Saturday, June 27, 2009

TRANSFORMING TELEVISION

Michael Bay's "Transformers" sequel, "Revenge Of The Fallen", looks to be one of the big blockbusters this summer.

That's the "Cineverse" ( a term coined by Craig Shaw Gardner).

'The Transformers' previously had life in the Tooniverse back in the 1980's. This led to a theatrically released feature which included Orson Welles in its voice cast. And thanks to 'Robot Chicken', the Transformers also have a place in that weird little claymation/action figure TV dimension.

Earth Prime-Time can now legitimately lay claim to having its own version of 'The Transformers', thanks to a merchandising tie-in blipvert from Burger King.

I say Earth Prime-Time can now "legitimately" claim its own version because it is the Toobworld contention that the Transformers have long lived in the TV Universe. They've just never been identified as such.

We've seen them mostly in commercials. Whenever you've had talking appliances or singing toilets, those were Transformers in all likelihood. (Those singing toilets were probably serving a prison sentence; and like most chain gangs, they sang to ease their burden.)

Remember Milton the Toaster, whose voice sounded suspiciously like William Schallert's?

A Transformer.

We usually equate Transformers with automobiles, but the three most famous sentient cars had other origins.

'My Mother The Car' - was the reincarnation of Gladys Crabtree.

'Knight Rider' Two Thousand (aka KITT) - was an artificial intelligence designed at Knight Industries using Cylon technology. (Popular theory adopted by Toobworld Central)

'The Twilight Zone' had a car owned by Oliver Pope in "You Drive" that literally drove him to confess to a hit-and-run. That car was possessed. That new Quizno's ad in which the talking oven begs Scott to "put it in" - that's a Transformer. And one with a twisted relationship with a human....

And with a recent ESPN promo, we get a crossover between 'The Transformers' and 'The Terminator':



I'm thinking that's an alliance that's not long for this Toobworld....

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: AVA GARDNER

AVA GARDNER
AS SEEN IN:
"Sinatra"

AS PLAYED BY:
Marcia Gay Harden

BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD: MICHAEL JACKSON

After posting the picture of Michael Jackson in the Tooniverse, I was asked by a friend of mine if I was going to give the self-proclaimed King of Pop a proper "Hat Squad" tribute.

Quite frankly, I wasn't planning on it. Between the allegations against him, the massive plastic surgery, and the situation with his own children, "Wacko Jacko" always creeped me out. And that's saying something when I get creeped out by something.....

But I've thought it over, and there is something that should be recognized in his career which had quite an impact on Toobworld.

From Wikipedia:

Following the successful chart performances of "Thriller" and "The Girl Is Mine", "Billie Jean" was released on January 2, 1983, as the album's second single. "Billie Jean" was a worldwide commercial and critical success; it became one of the best-selling singles of 1983, and topped both the US and UK charts simultaneously. Considered one of the most revolutionary songs in history, "Billie Jean" was certified platinum in 1989.


Honoured numerous times—including two Grammy Awards, one American Music Award and an induction into the Music Video Producers Hall of Fame—the song and corresponding music video propelled Thriller into the best-selling album of all time. The song was promoted with a short film that broke down MTV's racial barrier as the first video by a black artist to be aired by the channel, and an Emmy-nominated performance on "Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever", in which Jackson premiered "the moonwalk." The song was also promoted through Jackson's Pepsi commercials; during the filming of one commercial, Jackson's scalp was severely burned.

The short film for Jackson's "Billie Jean" is considered the video that brought MTV, a relatively unknown music channel, into mainstream attention. It was the first video by a black artist to be aired by the channel, as they felt black music wasn't "rock" enough.

Directed by Steve Barron, the video shows a paparazzo following Jackson. The paparazzo never catches the singer, and when photographed Jackson fails to materialise on the developed picture. Dancing his way to Billie Jean's hotel room, Jackson walks along a sidewalk, each tile lighting up at his touch. Performing a quick spin, Jackson jumps and lands, freeze framed, on his toes. Upon arriving at the hotel, Jackson climbs the staircase to Billie Jean's room. Each step lights up as he touches it and a burnt out "Hotel" sign illuminates as he passes.

Arriving at the scene, the paparazzo watches as Jackson disappears under the covers of Billie Jean's bed. Trailed by the police, the paparazzo is then arrested for spying on the couple.

Jackson sported a new look for the video; Jheri curled hair and a surgically sculpted nose. Jackson's look, a black leather suit with a pink shirt and bow tie, was copied by children around the US. Imitation became so severe that despite pupil protests Bound Brook High School banned students from wearing a single white glove like Jackson had on "Motown 25".

Walter Yetnikoff, the president of Jackson's record label, CBS, approached MTV to play the "Billie Jean" video. Yetnikoff became enraged when MTV refused to play the video, and threatened to go public with MTV's stance on black musicians:

"I said to MTV, ‘I’m pulling everything we have off the air, all our product. I’m not going to give you any more videos. And I’m going to go public and fucking tell them about the fact you don’t want to play music by a black guy.’"

MTV relented and played the "Billie Jean" video in heavy rotation. With the airing of the video, "Thriller" went on to sell an additional 10 million copies. The short film earned Jackson the Billboard Video Award for Best Overall Video and he was inducted into the Music Video Producers Hall of Fame in 1992.

