Sunday, March 1, 2009


I don't know how many of you know this, but Dr. Miguelito Quixote Loveless is my all-time favorite TV character. Whenever pozz'ble (as Mushrat would say), I try to insert Loveless into my theories about a wide variety of TV shows, spanning thousands of years along the Toobworld timeline.

This goes back to the arrival of the Sahndarans on Earth around 400 BC. It is the Toobworld contention that a Sahndaran dwarf named Alexander must have sired a child with a woman in the area of Greece before leaving Earth with the rest of his people. (Because of the scientific advancements at his disposal, she probably saw him as some kind of deformed demi-god, like Vulcan, Pan, or Triton.) And the personal timeline of Dr. Loveless reaches at least to 1974, when - known only by the alias of "Clown" - he tried to take over the submarine Seaview.

It's my belief that the dormant genes inherited from his Sahndaran forebear were triggered by an influx of alien blood from another extraterrestrial. The Toobworld theory is that the biological father of Miguelito Loveless is a Gallifreyan Time Lord who was using the name of "Ramon Castillo" back in the early 1800s. But we know him better in the latter part of the 20th Century as "Mr. Roarke".

So the combination of those DNA strands with those untold generations of human DNA created a physical replica of Alexander who now had the regenerative powers of the Time Lords - but without the ability to gain a whole new body and personality quirks. After Dr. Loveless appeared to die at the end of most of his nine appearances on 'The Wild Wild West', he always came back to life looking exactly as he did before he died.
And so that's why we saw him again in the 1960's and 1970's, operating under different aliases - as "Mr. Sin", "Mr. Big", "The Clown", and perhaps several others. (During the 1940's, he was suffering from amnesia and thought himself to be a private investigator named Arthur Boyle. For that short time, he was working on the side of justice.)

For most of those times when he clashed with Secret Service agent Jim West, Dr. Loveless was accompanied by a beautiful young singer named Antoinette. She seems to have been totally devoted to him; perhaps drawn to his genius, but able to see beyond his inherent evil and still love him. I often wondered if they ever consummated that love they shared - something the constraints of the times would never have allowed to be shown or even acknowledged during the run of the series.

But let's suppose they did have a romantic relationship, where might it have led.......?

We never saw Antoinette again after the episode "The Night Of The Green Terror", but Dr. Loveless continued on for at least three more episodes. Could it be that Antoinette became pregnant with Loveless' child and settled down to raise that infant, while her paramour continued with his plans for world domination?

Those familiar with the 'Wild, Wild West' mythos might think they know where I'm heading with this - the first reunion movie from the early 1980's, when we met a man who claimed to be Miguelito Loveless, Jr.

Well, I'm not.

I'm still torn as to whether or not Miguelito Junior was indeed the son of Dr. Loveless. He may have been, but probably not by Antoinette. I'm thinking that if he was truly the son of Loveless, he was born during that time earlier in Loveless' life when he went by the alias of "George Marshall". Loveless had fallen in love and married, joining a circus to provide for his wife. But when she died in childbirth, he tried to get a job as a bank teller in Carson City, Nevada.

Despite a few obstacles, "George" eventually got that job in the bank. But something must have gone wrong; something must have triggered his need to resume his life as Miguelito Loveless and seek his fortunes by turning to the Dark Side. What if that daughter grew up as some kind of freak of nature (as she would have been branded in those times)? Due to her wildly messed up genetic mix 'n' match of human and alien
DNA, perhaps she outwardly was born female, but eventually morphed into some kind of hermaphrodite - with female body parts, but sounding like, acting like, dressing like and even looking like a man (what with that goatee).

I wonder what Paul Williams would think if he found out that might have been the type of character he was playing?

And when his daughter/son mistakenly believed that Pere Loveless had died in 1880, his child took on the mantle of "Dr. Miguelito Loveless, Jr." in order to seek revenge on Agents Jim West and Artemus Gordon.

This hermaphrodite theory may be the reason why Miguelito Junior was so keen on cloning him/herself: in order to weed out the errant strands of his/her DNA to perfect a new body, one way or the other.

Oh, by the way, I think Dr. Loveless might even have fathered a child with another companion, Miss Kitten Twitty; a child, boy or girl, who was raised in Europe, and whose own son would grow up to work at his grandfather's master complex known as... "The Village"........

We know that Dr. Loveless was not faithful to Antoinette. When he made an alliance with an un-named super-power (probably Russia) to carve out a little bit of territory to become his kingdom, "Miguelito the First" was planning to rule it with a comely blonde consort by his side.
Anyhoo, getting back to the pozz'ble, jus' pozz'ble, love child of Miguelito and Antoinette......
I'm thinking they must have had a boy, if only because the family name had to live on to eventually - finally! - get to my point. Generations later, the heiress to the family name would be Diane Loveless. Raised in Great Britain, she may have found out about the terrible crimes perpetrated by her great+ grandsire and was so repulsed that she decided to become a policewoman in order to bring honor back to the family name. (Not that she wasn't above a little blacksheepery: Diane was known to be quite the shark in sleeping with other detectives on the force.)

After working closely with Interpol on credit card fraud, Ms. Loveless used the contacts she made to land a top position with a major bank when she left the force.

Luckily for her, Diane Loveless didn't share the physical traits of her forebear, and instead probably took more after the matriarch of the family tree, Antoinette. I just "met" Diane Loveless in the fourth episode of the first season for 'New Tricks'. (For the first two seasons, the episodes had no titles. I hate that!)

So, like most of my Theories of Relateeveety, this one can't be proven. But hopefully it makes for a fun spot of speculation.


'The Wild, Wild West' - James West, Artemus Gordon, Dr. Loveless, Antoinette, Belladonna, and Miss Kitten Twitty

'Star Trek' - Alexander & the Sahndarans

'Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea' - Clown

'Zorro' - Ramon Castillo

'Fantasy Island' - Mr. Roarke

'Amos Burke, Secret Agent' - Mr. Sin

'Get Smart' - Mr. Big

"Goodnight, My Love" - Arthur Boyle

"The Wild, Wild West Revisited" - Miguelito Loveless, Jr.

'The Prisoner' - The Butler and The Village

'New Tricks' - Diane Loveless
Toby O'B

1 comment:

Mercurie said...

I'm not sure about Dr. Loveless fathering a child by Kitten. She would have certainly been willing, but Loveless seemed to have no desire for her on his part, his eyes only being for Antoinette. He seemed interested in only using her to his own ends, simply another tool in his hands.