Wednesday, September 27, 2006


"I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine."
Audrey Hepburn

Tonight on 'CSI: NY', a gang of bank robbers dress up as Audrey Hepburn's character of Holly Golightly in "Breakfast At Tiffany's".

They could be those zombie brides of the late Robert Palmer, who backed him up in the 'Simply Irresistable' music video.

They probably fell on hard times after the singer died......

Apparently there's a rising interest in all things Audrey lately. I don't know the reasoning for this in the Real World, but I'm willing to take a shot on the splainin when it comes to Toobworld.

Cosmic Confluence.

There are many Universes out there created from the gestalt spark of Mankind's creative genius. Several novels have explored the universes based on literary genres ("The Incompleat Enchanter", "The Magic Umbrella"), and there's a trilogy about the B movie universe known as The Cineverse.

Sometimes these separate universes "bleed" into each other when they overlap. This is why we consider certain movies to be part of the TV Universe - like 'Maverick', the 1966 'Batman', and the 'Star Trek' franchise.

But not all of these collisions between the universes are gentle blendings; sometimes they can be violent clashes. And when that happens, the resultant "explosion" can puncture the dimensional wall separating yet another universe and can take root there in some kind of artistic aurora borealis.

More often than not, this cosmic energy blooms in Toobworld, no matter what the two original universes were. That's because the TV Universe is like this giant maw, a black hole from which nothing can escape.

Much like the English language, TV takes influences from all sorts of inspirations and converts them and incorporates them into itself.

And it's my theory that this is what happened when it comes to the new Gap ad which features a mash-up between the late Audrey Hepburn and AC/DC.

The movie universe collided with the music universe at specific points, combining "Back In Black" by the Australian rock group and a dance sequence from "Funny Face" with Ms. Hepburn as Jo Stockton.

It's not the first time Audrey Hepburn has materialized in Toobworld due to a collision with the movie universe. According to the, a computer recreation of Audrey (possibly using old footage) was used for a Japanese drink commercial in 2002.

I know the use of her image from this 1957 movie has upset a lot of her fans, and those who believe in the sanctity of film as art. This argument has been going on since at least the time when Humphrey Bogart was lifted from "Casablanca" for a face to face with a can of Coca Cola, and Fred Astaire danced with a Dust Devil.

That's not my concern when it comes to Toobworld. I need only splain away what it's doing in the TV Universe.

But just so you know, her sons have approved the use of her image in the Gap ad because any money they made from the deal was immediately re-channeled back into her favorite charity. The actress' son Sean Ferrer, chairman of the Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund, approved the campaign as "a perfect representation of her."

"Sure, she was the little black dress," he says, "but she also was the black cigarette pant."

Ultimately, Jo Stockton returns to the smoky Parisian club to be found in "Funny Face" and "Back In Black" fades from the aether, returning to the Classic Rock archives from which it sprang. But the effect of the Hepburn aura permeated all of Toobworld, and that's why you'll see Holly Golightly clones on tonight's 'CSI: NY'.

That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.


"She put herself in your place.
All you have to do is put yourself in her place,
And you're bound to bump into each other in somebody's place
Maggie Prescott
"Funny Face"

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