In a 2005 poll, the music video was ranked as the fifth greatest music video ever. The poll was of 31 pop stars, video directors, agents and journalists, including Natasha Bedingfield, Björk, Fatboy Slim, Avril Lavigne and Amy Winehouse. Thriller ranked at number two, behind Johnny Cash's "Hurt". The video was also ranked as the 35th greatest music video in a list compiled by MTV and TV Guide at the millennium.

When reports of Jackson's death came on June 25, 2009, MTV interrupted its programming and played the video in tribute to him.

Wikipedia has more about the "Billie Jean" music video.....

Otherwise, in the grand scheme of Toobworld, there's not much else to relate about Michael Jackson. Sure, he appeared in lots of variety shows and reunited with his brothers to present their own variety program in 1976. But many musicians do the same, and that doesn't rate them a tip o' the Toob topper.....

As already mentioned, he was represented in the Tooniverse by 'The Jackson 5ive', as well as in that claymation/action figure TV dimension of 'Robot Chicken'. The TV dimension full of those behind-the-scenes docu-dramas about TV shows would probably be the home for the TV movie "The Jacksons: An American Dream". In that, Jackson was portrayed by Wylie Draper, who passed away himself a year after the TV movie aired.

And so it goes....

BCnU....

Friday, June 26, 2009

MERLIN & MOLINA

Thinking about how this new series about 'Merlin', previously shown on the BBC and now on NBC over here, led me to wonder what TV dimension should be its home. It certainly can't reside in Earth Prime-Time; I think that tele-version of the wizard should hue closely to the legends.

So I thought that at least it should keep company with another adaptation - this time a one-shot TV movie - which also took great liberties with the original source material.

And that would be the adaptation of Agatha Christie's most famous novel, "Murder On The Orient Express", with Alfred Molina as Hercule Poirot. In that production, characters were cut out; liberties were taken with the plot; and oddest of all, Poirot had an active sex life!

So this story about the boy Merlin being of the same age as Arthur, and with the possibility that the future Guinevere might be interracial*, would fit comfortably in such a TV Land as would accept Molina's Poirot.

BCnU!


*Although I'm not altogether sure Gwen will turn out to be Guinevere.....

AS SEEN ON TV: ED, FARRAH, AND MICHAEL

Due to the events of the last three days, today's "As Seen On TV" is a triple feature...

We've lost three major entertainers in the past three days:

Ed McMahon, the ultimate late-night sidekick and pitchman,
Farrah Fawcett, the sex symbol of the 1970's,
Michael Jackson, the self-proclaimed King of Pop

For all that they contributed to the world of show business, each of them shared at least one factor in common - they all had cartoon versions of themselves appear in the TV dimension known as the Tooniverse.

ED McMAHON

Ed McMahon played a virtual reality version of himself in an episode of 'Duck Dodgers'. It was part of the testing Duck Dodgers had to go through in order to be re-certified as an agent of the Protectorate.

FARRAH FAWCETT

On an episode of 'Johnny Bravo', we learned that Farrah was the cousin of the little girl who lived next door to Johnny. And he attempted all sorts of schemes in order to get into the birthday party so that he could get a kiss from the only person who had hair as good as his own.

MICHAEL JACKSON

Of the three, he was the only one to have a regular presence in an animated series ('The Jackson 5ive'). However, Michael's voice was only heard in the songs. His speaking voice was provided by Donald Fullilove. (All of the Jacksons were played by voice actors due to their other commitments.)

May all three of them rest in peace.....

BCnU!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

THE HAT SQUAD: FARRAH

The poster to the right is how many of us will remember Farrah Fawcett: I think it's the way we should remember her, rather than as the frail, gentle lady who was wasting away this last year. Nor should her antics on Letterman's show back in 1997 serve to blot out the memory of Farrah as the pin-up dreamgirl for so many lads back in the mid-70's. Jill Munroe, one of the first of 'Charlie's Angels', will always come first to mind when we think of her roles in TV and the movies; but she also made important contributions to Toobworld - like the abused wife who stood up for herself in "The Burning Bed".

I liked that poster as well, not that I had it but I know it was hanging in several dorm rooms at T-House. But it was these two pictures of Farrah that I liked more:
It's something about that full-on gaze framed by that hair....

Like I said, she contributed plenty of characters to Toobworld besides Jill Munroe. I think the one that first put her into the public's mind was that of Sue Ingham on 'Harry O'. In this last decade, two of her recurring roles were of Mary Gressler on 'The Guardian' (and I'll frankly confess I never even heard of the show before today), and as Judge Claire Simmons in the alternate TV dimension for 'Spin City'.

And then there's her tele-version, that Farrah Fawcett of the League of Themselves who did things the real life Farrah never did.....

"So noTORIous"
- Plucky (Pilot) (2006)

"The Larry Sanders Show"
- Eight (1995)

"The Fall Guy"
- The Fall Guy (1981)

"The Brady Bunch Hour"
- Episode #1.1 (1977)

That last one is a variety show, but everybody else on the show was fictional, transplanted from an earlier sitcom. (The splainin for the one recastaway among the Brady Bunch is too lengthy to go into here. And this is a tribute to Farrah.....)

There was another TV credit among those in which she was supposedly playing an actual character.....

"Mayberry R.F.D.".... Show Girl #1
- Millie, the Model (1969)

In this episode, Millie goes to New York thinking that she's going to have a career as a model. Sam Jones finally went up to the Big Apple to check on her and find out why he hadn't heard from her in two weeks.....

Farrah played the first show girl; that's all we know the character as.

