"NIGHT GALLERY" - KEEPING AN EYE ON LESLIE NIELSEN

This may be the first time I actually took notice of Leslie Nielsen as an actor. I remember watching this at my grandmother's house when it first aired and being scared bleepless.

Even though there's a major gaffe - watch the eyepatch while Nielsen is lying in bed - I still find it creepy.
When I was a kid watching this, I thought that was Bradford Dillman as Fritz Weaver's father. What did I know back then? (Little more than I do now, I'm told.)

Anyway, allow me to play Count Floyd for a moment and say Aroooooooo! This is real scary, kids!

BCnU!

ECCE PROMO: GYLNE TIDER - "LET IT BE"

I'm not going to say anything about this. Mainly because I don't know what it was for. A promo for a talk show?

Anyway, Leslie Nielsen shows up in it and I think he might have employed his Hand-Gas during his clip.....

BCnU!

READY FOR FREDDIE: LESLIE NIELSEN & "THE GOLDEN GIRLS"

This is one clip I wish just kept on going......

Leslie Nielsen just fit so perfectly into their little corner of Miami. They couldn't have found a better actor to escort Bea Arthur out of the series......

BCnU!

LESLIE NIELSEN'S ADVERTS EFFECTS

Here's a couple of Leslie Nielsen quickies - one from the "Ecce Promo" category, and the other one a Dutch blipvert......


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL



DUTCH*TONE



BCnU!

"POLICE SQUAD" - THE MONTAGE

On Sunday, Inner Toob's Video Weekend will be featuring an entire episode of 'Police Squad' starring the late, great, Leslie Nielsen.

But as a preview, here's a collection of a running gag on the show.....

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: "THE SWAMP FOX"

As part of our ongoing "Hat Squad" tribute to the late Leslie Nielsen, and in connection with today's "As Seen On TV" showcase, here's the first episode of "The Swamp Fox", which was a regular "Frontierland" feature during 'Walt Disney's Wonderful World Of Color'.

As you watch the episode, keep an eye out for some great character actors - J. Pat O'Malley, Dabbs Greer, Richard Erdman, and perhaps even the ancestor of John Steed of 'The Avengers'! Tim Considine, who may be best known as the "forgotten" oldest sibling on 'My Three Sons', also shows up.


PART ONE




PART TWO




PART THREE




PART FOUR




PART FIVE




BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: THE SWAMP FOX

FRANCIS MARION

AS SEEN IN:
'Walt Disney's Wonderful World Of Color'
("Walt Disney Presents: The Swamp Fox")

AS PLAYED BY:
Leslie Nielsen

From Wikipedia:
Francis Marion (c. 1732 – February 26, 1795) was a military officer who served in the American Revolutionary War. Acting with Continental Army and South Carolina militia commissions, he was a persistent adversary of the British in their occupation of South Carolina in 1780 and 1781, even after the Continental Army was driven out of the state in the Battle of Camden.Due to his irregular methods of warfare, he is considered one of the fathers of modern guerrilla warfare, and is credited in the lineage of the United States Army Rangers.

Marion was not captured when Charleston fell on May 12, 1780, because he had broken an ankle in an accident and had left the city to recuperate.

After the loss in Charleston, the defeats of General Isaac Huger at Moncks Corner and Lieutenant Colonel Abraham Buford at the Waxhaw massacre (near the North Carolina border, in what is now Lancaster County), Marion organized a small unit, which at first consisted of between 20 and 70 men and was the only force then opposing the British Army in the state. At this point, Marion was still nearly crippled from the slowly-healing ankle.

Marion joined Major General Horatio Gates just before the Battle of Camden, but Gates had no confidence in him and sent him (mostly to get rid of him) to take command of the Williamsburg Militia in the Pee Dee area. Gates asked him to undertake scouting missions and to impede the expected flight of the British after the battle. Marion thus missed the battle, but was able to intercept and recapture 150 Maryland prisoners, plus about 20 of their British guards, who had been en route from the battle to Charleston. The freed prisoners, thinking the war was already lost, refused to join Marion and deserted.

Marion showed himself to be a singularly able leader of irregular militiamen. Unlike the Continental troops, Marion's Men, as they were known, served without pay, supplied their own horses, arms and often their food. All of Marion's supplies which were not obtained locally were captured from the British or Loyalist ("Tory") forces.

Marion rarely committed his men to frontal warfare, but repeatedly surprised larger bodies of Loyalists or British regulars with quick surprise attacks and equally quick withdrawal from the field. After the surrender of Charleston, the British garrisoned South Carolina with help from local Tories, except for Williamsburg (the present Pee Dee), which they were never able to hold. The British made one attempt to garrison Williamsburg at Willtown, but were driven out by Marion at the Mingo Creek.

The British especially hated Marion and made repeated efforts to neutralize his force, but Marion's intelligence gathering was excellent and that of the British was poor, due to the overwhelming Patriot loyalty of the populace in the Williamsburg area.

Some of these events have been fictionalized in the first episode, "Birth Of The Swamp Fox", which will be featured on the blog today........

BCnU!

