DOCTORING A THEORY OF RELATEEVEETY

Not too long ago, we lost a great character actor from Great Britain - Graham Crowden. Mr. Crowden was perhaps best known to American audiences as Tom Ballard in the Britcom 'Waiting For God'.

In 1970, he appeared in a 'Callan' episode entitled "A Village Called G". He had a featured role as an unlicensed doctor known only as "The Groper". He was slightly effeminate, and because of the interest he took in one of Callan's male associates, most likely homosexual. As to why he no longer had a medical license, it could have been that he performed abortions before it became legal in Great Britain in 1967. But I think it more likely that with a nickname like "The Groper", it's possible that he was caught sexually molesting patients. (I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess they were young males.)

So without a real name established, we could make any number of wild theories as to his identity. And with those, we could also indulge in a few theories of relateeveety.

But I'll keep it simple and suggest only one - that his last name was Rafferty.

And as such, he may have had a younger brother named Sid.

Sid Rafferty had been a medical officer in the United States army for 23 years before he went into private practice in Los Angeles.

Could it be pozz'ble, just pozz'ble, that he was originally of British origin, but lost his accent once he was in the Army?

I could see Sid being the younger brother who idolized his older brother, unsuspecting of his compulsions; he even followed his brother into the medical profession.

But once he discovered his brother's... inclinations... the more conservative Sid decided to put distance between himself and his sibling by joining the United States army as a doctor. Then, once the truth about "The Groper" came out publicly, maybe that's what caused Dr. Sid Rafferty to resign his rank of colonel and leave the Army. (As a series, 'Rafferty' came out in 1977, so the timing between events isn't so distanced as to be impossible to connect.)

It's just a theory of relateeveety, remember. "The Groper" could just as easily be related to any other Patrick McGoohan TV characters, including John Drake/Number Six of 'Danger Man'/'Secret Agent'/'The Prisoner' and Nelson "Curtis" Brenner of 'The Prisoner' and 'Columbo'.

The theory of relateeveety between any characters played by Graham Crowden and Patrick McGoohan was suggested by my very good friend Michael, who believes they have a similarity in appearance. In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that he offered me a bribe if I agreed.

Which hopefully I'll one day collect.....

BCnU!