So I'm thinking.... everything else about the tele-version of Farrah Fawcett has been fictionalized; why not the early days of her career when she was just starting out and hoping to make her big break?

Why couldn't "Show Girl #1" actually be Farrah Fawcett as herself?

She even had a version of herself over in the Tooniverse. Like many other celebrities, her animated self was related to a fictional TV character. In Farrah's case, it was the little girl who lived next door to 'Johnny Bravo'.

And as a cartoon, Farrah Fawcett was still angelic.....

She really is with the angels now. As Red Skelton would say (and maybe Charlie Townsend as well):

"Good night, and may God bless....."

BCnU....

THE HAT SQUAD: ED-TV [PART TWO]

Here are some video tributes to Ed McMahon, mostly showcasing his talents as a pitchman....

First up, a classic from 'The Tonight Show' when they did live commercials, this time for Alpo:



And here was Ed's "bread and Budder" when it came to commercials: Budweiser.........









Ed did a couple of Budweiser commercials with Frank Sinatra:





Even with the Clydesdales, Ed McMahon ended up as the straight man:



Okay... this one is bawdy, not Budweiser. I'm guessing by this point in the day, Johnny Carson was getting a little tired of filming promotional spots. If you're easily offended, just don't click on it!



From the 'Dean Martin Roast' of Ed McMahon, Pat Buttram and Ed's "psychiatrist" give him a couple of shots.



Finally, here's a handful of Ed McMahon tributes I found at YouTube:









BCnU.....

A VALIANT EFFORT

In the second episode of 'Merlin', the villain was a knight named "Valiant". Could it be that he was supposed to be a tele-version of the classic comic strip character Prince Valiant?

Prince Valiant does have a strong presence in the Tooniverse, as well as in the universe for movies (where he was played by Robert Wagner).
Save for the name, nothing about Will Mellor would suggest the Hal Foster character. But then again, nothing about this series is anything like the established views of Merlin and the man who would be king, Arthur.
And it is at least once removed from the main Toobworld, Earth Prime-Time, because of that deviation from the legend's norm.

So in the end, it doesn't matter. And therefore, why am I even bothering you with this?

BCnU!

ON THIN ICE WITH THIS THEORY....

'Primeval' may be canceled, but supposedly there are still plans underway to develop the story about "anomalies" which open gateways into the past - and lets all sorts of horrible little beasties out to play in the present - for a movie. And there's even been talk of a tele-version of the story for American broadcast.

And why not? After all, everything is already set in place as far as Toobworld is concerned. In fact, the anomalies are cropping up all across America even before the show is made, let alone televised!

And the Denver Museum is capitalizing on that fact by using this obviously pirated camera phone footage to drum up business........



At least that's going to be the Toobworld position on this blipvert's place in the Great Link.....

BCnU!

THE HAT SQUAD/AS SEEN ON TV: DR. JERRI NIELSEN

From the New York Times online:
BOSTON (AP) -- Dr. Jerri Nielsen FitzGerald, who diagnosed and treated her own breast cancer before a dramatic rescue from the South Pole, has died. She was 57.

Her husband, Thomas FitzGerald, said she died Tuesday at their home in Southwick, Mass. Her cancer had been in remission until it returned in August 2005, he said Wednesday.

She was the only doctor among 41 staff at the National Science Foundation's Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station in winter 1999 when she discovered a lump in her breast. At first, she didn't tell anyone, but the burden became too much to bear.

''I got really sick,'' she told The Associated Press in a 2003 interview. ''I had great big lymph nodes under my arm. I thought I would die.''

Rescue was out of the question. Because of the extreme weather conditions, the station is closed to the outside world for the winter. She had no choice but to treat the disease herself, with help from colleagues she trained to care for her and U.S.-based doctors she stayed in touch with via satellite e-mail.

She performed a biopsy on herself with the help of staff.

A machinist helped her with her IV and test slides, and a welder helped with chemotherapy.
She treated herself with anti-cancer drugs delivered during a gripping mid-July airdrop by a U.S. Air Force plane in blackout, freezing conditions.

In a headline grabbing rescue, she was lifted by the Air National Guard in October, one of the earliest flights ever into the station when it became warm enough -- 58 degrees below zero -- to make the risky flight.

After multiple surgeries in the U.S., including a mastectomy, the cancer went into remission until 2005.
DR. JERRI NIELSEN
AS SEEN IN:
"Ice Bound"

AS PLAYED BY:
Susan Sarandon

BCnU.....

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

THE HAT SQUAD: ED-TV

Yes, there was 'Star Search', and that show about TV bloopers, the endless commercials for which he was the consummate pitchman, and of course, his years as Johnny Carson's sidekick on 'The Tonight Show'. But as a League of Themselves member, Ed McMahon did exemplary service for Toobworld with his connections to two dozen different TV shows. McMahon died just after midnight on Tuesday at the age of 86, after a series of health problems including a broken neck in 2007. And he had financial difficulties in his last years that cast a dark cloud over the public's memories of him.

But for Toobworld, we just want to remember the larger than life personality and good humor of Ed McMahon which could not be contained even by his hearty frame.

