Every so often, 'Saturday Night Live' does a sketch lambasting the stupidity of the hosts on 'Fox & Friends'. And at the end of the sketch, a crawl runs up the screen showing the corrections made to their statements in the past two hours of the show.
I've been trying to collect them since the first sketch last year, and I'm pretty sure I've got them all. And since today is Election Day, I figured now was as good a time as any to share them......
- Transitions lenses do not reverse the gender of your eyes.
- Sandy Duncan did not “sponsor” the hurricane.
- There are many black people, not just one who is a master of disguise.
- Brian Kilmeade did not invent the term “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.”
- Not all pigs are born with human feet.
- Angela Merkel is not the female version of Steve Urkel.
- It is permissible to say the word “Mexican” on television.
- There is no celebrity named Rape Romano.
- Condoms work every day of the week. Not just Tuesdays.
- Trees do not have bones.
- There are a finite number of people in China.
- Burritos are not “male tacos.”
- The Constitution is a living document, but it cannot walk around.
- Chef Boyardee is not the Prime Minister of Italy. He is the Vice President.
- Paul Ryan is not faster than a cheetah.
- FEMA is not slang for female.
- Many Hispanics own their own cars.
- The Statue of Liberty was not a gift from Santa.
- At no point has Dorf been the number one golfer in the world.
- Lance Armstrong did not trade a testicle for steroids.
- Michael J. Fox does not have “multiple sandwiches.”
- Apple Maps is not a map showing where the apples are.
- 8 is a multiple of 4.
- Women’s vaginas are below their waists.
- “Kris Krostie” is not Chris Christie with his pants on backwards.
- Afi Komen was never the U.N. Secretary General.
- Haitian does not mean “half-Asian.”
- Last Wednesday was Halloween. Not a “ghost invasion.”
- Mr. Met has never announced a preference for any religion over the other.
- Chef Boyardee is not the Vice President of Italy.
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Of course, if Romney wins the election, I don't think I'd find anything about the Fox broadcasting company to be humorous anymore.
I've added the names of Doocy and Kilmeade to the Telvish "lexxicon". The word "kilmeade" is a poisoned drink. I think you can probably guess what "doocy" stands for......