Wednesday, June 4, 2008


"What if you could find brand new worlds right here on Earth,
where anything is possible?
Same planet, different dimension."
Opening Narration

From what little I understood in the TV special "João Magueijo’s Big Bang" (about the beginning of the Universe), and from what little I know about Hugh Everett's many-worlds theory (if applied to the creation of new dimensions*), I don't think any consideration was given to the concepts of Heaven and Hell as alternate dimensions. But then anything connected to God gets short shrift in the hard sciences. (Full disclosure - I'm a lapsed Catholic. I may not accept the organized religion anymore, but I still have my Faith.)

The "science" of Televisiology has to take God, Heaven and Hell into account. Too many shows touch upon the subject, and God even shows up as a character in many series.

And so does the Devil.....

In a recent episode of 'The Reaper', Sam and Bert looked through Gladys' logbook of those escaped souls who may have slipped under the radar. Among them was Al Capone (as would be expected).... and Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln, practically the patron saint of the United States, equal to George Washington as the Charlemagnes of America... apparently he was a very naughty boy.

The photo which Gladys showed them looked like the 16th President - bearded, tall and lanky. But he was dressed in a t-shirt and holding one of those I.D. slates you see in mugshots. It was like a picture from an episode of 'Cops' - directed by Ken Burns.

So that immediately got me thinking - if everything we see on TV actually takes place in the alternate dimension of Toobworld, what was it that supposedly Honest Abe had done to warrant being dispatched to Hell?
And after about five minutes, I realized that it would be too much work trying to conjure up a splainin for that. Did he survive the assassination attempt and in his new life did he veer off-course from his nobler inclinations? Maybe in the TV Universe, the scientists of the day, including Dr. Miguelito Loveless, were able to utilize steam-punk cybernetics and bring him back to life - bigger, stronger, and more bad-ass than before. ("Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.....")

(Don't worry. Despite the suggestive nature of this screen capture, Lincoln didn't bugger Mark McCain on 'The Rifleman'!)

Like Darrin's Mom on 'Bewitched', I got a sick headache trying to come up with a splainin for Evil Abe Lincoln that would keep his physical presence in the main Toobworld. So I went with a different route.

As Quinn Mallory pointed out each week in the opening narration for 'Sliders', Earth exists in thousands of different dimensions, with doppelgangers of just about everybody in each one. But why should there be a separate Heaven and Hell for each of them? God created the Universe - in Televisiology, He got the ball rolling with the Big Bang - and even though it would then splinter into a multitude of dimensions, He probably didn't need a lot of branch offices to keep them all in line.

When thinking about those mirror images of characters like Mr. Spock, Willow Rosenberg, and others who have counterparts in alternate dimensions, I don't think the concept of their immortal souls is given any thought. But when those alternate doppelgangers finally do die, they would end up sharing the afterlife with the souls of their twins. IF they all ended up in the same area, that is!
So it could be that there are many souls of Abe Lincoln out there, and some of them might have been evil, ending up in Hell after they died. This way, we can have the soul of Evil Abe Lincoln exist in Earth Prime-Time without sacrificing the reputation of the real Lincoln as reflected by his main televersion in Toobworld.

Toby OB

*That understanding of the "Many Worlds Theory" is damnably little. As I've been accused here in the past, I'm a sciolist. In fact, I barely made the effort to look up what "sciolist" means! At any rate, I'm probably totally wrong with my understanding of it anyway!

During "Joao Maqueijo's Big Bang", his theories were branded as "breathtaking stupidity". I'd be honored if my theories about the TV Universe could achieve that level of scorn. As Abigail Mitchell said in an episode of 'Columbo', "I accept all superlatives!"
"Real holographic simulated evil Lincoln is baaaaaack!"
Abraham Lincoln

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