SKED ALERT! "BOARDWALK EMPIRE" SEASON FINALE

We're a day early with the preview clips from 'Boardwalk Empire' because I want to dedicate just about the entire weekend to video memories of Leslie Nielsen.

Here then, are the preview clips. I hope you enjoyed the season!

Tune in Sunday night to HBO at 9:00 PM EST to see the season finale for 'Boardwalk Empire'!

BCnU!

A CHILES IS RE-BORN

THE RETURN OF JACKIE CHILES

By JAKE COYLE,
AP Entertainment Writer
Wed Dec 1, 2:39 pm ET

NEW YORK – Outrageous! Egregious! Preposterous!

More than a decade after "Seinfeld" ended, one of the TV series' most beloved characters has been reborn online. Jackie Chiles, the fast-talking attorney whose civil lawsuits were dependably foiled by Kramer, is starring in his own series on the comedy video website Funny or Die.

Chiles is played by Phil Morris, a [51]-year-old Los Angeles actor who never wanted to fully relinquish the role. After "Seinfeld" ended in 1998, Morris tried to develop a spin-off about Chiles, but it never got off the ground.

Morris also played Jackie Chiles in a couple of blipverts - one for the Honda Accord and another for Diet Dr. Pepper. (I did a quick search of YouTube, but apparently nobody loves Jackie enough to post those clips.)

But with 'Seinfeld', these 'Funny Or Die' videos, and those TV commercials, Jackie Chiles is eligible for membership in the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame.

BCnU!

EXPANDING TOOBWORLD ON "WATERLOO ROAD"

The BBC has announced that their drama 'Waterloo Road' will be launching an online spin-off from the original series which will show what's been happening to characters who have already graduated from that inner - city school.

I'm not familiar with the show at all, and I'm sure most of my readership (if any) are in the same boat. So here's the description supplied by an Anglophile named Ryan:

BBC drama set at a grim inner-city school where a new headmaster (Jason Merrells, Cutting It) tries to modernize despite the efforts of most of the lazy staff to sabotage him. Subplots revolve around the relationships of the staff and students, some of whom were involved in a fatal car accident.

You can find Ryan's website listed in the blogroll to the left.

The new online show is to be called 'Waterloo Road Reunited', and it won't just be a series of scripted episodes. There will also be fictional social network sites and audio clips.

“Unlike most dramas, Waterloo Road is unique in that every year popular characters have to leave the show because they leave school. We wanted to give fans a chance to follow their lives online. The video will focus on events that bring the ex-pupils together, but the story extends beyond video allowing the audience to follow their lives as if they were friends with them on Facebook.”
- Sarah Clay of BBC Drama

I'm not sure anybody outside of Great Britain will have access to that online content, which will debut in the Spring of next year. Meanwhile, 'Waterloo Road' itself will be back with its sixth season in 2011 as well.

BBCnU!

REMEMBERING - AND LINKING - FRANK JARVIS

An actor named Frank Jarvis recently passed away in Great Britain. The name may be as unfamiliar to you as it was to me, but if you've seen the original movie version of "The Italian Job" or you're an avid fan of 'Doctor Who', you've seen his work.

For you 'Doctor Who' fans among my readership (and you know who you are), he played a Corporal in "The War Machines", Ankh in "Underworld", and Skart in "The Power Of Kroll".

Many of the characters he played throughout his career went unnamed - small supporting roles that probably didn't even remain long in a scene. But of course, that's a boon for the Toobworld Dynamic because we can suggest that those characters could possibly be combined into one character and thus link those shows together. (All theoretical, of course.)

In the early '70's, Mr. Jarvis played policemen in episodes from four different series, and it's possible that they could all be the same man - if they all took place in the London area. I haven't seen any of them - at least, I don't think the 'Callan' episode fell into the Netflix mix I watched earlier this year - so I can't say with any certainty that it can be established that all of them are the same man.

Here are those four TV episodes:

"And Mother Makes Five"
Where Our Caravan Is Resting (1 May 1974) - Policeman

"A Pin to See the Peepshow"
Episode #1.4 (16 August 1973) - Policeman

"And Mother Makes Three"
The Eve of the Day (6 June 1973) - Policeman

"Callan"
I Never Wanted the Job (19 April 1972) - Detective Constable

I'd like to think that they're all one and the same man; it would make Mr. Jarvis' role a contender for the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame.

I'm not too familiar with the rank designations in the British police force, so I don't know if Detective Constables could also be lumped into the general category of "policemen". This might have caused a bit of a Zonk, since that episode of 'Callan' appeared first. But we could splain it away with a demotion on the part of Mr. Jarvis' Detective Constable for something that happened after the episode aired, but before his appearance in 'And Mother Makes Three'.

Then again, considering how violent things could get in 'Callan', that Detective Constable may not have lived to see a crossover into any other show. Even if that happened, we could still make the claim that the policeman played by Frank Jarvis in those other shows was the twin brother of the Detective Constable. And that he joined the force in his late brother's memory.