Here are those shows which can be considered linked together in Toobworld because of the participation of Ed McMahon:

"Scrubs"

- My Roommates (2005)

"Las Vegas"
- Degas Away with It (2004)
"ALF's Hit Talk Show"
- Drew Carey/Dennis Franz (2004)

"It's All Relative"
- Our Sauce, It Is a Beauty (2004)

"That '80s Show"
- Road Trip (2002)

"Popular"
- The Brain Game (2001)

"Just Shoot Me!"
- Finch on Ice (2000)

"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch"
- Prelude to a Kiss (1999)

"Suddenly Susan"
- Ben Rubenstein, Meet Joe Black (1999)

Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time' (1998) (TV)

"Muppets Tonight"
- Episode #2.5 (1997)

"Malcolm & Eddie"
- The Commercial (1997)

'Weird Al' Yankovic: (There's No) Going Home (1996)

"Roseanne"
- Halloween - The Final Chapter (1995)

"Living Single"
- Crappy Birthday (1993)

"The Larry Sanders Show"
- Hank's Wedding (1993)

"Who's the Boss?"
- A Well-Kept Housekeeper (1991)
"Full House"
- Star Search (1989)

"The Cosby Show"
- Can I Say Something, Please? (1989)

"ALF"
- Tonight, Tonight: Part 1 (1988)
- Tonight, Tonight: Part 2 (1988)

"Amazing Stories"
- Remote Control Man (1985)

"CHiPs"
- Roller Disco: Part 1 (1979)
- Roller Disco: Part 2 (1979)

"Here's Lucy"
- Lucy and Johnny Carson (1969)

Ed McMahon provided a series of fictional characters to the Toobworld registry as well. The one I remember best is Lamont Franklin in "The Adventure Of The Eccentric Engineer". (Not that he was around long in that episode of 'The Adventures Of Ellery Queen' - Franklin was the murder victim.) Probably his longest-running fictional character would have been Charlie Dickerson, a TV personality in St. Paul, as seen on Tom Arnold's series, 'The Tom Show'.

He even gave voice to characters in the Tooniverse, from 'The Angry Beavers' to 'Bruno The Kid', and even to a cartoon version of hmself in 'Duck Dodgers'.

THE TOONIVERSE
"Duck Dodgers"
- Queen Is Wild, The/Back to the Academy (2003)

"Family Guy"
- When You Wish Upon a Weinstein (2003)

"The Simpsons"
- Treehouse of Horror IX (1998)

"Pinky and the Brain"
- The Pinky and the Brain Reunion Special (1998)

Ed was an old hand at being a pitchman, from the old school. And he had quite a line of products that benefitted from his endorsements. His appearance in most of these* should also be counted in his League of Themselves tally.
TV commercials:
Cheer laundry detergent

DirectTV (1998)

Conseco Direct Life (w/Alex Trebek) (1999)

Miller Automotive car dealer (Los Angeles area)

Mr. Mobility (2006)

Premier Bathrooms (2005)

American Family Publishers

Cash4Gold.com, 2009

Longtime commercial spokesman for Anheuser-Busch, makers of Budweiser, Michelob and other brands of beer.
*I'd exclude any blipvert in which he played some other character - like the Budweiser commercial with Frank Sinatra in which they were both members of the US Cavalry.

I'm thinking 2010 will be the Year of the League of Themselves for the TV Crossover Hall Of Fame. And for January, traditionally the month in which we celebrate Classic TV, who could be a better candidate than Ed McMahon?

I am correct, Sir!

Heyoooooo and Godspeed....

BCnU.....

THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY: BAIN'S BAIRN

I won't argue if anybody says that I think about Toobworld topics way too much. Here's one that actually came to me in a dream and woke me up.....
Barbara Bain was born in 1931, and her character of Cinnamon Carter on 'Mission Impossible' would have been the same age. 'Space: 1999' was set in "the future", and the birth date for her character of Dr. Helena Russell was established on the series as being 1957, which made her 42 at the time of the lunar explosion at the nuclear dump. Had Dr. Helena Russell been the same age as Ms. Bain, she would have been 44 in 1999 (like me).

Here's the Toobworld Central hypothesis - in 1957, Cold War femme fatale Cinnamon Carter gave birth to a daughter out of wedlock. The baby was named Helena, but we don't know what family name she was given. It may be that Cinnamon gave the child up for adoption because her life as a spy made it impossible for her to be a mother as well. But I think Helena was raised by her birth father, a prominent physician.

Helena's last name of Russell was her married name - she had been married to Lee Russell, an astronaut who was missing and presumed dead on the Astro 7 mission to Jupiter.

As to the identity of Helena's father, the lover of Cinnamon Carter? In the script for the episode "Bringers Of Wonder [Part One]", we learned that Helena's father died of a massive coronary while she was a first year intern. As she remembered it, she "was there in the house when happened. I haven't lost many patients, but the first one had to be my father."

(I suppose the temptation would have been to suggest that Cinnamon's IMF partner Rollin Hand could have been the father. But Rollin didn't join the team until shortly before we met him on 'Mission Impossible' in 1966, and before that he wasn't even known as Rollin Hand. Two years before, in April of 1964, he defected to the United States to offer his services to the government. His name was Major Ivan Kochenko and the story of his defection can be found in the 'Twilight Zone' episode "The Jeopardy Room". At least, that's the premise Toobworld Central supports.) My only regret is that Cinnamon Carter's return to the small screen on 'Diagnosis Murder' took place in 1997. She seemed somewhat frail and careworn in the episode "Discards"; and had it taken place in 1999 we might have suggested that her condition was due to the death of her daughter Helena in the lunar explosion.

