"CHIEFLY OHARAS" - THE KLINGER CLAN

"CHIEFLY O'HARAS"
[EPISODE THREE]
"MAX"

At this point, I think we should go off on a tangent and discuss Tim O'Hara's godfather, Maxwell Q. Klinger.  (Mostly so that I have something for the monthly salute to 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'.  You'll see what I mean......)

There may be those who dispute my idea that Tim O'Hara was partially of Lebanese descent, but I prefer to look for ways to disprove that it couldn't have happened, besides the fact that both of them were born in Toledo, Ohio. (Always remember when tilting at windmills, they might be giants.)

Here's a good example:

As for Max having a sister who could have married Timothy O'Hara, Sr..... While serving in Korea with a mobile medical unit, Max Klinger mentioned his sister who married a swarthy, dark-haired olive-picker. But that doesn't mean she was his only sister.

Max Klinger had several cousins and nephews who all bore an uncanny resemblance to each other. This was mostly due to that distinctive Klinger schnozz borne by all the men in the family bearing the family name. (It was a attributed to a curse laid down by a witch.) But Tim O'Hara didn't have that prominent proboscis - first off, his last name was O'Hara, and he was only half-Lebanese.

The most famous of all these cousins was Charlie Klinger (although he could be Max's younger brother), who moved to New York City to find his fortune. He started out working the Snappy Service deli concession that serviced the offices for 'The Alan Brady Show'. Later in life, he managed one of the dry cleaning stores owned by George Jefferson. (But he would claim that he was the owner.)

But there were two others, twin cousins named Fred and Benny Klinger, who made their way to Los Angeles and each had a close encounter with their "semi-cousin" Tim O'Hara. Not having seen Tim since he was a lad not yet in high school, they wouldn't have recognized Tim had they spotted him. But having reviewed the evidence, I don't think they saw him. (Or in Benny's case, at least not until the trial.....)

Fred Klinger was an orderly working fifteen years (since 1950) at a local Los Angeles hospital.  (For the purpose of this theory, I'm going to claim it was Community General.)  When he crashed his gurney into the one carrying Tim, the reporter didn't really get a chance to see him after the impact. In case the argument could be made that in those short seconds, Tim did look up and fixate on Fred, it could be that one of the symptoms of fluosis, the  Martian ailment which he contracted, was blurring of the vision.  Otherwise, why didn't he shout out, "Hey, Uncle Max!"

(By the way, Benny and Fred Klinger were born the same year as Tim O'Hara, as was Charlie Klinger, all in Toledo.)

Later, when their paths crossed again, Tim wasn't looking up and Fred had already passed by.....

As for Benny Klinger, Tim knew about him after Exigius 12½ revealed what he learned by eavesdropping into Mr. Philbrick's office. Benny wasn't at the warehouse when the police arrived and according to Tim's news story, he wasn't arrested until later - for which Tim wasn't present. However, after the episode ran and the story continued, Tim would have finally seen him at the trial. There he would certainly have noticed the resemblance to his Uncle Max.

So those splainins should remove any Zonks about the Klinger twins meeting Tim O'Hara.

For those that don't know, Benny Klinger being a criminal wasn't a fluke for the family. Most of the Klinger men had arrest records. This could be why Timothy O'Hara Sr. decided to move to Los Angeles so that his son would not fall under the influence of Uncle Max and his other maternal relatives.

Yes, Team Toobworld, it's true. Even Max Klinger had a police record. When he returned home to Toledo after the Korean Conflict, his family shunned him for having married Soon-Lee. Without their assistance in getting re-established in the community surrounding N. Michigan Street, Max and Soon-Lee fell on hard times. Out of desperation, Max turned to petty crimes and got caught. His former commanding officer, Sherman Potter, intervened to get the charges dropped - provided he move to St. Louis and work at the VA Hospital there.

Among Max's other relatives who had criminal records:

• an Uncle (unnamed) who was a Chicago hitman for $100. (3.11) {possibly "Hasan the enforcer" the most important member of the Klinger Clan {10.17}
• an Uncle Bob who served two years for involvement in Toledo's "Payolla Scandal" (6.19).
• an Uncle "7199199", in jail for counterfeiting (9.12)
• an Uncle Harry, supposedly the best "whiplash lawyer" in Toledo who is serving a jail sentence of "15 to 25" (10.9).
• an Uncle Habib who is serving a jail sentence of "1 to 5"; he sent Klinger a Zoot Suit in (11.2).

I don't think Tonoose, the leading patriarch in the Lebanese-American community of Toledo, had a criminal record. But hey, you never know.....

MUG SHOT?

SHOWS CITED:

• 'AfterM*A*S*H'
• 'All In The Family'
• 'Diagnosis Murder'
• 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'
• 'The Jeffersons'
• 'Mad About You'
• 'M*A*S*H'
• 'Make Room For Daddy'
• 'My Favorite Martian'

Coming up next: "Hail To The Chief"

BCnU!

My thanks to the 'M*A*S*H' wiki for the background information on Max Klinger.  Everything else can be blamed on me....