I was tempted to throw in the Corporal he played in that 'Doctor Who' story "The War Machines". As that was about half a dozen years before the 'Callan' episode, it could be that the Corporal cashiered out of military service and then joined the police force. (However, this being 'Doctor Who', the Corporal may have died after urging Sir Charles to flee before the onslaught of the War Machine. I'm not fully conversant on that storyline.)

Again, I haven't seen any of these episodes so I can't make any definitive declaration about my theories.

It may not be the best of legacies - Who am I kidding? It's definitely not! - but it would make for a nice, if small, tip of the hat to the man.....

BCnU

AS SEEN ON TV: MEYER LANSKY

MEYER LANSKY

AS SEEN IN:
'Boardwalk Empire'

AS PLAYED BY:
Anatol Yusef

From Wikipedia:
Meyer Lansky (born Meyer Suchowljanski) (July 4, 1902 – January 15, 1983), known as the "Mob's Accountant", was a Jewish-American organized crime figure who, along with his associate Charles "Lucky" Luciano, was instrumental in the development of the "National Crime Syndicate" in the United States.

Lansky developed a gambling empire which stretched from Saratoga to Miami to Council Bluffs and Las Vegas; it is also said that he oversaw gambling concessions in Cuba.

Although a member of the Jewish Mafia, Lansky undoubtedly had strong influence with the Italian Mafia and played a large role in the consolidation of the criminal underworld (although the full extent of this role has been the subject of some debate).Wikipedia's biography jumped right to the 1930's, with no mention of his activities in 1920 (the time period of 'Boardwalk Empire'.) Click here if you'd like to read more about Meyer Lansky at Wikipedia......

BCnU!

STOMPIN' AT THE TDOY

Every Monday, Ivan Shreve of 'Thrilling Days Of Yesteryear' (link to the left, Team Toobworld!) runs a feature called "Mayberry Mondays". Each week he dissects another episode of 'Mayberry RFD' and has just finished examining the first season.

With the second season premiere episode, Ivan asked me to participate, since "Andy's Baby" had Toobworld-shaking ramifications: Whatever happened to the baby Andy had with his second wife Helen? We never saw Andy Junior in the 1986 TV reunion movie "Return To Mayberry".....

Andy Junior would be forty-one years old now... if he was still alive. (Dunh dun DUNN!)

Ivan and I covered that topic in this week's "Mayberry Monday" , so I hope you check it out! And while you're there, check out everything else TDOY has to offer......

BCnU!

A MAGNUM OF END CREDITS

It might seem like the end credits for the "A.A.P.I." episode of 'Magnum P.I.' could have put the kibosh on the claim that the actual 'Kojak', 'Columbo', and Mike Stone of 'The Streets Of San Francisco' were in the show: But we've said this before: End credits have no effect on the TV Universe.

BCnU!

MAGNUM A TROIS

I was never a fan of 'Magnum P.I.' but I've seen a few episodes over the years. And I ordered one disk from Netflix just to get a few screen captchas important for Toobworld.....

In "A.A.P.I.", Eugene Roche returned as old school private eye Luther Gillis when Thomas Magnum was to receive the award for Private Eye Of The Year (Hawaiian chapter).

Even though it was the local award, the convention attracted a few police detectives from the mainland, as well as the Surete detective who would be the keynote speaker.

He ended up dead, and even though that was the focus of the episode, I'd rather bring your attention to the three American cops who were in attendance: In case you couldn't tell (and I didn't get one of them at all), they are - from the left:

Lt. Mike Stone of San Francisco
Lt. Columbo of Los Angeles
Lt. Theo Kojak of New York City

Basically this is all you see of them in the episode. They had no lines and no reference was made to their presence in the crowd. So I'm willing to accept that they are the real characters.

And I'm not the only one. The Wold Newton Universe has accepted them into its company as well.

Being played by other actors, there were of course some differences in how they look. (Mike Stone was the one who didn't really work for me. But that may have been because of his drastic change in wardrobe.) In general, I'm going to attribute any physical discrepancies to the rigors of long distance travel. Because of scheduling, they had to go to the convention straight from the airport.

Kojak and Columbo became nationally known figures, so they could trade on their well-known visages. As for Mike Stone, it wouldn't matter if people didn't recognize him - he was probably carrying his American Express card.

I'll bet he never left home without it......

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: IKE HOOVER

IKE HOOVER

AS SEEN IN:
'Backstairs At The White House'

AS PLAYED BY:
Leslie Nielsen

From Wikipedia:
Irwin Hood Hoover, (October 24, 1871–September 14, 1933), also known as "Ike," was, for many years, the White House Chief Usher.

He was born in Washington, D.C., the son of a grocer. As an employee of the Edison Company, he was sent to the White House on May 6, 1891, during the Benjamin Harrison administration, to install the first electric lights. He stayed on as permanent electrician, and soon accepted a position on ushers' force, and under the Taft Administration was appointed Chief Usher. He held this position until his death in 1933.

During these forty-two years of service, Ike Hoover had intimate daily contact with ten Presidents, their wives, and their families. As Chief Usher he was the executive head of the household, in charge of all social affairs and entrusted with confidential matters of every description. It was also his duty to welcome guests of the President, to arrange the details of their visits, and to make them feel at home in the White House (a difficult task).

