SITCOM BRACKETSVILLE

March Madness Time!

Thanks to my fellow "Iddiot", the turba-charged Dr. Bobt, I learned about the Sitcom Star Wars event being held by the Florida Times-Union in Jacksonville. It's a classic case of "Bracketsville", with 64 sitcom characters vying against each other to see who will emerge as Top Dawg over the next three weeks.

The competition began today and you can find out how you can participate by clicking here. (Their criteria was pretty simple: only characters from American sitcoms - Sorry, Basil. Better luck next time, Patsy! And by "sitcom", they mean shows of 30 minutes in length that were intentionally funny. No 'Desperate Housewives', 'Ally McBeal', 'Northern Exposure', or - forgive me, Jack Webb's ghost! - 'Dragnet'.)

Right now, there are four brackets, each with 8 face-offs of two characters each. I've already taken part in Round One and it appears that I'm voting with the majority so far.

The Majority. The Majority. Let's hear from the Majority.....

They've even provided a PDF of the brackets so you can print it out and play along at home.

Here are the competitors:

Bracket A
1) Choose one
1. Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show
16. Miss Piggy, The Muppet Show

2) Choose one
8. Mary Richards, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
9. Rob Petrie, The Dick Van Dyke Show

3) Choose one
5. George Jefferson, The Jeffersons
12. Roseanne Conner, Roseanne

4) Choose one
4. Ted Baxter, The Mary Tyler Moore Show
13. Dan Fielding, Night Court

5) Choose one
6. The Rev. Jim Ignatowski, Taxi
11. Dwight Schrute, The Office

6) Choose one
3. Phoebe Buffay, Friends
14. Benson DuBois, Soap/Benson

7) Choose one
7. Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable, The Cosby Show
10. Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs

8) Choose one
2. Louie DePalma, Taxi
15. Steve Urkel, Family Matters

Bracket B
1) Choose one
1. Archie Bunker, All in the Family
16. Maude Findlay, Maude

2) Choose one
8. Edith Bunker, All in the Family
9. Dr. Robert Hartley/Dick Loudon, The Bob Newhart Show/Newhart

3) Choose one
5. Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld
12. Arnold Jackson, Diff'rent Strokes

4) Choose one
4. Murphy Brown, Murphy Brown
13. Felix Unger, The Odd Couple

5) Choose one
6. Arthur Fonzarelli, Happy Days
11. Mimi Bobeck, The Drew Carey Show

6) Choose one
3. Fred Sanford, Sanford and Son
14. Flo Castleberry, Alice/Flo

7) Choose one
7. Suzanne Sugarbaker, Designing Women
10. Jack McFarland, Will & Grace

8) Choose one
2. George Costanza, Seinfeld
15. Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Bracket C
1) Choose one
1. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
16. Stewie Griffin, The Family Guy

2) Choose one
8. Alex P. Keaton, Family Ties
9. Lowell Mather, Wings

3) Choose one
5. Eric Cartman, South Park
12. Eddie Haskell, Leave it to Beaver

4) Choose one
4. Frasier Crane, Frasier
13. Niles Crane, Frasier

5) Choose one
6. Ed Norton, The Honeymooners
11. Jack Tripper, Three's Company

6) Choose one
3. Will Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
14. Gilligan, Gilligan's Island

7) Choose one
7. Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls
10. Frank Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond

8) Choose one
2. Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners
15. Fez, That '70s Show

Bracket D
1) Choose one
1. Lucy McGillicuddy Ricardo, I Love Lucy
16. Samuel "Screech" Powers, Saved by the Bell

2) Choose one
8. Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, M*A*S*H
9. Cpl. Maxwell Klinger, M*A*S*H

3) Choose one
5. Norm Peterson, Cheers
12. Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz, Hogan's Heroes

4) Choose one
4. Al Bundy, Married With Children
13. Det. Phil Fish, Barney Miller

5) Choose one
7. JJ Evans, Good Times
10. Mork, Mork & Mindy

6) Choose one
3. Jethro Bodine, The Beverly Hillbillies
14. Maxwell Smart, Get Smart

7) Choose one
7. Les Nessman, WKRP in Cincinnati
10. Bill McNeal, NewsRadio

8) Choose one
2. Cliff Claven, Cheers
15. Bernie "Mac" McCullough, The Bernie Mac Show

In case you don't know who some of those characters are (But then, what are you doing here???), the paper has provided their profiles which might help sway your vote one way or the other.

There seem to be a lot of choices that are wildly uneven, in a David vs. Goliath sort of way - but which David doesn't have a slingshot in hell of winning: Lucy vs. Screech? Fonzie vs. Mimi?

And there was one category, almost right off the bat, which broke my heart when I had to make the choice between them: Mary Richards vs. Rob Petrie. Maybe at the end of the road I could have more easily have decided between them, but in Round One? It's hard to believe one or the other will not be getting any further than that.

Sorry, Mayr. I love you, but......

At least she made it to Round One. The creators of this Sitcom Bracketsville had 300 original choices which they whittled down to the 64. (This is what the movie "300" must be about. LOL!)

Among those who didn't get this far:

Dr. Johnny Fever, WKRP in Cincinnati
Ellen Morgan, Ellen
Fred Mertz, I Love Lucy
Granny Clampett, The Beverly Hillbillies
Larry, Daryll and Daryll, Newhart
Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons
Rudy Huxtable, The Cosby Show
Karen Walker, Will & Grace
Chandler Bing, Friends
Sue Ann Nivens, Mary Tyler Moore
Miles Silverberg, Murphy Brown
Darlene Connor, Roseanne
Oscar Madison, The Odd Couple
Mr. Furley, Three's Company
Earl Hickey, My Name is Earl
Balki Bartokomous, Perfect Strangers
Jeannie, I Dream of Jeannie
Elliot Carlin, The Bob Newhart Show
Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones
Barney Rubble, The Flintstones
Red Forman, That '70s Show
Bender, Futurama
Dennis Finch, Just Shoot Me
Peter Griffin, The Family Guy
Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls
Luther Van Dam, Coach

I don't understand how characters like Darlene, Rudy, Miles, or Red could be considered, but at least I can thank the Powers That Be that Karen Walker didn't make the cut. Bleep, how I hated her!!!

I guess there was only room for one pig in the top 64, but I would have chosen Arnold Ziffel as a contender. Come to think of it, I think 'The Muppet Show' only just barely fits the criteria for a sitcom.

So visit the site and make your choices; and keep checking back to vote until the ultimate winner is announced.

Maybe there will be a Thunderdome caged death-match for the finals.

Two go in; one comes out!

BCnU!
Tele-Toby