Monday, April 1, 2013


I don't watch the Animal Planet network.  They just don't have anything that would appeal to me.  I'm one of those people who love cat videos, but I can just as easily find those on YouTube or via my friends on FaceBook.

But starting next month.  Looking for a new event to spoof a la the Super Bowl with the Puppy Bowl, Animal Planet has teamed up with Paramount Pictures for 'Trek Kittens'. 

'Trek Kittens' will be nearly faithful recreations of episodes from the classic 'Star Trek' series, using the original soundtrack and dialogue, but with images of cats playing the characters like Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock.

And by faithful, I mean the cats playing the ensigns in red shirts will be quickly using up their nine lives.....

For example:

Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

And of course, the Captain Kirk cat will get all the babes........

This will all tie in to the upcoming release of the new movie, "Star Trek: Into Darkness".

The episodes will be heavily edited so that each story will only be long enough for a half hour each.  So I'm assuming that only the highlights from each episode will be depicted with the cats.

They HAVE to show Spock giving the Vulcan nerve pinch!

Each episode will be introduced by members of the cast from "Star Trek: Into Darkness" but they will not be seen as themselves or even as their characters.  Instead, their voice-overs will appear to emanate from cats who seem to bear some kind of resemblance either to them or to their characters.  (I think it will be cool to hear Benedict Cumberbatch's voice as though it was coming from a cat.......)

"Hailing frequencies are open, Captain."

But the cats for the stories recreated in the episodes will more closely resemble or suggest the original actors from the series.  From what I read, there are O'Bvious choices, like a black cat for Uhura, and a Russian Blue for Chekov.  Spock will be portrayed by a Sphinx cat, which are pretty creepy looking and definitely suggestive of aliens.  As for any episodes which have Klingons, they'll be portrayed by dogs.  (Mangy mutts!)

Commander Kor?  Or Cur?

Who knows what they could achieve for the strange aliens they might encounter?

I don't have any access to video or even publicity photos for this project yet, so I'm afraid all I can offer you are pictures I found on the internet which suggest each episode.......

Here are the thirteen episodes that are scheduled to be remade for 'Trek Kittens':

"City On The Edge Of Forever"
Edith Keeler treating Doctor McCoy

"The Trouble With Tribbles"
Uhura with a Tribble

"Space Seed"
(Shere) Khan Noonian Singh with Uhura

"The Squire Of Gothos"

Trelaine getting petulant

"Amok Time"
Stonn & T'Pring

Captain Kirk vs the Gorn

"Mudd's Women"
Harcourt Fenton Mudd

"The Doomsday Machine"
Commodore Matt Decker

"Shore Leave"

"Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"

Bele & Lokai

"Court Martial"
Samuel Cogley: 
"I've got my own system. Books, young man. Books. Thousands of 'em. 
If time wasn't so important, I'd show you something. My library. Thousands of books."

"Spectre Of The Gun"
"Welcome to the O.K. Corral!"

"Where No Man Has Gone Before"
Gary Mitchell

(That episode is listed last in the schedule, which I think is a sure sign that the new movie is based on it.  And I'll bet it'll be Cumberbatch's feline avatar who is used as the host.)

 I'm hoping that if the series is a big success, they'll bring it back the following summer with all new episodes. 

Some of those could be based on these episodes:
"Plato's Stepchildren"

(I was sorry this didn't make the cut for the first series.  I'd love to see the cat version for one of my favorite actors, Michael Dunn!  Maybe a Manx to show that he's different?)

"Journey To Babel"

(This pig-looking dog - or even a real pig! - could stand in for the Tellarite, but what would be done for the Andorians?  How about a blue bunny?)

"Is There In Truth No Beauty?"

Don't look in the box without your visors!

"Man Trap"

"Devil In The Dark"
Encounter with the silicone-based Horta

"The Corbomite Maneuver"
Balok - Illusion & Reality

and bring back the Mudd-Cat for "I, Mudd"!

Who knows?  Eventually they could even do recreations of all 79 episodes, with an eye to then transforming the succeeding shows into episodes of 'Trek Kittens'.

'Trek Kittens: The Next Generation'!  'Trek Kittens: Litter Box Nine!'

And there might even be longer specials, which recreate the events from the many 'Star Trek' movies.  For instance, remember this scene from "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"?

Well, in the Animal Planet version, it could look like this:

Of course, what I would love to see is for them to negotiate with the BBC to adapt 'Doctor Who' for Animal Planet.  Not with cats, but with a dog. 

Call him "The WatchDog"!  And with each episode he could regenerate to a totally different breed of dog!

Oh!  The stories they could recreate!  The first one that comes to mind?

"Let's Kill Hitler"



Jim Peyton said...

Truly wonderful....This is must see TV

Lisa said...

Toby, you are my dream TV soulmate! Trek and cats -- and Dr. goodness!! Adorable and hilarious!!! xoxoxoxoox

Jane said...

I am mesmerized and almost high from this post. Truly, the finest thing I've seen online in months.