As 'Backstairs At The White House' was broadcast in 1979, the role of Ike Hoover probably marks the last major dramatic role Mr. Nielsen would play before his career took an amazing trajectory into comedy for the next thirty years, following 'Airplane!' in 1980.

BCnU....

AS SEEN ON TV: ROCK HUDSON

ROCK HUDSON

AS SEEN IN:
"Dynasty: The Making Of A Guilty Pleasure"

AS PLAYED BY:
Robert Coleby

From Wikipedia:
In the early 1980s, following years of heavy drinking and smoking, Hudson began having health problems which resulted in a heart attack in November 1981. Emergency quintuple heart bypass surgery sidelined Hudson and his new TV show 'The Devlin Connection' for a year; the show was canceled in December 1982 not long after it first aired. Hudson recovered from the heart surgery but continued to smoke.

During 1984, Hudson's health grew worse, prompting different rumors that he was suffering from liver cancer, among other ailments, due to his increasingly gaunt face and build.
From December 1984 to April 1985, Hudson landed a recurring role on the ABC prime time soap opera 'Dynasty' as Daniel Reece, the love interest for Krystle Carrington (played by Linda Evans) and biological father of the character Sammy Jo Carrington (Heather Locklear). While he had long been known to have difficulty memorizing lines which resulted in his use of cue cards, on 'Dynasty' it was Hudson's speech itself that began to deteriorate. Hudson was originally slated to appear for the duration of the show's 5th season, however, due to his progressing illness, his character was abruptly written out of the show and died offscreen. Hudson had been diagnosed with HIV on June 5, 1984, but when the signs of illness became apparent, his publicity staff and doctors told the public he had inoperable liver cancer. It was not until July 25, 1985, while in Paris for treatment, that Hudson issued a press release announcing that he was dying of AIDS. In a later press release, Hudson speculated he might have contracted HIV through transfused blood from an infected donor during the multiple blood transfusions he received as part of his heart bypass procedure in 1981.

Hudson flew back to Los Angeles on July 31, where he was so physically weak he was taken off by stretcher from an Air France Boeing 747, which he chartered and upon which he was the sole passenger, along with his medical attendants. He was flown by helicopter to Cedars Sinai Hospital, where he spent nearly a month undergoing further treatment. When the doctors told him there was no hope of saving his life, since the disease had progressed into the advanced stages, Hudson returned to his house, 'The Castle', in Beverly Hills, where he remained in seclusion until his death on October 2, 1985 at 08:37 PDT.

"Rock Hudson's death gave AIDS a face."
Morgan Fairchild

BCnU.......

TOOB-NOTES: A DAY WITHOUT ART

In observance of December 1st being World AIDS Day, marked with the theme of "A Day Without Art", the Wednesday edition of the "As Seen On TV" showcase will be the only post here at Inner Toob for the day.

I'll be remembering one of my best friends, Keith B., during that time.....

THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY: EVERSHED & SHAND

When Ruth Evershed was recruited into MI-5 from the Government Communications Headquarters, no one could have predicted that her sister Linda might one day prove to be a liability that could compromise Ruth's effectiveness as an operative.

Not that it was Linda's fault. She was married to Graham Shand, a serial killer who would pick up women in an unlicensed cab and then murder them, leaving their bodies in a prescribed fashion. Earlier this year, Graham Shand was finally captured, but not before he murdered Linda's lover. As he was being led away to the police car, Linda Shand rushed up behind the cops and sank a claw hammer into the back of her husband's head.

For several years, Ruth Evershed was considered dead, but it had all been staged to help save MI-5 from an internal plot by the government to make torture acceptable to the public. When she resurfaced in 2009, she may not have let her sister know the truth; so it's pozz'ble that Linda may have suddenly suspected that Ruth had also been one of her husband's victims when she went after him with the hammer. The relationship between Ruth and Linda has never been acknowledged, of course, but it's hard to "refudiate" the evidence of their physical resemblance to each other. Still, this has to remain a theory.

SHOWS CITED:
Ruth Evershed - 'Spooks' ('MI-5' in America)
Linda Shand - 'Luther'

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: RACHEL MADDOW

RACHEL MADDOW

AS SEEN IN:
'State Of The Union'

AS PLAYED BY:
Tracey Ullman

From Wikipedia:
Rachel Anne Maddow (born April 1, 1973) is an American radio personality, television host, and political commentator. Her syndicated talk radio program, The Rachel Maddow Show, aired on Air America Radio. Maddow hosts a nightly television show, The Rachel Maddow Show, on MSNBC. She was also a guest host of Countdown with Keith Olbermann and Race for the White House. Maddow is the first openly gay anchor to be hired to host a prime-time news program in the United States.

Asked about her political views by the Valley Advocate, Maddow replied, "I'm undoubtedly a liberal, which means that I'm in almost total agreement with the Eisenhower-era Republican party platform."

