cortex already taking control over him and his secrets before he's had a chance to defeat the mastermind behind it (some Tobias Vaughn/John Lumic type).

I think the only non-alien story in RTD's run of 'Doctor Who' was the two part "Rise Of The Cybermen"/"Age Of Steel" two-parter. And even then, those Lumic Cybermen were dimensional analogues to the Mondasian Cybermen of the classic series. Before that, the last story to feature a purely human threat was "Black Orchid" (I think) with Peter Davison as the Fifth Doctor.

So I'd welcome a 'Doctor Who' story in which the humans were the villains for once! And of course, it should be the utopian crossover with at least a mention of 'The Prisoner'.....

"Who Is Number One?" indeed!

BCnU!

By the way, Alan Sepinwall has a great TV blog called "What's Alan Watching?", the link for which you'll find to the left......

KNIGHT'S PAWN OR KNIGHT-SPAWN?

'Primeval' has already ended its run in the United Kingdom. We're up to episode seven of season 3, the last season, here in the States. So I don't know, maybe this gets addressed before the end of the series....

But did anybody else get the feeling that if Sir William deMornais (L) was killed in his future before he had the chance to father three children, that Danny Quinn (R) would never exist?

It's just me, isn't it.....?

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: THE THREE STOOGES

It's Monday.

For me, it's the middle of the work week, but I feel your pain. I know it's a downer after your weekend to go back to the office. The Fourth of July is on Saturday and yet it feels so far away.

So that's why today's "As Seen On TV" feature is a showcase for the Toobworld version of Three Stooges: to lift the spirits and anticipate some explosive fun this coming weekend.

Ah, who am I kidding? I just love the Stooges! We used to watch an hour of Stooges everyday in T-House when I was at UConn, just before dinner. How our dining room survived a bunch of guys hopped up on Stooges antics, I don't know.....

A publicity shot that never happened in Toobworld.

See "Hold That Lion" for the only Columbia short

in which all four of these Stooges appeared together.

AS SEEN IN:
"The Three Stooges"

AS PLAYED BY:
Paul Ben-Victor ... Moe Howard

Evan Handler ... Larry Fine

John Kassir ... Shemp Howard

Michael Chiklis ... Jerome 'Curly' Howard These are some of the other members of the cast from this 2000 TV movie. Stooges fans should recognize the names on the right more than those on the left:

Marton Csokas ... Ted Healy
Linal Haft ... Harry Cohn
Lewis Fitz-Gerald ... Jules White
Peter Callan ... Joe DeRita
Laurence Coy ... Joe Besser
David Baldwin ... Louis B. Mayer
Len Kaserman ... Jack L. Warner
Geoff Bartlett ... Del Lord
Gary Baxter ... Felix Adler
Gunther Berghofer ... Clyde Bruckman

(That last name should also be recognizable to fans of 'The X-Files'. Peter Boyle won an Emmy for playing a man with the same name in "The Last Repose Of Clyde Bruckman".)

There are three other real life figures I would have liked to have seen listed:

Bud Jamison

Vernon Dent

and, of course,

Emil Sitka!

Who knows? I never saw the tele-flick, but maybe they were portrayed with no credit given......

Woowoowoowoo BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: BILLY MAYS

"I compare myself to a big-league slugger, a quarterback,

the doctor who delivers the baby.

I'm not an inventor,

but I'll take your product to the next level."

Billy Mays

New York Daily News

(May, 2009)

"Good night, and may God bless."

BCnU.....