(In case you didn't know, the lunar explosion of the nuclear waste dumps which kicks off the series 'Space: 1999' was the only thing that actually happened on that show. Everything else - the Moon breaking free of its orbit and the adventures of Moonbase Alpha while hurtling thorugh space - was part of the coma dream playing out in the mind of Commander Koenig, who barely survived the blast. Sadly, Dr. Russell was not one of those who survived.

Incidentally, her character has been described as dour and humourless in the first season of 'Space: 1999', but she became more playful in the second season. I think the change can be ascribed to the type of medications given to Koenig while he was comatose; it altered the landscape of his dream world.)

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: IT'S FRANKIEEEEEE!

I'm never surprised by the many things I can find through the Internet; I'm more shocked by those things I CAN'T find!

After writing up the story of how Mia Farrow allegedly threw herself at "Mini-Gene" (at least according to the lead singer in the band Mini-KISS), I went looking for pics of either Patsy Kensit as the actress in "Love & Betrayal" (about the scandal of her relationship with Woody Allen), or Nina Siemaszko, who played the role in the TV bio-pic "Sinatra".

It was impossible. (Although there may be somebody out there who can prove me wrong.)

So instead, today's "As Seen On TV" showcase is of Mia Farrow's first husband, Ol' Blue Eyes himself.....

FRANK SINATRA

AS SEEN IN:
"Sinatra"

AS PLAYED BY:
Philip Casnoff

BCnU!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

FRANK STALLONE AGAIN, NATURALLY

Thanks to Frank Stallone poking fun at his own image on 'Z Rock' (which was reminiscent of how celebs play themselves in the series 'Extras'), Toobworld Central can now link 'Z Rock' to 'Movie Stars'.

In 'Movie Stars', Todd Hardin was stuck in the shadows of his brother Reese's celebrity, and he found a chance to vent about it at his weekly poker game. The other players at the table were Don Swayze, Joey Travolta, and Frank - all of whom knew what it was like to have a more famous brother.... BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: H.G. WELLS, TIMES TWO

Something a little bit different for Two For Tuesday in the "As Seen On TV" department: two portrayals of H. G. Wells, but from the same series....
H.G. WELLS
AS SEEN IN:
'Lois & Clark'

AS PLAYED BY:
Terry Kiser
Hamilton Camp

Since these were appearances in which time travel was involved, and it was a science fiction series, this recastaway is easy to splain away.

When Hamilton Camp began appearing as Wells, Lois Lane and Clark Kent were meeting the H.G. Wells of another TV dimension who had travelled forward not only in Time but in the "relative dimensions" of Space as well.

BCnU!

MAMA MIA!

In this week's episode of 'Z Rock', the boys opened for Mini-KISS. Afterwards at the backstage party, Mini Gene (far left) told Paulie about his encounter with Mia Farrow, who really wanted to have her way with him. He turned it down and a day had not gone by when he didn't regret it.

Now THAT is guilt by association for a League of Themselves member!

BCnU!

Monday, June 22, 2009

"HOUSE" CALLED OUT

In a comment to my post "Royal Splains", in which I theorized how 'McGyver' could be so well-known that TV characters who share his world could still make references to him, my blog buddy Mercurie mentioned that the same thing could apply to Dr. Gregory 'House'.

And Merc's right. Even with all of the false starts, House is still the most amazing of diagnosticians currently in practice in Toobworld. But I think his fame at that hospital in Princeton is augmented by another factor: I think there has been a "reality show" about him on Toobworld television.

This would help splain away those references to 'House' as a TV show. And as to why we don't see the cameras following him and his staff around, the Toobworld series ended before the real world series began.

Here are a few examples collected from the IMDb.com:

"Arrested Development: Motherboy XXX (#2.13)" (2005)

- Tobias appears with a "DR HOUSE" license plate, a reference to an acting job he'd hoped for but never got.

I've got a good reason why Tobias never got that part - because it was a reality TV show. Let's face it, Tobias was a bit of a dim bulb on that show. He might not have been able to tell the difference.

"Joey: Joey and the Big Break: Part 1 (#2.1)" (2005)

- "Oh, when the dude on Dr. House does it, it's fine."

Speaking of dim bulbs.....

"Scrubs: My New Suit (#5.18)" (2006)
- Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox: You're so edgy and cantankerous. You're like House without the limp.

"Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service: Driven (#4.11)" (2006)
- when Jeanne says, "Cytology tests take seventy-two hours. But Doctor House gets the results back in ten minutes. It's ridiculous."

It's called "editing". Another TV character who doesn't realize the "televersion" show about Dr. House is something of a documentary series....

"Torchwood: End of Days (#1.13)" (2007)
- Owen says "Well done, House, that's what you're up against." after discovering the people were infected with the "Black Death"

"Psych: Game, Set... Muuurder? (#1.13)" (2007)
- Shawn: I want a hard target search for every outhouse, hen house, cat house, Waffle House, House, M.D.!"

Los Serrano: La mano amiga (#6.23)" (2007)
- The show is mentioned during this episode.

I have no clue what the reference was on that show. Even if I heard it, I would never understand it....

Le está viendo!

SPECIAL OLYMPICS

With "The Glory That Was", an episode of 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', we learned that Caroline Walters (the murder victim) had won the Olympic equestrian bronze medal in 1992, and the gold in 1996. Mrs. Walters rode for Belgium in both of those years.