RACHEL MADDOW

AS SEEN ON:
'Saturday Night Live'

AS PLAYED BY:
Abby Elliott

Two for Tuesday!

BCnU!

THE MUNCH MENTION: SCENE AND UNSEEN

Right after I watched the season finale of 'Luther', I added the second disk of the show to my Netflix queue. First off, my DVR didn't catch the last minute or so. And as it turned out, I actually preferred how it cut off - the silhouhette of John Luther, Alice Morgan, and Mark North were seen against the great glass windows of a deserted railway station.

But the main reason I needed to get that disk was for the penultimate (fifth) episode, one which crossoverists and televisiologists in America (I'm not the only one, you know!) had been waiting for since its British broadcast in June.

DCI Luther realized there had to be a reason why the young woman in the kidnap gang didn't show up on their radar: "She may not have been our problem up until now, but she was somebody's. You don't start off with kidnapping; you work your way up to it." he said. That's when Luther told Ripley to contact Detective Munch in New York; that he was in the SVU squad.......

THE MUNCH MENTION (EDITED OUT)

THE AFTER-MATH (TELEVISED)

When that episode aired on BBC-America, my DVR didn't pick up the episode at all. Sunday night programming for me was quite over-crowded that night. So I watched it via BBC-A on demand. And it was heralded as "The Director's Cut."

Well, for some reason, the director decided to excise that scene so that the American audience couldn't see it.

I only watched that scene (and the one leading up to it) and could see even more edits from the version on BBC-America. Subtle stuff - reaction shots, a few quick lines of dialogue, that sort of thing. They may not have been significant, but they did enrich the experience.

From the Toobworld perspective, they could have shredded the American version and it wouldn't have made any difference. That episode of 'Luther' had already been broadcast in Britain, so it's the version that becomes part of the TV Universe.

The same goes with the edited scenes in American shows once they go into syndication and room must be made for even more commercials.

So, conspiracy nut that I am, BBC-America didn't want us to see that scene - who knows? Maybe they were afraid of lawsuits. But I bet Tom Fontana would have lent his support, since he was a major supporter of the Munch connections.

If I was tech-savvy, I would have lifted that scene off the disk and posted it to YouTube. Viva liberación!

BCnU!

DOUBLE VISION: A PLOY UNPLAYED

Emmett Clayton was a world champion chess player who murdered his Russian rival because the man would most likely beat him in a highly publicized chess match. But Lt. Columbo was able to prove that he had committed the crime.

One thing that Columbo might have learned from Clayton (although it's more likely he already knew this) was to always be a few moves ahead of your opponent. Because of this, he may have had an alternate plan in mind when he was investigating the death of a man who was originally believed to be A.J. Henderson, but proved to be a secret agent code-named "Geronimo".

Ultimately he nailed the murderer, a double-agent named Nelson "Curtis" Brenner (known as Number 12 in "The Village"), with evidence that proved he had to be in a certain place at a certain time - which destroyed his alibi.

However, the Lieutenant may have had another option ready to play just in case Brenner found some way to weasel out of that proof.

Unlike his boss (Chief of Homicide Amos Burke) who eventually developed Alzheimer's and couldn't remember when murder cases were repeated, Columbo would have remembered one of his earlier cases, the Chadwick murder, in which Beth Chadwick killed her domineering older brother. Eventually she was undone by the testimony of the man she loved, Peter Hamilton, who proved to be more decent than she gave him credit for.

Peter Hamilton bore a strong resemblance to "Geronimo"; one might almost have assumed that they were twins.

With the blessing of Secret Agent X-9, the CIA chief at the time, Lt. Columbo might have considered using Mr. Hamilton in a ploy to convince Nelson Brenner that the victim was actually still alive, that his death was all a CIA cover-up in order to prove Brenner was a double agent also working as "Steinmetz". Hamilton's supposedly secret whereabouts would be somehow leaked to Brenner in order to draw him out - so that he would be caught red-handed trying to finish the job.

But of course, there was no need for this deception to be put into action.

This theory doesn't serve to link two series together; it's already established both episodes are connected through 'Columbo', O'Bviously. But it's just one of the Hat Squad tributes I hope to be putting up in memory of Leslie Nielsen, who played both Peter Hamilton and "Geronimo". (On Saturday and Sunday I hope to devote most of the Video Weekend to him.)

SHOWS CITED:
'Columbo' - "Lady In Waiting" & "Identity Crisis" & "The Most Dangerous Match"
'The Prisoner' - "Schizoid Man"
'Burke's Law' - "Who Killed Merlin The Great?" & "Who Killed Alexander The Great?"

BCnU!

PS:
I was tempted to make the claim that Peter Hamilton himself was the secret agent Geronimo, but where was the sport in that?

LESLIE NIELSEN - ONCE LIVE FROM NEW YORK

I started googling for Leslie Nielsen info when I heard he died and came across an online campaign to get him to host 'Saturday Night Live' a la Betty White. But he already hosted the show; whoever started this campaign was probably too young to remember it. (Use that energy to get Dick Van Dyke to host! Now there's an opportunity that's been squandered all these years.)

Anyway, there was one sketch with Mr. Nielsen that I've always remembered - a great live commercial testimonial for Geritech products.

Thanks to the Saturday Night Live Transcripts site, here's that sketch......

Geritech

Stagehand.....Bob Van Ry

Leslie Nielsen as himself
~
Stangehand: Here are the script changes, Mr. Neilsen.

Leslie Neilsen: Thank you, Bobby. [ puts script down, looks at camera ] Hello. I'm Leslie Neilsen, liver spot sufferer. You know, people ask me, "Leslie, after so many years in television and movies, are you at all embarrassed about appearing in ads for Blotch-Off?" [ holds up product ] A liver spot remover from Geritech that works while you sleep. The answer is no, because Blotch-Off really works. You see, I used to be covered with ugly, embarrassing old-age spots. You see, that could be a real problem in my profession.

[ walks over to second product ] Not as big a problem, however, as a loss of bladder control. Now, imagine doing a scene with some lovely young actress, and soiling both your costume and hers. Now, that can be embarrassing. That's why I wear Dripmaster.. [ holds product ] ..the undergarment from Geritech that takes the worry out of walking around. In fact, I'm relieving myself right now!

[ steps aside to next product ] I'm just stepping over here now, because I'd like to tell you about something that I'm really proud of. Bung-King Hemmorhoidal Cream. You may think your hemmorhoidal prepration is top-notch, but Bung-King from Geritech is the only hemmorhoidal cream with that.. [ bell rings ] ..patch of lanolin. So, the next time you feel that burning, painful itch, reach for Bung-King, the only hemmorhoidal cream and suppository with my face on it.

[ walks to the side again ] Now I know you're thinking about.. [ echo ] ..diarrhea! Well, I'm just an actor, but I get diarrhea all the time. That's why.. [ holds up product ] ..Solidex is always in my medicine cabient, and in my make-up kit.

Stangehand: Ready for another take, Mr. Neilsen.

Leslie Neilsen: Well, gotta go! [ smiles ] And I'm ready, thanks to Blotch-Off, Dripmaster, Bung-King and Solidex. Now, I can concrentrate on my craft.

Announcer: Ask for the Geritech line of personal products when you have a problem that's embarrassing.

Leslie Neilsen: Tell them.. Leslie sent you!

Announcer: Meet Leslie Nielsen at a Wal-Mart near you, and ask Leslie to sign your Dripmaster carton!

Leslie Neilsen: If you think I'm embarrassed endorsing the Geritech line of products, you just don't know me.

BCnU.....

"OVER THERE" IN 'FRINGE': THAT BOGARTED JOINT

Speaking of alternate TV dimensions......


"Over There" - the only other dimension known by the Homeland Security off-shoot called 'Fringe' division - has several major differences with the main Toobworld. Homeland Security works out of the basement of the Statue of Liberty; there's a "Red Arrow" comic book instead of "Green Arrow"; and two classic Humphrey Bogart movies starred other actors. Cary Grant apparently was Sam Spade in "The Maltese Falcon" and Ronald Reagan played Rick Blaine in "Casablanca". (Reagan was the original casting choice for the movie when it was still in the development stages.) It makes one wonder if Bogie ever became an actor "Over There".......


Here's what Wikipedia has to say about that distinctive scar on Bogart's lip:

It was during his naval stint that Bogart may have gotten his trademark scar and developed his characteristic lisp, though the actual circumstances are unclear. In one account, during a shelling of his ship the USS Leviathan, his lip was cut by a piece of shrapnel, although some claim Bogart did not make it to sea until after the Armistice was signed.

Another version, which Bogart's long time friend, author Nathaniel Benchley, claims is the truth, is that Bogart was injured while on assignment to take a naval prisoner to Portsmouth Naval Prison in Kittery, Maine. Supposedly, while changing trains in Boston, the handcuffed prisoner asked Bogart for a cigarette and while Bogart looked for a match, the prisoner raised his hands, smashed Bogart across the mouth with his cuffs, cutting Bogart's lip, and fled. The prisoner was eventually taken to Portsmouth. An alternate explanation is in the process of uncuffing an inmate, Bogart was struck in the mouth when the inmate wielded one open, uncuffed bracelet while the other side was still on his wrist.

According to Darwin Porter's Humphrey Bogart: The Early Years, the scar was caused by his father, Belmont, during a terrible argument.

It doesn't matter what the truth is behind the scar as far as that "Over There" dimension is concerned. We know history is changed there.

So maybe that ship the Leviathan was destroyed when it was shelled; or at the very least, sailor Humphrey Bogart was killed in that explosion. So that would serve as the reason why Bogie never went on to make any movies.

No Bogie in "The Maltese Falcon", "Here's looking at you, Kid" would probably not have the same resonance without him in "Casablanca", no chance to recreate his Broadway triumph in "Petrified Forest" since he wouldn't have been around to do that either. (Edward G. Robinson was the original choice by the studio to transfer the role of Duke Mantee to the screen, so maybe that's how it still played out without Bogie's appeal to the play's producer to intercede.)

There would be no "Sabrina", no "Treasure Of Sierra Madre". And since he wasn't around to make "To Have And Have Not", the life of Lauren Bacall would have been significantly different as well. First off - since she wouldn't have been married to him, there would be no Stephen or Leslie Bogart in their world. Even her career would have been significantly different. If she didn't make a big splash in that movie (Great as she was in "To Have And Have Not", her star power was augmented by her romance with her much older co-star.), she might not have been offered the other roles that came along.

Or Bogie was alive and just didn't attain stardom; he could have lived but might have been seriously injured in that explosion. When the bandages came off... blerg.

Maybe he remained a stage manager and/or a struggling screenwriter......

Aren't you glad you live in the Trueniverse?

BCnU!

NBC YA LATER!

We already know that 'Human Target' has to be in another TV dimension. Their world has a totally different Queen Elizabeth of England, and a Princess of Wales to boot (a title which doesn't even exist in our world). But now we might have another bit o' trivia that demonstrates their other-Toobworldliness.

They don't have an NBC.

Actually they do have an NBC TV network, but it's not the Peacock Throne of the National Broadcasting Company. At the end of the latest episode of 'Human Target', their client told Winston and Ilsa that she had given the information to a trusted friend who was a reporter on the National Business Channel.

National Business Channel - NBC.

The acronyms for all of the various broacast networks stand for something - TCM (Turner Classic Movies), CBS (Columbia Broadcasting Systems), FOX (Far-right Operated Xenophobes) - and they must have those acronyms protected. So I don't think a National Business Channel would be able to use "NBC" if the original NBC was in existence.

What could have taken its place among the first big three networks? Maybe General David Sarnoff didn't rip off Philo Farnsworth; maybe Farnsworth became the media giant he deserved to be. So maybe what was NBC in our world (and the main Toobworld) could have been FBC over there. And if so, then there would not be a Fox Business Channel, and that would bring it all full circle. (N)BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: C.S. LEWIS

C.S. Lewis was born on this date in 1898.....

C.S. LEWIS

AS SEEN IN:
"C.S. Lewis: Beyond Narnia"

AS PLAYED BY:
Anton Rogers - C.S. Lewis
Adam Davy - Young Man Lewis
Leo Potter - Child Lewis

From Wikipedia:
Clive Staples Lewis (29 November 1898 – 22 November 1963), commonly referred to as C. S. Lewis and known to his friends and family as "Jack", was an Irish-born British novelist, academic, medievalist, literary critic, essayist, lay theologian and Christian apologist. He is also known for his fiction, especially "The Screwtape Letters", "The Chronicles of Narnia" and "The Space Trilogy".

Lewis was a close friend of J. R. R. Tolkien, and both authors were leading figures in the English faculty at Oxford University and in the informal Oxford literary group known as the "Inklings". According to his memoir "Surprised by Joy", Lewis had been baptised in the Church of Ireland at birth, but fell away from his faith during his adolescence.

Owing to the influence of Tolkien and other friends, at the age of 32 Lewis returned to Christianity, becoming "a very ordinary layman of the Church of England". His conversion had a profound effect on his work, and his wartime radio broadcasts on the subject of Christianity brought him wide acclaim.

In 1956, he married the American writer Joy Gresham, 17 years his junior, who died four years later of cancer at the age of 45.

Lewis died three years after his wife, as the result of renal failure. His death came one week before his 65th birthday. Media coverage of his death was minimal, as he died on 22 November 1963 – the same day that U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, and the same day another famous author, Aldous Huxley, died.
Lewis's works have been translated into more than 30 languages and have sold millions of copies. The books that make up The Chronicles of Narnia have sold the most and have been popularised on stage, TV, radio and cinema.

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: HOW SMALL IS YOURS?

My thanks again to FB friend J.r. for posting these clips from 'Corner Gas'......

I'd never be involved in this argument. I don't even have one.

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: "DEPUTY DAWG"

I often use the TV phrase "It's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble" in the blog, as well as my own variations like the noun "pozz'bility". It comes from a Tooniverse character named Muskie Muskrat, found in "Deputy Dawg" cartoons.

For a long time I was posting his name as Mushrat. I could have sworn that was his name. But as you'll see.....

Here's a "Deputy Dawg" cartoon in case you're unfamiliar with the series. Or if you just want to relive a small chunk of your childhood......

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: "CORNER GAS" (FIRST SCENE)

I've heard of this show, but this is the first time I've seen a clip from it. My thanks to FB friend J.r. for posting this......

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: SUPERMAN'S FUNERAL

Skitlandia is full of discrepancies. I think Superman was resurrected later in this series, if not in some other sketch comedy venue......

Funeral For a Friend. Superman's Funeral. Viral/Other SPIKE.com

Don't worry, kids. He's only dead in the main Toobworld....

BCnU!

VIDEO WEEKEND: THE ANGRY BIRDS PEACE TALKS

I didn't know if I really had another Video Weekend Sunday in me, but thanks to fellow "Iddiot" Steve Lederman, I have this to share with you.....

