AS SEEN ON TV: AMY TAN

Like John Updike and Stephen King, author Amy Tan supplied her own voice in 'The Simpsons' episode "Insane Clown Poppy". And so she's today's showcase for "As Seen On TV".

Ms. Tan was appearing on a panel with Tom Clancy and Maya Angelou at the Springfield Book Fair. Here she's shown dismissing Lisa Simpson, ordering the young girl to leave before she embarrassed them both; all because Lisa stated an erroneous analyses of what "The Joy Luck Club" meant on a deeper level. (And it was probably the same analysis most reviewers and readers made.)

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Toby O'B

THE HAT SQUAD GOES TO THE MOVIES

As Norma Desmond in "Sunset Boulevard", Gloria Swanson said, "It's the pictures that got small." And the Academy Awards proved that last night with their tribute to the people in the motion picture business who died in the last year.

That's the one segment of the telecast that should be beamed directly from the control booth, not shot from a camera showing the film up on stage. Queen Latifah gave a perfect and moving rendition of the accompanying song, but we didn't need to see her sing it!

And the camera kept bobbing and weaving to show all those tiny screens up on stage and we never knew where to look. Look at the size of that set above! No wonder the screens were impossible to see if the camera is taping from the audience!
Some of those so reduced, like Ned Tanen, left viewers at home wondering what they did to be honored, because their credits were too small to read. And others just cried out for the full screen treatment - like seeing Ricardo Montalban as Khan!

But my biggest gripe was the omission of Patrick McGoohan from the tribute. At first I thought it was because they were regarding him as just a TV actor. (And he was a giant in Toobworld!) But now I'm reading that it was because only Academy members were honored. So if McGoohan wasn't a member, they excluded him - a man with movies like "Ice Station Zebra", "Silver Streak", "Scanners", "Mary, Queen of Scots", "Escape From Alcatraz", and "Braveheart", for bleep's sake! - and yet Maila Nurmi (Vampira!) gets honored!

Taking a line from another movie: "Inconceivable!"

But at least for the time being, you can see that memorial montage the way it was MEANT to be seen. Click here for the YouTube copy.

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Toby O'B

AS SEEN ON TV: MAYA ANGELOU

Since we're still in February, Black History Month, today's "As Seen On TV" showcase is of the celebrated poet Maya Angelou. She's seen here in "Insane Clown Poppy", an episode of 'The Simpsons' - she was answering a question at the Springfield Book Fair about the capabilities of a stealth bomber.

Unlike John Updike, Stephen King, and Amy Tan, I don't think Ms. Angelou provided her own voice for her toon televersion; I think it may have been series regular Tess McNeille.....

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Toby O'B

QUINN ESSENTIAL SPLAININ

In "Desert Cantos", John Conner and his bodyguard Cameron of 'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles' were in a small desert town investigating the connection between the town and Skynet.

Two young people, Zoe and Henry, drove them outside of town to show them where the cows were dying mysteriously. When Cameron gave her analysis of the situation, Zoe snarked, "Who are you? Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?"

No mention of Dr. Quinn as being a character in a TV show. Zoe could have been referring to a book's title, a biography of the pioneering doctor who broke barriers back in the Old West. So long as the TV show is never mentioned, this will be the standard splainin for any references to Dr. Quinn.....

So no Zonk to be terminated.

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Toby O'B

TWIN SONS OF DIFFERENT MOTHERS

Max Perlich played a former cop turned private investigator in two episodes of 'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles'. In his last turn as Walsh ("Desert Cantos", seen this past Friday), he revealed that he had been a cop for 23 years in Baltimore - the 4th Precinct, Pikesville.

You know what this means for Toobworld, right? Walsh could be the indentical half-brother of JH Brody, the crime scene photographer for Baltimore's Homicide Division in 'Homicide: Life On The Street'. Both roles were played by Max Perlich.

And it's not likely to be refuted on 'Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles' - with "Desert Cantos", Walsh made a very permanent exit from the show......

BCnU!
Toby O'B

ON THE FRINGE OF BONES

"I love it all:

'Star Trek', 'Star Wars', 'Buffy', 'Xena', 'Akira'.

I even watch 'Fringe'."

Colin Fisher, the EXTREMELY morose lab assistant on 'Bones' (whose father should be played by Harry Dean Stanton!), was talking about various examples of TV shows and movies that would be the purview of the crowds who attend the ImagiCon sci-fi conventions. And one of the shows was 'Fringe'.

