Monday, November 12, 2007


And now, a cautionary tale of a life gone wrong in Toobworld.....
Back in the early sixties, there was a high-priced escort working in Hollywood who catered to the eccentric desires of rich men like I.A. Bugg. We don't know what her real name was, but she told Captain Amos Burke of the LAPD that she was simply "Girl Girl".

Even though she was guilty of prostitution - Captain Burke did catch her in the act (even if it wasn't strictly sexual) with Mr. Bugg, one of his suspects in a murder case - Burke turned a blind eye to her activities because he was more concerned with catching the murderer of a sorceress named Purity Mathers.

Girl Girl probably spent a few more years in the trade, but with an eye to finding a different yet still lucrative profession. (After all, there's only a short time-frame for that lifestyle before you have to drop the prestigious clientele, as well as your price....)

It could be that one of her clients was a suave ciminal mastermind who offered his services to both THRUSH and KAOS. His name was Victor Gervais, but as a KAOS turncoat informer he was known as Kinsey Krispin. During the years after his wife ran off and left him, Krispin might have found comfort with Girl Girl. And after the toxic accident that turned his skin chalky white and his hair green, he could have sought Girl Girl out to be his "moll".
That's right - Victor Gervais, aka Kinsey Krispin, became the Clown Prince Of Crime (at least in Toobworld).

Reviewing her options, Girl Girl saw that the Joker's offer as a chance to provide not only an escape from her fate in prostitution, but also as an opportunity to gain the ultimate rush of an adventurous lifestyle. Since he was to be known as The Joker, he gave Girl Girl the nom de crime of "Queenie".

When we first met the Joker and Queenie, the Joker was in prison. (O'Bviously he had already been nabbed by the Dynamic Duo in Gotham City before the series began.) Queenie escaped capture that time, but was ready to be reunited with him once he escaped. They returned to Gotham City for revenge against Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder, intent on unmasking them on live TV.

Unfortunately for them both, the Caped Crusaders triumphed and this time both of them went to prison. And it appears that when the Joker escaped yet again, this time he severed his relationship with Queenie/Girl Girl and left her behind in jail in favor of new delights in feminine pulchritude.

Whether we ever saw Girl Girl again in Toobworld, either using her true name or an alias, or even if we ever saw her before she became Girl Girl, it would require more research into the TV roles played by Nancy Kovack.

One thing is for certain: Girl Girl did NOT live long enough to become Nona of the planet Neural. (But she may have been reincarnated as that mystical cu-# er, Kahn-ut-tu woman......)

'Burke's Law' - "Who Killed Purity Mather?"
'Batman' - "The Joker Is Wild"/"Batman Gets Riled"
'The Man From U.N.C.L.E.' - "The Never Never Affair"
'Get Smart' - "The Reluctant Redhead"
'Star Trek' - "A Private Little War"

Toby OB

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