Tuesday, May 9, 2006


I realize that last week I said that "come what may" I would be covering the "New Earth" episode of 'Doctor Who' for its role in the Crossover of the Week.

I have it all worked out. I've got the timeline details, the historical data, the works.

I still just want to see it first, and it's tough trying to make contact with the Brokeback Boys to see any of these episodes. Between that week of jury duty and the fact that they actually have lives, it's been impossilbe to reconcile our schedules.

So in the meantime, I've got a crossover that happened last Friday; one that is so off the wall, I expect to get raked over the coals for it. And this is one time when I don't need to have seen it actually occur, unlike the one for 'Doctor Who'... mainly because there's no way in Hell I'm ever going to anything done by its star, ever again!


Don't look at me like that. I know what I'm doing.

A lot of people know how I feel about the first "Mission : Impossible" movie. Without even having seen it, I considered it such a travesty that I vowed never to see another movie by Tom Cruise again. So "War Of The Worlds"? "Minority Report"? "Collateral"? Not a clue; never saw 'em.

It's not that Cruise and the others listed as producers took a favorite TV show memory and trashed it with a cinematic remake; that happens all the time. ('The Wild, Wild West', 'Sgt. Bilko', 'Leave It To Beaver', 'The Honeymooners')

No, what they did was to take a character from that show, - a hero! - and spit on his integrity by making him the bad guy.

(Oh yeah. There's a major spoiler in this article. Tough. If you put off seeing the first movie all this time, there's no help for you anyway.)

If Cruise and Co. wanted to malign the reputation of Jim Phelps, and had done so using Peter Graves in the role, then I would have said, fine. If Peter Graves signed off on the idea, who was I to argue. At least respect was being shown to both the actor and the character by doing this with the involvement of the man concerned.

Take Mel Gibson's version of 'Maverick'. (And here comes another spoiler, people!) I have no problem with the idea of Gibson coming in and playing Bret Maverick, because James Garner was involved as well playing Zane Cooper.

As it turns out, Zane Cooper is revealed to be Bret Maverick's father by the end of the movie. So actually, Zane Cooper is THE 'Bret Maverick', while Mel Gibson is portraying Bret "Maverick", Jr.

But in the movie version of "Mission : Impossible", Jim Phelps is portrayed by Jon Voigt. Jon Voigt is a great actor, but he's no Peter Graves; he's not even the right age for the role! Thus the movie can't be considered a continuation of the TV series into the Cineverse, as the 1966 'Batman' and the 'Star Trek' franchise can be.

So the storylines of the "Mission : Impossible" movies can't be considered a reciprocal part of Toobworld. But as movies, as trivia, as basically props, - something TV characters would go see in the theatres on their shows, or rent as DVDs, - they can be considered part of the TV Universe.

Only... I'm not talking about the main dimension of the TV Universe, Earth Prime-Time. I'm referring to the evil mirror dimension made famous in episodes of 'Star Trek', 'Deep Space Nine', 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' and 'Hercules: The Legendary Journey'.

In the evil mirror TV dimension ("Earth Prime-Evil"?), Jim Phelps would be a villain. And so the first "Mission : Impossible" movie would have been considered almost a docu-drama; taking an event that happened in "real life" and dramatizing it for the movies.

Much like "United 93" is in our theatres now.......

As such, each of the "M:I" sequels exist in the evil TV dimension as movies as well.

"Mission : Impossible III" (or as they're promoting it, "M:I:III") opened this past Friday in theatres. And if you follow the advice of legendary radio personality Vin Scelsa, you stay for the credits, where you'll see that the very last credit in the movie is a thank-you acknowledging the Hanso Organization.

In the Trueniverse, the movie was directed by JJ Abrams, as a tip of the hat to the TV show he produces, 'Lost'. In the series, the Hanso Organization is the mysterious and most likely insidious corporation for whom the "Others" most likely work for and who has caused so much trouble for the stranded "Lostaways" on the island.

I have no problem believing that the Hanso Organization exists in all facets of the TV Universe, even in the dimension where everybody looks like a pig-man ('The Twilight Zone' - "Eye Of The Beholder") or in the dimension where women have pronounced chin hair, beards (as seen on 'Sliders')!

So in the evil mirror dimension, director JJ Abrams probably was funded by the Hanso Organization to make the movie. Or they provided help in some other fashion; enough to warrant getting credit for it.

As for the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 in that evil mirror dimension? They were probably all dead within the week. Since everyone in that dimension is inherently prone towards being evil, the survivors probably devolved into a "Lord Of The Flies" mentality and eventually hunted down each other as food.

There can be only one!

Like I said, I know such a theory is probably going to piss off a lot of people. But I gotta admit, there's nothing I enjoy more than jumping through hoops to come up with a beddy beddy good splainin.


"I am a rock. I am an island."
"You am a boob."

No comments: