Wednesday, August 22, 2007


"Admittedly ... some convicted felons deserve to be beaten.
[Leona Helmsley].

But some say justice must be satisfied
Kevin Nealon
'Saturday Night Live'

It was a friend of mine who alerted me to the news that hotel magnate Leona Helmsley had died; she thought I could do something funny with that.

I had no interest in that, as it didn't feel right. Not out of any sense of respect, but because I didn't like that woman, being a hotel union man for the last quarter century. I think when Mr. Pip greeted her in "the other place", for her it was going a dingy fleabag motel where laxatives were left on the pillow for all eternity.

Sherman Helmsley I'll mourn someday. Leona? Meh.

"The Queen Of Mean" had a televersion beyond her appearances in news reports back in the late 1980s, thanks to Suzanne Pleshette's portrayal in the TV-Movie. (Her beloved hubby Harry Helmsley was played by the late Lloyd Bridges.)

But it was her "life" in the sketch comedy TV dimension that yielded more appearances, with Nora Dunn embodying her tough-skinned nastiness on 'Saturday Night Live'. If she wasn't running a haunted mansion in NYC or breaking out of jail with Zza Zza Gabor and Tammy Faye Bakker (who passed away in the real world as well just a few weeks ago), she was sparring with the Church Lady on "her" 'Church Chat'.

But the news of her death puts me in mind of that former associate of Scrooge - I'd go to her funeral, but only if a luncheon was served......

Toby OB

"I'll be seeing you - in your nightmares."
Leona Helmsley
'Saturday Night Live'

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