It was easy enough to look up the Olympic medal winners for both 1992 and 1996 to see who did win the medals in those years. And just to reassure you, I'm not so deluded about the reality of Toobworld - yet - to think that I would actually find a Caroline listed there. (Walters was her married name.) But I was curious to see how closely the facts of this case had been ripped from the headlines; I thought it might be possible that Belgium might have placed among the winners in both years. A situation like this, in which real world history deviates from what is established in the fictional world of TV Land, is easier to accept once enough time has passed. It's a lot easier to now squeeze in Jeremy Thorpe as the British Prime Minister back in 1974 than it had been when the 'Doctor Who' episode "The Green Death" first aired.

(Maybe I'm showing my provincialism in that, being an American - I can accept alterations to the tele-British leadership, but I'm dead set against any tampering with the line of succession when it comes to the American presidency in Toobworld.)


It's easy enough to ignore the existence of Robert "Pruneface" Morgenthau as the District Attorney in New York City on 'Law & Order'; it's not like he's exactly the kind of person to be seen or even referenced in other TV shows. It gets harder with the Empire State's governorship on the same show when you go from the Spitzer scandal to David Paterson, a legally blind black man who was thrust into the job. Both of them have been mentioned in the dialogue of other shows. Perhaps the passage of Time will allow us to find a way to squeeze the fictional Donald Shalvoy into the office.....
At any rate, the records for the Olympics now stand as an example of the difference between the TV Universe and the "Trueniverse"....

BCnU!

TELE-GENETICS: DONALD & CHRISTOPHER

Donald Westphall was a doctor at St. Eligius Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, whose roots were in New Hampshire. He moved there after leaving the hospital dubbed 'St. Elsehwere' and probably retired there after leaving again in the late 1980s.

Christopher Foyle was a police detective in Hastings, England during World War II who retired on the same day that Winston Churchill announced that the war was over.

Decades and distance separated the two men. But I think if you went far enough back in the Toobworld timeline and in the genealogy of both DSI Foyle and Dr. Westphall, you'd find the men had a common ancestor. In Toobworld, tele-genetic echoes are quite strong; people with similar features are found all the time, even if no apparent familial link can be established. I'm not saying they're cousins, identical cousins, but you have to admit there is a similarity between them.

I'm one of those students of the TV Universe who believes that the finale of 'St. Elsewhere' could be interpreted differently. It's my belief that the entire run of the series actually did happen in Toobworld, and that the final "snow-globe" scene was young Tommy Westphall's fantasy as he stared out the window at the falling snow.

Therefore, there would be no Zonk in imagining that both Donald Westphall and Christopher Foyle were distantly related; both series could co-exist with each other easily in the Great Link that is Toobworld.

BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: JOSEPH WELCH

I'm on a bit of an Ed Flanders kick today.....


JOSEPH WELCH
AS SEEN IN:
"Citizen Cohn"

AS PLAYED BY:
Ed Flanders

Joseph Nye Welch (October 22, 1890 – October 6, 1960) was the head attorney for the United States Army while it was under investigation by Joseph McCarthy's Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations for Communist activities. This investigation (known as the Army-McCarthy Hearings) was under way when television was first becoming a common household product in the United States. It was the first time many people got a first-hand view of McCarthy.


On June 9, 1954, the 30th day of the hearings, McCarthy accused Fred Fisher, one of the junior attorneys at Welch's firm, of association (while in law school) with the National Lawyers Guild (NLG), a group which J. Edgar Hoover sought to have the U.S. Attorney General designate as a Communist front organization (see Army-McCarthy hearings). Welch wrote off Fisher's association with the NLG as a youthful indiscretion and went after McCarthy for dragging the young man's name before a nationwide television audience with no prior warning or previous agreement to do so:


"Until this moment, Senator, I think I have never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness. Fred Fisher is a young man who went to the Harvard Law School and came into my firm and is starting what looks to be a brilliant career with us.... Little did I dream you could be so reckless and so cruel as to do an injury to that lad. It is true that he will continue to be with Hale and Dorr*. It is, I regret to say, equally true that I fear he shall always bear a scar needlessly inflicted by you. If it were in my power to forgive you for your reckless cruelty I would do so. I like to think that I am a gentle man, but your forgiveness will have to come from someone other than me."

When McCarthy tried to go on the attack once more, Welch stepped in again and famously rebuked:

"Senator, may we not drop this? We know he belonged to the Lawyers Guild.... Let us not assassinate this lad further, Senator. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"


McCarthy tried to ask Welch another question about Fisher, and Welch cut him off:


"Mr. McCarthy, I will not discuss this with you further. You have sat within six feet of me and could have asked about Fred Fisher. You have brought it out. If there is a God in Heaven it will do neither you nor your cause any good. I will not discuss it further. I wll not ask Mr. Cohn any more questions. You, Mr. Chairman, may, if you will, call the next witness."

[from Wikipedia] I got to play Mr. Welch in high school, in a staged reading of "Point Of Order", and I've always thrilled to hear that line: "Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"


(In that last picture, James Woods is also pictured as Roy Cohn....)

BCnU

Sunday, June 21, 2009

FACEBOOK 'EM, DANNO

When you've got nothing better to do than laze about on a rainy weekend afternoon, making snide comments on your friends' Facebook comments is a great time-waster......

Yasmin: WOW I Did it...............
Make sure you wipe away all of your fingerprints - and stop confessing!

Tavie: I have drunk more alcohol lately (like 6 drinks a week) than in any other period of my life (lifetime avg 2 drinks a month.) (Not a big drinker.) I blame this entirely on work.
I usually blame it on alcohol being within reaching distance.....

Michael: is feeling the wrath of having no cat food.
I warned Mark he would get hooked on the stuff......

