Monday, February 21, 2011


I've had the chance to look at most of the Super Bowl commercials and I wasn't wowed by many of them. I've written about a few of the better blipverts, but now I just want to call it a day with this last focus on the one that I liked the best:

"One Epic Ride" by Kia.

This truly is epic, with "chapters" in the story of the car which can be linked (mostly theoretically) to a variety of TV shows. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if "One Epic Ride" ended up as the best blipvert at the 2011 Toobits Awards next January.

As Locke would say on 'Lost', we're gonna have to watch that again! So whenever you're ready.....

And now here are my suggestions for the theoretical links to each "chapter", using the various Inner Toob blog keywords........

This young couple must have been the actual owners of the Kia, or at least he was. Because of a later scene, the car-jacking probably took place in Los Angeles. And he looks to be a trendy young up-and-comer in business. And this being L.A., it's very likely he's in the business side of show business. Like an agent.


Theoretical link: 'ENTOURAGE'

I'm not saying he has to work at the Miller Gold Agency (There are so many agencies out there!), but it's pozz'ble, just pozz'ble.

To be able to procure an L.A. police uniform and motorcycle for this job would take a criminal with connections. I'm thinking this is the new wheel man for an established gang of thieves.

Theoretical link: 'SMITH'
At least this guy got his comeuppance. Unlike Michael Westin, he probably died from a fall into the ocean like that.

If this is supposed to be set in America, then it must be the Pacific Coast Highway on which the getaway driver is speeding along. (This is why I figured L.A. is where it all begins.)

Theoretical link: 'CHiPs'

In another ten minutes, the successors to Jon and Ponch would have been on his tail. After all, it's more than likely he had to kill an L.A. motorcycle cop for the uniform and the bike. And they'd be hot for revenge/justice. (Whichever came first.)

However, they're not going to get the chance to catch up.....

The guy flying the helicopter could be the evil brother of Ranjit Singh, the favorite NY cabbie for Ted, Barney, Robin, Lily and Marshall.

Theoretical link: 'HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER'
You'll notice I said "evil brother", not "evil twin". I don't think they look that much alike to be twins.....

This guy on the boat could be one of the last big operatives for the evil organization known as "The Ring".
Theoretical link: 'CHUCK'

The demi-gods have the power to change their appearance in Toobworld. (Good examples: Zeus, Ares, Aphrodite, Hercules) So it's no Zonk that Poseidon doesn't look as he once did. And that was thousands of years ago in the Time of Legends.

Theoretical link: 'XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS'
Thousands of years.... No wonder he's aged!

James Cameron has said there are another thirteen moons circling the gas giant Polyphemus, along with Pandora. And he claims to have stories for all of them. But that doesn't mean they have to be all saved for the big screen. Some of them could be developed for television as well, without harming the movie franchise.
See those two little dots in the upper left of the picture? Those are two more of the moons. Either one of those could be the planet seen in the blipvert.

Theoretical link: "AVATAR"

I don't know of any species of TV alien this could be, or if anything similar ever showed up on TV before. Any suggestions? But I'd like to think it's home planet was a member of the League of Non-Aligned worlds; its species would just be one that was never encountered by the TV audiences.
Theoretical link: 'BABYLON 5'

(see the picture for "Big Screen TV")
Wormholes can be found throughout the galaxy, but most of them only serve as a conduit from one location to another.
Theoretical link: 'DEEP SPACE NINE'

This one looked to be temporal as well, which leads to...

WHO'S ON TVNow for my favorite of the connections! The reason why that particular wormhole was temporal in nature is because it was created by a time-traveling ship, much like the wake created by a speedboat.

And which time-traveling ship? Why, the TARDIS, of course! That gathering of the Aztecs took place soon after the departure of the First Incarnation of the Doctor and his companions Barbara and Ian and his grand-daughter Susan.
Theoretical link: 'DOCTOR WHO'

And now there is at least one new version of the blipvert, edited down from its Super Bowl attention-stretcher of a minute, down to about fifteen seconds or so. In this new version, the car (We don't know who the driver is.) leaves the city and is tooling up the coastal roadway when the alien spaceship brings it on board with a tractor beam. No helicopter, no boat, no Poseidon.

In the main Toobworld, the Optima had no occupants when it finally went into the spaceship. (Unless the original passengers had a baby strapped into a car-seat in back. THERE'S a disturbing thought, which I'm very good at.) But now there could be up to four passengers in the car "Over There" in this alternate dimension. And of course, that wouldn't be the only difference between both dimensions......
Theoretical link: 'FRINGE'

But 'Sliders' would work just as well as an option....

Even if there was only the driver, the aliens had to do something with him so that the joyrider could get into the driver's seat. So..... What if those aliens had their own copy of Canamid classic "To Serve Man"?
Theoretical link: 'THE TWILIGHT ZONE'

WISH-CRAFTNow one last thing to consider - why did they all want the car? I'll accept that it was a great ride, which would be why most of those characters wanted it. (I wouldn't know. The only cars I have experience driving are a Pontiac Tempest, a Dodge Dart, a Honda Element. And I don't have a license anymore.)

But why would the Ring really want it? And why would Poseidon out of all of them?

So I'm thinking that - unbeknownst to the talent agent who owned the car - something of great value was hidden inside the car. Something that may have belonged to Poseidon or one of the other demi-gods back in the days of Legend.

Theoretical link: 'The Aprhodite Inheritance'

SPIN-OFF CITYAnd now it's probably buried in Mexico, waiting for some antiquities expedition, perhaps led by Professor Sydney Fox, to find it.

And that would be my last theoretical link: 'RELIC HUNTER'



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