A little synergy with that special mention, since 'Fringe' airs on the same network as 'Bones'. But problematic as well since both 'Bones' and 'Fringe' should be sharing the same dimension. The other shows/movies mentioned can be splained away - Stars 'Trek' and 'Wars' have been covered many times in the past here at Toobworld Central; 'Buffy' - as it stands as just that one word for a title - could be about anything else besides a vampire slayer (How a comely were-bunny?); 'Xena' we covered yesterday - a reference to an historical portrayal of the warrior princess, and in Toobworld that could be a movie not a TV show; and 'Akira' is in the Tooniverse so it's already nullified for live-action characters. (Although characters from that show could conceivably cross over into the main Toobworld. Bart and Lisa Simpson did it.)

Splainin away Fisher's mention of 'Fringe' isn't too difficult however. It's such a non-descript title that it doesn't have to mean it has anything to do with FBI Agent Olivia Dunham or Dr. Walter Bishop and his son Peter. It could still be about the fringe sciences (which I'm sure Dr. Temperance Brennan would scoff at!), and it could even be more of a documentary show on the order of 'In Search Of....' or 'Ghost Hunters'.

So no Zonk there, just barely.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

FANFICCER'S FRIEND: DOLLING IT UP TO ELEVEN

I don't do the "Fanficcer's Friend" feature on a regular basis anymore, but I couldn't pass this one up.
My blog buddy Combom (of Life, The Universe, and Combom) posted a picture of Matt Smith and Lindsey Duncan on stage in England. What makes this interesting for Toobworld is that Matt Smith was announced last month to be the new Doctor in 'Doctor Who - the eleventh incarnation of the Gallifreyan Time Lord. And Lindsey Duncan was announced last week to be playing Adelaide in an upcoming 'Doctor Who' special.

So far I have no idea if she'll be appearing with Smith or with the Tenth Doctor played by David Tennant, or maybe with both if the special turns out to be a transitional one. Nor do I know if she survives the encounter with the Doctor. So if she does appear only with Doctor Ten and then dies, it would make it difficult to claim in speculative fan fiction that Adelaide would later share her bed somewhere deep in the TARDIS with the next incarnation of the Doctor.

But otherwise.... have at it, ye slashficcers!

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Toby O'B

AKA: MAD PSYCH MEN

On the season finale for 'Psych', fake psychic Shawn Spencer introduced his friend Burton "Gus" Guster as "Sterling Cooper". This wasn't out of the ordinary; he always had fake names for his buddy, and for the most part Gus played along. But this time, the name of "Sterling Cooper" is an in-joke, a reference for the audience serving as a shout-out to the AMC series 'Mad Men', about an advertising firm in the 1960's.

An in-joke it may be, but it's not a Zonk. Unlike a lot of today's in-jokes, this one wasn't over-splained; there was no mention of the TV show.

So as far as Toobworld is concerned, Shawn was referencing the actual ad agency. Now whether or not it's still in existence by 2009, well, that's going to be up to Matthew Weiner. (Hopefully - if AMC is smart, they won't play chicken ever again with his contract and let him oversee his pet project to its conclusion.)

But even if the ad agency is no longer in existence, Shawn may have learned about Sterling-Cooper back in college, or in any reading he may have done that wasn't on the back of a cereal box.

So, no Zonk!

My only real problem is whether or not to accept 'Mad Men' into the main Toobworld. There have been plenty of mentions of other TV shows as TV shows, when they should be sharing the same dimension. Most of these could probably be splained away, but when there was a sub-plot last summer which concerned a particular - and real! - episode of 'The Defenders', that was most likely a fatal Zonk. They even showed scenes from the episode!

I still haven't found a splainin for it, but I haven't given up hope. I'd hate to lose 'Mad Men' from Earth Prime-Time!

BCnU!
Toby O'B

NOM DE PLUME DE TOOB

On the second episode of 'Dollhouse', Matt "The Middleman" Keeslar guest-starred as a client who contracted the services of Echo to be implanted with the memories and personality quirks necessary to make her a girl-friend who enjoyed extreme outdoor activities like white-water rafting, cliff-climbing, and hot sex in a tent.

It turned out that he conned the "Dollhouse" into thinking his identity was that of Richard Connell. But whoever he was, his only purpose in getting Echo into the deep woods was so that he could track her, hunt her down and kill her. It was all very reminiscent of a very famous short story that has served as the inspiration for several movies and episodes of other TV shows - including 'Get Smart' and 'Gilligan's Island'.

And do you know who wrote that short story? His name was Richard Connell.......

Oh, by the way... absolutely NO connection to 'The Middleman' just because Keeslar played Connell.

BCnU!
Toby O'B

NUMBERS RUNNING ON "BURN NOTICE"

It's always great to find an example of "the Numbers" from 'Lost' in other TV shows; it helps sell the idea that on a tele-cosmic level, all of these shows are related.

The latest example came this past Thursday on 'Burn Notice'. Former spy Michael Weston was staking out a storage locker facility for the man who was trying to kill him, and so he took refuge in the shadows next to block 23 of the facility.
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42......

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Toby O'B