Keith: I totally wimped out and let Jenny go out in the rain by herself to the farmer's market at Lake Anne to buy the week's veggies.
Good for you! Ralph Kramden would have been so proud of you......

Micki: Enjoying a Turkish coffee (yummmm) and getting ready to go work on some pottery martini glasses that I'm handbuilding...
Are you getting your plants drunk again? I hope you're not going to then take them across state lines to some cheap motel....

Lydia: Yep ... I'm definitely a year older this morning ...
Then that means you partied correctly!

Kelly: 6 massages in one day = tired Kelly.
I take it you didn't GET 6 massages in one day. LOL

Megan: got to feed her nephew. sigh... babies are lovely

Fed your nephew to what?

Of course, my friends also know how to respond in kind....

Toby: My sister freaked to see my answers. She must think I'm some kind of drunk, homicidal cross-dresser....
Kristopher: She's way out of line. I mean, I've never seen you drink.

BCnU!

NEW PEEK AT "TWIN PEAKS"?

From Broadcasting & Cable's website:

"Kyle MacLachlan is interested in bringing back 'Twin Peaks' as five-minute webisodes. These would, as has been reported, not involve original co-creator/brilliant-though-certified wackadoo David Lynch, who is busy meditating and creating music. But the other brilliant mind behind it, Mark Frost, has to be out there somewhere. MacLachlan knows it’s a “crazy idea” but he wants to do it."


Maybe we could finally get an answer to the question: "How's Annie?"

UnCB......

FIRED UP

According to 'Late Show with David Letterman', these are the "Top Ten Things Overheard at last week's ‘Fire David Letterman’ Rally":

10. “David who?”

9. “Well, it was nice of CBS to provide the catering.”

8. “We should have done this years ago.”

7. “What idiot turned Broadway into a pedestrian mall?”

6. “Isn’t there always a crowd demanding Letterman be fired?”

5. “March around the potholes, people.”

4. “Can we also get CBS to bring back ‘Gunsmoke’?”

3. “When does Cheney get here with the waterboarding gear?”

2. “He should apologize for that hairpiece.”

1. “Thanks for coming, Regis.”

Say... isn't that Jerry Springer at the rally?


BCnU!

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

My blog buddy Ivan, who sails the good ship "Thrilling Days Of Yesteryear"* (link to the left, me hearties!), posted about the The Western Writers of America Association and their lists of the all-time 50 Best TV Western series and the 50 Best TV Western movies & mini-series.

Here are the lists of their choices, and in their order:

Continuing Series
1. Gunsmoke (1955-75)
2. Maverick (1957-62)
3. Rawhide (1959-66)
4. Bonanza (1959-73)
5. Have Gun, Will Travel (1957-63)
6. The Rifleman (1958-63)
7. Wagon Train (1957-65)
8. High Chaparral (1967-71)
9. Death Valley Days (1952-70)
10. The Virginian (1962-70)
11. Deadwood (2004-06)
12. The Westerner (1960)
13. Cheyenne (1955-63)
14. The Big Valley (1965-69)
15. Wanted: Dead or Alive (1958-61)
16. The Lone Ranger (1949-57)
17. The Roy Rogers Show (1951-57)
18. Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp (1955-61)
19. The Wild, Wild West (1965-70)
20. The Rebel (1959-61)
21. The Little House On The Prairie (1974-83)
22. The Young Riders (1989-92)
23. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (1993-98)
24. Lawman (1957-62)
25. Laredo (1965-67)
26. Cimarron Strip (1967-68)
27. Daniel Boone (1964-70)
28. Branded (1965-66)
29. Zorro (1957-59)
30. The Yellow Rose (1983-84)
31. Tales of Wells Fargo (1957-62)
32. The Lazarus Man (1996)
33. The Gene Autry Show (1950-56)
34. Alias Smith and Jones (1971-73)
35. Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (1993-94)
36. Trackdown (1957-59)
37. Kung Fu (1972-75)
38. Lonesome Dove, the Series (1994-95)
39. The Magnificent Seven (1998-2000)
40. Broken Arrow (1956-60)
41. F Troop (1965-67)
42. Sugarfoot (1957-61)
43. Guns of Will Sonnett (1967-69)
44. Wild Bill Hickok (1951-58)
45. Tales of the Texas Rangers (1955-57)
46. Stoney Burke (1962-63)
47. Sgt. Preston of the Yukon (1955-58)
48. Restless Gun (1957-59)
49. Laramie (1955-63)
50. Hec Ramsey (1972-74)

'Maverick' is in my top five of all-time favorite shows, any genre. And I've always had a soft spot for 'The Adventures Of Brisco County, Jr.', 'Alias Smith And Jones', 'Heck Ramsey', 'The Guns Of Will Sonnett', and of course, 'The Wild, Wild West'. (After all, that show provided me with my all-time favorite TV character, Dr. Miguelito Loveless!)