TVXOHOF, 06/2009-D: MAYBERRY, TWD

As June blends into July (hopefully with a blaze of glory after about 20 days of rain!), I couldn't think of a better Toobworld location to induct into the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame than Mayberry, North Carolina. If anyplace in the TV Universe better epitomizes the lazy, hazy, and yes, crazy days of Summer than Andy Taylor's hometown, I've yet to see it on TV. Mayberry is the type of place you can just sit back and relax on the front porch, with some lemonade, and watch the world go by at your own pace. Mayberry of course was the setting for 'The Andy Griffith Show'. And when the Taylors moved away (save for Aunt Bea), it was the town itself that took center stage in the sequel. Well, okay, that would have been Sam Jones, but the title of the show was 'Mayberry, RFD'.
And 'Gomer Pyle, USMC' would often mention his hometown while he was stationed at that California Marine base. And he wasn't the only one to speak of it outside its North Carolina environs. On 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', Mr. Trick said of her hometown of Sunnydale that its death rate "makes D.C. look like Mayberry." In an episode of 'The Dead Zone', Dana Bright got ticked off at Johnny Smith because he "had to go and piss off Mayberry." I'm not sure what small town was being compared to Opie's hometown, but it probably was just as quaint and easy-going as Mayberry - until an angry mob got riled up!

How do outsiders know about Mayberry? More than likely through a combination of events - a documentary about the town, perhaps. Maybe from that movie that was filmed there. Perhaps a horrible still explosion made the news. Could Opie have written a best-selling novel about it? It could be for any number of reasons. I like the idea that it was the architecture and layout of the town that made it famous. Whoever was the City Planner who designed the area, they then copied the form for several locations near the great city of Metropolis, as seen in episodes of 'The Adventures of Superman'. In fact, I think aliens liked the layout as well and recreated Mayberry on an alien planet - as seen in the "Miri" episode of 'Star Trek'! Mayberry was finally the center of attention once again with a TV reunion movie in which Andy came back home and once again became sheriff, with Barney Fife returning as well. The former deputy had been hoping to get the job of sheriff, but settled for working by Andy's side once again. (And Opie was the editor of the town paper.) We even caught a glimpse of the old fishing hole last Fall, when Opie and his Dad fished while they talked about the candidacy of Barack Obama! So here's to the town of Mayberry, not too far from Mt. Pilot in North Carolina. But in the hearts of many around the world....

BCnU!

Thanks to "The Adventure Continues" for the comparison pictures of Mayberry and Metropolis.

MAKING AN IMPACT

I'm enjoying this mini-series of "Impact" on ABC. (Who are we kidding? It's a two-part movie!) Although I'm a bit surprised that it seems like the network is burning it off now rather than during a Sweeps month. They should have saved it at least until August if they were going to do that.

Anyway, it's about a condensed chunk of brown dwarf star that crashes into the Moon and is now causing weird effects on Earth - electrical surges, loss of gravity, etc. And because of its massive weight, it's now causing the Moon's orbit to eventually crash it into the Earth. Part Two of this German co-production airs tonight (Sunday). Who knows how this is going to be resolved? But I have a feeling it's going to be like "Deep Impact" - astronauts going up to destroy either the brown dwarf star inside the Moon or the Moon itself.

So O'Bviously this can't be a show set in Earth Prime-Time. Otherwise, all TV shows would have their Moon shots showing a big crater and crack in it. It has to be another dimension, and luckily one is already set up for it. In this alternate TV dimension, the Earth is just lousy with luck when it comes to disasters. Here are some other TV movies and mini-series that take place in it:

"NYC: Tornado Terror"
"10.5"
"10.5: The Apocalypse"
"Aftershock: Earthquake in New York" Those are just a few examples. (There's no connection to the series 'Three Moons Over Milford' which had a similar premise. That takes place in still another TV dimension, but I haven't given much thought to any other TV shows sharing that same world.)

And if any other disaster specials pop up, and it just happens that the Moon can be seen in the night sky, with no visible damage, then we can always claim that "Impact" is taking place in the near future, after any of those other disaster shows that come along later.

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: BARBARA HUTTON

The late Farrah Fawcett gave a televised life to socialite Barbara Hutton.....

BARBARA HUTTON

AS SEEN IN:
"Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story"

AS PLAYED BY:
Farrah Fawcett

BCnu......