TODAY'S TWD: THE MONTGOLFIER BROTHERS

December 14, 1782:
The Montgolfier brothers' first balloon lifts on its first test flight.

That must have been an unmanned balloon, because.....

Meanwhile, back in the Skitlandia dimension of Toobworld......

[Oh, where is the 'Batman' announcer when you need him? Probably dead.....]

CAPTION: 'THE GOLDEN AGE OF BALLOONING'

CAPTION: 'THE BEGINNINGS'

Cut to a suburban bathroom. A plumber with a bag of tools open beside him is doing an elaborate repair on the toilet. He is in rather an awkward position.

Plumber (working away)

The Golden Age of Ballooning can be said to begin in 1783 ... when the Montgolfier brothers made their first ascent in a fire balloon. On the eve of that ... (struggling with the work) come on... come on... momentous ascent, the brothers took one last look at their craft, as it stood on the field of Annencay.

At the window Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier are looking out at their balloon. In the background a plumber is working away at a bit of eighteenth-century French piping.

Jacques

This is a great moment for us, Joseph.

Joseph

It is a great moment for France.

Jacques

Ah, oui!

Joseph

First ascent in a hot-air balloon, by the Montgolfier brothers - 1783 ... I can see us now... just after Montesquieu and just before Mozart.

Jacques

I think I'll go and wash ...

Joseph

Good luck.

Jacques

Oh ... it's quite easy, really ... I just slap a little water on my face, then...

Joseph

No... good luck for tomorrow.

Jacques

Oh I see, yes. You too. Yours has been the work.

Joseph

Let us hope for a safe ascent... and don't use my flannel.

Jacques

You know, when you showed me the plans in Paris, I could not believe that we should be the first men who would fly.

Joseph

Yes ... it's wonderful.

Jacques

I am so excited I could hardly wash.

Joseph

Yes ... I too have had some difficulty washing these past few days.

Jacques

Still, what is washing when we are on the verge of a great scientific breakthrough?

Joseph

Jacques...

Jacques

Yes, Joseph...

Joseph

I have not been washing very thoroughly for many years now.

Jacques

What do you mean? You must have been washing your face?

Joseph

Oh yes, my face, I wash my face... but my legs... my stomach ... my chest, they're filthy.

Jacques

Well, I don't wash my stomach every day.

Joseph (with increasing self-remorse)

Ah, but you wash far more than me ... you are the cleaner of the Montgolfier brothers.

Jacques

This is nothing, Joseph...

Jacques

Well, it's getting late. I must go and have a wash.

Joseph

What will you be washing?

Jacques

Oh ... just my face and neck ... perhaps my feet... and possibly ... but no ... no ... lock up the plans, Joseph... tomorrow they will make us the toast of France. 'The first ascent by the Montgolfier brothers in a balloon'. Just after Ballcock and just before Bang... what a position!

CAPTION: 'THE END'

[edited down from the original 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' sketch in order to eliminate any inadvertant Irishmen.....]

BCnU!
Toby O'B