Movie/miniseries
1. Lonesome Dove (1989)
2. Centennial (1978)
3. The Sacketts (1979)
4. Conagher (1991)
5. Monte Walsh (2003)
6. Davy Crockett (1954-55)
7. Last Stand at Saber River (1997)
8. Broken Trail (2006)
9. Riders of the Purple Sage (1996)
10.Into the West (2005)
11. You Know My Name (1999)
12. Skinwalkers (2002)
13. I Will Fight No More Forever (1975)
14. The Shadow Riders (1982)
15. The Good Ol' Boys (1979)
16. Son of the Morning Star (1991)
17. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (2007)
18. Crossfire Trail (2001)
19. The Macahans, How the West Was Won (1976-77)
20. Rough Riders (1997)
21. Streets of Laredo (1995)
22. Return to Lonesome Dove (1993)
23. Geronimo (1993)
24. Purgatory (1999)
25. The Quick and the Dead (1987)
26. A Thief of Time (2004)
27. Coyote Waits (2002)
28. The Johnson County War (2002)
29. Buffalo Girls (1995)
30. Mr. Horn (1979)
31. Kenny Rogers as the Gambler (1980)
32. Last of the Mohicans (1977)
33. The Alamo: Thirteen Days to Glory (1987)
34. Comanche Moon (2008)
35. Gunsmoke: Return to Dodge (1987)
36. And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself (2003)
37. The Avenging Angel (1995)
38. Crazy Horse (1996)
39. The Court-Martial of George Armstrong Custer (1977)
40. Desperado (1987)
41. The Jack Bull (1999)
42. The Desperate Trail (1995)
43. Gunsmoke: The Long Ride (1993)
44. The Texas Rangers (1981)
45. The Virginian (2000)
46. Wild Times (1980)
47. The Blue Hotel (1977)
48. Buffalo Soldiers (1997)
49. Gunsmoke: To the Last Man (1992)
50. Life on the Mississippi (1980)

Aside from stating that my favorite here is "Centennial", the only comment I could make on this second list is that - as a Caretaker for Toobworld - I just wish the fourth "Gambler" movie, "The Luck Of The Draw", could have made the cut.....

But I'm just recounting the lists. You should read
Ivan's impressions about the series, because he also reminds us of those shows that didn't make the cut. (Like my holy grail, 'Nichols'.)

And click through to read the full story about
the WWA and their annual convention's lists.

BCnU!

*I probably should have gone with a more Western analogy, considering.....

PROP SCHOOL

Through the use of props, all of them to be found in the beachfront mansion belonging to Tucker Bryant's family, 'Royal Pains' made some connections to other TV series and TV movies. Sure, they may be pretty tenuous, but they work, Mate!

First up, from the pilot episode:

TWO HONUS WAGNER BASEBALL CARDS
Recently, a Honus Wagner card sold for over 1.6 million dollars. That wasn't even the record price - in 2007, another card was sold for 2.5 million dollars. The inference would be that - at least in Toobworld - Tucker's father, Marshall Bryant, was the bidder behind both purchases.

Matthew Modine played Honus Wagner in a TV movie "The Winning Season", which was a fantasy time travel story. And it was a magical Honus Wagner card that caused the time travel.

TWO GUITARS SIGNED BY JOHN LENNON
John Lennon has been portrayed several times in TV movies, including:
"Two Of Us"
"John And Yoko: A Love Story"
"In His Life: The John Lennon Story"
"The Linda McCartney Story"
and in the TV series, 'Dark Skies'.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S CLOTHES WORN FOR THE "BORN TO RUN" COVER
We know Bruce Sprinsteen exists in Toobworld - Bob and Carol Chase of Nutley, NJ, went to one of his concerts in the pilot episode of 'Quintuplets'. And in the Aussie soap 'Neighbours', Karl named his rooster after the singer. Even the demi-god 'Cupid' quoted him! BRUUUUUUUUCE!

Baby, we were born to BCnU!

AS SEEN ON TV: JOSHUA (& NOAH)

Time for a little Sunday schoolin'....

Skeptics think that a lot of the people depicted in the Bible are just characters. But that's not the case in Toobworld - so long as they are portrayed on TV, then they actually did exist.

In a recent essay I wrote about the origins of the Earth, I showed the picture of Noah from the mini-series about the Great Flood, "Noah's Ark". Noah was played by Jon Voight (and as Noah, he collected living things like his daughter Angelina Jolie does.)

Another person from the Old Testament is Joshua, who also had a presence on Earth Prime-Time:
AS SEEN ON:
'The Time Tunnel' ("The Walls Of Jericho")

AS PLAYED BY:
Rhodes Reason

Here's the description of Tony and Doug's encounter with Joshua.

The travelers arrive outside of the tent of Joshua during the night, two days before the end of the Israelite siege of Jericho. Joshua comes to believe they are who they say they are–time travellers–and sends them to spy inside the city. Doug and Tony save a young virgin from being sacrificed to the Levantine deity Chemosh by the high priest of Jericho.

Doug is captured and sent to the dungeon to be tortured as an Israelite spy. Tony escapes into a house with an unlocked door. When the resident arrives, he calls her (Rahab) because, from the Biblical account, she is the one who sheltered the two Israelite spies. (Rahab is the sister of the almost-sacrificed virgin.)

After Tony rescues Doug from the dungeon, they take refuge on the roof of Rahab's house, but are betrayed by her servant lady, who desires the reward of 1,000 talents of silver. Doug escapes to tell Joshua the information that he seeks.

Tony and Rahab are about to be stoned to death, but when the Israelites complete their march, blow their trumpets and shout, the walls of the city fall down as what appears to be a tornado traces the destruction. Ann, a skeptic, decides that since a tornado is a natural phenomenon, that the fall of the walls was not a supernatural event, while Ray is convinced it was supernatural (perhaps because tornadoes are not known to strike in the Holy Lands).

The travellers are transported to a new era after telling Rahab she'll be safe.
[from Wikipedia]

BCnU!