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: SENATOR WARREN HARDING

SENATOR WARREN G. HARDING

AS SEEN IN:
'Boardwalk Empire'

AS PLAYED BY:
Malachi Cleary

From Wikipedia:
Warren Gamaliel Harding (November 2, 1865 – August 2, 1923) was the 29th President of the United States, serving from 1921 until his death from a heart attack in 1923. A Republican from Ohio, Harding was an influential newspaper publisher. He served in the Ohio Senate (1899–1903) and later as the 28th Lieutenant Governor of Ohio (1903–1905) and as a U.S. Senator (1915–1921). He was the first incumbent United States Senator to be elected President.

Relatively unknown outside his own state, Harding was a true "dark horse" candidate, winning the Republican Party nomination due to the political machinations of his friends after the nominating convention had become deadlocked. Republican leaders meeting in Room 404 of the Blackstone Hotel in Chicago discussed Harding as a possible compromise candidate. This was only one of many informal meetings taking place at the time and, contrary to popular stories, there is little evidence of a deal having been struck in this "smoke-filled room". Rather, since the three leading candidates were unable to gain a majority, the effort was made to assemble a majority for one of the remaining candidates.

The first attempt was made with Harding, as "best of the second raters", who won on the tenth ballot. Before receiving the nomination, Harding was asked whether there were any embarrassing episodes in his past that might be used against him. Despite his longstanding affair with the wife of an old friend, Harding answered "No", and the Party moved to nominate him, only to discover later his relationship with Carrie Fulton Phillips. At around this time Harding, a Freemason, was raised to the Sublime Degree of a Master Mason.

In the 1920 election, Harding ran against Democratic Ohio Governor James M. Cox, whose running-mate was Assistant Secretary of the Navy Franklin D. Roosevelt. The election was seen in part as a referendum on whether to continue with the "progressive" work of the Woodrow Wilson Administration or to revert to the "laissez-faire" approach of the William McKinley era.

Harding ran on a promise to "Return to Normalcy", a seldom-used term he popularized. The slogan called an end to the abnormal era of the Great War, along with a call to reflect three trends of his time: a renewed isolationism in reaction to the War, a resurgence of nativism, and a turning away from the government activism of the reform era.

Harding's "front porch campaign" during the late summer and fall of 1920 captured the imagination of the country. Not only was it the first campaign to be heavily covered by the press and to receive widespread newsreel coverage, but it was also the first modern campaign to use the power of Hollywood and Broadway stars, who travelled to Marion for photo opportunities with Harding and his wife. Al Jolson, Lillian Russell, Douglas Fairbanks, and Mary Pickford were among the conservative-minded luminaries to make the pilgrimage to his house in central Ohio. Business icons Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Harvey Firestone also lent their cachet to the campaign. From the onset of the campaign until the November election, over 600,000 people travelled to Marion to participate.

The campaign owed a great deal to Florence Harding, who played perhaps a more active role than any previous candidate's wife in a presidential race. She cultivated the relationship between the campaign and the press. As the business manager of the Star, she understood reporters and their industry. She played to their needs by being freely available to answer questions, pose for pictures, or deliver food prepared in her kitchen to the press office, a bungalow which she had constructed at the rear of their property in Marion. Mrs. Harding even coached her husband on the proper way to wave to newsreel cameras to make the most of coverage.

The campaign also drew upon Harding's popularity with women. Considered handsome, Harding photographed well compared to Cox. However, it was mainly Harding's support in the Senate for women's suffrage legislation that made him more popular with that demographic: the ratification of the 19th Amendment in August 1920 brought huge crowds of women to Marion, Ohio, to hear Harding. Immigrant groups who had made up an important part of the Democratic coalition, such as ethnic Germans and Irish, also voted for Harding in the election in reaction to their perceived persecution by the Wilson administration during World War I.

During the campaign, political opponents spread rumors that Harding's great-great-grandfather was a West Indian black person and that other blacks might be found in his family tree. In an era when the "one-drop rule" would classify a person with any African ancestry as black, and black people in the South had been effectively disfranchised, Harding's campaign manager responded, "No family in the state (of Ohio) has a clearer, a more honorable record than the Hardings', a blue-eyed stock from New England and Pennsylvania, the finest pioneer blood." Historian and opponent William Estabrook Chancellor publicized the rumors, based on supposed family research, but perhaps reflecting no more than local gossip. The rumors may have been sustained by a statement Harding allegedly made to newspaperman James W. Faulkner on the subject, which he perhaps meant to be dismissive: "How do I know, Jim? One of my ancestors may have jumped the fence." If the rumors are ever proven to be true, by some definitions Harding would be considered to be the first African-American president.

The election of 1920 was the first in which women could vote nationwide. It was also the first presidential election to be covered on the radio, thanks to the nation's first commercial radio station, KDKA in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Harding received 60% of the national vote and 404 electoral votes, an unprecedented margin of victory. Cox received 34% of the national vote and 127 electoral votes. Campaigning from a federal prison, Socialist Eugene V. Debs received 3% of the national vote.

"That imbecile is going to be the next president of the United States.”
Nucky Thompson
'Boardwalk Empire'

BCnU!