BOWL FULL OF PITT

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BRAD PITT (HEINIKEN)
In a spot directed by his "Fight Club" director, the soon-to-be former Mr. Jennifer Aniston risked the perils of the paparazzi to go out for some brewskis.

The shutterbug swarm of "locusts" gave chase, but apparently they were only after the Heinies.

At least that's what we were told was happening in press releases. The commercial didn't make that clear, since it appeared that they were fanatically interested him before he set off in search of the suds. The ad's payoff should have been better defined.

The Big Question was the identity of the person Pitt phoned to pick him up. Was there going to be a reconciliation with "Rachel"? An assignation with Angelina? Or a sit-down with Soderbergh about another stupid sequel for "Ocean's Eleven"?

The company said that the commercial would only air once. Yeah, right. They said the same thing about the '1984' ad for MacIntosh, but it keeps popping up in yearly retrospectives for commercials.

But that was a visionary classic. This was a guy who hasn't had a hit film of his own for years whoring himself for possible divorce settlement money.