PORTLAND'S POPULATION PRUNED

'Grimm' took one of my personal boogiemen and transferred them into wesen for the show's mythology.....

Wendigos are monsters created when a man devours human flesh. (I first learned of them in a Marvel comic book - "The Incredible Hulk", I think?) and I found the idea... disturbing, to say the least.

Side Note: The show suggested that Jeffrey Dahmer was a Wendigo.

The Wendigo in question had been prowling on the Portland area residents for at least a decade. According to the 'Grimm' version of the legend, Wendigos bury the bones of their victims near where they live (perhaps to mark their territories?)

A small grocery had been built over the property where these Wendigo brothers used to live. and when the floor was dug up, the skeletal remains of at least eight people were found. (8 - a 'Lost' number!)

It was suggested there were to be dozens more to be found elsewhere around the Portland area.

You do realize what this means for the Toobworld Dynamic, don't you? It's a way to bring closure for TV characters from cancelled TV shows that were set in Portland.

MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I hope you're not feeling sorry for them. If they meant anything to you, their shows might still be on the air!

The first to have been served up as human jerky should be the various detectives from the TV series 'Under Suspicion'. Otherwise, why haven't we seen Detectives Vitelli and Phillips cross paths with Nick and Hank on some city-wide manhunt?

When we saw the surviving Wendigo simmering a stew with a human foot as part of its stock, I'd like to think it was that of high school coach Spud Lincoln from the early 90s family dramedy 'Sons And Daughters'. It looked to be the size for someone who worked out.

From that same show the rest of the Hammersmith family should be considered polished off as a series of entrees. And for the tangy taste of ethnic and racial variety, the Brothers Kreski couldn't go wrong with the Randall family. Among the members of that family were Sam, a boy of Korean heritage, and Sally, who was black.

(The interesting thing about that show - 'Together We Stand' - is that it was pulled from the airwaves after about a month. It returned after being retooled under the title 'Nothing Is Easy'. But now the father of the family had died in a car accident. Perhaps David Randall ran off the road after seeing the Kreski brothers in their Wendigo form. Maybe they caused the accident to remove him for the picture so they could pick off the members of his family......)

Another family to be removed from the census in Portland thanks to the Wendigos would be the Hansens, as seen in 'The Boys Are Back' - especially Rick Hansen, who was an undercover cop on the Portland police force.

But the best of the bunch for finding potential victims of the Wendigos would be MacLean Stevenson's much-maligned sitcom, 'Hello, Larry'.

'Hello, Larry'? Hello, Lunch!

By the way, one show set in Portland, Oregon, which would be safe from this type of cannibalistic culling would be 'Portlandia'. It is only to be found in Skitlandia.....

BCnU!